• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

We still have time to mess this up!

The words do not have to be perfect.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Second Awarding of the Golden McPenis

Second Awarding of the Golden McPenis

by John Cole|  August 24, 200811:47 am| 118 Comments

This post is in: Did You Know John McCain Was A POW?, Mainstream Media's McCain Mancrush

FacebookTweetEmail

Mark Halperin has outdone himself today, claiming that the McCain housing gaffe is bad for Obama.

No. Seriously:

For service to the cause, it is with much pride that I award you the Second Golden McPenis, for meritorious service to McCain’s scrotum. Well done, Mark. You earned it.

Congratulations.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « When Rats F**K, Apparently the Females Are On Top
Next Post: Open Thread »

Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    TR

    August 24, 2008 at 11:49 am

    When Cokie and George S. are openly scoffing at you, you know you’ve outdone yourself. What a fucking idiot.

  2. 2.

    Davis X. Machina

    August 24, 2008 at 11:50 am

    Halperin: fellacious, or fallacious? Fallacious, or fellacious?

    It’s so hard to make the call….

  3. 3.

    Jake

    August 24, 2008 at 11:55 am

    He’s either a pure schill for Team McCain, or simply not that bright (or both). At least his nonsense got a little pushback from the other folks on the panel. Still, Cokie concludes by saying that it’s a close election and so of course all this kind of stuff is going to be used. Of course. Because everyone knows they wouldn’t be used in an election that wasn’t close. Christ she’s dumb.

    Such a transparent line from Team McCain. They’re just looking for excuses to use all kinds of crap against Obama. “Well we really don’t want to use this stuff, because, you know, John’s an honorable POW, but the Obama campaign is really forcing our hand here.”

    I think we can anticipate a new stunt each day this week from Team McCain, to try to get equal coverage on the nets. Look for them to release a new attack ad each day, picking on whichever convention speaker utters anything that could be remotely considered a slight.

  4. 4.

    maxbaer (not the original)

    August 24, 2008 at 11:59 am

    It would have been hard for John McCain given how he said he was going to run this campaign.

    It’s too bad that Barack has forced McPOW to go negative.

  5. 5.

    smiley

    August 24, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Just shows you how much real damage the McCain camp thinks housegate has done. Good. Keep at it Team Obama. Halperin is clearly in the tank for McCain.

  6. 6.

    GSD

    August 24, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    Halperin not only deserves the Golden McPenis for that performance, he also deserves several Oak Leaf Clusterfucks.

    That was some audacious McBush fluffery.

    -GSD

  7. 7.

    anne

    August 24, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Yeah, it’s pretty much everything IS EXCELLENT NEWS!… FOR JOHN MCCAIN!!

  8. 8.

    Barbar

    August 24, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Halperin is a graduate of Harvard College.

  9. 9.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 24, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    Doesn’t the “look what you made me do” argument kind of undercut McCain’s image as an iron-willed POW? Just askin’.

  10. 10.

    Jake

    August 24, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    Halperin is a graduate of Harvard College.

    So is Bill Kristol. Apparently that school’s a douchebag magnet.

  11. 11.

    NR

    August 24, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Josh Marshall had the best response to this I’ve seen:

    It’s like a comic parody of the mentality I described a few days ago. Don’t get in McCain’s face because it’ll just be so much worse for you if you. By God, just keep your head down and try to muddle through! If you’re nice maybe he won’t hit you.

  12. 12.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 24, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    OTOH, Frank Rich in NYT, Last Call for Change We Can Believe In

    …Is a man who is just discovering the Internet qualified to lead a restoration of America’s economic and educational infrastructures? Is the leader of a virtually all-white political party America’s best salesman and moral avatar in the age of globalization? Does a bellicose Vietnam veteran who rushed to hitch his star to the self-immolating overreaches of Ahmad Chalabi, Pervez Musharraf and Mikheil Saakashvili have the judgment to keep America safe?

    R.I.P., “Change We Can Believe In.” The fierce urgency of the 21st century demands Change Before It’s Too Late.

  13. 13.

    Jim Henley

    August 24, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Mark Halperin needs to realize that, Bush-lawyer apologetics aside, brainboarding is torture. Stop brainboarding me, Mark Halperin!

  14. 14.

    NewUnansweredQuestions

    August 24, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    First, the McCains remind us that we have to count the Hanoi Hilton first among the array of McCain homes that are important here.

    Second, I confer the First And Maybe Last TZ Award for Meritorious Use of a Golden Phallus in a Graphic Presentation in a Political Blog.

    Kudos. This is fine work, and I tip the TZ cap to you.

  15. 15.

    Robert M.

    August 24, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    Consider the application of Halperin’s logic to McCain’s foreign policy:

    France has viciously, and with malice aforethought, been failing to attack the US for centuries. And now, after all that provocation, their so-called “President” has repeated an embarrassing thing McCain said last week. What are our first-strike options?

  16. 16.

    dr. bloor

    August 24, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    Halperin is a typical case of a guy who’s not all that clever to begin with trying to be too clever by half, which results in…I dunno, 3/8ths clever? In this particular case, he’s also trying to prove how big his journalistic penis is by being boldly contrarian.

    That quick shot of Cokie’s reaction is priceless–“I can’t believe there’s someone dumber that I am sitting at this table.”

  17. 17.

    NewUnansweredQuestions

    August 24, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    Christ she’s dumb.

    This is called Damning With Faint Praise.

    But actually, this remark is a Slap In The Face to all dumb people. She’s not just dumb, she’s Olympic Gold Dumb.

  18. 18.

    smiley

    August 24, 2008 at 12:34 pm

    OT. Sorry but I’ve gotten hooked on reading the stupid over at TalkLeft (I blame John). From comments:

    I’d respect Hillery more if she gave them all [democrats] a big fat raspberry. Really, is she that much of a joiner? Is belonging to the “party” worth sacrificing her dignity?

  19. 19.

    The Other Steve

    August 24, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Send feedback to ABC.

    Nothing rude, just point out that halperin is an embarassment and a joke.

  20. 20.

    Darkness

    August 24, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    God, I love that trophy. As much as I would like to peer at its amusing aspect more often, thanks for keeping it in reserve and maintaining its integrity.

    With a trophy like that, integrity is key.

    Halperin is a graduate of Harvard College.
    So is Bill Kristol. Apparently that school’s a douchebag magnet.

    You must move in very livable circles. I discovered this eons ago. And, frankly, anywhere Bush II got a degree is a useless pust-oozing scab on the backside of higher education.

    “Oh, I went to Yale.”

    “Ah, they gave Bush a degree. So, I should trust your credentials . . . why?”

    Come to think of it McSame may have caught on from Bush I in terms of furtherance of his offspring’s future, by paying extra big bucks to their private schools to grease the way for them.

  21. 21.

    Jake

    August 24, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    Some of us should sockpuppet and see how far off the stupid ledge we can walk the folks over at TalkLeft. Let’s face it, we’ve no chance of convincing them they’re wrong, so we might as well have some fun and go the other way.

    Someone should suggest, for example, that this whole thing got started when NASA decided to fake the moon landing.

  22. 22.

    jrg

    August 24, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    Shorter Halperin:

    “The fact that McCain does not know how many houses he owns is great news for McCain, because otherwise I never would have taken this opportunity to mention Rezco or Wright.”

    See? Even when the GOP engages in racist BS and guilt by association, it’s still the Dem’s fault.

    I’d like to take this moment to remind everyone that John Kerry’s war record would have never have been attacked had he not run for president as a Democrat.

  23. 23.

    smiley

    August 24, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    Some of us should sockpuppet and see how far off the stupid ledge we can walk the folks over at TalkLeft. Let’s face it, we’ve no chance of convincing them they’re wrong, so we might as well have some fun and go the other way.

    Go for it. Unfortunately, however, after they go over the stupid ledge they’d land on the batshit crazy ledge that is NOQUARTER. I refuse to click on links to that site anymore.

  24. 24.

    DougJ

    August 24, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    Do you guys ever read back issues of The Note (when Halperin was writing it)? Some of the stuff is just amazing:

    Here’s a personal favorite (describing an answer Bush gave to a question at a presser in January 2006:

    In short: faith, family friends; daughters and dogs; Lincoln had it rough and/but I’m no Lincoln; change the tone; no pain, no gain; my knees are like tires; mountain biking — good; priorities and perspective.

    That is the kind of answer and vision that will get a man’s approval rating back over 53% any day now.

    What’s remarkable is that someone this dumb is so familiar with obscure Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello lyrics.

  25. 25.

    DougJ

    August 24, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Sorry I forgot the link. LINK.

  26. 26.

    jake

    August 24, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    [Wipes grape juice off monitor]

    Awesome. You might want to go ahead and make a new tag for Journalistic Integrity, Service & Merit, John. It’s going to get worse. Much worse.

    I’d respect Hillery more if she gave them all [democrats] a big fat raspberry.

    With a bit more respect the poster will even spell her name correctly. Damn people, leave them rats alone.

  27. 27.

    rob!

    August 24, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    do the kneepads Mark Halperin uses have the McCain ’08 logo on them?

  28. 28.

    Dreggas

    August 24, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    You know what irritates me. I visited the vietnam memorial in washington when I was a kid. I bought a POW/MIA t-shirt to support the vets. It was one of the few times I saw my father get teary eyed (he’s a Vietnam vet too). McCain has so cheapened the memory of the 55k + names on that wall with his Hanoi Hilton shit that he should be tied to a pole and bitch slapped by every Vietnam Vet still alive.

  29. 29.

    DougJ

    August 24, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Halperin is a graduate of Harvard College.
    So is Bill Kristol. Apparently that school’s a douchebag magnet.

    I went there and the place is most certainly a douchebag magnet. I’m not even sure “magnet” captures how powerfully it pulls douchebags in.

  30. 30.

    Libby

    August 24, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    Warning: Blogwhore because I’m too lazy to get the link directly to the video. The Jed Report keeps putting on the hits. Meet Mr. McMansion.

  31. 31.

    sparky

    August 24, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    i think ABC rather than Halperin deserves the award. after all, they are paying him.

    Halperin’s just doing what courtiers have been doing since, oh, forever: flattering his owners, bamboozling the public.

    besides, awards like this will only encourage further relentless lickery. sad when you see so many bright people think the way to get ahead is to continue to lick someone else’s whatever.

  32. 32.

    Singularity

    August 24, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    What’s remarkable is that someone this dumb is so familiar with obscure Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello lyrics.

    Sadly, for a lot of his generation (and mine), that sort of pop-culture awareness is what passes for intellectual acuity. It’s what happens when people watch Kevin Smith movies and read “High Fidelity” and mistake witty for wise. It’s good to know all the words to “Allison” but it doesn’t make you Mencken.

  33. 33.

    DougJ

    August 24, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Sadly, for a lot of his generation (and mine), that sort of pop-culture awareness is what passes for intellectual acuity. It’s what happens when people watch Kevin Smith movies and read “High Fidelity” and mistake witty for wise. It’s good to know all the words to “Allison” but it doesn’t make you Mencken.

    Did you just wander in here from the University of Chicago Committee on Social Thought or something?

  34. 34.

    evap

    August 24, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    Even Georgie Boy was taken aback by Halperin’s comments. And was it just Halperin, or did Cokie actually sound less idiotic than usual?

  35. 35.

    Libby

    August 24, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Oh, and just a stray thought, but shouldn’t wankery like Halperin’s get some kind of limp dick award? Your trophy, which is beautiful, is almost too good for him.

  36. 36.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 24, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    McCain has so cheapened the memory of the 55k + names on that wall with his Hanoi Hilton shit that he should be tied to a pole and bitch slapped by every Vietnam Vet still alive.

    Where do I sign? Are you going to start a separate sign-up for those vets of Iraq and Afghanistan? McCain has been writing a lot of checks on their service while attempting to deny them benefits with his Senate votes.

  37. 37.

    Michael57

    August 24, 2008 at 1:42 pm

    In fairness to fair Harvard, I believe a Senator Obama spent some time there as well.

    Douchebags are found everywhere. Harvard is only relevant ot Halperin because you don’t necessarily associate stupidity with the Ivies, that’s all.

  38. 38.

    The Dangerman

    August 24, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    I swear, I was watching, and the moment George Will started talking, I hit the mute and didn’t hear this shit live. What a fucking idiot.

    It’s coming. Team Obama is going to say something about something about, say, diversity and Team McCain is going to respond by yelling “N***er” and then blame Team Obama for making them do it.

  39. 39.

    Mr. Tactful

    August 24, 2008 at 1:48 pm

    Hey, I found out the REAL reason Obama chose Biden:

    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2067218/posts

    Thank God for FreeRepublic.

  40. 40.

    myiq2xu

    August 24, 2008 at 1:56 pm

    Some of us should sockpuppet and see how far off the stupid ledge we can walk the folks

    Isn’t that the purpose of this place?

  41. 41.

    Tim (The Other One)

    August 24, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    “Halperin is a graduate of Harvard College.”

    So much for that Ivy League “bump” !

  42. 42.

    Jake

    August 24, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    myiq2xu Says:

    Isn’t that the purpose of this place?

    Oh goody, the resident asshat makes an appearance.

  43. 43.

    colleeniem

    August 24, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    Speaking of stupid, when I listened to some Repubs talking today, (Tim Paulenty (sp?) and Arlen Specter), defending McCain, they both brought up McCain’s experience as a POW being the hardship that defines him, and how that experience makes him able to connect to the common man.
    This is beyond self-parody. This a full-blown meme gone deliciously haywire.

  44. 44.

    wobbly

    August 24, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    Jeez, not one of these candidates EVER attended a public high school, let alone graduated from one.

    All hot house plants.

  45. 45.

    smiley

    August 24, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    Sorry to go OT again in this thread but there’s another pro Obama music video out by Dave Stewart. Claims it’s not an endorsement. Yeah right.

  46. 46.

    Joshua Norton

    August 24, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    they both brought up McCain’s experience as a POW being the hardship that defines him,

    Why? According to all of them, nothing that happened to him was “torture”. Just a little frat hazing. Their definition, not mine.

  47. 47.

    Ninerdave

    August 24, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    do the kneepads Mark Halperin uses have the McCain ‘08 logo on them?

    Halprin doesn’t need knee pads, his knees are toughened up from years of slurping on the current presidential p*nis (don’t wanna get modded!).

    He had the logo tattooed directly onto his knee cap.

  48. 48.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    August 24, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    they both brought up McCain’s experience as a POW being the hardship that defines him, and how that experience makes him able to connect to the common man.

    His guards in the Hanoi Hilton were common men – it’s hard to imagine he took a shine to the “common man” as a result.

    The logical deduction is that he want to “connect” with the common man alright dontcha know – he wants to kill us all.

    Except for the ones who draw crosses in the dirt. They get a free pass.

  49. 49.

    bufoboreas

    August 24, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Halprin is very deserving of the prestigious McPenis. However, let’s not forget George Will in the segment before the one posted. George decided with regard to Homegate that the all Presidential candidates are wealthy and it is time to move on. He apparently forgot that we only move on when a Republican is dinged for hypocrisy and the big lie. We only move on after we all know that Edwards has a 24,000 sq/ft home and therefore, can’t talk about poverty, that Gore can’t talk about energy because he has a 10,000 sq/ft home, Kerry is a kept Frenchman etc, that Obama can’t talk about anything because he is a smartypants argula eating, latte drinking elitist. Now that people are hearing about McCain’s cappucinos, ferragamos, his prenup etc, its time to focus on the issues. By the way, did you know he was a POW?

  50. 50.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 24, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Who among us hasn’t confessed to waging germ warfare?

  51. 51.

    dave

    August 24, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    The Other Steve: Thanks for the link. I took a brief break and left a comment there. It probably won’t do much good…after all, how long have we been politely pointing out that Halperin, in a just world, couldn’t get a job with “MY Weekly Reader”, and yet, there he is, week after week, on The Mouse Network’s flagship Sunday yak show. Still, as many as possible need to write in, if only to show the network suits that their Sunday morning audience isn’t just composed of comatose victims of Saturday night’s binge drinking.

  52. 52.

    Maxwel

    August 24, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    How about fellacious fluffery.

  53. 53.

    J. Michael Neal

    August 24, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    you don’t necessarily associate stupidity with the Ivies

    You clearly haven’t dealt with enough people from Dartmouth Faber College.

  54. 54.

    Jon H

    August 24, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    “In fairness to fair Harvard, I believe a Senator Obama spent some time there as well.”

    The mileage definitely varies. Kristol got his BA and PhD from there. Bush got an MBA there. Even Susan fucking Estrich edited the law review.

    On the other hand, the students, professors, and postdocs I work with at the medical school are sharper than hell.

  55. 55.

    Glen

    August 24, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    John,

    Your handsome statue should go for good fellatio. Halpern’s performance was more like the, “Ow! Jebus! Get off my d**k you clumsy whore!” variety.

  56. 56.

    Jon H

    August 24, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    Halpern’s statue should feature a Candiru fish.

  57. 57.

    pansypoo

    August 24, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    kookie didn’t agree with him?!?!?

  58. 58.

    jake

    August 24, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    they both brought up McCain’s experience as a POW being the hardship that defines him, and how that experience makes him able to connect to the common man.

    Most people come by empathy naturally. John McCain had it beaten into him with a rubber hose.

    What.
    The.
    Tap-dancing.
    Pyrotechnic.
    Fuck?

    Yes, I know there are Americans who have absolutely shitty lives but unless I’ve missed something it isn’t common for Americans to be treated like POWs during Vietnam. I thought the thing about being a POW (or at least a POW named John McCain) was it was an unusual experience that no one could possibly really understand unless they’d experienced the same thing. Sort of laying in the crypt for three days. Now we learn that being a POW is just like struggling to pay the bills. Or something. Anyway, being a POW trumps the heiress wife and more houses than one can count. Vote McCain, he’s just like you, DON’T ASK QUESTIONS, YOU’LL INSULT THE POW!

    Holy fuck. I can’t wait until McCain tells a group of pregnant women that he understands hard labour or that nine months of being unable to move around is nothing. He once spent five years being unable to move around!

  59. 59.

    Libby

    August 24, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    I believe I read that there were 600 other POWs. As Avedon pointed out the other day, if that’s the criteria, we should start vetting them. There’s bound to be a few who are much better candidates than McInsane.

  60. 60.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 24, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    “Ow! Jebus! Get off my d**k you clumsy whore!”

    hehe

  61. 61.

    abiodun

    August 24, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    Jake-
    I’ll take both:
    1-the guy is not that bright
    2- He is a McCain shill

  62. 62.

    Davis X. Machina

    August 24, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    “

    Ow! Jebus! Get off my d**k you clumsy whore!”

    Comparative linguists might want to note how strongly typed English is for word order, since “Ow! Jebus! Get my d**k off, you clumsy whore!” is a completely different sentence, by virtue of moving just one word just one space in sequence.

    (See, children, this is why grad school is a very, very bad thing…)

  63. 63.

    PeterJ

    August 24, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    I believe I read that there were 600 other POWs.

    600? Forget about just the presidency. We should fill all the top spots in the three branches with former POWs.
    Nine for the Supreme Court, 535 for Congress, and lets say 25 for the presidency.
    And there might even be enough left to replace some of the media bobbleheads.

  64. 64.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 24, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    Comparative linguists

    Yawn.

  65. 65.

    chopper

    August 24, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    BTW, people don’t seem to remember that mcthuselah was pimping the POW creds far earlier in the year. from a GOP debate in january:

    JANET HOOK, LA TIMES: What makes you more qualified than Mitt Romney, a successful CEO and businessman, to manage our economy?

    (note: the question is about the economy. ECONOMY.)

    JOHN MCCAIN: Because I know how to lead. I know how to lead.

    I led the largest squadron in the United States Navy. And I did it out of patriotism, not for profit.

    And I can hire lots of managers, but leadership is a quality that people look for.

    And I have the vision and the knowledge and the background to take on the transcendent issue of the 21st century, which is radical Islamic extremism. I’ve been involved in every single major national security crisis since — in the last 20 years. I’m proud to have played a role in those, and I’m proud to have played a role in making sure that we didn’t raise the white flag and surrender in Iraq, as the Democrats wanted us to do and we would have done if we had set timetables for a withdrawal.

    So, the fact is — so the fact is that I have the qualifications and the knowledge and the background and the judgment. I don’t need any on-the-job training.

    I had the great honor of serving this country in uniform for 22 years.

    I had the great honor of being inspired while I was in the prison camps of North Vietnam by the news of a governor and his wife who cared very much about those of us who were in captivity.

    And when I came home, I was inspired by him, and I voted for him, and I supported him, and I was proud to be a leader in the Reagan revolution — I mean, a foot soldier in the Reagan revolution, as we fought these wars together with unshakable courage and principle. And I’m prepared to follow in his tradition and in his footsteps.

    so let me translate: POW. POW. POW. islam is scary. the democrats are traitors. POW. reagan is teh awesome, and also POW.

  66. 66.

    Heshe

    August 24, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    Don’t forget to dip the award in shit before you send it.

  67. 67.

    harlana pepper

    August 24, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    That was pure delusional gibberish.

  68. 68.

    John McCain

    August 24, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    Umm.. John McCain’s you know what is a lot smaller and wrinklier than the one on that gold award. :D

  69. 69.

    smiley

    August 24, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    I believe I read that there were 600 other POWs. As Avedon pointed out the other day, if that’s the criteria, we should start vetting them.

    Don’t remember where I got this (maybe here, maybe Avedon) but check this out.

  70. 70.

    harlana pepper

    August 24, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    Apparently, Ron Fournier is a Harvard man of sorts.

  71. 71.

    Jake

    August 24, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    JOHN MCCAIN: Because I know how to lead. I know how to lead.

    He seems to have this tendency to repeat lines. It’s like a little tic he has.

    “I know how to win wars. I know how to win wars.”

    It’s a dead giveaway that he’s lying through his yellow, POWed teeth.

  72. 72.

    Rick

    August 24, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    It’s time to resurrect the long ignored KEATING FIVE SCANDAL, and McCain’s slap-in-the-face discipline issued by his peers in the U.S. Senate. Kind o’ makes Obama’s supposed ties to Tony Resko seem trivial. St. John has too many exploitable, gaping chinks in his armor to go around throwing his unbearable fits of faux moral indignation. Just another Republican “hero” with clay feet.

  73. 73.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 24, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    I know how to win wars. I know how to win wars.”

    Odd that, since McCain’s contribution to the only war he served in was to get shot down and make propaganda videos for the enemy. Maybe he’s touting his success helping the North Vietnamese drive us out of Vietnam?

  74. 74.

    D0n Camillo

    August 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    For service to the cause, it is with much pride that I award you the Second Golden McPenis

    Who won the first? If it wasn’t Ron Fournier, I hope John is working on sculpting a third McPenis.

  75. 75.

    jake

    August 24, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    Nine for the Supreme Court, 535 for Congress, and lets say 25 for the presidency.

    And one POW to rule them all and in darkness bind them.

  76. 76.

    w vincentz

    August 24, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    If he knows how to “win wars”, “win wars”, how come the “surge” that has been soooo successful (doncha know?), the surge, my friends, that’s been so important to “winning” the “war” (occupation) in Iraq…hey, it worked dammit, so how come there are still about 145,000 US troops there? If they’ve “won”, shouldn’t there be some parades here in the USA?

    On a side note…though I didn’t go to Harvard, do you think that if I shove a five pound bag of russet potatoes up my butt, I can get on tee-vee like Halperin too?

  77. 77.

    KRK

    August 24, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    Have to share a funny comment from this thread at The Field:

    Jason Young:

    Also, the PUMA crowd found a fatal flaw in the Biden pick!

    Funny but if you look at the new logo of bambi, one thing sticks out for me

    O B A M A
    B I D E N

    take a few letters away

    B A M
    D E N

    a little more

    B A
    D

    M E
    N

    now look at the logo again, sticks out like a sore thumb now.

    Looks like Obama just lost the tinfoil hat wearing demographic. I also see “BIB-ADE” and “O DAMN.”

    Though I think a subliminal “O DAMN” might have been intentional.

  78. 78.

    DougJ

    August 24, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    On the other hand, the students, professors, and postdocs I work with at the medical school are sharper than hell.

    Doesn’t mean they’re not douchebags.

  79. 79.

    Jon H

    August 24, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    “Doesn’t mean they’re not douchebags.”

    I don’t consider douchebags to be ‘sharper than hell’.

  80. 80.

    Jon H

    August 24, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    “Doesn’t mean they’re not douchebags.”

    Also, the thing with douchebags is that their lazy douchebaggery eventually dulls whatever mental ability they originally had.

    That kind of laziness might work with the Weekly Standard, NRO, or in dealing with the Texas legislature, but it doesn’t work in neuroscience.

  81. 81.

    rumpole

    August 24, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Doug Feith just got dethroned.

  82. 82.

    t jasper parnell

    August 24, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    OT: John McCain defends himself from charges of carpetbagging in 1982:

    At a 1982 candidates forum, McCain “snapped,” to use his own word, after somebody brought up his residency “for the thousandth time.”

    Here is what he said:

    “Listen, pal. I spent 22 years in the Navy. My grandfather was in the Navy. We in the military service tend to move a lot. We have to live in all parts of the country, all parts of the world. I wish I could have had the luxury, like you, of growing up and living and spending my entire life in a nice place like the first district of Arizona, but I was doing other things. As a matter of fact, when I think about it now, the place I lived longest in my life was Hanoi.”

    See, he never traded on his POW status to overcome legitimate criticism, cause he’s all reticent and manly.

  83. 83.

    LiberalTarian

    August 24, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    OK, watched it.

    So, Mr. Halperin, what will McPOW come back with when the ads start regarding his voting against bills to help veterans or McPOW’s skipping votes altogether on vet issues?

    McCain’s whole “I lived in a box as a POW” does nothing for the hundreds of thousands of vets who have lived in a box under freeways at home in their own country because their government has broken faith with them. Shit, it has only been recently our government admitted the harm that Agent Orange did to exposed soldiers. (Wait, did they actually admit it???) And, what about Iraq’s vets with PTSD? What has McPOW ever done for them???

    Jeez. I can’t get that clip out of my mind. What a bunch of cheeze whiz masquerading as informed comment. :(

  84. 84.

    lampwick

    August 24, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    We’ve all been Prisoners Of W for the past eight years; doesn’t that count for something?

  85. 85.

    LiberalTarian

    August 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Crap. I wish we could edit. :(

  86. 86.

    manahmanah

    August 24, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    KRK-

    OBAMA/BIDEN = BABE DOMAIN

    Its the secret plan to secure women voters.

  87. 87.

    Downpuppy

    August 24, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    McCain – from Vietnam to Bomb bomb bomb Iran – has built his entire career on the notion that bombing is a good thing. Now he switched – will anybody notice?

    (Of course not, but I couldn’t help asking)

  88. 88.

    David

    August 24, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    Shouldn’t there be a “This post is GREAT NEWS for John McCain” tag?

  89. 89.

    dmsilev

    August 24, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    McCain’s whole “I lived in a box as a POW” does nothing for the hundreds of thousands of vets who have lived in a box under freeways at home in their own country because their government has broken faith with them. Shit, it has only been recently our government admitted the harm that Agent Orange did to exposed soldiers. (Wait, did they actually admit it???) And, what about Iraq’s vets with PTSD? What has McPOW ever done for them???

    Preach it.

    And the next time McCain says that he worked with Jim Webb to bring about a new GI Bill, Webb should stand up and say “John McCain is lying. He worked to defeat the new GI Bill, saying that it was too generous to our troops. Then he didn’t even have the guts to show up and vote on the final bill. Now, he’s trying to take credit for something he opposed. Is this John McCain’s idea of straight talk?”

    -dms

  90. 90.

    Will Hunting

    August 24, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    Let’s go up to Hahvad and beat up some smahht kids.

  91. 91.

    Mainieac

    August 24, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    All I want to know is if Obama is going to run aggressive, assholistic ads during the Republican convention like the Republicans are doing for the Democratic convention.

  92. 92.

    Libby

    August 24, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    Don’t remember where I got this (maybe here, maybe Avedon) but check this out.

    That one has been making the rounds Smiley. I saw it. I got a new one today while I was surfing, from 2000 when Rove no doubt doing the oppo for the media. Check this out. Excerpt:

    The instructor added that McCain was “positively one of the weakest students to pass our way, and received consistently poor marks and a number of Dangerous Down grades assigned by more than one instructor. He had no real ability and was clearly out of his element in an airplane, and way over his head even as a junior naval officer.”

    “McCain had roughly 20 hours in combat,” explains Bill Bell, a veteran of Vietnam and chief of the U.S. Office for POW/MIA Affairs — the first official U.S. representative in Vietnam since the 1973 fall of Saigon. “Since McCain got 28 medals,” Bell continues, “that equals out to about a medal-and-a-half for each hour he spent in combat. There were infantry guys — grunts on the ground — who had more than 7,000 hours in combat and I can tell you that there were times and situations where I’m sure a prison cell would have looked pretty good to them by comparison. The question really is how many guys got that number of medals for not being shot down.”

    The guy crashed three planes, ruined another by flying too low and hitting power lines and one exploded on deck. It didn’t say it in this piece, but I feel sure I read somewhere that it happened because he was screwing around instead of taking off like he was supposed to.

    I don’t really want to diminish his service though. He served honorably. It’s just that it wasn’t particularly exemplary or notable. He served, just like thousands of others who probably deserve even more honor than he does. That’s what really pisses me off when he plays the POW card.

  93. 93.

    D-Chance.

    August 24, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    Away in a manger, no crib for His bed… and, yes, K-Lo’s kids are already on it.

  94. 94.

    t jasper parnell

    August 24, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    McCain on the Foreestal:

    For some unknown reason, a plane parked near the carrier’s island, midway up the 1,045-foot flight deck, experienced an “extreme wet start.” This malfunction, comparable to what happens when a cigarette lighter is ignited after having been filled too full, occurs about once a week on attack carriers, but almsot never so severely as as it did yesterday.
    . . .
    No one aboard the Forrestal seemed to know today which plane the missile had hit — but it was probably either the Skyhawk whose cockpit was occupied by Lieut. Comdr. John S. McCain 3d or the one immediately to his right.

    via

  95. 95.

    w vincentz

    August 24, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Sooo…If I get shot down while committing genocide on a civilian population (Hanoi- Operation Rolling Thunder), get captured and later hang “war hero” on myself, can I run for President too?

  96. 96.

    Martin

    August 24, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    So, Mr. Halperin, what will McPOW come back with when the ads start regarding his voting against bills to help veterans or McPOW’s skipping votes altogether on vet issues?

    You know when McCain couldn’t vote on vet issues? When he was a POW held against his will. Are you attacking his service?

    And do you know when he didn’t get any vet benefits? Yep. When he was a POW. And look at him now – almost President. Clearly these benefits are unnecessary.

    See how easy that is? Geez. Get with the program.

  97. 97.

    Wes

    August 24, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    Damn! I miss all the great new features. Who won the first Golden McPenis?

  98. 98.

    Mike G

    August 24, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    That kind of laziness might work with the Weekly Standard, NRO, or in dealing with the Texas legislature, but it doesn’t work in neuroscience.

    The advantage of working in a technical/scientific field is that the proportion of douchebags tends to be lower than in fields like law, politics, management and sales.

    If you’re a fast-talking incompetent, you’ll be found out pretty quickly in a field where you can’t bullshit your way past bad results.

  99. 99.

    zuzu's petals

    August 24, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    And when I came home, I was inspired by him, and I voted for him, and I supported him, and I was proud to be a leader in the Reagan revolution—I mean, a foot soldier in the Reagan revolution, as we fought these wars together with unshakable courage and principle. And I’m prepared to follow in his tradition and in his footsteps.

    Well, except that the Reagans thought you were a scumbag for walking out on your wife and kids.

    LA Times

  100. 100.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 24, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    I led the largest squadron in the United States Navy. And I did it out of patriotism, not for profit.

    McCain commanded VA-174 (Attack Squadron 174) then located at NAS Cecil Field, Florida. The squadron’s job was to train to train pilots and maintenance personnel transitioning to the Navy’s A-7 attack aircraft from the A-4. The squadron did not deploy outside of Cecil Field although detachments were sent for pilot carrier qualification to carriers at sea.

    VA-174 was the Navy’s biggest squadron at the time that McCain commanded it. When McCain took command, the training syllabuses for pilots and maintenance personnel had already been developed, the procedures and the table of organization were in place. McCain took his place in a smoothly running machine.

    In his autobiography, McCain claims that he took bold steps to improve the readiness of the squadron. Here’s an excerpt from an article in the LA Times regarding that claim:

    But those Navy records also cast some doubt on the importance of a claim McCain makes in his autobiography — that he took bold steps to improve the readiness of the squadron. Some of McCain’s contemporaries don’t recall key parts of a management initiative that he describes in that book. And although the squadron was well-run under McCain, it appeared to be no better managed than before he arrived or after he left, according to interviews and records.

    I was in NavAir in the late Sixties and early Seventies. I served a tour with the Brown Water Navy in the Mekong Delta. McCain is one of the small number of Naval Aviators who were known as asshole pilots – not because of their personalities but because they were careless and thoughtless. McCain has wrapped himself in the mantle of the POW. Fine, except that there were over 600 other Vietnam war POW’s, all of whom were tortured and most of whom did not find it necessary to confess to practicing germ warfare or other atrocities.

  101. 101.

    jake

    August 24, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    Also, the PUMA crowd found a fatal flaw in the Biden pick!

    People who supposedly support someone with the last name of Clinton should just shut the hell up.

  102. 102.

    Bootlegger

    August 24, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    That stuff on military.com is just too much. If The Whippersnapper were so inclined he could so easily throw McCain under the swiftboat (excuse the mixed methaphors). But I think this is one punch he won’t throw, instead it seems he actually does more damage by not throwing it when evyeone knows he can.

  103. 103.

    xephyr

    August 24, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    Mark Halperin, what a lying sack of unpatriotic crap. A pox on his house.

  104. 104.

    HRA

    August 24, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Other POWs were imprisoned a lot longer than McCain. One of them has written about his being at the Naval Academy with him and already having been in the Hanoi Hilton 3 years before McCain was brought there. BTW, he was not the only one there longer than McCain. Yes, the POW usage is getting on a lot of people’s nerves.
    As for Halperin, I knew he was a McCain supporter the first time I saw him on MSNBC. All I can say is if McCain stops too quickly they will have to remove Halperin out surgically.

  105. 105.

    jbarntt

    August 24, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    Dear John Cole,

    Even the Democratic Underground seldom gets to the idiocy of your post.

    McCain’s scrotum

    Are you serious ? Your post would argue against it. In fact your post would argue that you are a partisan hack without a single brain cell.

    Good God man, come to your senses.

    Your interest in McCain’s private parts is interesting; it says something about you, but nothing about him.

  106. 106.

    Delia

    August 24, 2008 at 10:56 pm

    Well, except that the Reagans thought you were a scumbag for walking out on your wife and kids.

    He couldn’t help being a scumbag. He’d been a POW, you know.

  107. 107.

    sarsipius

    August 25, 2008 at 12:05 am

    lampwick Says:
    We’ve all been Prisoners Of W for the past eight years; doesn’t that count for something?

    Win.

  108. 108.

    TenguPhule

    August 25, 2008 at 12:33 am

    jbarntt Says: McCain’s scrotum

    That’s between you and Fuckstain, jbarntt.

  109. 109.

    cmorenc

    August 25, 2008 at 4:21 am

    Douchebags are found everywhere. Harvard is only relevant ot Halperin because you don’t necessarily associate stupidity with the Ivies, that’s all.

    George W. Bush is an Ivy (Yale undergrad, Harvard MBA) but OTOH he got into both programs back in the era when being a legacy (Yale) and having powerful family connections (Harvard) were far more potent forces toward overcoming otherwise mediocre qualificatons and intellect. IN SHORT back forty years ago, the Ivies had an affirmative action program for stupid people from powerful families, the better to support the endowment with.

    Nowdays there still is something of an a.a. program for bright kids with connections – but in an age when the Ivies could select any one of a half-dozen kids with equally strong paper qualifications, all it will do is, assuming you can pass the threshhold to be among that half-dozen, give you a huge leg up to be the one among them handed the prize slot.

    Douche baggery, however is a personality disorder, not a measure of one’s intellectual capacity. A hallmark characteristic trait of douche baggery is the strong inclination by a person to apply whatever talents they have toward pursuit and defense of unwise, misantrhopic ends. See, e.g. Supreme Court Justice Anton Scalia for one of the most perfect example imaginable of great intellectual capacity totally uncoupled with any human wisdom. Bill Kristol is another.

  110. 110.

    Rome Again

    August 25, 2008 at 6:38 am

    Are you serious ? Your post would argue against it. In fact your post would argue that you are a partisan hack without a single brain cell.

    Actually, jbarntt, if you knew anything of which you speak, you’d find that John Cole is very “bi-partisan”. He used to love Republicans, but now he is into Democrats. ;)

  111. 111.

    euZoia

    September 25, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    manahmanah Says:

    KRK-

    OBAMA/BIDEN = BABE DOMAIN

    Its the secret plan to secure women voters.
    ***
    Looks like the plan is active! There’s actually a Babe Domain for Obama Biden website at Babe-Domain.com. Women submit pics (SFW) with campaign stickers etc, and write why they support the ticket. You can vote them up and buy stuff with their photos on it. Pretty cool idea. I want to see all the beautiful Obama supporters sending photos.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Mark Halperin speaks on This Week… « Digging Glass says:
    August 24, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    […] The McCain Penis is so far in Halperin’s mouth that John Cole has awarded his Golden McPenis to Mark Halperin. An award so presitegious, that this is only the second time it’s been awarded. […]

  2. Why Does Your Journalism Suck? (Mark Halperin Edition) » Oliver Willis says:
    August 25, 2008 at 1:48 am

    […] UPDATE: Mark Halperin wins an award! […]

  3. Why We Worry » Blog Archive » Monday Blogging - 8/25/08 | It’s called crack says:
    September 2, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    […] 11:40am Best blog quote from yesterday? For service to the cause, it is with much pride that I award you the Second Golden McPenis, for meritorious service to McCain’s scrotum. Well done, Mark. You earned it. […]

  4. Balloon Juice says:
    September 16, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    […] Also, Mark Halperin was on Anderson Cooper, and I have no idea what happened to the guy who just three weeks ago was insisting that McCain’s housing gaffe was bad for Obama, but he was playing things straight down the middle and calling McCain’s lies… lies. […]

  5. You’re Not Helping: Dip…. Lefty Boomer Version « Indistinct Union says:
    October 4, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    […] up with an award/takedown based on this and dole one out quickly.  Warning graphic statue imagery via this link to John’s site.  The award I have in mind would be for the left wing inverse version of the award linked […]

  6. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Excellent Source says:
    November 22, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    […] to Michael Brown opine on the benefits of good disaster relief. Halperin, you will remember, is the deep thinker who informed us all that McCain’s inability to explain how many houses he owned was… […]

  7. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » More Good News For John McCain! says:
    January 29, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    […] Award winning Time columnist Mark Halperin is back in peak condition and cranking out teh stupid: […]

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • eclare on Holy Cow! Breaking News in the Mar-a-Lago Documents Case! (Mar 22, 2023 @ 12:12am)
  • RaflW on Holy Cow! Breaking News in the Mar-a-Lago Documents Case! (Mar 22, 2023 @ 12:11am)
  • Ken on Holy Cow! Breaking News in the Mar-a-Lago Documents Case! (Mar 22, 2023 @ 12:11am)
  • 🐾BillinGlendaleCA on Holy Cow! Breaking News in the Mar-a-Lago Documents Case! (Mar 22, 2023 @ 12:10am)
  • RaflW on Holy Cow! Breaking News in the Mar-a-Lago Documents Case! (Mar 22, 2023 @ 12:09am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!