It is that time of year again, folks. We are coming up on the end of December, so time to start nominating comments for the comment of the year. Here are some early nominees from yours truly.
The whole concept of the much hyped “Big Hollywood” blog is mind blowing. Change the politics of Hollywood with a blog composed of 3rd rate conservative blowhards? Uh, okay. Sure. And I’m going to change NASA through interpretive dance.
CNN is reporting a tentative deal with dems and Susan Collins for getting her support. No details but would trim the bill to 780 billion. I must say, I feel so much better now that Sue Collins is the lynchpin in getting this and future bills passed. It’s like Daffy Duck goes to Washington and saves the democrats from jaws of doom.
Seriously, the Republican nomination race in ‘08 was a metaphorical lineup of oiled posers at Venice Beach flexing for the lunatics passing by.
Bret:
All you have to do is waterboard the XP box, and it’ll give you all the data it has.
Yeah, this Michael Jackson coverage is way over the top.
You’d think we lost Tim Russert or something.
If you have a nominee, throw it in the comments. I need the name of the commenter, the comment, and if at all possible, a link.
Have fun.
smiley
I hereby nominate this comment to be the Comment of the Year.
max hats
wow, thanks! I’m flattered to get mentioned. I did a triple take when I loaded the page trying to figure out who else was using my name before I remembered typing that.
Notorious P.A.T.
It’s amazing: at the time it was obviously of Earth-shaking importance that we get the great Susan Collins on board. . . yet since then I haven’t thought of her once! How could that be?
Cat Lady
beltane:
General Winfield Stuck
LOL, I am honored. And of course want to thank Ma, Pa and especially The Academy. And Senor Cole to keep me brownie points up to snuff.
Demo Woman
Is it an indication that one has to much time on their hands if they remember reading all those comments? I’m surprised that my keyboard survived some of the comments.
arguingwithsignposts
I am a little disappointed that the helicopters aren’t joking hasn’t been mentioned. Mr. Gass was a classic.
John Cole
@arguingwithsignposts: Link?
kommrade reproductive vigor
Comrade Mary:
Nylund
And to think that there were moments when I doubted my plan to collect, sort, categorize, tag, and index every single Balloon-Juice comment of 2009.
General Winfield Stuck
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
I will second this, with the caveat that this comment scares me a little, but not in a bad way :-)
SGEW
Has it already been a year? My how time flies.
I have no nominee, truth be told. Too many good comments, not enough room in my brain.
Notorious P.A.T.
Future tag.
arguingwithsignposts
JC,
here ya go.
In all its glory:
Dougj,
The cops that tracked that balloon didn’t make jokes.
The helicopters didn’t make jokes.
The people making jokes are here…
And… they are wrong for doing it.
Notorious P.A.T.
I think the past year went by faster than the entire Bush administration.
Paul L.
https://balloon-juice.com/?p=31011#comment-1477754
Or maybe it will show he does not know what he is talking about.
Progressive defend this as Gore misspoke. But if Bush or Palin had said the same thing progressives would state it proves that the person is a moron and how little they know about “science” .
freelancer
Renato, RE: Dijiongate:
Jesus, Cole, that was like homework.
demkat620
There are just too many choices.
You all rock!
However, that ass-rabies thingy is the best.
smiley
@Demo Woman:
I’d say yes. That’s part of my motivation for my stupid comment @#1. One of the reasons this is
a fool’s errandimpossible is because very few of us, ahem, read all the comments on a thread before commenting. That said, however, maybe favorite comments don’t require the context of what’s already been said on the thread.Hmm… said on the thread. Hell, I might just git my gitar out.
Notorious P.A.T.
@Paul L.:
Could he have been JOKING with Conan O’Brien? No, that’s unpossible!
“But if Bush or Palin had said the same thing progressives would state it proves that the person is a moron”
That’s because Bush and Palin ARE morons.
Annie
@max hats:
It definitely is one of the best…..
Laura W
I’ve waited since the night Michael Jackson died for this moment!
AkaDad, June 25, 9:58pm.
Notorious P.A.T.
I think my favorite quote of the year was the tag “I Can No Longer Rationally Discuss the Clinton Campaign”.
Notorious P.A.T.
@Laura W:
Hahaha )
Annie
@freelancer:
LOL….
General Winfield Stuck
@Laura W:
I remember that one. Excellent choice for the pool.
Laura W
@Laura W: Oh for Fuck’s Sake! I can’t even get permission to edit my comment and I am pretty sure I did not fuck up the link to begin with. (AkaDad was rockin’ the house that night… all night…
Relax your mind
Lay back and groove with mine
You got to feel that heat
And we can ride the boogie
Share that beat of love
Hopefully, this is the correct link back to comment 56 in that 6/25 thread.
mr. whipple
@Laura W:
They are all good, but there’s just something about that one that is special.
Leelee for Obama
I wish I had bookmarked my favorites, I didn’t realize there was a contest. I must have missed it last year, How’d that happen? There are so many good one. Oh well, I’ll start now! When is the cut off?
I think it must count that the fo-shizzle made me spit on the monitor, right? So it’s definitely in the running. Likewise the MJ in the sandbox.
JenJen
For me, it has to be the recent, immediate classic from Zifnab:
Black dildo anuses (anii?) aside, woooohooooo Laura W in the hizzouse! This is going to be a fun evening.
Jenn
Too many comments to remember. Sadly, even the ones that had me laughing so hard I almost literally started rolling on the floor are now only vague memories. However, I have to admit widely sharing one of El Cid’s gems from the other day (wrt Dick Cheney, just in case you couldn’t tell merely from the quotation):
“That’s not breathing. That’s his internal equipment’s cooling ventilation releasing heat from the concentrated evil generator which powers him.”
– long-time lurker, first-time commenter
Yutsano
This thread is gonna bring out the worst in us. I can’t wait.
Annie
@Yutsano:
We can only hope!
geg6
Damn. I wish I was on a computer and not the Blackberry. Fuckhead had one the other night that might have been the best comment evah. Hope the contest is open come next week so I can search for it. Meanwhile, I plan to sit back and enjoy this thread.
CynDee
Tunch Cole:
John Cole:
Dad Cole:
asiangrrlMN
Good lord. This thread is gonna kill, I can just tell. I gotta trawl through the lexicon threads. There were some gems there.
geg6
Notorious Pat: I agree. I remember that well. Ha. Remember those golden days in the primaries when we thought we’d seen all the crazy possible?
MikeJ
From the lexicon:
“I have a recording of Mick Jagger’s voice where he admits killing the Kennedys.”
Jody
“Dump truck full of Hitlers” was not nominated. These awards are all just one big popularity contest anyway.
kommrade reproductive vigor
@Laura W: Damn, I didn’t see that one when it was fresh.
Damn.
Edit: I note that Ass Rabies has yet to be added to the lexicon. This cannot stand.
SiubhanDuinne
Is this an open thread? No?
Too bad, once again I am forced to go O/T.
Does anyone besides me really love *The Lion in Winter*? On TCM right now. What a truly wonderful film. Every line of dialogue, every performance by every actor (O’Toole! Hepburn! Hopkins!), every note of music. It’s just a terrific story.
As for COTY, there were so many I’m not sure I could choose just one. But I still remember lying in bed, following that whole “Balloon Boy” thread with the non-laughing helicopters on the BlackBerry, and simply weeping with mirth for about two hours straight. Everyone was just on fire that night.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Yutsano:
You’re right. This could be one of those epic threads. Fasten your seat belts. It’s gonna be a helluva ride.
Annie
@CynDee:
Awesome…….I can’t stop laughing…
Litlebritdifrnt
There have been so many brilliant comments this year (that all resulted in me spewing wine onto my monitor) that I am spoiled for choice. I shall have to go trawling and try to come up with them (the MJ one was up there in the top three however).
Laura W
@geg6: Not to nitpick, because that is just so not my style (choke, cough), that tag is from 2008. I only know that because it was the first tag I saw when I came over here via Sullivan on May 23 and read the first BJ post in my life. Not only did I love the post, I loved the tag. So I sorta stayed.
@kommrade reproductive vigor: The whole thread is hysterical if you can cull thru the repetitive BEST MJ SONG EVER stuff and just hone in on the jokes.
geg6
Siubhan Duinne @41: Lion in Winter is a fucking awesome film. And I’m with you on the Balloon Boy thread. I literally was crying with laughter and had to stop reading every now and again because I was afraid I’d pull a muscle. That should be Thread of the Year.
Bubblegum Tate
Wasn’t RedKitten’s “I can see the moon from my house, but that doesn’t make me an astronaut” comment from this year? If so, I think that one is the winner.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Bubblegum Tate:
That was last year’s winner. (I think)
asiangrrlMN
@geg6: I was in a bad mood that night so I skipped out early. When I revisited the thread the next day, I was laughing my nonexistent ass off.
arguingwithsignposts
Just a reminder, not only did Michael Gass produce the helicopters weren’t joking, but he also threatened to fax his documents.
asiangrrlMN
@arguingwithsignposts: Wasn’t it his credenza he threatened to fax?
Annie
This is great. I am settling in the for the night — book, wine, and reading this thread….Perfect.
arguingwithsignposts
@asiangrrlMN:
OMG, yes, the credenza. how could I forget.
John Cole
Not seeing too many nominees….
asiangrrlMN
@John Cole: Oh, keep your pants on, Cole. We’re just getting started.
debit
@SiubhanDuinne: I love that movie. God, the dialogue!
Eleanor: And when you die, which is regrettable but necessary, what will happen to frail Alais and her pruny prince? You can’t think Richard’s going to wait for your grotesque to grow.
Henry II: You wouldn’t let him do a thing like that.
Eleanor: Let him? I’d push him through the nursery door.
Henry II: You’re not that cruel.
Eleanor: Don’t fret. We’ll wait until you’re dead to do it.
Henry II: Eleanor, what do you want?
Eleanor: Just what you want, a king for a son. You can make more, I can’t. You think I want to disappear? One son is all I’ve got, and you can blot him out and call me cruel? For these ten years you’ve lived with everything I’ve lost, and loved another woman through it all, and I am cruel? I could peel you like a pear and God himself would call it justice!
mr. whipple
@arguingwithsignposts:
Oh man, I missed all that! What could I have been doing that was more important?
gnomedad
@asiangrrlMN:
He can’t. He’s cleaning the bathroom.
arguingwithsignposts
I’d nominate some BoB comments, but I don’t know where to start.
ihop
i think of the above list that max hats’ is the best; but i will say that the helicopters are not joking thread is the finest and funniest thing i was able to read on the ted steven’s memorial intertube’s all year.
Mark S.
That’s pretty damn funny.
It took me a while to find it, but I liked this comment from R-Jud. The context is songs Palin could sing for an upcoming album:
SiubhanDuinne
@geg6
@debit
One of the lovely joys in life — which I must do as a treat for myself very soon — is to watch *Becket* and *TLIW* back-to-back. Just unbelievably amazing to see O’Toole playing Henry II at very different ages and stages. Both brilliant screenplays based on some of the most interesting and exciting history of the last millenium.
arguingwithsignposts
dammit, just noticed Gass also cracked the WP code … with … his … ellipses.
SiubhanDuinne
@arguingwithsignposts
I don’t think most people want to read about Pie Of The Year.
Grace Nearing
@SiubhanDuinne: Love that movie. It crackles. Also made me go to the library and check out a bunch of biographies about Eleanor. What an extraordinary woman!
freelancer
Can I nominate someone from this thread?
https://balloon-juice.com/?p=15264&cpage=1#comment-1479441
Annie
@asiangrrlMN:
LOL. Just got another glass of wine…
Comrade Mary
@freelancer: Agreed! In fact, any John-cleaning-stuff-naked references are comedy gold.
I think he’s learned now that revealing personal foibles in front of the commentariat is as potentially embarrassing as swearing in front of a toddler.
debbie
@debit:
You left out:
Eleanor: What family doesn’t have its ups and downs?
I watched “A Man For All Seasons” today; another great movie.
SiubhanDuinne
@Grace Nearing
Oh, I know. It’s easy to do. I got hooked on Eleanor close to 50 years ago as a student at Northwestern and was assigned (I think I have this right) Amy Kelly’s Eleanor of Aquitaine and the Four Kings . At that time it was one of the very few Eleanor biographies out there — now of course there are many, as well as a fair collection of historical fiction about her. I also think Katherine Swynford (mistress and eventually third wife of John of Gaunt, and a key figure in the Wars of the Roses) is a fascinating character who lived during a rich and compelling period. Then there are the Tudors . . . .
bago
Umm. Santarchy?
SiubhanDuinne
@debbie: A Man for All Seasons is another great favourite. I haven’t seen it in a while; will have to pull out the DVD. Maybe I’ll just have a two-day orgy of my pet English History films during the holidays.
JGabriel
JenJen: Seconding JenJen’s nom of Zifnab’s “What happened to the carefree innocence* of the double wetsuit guy with black dildo anus?”
(*Although even in those years we had reports like this, about Pennsylvania’s 10th CD US House Rep. Don Sherwood (R-Misogynist): “On September 15, 2004, a woman locked herself inside the bathroom of Sherwood’s Washington, D.C. apartment, and called 911 to report she was assaulted. When police arrived, the woman, Cynthia Ore, accused Sherwood of choking her, though he maintained he was only giving her a backrub.”)
.
kommrade reproductive vigor
@gnomedad: OK, I nominate this one. Also.
asiangrrlMN
@kommrade reproductive vigor: Then I get an assist for the set-up!
HRA
It is hard to chose from the nominees. I like them all.
I know we have to nominate a commenter and still what makes me unable to stop laughing (even tearing from laughter) as I simply remember part of it is Tunch and the dishwasher episode.
debbie
@SiubhanDuinne:
I pulled out Man For All Seasons after reading Hilary Mantel’s Wolf Hall. Her view of More is really quite a change from the saint persona. And, that Henry VIII was one major [email protected]
kommrade reproductive vigor
@asiangrrlMN: Yeah, this contest needs a couples/team category.
The Dangerman
@freelancer:
I have to second this nominee…
…and for Goodness Sake’s, can we get a Ballon Boy thread link STAT! Thank you kindly.
Just in case He Who Shall Not Be Named hops in his lap, his pants had best be kevlar lined.
JGabriel
arguingwithsignposts:
I think we’d need different category for that. Something like, “Most Frighteningly Freudian”, or “Most No-Clue Neo-Con”.
Hell, we could do a whole thread on “Best Comebacks to BOB Posts”.
.
gnomedad
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
Thanks, everyone, this is so … meta.
@asiangrrlMN:
Your kickback is in the mail.
arguingwithsignposts
@The Dangerman:
Here ya go.
DougJ
I kind of like this one, too, from Corner Stone:
arguingwithsignposts
I’m assuming JC will not accept any Stillers smackdowns… Because some of those football open threads are full of win.
JGabriel
Speaking of bathroom cleaning, I nominate this post from Fulcanelli:
.
Betsy
Oh man, this thread is just what I needed for my night in with a glass of wine. I knew I didn’t need to be paying for cable.
Mike in NC
Whatever the “Comment of the Year for 2009” is, it will surely be considered very good news for John S. Fucking McCain, you betcha, and for our Center-Right nation as a whole. Details to follow tomorrow on ‘Meet The Press/Press The Meat’.
+3
RedKitten
Fuck, does that mean I have to give back my tiara?
RedKitten
Okay, that one made me snort wine out of my nose.
Yutsano
I have a stupid question. Instead of a comment, can we just nominate a thread of the year? Balloon Boy was so full of win all over the place it would be so tough to pick just one out of there.
SiubhanDuinne
@debbie: thanks for reminding me about Wolf Hall. Haven’t read it yet, but it’s on my list and just moved up.
asiangrrlMN
@JGabriel: From the same thread. I do not have JGab’s mad linking skills, but I nominate kommrade reproductive vigor, comment #78:
Ha. Pure comedy gold.
I gotta agree with Yutsano, though. Some of the threads are just chock-full of win and one comment can’t really be singled out.
arguingwithsignposts
@asiangrrlMN:
@Yutsano:
gotta agree with that. It would be hard to beat the Balloon Boy thread for win.
scav
o jesus, the naked mopping incident was this year?! It clearly attained mythic, monumental, epic status in negative time.
JGabriel
This post has become so legendary that I thought it was from last year. It’s hard to believe it’s less than a year old. It burns itself upon the retina of the mind’s eye in such a psychologically damaging manner that it feels as old as a childhood memory of trauma.
That said, I hereby nominate the infamous BOB post on The Chinese Restaurant And The Psychologically Formative Spectacular Toothless Lesbian Fight:
Oh yeah, if that’s not a winner, it’s gotta be an honorable mention of some kind — Craziest Post of the Year, maybe?
.
arguingwithsignposts
@JGabriel:
Wow, that’s something I missed. BoB appologizing for an inappropriate comment. Must have been in the pie filter.
Yutsano
@JGabriel: Craziest of the BoB could honestly be its own thread. Lots of great nominees too.
JGabriel
Oops. Forgot the link and didn’t hit edit in time: The Chinese Restaurant And The Psychologically Formative Spectacular Toothless Lesbian Fight — February 25, 2009.
.
Annie
@RedKitten:
LOL…
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
I’m not even going to try and pick a top comment to submit, I will leave that task to others. Why? Because it would make more sense to have the Worst BJ Comment of 2009 since just about every topic posted here has a gem or twelve in it…lol
Because there are so many great commentators here, why not have a Top Three BJ Comments? Picking only one just seems criminal with all of the comment talent we have on display here.
Just a thought from the peanut gallery. ;)
Michael D.
I nominate some comment this Michael D. made. Surely he has said SOMETHING witty this year!!
kommrade reproductive vigor
OK, I’m seconding or thirding the nomination of the entire Bathroom Blitz thread. It also contains these gems.
wasabi gasp:
Bubba Dave:
The fact that it also contains comments from BoB re: his nipples should not be counted against it.
asiangrrlMN
@kommrade reproductive vigor: Ooooh, dueling threads. Balloon Boy v. Bathroom Blitz!
JGabriel
Seconding KRV’s nomination of Bubba Dave’s comment from the Bathroom Blitz thread, which I will repost because it just keeps getting funnier:
.
kommrade reproductive vigor
@Michael D.: Christ, if you get funnier than the Riverdance comment we’ll have to lock you up at Fort Meade to keep you from falling into enemy hands.
JenJen
@Jenn: Hi Jenn!! Welcome out from under the shadows. :-)
Mark S.
Steeplejack:
El Cid
@Jenn: You liked me, you really, really liked me!
SGEW
How could everyone forget the “Hello World!” thread?
mousebumples
@SGEW: Agreed. I just reread the whole thread, and there was serious LOL’ing … once again.
Jenn
Ha! Clearly, I need to go hang out in the archives, because I obviously have missed some killer threads! (My work frequently takes me to the middle of nowhere with no internet for weeks at a time — really nice to escape email, not so great returning…)
Geez, closing down Starbucks. G’night everybody!
Xecky Gilchrist
Oh wow, I’d forgotten about that comment. I too am honored by the nomination!
Blush
asiangrrlMN
@SGEW: This thread has GOT to be in the running for best thread evah. I re-read it, and man, do we fucking rock hard. Still giggling here.
OriGuy
@RedKitten:
Quitcherbitchen. You kept yours longer than Carrie Prejean kept hers.
Steeplejack
@John Cole:
Michael Gass, October 15, 2009:
Funny, ’cause I remembered it as “the helicopters weren’t laughing,” which sounds better to me. Go figure.
Steeplejack
@Steeplejack:
WTF?! I tried to edit my own comment, and WP told me I didn’t have permission to do that–after opening an edit window and letting me type away in it. FYWP.
Anyway, I edited my previous comment to add this:
Steeplejack
@Mark S.:
You embarrass me with your praise, sir. Thank you!
Svensker
@gnomedad:
Ha ha ha. Win!
Wile E. Quixote
@JGabriel
How about “Most Inadvertently Brilliant and Surreal” as a category for BoB’s classic posts.
Zuzu's Petals
@asiangrrlMN:
Wasn’t that part of an SNL Appalachian Emergency Room skit?
arguingwithsignposts
@SGEW:
Holy crap, how did I miss that one!
It's Too Hot To Sleep
Perhaps a suggestion for the next version/upcoming remake of BJ: allow users to “star” a particular comment (or something like that), so by the end of the year you can easily compile a list of all of the selected comments.
Pasquinade
matoko_chan:
https://balloon-juice.com/?p=29957#more-29957
Chad N Freude:
https://balloon-juice.com/?p=29133#comments
…just a couple that I added to my “Pithy Quotes” Word doc
AkaDad
Thanks Laura W.
If I get nominated and win I’ll finally have a legitimate reason to wear a tiara.
Steeplejack
I was going through my Balloon Juice notes file this morning looking for something else and was reminded of this gem from Cleek, which I hereby nominate:
donnah
This was from January 5, Brother Can You Spare a Bullet:
https://balloon-juice.com/?p=15191
DougJ
“Has anyone perfected the backbone transplant yet?”
Normally, it’s only possible to give a patient a transplant involving a body part that the patient had at one time.
uila
I nominate this comment, which came in a thread debating whether folks were wrong to be upset about Obama’s dismissive reefer joke back in the spring:
The sentiment holds for non-reefer-related politics as well of course… [cough] Taibbi-haters [cough]
Will pretty much owned that thread by the way.
Mr. Wonderful
I’m new here, and love Xecky’s Venice line, but I just went
back and read most of the Balloon Boy thread.
How can you beat “bring your condensation”?
Midnight Marauder
@arguingwithsignposts:
How about setting yourself on fire?
Mister Colorful Analogy
@Midnight Marauder:
Don’t know if this is CoY2009, but I LOL’d.
james hamlin
Michael said last week in some comments
Sarah Palin, because W just wasn’t stupid enough!
December 10th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Evolved Deep Southerner
I cannot find the post that I’m looking for and honestly don’t even remember what the hell the thread was about, but I remember it was The Moar You Know talking about a crazy ex-girlfriend who burned down his condo, fucked his best friend, and made artwork from menstrual blood, but the sex was SO GOOD … etc., etc.
Anybody else remember? Help a brother out.