In light of the fact that it looks increasingly likely that a census worker was murdered in Kentucky a few weeks ago, this kind of rhetoric from a Congressman is really fucked up:
Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) took to the airwaves on Fox today to warn viewers of the rapists and child molesters he says will be coming to their doors courtesy of the U.S. government next year.
Speaking on “Studio B” this afternoon, Chaffetz responded to recent Senate testimony from a GAO official who said it was “possible” that improper fingerprinting procedures at the Census Bureau led to the hiring of somewhere around 200 temporary census workers “with extensive criminal records.” The official said the bureau had dismissed 750 of 1,800 temporary workers it hired last year with criminal records after reviewing details of the workers’ cases.
This is just disgusting.
Makewi
Yes warning the public is fucked up. Totally.
beltane
What about all the Sunday school teachers who have not undergone background checks? Or those Jehovah’s Witnesses who always show up at my door (well, they don’t anymore since I discovered the way to get rid of them)? How does Rep. Chaffetz propose dealing with these potentially criminal proselytizers?
Dr. Psycho
“Irresponsible” doesn’t even begin to cover it.
How about “reckless endangerment”?
How about “one to five for inciting violence against a Federal agent”?
ellaesther
Why? Why do they do this? What is gained by this? Other than an atmosphere of dread which will become a self-fulfilling prophecy that will justify their world views – oh. I have answered my own question, haven’t I?
Fucking hell. And the fact that this comes from people sworn to uphold the Constitution, which, not incidentally mandates the Census, never fails to leave me absolutely gobsmacked. Fucking hell!
Demo Woman
It does show you what the priorities are of some on the right.
General Winfield Stuck
I don’t know about that. He could have ransacked his own truck, stole his laptop, buried it in the woods, scrawled FED on his chest and hung himself with his feets on the ground after bounding his own hands with Ducktape. Yes, I said DUCK tape you pedantic fappists.
Davis X. Machina
Chaffetz was supposed to be one of the sane ones, one of the GOP’ers in touch with reality, with whom one could deal.
Maybe there aren’t any
SiubhanDuinne
@beltane
Okay, I’ll bite. (Clears throat.) AHEM.
How *do* you get rid of the Jehovah’s Witnesses who show up at your door?
(This really sounds like a bad joke.)
ellaesther
@beltane: Ooh, what is your way, what is your way? My “NO SOLICITORS” sign doesn’t do the trick…!
Plus: You are absolutely correct about all the folks we do not check. Either we should all take on a hell of a lot more fear — or, just possibly, people like Rep. Chaffetz should STFU. Just, you know, a thought.
LD50
But on the upside, this kind of rhetoric could result in serious census undercounting in red states. Another example of our wingnut brethren really thinking things through.
jl
In the spirit of the health reform public option state opt-out proposal, I say let states opt out of the 2010 census. They can send in the 2000 census data for their allocation federal funds, Congresisional apportionment. In fact, let them choose to send in the very first olde timey census data from their state, done back when white men were white men, and stufff were done right. Why not? States rights!
linda
check this out:
A bunch of Broward County, Fla. Republicans convened at a local rifle range to talk politics and squeeze off a few rounds at bullseyes.
One of them was a poster of a scary dude in a traditional Middle Eastern headdress — another was human likeness with the initials of local Democratic Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, according to the Sun-Sentinel.
Among the members of the Southeast Broward Republican Club shooting their handguns and AK’s Robert Lowry, who is waging an uphill campaign to unseat the popular Democratic incumbent in a district where D’s outnumber R’s two-to-one.
Lowry’s target — a paper silhouette — had “DWS” written on it, a stunt Lowry first called a “joke” and later a “mistake.”
http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/wasserman-schultz-rival-takes-aim-rif
The Bearded Blogger
@SiubhanDuinne: answer the door wearing nothing but flippers, shorts and a large erection?
The Bearded Blogger
@LD50: actually, as dumb as they are, they are smart when it comes to being evil… maybe they want to sabotage the census as such? This is plausible if they perceive that a new census could better reflect the US population (i.e, hurt republicans)
beltane
@SiubhanDuinne: @ellaesther: They were a problem by me, probably because I am too nice. One afternoon they came by my house with their literature, and asked me to compare the relative worth of the New Testament vs. the Old Testament. Instead of telling them I wasn’t interested, I laughed in their faces until I was in tears. They must have thought I was demon-possesed since they’ve never returned.
A co-worker of mine used to get rid of them by calling them Satanist fornicators. That sounds more satisfying than just laughing at them.
cokane
maybe Mr R-UT would like us to be suspicious of all the possible perverts in the LDS Church going door to door?
DougJ
But on the upside, this kind of rhetoric could result in serious census undercounting in red states.
I don’t favor that either. Census numbers are used for allocations of various federal money and right-wing states not getting what they’re supposed for certain federal programs probably just screws the poor in those states.
beltane
@linda: His uphill campaign looks to have gotten a whole lot more uphill. Maybe his next trick will be to push a Hummer up Mt. Everest.
Dreggas
@beltane:
Or those creepy mormon boys in their white shirts, black pants and bicycle helmets….
ellaesther
@beltane: Oh my! No, I can’t invest that much energy, I fear.
I do have a friend who has an elaborate, polite sign on her front door, just above a pretty basket, reading something along the lines of “To all solicitors, political campaigners, agents of God, etc. Please do not ring our bell. While we understand that you would like to share your news with us, we would be much happier to simply read your literature and think about it at our leisure. If you would like to, you may leave copies in the basket, below.”
And then empties it into the recycling.
Dreggas
@DougJ:
Considering most of the taxes i pay to the feds go to red-state welfare I wouldn’t mind seeing less money go there. (i live in cali).
Mnemosyne
@SiubhanDuinne:
One of my ex-boyfriends found that coming to the door while casually holding a shotgun was extremely effective.
linda
Hummer up Mt. Everest.
speaking of… did you see the chinese just bought hummer.
i find that hugely funny.
Dreggas
HOW TO GET RID OF JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES
1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (immediate results)
2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of charity lasts.
3. Answer every one of their questions with “What do you mean by that?” This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.
4. Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the “Alpha & Omega’s” identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.
5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) …and don’t come back.
6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls. (booky, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)
7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what’s going on, say “nothing, why?” in very even tones, and giggle again.
8. Same as #7, except say “beep” instead of giggling.
9. (males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil. Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosery, a dress, the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see…] throughout and if they ask you what you’re doing, pull a #7) If they’re still there when you are done, Ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.
10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
colleeniem
Does anyone know of a charity that is organizing for Sparkman’s family? From the article, it looks like they hurting for funds for a funeral.
I sure would like to help in some way.
And yes, I used the google.
Avi
The last time Chaffetz had anything to say about the Census, he was calling for a postal holiday so mailmen could conduct it, which reveals that he’s totally uninformed about the enumeration process. Or maybe he’s just a fucking moron.
SiubhanDuinne
@beltane
Glad it worked for you, but hoestly now, doesn’t The Bearded Blogger’s method sound way more fun?
LD50
@The Bearded Blogger:
If you’d said that to me in 2005, I probably would have agreed with you. In 2009? Not so much.
Tonal Crow
Um, why no background checks for congressmembers? I mean, if you wanna talk about molesting, look at what they’ve done to our Constitution!
Loneoak
@beltane:
“No thanks, I’m not superstitious” usually works for me.
Martin
Maybe I’m just nice, but I’m really not interesting in scaring the shit out of anyone – even Jehovas Witnesses. I just tell them that I’m really, really atheist. They’re not out expecting to win me over – they’re after other Christians that are already 80% in the door.
Now, I’ve had Catholics come to the door in the same manner (which surprised the hell out of me) and they’ve been more persistant coming back, but they’re equally polite when I tell them I’m not interested.
freelancer
@Tonal Crow:
Not to mention the occassional page.
Leelee for Obama
I tell the Witnesses and Mormons that I’m a Frisberian. We believe when you die, your soul goes and lays on your neighbor’s roof. Sometimes they leave skidmarks….h/t to Rita Rudner
kommrade reproductive vigor
I’m sure the Church of LDS conducts full background checks on the bike riding drones it unleashes on the rest of the planet.
$10 bucks says this douchebag has a fine collection of wetsuits.
DougJ
Does anyone know of a charity that is organizing for Sparkman’s family?
I was wondering the same thing.
Colette
@Loneoak:
I’ve said “No, I’m not interested in your nutball cult” and then shut the door. Since the ones in my neighborhood always bring small children with them, I’ve also interrupted their opening spiel and asked if I could invite their kids in so I can tell them about my religion (the mezuzah on the doorpost seems to act like catnip to them). That’s been good for a couple of hurried high-dudgeon withdrawals.
People have told me the best way is to tell them you’ve been disfellowshipped, which is their version of excommunicated and which makes you completely off-limits to devout JWers, but I haven’t tried that yet.
General Winfield Stuck
I know this info is highly important. But three more posts today, or maybe one big one,( I’m not sure how that works) and an entire day of threads will christen the front page of BJ.
I don’t think that has ever happened since I been here. The possibilities are humuungus, and totally awesome.
Martin
Not quite. 2/3 comes back to Cali, so only 1/3 goes to red states (other than TX, which is also a donor state) and a few blue ones as well.
Tattoosydney
@The Bearded Blogger:
I think I saw that movie.
Martin
@General Winfield Stuck:
I think we need some pets. That should about do it.
LD50
@DougJ: All true. But you have to admit, it’d be kinda funny if it also resulted in some Red states losing house seats.
LD50
@DougJ: All true. But you have to admit, it’d be kinda funny if it also resulted in some red states losing House seats.
RedKitten
@Martin: Seconded!
General Winfield Stuck
@Dreggas:
Yes, them Seven Day Adventurists as Archie would say. There’s a pair living in the same complex as I. They do have some cool Mountain Bikes to crusade and proselytize on though.
They came by once and I answered the door, opened it, scowled a little, then shut it. I think they’re afraid of me now as they peddle their pale well scrubbed scrawny asses like there’s a fire when we run into each other.
BDeevDad
This is the same Congressman who refused to be searched himself by the TSA. What is he hiding.
General Winfield Stuck
@Martin:
Cole is slacking again on the critters, so I’ll re-post this Libby Video again for those who may have missed it. I’ve watched it ten times and it’s just as good as the first.
Tonal Crow
@BDeevDad:
Indeed. I find it difficult to estimate the number of times GOPers have said, “If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear”.
Tattoosydney
@beltane:
I was awoken one day by a knock at the door – two sweet, pretty Asian women who, it became apparent, were recruiting for the Moonies, and wanted me to fly to Seoul to attend an event that I assume was this one – the timing is right. I politely and regretfully declined the offer to marry someone I had never met, after getting them to confirm that Reverend Moon would not be prepared to marry me to a tall, black, rich and sexually depraved man of my choice, but instead wanted to hitch me to with a woman I met five minutes before the big moment. They were sweet, and giggled a lot. I hope they got the big, black man of their dreams in Seoul that year.
debit
I dunno, I’ve never had trouble getting rid of the religious door knockers; I just politely interrupt their spiel and say, “I’m a very happy atheist. Goodbye.” One sweet Mormon college age boy earnestly said, “Okay, but call us if you need anything.” I was tempted when I needed my lawn mowed, but decided against it.
General Winfield Stuck
So I guess Seventh Day Adventists are not Mormon/ Shows how much I know about religion.
Perry Como
From the AP article:
Who the fuck is editing over there?
aimai
Why do they do this? Because they want to. I just was blogging about coming to terms with this in the children’s world of bad bullying behavior. Eventually we all have to grasp that people who do really harmful, angry, things want to cause harm, and anger. People absolutely must be assumed, absent other evidence, to intend the ordinary results of their actions. People who incite violence against census workers actually want to see violence occur. When it occurs its not an “accident” or “a byproduct” of some other strategy–its the goal of that strategy. There can be other, longer, range goals of course but basically people intend what they do.
aimai
KaffeeMeister
I always tell religious door knockers that I worship Beelzebubba.
I usually spare them the explanation that he’s 6 foot 6 and named Bob.
It’s totally untrue, but then why not make their day?
geg6
OT, but Alan Grayson sighting on Countdown. With Lawrence O. Video of his full awesome speech on the floor today and an interview. Should be good.
jah
Did Fox name “Studio B” after Team B, where you can just make shit up and be wrong about everything?
Cain
@The Bearded Blogger:
They’d just ask you that if you added dildo and the two wet suits are they’d be happy to take a break.
cain
Cain
@Martin:
Usually, I just said I’m really happy with the religion I am in right now and that I’d let them know if I’m unhappy. For some reason that seems to work just fine. They give me literature, but I usually am pretty firm saying I’ve already read the bible and the new and old testament. Then I start telling them about Hinduism.. hehe.
cain
sunsin
How does a representative get away with denouncing a procedure specifically mandated in the Constitution, anyway? Sounds treasonable to me.
kommrade reproductive vigor
@Tattoosydney: Please. No autographs.
jl
@sunsin: Right. He was not expressing concern about problems with employee background checks. He did include a pro forma phrase on that, of course.
But his overall message was that these problems would not be fixed before the census, and that criminals would be coming to peoples’ doors, and that this would, in fact, be a problem. He the said that cooperating with the 2010 Census would be dangerous to our personal safety.
There are at least two witnesses, we are a nation at two wars. Book him.
El Cid
Thank you. After watching decades of domestic and foreign policies benefit a tiny few and wreak havoc upon the lives of so many, aided and abetted by propaganda campaigns and a social class system which generates the ideologues needed, I’m sick and tired of the religious dogma that any undesired effects are, in any meaningful and interesting way, “unintended consequences” applied to any policy when a U.S. politician merely suggests the absence of an evil motive.
Shell
And what’s so depressingly monotonous, is I didn’t need to see if there was an “R” after the honorable senator’s name.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@linda:
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz is going to serve her district as long as she wants. DWS is one of the strongest Democrats currently in office and will wipe the floor with any redneck that runs against her.
Shell
I tell them I’m a Druid. Reformed. We’re only allowed to worship bushes.
(Thank you, Larry Gelbart)
Betsy
My mother has one of my favorite New Yorker (I think?) cartoons ever on her fridge. It shows a man standing in his doorway, looking at the pamphlet some eager missionary has handed him, and saying to him, “You call this literature?”
El Cid
The problem here is that this whole “census” thing is an un-Constitutional big government soci_alist intervention by liberals. Yeah, sure it’s in that Constitution, but not the real Constitution as presented by Jesus.
General Winfield Stuck
I became a chanting Buddhist in the Army. They always had the best reefer and hippie chicks.
madmommy
The Witnesses came to my door once, when I lived in an upstairs apartment. When I opened the door, my ginormous orange cat scooted out the door and started down the stairs. When I yelled at the cat to get his furry ass back in the house, and he did what I asked, they did an about face and headed back down the stairs. Didn’t even leave me any “literature”.
freelancer
@jah:
Ah Yes, Team B!
Eric U.
when I lived in Utah, the Mormons really picked on me. And they have impeccable timing, every time they showed up I was in the bathroom taking a dump. Note to LDS Church: it doesn’t make sense to have missionaries in Utah. The last time they showed up, they had an 8 1/2 x 11 glossy image of Jesus. Even though I’m an atheist, that pissed me off a little. OTOH, you can go to the temple in Salt Lake City and sign people up for a visit by missionaries. I never thought of anyone that I wanted to do that to, but it makes me happy that I could.
If the republicans keep this up, we’re going to have to bring back the un-American activities committee. And this time they’ll go after the right people.
Jay C
OK, I’m sure this will
probablycertainly sound extraordinarily dense, but can someone please possibly explain to me exactly what IS it with the wingnuts and the Census? I know that every ten years, various fringies lose even more of their tinfoil over the supposed heinous evils of the decennial count; but this time around, Census Paranoia seems to have infected even more folks than usual. Including congressmen?? WTF?? Is it just generalized “anti-government” reflexes gone toxic? Or is there some deeper aberration at work?@DougJ:
I’m sure this is seen in many quarters as a feature, not a bug…
Leelee for Obama
@General Winfield Stuck: Damnit, Stuck! I just cleaned my keyboard and monitor today! Now I gotta get more Windex!!!!!
@madmommy: That was truly funny-they probably talk about you at training sessions!
auntieeminaz
@colleeniem: @DougJ:
The only one I found was a “Friends of Bill Sparkman” on Facebook.
Leelee for Obama
@Shell: Don’t know how I missed this! I’d go with mistletoe myself-the better to tie in a pagan holiday,also. Too!
Polish the Guillotines
@Jay C:
Well, Jay C, I figured I’d take one for the team and see what the ol’ Conservapedia says about the census. I figure if anyone knows why wingnuts fear it, they do.
Yutsano
@Polish the Guillotines: I hope you’ve taken a long hot shower after that, preferably not alone.
mai naem
@Jay C:
Simple, they think that the census people will work hard and get more poor people counted thus not only changing the number of reps in different states but indirectly have more money go to poor people.
Xenos
My sister came up with the best approach for Jehovah’s witnesses that had gotten a bit pushy with my terribly polite and considerate mother. She brought them in, discussed the finer points of doctrine and heterodoxy to the point they were quite disoriented, and then insisted they all pray together, with my sister leading the prayer out of the Episcopal Book of Common Prayor. Exeunt stage left, never to be heard from again.
Polish the Guillotines
@Yutsano: I’m running a virus scan of my computer, you can be sure.
John O
The Wingularity is at least 2 years away.
Minimum.
Polish the Guillotines
@Xenos: I’m really tempted to print out a bunch of Constitutions and hand them out when they come around.
gocart mozart
@Makewi:
I would like to take this opportunity to inform all Balloon Juicers that Makewi might be a fucker of young goats. i.e., a kid raper. This warning is solely intended as a precaution. Please use your own judgment when evaluating this situation. That is all.
bago
@El Cid: Cthulu Jesus disagrees.
Tattoosydney
@John O:
Scarily, I suspect you are right.
freelancer
@bago:
Indeed.
Tattoosydney
@bago:
Praise be to his winged tentacleness.
LD50
@gocart mozart: It would be irresponsible *not* to speculate.
gocart mozart
Yes, warning the public is so totally not fucked up, Makewi, right?
Tattoosydney
@Tattoosydney:
The awesomeness of that picture should be linked to at every opportunity. I assume there will be an Alt-Text version very soon.
Cat Lady
@John O:
Fauxrage at DEFCON 10 til 2012!
I hope the Mayans were right.
freelancer
@Tattoosydney:
Some of the things in this version are really subtle.
For instance if you look at Satan, he’s scared shitless.
The College Professor is holding the Necronomicon.
Lincoln is holding his intestines.
The Senator is tearing his face off whereas the Reporter is devouring hers.
freelancer
@freelancer:
And why does George Washington have a bloody crotch?!
Tattoosydney
@freelancer:
Did you see McNaughton’s response to Liberal criticisms?
Trans: Jesus was white and and spoke American English, gosh darnit.
minachica
@Mnemosyne:
Truly, the crazy old trailer lady who brandished a shotgun at me when I was a teenage werewolf, uh, I mean JW, had sorta the right idea. I was actually relieved to have an excuse to leave her alone, since I would otherwise have been obligated to try to overcome every objection until she slammed the door in my face. I guess no one else on this thread had the unique experience of growing up in a missionary cult. I’m jealous.
Comrade Kevin
There’s no open thread, so I’ll just say it here:
God damn, I hate the fucking Yankees. And the Red Sox.
Tattoosydney
@freelancer:
I note also that Our Lord’s minions come from amongst all of the ancient tribes – the fish faces, the black eyed starers, the cabbage heads. I was fascinated to find out that Ronald Reagan is a screaming tentacle head.
gocart mozart
OT but,
Grayson on the House floor said today that “I want to inform my Democratic friends that Olympia Snowe was not elected President of the United States.”
And also,
Tonight on Rachel Maddow, Barbara Boxer called Rush Limbaugh’s Peace Prize comment “very wimpy” and to paraphrase the rest, “Anyone can throw a punch or in Rush’s case, send other men and women to throw a punch for you, but it takes a real leader to look an enemy in the eye and talk to them.”
I’m sorry, wrong blog. I thought this was firedoglake.
Comrade Kevin
@gocart mozart: Grayson’s statement was full of win.
Svensker
A dear friend of mine in the Quaker church always invites the JWs and the Mormons in for tea. She is 90 and about 4’8″ and is as sweet and pretty as a rose. She can also talk the hind leg off an elephant, so she gets them in there and starts making tea and talking a mile a minute about Quakerism and her Peace Testimony and anti-war stuff, while throwing in details about her sister’s latest operation (she occasionally takes a breath) and she says by the time she’s got the tea on the table, they’ve got a desperate look on their faces and bolt as soon as possible. They never come back either.
minachica
@Svensker: I’m an ex-JW (from birth) and I find it surprising that Peace Testimony would scare off any JWs (although who knows?). The JWs I’ve known would (and have) gone to prison as conscientious objectors rather than serve in any military. It’s one of the reasons I’m a liberal despite a very conservative upbringing.
Chris Johnson
But I don’t HAVE flippers :(
:D
Fulcanelli
Re: Jehovahs… Years ago I worked with a very pretty 16 year old JW girl (I was in my late 20’s at the time) who worked as a cashier for the store I worked for. She came in to work one Saturday morning all sleepy eyed and yawning and I asked her why so tired, and she told me she had been out ‘canvassing’ from midnight to six AM with a friend from her church (who was also a 16 year old girl) at the Providence, RI bus station.
2 pretty, 16 year old females were sent out to recruit unescorted, in the middle of the night at a dingy city bus station. It’s amazing they made it home at all…
Idiots.
WereBear
I once scared off two JW’s by responding to their question, “Do you ever think about God?” by answering, “Yes, all the time. Like when I see the beautiful wild flowers, and think how God put them there to make us happy. The gorgeous blue sky, the trees, all of nature makes us happy. Don’t you think God wants us to be happy?”
At this point I had the younger one nodding and smiling and ready to be a Pagan, but the middle-aged one grabbed her by the arm and ran off.
I hadn’t even gotten to the pitch!
Ed Marshall
I just say “I don’t give a damn about Jesus” and smile. That’s usually all it takes.
Jolly Roger
The Rushpubliscums, like their Nazi teachers, simply cannot accept that they aren’t in power. Power is all that matters; the ends justify the means. If a few Federal employees, or politicians, or those at the top of the political system have to be sacrificed, oh well-you have to break some eggs to make an omelette.
Betsy
@Fulcanelli:
Holy cow, at Kennedy Plaza? How long ago was this? It wasn’t too bad when I was in college but it still wasn’t great, esp. not after midnight. And that was after downtown was cleaned up.
Heck, maybe they *do* have God on their side.
AnotherBruce
@John O:
Yes, this jibes quite nicely with the Mayan calendar, I can hardly wait.
AnotherBruce
@Cat Lady:
Crap, Cat Lady beat me to it. That’s what I get for being on the West Coast.
You have to wake up pretty.early.in-the-morning to get one up on the Juicers.
TheWatcher
@bago: I must say, that picture is the closest artistic rendering of the horror of the Lovecraft vision I have ever seen. Truly terrifying.
I hope Lovecraft really was just messing around, ’cause if the Old Ones are real, we are truly f*cked.
TenguPhule
So that caught you coming *and* going.
BethanyAnne
@Svensker: Aye. When the Mormons came by, I let them in. Eight visits later, they got tired of pushing water uphill. I viewed it as the cheapest entertainment evah. :-)
What strikes me as obnoxious is the bit about Census folk maybe having criminal records. WTF? Folk with records still have to work *somewhere*. Or would he rather they come by and rob his house because they can’t get a paying job? Maybe ex-cons have a higher rate of commiting crimes from their Census gigs, maybe they don’t. I dunno, but I’m willing to take the risk. Somedays, I think that a comfort with a bit of risk is the thing that makes me least like my fellow ‘mericans.
Tattoosydney
@BethanyAnne:
Yes, because then they would get caught and go to jail where they deserve to be, while simultaneously reinforcing his view of the world and the haves and the have nots. Everyone wins.
Anne Laurie
Well, John Cole grew up as a Republican — does that count? (ducks)
Anne Laurie
@BethanyAnne:
Seriously? “We” don’t want to pay census workers a decent wage, so the only people who take the job are either desperate or have their own agendas, or both. It’s the same reason that finding childcare workers and school bus drivers with “dangerous” pasts is a staple for every local news station during a slow week and/or sweeps month. Someone who’s been branded a felon or a sexual predator can’t (legally) hold an ever-expanding range of jobs, can’t get tuition assistance to improve their skills, can’t live in public housing — they’re basically branded Fair Game forever. And, yeah, some of these people don’t deserve to wander around unsupervised… but “we” don’t want to pay for proper supervision (whether parole or mental health assistance) either. They’re a homegrown version of the Scary Illegal Alien boogeymonster — a class of disposable people.
Mac from Oregon
When they come to the door I act excited to see them and tell them they are just in time to help me hold the goat for my weekly sacrifice to Satan in the back yard. I usually get to say something like “Praise Satan!” to their rapidly retreating backsides before they are out of ear shot.
I have a small brass plaque by the door saying that “Visitors may be Converted.”
Halloween is the best season for keeping the JW’s away from the house, just put a witch on the door, Mormons may still knock, but no JW’s.
mslarry
goddamn republican assholes… i’m a buddhist and they make it hard, so very hard to want peace for the entire world. also
tc125231
@bago: What a wonderful vision.
tc125231
@minachica: Since you had this experience, can you explain WHY they want additional conversions? Aren’t there already more JWs than can be saved, according to their dogma?
Just asking….
Xanthippas
I guess you can question the guy’s motives (he is a Republican after all) but it seems to me like even non-Republicans might want to know if the guy/gal coming to their door is a convicted felon. I mean, I would.
Prospero
So congressmen are picking cues from Dan Riehl now? WTF?
toujoursdan
@tc125231: In JW theology 144,000 go to heaven, the rest of the True Believers live in an earthly paradise for eternity and everyone else is extinguished in fire.
Lovely, eh?
kay
@Xanthippas:
You should probably question his motives.
1. This is the first census where they’ve conducted fingerprint matches on census workers at all. In other words, this is the first time anyone knew if a census worker had a criminal background verified through the FBI fingerprint database. He forgot to say that.
2. the fingerprints came back as “unclassifiable” because they were collected improperly. He’s using an extrapolated number.
You’re safer with the 2010 census workers than with any prior census.
The background checks for 2010 are more extensive, not less.
I question his motives. I think we should run his prints, actually. He’s dishonest. He might have lied on his voluntary disclosure form.
plasticgoat
For a party that seems to be afraid of murderers and rapists it is amazing how many of them voted against Al Franken’s amendment. Hypocrisy? Say it isn’t so.
Wile E. Quixote
@SiubhanDuinne
Do what I did to the Mormons when they woke me up too bloody early one morning several years ago.
1) Get out of bed.
2) Put on pair of shorts
3) Grab crutches
4) Go to front door. Open door. Listen to brief spiel about Mormonism. At the end of the spiel ask, pointedly “If I worship your Mormon God will my leg grow back” while pointing at stump of your left leg.
5) Observe stunned silence as missionaries uncomfortably look at a hairy guy wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and standing on crutches with a bare and naked stump. Gently close door.
YMMV but the Mormons haven’t bothered me since.
Wile E. Quixote
@Makewi
Yes, and while he’s at it Representative Chaffetz should also warn his constituents about Catholic priests, youth pastors of all denominations and former congressman Mark Foley, (R, Florida).
Bob
On the bright side, mostly right wingnuts will not open their door, will not be counted and therefore will lose Congresion representation. As long as more workers aren’t killed, this might be a good thing.