• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

After roe, women are no longer free.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Consistently wrong since 2002

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

I really should read my own blog.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Site Maintenance / Blog Rating

Blog Rating

by John Cole|  September 1, 20078:03 pm| 40 Comments

This post is in: Site Maintenance

FacebookTweetEmail

In case you were wondering. Although I am thinking if I create a post or two discussing hot gay ass sex, fisting, gloryholes, and what not to try and see if we can pump up the rating a bit. Maybe discussing marijuana, cocaine, heroin, sodomy, and oral sex will push it up to X.

*** Update ***

Still an R. Let’s try the seven dirty words.

“Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.”

*** Update ***

Mission Accomplished!

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « The Greatest SNL Clip Ever
Next Post: What a Day »

Reader Interactions

40Comments

  1. 1.

    myiq2xu

    September 1, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    Maybe discussing marijuana, cocaine, heroin, sodomy, and oral sex will pus hit up to X.

    Can we skip the pus?

  2. 2.

    myiq2xu

    September 1, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    If you want to turn this into a sick disgusting blog I’m all for it but you better sign Dreggas up as a guest blogger.

  3. 3.

    Stephen

    September 1, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK EAT COCK

  4. 4.

    Comrad Mattski

    September 1, 2007 at 9:05 pm

    Hell Damn Fart!!!!

  5. 5.

    Ripley

    September 1, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    Heavens to Cornflakes!

  6. 6.

    Ripley

    September 1, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    err.. I meant… umm… Holy Hellfuck, Shitman!!

    Also, John, could you get these motherfuckin’ snakes off this motherfuckin’ blog?!?

  7. 7.

    ThymeZone

    September 1, 2007 at 9:40 pm

    Reading this blog is now a crime at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport.

  8. 8.

    Warren Terra

    September 1, 2007 at 9:47 pm

    Surely this thread cannot be complete without a link to a George Carlin Dirty Words Video.

    Surely.

  9. 9.

    Fred

    September 1, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    Let me try. POO. Hee hee, twitter twitter.

  10. 10.

    Tim in SF

    September 1, 2007 at 10:02 pm

    Sheesh. My blog has an NC-17 rating from one single post, my 2006 burning man review.

    Why is “death” or “dead” words that get your rating up beyond what a 16-year-old should be exposed to? Aren’t 40 million children uninsured? They are closer to death than I’d like to think.

  11. 11.

    TrishB

    September 1, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    Hmm, lemme remember what I called the ex a few months back: stupid motherfucking goat sodomizing bull fellating donkey felching son of a bitch. Does that get you into the right category?

  12. 12.

    Halffasthero

    September 1, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    I will definitely not be able to read this blog at work. Our lan monitors are pretty nasty.

  13. 13.

    Warren Terra

    September 1, 2007 at 10:44 pm

    As someone who likes to think that I have vast sympathies with others, I feel that Halffasthero presents a valid reason to conclude that we should all strive to avoid the superfluous use of profanity.

  14. 14.

    rawshark

    September 1, 2007 at 10:58 pm

    Comrad Mattski Says:

    Hell Damn Fart!

    LMAO

  15. 15.

    DonkeyKong

    September 1, 2007 at 11:58 pm

    You forgot Carlin’s

    Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat, 69 faggots tied in a knot. Hooray, lizardshit, FUCK!

    Kind of a tourettes nursery rhyme.

  16. 16.

    Waxmaker

    September 2, 2007 at 12:53 am

    This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

    * hell (4x)
    * suicide (2x)
    * shoot (1x)

    Huh!?

  17. 17.

    Chuck Butcher

    September 2, 2007 at 5:26 am

    Great goobering gobs of gopher guts, my mother reads my blog and disapproves of bad language, I’m supposed to have a better vocabulary than that, she’s 80, I’m 54 and we live 2200 miles apart. I don’t use bad language on my blog, my job sites are another thing…

  18. 18.

    Ted

    September 2, 2007 at 8:13 am

    Dogshit taco.

    -Eric Cartman

  19. 19.

    Halffasthero

    September 2, 2007 at 9:15 am

    I feel that Halffasthero presents a valid reason to conclude that we should all strive to avoid the superfluous use of profanity.

    I am not telling anyone what they can say, just saying that the LAN where I work has monitors that will put people out to pasture faster than you can say “free speech”. Since I have a number of long term bills, my financial instincts will be guiding me accordingly. : )

  20. 20.

    Angry Engineer

    September 2, 2007 at 9:29 am

    Reading this blog is now a crime at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport.

    It’s OK if you use a wide stance.

  21. 21.

    Ted

    September 2, 2007 at 11:04 am

    Tim, I read part of your Burning Man review. Absolutely hilarious. This part made me practically spew coffee:

    As the Burning Man burns, both his arms eventually fall to his side. Curiously, his left arm dropped first, leaving his right arm raised in a straight-armed Nazi salute. At that moment, a spontaneous cheer went up a thousand right arms were raised as one over the smoky playa. Heil hippie! No shit, I have it on film.

  22. 22.

    tom.a

    September 2, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    John Valby said it best:
    Eat bite fuck suck nibble gobble chew,
    Nipple bosom hair pie finger fuck screw.

    Or something like that.

  23. 23.

    JWW

    September 2, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    John,

    I know you currently don’t care for my point of view. But, what is your point here? Do you not have enough and are looking for more? I know the answer! You really don’t need to give the movie industry a rating, just watch primetime commercial sales(pencils, underwear,sport drinks, hell, even garden tools) they all elude to sex. We have allowed this sort of perversion to take place since, “In Living Color” hit the market. Our government could have put an end to it then. Being politically correctness was the option, we, as a nation, looked over that and said okay. As of today, anything goes.

  24. 24.

    Rome Again

    September 2, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    Our government could have put an end to it then. Being politically correctness was the option, we, as a nation, looked over that and said okay. As of today, anything goes.

    How has our current culture effected you personally? How has In Living Color impacted your own personal circumstances?

    Our current culture hasn’t effected me either negatively or positively. I am a tolerant person who doesn’t believe it’s my business to tell other people how to live their lives, and I really detest self-righteousness in those who can’t seem to keep their nose out of other people’s business. So, tell me, how exactly has your life been effected? I’d like examples, please.

  25. 25.

    ThymeZone

    September 2, 2007 at 6:09 pm

    Being politically correctness was the option, we, as a nation, looked over that and said okay. As of today, anything goes we are still free to speak as we see fit and mostly tell the government, and the crybabies who think they need to protect us from our own language, to go fuck themselves very much.

    I didn’t fix the really lousy grammatical construction, but I took care of the content.

  26. 26.

    Nikki

    September 2, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    JWW,

    You are a huge ass crybaby. What the hell does a blog rating have to do with the downfall-of-society spiel you’re shoveling now?

  27. 27.

    JWW

    September 2, 2007 at 6:30 pm

    Kinda like this,

    A new era of TV, not cable or satellite. We always complain about censor when it involves children and TV. Even though the child watches a movie, he or she is subject to the commercials. There are not many individual product commercials today that don’t deal in some way with fame or sex. Yeah, we can speak freely, we can confirm or oppose positions. In Living Color, would never have been on open air TV, if it were a white program. (don’t come back) with a racial thing to me, I will bury you and your arguement. Thats not me! SORRY

  28. 28.

    ThymeZone

    September 2, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    I will bury you and your arguement

    I hope you are banging your shoe on the table when you say that.

  29. 29.

    Rome Again

    September 2, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    A new era of TV, not cable or satellite. We always complain about censor when it involves children and TV. Even though the child watches a movie, he or she is subject to the commercials. There are not many individual product commercials today that don’t deal in some way with fame or sex. Yeah, we can speak freely, we can confirm or oppose positions. In Living Color, would never have been on open air TV, if it were a white program. (don’t come back) with a racial thing to me, I will bury you and your arguement. Thats not me! SORRY

    first of all, you really aren’t making any sense in the way you are describing this, and unless you are a child, you are not telling me how this personally effects YOU.

    What has the current culture done to YOU exactly?

  30. 30.

    Rome Again

    September 2, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    What exactly is it about In Living Color that would have prevented it from being aired?

    What is it about commercials that you have such a problem with? Sexual suggestion? Sex sells, perhaps you shouldn’t buy anything that is sold on television if you don’t want to get caught up in that ploy. What is it about sexual suggestion on television that bothers you? We are all sexual beings to one degree or another, and I would venture a guess that humanity was much more sexual before religion got a hold of our behavior and played their mind game that made us feel guilty about sexual pleasure. Study the animal world, they have no guilt, and that is what we were meant to be. I would suggest religious piety is what ruined the natural way of things. You fall into the trap of believing repression is good because society says it’s good. You follow the way of conventional thinking, I do not. I would rather be an uninhibited animal with sexual freedom than to be a repressed and pious individual.

    It’s your own guilt at being a sexual mammal who should be free to be sexual that makes you want to change others behavior. Now, am I suggesting that child molesters should be free to do as they wish or such? No, I am not – children should not be subject to sexual expectations, but neither should they be totally censored from learning about love and sex from their culture. The culture you want them to grow up in would give them no information at all, and would only teach them that sex is wrong and dirty.

    Children learn about sex in many different places, and in your presence they would learn that sex is bad and should be repressed. You are doing no favors by believing that repression is a good thing. Get off your pious high horse and recognize that piety is the enemy of natural behavior.

  31. 31.

    Jinchi

    September 2, 2007 at 9:42 pm

    You’re trying too hard.

    All you need for an NC-17 is multiple references to Dick Cheney.

    Which actually makes a lot of sense.

  32. 32.

    bago

    September 2, 2007 at 11:32 pm

    You do realize that BM isn’t particularly hippie oriented, as evidenced by the Thunderdome, where people fight mad max style int a large dome suspended by bungees.

    There is a lot of ironic jokes played the whole time, like people busting out cones and blocking off the Esplenade and claiming that there is construction work going on, but because they are union the workers are all drinking beer while getting in everyone’s way.

    Also, my friends did a camp where they played this little hardcore track “I wanna be a hippie, so I can get stoned” over 80 times in a row. One camp nearby packed up and moved, and finally a riot ensued and they took the mp3 player. Fortunately there was a CD and a second riot formed and the took the speakers.

    Everything was returned later, but it was funny as hell to have a hippie riot invading a clown camp to stop playing a cetain song.

    And if you think that an 80 foot replica of Duchamp’s urinal or a Life Sized Mousetrap game are crappy art, or the chandelier that fell out of the sky and was electrocuting people that touched it, then you just don’t appreciate art.

    Sure, in a city of 40,000 people you get all kinds, from your earnest hippie picking up cigarette butts off of the playa to your super-jaded DPW crew bemanding all of your drugs and booze.

    Nut the point is you come to do something you will never see anywhere else in the world, Like a human sized hampster wheel that when ran caused a 20 foot sculpture to pick its nose.

    The last time I went was to help burn down the temple David Best made as a memorial to my friends that were shot in the Seattle Capitol Hill Massacre.

    It’s an event that is both sill frivolous and absurd, yet entirely temporary, as it is the third largest city in Nevada for one week only. However you have so much more freedom there that you can walk around naked with a flamethrower and chant celtic songs if you want. High tech engineering in adverse conditions and it has to be built on site. When you stand back and watch a steampunk powered vehicle drive by a fire breahthing dragon, or stand 1/4 of a mile away from a dance stage and watch as a series of strobe lights flash when they hear the beat, efectively visualizing the soundwave as it travels, you have to be amazed.

    The focus of your rant seems to be “These aren’t the hippies you’re looking for”. Well guess what tim, it’s not 1960 any more either.

  33. 33.

    mclaren

    September 3, 2007 at 2:14 am

    “Rated NC-17” No Congressmen who have molested less than 17 pages are alloewd to condemn this blog.

  34. 34.

    MonkeyBoy

    September 3, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    Bong Hits 4 Jesus

    uh oh. Now there is somebody on your site advocating drug use.

  35. 35.

    Dreggas

    September 4, 2007 at 10:31 am

    myiq2xu Says:

    If you want to turn this into a sick disgusting blog I’m all for it but you better sign Dreggas up as a guest blogger.

    Hey now, I am a perfectly innocent angel!

  36. 36.

    Psycheout

    September 4, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    This is nonsense. We don’t allow profanity on our site and still got NC-17 based on the following words:

    death (13x), murder (5x), hell (4x), abortion (2x), dick (1x)

    Give me a break. One can’t talk about the Vice President without using his name.

  37. 37.

    Dreggas

    September 4, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    Psycheout Says:

    Give me a break. One can’t talk about the Vice President without using his name the best adjective describing him, which just happens to be his name.

    Fixed.

  38. 38.

    EJ

    September 4, 2007 at 2:11 pm

    Uh oh, you’re back to “R”.

    I’ll see what I can do:

    blowjob c#nt cock hell fart motherfucker orgy abortion hashish

  39. 39.

    Dreggas

    September 4, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    cock sucking mother fucking two balled bitch.

    sperm burping gutter slut.

    fuck you, you fucking fuck!

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Gay Orbit » This Blog is Rated says:
    September 2, 2007 at 7:14 am

    […] Still PG-13. It worked for John when he used the words “Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucking, motherfucker, tits”      […]

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • Hildebrand on SunBund Report: Squeaky Wheels Edition (Mar 28, 2023 @ 12:07pm)
  • kindness on SunBund Report: Squeaky Wheels Edition (Mar 28, 2023 @ 12:05pm)
  • Soprano2 on American Has Turned Upside Down (Mar 28, 2023 @ 12:03pm)
  • schrodingers_cat on SunBund Report: Squeaky Wheels Edition (Mar 28, 2023 @ 12:03pm)
  • JML on American Has Turned Upside Down (Mar 28, 2023 @ 12:03pm)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!