• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We still have time to mess this up!

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

The willow is too close to the house.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

American history and black history cannot be separated.

The lights are all blinking red.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / So Who Won The Debate?

So Who Won The Debate?

by John Cole|  May 4, 200710:01 am| 89 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

My gut tells me that the real winner was anyone who didn’t watch the debate and missed Chris Matthew’s grandstanding, incessant babble, and rude interruptions. If you pushed me, though, I would tell you the real winner was either the Democratic Party or Fred Thompson.

I did learn some interesting things:

1.) At least three of the candidates question evolution.

2.) Tommy Thompson thinks it is cool to fire people if they are gay.

3.) Our cultural decay is the root of all problems.

4.) Abortion is the WORSTEST THING EVAH!

5.) Rudy Giuliani, for all his flaws, wass the only one on the stage other than Ron Paul who seems to embrace federalism.

6.) Tom Tancredo is WHOLLY unqualified for any job more important than county dog catcher, and even then I don’t want him near animals.

7.) Gilmore thinks highly of his record. So much so, that when he is talking about himself and how wonderful he is, you briefly forget wehat is really running through your head- ‘Who the hell is this guy?’

8.) Duncan Hunter is batshit crazy and should not be responsible for any intelligence/military related issues.

9.) John McCain is too old to be President. He forgets what he is saying mid-sentence, mumbles, garbles his words, his responce latency is increasing, and he should not be considered a viable candidate. Time has taken its toll on him.

10.) Mitt Romney’s capacity to be oozingly oily and cheesy surprised even me. If there was a more fake man on stage, I don’t know who it is. The man clearly will say anything to win.

11.) The Constitution should not be changed to allow immigrants to run for President, but it should be changed to bash gays.

Overall, if I had to declare a winner among those on stage, it would probably be McCain. He was willing to say enough things to keep everyone happy. The most surprising thing for me was how likable Sam Brownback and Mike Huckabee can be, although that doesn’t override that Brownback is a religious nutter. Huckabee wanting to make environmentalism a religious mandate is the sort of thing that terrifies me for obvious reasons, but he seems like a decent guy. Of all the people on that stage, if I had to choose one to live next door to me, it would be Mike Huckabee. Take that for what it is worth.

Another thing that surprised me is how bloody awful Giuliani’s presentation style is- he is just not a good public speaker. Not that that really matters- his honesty regarding abortion will ensure he is never elected.

All in all, a depressing night. I really did not see anyone or anything very Presidential, and Hunter, Tancredo, and Thompson should just save themselves some time and drop out now.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Open Debate Thread
Next Post: There’s That Name Again »

Reader Interactions

89Comments

  1. 1.

    Paul Wartenberg

    May 4, 2007 at 10:05 am

    You really forgot who the big winner was in last night’s necro-orgy: Ronald Reagan. My God, every candidate praised his name at least once. You’d think they’d dug up his body and had his corpse argue their case that a Republican should lead us for another four years.

    You can tell a party is dead when the most popular guy in the room *is* dead.

  2. 2.

    Hyperion

    May 4, 2007 at 10:06 am

    Of all the people on that stage, if I had to choose one to live next door to me, it would be Mike Huckabee. Take that for what it is worth.

    it’s worth about as much as the sentiment that GWB would be more fun to have a beer with than Gore….which is to say NOTHING.

  3. 3.

    Dreggas

    May 4, 2007 at 10:25 am

    Watching the little bits that I did last night I was amazed at just how much they were trying to out George Bush, George Bush. Shit the only thing lacking was the inability to pronounce nuclear wrong. Further I believe Tancredo gets the proky pig award for most stuttering and stammering.

    Not a single one of them looked presidential and all I could think was that if any one of them got elected the unthinkable would happen, our nation would regress even further than it has the past 6 years.

    The dems could probably nominate a dog and it would win over these bunch of neanderthals. I haven’t seen that much extremism on one stage regarding war hardons, or religious hard-ons since…well…ok the last republican convention but shit…

    Oh and Thompson’s whole “descrimination is ok” bit as far as firing gay people, he just sucked dobson’s dick better than any of them with that one, of course it means he won’t be president but that is a good thing.

  4. 4.

    Ned Raggett

    May 4, 2007 at 10:27 am

    We still need the Ron Paul report.

  5. 5.

    brendanm

    May 4, 2007 at 10:30 am

    Re: Fred Thompson as big winner — that seems to be the general conclusion on the internets.

    Sorta funny that RS has a post up about an inane article questioning whether Thompson playing an anti-semitic guy on TV will hurt him. They rightfully conclude that it’s a non-issue, but don’t really address the critical point, to wit: if Thompson had written a book in which a character observed an instance of anti-semitism, he’d clearly be a Nazi.

  6. 6.

    Pb

    May 4, 2007 at 10:32 am

    The most surprising thing for me was how likable Sam Brownback and Mike Huckabee can be, although that doesn’t override that Brownback is a religious nutter. Huckabee wanting to make environmentalism a religious mandate is the sort of thing that terrifies me for obvious reasons, but he seems like a decent guy.

    But note:

    At least three of the candidates question evolution.

    Huckabee was one of those three–he seems like a nice guy, but he’s still a nutter.

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    May 4, 2007 at 10:35 am

    Oh, I am aware of Huckabee’s religious beliefs. That was kind of my point when I noted his morphing of religious/environmental views.

  8. 8.

    RareSanity

    May 4, 2007 at 10:40 am

    Between this and the Democrat’s Debate, I haven’t seen two such uninspiring things since Diane Keaton’s bare bosoms in “Something’s Gotta Give”!

    All I can say is starting with Bill Clinton (yes, even him): “Is this the best the Baby Boomer generation has to offer?”

    You gave yourselves free prescription drugs, now can you all just retire and start taking them? humph…Baby Boomers, what a waste of a generation!

  9. 9.

    Tom Hilton

    May 4, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Rudy Giuliani, for all his flaws, wass the only one on the stage other than Ron Paul who seems to embrace federalism.

    Only as long as he’s not…y’know…federal. I guarantee you that if he were elected President he would be all in favor all manner of federal diktats to the states. Giuliani believes in one and only one principle, and that is absolute power for Rudy Giuliani.

  10. 10.

    Dave in ME

    May 4, 2007 at 10:55 am

    Easy to see who won the debate – the American people because they got to see what a bunch of morally repugnant frauds those clowns are. With a field like that and a war wholly owned by Republicans, their prospects for next fall, for either the White House or Congress, could not look much worse.

    Best moment of the night had to be when they were asked who did not believe in evolution.

  11. 11.

    Teak111

    May 4, 2007 at 10:58 am

    My standard for Presidents that never were is Colin Powell, but he is irreputably damaged for his WMD speech, but his other qualities are what I would like to see in a president but probably never will. The qualities to be a good president at antithetical to those required to smooze and win. I still can’t figure out how Bush won in 04. How could did that happen.

  12. 12.

    ThymeZone

    May 4, 2007 at 11:03 am

    Fine, fine post, and it captures quite well a lot of unfortunate truth about the current GOP and also about our political process WRT the media. (In a word, it’s crap).

    The state of the GOP is sad, really, and I say this as a blue and yellow dog Democrat. I’m a Dem for policy reasons, not because I think Dem politicians are wonderful people. If we had a better GOP, I wouldn’t have to lay awake nights worrying about whether these totally insane, lying bastards are going to take over the country again. But I do, because …… well, you saw last night, right? I mean, could you write a Joseph Heller novel about politics any more bizarre than what we saw last night? Good God almighty, these are some seriously crazy and dishonest fuckers who think they ought to be running our country, and they have to be stopped. There is a clash of civilizations going on, and it’s going on right here in this country, kids.

  13. 13.

    Dreggas

    May 4, 2007 at 11:03 am

    Tom Hilton Says:

    Only as long as he’s not…y’know…federal. I guarantee you that if he were elected President he would be all in favor all manner of federal diktats to the states. Giuliani believes in one and only one principle, and that is absolute power for Rudy Giuliani.

    Yeah, Sullivan has been documenting Giuliani, he’s definitely one of the worst Authoritarians on the list.

  14. 14.

    Dreggas

    May 4, 2007 at 11:07 am

    ThymeZone Says:

    The state of the GOP is sad, really, and I say this as a blue and yellow dog Democrat. I’m a Dem for policy reasons, not because I think Dem politicians are wonderful people. If we had a better GOP, I wouldn’t have to lay awake nights worrying about whether these totally insane, lying bastards are going to take over the country again. But I do, because …… well, you saw last night, right? I mean, could you write a Joseph Heller novel about politics any more bizarre than what we saw last night? Good God almighty, these are some seriously crazy and dishonest fuckers who think they ought to be running our country, and they have to be stopped. There is a clash of civilizations going on, and it’s going on right here in this country, kids.

    It’s bad enough these people exist, worse still that everything they were saying last night was designed to get votes from the neanderthals that think like them and no one else. Even worse there isn’t a one of them that an honest conservative, meaning people like John and others who realize just how fucked up the current admin is, could even pull the lever for, meaning that the one who gets the nomination is going to be the one who’s the biggest nut.

    I can see the ’08 republican convention now, storm troopers and jackboots aplenty with armbands bearing a cross….

  15. 15.

    AkaDad

    May 4, 2007 at 11:13 am

    The winners of this debate were those who had their televisions turned off…

  16. 16.

    Pb

    May 4, 2007 at 11:21 am

    On comparing the debates, Digby nails it, as usual:

    I plan to watch the debate tonight as painful as it will surely be. I’d love it if Matthews would take the trivial tack as Williams did with the Dems last week, but I don’t expect it. One would think that if they can discuss Edwards’ haircuts and Joe Biden’s gaffes in a debate they could certainly ask about McCain’s temper tantrums. I doubt that they will even near the issue of ties to corrupt, rich businessmen as they did with Obama because well, the debate only lasts an hour and a half. (And I would think it’s important to hear about Romney’s underwear and Rudy’s ferret problem. These are character issues.)But Matthews probably won’t ask any of these questions. Republicans are serious, manly people and deserve to be treated with respect.

    MSNBC: fair and balanced.

  17. 17.

    Andrew

    May 4, 2007 at 11:27 am

    My standard for Presidents that never were is Colin Powell, but he is irreputably damaged for his WMD speech, but his other qualities are what I would like to see in a president but probably never will.

    You’re looking for a yes-man willing to sell out his values and his soldiers lives to prop up a lie?

  18. 18.

    Cyrus

    May 4, 2007 at 11:32 am

    1.) At least three of the candidates question evolution.

    On the one hand, it’s good that the number is so low, considering how many Republicans question evolution. For that matter, Americans in general. On the other hand though, from what I’ve read, it was a real softball question. A binary, agree/disagree with “evolution” is a very safe question. Even just substituting in the phrase “intelligent design” or “teach the controversy” or something would have been a much tougher, and more useful, question. Pity.

    5.) Rudy Giuliani, for all his flaws, wass the only one on the stage other than Ron Paul who seems to embrace federalism.

    Stuff like this often seems like a dodge to me. Gay marriage as discussed during the 2004 Democratic primaries was a good example. It seemed like the serious candidates devoted at most five seconds to what they actually think about the ethics and effects and legality of gay marriage, and the rest of their allotted time to how great it is that each state can decide the issue on their own so the president doesn’t have to. Substantively, it’s a defensible position, and pragmatically, there were much more important arguments for and against all the candidates than nearly-empty rhetoric on this one issue. But it grated because anyone who thinks a general principled case for or against gay marriage really depends on the whims of the individual state is crazy, and anyone who honestly has no personal opinion about whether legal gay marriage would be good or not is too uninformed to be president of the local Lion’s Club.

    But anyways, how exactly did Giuliani and Paul reveal themselves as markedly better than the competition on the principle of federalism, and/or cravenly dodge the question? I didn’t see the debate.

  19. 19.

    over it

    May 4, 2007 at 11:34 am

    (And I would think it’s important to hear about Romney’s underwear and Rudy’s ferret problem. These are character issues.)

    I wonder how Romney would answer the “boxer’s or briefs?” question.

    I would bet most people don’t realize he wears neither….that he wears magic sacred underwear.

  20. 20.

    ThymeZone

    May 4, 2007 at 11:36 am

    MSNBC: fair and balanced.

    As near as I could tell, it was nothing but a staged opportunity for these lying cocksuckers to take swings at puffball “questions” that are just prompts for talking points.

    The absurd idea seems to be that in a Republican primary, the only relevant material is Republican talking points. Later in the general election, we get to ask things like “Your coalition includes people who think the earth is 600 years old. Are you seriously going to run for president and not bitchslap those people?”

    Of course in the general, we get the Rove effect, where the time and space are consumed with jackalope sightings.

  21. 21.

    ThymeZone

    May 4, 2007 at 11:37 am

    600 really means 6000.

    Heh.

  22. 22.

    kchiker

    May 4, 2007 at 11:41 am

    Did anyone see MSNBC’s interview with Mr. and Mrs. Brownback after the debate? He said nothing suprising, but his wife would randomly/vacantly look at the camera (for about three seconds), then look at Mr. Brownback (whether he was talking or not…for three more seconds)…then look back at the camera (for three seconds)….etc. It was just…odd.

  23. 23.

    Andrew

    May 4, 2007 at 11:46 am

    Did anyone see MSNBC’s interview with Mr. and Mrs. Brownback after the debate?

    I guarantee that anyone married to Brownback is taking a truckload of mood stabilizers.

  24. 24.

    Zifnab

    May 4, 2007 at 11:48 am

    I still can’t figure out how Bush won in 04. How could did that happen[?]

    For starters, this dog-and-pony show of Republicans parading moral values was two years younger and didn’t have quite as many scandals plaguing it as it does today. Remember, John Cole was a George Bush Republican in ’04, so don’t pretend like the public hasn’t shifted since then.

    Beyond that, I’m kinda glad Bush did win in ’04 if only because all the corruption and destruction caused by this administration can’t be handed off into the Democrats’ laps. A Democratic President without a Democratic Congress would have been less than useless, because – as the Republicans proved from ’94 to ’00 – they can do just as much damage and be alot less visible when they’re running the Congress and letting a Dem sit in the White House. I don’t think ’06 would have happened if not for Bush winning in ’04. I don’t think the Out of Iraq Dem caucus would have emerged with Kerry as President. And I don’t think guys like George Allen and Richard Pombo would have lost their seats if they had powerful Democrats to demonize.

    In the end, I think we had to take a step back (and it was a big, ugly step) for our politics to move two steps forward. The damage dealt to the Republican Party and its national image of “morals” and “responsibility” by another four years of Bush was, ultimately, necessary to get people to wake up.

  25. 25.

    mrmobi

    May 4, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    The winners of this debate were those who had their televisions turned off…

    That would be… me.

    Between this and the Democrat’s Debate, I haven’t seen two such uninspiring things since Diane Keaton’s bare bosoms in “Something’s Gotta Give”!

    All I can say is starting with Bill Clinton (yes, even him): “Is this the best the Baby Boomer generation has to offer?”

    You gave yourselves free prescription drugs, now can you all just retire and start taking them? humph…Baby Boomers, what a waste of a generation!

    Ick, you must be from the “eats their young” generation. Smug fucker, aren’t you? What about Steven King, Emmylou Harris, Arlo Guthrie, Billy Crystal, Glenn Close, Carlos Santana, Johnny Bench, Thurman Munson, David Bowie, Dave Barry, Warren Zevon, David Letterman, Salman Rushdie and Larry David, to name just a few of the “waste of a generation” from one year, 1947.

    Diane Keaton is in her 60s, nimrod. What did you think her tits were going to look like? Not much in the way of imaginative ability, eh?

    Oh, and fuck you very much.

  26. 26.

    Tsulagi

    May 4, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    Of all the people on that stage, if I had to choose one to live next door to me, it would be Mike Huckabee.

    I thought exactly the same thing when I first saw Huckabee on TDS and last night’s debate. I could get along with him, and you have the sense he’d respect your opinions even if he disagreed. While I wouldn’t mind him living next door or my kids playing in his yard, no way I’d want him as president.

    Mitt Romney’s capacity to be oozingly oily and cheesy surprised even me.

    Me too. Hadn’t seen him much before. The guy is a windup plastic Ken doll.

    Checked RedState last night to see what the nutter take would be on The Lifelong Varmint Hunter. Noticed one commenter was impressed how “attractive” Mitt was. He was seconded. Apparently remaining straight Republicans who aren’t seeing hookers is a vanishing demographic.

  27. 27.

    RandyH

    May 4, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    I guarantee that anyone married to Brownback is taking a truckload of mood stabilizers.

    I felt sorry for her. The same way I feel sorry for James Mcgreevy’s wife and Ted Haggard’s wife.

    Ya know what I mean?

    And she looked almost as out of it as Laura Bush did in her American Idol appearance with her loving husband. That “I’m here for you – but just don’t touch me” look.

  28. 28.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 4, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    You’re looking for a yes-man willing to sell out his values and his soldiers lives to prop up a lie?

    That’d be McCain, I reckon.

    600 really means 6000.

    Heh.

    Too bad. Trying to justify a religious belief that the world is only 600 years old would be beyond hilarious. I suppose Christopher Columbus is the grandson of Adam and Eve, and he’s Noah, too, only he has the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria instead of just one Ark.

    George Bush would be Jesus, I suppose. He killed for your sins, America.

  29. 29.

    John Cole

    May 4, 2007 at 12:23 pm

    I thought exactly the same thing when I first saw Huckabee on TDS and last night’s debate. I could get along with him, and you have the sense he’d respect your opinions even if he disagreed. While I wouldn’t mind him living next door or my kids playing in his yard, no way I’d want him as president.

    Bingo. Kinda actually reminds me of an idiosyncratic right wing poly sci teacher I had in undergrad.

  30. 30.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 4, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    Too bad. Trying to justify a religious belief that the world is only 600 years old would be beyond hilarious. I suppose Christopher Columbus is the grandson of Adam and Eve, and he’s Noah, too, only he has the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria instead of just one Ark.

    Also, try to refute all the evidence that the world existed before 1407. Fuck the fossil record and whatnot: the entire Holy Bible is a lie written by Catholics in 1750, the Divine Comedy and Chaucer were actually written in 1552, and the Roman Empire is a myth. This is only a small taste of the outright wackiness that would ensue.

    Could someone please, please, please invent this religion for me?

  31. 31.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 4, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    I believe the world is only 60 years old. People who claim to be older than 60 are liars- they’re only 60, and were created on the seventh day of the world.

    Maybe the world is only 60 seconds old, and the time before that is just a collective lie God implanted in our brains to trick us and keep us from going nuts at being born beyond infancy. Bet you moonbats can’t refute that one, can you?

    Ho ho ho, bitches!

  32. 32.

    Pb

    May 4, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Did anyone see MSNBC’s interview with Mr. and Mrs. Brownback after the debate?

    Yeah, but the only thing I could think of when I saw her was “she’s a man, baby!” Apparently she’s also some sort of newspaper fortune heiress.

  33. 33.

    Pb

    May 4, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    Maybe the world is only 60 seconds old, and the time before that is just a collective lie God implanted in our brains to trick us and keep us from going nuts at being born beyond infancy. Bet you moonbats can’t refute that one, can you?

    No, we can’t–unfalsifiability is a bitch, which is something I learned in my (allegedly false) memories of the Philosophy of Science class my brain tells me I ‘took’ in ‘college’.

  34. 34.

    Tim

    May 4, 2007 at 12:41 pm

    his wife would randomly/vacantly look at the camera (for about three seconds), then look at Mr. Brownback (whether he was talking or not…for three more seconds)…then look back at the camera (for three seconds)….etc. It was just…odd.

    Not odd at all. We call that “doin’ the Nancy”.

  35. 35.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 4, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    No, we can’t—unfalsifiability is a bitch, which is something I learned in my (allegedly false) memories of the Philosophy of Science class my brain tells me I ‘took’ in ‘college’.

    Yeah, God loves to fuck with idiot leftards like you. Mind you, the world is now approximately 12 minutes old, so those false memories of yours are now becoming self-fulfilling prophecies. After all, you can’t wander into your boss’s office, proclaim yourself the boss, and inform him/her that since the world is less than 15 minutes old your lunchbreak should be allowed to go on for another 45 minutes, can you?

    Who gets to be Adam and who gets to be Eve, though? My vote is with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

    Mind you, future generations will wonder how come their kids got to run off and marry someone else, after their Maddox slays Shiloh, and then doth flee, bearing the Mark of the Lord, unto the land of North L.A.

  36. 36.

    cleek

    May 4, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    What about Steven King, Emmylou Harris, Arlo Guthrie…

    are any of them running for president ?

  37. 37.

    RareSanity

    May 4, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    Ick, you must be from the “eats their young” generation. Smug fucker, aren’t you? What about Steven King, Emmylou Harris, Arlo Guthrie, Billy Crystal, Glenn Close, Carlos Santana, Johnny Bench, Thurman Munson, David Bowie, Dave Barry, Warren Zevon, David Letterman, Salman Rushdie and Larry David, to name just a few of the “waste of a generation” from one year, 1947.

    Maybe I should been more clear. Add politically before each instance of Baby Boom Generation….

    My parents are Boomers and are great.

    Diane Keaton is in her 60s, nimrod. What did you think her tits were going to look like?

    Exactly why I shouldn’t have seen them, just like those debates.

    Nimrod?? How totally 1985 of you…Angry little cuss aren’t you?

  38. 38.

    teak111

    May 4, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    You’re looking for a yes-man willing to sell out his values and his soldiers lives to prop up a lie?

    I know, I know, Andrew. I read his book and thought what a great leader, he gave a great speech at the 2000 GOP convention, but then THAT!

    I guess its true: You never want to meet your heros.

  39. 39.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 4, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    Not odd at all. We call that “doin’ the Nancy”.

    She was just fantasizing about Frank Sinatra. It’s a completely different thing. I hope.

    are any of them running for president ?

    Would you vote for Stephen King for President? I guess I would, if he ran against George Bush. I would also vote for Zombie Nixon, if Zombie Nixon ran against George Bush. I would also vote for George Bush’s father, if George Bush’s father ran against George Bush.

  40. 40.

    Mr Furious

    May 4, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    Mitt Romney’s son is named Tagg Romney.

    WTF?

  41. 41.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 4, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    I would also vote for the escaped mental patient, if the escaped mental patient were running against George Bush. (At least he might have multiple personalities providing him with a diverse number of points of view, which is more than you can say for Bush’s inner circle.)

    I would also vote for a stray pigeon I saw in the park, if that stray pigeon happened to be running against George Bush. At least that pigeon couldn’t fuck anything up worse than it’s already been fucked up.

    I would also vote for a stray ball of lint if it ran against George Bush, for reasons similar to those for which I would vote for the pigeon. As a matter of fact, if the Democrats nominated that pigeon as their2008 candidate, with the stray ball of lint as its running mate, they’d still probably beat any of those Bush clones running on the GOP ticket in 2008.

    (If the pigeon was eaten before the election, they could always appoint a rabid squirrel as the new candidate. I think that rabid squirrel could handle a situation like Iraq much more effectively than Bush has. If that rabid squirre succumbed before the election, a sewer rat would do in a pinch. That sewer rat has a proven record as being more reliable on the issue of education reform than Bush has.)

  42. 42.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 4, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    than Bush has= than Bush is. Fucking rotting brain is doing me no favors today, I can tell you. Funny how a brain can decompose like this when it’s only 20 minutes old, though.

  43. 43.

    Punchy

    May 4, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Of all the people on that stage, if I had to choose one to live next door to me, it would be Mike Huckabee. Take that for what it is worth.

    I heard he likes to shave cats, drink the HELLO FRUITSTUFF, and exercise a lot. Not to mention, his name sounds like it belongs to Cletus from the Simpsons.

    You two would make great neighbors.

  44. 44.

    Wilfred

    May 4, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Mitt Romney’s son is named Tagg Romney

    Nice catch.

  45. 45.

    Mr Furious

    May 4, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Tom hilton is right. Take it from someone who lived in NYC during the 90s…Rudy’s love for state control disappears the second his fingers touch the federal levers. And as for appointing lackeys and incompetent fools and firing effective people who threaten his ego? Bush has got nothing on Rudy.

    You don’t want that maniac anywhere near the White House.

  46. 46.

    DougJ

    May 4, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Be honest with me: is there any chance Giuliani will get asked about ferrets at these debates? And if the answer is “no”, is there any chance that he’ll flip out about something else?

    I’m only watching them if there’s a chance of Rudy going postal.

  47. 47.

    Fruitbat Jones

    May 4, 2007 at 1:16 pm

    How can grown, educated, smart men (and broads) still deny the existance of evolution?

    More, how does one trust their President to see the fear in his Kim Jung Ils’ face if he cant even see that apes look exactly like humans? How about giving all of these idiots a 10th grade biology and English exam and sharing the results with America?

  48. 48.

    The Other Steve

    May 4, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    In the end, I think we had to take a step back (and it was a big, ugly step) for our politics to move two steps forward. The damage dealt to the Republican Party and its national image of “morals” and “responsibility” by another four years of Bush was, ultimately, necessary to get people to wake up.

    But it’s sad in a way. In 2004 I was trying to warn my Republican friends, but they just didn’t see it coming.

    I’d prefer it if there were two parties battling out ideas and keeping one another in check. Although, granted, now that the media is a wholly owned subidiary of the GOP, there will at least be media oversight.

  49. 49.

    Wilfred

    May 4, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Apparently she’s also some sort of newspaper fortune heiress.

    What’s Kansan for ‘Cabana Boy’?

    Be honest with me: is there any chance Giuliani will get asked about ferrets at these debates?

    Mayor Guiliani, as mayor of New York you were successful in ferreting out squeegee men and graffiti artists. As President, would you also try to ferret terrorists our of our ferritory? Would that be considered torture?

  50. 50.

    mark

    May 4, 2007 at 1:33 pm

    Bingo. Kinda actually reminds me of an idiosyncratic right wing poly sci teacher I had in undergrad.

    WHAT, a right wing prof in college, that’s impossible. I thought Ward Churchill had them all rounded up and shot? Does David Horowitz know about this??

  51. 51.

    Pb

    May 4, 2007 at 1:36 pm

    That ferret thing is pretty funny. According to Rudy, they’re “little weasels”–I guess he can’t stand having any competition!

  52. 52.

    Zifnab

    May 4, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    Of all the people on that stage, if I had to choose one to live next door to me, it would be Mike Huckabee. Take that for what it is worth.

    He always reminded me of Kevin Spacy from American Beauty.

  53. 53.

    Andrew

    May 4, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    How can grown, educated, smart men (and broads) still deny the existance of evolution?

    You’re making at least three really sketchy assumptions here.

  54. 54.

    Tsulagi

    May 4, 2007 at 1:47 pm

    Mitt Romney’s son is named Tagg Romney.

    WTF?

    Well, if you think about it, it sorta seems appropriate. What with all the magic underwear getting in the way plus having to line up the hole in the sheet, Mitt felt a sense of accomplishment. Wanted a name to show he got the job done.

  55. 55.

    Leader Desslok

    May 4, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    Who will protect me from The Homosexual Agenda?

  56. 56.

    Bud

    May 4, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    After 90 minutes of listening to the debate, I felt it was time wasted, in spite of having a glass of wine! It was beyond shocking. You would think they lived in a different world than the rest of us- what cognitive dissonance. What was most frightening is how quickly they will start another war with Iran, and who can out-nut the other. Someone stated earlier about a fairly sane Paul. I kept wondering all through the 90 minutes if these guys were for real. The winner was the dead guy-Reagan.

  57. 57.

    kchiker

    May 4, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    Not odd at all. We call that “doin’ the Nancy”.

    I went back and watched this again. Mrs. Brownback gave me chills. You’d think I’d be numb to getting freaked out by politicians or their spouses by now….

  58. 58.

    Pooh

    May 4, 2007 at 2:08 pm

    ZSC’s entire post is a gem, I just want to reprint this bit:

    I would also vote for the escaped mental patient, if the escaped mental patient were running against George Bush. (At least he might have multiple personalities providing him with a diverse number of points of view, which is more than you can say for Bush’s inner circle.)

  59. 59.

    Mario

    May 4, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    The only thing that makes me doubt the theory of evolution are people who doubt the theory of evolution.

  60. 60.

    cleek

    May 4, 2007 at 2:47 pm

    After 90 minutes of listening to the debate, I felt it was time wasted, in spite of having a glass of wine!

    90 minutes for one glass of wine? shit, it’s a rare day that a bottle lasts more than an hour at stately Cleek Manor. Mrs C and i consider an open bottle an affront to good sense, and finish it off as fast as our little mouth parts can lap it up.

  61. 61.

    mrmobi

    May 4, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Maybe I should been more clear. Add politically before each instance of Baby Boom Generation….

    Ok, we’ve had two baby boomer Presidents now, Clinton and Bush II.

    Both a waste of a generation, politically?

    I could be wrong here, but Bush II makes Bubbah look like one of the greatest leaders in history, and I don’t even particularly like Clinton, or his wife. It will be decades before Republicans can recover from this castastrofuck of a Presidency.

    Americans, god bless em, are starting to pay attention, and with this field of Republicans (plus Gingrich and Thompson) that can’t be anything but great for Democrats.

    This is the most pathetic collection of homophobic, science-denying, “oozingly oily and cheesy,” Reagan wannabee flip-floppers I’ve seen from the Party of Torture yet.

    I pray every night for Gingrich to enter the race.

    Sorry if I was abrasive (and out-of-date), but you shouldn’t insult the old people.

  62. 62.

    mrmobi

    May 4, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    I would also vote for a stray ball of lint if it ran against George Bush, for reasons similar to those for which I would vote for the pigeon. As a matter of fact, if the Democrats nominated that pigeon as their2008 candidate, with the stray ball of lint as its running mate, they’d still probably beat any of those Bush clones running on the GOP ticket in 2008.

    (If the pigeon was eaten before the election, they could always appoint a rabid squirrel as the new candidate. I think that rabid squirrel could handle a situation like Iraq much more effectively than Bush has. If that rabid squirre succumbed before the election, a sewer rat would do in a pinch. That sewer rat has a proven record as being more reliable on the issue of education reform than Bush has.)

    Damn, ZSC, for someone who is rotting, you got game!

  63. 63.

    Face

    May 4, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    (/angrily scans thread)

    WHERE THE FUCK IS BIRDZILLA????

    (/slams fist on mouse)

  64. 64.

    Pb

    May 4, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    Objectively speaking, I think Bill Clinton’s Presidency was the best 8 years we’d seen in the latter half of the 20th century, so I’ve gotta give him some props for that.

  65. 65.

    Dreggas

    May 4, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    (If the pigeon was eaten before the election, they could always appoint a rabid squirrel as the new candidate. I think that rabid squirrel could handle a situation like Iraq much more effectively than Bush has. If that rabid squirre succumbed before the election, a sewer rat would do in a pinch. That sewer rat has a proven record as being more reliable on the issue of education reform than Bush has.)

    I believe he fits the bill…he is napoleon after all

  66. 66.

    Dreggas

    May 4, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    Mario Says:

    The only thing that makes me doubt the theory of evolution are people who doubt the theory of evolution.

    You kidding me? It just shows what happened to the genes of the neanderthals and so called missing link…living proof that we mated with them somwhere along the way and now we can fully appreciate, and regret, that period.

  67. 67.

    Dreggas

    May 4, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    Pb Says:

    Objectively speaking, I think Bill Clinton’s Presidency was the best 8 years we’d seen in the latter half of the 20th century, so I’ve gotta give him some props for that.

    growing up through Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and now bush II, I agree. Of course I only remember a bit of Reagan mainly Iran Contra, Ryan White (and AIDs in general).

  68. 68.

    Baby Jane

    May 4, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    Did anyone see MSNBC’s interview with Mr. and Mrs. Brownback after the debate?

    Yeah, but the only thing I could think of when I saw her was “she’s a man, baby!”

    Statistically speaking, one of those guys on stage is gay. I gotta go with Brownback since he’s completely corked himself up with the Jeebus. He also has that cute gay name, butt being stuffed full’o Jeebus is the clincher.

  69. 69.

    Andrew

    May 4, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    growing up through Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and now bush II, I agree. Of course I only remember a bit of Reagan mainly Iran Contra, Ryan White (and AIDs in general).

    It totally sucked when Reagan gave AIDS to poor Ryan White.

  70. 70.

    RSA

    May 4, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    Mitt Romney’s son is named Tagg Romney. WTF?

    Jeez, one ending consonant per customer!

  71. 71.

    p.lukasiak

    May 4, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    I watched the whole thing.

    All I can say is that when the “crazy” guy (Paul) is the only one who doesn’t scare me, you know the field is pretty weak.

    I mean, has anyone on that podium figured out that if we attack Iran, the American soldiers in Iraq will be sitting ducks?

  72. 72.

    Dreggas

    May 4, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    p.lukasiak Says:

    I mean, has anyone on that podium figured out that if we attack Iran, the American soldiers in Iraq will be sitting ducks?

    Duh, they’ll be the ones doing the attacking. If one of these guys gets elected they’ll execute a tried and failed Risk strategy, they’ll keep invading countries while leaving behind a small garrison to defend the ones they already had…

  73. 73.

    AkaDad

    May 4, 2007 at 6:33 pm

    Who will protect me from The Homosexual Agenda?

    I will, if you marry me…

  74. 74.

    Tulkinghorn

    May 4, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    Mitt Romney’s son is named Tagg Romney

    Nice catch

    I am waiting for the grandson named ‘Blooper’ or ‘Squeeze Play’ Romney. An androgynous one could go by ‘Switch’.

  75. 75.

    Win Harrison

    May 4, 2007 at 11:08 pm

    Why wasn’t that guy Chris Cox allowed to be in the debate? – he’s said he’s running for a year now, and been on Thom Hartmann’s show a few times. And he has as good a shot as Tancredo.

    Hmm, maybe it’s John Cox. The fact I can’t remember could be the answer to my own question.

  76. 76.

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    May 5, 2007 at 4:55 am

    Duh, they’ll be the ones doing the attacking. If one of these guys gets elected they’ll execute a tried and failed Risk strategy, they’ll keep invading countries while leaving behind a small garrison to defend the ones they already had…

    If we conquer every country in the world, eventually no one will be left to arm insurgencies against us. When those insurgents eventually run out of weapons, the whole world will be free! Then France, Syria, Laos and Zimbabwe will become states of the USA, just like Texas and New Hampshire!

    How can you moonbats not appreciate the neocons’ noble vision? World peace, no more immigration crisis, no more stupid treaties… if everyone were American, we’d be set.

  77. 77.

    Redhand

    May 5, 2007 at 7:19 am

    I still can’t figure out how Bush won in 04. How could did that happen.

    The Democrats ran John Kerry.

  78. 78.

    Chuck Butcher

    May 5, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    Even though almost everything Reagan actually presided over proved incompetence (no, he didn’t kill the USSR-he was there when it happened), the best thing the Republicans could do would be to dig him up, poke a stick up his butt, mount him on wheels and run him. He’d make as much sense as he ever did and be as inoffensive (from upwind) and be capable of vetoing absolutely nothing, I suppose the lack of signing would be a defacto veto – forcing actual non-partisan action. The drawback would be Nancy consulting horoscopes to find out what he really meant to do.

    I don’t know how the wingnut faction would fare in Congressional elections with a dead guy at the top of the ticket, but by actually moving under their own power in his presence they would give evidence of life – intelligent or not – the God intervention idea might suffer from his lack of deus ex machina speeches.

    Their biggest problem would occur when Dennis Kucinich claimed to be higher encarnation of Reagan in his march toward higher life form. The majority of the population would be best served by taking large doses of strong hallucinigens and contemplating a peanut before voting Reagan08 – A Nude Day.

  79. 79.

    DougJ

    May 5, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    Maybe I’m wrong but it’s hard for me to imagine anyone other than Huckabee or Romney winning any of the debates. The other candidates are all certifiably insane.

    Not that I love Huckabee or Romney but I’ve seen them get through interviews without looking like lunatics.

  80. 80.

    John Casey

    May 5, 2007 at 6:54 pm

    No Republican should ever again be elected to public office.

  81. 81.

    DougJ

    May 5, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    Mitt Romney’s son is named Tagg Romney

    That doesn’t sound like a porn star.

  82. 82.

    caustics

    May 5, 2007 at 7:24 pm

    I’m starting to see signs that the “bloom is off the rose” for Fred Thompson in the usual winger enclaves. His unwillingness to engage early makes him look like a presumptuous pussy, his bona fides are suspect, and he is millions of dollars short of waging a serious media campaign.

    Throw in the fact that he is a mediocre public speaker, less than easy on the eyes – all that’s left is “at least he’s not one of those ten other guys”.

    Works for me.

  83. 83.

    The Other Steve

    May 5, 2007 at 9:46 pm

    I mean, has anyone on that podium figured out that if we attack Iran, the American soldiers in Iraq will be sitting ducks?

    I’m sure they really don’t care.

  84. 84.

    Dee

    May 6, 2007 at 4:38 am

    if everyone were American, we’d be set.
    Scruffy McSnufflepuss
    May 5th, 2007 at 4:55 am

    Hardly. In case you haven’t noticed, there is quite a lot of division among Americans. I don’t think a compromise is possible between the polar opposites of the spectrum.

  85. 85.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    May 6, 2007 at 6:51 am

    That doesn’t sound like a porn star.

    Better than Sam Brownback, anyway.

  86. 86.

    canuckistani

    May 6, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    A few years ago, the CBC ran a show called “Talking to Americans” in which comedian Rick Mercer traveled through the US asking poeple questions about Canada designed to expose their ignorance in as funny a manner as possible.

    Hackabee’s appearance is
    here.
    “Hackabee” was a typo, but I like it. He is a man who will buy you a *lot* of foreign relations credibility.

  87. 87.

    liberal

    May 6, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    The same way I feel sorry for James Mcgreevy’s wife and Ted Haggard’s wife.

    Following up on the headline in the Onion awhile back (“Homosexual Tearfully Admits to Being Governor of New Jersey”), there was a small piece in the Wash Post religion section about McGreevy starting the process of becoming an Episcopal priest.

    :-)

  88. 88.

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    May 6, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Hardly. In case you haven’t noticed, there is quite a lot of division among Americans. I don’t think a compromise is possible between the polar opposites of the spectrum

    Yeah, but most of that difference is over whether to conquer the world or not. Once the world is conquered, I’m sure the moonbats will shut up and let America be America.

  89. 89.

    Mark

    May 8, 2007 at 9:09 pm

    Compare the Dem debate with the GOP debate. Brian William’s questions were loaded and often hostile. Matthews, on the other hand, asked the Republicans softball quesions. He even asked them if they think it would be good to have “big Bill” back in the White House, of course giving the candidates ample opportunity to bash Bill and Hillary. When will the Democats demand that this shit has to STOP!

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Image by ? (6/17/25)

Recent Comments

  • WaterGirl on Open Thread: Tim Walz Is A Good Leader & A Good Man (Jun 17, 2025 @ 10:04pm)
  • Jay on Open Thread: Tim Walz Is A Good Leader & A Good Man (Jun 17, 2025 @ 10:04pm)
  • WaterGirl on Open Thread: Tim Walz Is A Good Leader & A Good Man (Jun 17, 2025 @ 10:03pm)
  • Sally on Open Thread: Tim Walz Is A Good Leader & A Good Man (Jun 17, 2025 @ 10:01pm)
  • Jeffro on Open Thread: Tim Walz Is A Good Leader & A Good Man (Jun 17, 2025 @ 9:59pm)

Personality Crisis Podcast (Cole, DougJ, mistermix)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!