Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Everybody saw this coming.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Infrastructure week. at last.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

We still have time to mess this up!

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

You cannot shame the shameless.

This fight is for everything.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

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85Comments

  1. 1.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I think I may start a blog called MyDD watch. Their quote of the day, from the same genius who wrote the “Chocolate Carter” post last week

    I have always maintained that Sarah Palin is essentially Barack Obama without the benefit of an Ivy League pedigree, a reasonably high IQ, and more talented ghostwriters

    It doesn’t make any more sense if you read the whole post.

  5. 5.

    debit

    I may need some Thunderbird soon. The hot water supply hose to my kitchen sink broke. I bought a replacement. It wouldn’t fit the shut off valve. I bought another shut off valve. The compression fitting on the old one wouldn’t come off. I cobbled the new shut off valve with the old compression nut (and it will never come apart again). But it’s on the pipe and it doesn’t leak. So I happily connected the new hose to the new shut off valve and went to connect it to the faucet and…it doesn’t fit. :screams of primal rage:

  6. 6.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.: Oh, it’s the lead post right now. Pretty incoherent, just throws around a lot of PUMA buzzwords about cults of personality.
    Runner up for QOTD: Bill Clinton and George W Bush were “self-effacing politicians”. I guess this guy never saw those Commander in Chief crocs, or hasn’t watched Bubba’s annual plea to the Nobel Prize Committee, every September on Letterman

  7. 7.

    Kryptik

    I feel like I should try some Thunderbird myself. After all, it sounds like God himself is advocating it. Or is that JFK? I forget which, but then again, I’ve been listening to an action transvestite too much lately.

  15. 15.

    Mike in NC

    Thunderbird: “Not quite like anything I’ve ever tasted.”

    That wonderful English gift for understatement.

  17. 17.

    Dennis SGMM

    @srv:
    The temperature peaked at 104° today here in Sunny Southern California. Supposedly it will peak at 106° on Monday. On Tuesday it cools right down – to 104°.

  21. 21.

    srv

    @Dennis SGMM: Yes, but you lameo SoCals have air conditioning. I have to trek through these sweltering conditions to get my alcohol. Can’t just hop in my SUV and pop over to the megalowmart.

  27. 27.

    Steve

    @bostondreams: He took a really cheap shot at Detroit when Johnny Damon decided to stay with the Tigers this year. God forbid anyone should enjoy playing anywhere other than Boston! What a dick.

  28. 28.

    Kryptik

    @Corner Stone:

    Eddie Izzard, “Dress to Kill”. During much of his standup career (I’m not sure if he bothers with it anymore), he was an unabashed transvestite, and part of his bit was distinguishing ‘Weirdo Transvestites’, and his type, ‘Executive Transvestite’, and later noting he was also an ‘Action Transvestite’ when he segued into a bit on snowboarding.

    He also used James Mason as his fallback impression for most people, including God, JFK, and anyone whose voice needed a nice tinge of authority.

  30. 30.

    Linda Featheringill

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Okay. Sarah Palin is just like Barack Obama [leaving out the obvious gender and race/skin tone differences] except:

    1. He is intelligent and she is not.
    2. He had the stick-to-it-iveness to finish several college degrees. She did not.
    3. He is kind hearted and she is not.
    4. He can write his own speeches and books and she cannot.
    5. Etc.
    6. He is president and she is not.

    Is that about it?

  31. 31.

    Violet

    That commercial is awesome. I must have missed it being discussed yesterday. Definitely gave me a much needed laugh.

  33. 33.

    Martin

    @Dennis SGMM: Yeah, it’s really something isn’t it. Usually we get 100 degrees and Santa Ana winds. No wind here. Feels like July should have, but didn’t. Can’t believe tomorrow and Monday are supposed to be hotter.

  34. 34.

    Corner Stone

    @Kryptik: I have been educated here this evening.
    My knowledge of transvestites and their various famous/semi-famous garbs is now stronger. And I thank you for it.

  36. 36.

    Dennis SGMM

    What’s the word?
    Thunderbird!
    How’s it sold?
    Gold and cold.
    What’s the price?
    Thirty twice.

    God, I’m old.

  38. 38.

    Allison W.

    @Kryptik:

    He did not forget the teleprompter. He mentions it in one of his replies. He also says ‘Obama is not substantive……he’s just a slick lawyer that reads the teleprompter well’.

    Anyone who thinks Obama is a dummy is an arrogant ass. that’s my opinion. Whether you agree with his policies or not, no one can ever say -with a straight face-that Obama is not substantive or not bright.

  43. 43.

    mai naem

    I was listening to This American Life. Make me want to go in and grab a couple of Wall Streeters and literally hang them off some lamp post so that every freaking Wall Streeter can see them. Why can’t these mofos just STFU, say thanks for the help and bye. But noooooooo, they have to say “oh, noez, I didn’t need help and I made it on my own all by myself.” Dick wads.

  45. 45.

    Cat Lady

    @DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.:

    Yeah, he’s a conventional wisdom purveyor extraordinaire who will always push the ownership line (the Globe and the Red Sox are owned by the NYT), but he’s got great anecdotes about everyone who’s anyone since he’s been around Boston sports forever. You shouldn’t take him seriously as a sports analyst. He’s a personality with funny stories about colorful characters, that’s all.

  47. 47.

    Egypt Steve

    @Dennis SGMM:

    Me too. But this is the one I remember:

    Get high, everybody, get high.
    Get high, everybody, get high.
    Get high, everybody, get high.
    Get high, everybody, get high.
    Have you heard? What’s the word?
    It’s Thunderbird.

    All you kids from Texas,
    you grow so big and tall.
    All of them kids from Texas
    they grow so big and tall.
    All of them like to roam
    in that T-Bird hall.

    Get hi-hi-high.
    Really makes you feel so fine,
    really goes down so smooth,
    really puts you in the groove.
    Have you heard? What’s the word?
    It’s Thunderbird.

    Juice, juice, juice
    really makes you loose loose, loose,
    really goes down so smooth,
    really puts you in the groove.
    Have you heard? What’s the word?
    It’s Thunderbird.

    Get hi-hi-high,
    way up in the sky.
    Gonna get, yes sirree,
    if ya come and rock with me.
    Have you heard? What’s the word?
    It’s Thunderbird.

  48. 48.

    Ailuridae

    @DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.:

    As bad as political reporting is, sports reporting is far worse. This counts doubly for columnists in the sports world.

    The NBA and NFL are likely going to have work stoppages and nearly all the actual blame for that should reside with ownership. I’m actually curious to see how the presence of new media will alter the corporate reporting from the last set of work stoppages which can be summarized as:

    “Lazy black people who are privileged enough to play a game for a living want more of their benevolent masters owners’ money”

  51. 51.

    eemom

    @Linda Featheringill:

    It’s a good start, but the comparison is SO fucking ridiculous that it seems to call for several million more tons of retaliatory ridicule.

    Perhaps we should look at it from the opposite perspective.

    Palin can give Rich Lowry Starbursts and Obama cannot.

    Palin can publicly demonstrate jaw-dropping stupidity and ignorance for two solid years and still be taken seriously and Obama could not.

    Palin can be a serial liar and never get called on any of her lies, and Obama could not.

    Palin could help crazy, incompetent people win primaries, and Obama could not.

    Ah, never mind. It’s just too depressing.

  52. 52.

    TrishB

    @Mike in NC: Then you’ve never tried MD 20/20. I once bought a bottle of that crap, and 2 seconds after tasting it, poured the rest of the bottle down the drain. If I found it undrinkable with my last 3 dollars on a Friday as a college student, there’s no way the stuff is intended for human consumption.

  53. 53.

    J Edgar

    @Dennis SGMM:
    “he didn’t actually drink it.”

    Hey, whipper-snapper, in the distant past it was against US codes and laws to show someone drinking alcohol in a TV commercial.

    James Mason could chew the scenery and the script of any movie thrown at him, so I think he could have handled the Thunderbird (except that it was illegal).

  55. 55.

    Chris

    @TrishB:

    After several weekends in high school…I made the connection that each time I drank MD 20/20 I ended up hurling out the window. Mind you I wasnt all that scientific back then but eventually I figured out that that shit made me sick each time I drank it. I was stubborn and didnt accept the results at first but eventually was confronted with the hard cold facts. Thank FSM I aint a teabagger. I’d be dead.

  56. 56.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    @Ailuridae:

    I agree. What I find amazing is that in baseball, last I checked, the owners claimed to be losing money but refused to open their books for an independent audit. So most likely concessions, parking, merchandising, etc. is off the books in some money-making subsidiary company. It’s ridiculous. And, yeah, the fact they can say “these lazy negroes” is what allows them to get away with it.

  58. 58.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    That MyDD post is unreal. Hot, fecund woman warrior.

    God damn.

  59. 59.

    monkeyboy

    That commercial appears to be from 1964/1965.

    That is the time when the American middle class mass market started to become aware of wine. Before then they mostly drank beer, whiskey, or gin. Only if they were brave enough to patronize an ethnic restaurant (Italian), and few were, might they be familiar with Chianti. The beat generation were wine drinkers and wine may have been associated with dirty fucking beatniks. Gallo must have hoped they could mass market Thunderbird to the middle class.

    This was around the same time that the middle class became aware of cheese that wasn’t slices of American or Swiss. I heard one story of a woman who hung around with some major beats, Bob Dylan, etc., who didn’t know how to serve brie at a party and wound up cutting it into cubes and providing tooth picks.

  61. 61.

    gogol's wife

    I’m so glad that James Mason advertising Thunderbird has made it to the front page. I love this blog.

  62. 62.

    Three-nineteen

    @Kryptik: Izzard did call himself an action transvestite last year on Top Gear, but I have not seen him in women’s clothes in a few years.

    To add to the clips and complement bostondreams’ comment, here’s Izzard’s Star Wars offering (in Legos for fun).

  64. 64.

    monkeyboy

    @DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.:

    @J Edgar:
    __
    When did that change? Is it legal now?

    It is hard to find out what is “legal” now because some of the restrictions are advertisers and TV station self regulation to avoid real legal regulation (sort of like how the Hays Code, 1930-1968 regulated movie content).

    As far as I know in the US a TV advertisement for an alcoholic beverage can’t show it being drunk and hard spirits ads are not permitted.

  65. 65.

    evap

    I went to college in Chicago in the late 70’s (U. Chicago, class of 1980) and I remember the ads in the subway for Thunderbird wine: “That’s baaaaad wine” (accompanying picture was a young badass black dude – think Shaft – with a bottle sticking out of his pocket). I’m not making this up.

    But… James Mason? … I love this blog :)

  67. 67.

    monkeyboy

    @efgoldman:
    I gave up on owing a TV and watching it years ago so I blessedly have no recent experience with ads.

    @monkeyboy:

    …hard spirits ads are not permitted.

    Certainly no longer true. [snipped examples]

    Are those ads that appeared on broadcast TV or cable TV? The regulations (self or legal) differ between them.

  68. 68.

    frosty

    @efgoldman: ‘zactly. Our SoCal version was a gallon of Red Mountain Pink Chablis for $1.50. Mixed with cheap beer, it wasn’t too bad.

    I was the only fool who would drink T-Bird — one bottle to celebrate the last day of class. About a third of the way down your taste buds got numb and that industrial taste sort of went away.

  69. 69.

    frosty

    @TrishB: Hmmm. The only time I drank a bottle of MD 20/20 I got the feeling that the sugar had precipitated out on my teeth. Yuck.

    Still, I drank the whole thing. I had a rep as a Cheap Wine Connoisseur to uphold, after all.

  70. 70.

    monkeyboy

    @efgoldman:

    @monkeyboy:
    __
    Actually upper-middle to high-end restaurants served wine a lot in those days [early 1960s]. … any large-city downtown hotel restaurant had a wine cellar and a sommelier.

    In the early 1960s the middle class rarely ate in restaurants except when they were traveling on vacations. One of the successes of the proto restaurant chain Howard Jonson’s was to transition from a safe place middle class families could eat at on vacation to a local place families could go to for special occasions such as birthdays.

    A restaurant with a sommelier existed mainly for upper class patrons or upper-middle class patrons who aspired to be upper class. The mass market middle class in the early 1960s were not in that league.

    A lot of middle class anti-restaurant sentiment still exists. When I asked an old woman in Heber Springs Arkansas if any of the local diners were any good she was shocked. She told me those places were for truckers and other men that don’t have women to cook for them, and should be avoided.

  71. 71.

    chicago dyke

    maybe someone has said this already, but gosh. james didn’t actually drink that swill, did he? he’s got too much class to let the ‘bird run down his cultured throat, i’m thinking. and agreeing! since i was 14, which was the last time i had teh bird or the night train or 20/20 “wines.” whew. those are some, um, “memories.”

  74. 74.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Thunderbird: “Not quite like anything I’ve ever tasted.”

    This is obviously a man who has never enjoyed an ice cold refreshing glass of paint thinner.

  77. 77.

    Ripley

    Graduated from Thunderbird to Almaden White Zinfandel when the okay-with-trashy 1970s morphed into the greed-is-good 1980s. Now I drink small batch whiskey and beer, both as bitter as my ex-wife. Not sure how to piece that together.

    The one time I drank Mad Dog 20/20 I threw up in the bottle after swallowing the last drop. This happened in a trailer-home.

    Vote Democrat: Convince me now is better.

  80. 80.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Google is so helpful sometimes:

    bumwine.com

    As pictured to the left, look for the pigeon feces and you’ll find this old bird. As soon as you taste this swill, it will be obvious that its makers cut every corner possible in its production to make it cheap. Self-proclaimed as “The American Classic,” Thuderbird is Vinted and bottled by E&J Gallo Winery, in in Modesto, CA. Disguised like Night Train, the label says that it is made by “Thunderbird, Ltd.” If your taste buds are shot, and you need to get trashed with a quickness, then “T-bird” is the drink for you. Or, if you like to smell your hand after pumping gas, look no further than Thunderbird. As you drink on, the bird soars higher while you sink lower. The undisputed leader of the five in foulness of flavor, we highly discourage driking this ghastly mixture of unknown chemicals unless you really are a bum. A convenience store clerk in Show Low, AZ once told me that only the oldest of stumbling indian drunks from the reservation buy Thunderbird. Avaliable in 750 mL and a devastating 50 oz jug.

    The history of Thunderbird is as interesting as the drunken effects the one experiences from the wine. When Prohibition ended, Ernest Gallo and his brothers Julio and Joe wanted to corner the young wine market. Earnest wanted the company to become “the Campbell Soup company of the wine industry” so he started selling Thunderbird in the ghettos around the country. Their radio adds featured a song that sang, “What’s the word? / Thunderbird / How’s it sold? / Good and cold / What’s the jive? / Bird’s alive / What’s the price? / Thirty twice.” It is said that Ernest once drove through a tough, inner city neighborhood and pulled over when he saw a bum. When Gallo rolled down his window and called out, “What’s the word?” the immediate answer from the bum was, “Thunderbird.”

    WARNING: This light yellow liquid turns your lips and mouth black! A mysterious chemical reaction similar to disappearing-reappearing ink makes you look like you’ve been chewing on hearty clumps of charcoal.

    NOTE: For the life of me, I cannot figure out how to properly force a blockquote on this site. Standard tags do not work, and I do not understand the hints. Sorry. All three paragraphs above should be blockquoted.

    BTW, this reminds of jokes from my youth in college in the 60’s about “Red Dagger” that I heard, but they were so racist I decline to repeat them here.

  81. 81.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Since this topic reminded me of my youth, growing up in Alabama in the 1950’s and 1960’s (John, when you are ribbed about West Virginia, just point South to Alabama with an ‘I rest my case’ attitude), I did some more searching on Google, looking for info on Red Dagger wine. It appears it is no longer made, but I found this absolutely fascinating personal reminiscence plus local history and color piece at a web site for Montgomery, Alabama.

    Prohibition in Alabama

    It is well worth the short read for some insight into how bizarrely Americans can and will twist their society out of all recognizable logical shape, starting with the rise and fall of prohibition, up through the dry vs. wet counties of Alabama even into the present day.

    Much to the chagrin of the Temperance Union, prohibition didn’t work. The Eighteenth is the only amendment ever to be repealed in its entirety. Ironically enough, it is the only amendment ever to take away rather than ensure freedom and, during a short life, it caused considerable growth in organized crime. The Twenty-First Amendment took effect December 5, 1933 and gave control of alcohol back to the individual states. Almost seventy-five years later there are still twenty-six dry counties in Alabama. Tallapoosa and Coosa Counties didn’t go wet until the mid seventies. I remember that at sixteen I could ride my bicycle to the bootlegger’s house and buy a pint of Red Dagger wine for five dollars.

  82. 82.

    sam

    Christ, I hadn’t thought of this in almost 50 years:

    “What’s the word?”

    “Thunderbird!”

    “What’s the price?”

    “Thirty twice!”

  83. 83.

    Nancy Assaf

    Let’s see…Sarah Palin.

    Wife and Mother (Mother of a Special Needs Child)

    Governor of Alaska(Obama was barely a Senator and voted “present’ on almost everything)

    Vice Presidential Nomination

    DID write her own book in her own words, “Going Rogue”

    Speaks without a teleprompter most of the time (Obama can’t even speak to kindergartners without one)

    Wants to let YOU keep and spend your money instead of re-distributing it to those who do not work

    Pays for her own hotels on trips when she takes her family (Obama has a special plane just for his dog)

    ETC…..and so forth.

    Try reading something real such as National Review or Human Events instead of watching main stream media tv for your erroneous information on politics and politicians.

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