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I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

We still have time to mess this up!

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

The revolution will be supervised.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

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When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Shameless nutpicking

Shameless nutpicking

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I figure everyone could use a laugh today, so I’m linking to this ridiculous post based on some kind of a right-wing chain-email hoax about a recent AirTran flight that was delayed. The gist of it is that someone’s been sending around an email saying that there was a bunch of Muslims watching porn, screaming into their cellphones, and calling people “infidel dogs” before take-off and that this indicates that the whole thing was a dry run for a terrorist attack. Because that’s what terrorists do: they try to draw attention to themselves when they’re preparing for an attack. Steve M. does a good job of dissecting all the craziness.

The comments are predictably funny in general, but this one stood out:

There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

Maybe this is just the Diet Dr. Pepper talking, but I think that phrase may have legs.

Reader Interactions

179Comments

  1. 1.

    calipygian

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but one sure fire way investigators use to determine if a story is bullshit or not is an overabundance of specific details.

    Real eyewitness accounts are less specific and often wrong in specific details and different eyewitnesses to an event often give contradictory accounts.

  2. 2.

    cmorenc

    A good yarn-spinner could supply PLENTY of detail to make a story seem alive and true. A good pathological liar can keep people convinced things are true for a very long time, just ask Bernie Madoff.

  3. 3.

    SpotWeld

    There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

    Spoken like someone who has never read a Star Wars fanfic.

  4. 4.

    gnomedad

    There is no question the radicals and terrorists are feeling their oats under the new administration

    You betcha.

  7. 7.

    Kennedy

    There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

    Instant BJ Lexicon classic if you ask me.

  9. 9.

    Shameless Toady

    I’ve seen a few people today whining about how long it takes to get their whining posted. Well let me tell you, when it comes to have my bloviating comments posted. When I actually see my rants posted all I feel is like something from Wayne’s World . I am not worthy…I am not worthy. I am so pathetic. I am going now going down the hall to alphabetize my socks. :^) If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane

  10. 10.

    cyntax

    @aimai:

    Ignoring for a moment how one dances in Arabic, I’m kind of fascinated by the idea that the people were able to discern that particular dialect of Arabic was being spoken. Obviously the witnesses were quite fluent.

  11. 11.

    Mako

    I just wanted to mention that i have nothing better to do, so i will comment. Hi!

    But seriously, where there is smoke there is fire. Everyone remembers Building 7, right?

    We are all James Woods today.

  16. 16.

    Leelee for Obama

    @Kennedy: You beat me! This is full of win!

    I thank you, Doug for the chuckles, it has lifted my spirits to no end! Perhaps I won’t go to bed this eve thinking, “We’re doomed!”

  18. 18.

    DCPlod

    “you WILL go sit down or you Will be thrown from this plane!”

    Lame. A true patriot would’ve yelled ‘Yippee ki-ay motherfucker!”

  20. 20.

    GeneJockey

    There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

    Merely corroborative detail intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.

  21. 21.

    Cap'n Phealy

    We are seeing the birth of a new internet tradition. Be aware of it, if you wish to maintain your awareness of all internet traditions.

  22. 22.

    M. Bouffant

    And let me pick some more from the same nut:

    Ever since 9/11, I’ve been firmly resolved to strike first (and take any lumps later) at the first sign of any Muslim bullshit ANYWHERE, not just on planes.

    At the very first sign: “WOLVERINES!!”

  23. 23.

    Makewi

    Snopes calls the story a Mixture. I am not James Woods, but I do appreciate the way in which he smites vampires. He’s no Buffy, but still.

  24. 24.

    Colette

    The comment I loved is this one:

    The terrorists have accomplished what they wanted…they have frozen the American way of travel.

    Seriously, “frozen the American way of travel”? That’s what they wanted? And all this time I thought they wanted us to cower in fear, or salaam before their evil Muslin idol, or stop eating fried pork products, or something. How disappointing. I was all ready to get fitted for a burqa.

  25. 25.

    SpotWeld

    I think it was on “Criminal Minds” (or another one of those proceedural dramas), but it was suggested that people recalling an actual event generally only know a few specific details and can only give a general account of the events. Conversely people making up a story will feel compelled in embellesh and increase the detail with each retelling.

    That’s all pop psychology, but it makes you wonder.

  26. 26.

    Midnight Marauder

    Sweet Baby Jesus, that link is so chock full o’ win. I mean, what else is there to say about a passage like the following besides “There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.”

    In the back of the plane at this time, 2 younger Muslims, one in the back, isle, and one in front of him, window, began to show footage of a porno they had taped the night before, and were very loud about it. Now….they are only permitted to do this prior to Jihad. If a Muslim man goes into a strip club, he has to view the woman via mirror with his back to her. (don’t ask me….I don’t make the rules, but I’ve studied).

    Wow, the helicopters certainly are laughing today! I mean, are we talking about Islam here or a fucking four-square game?

  27. 27.

    danimal

    I kept waiting for the part where the protagonist rallied his fellow passengers, saying, “Let’s roll” as he derailed the takeover attempt.

  28. 28.

    gwangung

    Ever since 9/11, I’ve been firmly resolved to strike first (and take any lumps later) at the first sign of any Muslim bullshit ANYWHERE, not just on planes.

    He and this guy should get along JUSSSSST fine….

  30. 30.

    mantis

    There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

    Does this mean Middle Earth is real? Time to brush up on my Elvish.

  32. 32.

    Legalize

    I like that the story-teller, who was sitting in first class, knew that the fellas in the back were watching porn they had recorded the night before. Because he’s studied.

  33. 33.

    Dreggas

    further this could not be a fabrication because we all know that all religious zealots love to scream infidel dog while watching porno…

  36. 36.

    chrome agnomen

    ‘too much detail…’

    the same people that whine when the president doesn’t frame a complex concept in 20 or fewer one syllable words.

    M O R O N S

  37. 37.

    cyntax

    we all know that all religious zealots love to scream infidel dog while watching porno…

    At whom exactly are they yelling infidel dog? I just haven’t studied up enough on this whole jihad-porno connection.

  38. 38.

    DougJ

    And all mirrored strip clubs should be shut down immediately.

    If you outlaw mirrored strip clubs, only outlaws will visit mirrored strip clubs.

  39. 39.

    jetan

    I don’t think I’ve heard the phrase “infidel dogs” since I stopped reading Tarzan comic books. Do you suppose they are anything like Hebrew Franks?

  40. 40.

    DCPlod

    I love that it’s got every single hallmark of wingnut writing as well.

    CAPSLOCK? Check.

    Poor/non-existent grammar? Check.

    Punctuation, exclamation mark abuse? Check.

    A variation of “This is absolutely 100% true!” repeated over and over? Check.

  41. 41.

    Comrade Mary

    (don’t ask me….I don’t make the rules, but I’ve studied).

    This is a gem. It should be gilded and kept on a silk pillow.

  42. 42.

    Midnight Marauder

    @DougJ:

    If you outlaw mirrored strip clubs, only outlaws will visit mirrored strip clubs.

    And with that, my monitor was rendered useless. Thanks a lot, DougJ. The one laugh you give me all day…

  43. 43.

    Brachiator

    There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

    DougJ – I don’t know why you are wasting valuable time posting stuff like this here. Don’t you know that the world is going to end on December 19, 2012 Mayan Standard Time and we all need to prepare? Or get ready for the Rapture? Or something.

    I know this is true because… because there is far too much detail about it for this to be a fabrication.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but one sure fire way investigators use to determine if a story is bullshit or not is an overabundance of specific details.

    Posted on a blog or sent via email, not in any newspaper or any other verifiable source. A friend of a friend of a friend told me. It’s was on Fox, but I don’t know exactly when. Evidence of liberal government lying/sweeping things under the rug. Just wow.

    It’s a wingnut Urban Legend Template. Just add stupidity and a touch of bigotry and away you go….

  44. 44.

    Sly

    @Mr. Bouffant:
    I, for one, feel extremely safe knowing there are patriotic Americans who will immediately attack upon seeing any sign of brown-skinned uppityness.

  45. 45.

    trollhattan

    @ danimal

    I kept waiting for the part where the protagonist rallied his fellow passengers, saying, “Let’s roll” as he derailed the takeover attempt.

    Now that you mention it, a false mooslum scare would be a nice ruse for commandeering the drinks cart. “Copious tiny bottles for me and my friends!”

  46. 46.

    DougJ

    The one laugh you give me all day…

    Between you and Brandon, it’s been a tough audience here today.

  47. 47.

    GeneJockey

    @SpotWeld:

    Dear Penthouse Forum, I always thought these letters were fake, until the most amazing thing happened to me one night on Tatooine….

  48. 48.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Anyone got any good turkey recipes? I made turkey, then turkey soup. Now I got a big bag full of turkey meat I pulled off the bones and nothing to do with it.

  49. 49.

    Anonymous visitor from Sadly,No!

    Since GeneJockey beat me to the Mikado quotation,

    The terrorists have accomplished what they wanted…they have frozen the American way of travel.
    Actually I think the Cheney Administration accomplished that.

  51. 51.

    valdivia

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Turkey Risotto, I did this a couple of years ago. chop some onion, put it in a good pan, some butter, braise the onion until golden, then add some sage and rosemary chopped fine, then add the turkey. once all of this is mixed, add the arborio, and begin ladling beef or vegetable stock (mixed with 5 cups of water). when the consistency is soft but with a bite in the center) pull of the fire, add more butter and pecorino and voila!

  52. 52.

    Jay B.

    Frankly, I feel for the non-existent terrorists in this story. Imagine going on a suicide mission and for the last few hours or so you have to ride AirTran coach.

  53. 53.

    ellaesther

    Ok, as we’ve tilted over into Open Thread land, and Middle Earth has come up, I want to share with people who will understand:

    Over the past several nights, I watched the entire extended version of LOTR for the first time in a couple of years, and good God almighty, that is some damn wonderful cinema right there. I wept like a child, and I have seen these movies at least four times!

    “…for Frodo.” Ah!

  55. 55.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    With some melted cheese and your turkey meat, you can fashion a Turkey Model Airplane. When the cheese cools, the thing will be as strong as a 747.

    Or, layer turkey into a steel pan and cover with aluminum foil, and create a Turkey Battery. The battery is working when holes develop in the foil as the galvanic action takes metal out of the foil.

    There is no limit to the fun you can have with turkey.

  57. 57.

    Midnight Marauder

    The comments on that “story” really are where most of the gems are. To wit:

    Good Christ, I’m just hoping your BLOG doesn’t disappear, as part of the suppression effort.

    Right. The suppression effort? Of morans? Because I think all reasonable people can support that kind of movement. Especially since it’s not happening nearly fast enough these days.

    It is indeed odd that the story was sanitized to that degree … especially with so many passengers involved directly.

    “Odd.” I do not think that word means what you think it means.

    This story is complete BS. There is no way another flight crew was on that plane 5 minutes after the original crew left.

    Right. Because that is where the story really starts to fall apart. It certainly wouldn’t be moments like “I then grabbed the 2nd man and said, “You WILL do the same!” He protested but adrenaline was flowing now and he was going to go.” Nope, that has to be real. I mean, look at all that detail! There’s a second man–and he protested! People are getting grabbed by roughneck Texans! Adrenaline! Terrorist have to go!

    There’s far too much fabric here for this to be a doily.

    I don’t know who from here wrote that over there, but I put my money on Just Some Fuckhead. Although, apparently, on that site he goes by the name “Grandma Beejay.”

  58. 58.

    General Winfield Stuck

    . Don’t you know that the world is going to end on December 19, 2012 Mayan Standard Time and we all need to prepare?

    Actually, I think the Mayan’s are jumping the gun by about a month., When concerned libtards elect Presnit Palimitt Saramny and it is sworn in as leader of the free world for white people——^on circa 1-19-12 Year of The Dragon.

    I will have my plastic unicorn and Jelly sandwiches for the trip to Hell.

  59. 59.

    Jay B.

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Turkey chili. Get your cumin nice and toasted, add, onions, peppers, garlic, black pepper, a little salt, whatever other spice you might want and tomato paste, saute for a spell, toss in your turkey, add broth and then let it simmer for a couple hours. A perfect autumn meal.

  66. 66.

    Will

    Maybe this is just the Diet Dr. Pepper talking, but I think that phrase may have legs.

    This is how realignments happen.

  70. 70.

    Leelee for Obama

    There’s far too much fabric here for this to be a doily.

    This may be the funniest thing any wingnut, or faux-wingnut has EVAH written. I do believe I hurt myself.

  72. 72.

    Zifnab

    @valdivia:

    conservatives think being called a teabagger is like being called a n****r.

    Do they really think that? Or are they just trying to work more instances of niggger into casual conversation.

  73. 73.

    MikeJ

    @jeffreyw: Looks like you used biscuits. I used puff pastry in mine. The biscuits almost make me think more of turkey and dumplings. Many roads to Rome.

    With my leftovers I made pot pies, enchiladas, and Frenchiladas (crepes).

  74. 74.

    FlipYrWhig

    @jetan:

    I don’t think I’ve heard the phrase “infidel dogs” since I stopped reading Tarzan comic books. Do you suppose they are anything like Hebrew Franks?

    Our precious falafel shall not touch such unclean hands. You must make do with Infidel Dogs! OK, yes, yes, my friend, we also have a heathenburger.

  76. 76.

    General Winfield Stuck

    conservatives think being called a teabagger is like being called a n****r.

    nagger

  77. 77.

    Midnight Marauder

    @Zifnab:

    Do they really think that? Or are they just trying to work more instances of niggger into casual conversation?

    I don’t know this time…

    When I was growing up, in Ann Arbor, Mich., there was a little debate: Should school officials try to prevent black students from using the N-word? I don’t believe the issue was ever settled. And this brings up the question of whether “teabagger” could be kind of a conservative N-word: to be used in the family, but radioactive outside the family.

  84. 84.

    Leelee for Obama

    @ellaesther: Yeah, I tear up just thinking about the scene with Frodo and Samwise after the Ring is destroyed, when Sam talks about his love.

    And the coronation scene, when Aragron, tell s the Hobbits they bow to no man.

    Classic stuff.

  85. 85.

    Dreggas

    When I was growing up, in Ann Arbor, Mich., there was a little debate: Should school officials try to prevent black students from using the N-word? I don’t believe the issue was ever settled. And this brings up the question of whether “teabagger” could be kind of a conservative N-word: to be used in the family, but radioactive outside the family.

    well i’d just like to see them try to do the secret handshake in public and not get picked up for violating indecency laws…

  86. 86.

    Zifnab

    @Midnight Marauder: Tea bagging was an offensive term well before the mad summer of ’09. I mean, if they start branding themselves cock jockeys, does the phrase magically stop meaning something offensive so long as they say it?

    They’re doubling down, just like conservatives always do. If you look stupid now and people don’t agree with you even inside your own party, purge the dissenters and call your opponents stupid and vulgar. Then keep on doing what you’re doing.

  87. 87.

    ellaesther

    @Leelee for Obama: That was it, man, those two scenes precisely! And, uh, a couple more…. But those two in particular. Wowie.

    @Shawn in ShowMe: I wish there were some way to create in print that awful accent of Hugo Weaving — my husband and I agree that he was just about the only really insufferable casting choice. And he is usually so good!

    @JK – And he has wrested the ring back from W!

  88. 88.

    chopper

    There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

    indeed. it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    and yes, far too much detail to be fake. that’s why i firmly believe that the lord of the rings saga actually occured.

  89. 89.

    valdivia

    so I have a non facetious question. Is Sam stein from HuffPo a serious journalist? Because he has a story right now posted on the site saying that Biden’s position in the administration is ‘in question’. No actual sources say this, he uses the lazy, some say. WTF? Will the idiocy never end?

  91. 91.

    Bobby Thomson

    If you want some quality nutpicking, check out the KFC stuff from Crazy Pam over at TBogg’s.

  97. 97.

    chopper

    @JK:

    With all the references to Middle Earth so far, someone should give some props to Narnia.

    alright. that quote was totally ‘narnical’.

  98. 98.

    LM

    There’s far too much detail here for this to be a fabrication.

    Someone needs to send this guy a DVD of the Usual Suspects!

  103. 103.

    gocart mozart

    Put your leftover turkey bits in a small bag and mail them to Michele Bachmann. If one person does it she will just think you are weird. If two do it she will think it is a conspiracy. If many do it will be a movement.

  104. 104.

    Brandon

    @DougJ

    Between you and Brandon, it’s been a tough audience here today.

    I have not been lamenting your work, just the fact that there was not a lot of material to work with today. Apparently, even that idiot Jim Bunning was making sense today at the Bernacke hearing. What a day, eh? It’s a topsy turvy world.

  105. 105.

    BethanyAnne

    Yeps, looks like open thread territory. Anyone know a good cat rescue place in the Boston area? A Warcraft guildie of mine was asking.

  107. 107.

    Annie

    “Now….they are only permitted to do this prior to Jihad. If a Muslim man goes into a strip club, he has to view the woman via mirror with his back to her. (don’t ask me….I don’t make the rules, but I’ve studied).”

    WTF!!! I don’t know what he studied, but believe me the guy is either an idiot or a fraud or both.

    Having recently been in Beirut and having gone to see a “belly dancer” (and, while I have seen wonderful dancers in the past, this particular dancer was less belly and more other things), Muslim men in the crowd were definitely NOT viewing her through a mirror — particularly those that ended up with a lap dance during the show…In fact, I think I was the only one in the club without a lap dance….

    I am still blushing…

  110. 110.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    If anyone is in Phoenix and looking for something to do, it’s Drinking Liberally night here, George and Dragon, Central Ave, starting now.

    We’re going to graze on over there soon and swish some flies with the local Dems and trash Joe Arpaio.

    Your first drink is on me if you just say moo.

  113. 113.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    BTW, thank you to the 130 (and counting) folks that clicked on the naked ex-girlfriend link to unlock all the photos for me. John was right to pull the ad: there were no naked pictures of Lena and the four “hot” videos promised at 30 or more clicks never showed up.

    Is there no decency left in this world?

  114. 114.

    Noonan

    I’m pretty sure this will be used as Exhibit A in a future hate crime trial:

    Ever since 9/11, I’ve been firmly resolved to strike first (and take any lumps later) at the first sign of any Muslim bullshit ANYWHERE, not just on planes.

  115. 115.

    MikeJ

    Your first drink is on me if you just say moo.

    So one would have to wander around the bar and say moo to everyone present before they have a drink? I’d be much more likely to do that after having had several.

  118. 118.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Brandon:

    Watch the senate on cspan when you have the chance, and the wingnuts watb’s crying for help and losing every amendment vote. Of course, they could end up winning the war in the end, but not now.

    All this other chatterboxing around and about is white noise. What matters now are the two chambers of congress when they call for yeas and nays.

    And the presnit, of course.

  119. 119.

    Woodrowfan

    so in other words there was a brown person on an airplane who didn’t speak English and he had an argument with a stewardess. my God these rights are such bedwetters…

  122. 122.

    Jim Once

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Turkey enchiladas: Fry chopped/shredded turkey in olive oil w/fresh garlic or garlic powder; pour and stir in Pace salsa, just enough to lightly cover the meat; roll turkey up in flour tortillas, fold ends in, and line up in baking pan (9′ X 11′). Cover tortillas with one small package of shredded monterey jack cheese (or cheddar or even mozzarella, if you’re the kind of cook I am); if you have cream or half n half, pour a half cup over the whole thing; if you don’t have it, just pour milk. Bake at 350 degrees until cheese is light brown.

    What I love about this recipe isn’t just how easy it is, but how i can substitute when the real deal cheese and cream isn’t around. It still tastes just as good. A story about this: Shortly after my mom died, my sister prepared this for my dad, covering it w/clear plastic wrap and attaching a note telling him to place it in the oven. He did – with plastic wrap and note.

  125. 125.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Jim Once: That’s a great story and a great recipe. I may try it tomorrow. I did turkey pot pie with biscuit crust tonight and it turned out perfect. Thank you jeffreyw.

  129. 129.

    Jim Once

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Wow, you’re fast. Hope you like it. I’m back to my Wire in the Blood extravaganza -all six seasons. Son gave us Roku, and I am so enjoying immediate Netflix downloads to our TV.

  130. 130.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @MBSS: Haha. That would make an excellent tag so those crazy bastards could zero right in on the “good” posts. But I think protocol forbids me from suggesting it as a tag since I thunked it up. :)

  131. 131.

    valdivia

    @Jim Once:

    I love Wired in the Blood. Even watched the so so movie they made where he is in Texas (I think). The books are excellent btw, but Robson Green is great in this (and well I think he is also the hawt, but that is beside the point)

  132. 132.

    Jim Once

    @MBSS:Awwww – too adorable. Actually, it reminds me of our three month old granddaughter, who does exactly the same thing, with smiles. I want another kitty! (Can’t, though – daughter-in-law is dangerously allergic to them.)

  133. 133.

    Jim Once

    @valdivia:

    Robson Green is great in this (and well I think he is also the hawt, but that is beside the point)

    I totally agree about the hawtness – one (only one) reason I can’t stop watching this – even though I’m a 60+ year old woman.

  135. 135.

    valdivia

    @Jim Once:

    Oh I think age has nothing to do with it! :-)
    I am always susceptible to brainy men, one thing that makes this character doubly hawt even if green is hawt all on his own.

  136. 136.

    Brick Oven Bill

    I will never submit to Mohammed’s Allah. But should Ted Nugent see the light and grab the torch, send me a prayer rug.

    Porn is widespread in the Muslim world. This is because Mohammed established a near perfect military system for the pre-gunpowder world. Allocating the Muslim-Alpha four wives established three male Muslims without a human sexual release.

    Mastrubation is haram in Islam, creating a Beta war machine to seize land for the prodigy of the Muslim Alphas.

    All that is needed for Islamic world domination is the embrace of the Seven Liberal Arts.

  137. 137.

    Annie

    @MBSS:

    The kitty and “JK entrance wedding dance” on You Tube are now my favorite viewings after a long day at work…They both make me laugh…

  139. 139.

    South of I-10

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Turkey wraps. I usually use ground turkey, but I think it would work if you chopped it pretty fine. Brown some onion and bell pepper, add your turkey, add a can of rotel and a can of (drained) black beans. Let it cook down. Right before you are ready to serve, add about a cup of corn. Wrap your mix up in a tortilla with some cheese and sour cream. Quick and easy, I do this after work sometimes.

  140. 140.

    MikeJ

    Fuck the beavers. That’s less sexual than it sounds. I mean, I understand fuck is a sexual word, but in common parlance it often means to wish ill to. The beavers in this case are not slang for genitalia, but the mascot of Orygun State.

    In other words, go ducks.

  143. 143.

    Jim Once

    @MikeJ: No need to explain either ‘fuck’ or ‘the Beavers.’ My husband’s family live in Eugene, Orygun, and we are currently receiving frenzied e-mails and Facebook messages about ducks and beavers.

  144. 144.

    Wordsmith

    @calipygian:

    Having been one of the best bullshitters around way back in my drinkin & druggin’ days, the one thing I learned about lying was don’t offer too much in the way of details. Details fuck ya up. Course that didn’t always stop me from prevaricating or simply embellishing.

    That one simple line was truly LMAO – out loud & long moments

  145. 145.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam said:

    ‘Allah Taãla will inflict a punishment on a group of people because they played with their private parts.’

    Attaa said:

    ‘Some people will be resurrected in such a condition that their hands will be pregnant, I think they are those who masturbate.’

    It is a mistake to underestimate Islam. These guys are fighters. This is because they have no sexual release. See also Orwell’s 1984.

  146. 146.

    Jim Once

    @Annie: I’m with you, Annie, on the entrance wedding dance. I’ve watched it so many times – it makes me want to get married all over again.

  147. 147.

    Jim Once

    Somebody help me here – I’m stranded at the end of a thread with Bill. It’s really creeping me out. Back to Wire in the Blood. For real.

  148. 148.

    Annie

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Please tell me you are trying to be funny here…otherwise I may have to refer to other religions that equally say stupid things about masturbation.

    @Jim Once:

    It is pure joy. I have watched it many times — particularly when I need to smile and relax…

  150. 150.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Orwell’s 1984 gives us Pornosec – Department of Minitrue. Produces the ‘lowest-kind’ of pornography for the proles.

    In the Novel, it is described as a ‘sub-section of the Fiction Department which turned out cheap pornography for distribution among the proles. It was nicknamed Muck House by the people who worked in it’. They ‘produced booklets in sealed packets with titles like Spanking Stories or One Night in a Girls’ School, to be bought furtively by proletarian youths who were under the impression that they were buying something illegal’.

    Pornsec is the opposite of Islam. Pornsec was established to pacify the population and keep them governable. Islam purposefully denies the sexual release, and keeps the population agitated.

    This is the difference between a settled population, and a nomadic population.

  153. 153.

    Anoniminous

    From the Mayo Clinic Website:

    Paranoid schizophrenia is one of several types of schizophrenia, a chronic mental illness in which reality is interpreted abnormally (psychosis). The classic features of paranoid schizophrenia are having beliefs that have no basis in reality (delusions) and hearing things that aren’t real (auditory hallucinations).
    With paranoid schizophrenia, your ability to think and function in daily life may be better than with other types of schizophrenia. You may not have as many problems with memory, concentration or dulled emotions. Still, paranoid schizophrenia is a serious, lifelong condition that can lead to many complications, including suicidal behavior. But with effective treatment, you can manage the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia and work toward leading a happier, healthier life.

    Generally speaking these people need, “Second-generation (atypical) antipsychotics. These newer antipsychotic medications are effective at managing hallucinations, delusions and other symptoms.”

  154. 154.

    Annie

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    I will take the bait. ” Pornsec was established to pacify the population and keep them governable. Islam purposefully denies the sexual release, and keeps the population agitated.”

    And, other forms of fundamentalism don’t???

    “This is the difference between a settled population, and a nomadic population.” Excuse me. The last time I checked, we in the US have a “settled” population, and there are conservative Christians who advocate the denial of sex outside marriage quite forcefully.

    Maybe it is late and I am missing something here.

  155. 155.

    Brick Oven Bill

    I’m filling the Christmas orders Annie. Americans do not buy Bibles, they buy video games and Transformers action figures.

  156. 156.

    Jim Once

    @Anoniminous: This is my daughter in law:

    With paranoid schizophrenia, your ability to think and function in daily life may be better than with other types of schizophrenia. You may not have as many problems with memory, concentration or dulled emotions. Still, paranoid schizophrenia is a serious, lifelong condition that can lead to many complications, including suicidal behavior.

    My personal experience with this is why I may also seem to be over-reacting to Bill. Seriously – I am very worried about him.

  157. 157.

    evinfuilt

    After reading the first comment on that… Well, thats absolute proof that Republicans are all bed wetters.

  159. 159.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Jim Once:

    You shouldn’t worry about BoB. He is a racist clown is all. Otherwise normal. and fairly well educated, I think. Whoever said “a mind is a terrible thing to waste” does not read Balloon Juice.

  160. 160.

    gocart mozart

    Ruminations on the effect a society’s mores regarding masturbation has on a functioning democracy and how it relates to that society’s evolution in the development of gunpowder. Also cute kitten videos. This is why I love Balloon Juice.

  164. 164.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Orwell’s 1984 gives us Pornosec – Department of Minitrue. Produces the ‘lowest-kind’ of pornography for the proles.

    Hmmmm… if I’m not mistaken… and I rarely am… you seem to be describing Fox News there…

    Rupert is one of the world’s leading pornographers, ya know…

  165. 165.

    dSquib

    Only the stuff in the comments is eligible for the BJ lexicon, I reckon. The original entry, while hilarious, appears to be written by a giften comedian, well versed in wingnut thinking and knowing all the right points to hit on. Maniacal Muslims, MSM cover-up, PC excess leading to deadly outcomes. It’s all there. I think they added the porn thing with a veneer of logic, just to see how much they could get away with.

  167. 167.

    Ian

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    It is a mistake to underestimate Islam. These guys are fighters. This is because they have no sexual release. See also Orwell’s 1984.

    You’re an idiot.

  168. 168.

    Gravenstone

    @jetan:

    I don’t think I’ve heard the phrase “infidel dogs” since I stopped reading Tarzan comic books. Do you suppose they are anything like Hebrew Franks?

    Some instinct warned me against taking a deep draft of my diet Dew prior to reading your post. Just as well, for my monitor (and the company IT moran) thank that inner voice for sparing what would have been a scene most unsightly.

  169. 169.

    raptusregaliter

    Since I live in Atlanta, I got to hear about this incident on the local news. From what I remember, all that happened was there were some Muslims or non-English speakers or whatever who were using cellphones. The only problem that really arose was that only one member of this group was an English speaker. This led to a certain amount of annoyance and confusion as the crew tried to get the people to turn off their phones. I remember there was a delay, and some people didn’t want to continue on, but the story was so inconsequential that it lasted only 3 days tops in the news cycle.

    The rest is just typical wingnut hysteria.

  172. 172.

    Remember November

    I was on a plane ride back from Hawaii and unfortunately, in the back with a bunch of obnoxious passengers who wouldn’t sit down and buckle in. The captain had to get on the loudspeaker and admonish them and say he wasn’t taking off until they did. Their nationality: Isreali.

    Guess we can add them to the DHS no fly list.

  173. 173.

    Lex

    @Colette: Actually, what they said at the time they wanted was for U.S. forces to leave Saudi Arabia. And they did. So, strictly speaking, the terrorists have won.

  174. 174.

    Hob

    @Remember November: According to every Israeli I’ve ever met, one of the citizenship requirements is that you are, or learn to be, incredibly rude. The national self-stereotype is sort of New York City times 1000. The ones I met who told me this were actually very nice, but maybe they cut loose when they’re on an airplane.

    Stop me if you’ve heard this one before–my ex, a former kibbutznik, cracks herself up with it every time: A reporter is doing man-on-the-street interviews during an agricultural crisis. She goes up to a Russian, an American, and an Israeli, and asks them: “Excuse me, can you tell me how you’ve been affected by the current shortage of meat?” The American says, “What is ‘shortage’?” The Russian says, “What is ‘meat’?” The Israeli says, “What is ‘excuse me’?”

  177. 177.

    scarshapedstar

    I’m sure you’ve all heard that the moon is made of green cheese, but did you know that’s it’s LIGHT green cheese, smells like cinnamon, and tastes like radishes? And it’s salty and crumbly!

    Now who could bullshit that, huh?

  178. 178.

    tenkindsagrumpy

    The winner comment at testing, testing IMO has to be; “there’s too much fabric here to be a doily”

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