Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

With all due respect and assumptions of good faith, please fuck off into the sun.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

When I was faster i was always behind.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

No Kings: Americans standing in the way of bad history saying “Oh, Fuck No!”

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

A tremendous foreign policy asset… to all of our adversaries.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Cat Meets FURminator: A Story of Love, Loss, Hair, and Static Cling

Cat Meets FURminator: A Story of Love, Loss, Hair, and Static Cling

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So I picked up a FURminator deShedding Tool on the way home from work. Here are the results:

At any rate, I simply can not believe how much hair that thing pulled out of him. It. Was. Everywhere. And mind you, I brush Tunch every morning because I want to keep the hair down and want him to have a healthy coat, but this furminator just kept getting more and more hair out. When I finished, I had to take the blanket outside and shake it out and then throw it in the wash, as well as vacuum the room twice. It took quite the clean-up. On the other hand, Tunch’s coat looks and feels amazing now, so I highly recommend this thing.

BTW- I “introduced” him to the furminator before using it. I let him mess with the package for a bit, then took it out of the package and let him ignore it for a bit, then and only then did I use it. That seemed to keep my bleeding to a minimum.

In other news, my HEPA is now on suicide watch.

*** Update ***

An action shot of Tunch re-furring the freshly laundered blanket that covers the futon in the study. MmmmMmm. Warm blankets.

I think his coat is visibly better looking after furminating.

Reader Interactions

131Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    I don’t think shaving your cat constitutes weight-loss, John. But at least you owned up to your trick.

  9. 9.

    The Other Steve

    Maybe I should get one of those. I got a knockoff made by Bamboo that works ok, but is not convenient.

    I was thinking… my mother used to have this contraption when I was a kid. It was a comb with a razor blade in it. She used it on us to trim our side burns.

    I’ll bet that would remove a lot of cat hair!

    I’m going to get Bubbles(The Norwegian Forest Cat) shaved come spring. She just has way too much hair. Although perhaps if the furminator works.

  12. 12.

    daryljhusseinfontaine

    eyeball beat me to it, but as my ex-roommate used to joke, "Now you can knit another cat."

    D

  13. 13.

    hotdamn

    I bought the Furminator last Fall, almost didn’t because of the price, $50.00.
    But instead of brushing the dog every day during shedding season, once a week does it.

  15. 15.

    Joshua Norton

    I am going to give him a bath

    Would he put up with that? At all?

    I could give my Siamese a bath because I started when he was about 1 month old and he didn’t know he was supposed to be afraid of water. Poor thing had a bad case of fleas and needed total dipping a few times. After toweling him off he looked like a walking bottle brush due to the static electricity.

    I wonder if I hurt his feelings by laughing at him so hard.

  17. 17.

    cyntax

    He isn’t that fat, damnit. I am going to give him a bath and take a picture of him wet so you all stop it.

    Awwww… John really is an optimist at heart.

    =)

  19. 19.

    maya

    Now if you could only figure out how to attach the Furminator to a vacuum nozzle then all your problems would be solved…

    Oh, wait !

  21. 21.

    Chuck Butcher

    I need one of those, but it would have to be the size of a yard rake to work on Gus. Ordinarily he lives 6 days a week outside on my job sites, not this year, and in/out, in/out doesn’t seem adequate to keeping his coat on him rather than the carpets. Oh well I keep using a horse mane/tail rake.

  22. 22.

    Lee from NC

    Don’t listen to the haters, John. It’s a beautiful cat. And I might have to try one of those Furminator thingies. I brush my cat every day (Siamese) and he actually looks forward to it. However, I just use an old brush of mine, a human brush as it were. I always get a good handful but I think the Furminator could do a lot better.

    And just by the way, my Siamese is the traditional (sometimes called Appleheads) rather than those supermodel bulimic creatures that a lot of people have and call a Siamese.

  24. 24.

    Keith

    I’m buying one of those things tonight. Seriously, I’ve got a medium hair and a long hair, and that long-hair especially has got some bad fur that takes hours to comb through.

  25. 25.

    Adam

    OK, NOW Tunch looks like he’s lost weight. And he probably has.

    I wonder what he’s thinking when he looks at the giant ball of hair. "Mom?"

  26. 26.

    DaveC

    Furminator’s the best grooming tool I’ve ever used on my English Mastiff. And he’s the worst shedding dog I’ve ever owned. Amazon has the Furminator on sale — you have to use it only once to appreciate it.

  27. 27.

    Genine

    I am going to give him a bath and take a picture of him wet so you all stop it.

    So you want to bleed some more?

    But, seriously, that tool is amazing. Good marketing with the pics there. Maybe you can help the GOP… once they get a decent platform.

  28. 28.

    Cain

    When I saw that pile of fur I thought "oooh! santa claus beard! You could have used to make a fake beard and mustache..aww..

    I didn’t use that tool, but I got some other thing I saw on tv and it was like 15 dollars and it does a pretty good job. Except I think I took out too much fur.. my brown cat wasn’t as snuggly after it was over.

    cain

  33. 33.

    Karen

    John, you have to know when you post pictures of Tunch, what will come up in the comments section. Some of them are pretty damn funny, too.

    I have something like that, for dogs. I use it on my German Shepherds & pull great clumps of undercoat from them, all year long. My cat HATES being groomed & I’m not fond of bleeding. Extra hair isn’t a problem with her though so she watches the girls get it, instead. With the smug "Ha ha" look on her face.

  34. 34.

    jg

    If you want your cat to lose exces hair just take him to the vet. It works on mine. He probably drops a pound of the stuff in the carrier and in the vets exam room.

  36. 36.

    Wonk

    Of course, there are no pictures of Cole actually brushing Tunch with that thing. Cuz you know that’s where all the action was.

    Tunch does look much better, though.

  37. 37.

    Carrie

    Yeah, it may be a really good gizmo, but i’m noy falling for it though.
    i’ve used my goddamn neti pot twice and nearly drowned
    the last time.

  40. 40.

    Chuck Butcher

    Marlin, calico, loves to be combed. All you have to do is bring out the comb and she’s there, that presents difficulties if the object is Gus.

    Try to picture 150# of dog who thinks a few minutes of brushing means let’s play, 150# of owner trying to brush 150# of prancing, leaping, rolling dog while 15# – or so – of cat is trying to get some brushing and is not shy about it. Marlin for some reason has virtually no regard for Gus, you could make a case about nerve, but at 10:1 smartness isn’t a part of that case.

  41. 41.

    Poppy

    Oh yes, the Furminator was the saviour of our navy carpet (awful carpet, but rented house.) My cat is large, long-haired and ginger and white, however… very cute photos!

  42. 42.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    What size is good for a 14-16 lb long-haired cat? Kitty never gets mats but he sheds like a mofo.

  44. 44.

    Jeff Wingstrom

    I’ve tried this thing too. Works awesome. The problem is, soon as I go for her belly area with it I’m ripped to bloody ribbons.

  46. 46.

    Fwiffo

    He isn’t that fat, damnit. I am going to give him a bath and take a picture of him wet so you all stop it.

    You’re rarely that sensitive, John, but any time somebody points out that Tunch is a huge fat lardass, it seems to press your buttons. Methinks thou dost protest too much.

  47. 47.

    gbear

    I’ve got a furminator on my wish list at Amazon, but haven’t bought it yet. I’m pretty sure that one of my ‘after’ pictures would be of a cat with all her hair, hatefully glaring at me from under the bed. She doesn’t relate well to brushes (her name should be Re Styles given that her motto is ‘Don’t Touch Me There’).

    That is a pretty amazing ‘after’ picture. I bet she feels a lot better for it too. Purrs all around!

  48. 48.

    Mike in NC

    I’ve tried this thing too. Works awesome. The problem is, soon as I go for her belly area with it I’m ripped to bloody ribbons.

    As I constantly remind my wife: wear leather gloves!

    Am ordering one tomorrow after I show her those pictures.

  49. 49.

    JR

    Yeah, the Furminator is fantastic. It’s like shearing a sheep. I’ve been tempted many times to knit a sweater or another cat from the extras my two furballs shed.

    But I always end up using my Dyson pet hair vacuum. That thing gets a workout.

  50. 50.

    JD Rhoades

    I am going to give him a bath and take a picture of him wet so you all stop it.

    Doesn’t the fur stick to your tongue?

    [/Steve Martin]

  51. 51.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Hey, John, I thought you weren’t going to adopt a second cat until — oh. OH.

    Wow, that is impressive. And Tunch does look awfully soft, and distinctly smaller.

  52. 52.

    The Moar You Know

    Jesus, you’ve got enough for a second cat. I think I have to get one – I’ve got a female tortie version of Tunch.

  54. 54.

    HumboldtBlue

    Is that a cat or the penultimate monster from Ghostbusters?

    I’ve been tempted many times to knit a sweater or another cat from the extras my two furballs shed.

    There’s a woman who ran a pet grooming biz and one day the light clicked on and she started making yarn out of the pet hair. Now customers can get their pet groomed and purchase a purse knitted from their lost hair.

  55. 55.

    Genine

    I must admit, Tunch takes very good photos. Its like he’s aware you’re taking his photo and purposely poses. What a sweetie!

    What a… grumpy… ornery… sneaky… sweetie!

    (squee, snuggle, kiss!)

  56. 56.

    Comrade Darkness

    Ha!

    Thank you for the 1960s Better Homes and Gardens advertising genre flashback. Excellent.

  59. 59.

    thinc

    Amen. He definitely looks better after. The difference between the first and second pictures is dramatic.

    And is it just me or does he look proud of the size of the furball the the two of you produced?

  60. 60.

    Rex

    Is that a mexican blanket on a wood framed futon?

    Separately, white really shows girth. Have you thought about dying Tunch black? It would be very slendering.

  61. 61.

    Ash Can

    ::looks at the photo in the update::

    The legs on that white couch are crooked.

    (Full disclosure: I love cats, and Tunch is no exception. I’m just amused by his avoir-du-poids.)

  62. 62.

    Tom

    The questions that I need answers to are:

    Which politicians need the Furminator sent to them in large quantities by the Red State Strike Force? And for what reason?

  65. 65.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I can has open thread pleeze KTHNXBAI.

    Oh never mind I am going to post it here anyway. I have been youtubing and came across this, one of my favorite female artists Petula Clark, last year, 75 years young singing a medley of her greatest hits with the songwriter Tony Hatch. Damn if I look and sound that good at 75 I will be one happy person.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlndv6C57Eg&feature=related

    Oh and here’s another one when she was "only" 68 LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JztIXbaGDZU&feature=related

  67. 67.

    AnneLaurie

    And just by the way, my Siamese is the traditional (sometimes called Appleheads) rather than those supermodel bulimic creatures that a lot of people have and call a Siamese.

    Dang, I loooove the Appleheads… first cat I ever knew was the old-fashioned Siamese my dad got my mom instead of an engagement ring, back in the 1950s when Siamese were still rare & exotic. But you may be disappointed in the Furminator, because the reason behind the famous Siamese ‘silk satin’ coat is that they *don’t* have much undercoat! (Same reason Siamese kittens have weird ‘duckling’ coats, and some Siamese look like they’ve got ‘bald tracks’ over their eyebrows — no undercoat.)

  71. 71.

    Ken J.

    Hi Anne Laurie!! Regarding the Furminator and Siamese: my wife brought home one of these widgets, or a knock-off, this week and I was startled how much fuzz it pulled out of our purebred Siamese (Tristan). The cat seemed totally happy with the process. I was told this was undercoat fur.

    Tristan is not an "applehead," but neither is he one of the "designer rat" super-skinny varieties.

  72. 72.

    Stuck

    I have been told that Tunch talks like a Siamese.

    The news gets any slower, we may need to drag time back to the Palin Starburst era.

  73. 73.

    Martin

    Furminator is awesome. Our Corgi ate most of his (Corgis eat fucking everything, btw) but it’s a must-have item for any cat/dog owner.

    And why limit yourself to dying Tunch black? My undergrad advisor has a white bunny in his office and to get back at him for something (who knows what), I broke into his office and turned him blue with a spray bottle and a jar of blue food coloring. He was lovely. The pink eyes really stood out.

  74. 74.

    Keith

    Just dropped $34 at Petsmart on a FURminator to try on my long-hair (Floyd). He’s got some terrible fur & is the only one of my four to get furballs (even the medium-hair doesn’t get them), but right now, I’m waiting on him to finish cleaning up the feeding area – first there, first to leave, and he sometimes naps there – before I can do the full groom on him.
    But I did rake it across him once and got a suprising amount of undercoat. With the regular comb, I typically get the overcoat, but it does a good job as best I can tell. But then I figured it would given the number of cat-lovers here who rave about it (reminds me of the Litter Robot, of which I now have 2)

  75. 75.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Ayuh, I remember the time Tunch slept on the back of the couch all day. Lessee, that was aught 8 I believe. Or was it..

  79. 79.

    ScreaminginAtlanta

    I love the picture where he’s looking wistfully at the lost fur. But in the last photo you can tell he knows it’s all for the best. I love this cat.

  80. 80.

    Martin

    NY Post is issuing an apology for those offended by the offensive, dumb cartoon.

    The entire NY Post is offensive. Why start apologizing now? It was offensive 20 years ago when I lived there and they never apologized then. They must be close to bankruptcy to be taking this desperately unprecedented move.

  82. 82.

    Andrew

    Now imagine pulling that much white hair out of a black cat. It’s so odd to brush my kitty with the furminator and have white fluff appear. Endlessly entertaining for me, not so much for the cat. In fact, she is now swishing her tail and glaring at me after a quick brushing.

  83. 83.

    Laura Clawson

    I wish to god Henley would let me use something like that. I’d like to hunt down whoever traumatized him when he was a kitten and kick the crap out of them. Not that it would magically make Henley willing to be held.

  85. 85.

    Annie

    These comment are sooooooo funny, I just spit my wine through my nose.

    Way to go. John’s problem is solved. Next week after brushing Tunch again, he will have his new kittie.

  86. 86.

    RandyH

    Wow. I’ve gotta get me one of those FURminator things!

    I’ve got two big fat cats that have started their spring shed early because we’ve had an odd spell of weather lately. Let’s just get it over with in one sitting with this cool new tool.

  87. 87.

    eyeball

    He’s a perfectly lovely cat. he just shouldn’t have eaten that other cat. Did you combine the furminator with the heimlich maneuver?

  88. 88.

    Bootlegger

    86 posts on Cole’s cat? You people need to get out more ;-)

    Ya’ll ain’t even hatin’ on BOB.

  89. 89.

    Phoebe

    I think applehead Siamese DO have an undercoat, because mine obsessively groomed it all out of himself after a case of fleas. His coat was like straw after that, but then the undercoat grew back and now he’s silky again.

  90. 90.

    Keith

    I used it on my fat one, and he liked it a bit got then started making funny noises and tried biting the FURminator. That caused one of my other cats (hyper-protective) to come in and attack the one getting groomed. Since that whole fiasco ended, the groomee has been chilling out by the fur pile for the last 15 minutes looking pretty happy.

  92. 92.

    Annie

    I am sorry. I can’t stop laughing.

    The image of Keith’s "groomee" chilling out by the fur pile looking pretty happy, and the notion that the fur is a giant hairball.

    Thanks John and Tunch.

    A brilliant post. What a relief from all the negative news out there. I want to save all the comments for a bad day!

  93. 93.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    He looks soooo pleased by the Tunch-sized mound of hair.

    My big fat cat always goes into a frenzy when I use the shedding tool. If he doesn’t claw my hand off he races around, trying to eat all the clumps of hair. I guess that saves him the trouble of grooming long enough to accumulate a hair ball.

  94. 94.

    gnomedad

    Using the Furminator on our cats is a Sorcerer’s Apprentice kind of experience. It just keeps coming. Somehow they still have coats when we’re done we give up.

  95. 95.

    DaveC

    gnomedad 93

    I’ve used it for some time now and have never been able to persist long enough for the Furminator to come up anywhere close to empty.

    This tool is serious. And be careful you don’t slice your free hand open with it. I did. Once.

  97. 97.

    Fulcanelli

    That is one handsome kitteh, Tunch! Robust physique, yet sleek and svelte all at the same time. I’ve gotta get a Furminator to use on our two pups. We seem to burn out a vacuum cleaner every two years, not to mention the money we blow on those sticky paper hair roller things as we de-hair ourselves before work. No outfit is complete without dog/cat hair…

    @eyeball: Nobody’s gonna take that bait?

  100. 100.

    James Hare

    For realz, John — you oughta sell these things for furminator. I bought one from PetSmart halfway through the comments.

    The funny thing is, I saw some comments talking about how this reminded them of old advertisements — sure as heck does. Show a product, show what it does. If your product is worth people spending money for, they do it. Half the time watching ads these days I have no idea what the hell it’s supposed to be about.

    Hope this thing helps my Persephone — I have to have one of those fur clean-up things for clothes in my car, my office and right by the door!

  101. 101.

    passerby

    @RandyH:

    …started their spring shed early because we’ve had an odd spell of weather lately. Let’s just get it over with in one sitting with this cool new tool.

    Same here RandyH. After seeing Tunch’s pile of fur, I’m gonna get me one of those hoping to cut down on my brushing duties which seem to have begun early this year.

    I brush everyday any way but kitty has been demanding more. So: (zombie voice) I hear and will obey.

    And: Ask not what your cat can do for you, …

  106. 106.

    Lesley

    Damn, that’s a cute cat.

    It looks like you’ve got enough fur there to make another cat if you want one. (Who needs cloning when you have the furminator?)

  109. 109.

    headpan

    Aww, looka heem, he looks like he’s posing for Playcat!

    Does he like older women? Cuz, again, I’m thinking he is just *perfect* for my daphne!

    Since you continue to ignore my entreaties to get them together, I’m gonna get your home address from Michelle Malkin and ship her right over. (The cat, not Michelle Malkin).

  111. 111.

    Charity

    What do you guys recommend for a flaky cat?

    Not behavior, I mean, he has actual dandruffy flakes. I don’t dare try to bathe him (claws).

  112. 112.

    Elroy's Lunch

    Jeez, Elroy took one look at Tunch’s picture and started packing his bags. Said something about moving to West Virginia. I "limit" him to two feedings a day and still all he does is prowl the house, opening the kitchen cabinets and tearing open any plasticky package that may contain food.

    And he’s been studying the door handle on the refrigerator recently…

  114. 114.

    HeartlandLiberal

    I note some wag suggested ‘slendering’ Tunch by dying him black.

    Of course you could do him in vertical stripes to make him look taller.

    Actually, thanks for this info. I plan to get one of these for our part-Main Coon cat, who weighs about 14, and is the longest furred cat we have ever had. He requires regular combing to get the burrs out, he is an indoor-outdoor at will cat, he and his housemates have their own tunnel through the wall of the lower level with a swinging/hanging door. At the height of the burr season, he has been known to come in gnarled from tip to toe to tail with gigantic burrs. Now getting those off is really fun.

  115. 115.

    headpan

    I’m definitely getting a Furminator for the spring, also, after this awesome product placement, btw. However, not looking forward to the post-furming clean-up which sounds substantial according to John’s post.

    Charity, I know there are some things you can massage into and/or comb into their fur (do not buy any kind of spray, though, I did that – what was I thinking – they hate that). The flaking is a sign of dry skin. This often happens in the winter when the air is drier and also home heating systems don’t help. Also, diet. Your kitty might need some extra oil in its diet. I wish I could recommend a specific product or something but I don’t know of anything off-hand. That’s just what I have gleaned about kitty-care over the years.

    Good luck

  116. 116.

    headpan

    Heartlandliberal: You have a Maine coon? Is he like the most loving, sweetest bear of a cat evar? My next door neighbor has one and he is an absolute, rather substantial I might add, bundle of affection. He loves everybody and wants to flop onto anyone who comes in her house. I’m very jealous of her – I want that cat (I think, not sure about the very thick, very long hair but he is the sweetest thing with the biggest paws I have ever seen.)

    Hmmm, "Thou shalt not covet they neigbhor’s cat"

  117. 117.

    jeff

    He should be loosing his winter coat now. The days are getting longer. That may account for the quantity.

  118. 118.

    Sam Hutcheson

    I hate to rain on the Furminator parade, but you might want to check out some of the reviews at Amazon…

  119. 119.

    Skepticat

    Though I’m not sure I could control them long enough to use it, my cats could use a few runs through this. My Maine coon cat (a purebred stray, no less) has extraordinarily long, silky fur, and sometimes it looks as though tumbleweeds are blowing around the house. We just came back to a totally empty (clean) house after having the floors refinished, and within half an hour there already were mini-mounds of fur.

    I hope you’re getting a commission from the people who make this product.

    Tunch is beautiful. My white cat wasn’t quite that big before he became diabetic from dry food, but is very svelte on a pure protein diet now. Of course the spooran still sways regally under his belly.

    It’s nice to have threads like this wound through the chaos and dreck of everything else with which we have to deal. You (and some of these comments) have made my day.

  120. 120.

    Kelly

    How do you get your cat to sit still for that!?!? I have a cat that leaves piles of hair EVERYWHERE, but I can’t get him to cooperate to brush him at all! He’ll let me brush his back a little, but it is his belly that really needs it and he won’t let me anywhere near him for that! You’re kitty is beautiful by the way.

  121. 121.

    Dave S.

    One more thumbs-up for the Furminator. We use it on our shepherd-husky mix (undercoat + year-round shedding) and it works great. Relatively high upfront cost but a great investment.

  122. 122.

    Krista

    Awww….Tunchie looks amazing. And you were saying he had soft fur before — I bet his fur is ridiculously soft now.

    And I love that photo of him staring bemusedly at the Giant Hairball of Doom.

    I might have to recommend that Furminator to my sister. Lexie’s shorthaired, and so isn’t too bad, but Patches gets such nasty mats that she winds up having to bring him to the groomer every so often for the dreaded Lion Cut.

  124. 124.

    Zuzu's Petals

    People always commented on my super-fat 17-yr-old kitty. He did have the appearance of a furry barrel on four little legs.

    About a year ago he had to have his fur shaved off…and lo and behold, he was actually a pretty svelte guy under all that fur.

    I think I sent in a pic of him in his furless state. I should send one of his "furry/fat" pics for comparison.

  125. 125.

    Nazgul35

    I’ve decided to buy one on you rec John…but it comes in different sizes…it’s kind of hard to tell which one you bought due to Tunch’s size….could you help a brother out!

    >:>

    PS: We all love Tunch.

  126. 126.

    Phoenix Woman

    I liked how you got Tunch used to the idea of being near the FURminator. It looks like he really likes it, and may have even made the connection in his kitty mind between Use Of FURminator and Nice Fluffy Coat.

  128. 128.

    Anne

    He looks gorgeous!

    We use that thing on our cats, and it’s incredible how much fur it removes. I end up with a mountain of fur that looks as big as the original cat. Some of them like it and some don’t, but their coats are always noticeably sleeker and softer after furmination.

  129. 129.

    MazeDancer

    The camera adds 10 to 15 pounds to people. Tunch is probably just healthy sized, and the camera gives him extra pouf.

    He looks quite handsome in the post-grooming shot. Furminator is going to approach him about spokeskitty-ing.

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