Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

So very ready.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

The willow is too close to the house.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

In my day, never was longer.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

With all due respect and assumptions of good faith, please fuck off into the sun.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

When we show up, we win.

Most of you should go to bed and try to be better Jackals in the morning.

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Archives for 2008

Huffin’ a Sharpie

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Absolute stupidity:

Adams School District 50 is defending its decision to punish a third grader for sniffing a Sharpie marker.

Eight-year-old Eathan Harris was originally suspended from Harris Park Elementary School for three days. Principal Chris Benisch reduced the suspension to one day after complaints from Harris’ parents.

Harris used a black Sharpie marker to color a small area on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. A teacher sent him to the principal when she noticed him smelling the marker and his clothing.

“It smelled good,” Harris said. “They told me that’s wrong.”

Eathan’s father, John Harris, says the school overreacted for treating Eathan as if he was huffing, or inhaling, marker fumes.

“I think it’s outlandish,” John Harris said. “It’s ridiculous.”

But it’s progress in the War on Drugs™. After all, Sharpies are gateway markers. Today, Markers. Tomorrow, Rust-Oleum!

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Sheikh Ratbert

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For obvious reasons, this LA Times piece has me laughing:

Mohammed Atef was furious.

The Al Qaeda leader had learned that a subordinate had broken the rules repeatedly. So he did his duty as the feared military chief of a global terror network: He fired off a nasty memo.

In two pages mixing flowery religious terms with itemized complaints, the Egyptian boss accused the militant of misappropriating cash, a car, sick leave, research papers and an air conditioner during “an austerity situation” for the network. He demanded a detailed letter of explanation.

“I was very upset by what you did,” Atef wrote. “I obtained 75,000 rupees for you and your family’s trip to Egypt. I learned that you did not submit the voucher to the accountant, and that you made reservations for 40,000 rupees and kept the remainder claiming you have a right to do so. . . . Also with respect to the air-conditioning unit, . . . furniture used by brothers in Al Qaeda is not considered private property. . . . I would like to remind you and myself of the punishment for any violation.”

The memo by Atef, who later died in the U.S.-led assault on Osama bin Laden’s Afghan refuge in 2001, is among recently declassified documents that reveal a little-known side of the network. Although Al Qaeda has endured thanks to a loose and flexible structure, its internal culture has nonetheless been surprisingly bureaucratic and persistently fractious, investigators and experts say.

There is a solid SNL/Monty Python script in this story.

*** Update ***

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Welcome To the Party, SUCKAS

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I give you the straight talk. It is my job.

The other half of the dynamic duo extends a warm welcome to all the new voters Obama has brought to the party:

Older voters gravitate to Hillary Clinton because they’re too wise to be fooled by Barack Obama’s rhetoric, former president Bill Clinton told Pennsylvania voters today.

Clinton’s comments, to a packed high school gym about an hour north of Philadelphia, were one part presidential politics and one part legacy protection. His beef was with Obama’s contention that many of the problems facing the country today were simmering long before President Bush took office seven-plus years ago.

“I think there is a big reason there’s an age difference in a lot of these polls,” he said. “Because once you’ve reached a certain age, you won’t sit there and listen to somebody tell you there’s really no difference between what happened in the Bush years and the Clinton years; that there’s not much difference in how small-town Pennsylvania fared when I was president, and in this decade.”

One thing you can say about the Clintons- they sure know how to lose with their dignity intact.

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Bush’s Surrender

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I give you the straight talk. That is my job.

The Corner is nervous:

We’re hearing some very bad things about the President’s likely unconditional surrender on global warming today. One senior source suggested that the last line of sound defense had been breached and that “It will be very bad.” I’d imagine he will request, against all evidence from Europe that this does anything but make consumers poorer and utilities richer, a cap and trade regime for energy utilities.

I cannot emphasize too much how idiotic this is. At a time when the poor of the country and the world are feeling the twin crunches of credit being withdrawn and food and energy prices rising, jacking up energy prices farther will just add insult to injury.

Woah- I thought the economy was fine over there at the corner and the housing crisis was much ado about nothing that the Dem-o- RATS and the LIE-berals were just making up in an election year.

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Pretentiousness Update

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I may have to replace the Speaking for me only that I borrowed from Big Tent Democrat at the top of my posts, because Malkin has outdone herself today:

We’ve all had fun with the Snob-ama story the past week (ARUGULA!). The thing is, my friends (as a certain McSnob likes to say), the GOP has a snob problem, too. When Obama derided small-town Pennsylvanians who oppose immigration enforcement, for example, it was nothing compared to the dripping condescension of open-borders Republicans. This is the subject of my latest column. Some of you will not like it.

I give you straight talk. That is my job.

That is so awesome I do not know where to start.

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