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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / The Unlikely Resurgence of A Grossly Swollen Amphibian

The Unlikely Resurgence of A Grossly Swollen Amphibian

by Anne Laurie|  December 2, 20113:39 am| 54 Comments

This post is in: Election 2012, Proud to Be A Democrat, Republican Stupidity, Assholes

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(Ben Sargent via GoComics.com)
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To rational observers of his long history of self-destructive bloviation and toxic narcissism, Newton Leroy Gingrich’s newfound “frontrunner” status in the GOP presidential race is a major mystery. The Washington Post, company paper for the political industry, dutifuly untangles how “Newt Gingrich Inc…. went from political flameout to fortune“, detailing the recent career of a professional con artist whose main distinctions from Sarah Palin are a larger vocabulary and a fatter rolodex. None of the repellant details collected in John H. Richardson’s August 2010 Esquire profile have become any less squirm-inducing. And yet, Triumphant Newt is the media’s, and perhaps even the GOP primary voter’s, candidate of the hour.
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It may just be the political version of Wall Street’s “greater fool” theory. Greg Sargent was deliciously sarcastic about Politico‘s breathless claim that “It’s nearly impossible to overstate how much Newt Gingrich’s resurgence can be traced to how strongly Republicans think he’d fare in mano-a-mano debates against President Obama“:

… Newt’s credentials as an intellectual heavyweight are entirely unearned, and… GOPers nominate a megalomaniac like Newt at their peril.
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Newt, however, is undaunted. Indeed, as he told us himself the other day: “I have more substance than any candidate in modern history.” If Jonathan Martin’s reporting is accurate, there are a lot of Republican voters out there who are prepared to believe him.

Frank Rich, on Rachel Maddow via NYMag, blames it on Rupert Murdoch: “… I think most of all it’s a practical decision.. throughout the political world, people really, really don’t like Mitt Romney… there’s something plastic about Romney, something off-putting. And fake. And I think the Murdoch empire wants someone who could win.” (Video clip at the link. Why does Rupert Murdoch, and/or his henchman Roger Ailes, hate America?)

Mr. Gingrich himself is serenely ready for his closeup. Last weekend — when not advocating “more aggressive” policies towards marijuana users, the Cuban government, Medicare, and Social Security — Newt was magisterial in an interview with Chris Moody for Yahoo:

Have you learned anything about yourself that you didn’t know or that surprised you now that you’re running for president?
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I may be more capable of calm discipline than I would have guessed. Watch the way in which I am methodically not getting engaged in a fight with my friends.
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Is it hard to resist the temptation?
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It’s getting easier. The more often I do it, the easier it gets. It’s easier to not say anything the next time. I’m a natural debater. I’ve spent my whole career debating…
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Do you think that if you’re nominated you’ll really get President Obama to agree to your challenge of holding several three-hour Lincoln-Douglass style debates?
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Yeah, I do. I think he’ll look like a fool if he doesn’t. How does a guy announce in Springfield, quoting Lincoln? I want to give him a chance to live up to his announcement.

Well, at least those of us in the Reality-Based Community — i.e., Democrats — can take solace in knowing that this is, no lie, Good News for President Obama. Gingrich will no more win a presidential campaign in 2012 than I will win next year’s Miss Universe contest. But his newfound polling popularity may enable Newt to fatally damage Willard. Per Charlie Pierce:

… If Newt Gingrich really thinks he can win, then Newt Gingrich will do absolutely anything to accomplish that. He has no conscience in these matters, and he has no soul to speak of. He believes that the rules governing ordinary mortals in matters like public prevarication and gross public deceit do not apply to him, because he was blessed at birth to be the “definer of the rules of civilization.” (There is actual court testimony to this effect, by the way.) If he really is ahead of you in Iowa, Willard, and if he’s running even in New Hampshire, then where exactly do you go thereafter? Newt could have been elected in South Carolina in 1863, when it wasn’t even really a part of the country. Now, the GOP in that state is the last remaining redoubt of all the changes he rang in nice polite Republicanism in the 1990’s. That’s the home office. You going to beat him in a state that thinks Jim DeMint is a giant of American politics? That leaves Florida, which is a demographic mess, and where Newt is now beating you in the polls. You might squeak one out down there, but you’re going to be bloodied up going forward.
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This is no longer a campaign. It is Newt Gingrich’s last chance to define himself in history as the grandiose figure he sees when he looks in the mirror. It’s not a book tour any more, or an elaborate form of negotiation aimed at jacking up his lecture fees. If he thinks he can win, Newt Gingrich is going to look at this campaign now as a grand opportunity to justify himself as a man of historical moment, a kind of supra-national figure whose like we will not see again. If anyone thinks he’s likely to abandon that great quest just because he’s fundamentally unprincipled, and because the image itself is a tinpot fraud, they’re fooling themselves. To paraphrase Groucho Marx, Newt is fighting for his honor, which is probably more than anyone else has ever done for it.

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Reader Interactions

54Comments

  1. 1.

    piratedan

    December 2, 2011 at 5:32 am

    Vote for Newt! The Honest Sociopath! er..um…. make that The Sociopath that YOU can believe in!

  2. 2.

    Cermet

    December 2, 2011 at 5:37 am

    This guy was a has-been in the 80’s, someone who is even lobbyist’s idea of a low-life, and a serial wife cheating scumbag. Can this pile of shit really be the best, of the best that the thugs have to offer? Where are the trolls when you need them because we need some ‘explaining’ here. If this rat focker gets any real votes by the primary voters and leads the pack of IQ challenged hypocrites, then Obama must live a charmed life. Even for thugs this pile of steaming shit is just too much a low life to be elected – at least I want to believe it is. Has it really come to this by the party of Lincoln Jefferson Davis? How low can they go? Wait, don’t answer that …

  3. 3.

    Tony J

    December 2, 2011 at 5:55 am

    “It’s nearly impossible to overstate how much Newt Gingrich’s resurgence can be traced to how strongly Republicans think he’d fare in mano-a-mano debates against President Obama“

    Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure.

    And it’s nothing – nothing I say – to do with the fact that every other Great White Hope Los Front Nacional del Blancolocos have pinned their Anyone-But-Romney badge on over the last year has flamed out in increasingly embarassing ways.

    Gingrich 2012 – Because America Needs Closure.

  4. 4.

    Waldo

    December 2, 2011 at 6:17 am

    Eh, I wouldn’t give Newt too much credit. He’s just the lard ass who grabbed the last seat in not-Romney musical chairs. If Herman Cain’s timing had been better — or if he weren’t such a pig — he’d be in the same spot.

  5. 5.

    Rhoda

    December 2, 2011 at 6:18 am

    This is really simple. The entire primary was summed up properly by the person who descried this race as Mitt v. Not Mitt. Willard needed the Not Mitt vote to remain divided throughout the primary; but all the Not Mitt’s have flamed out, Huntsman is a Mitt clone in the eyes of the base of the party, and everyone knows Santorum’s Google issues.

    Gingrich is all that the Not Mitt folks have left. The establishment will rally for Willard and will work to tear Newt down; I think it’s to late. The math was always fundamentally against Willard.

    And the unspoken Mormon issues a major barrier, which is why I could never see him as the nominee. I mean at one point HERMAN CAIN was beating him in West VA. If that doesn’t clue you into the fact that this campaign has fundamental issues, I don’t know what to post.

    I don’t think Mitt Romney will be the nominee, I have no clue who will become Not Mitt.

  6. 6.

    Raven

    December 2, 2011 at 6:20 am

    @Rhoda: Unspoken? Say what!

  7. 7.

    victory

    December 2, 2011 at 6:39 am

    What a stupid man thinks a smart person sounds like. – Kthug

  8. 8.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    December 2, 2011 at 6:53 am

    Indeed… indeed…

    Teh Newtster is back…

    And in honor of the occasion… one from the vault…

    Welcome to Newticles®

    Thank you for your interest in patented Newticles and the revolutionary testicular implant procedure for Republicans. Inside you will find the latest information and updates.

    Over 425,000 embarrassed Republicans nationwide have selected Newticles as a safe, practical and inexpensive option after being Newtered.

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    With Newticles®- It’s like nothing ever changed…

  9. 9.

    kindness

    December 2, 2011 at 7:08 am

    I can understand why Republicans aren’t cottoning to Willard, but Newt? Really?

    Isn’t that akin to frying pan -> fire type thing?

  10. 10.

    Napoleon

    December 2, 2011 at 7:14 am

    If Newt wins I just can not imagine he is going to play well with the electorate as a whole. If he does I sure hope Obama goes nuclear on him with the negative ads.

  11. 11.

    k488

    December 2, 2011 at 7:16 am

    Now I know why I’ve had the music to Pinky and The Brain running in my head for the past couple of days. “You will respect me – Yes! – when my plan is unfurled…”

  12. 12.

    SensesFail

    December 2, 2011 at 7:27 am

    I think most of all it’s a practical decision.. throughout the political world, people really, really don’t like Mitt Romney… there’s something plastic about Romney, something off-putting. And fake. And I think the Murdoch empire wants someone who could win.

    But can we be so sure that Murdoch and company wants the Republican nominee to win? I mean, what would be a better outcome for right-wing media: 4 years of their guy in the White House, or 4 more years of a Kenyan, Muslim, Communist, Socialist Anti-Christ in the White House?

  13. 13.

    El Cid

    December 2, 2011 at 7:29 am

    I’m pretty impressed that Newt’s career as a former Speaker of the House and his role in the House are pretty much missing from discussion.

    I keep looking, and it’s like his career from the 1990s just isn’t there.

    It’s the same way that when people discuss John Kasich’s politics, his role in the Newt Revolution vanishes.

    Perhaps it’s that people who clearly remember the travesty of the 1990s Republican House think other people clearly remember it.

    He’s “a former Speaker” only when introduced that way; his “former Speaker” status doesn’t seem to include his actual activities in the legislature.

    It was a god-awful nightmarish period, but, you know, feh.

  14. 14.

    beltane

    December 2, 2011 at 7:32 am

    My deceased former father-in-law was a stanuch, Limbaugh-loving wingnut who despised Newt Gingrich, saying he was a “flake” and an “asshole”. I suspect a lot of conservatives feel the same way. It’s not that they love Newt (he was, after all, their fifth-string Not-Mitt) so much as they hate Romney. I’m not sure it’s the plastic thing so much as it is the Mormon thing. I’m starting to think that even a gay Buddhist with fascist inclinations would be preferable to the Republican base than a Mormon who once said something sane years back.

  15. 15.

    Raven

    December 2, 2011 at 7:39 am

    @beltane: Ginsberg is running?

  16. 16.

    El Cid

    December 2, 2011 at 7:45 am

    It’s Food Stamps with Obama, versus Paychecks with Gingrich.

  17. 17.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 2, 2011 at 7:45 am

    @beltane:

    even a gay Buddhist with fascist inclinations

    You included a magic phrase in there. Of course, they would like any candidate with fascist inclinations. It’s what they do.

    @Raven: Win. Pure win.

  18. 18.

    MattF

    December 2, 2011 at 7:53 am

    Just thinking of VP candidates that Newt might dream up makes me shiver. I recall, some weeks ago, a winger proposed Gingrich/Bolton. Sort of combination where you type it and then you blink. Waaaoooo.

  19. 19.

    Soonergrunt

    December 2, 2011 at 7:57 am

    @beltane:

    I’m starting to think that even a gay Buddhist with fascist inclinations would be preferable to the Republican base than a Mormon who once said something sane years back.

    It’s the fascist thing that puts your hypothetical gay Buddhist over the top. Fascist tendencies are a feature, not a bug of the modern republican party.

    OT–Occupy OKC has an injunction pending in the federal district court. Although there is no preliminary ruling, the city of OKC has agreed to hold off on the eviction action from Kerr park until the results of the hearing are known.

  20. 20.

    Donut

    December 2, 2011 at 7:57 am

    @SensesFail:

    This is a good take, and had crossed my mind in a slightly different way. I’m not so sure that the people who have some ability to pull strings in the GOP really want to win the GOP to have presidency in 2012. They would then be responsible for fixing the economy, which will require doing a lot of things they’ve just spent the last three years saying should never ever be done: stimulus, and tax code that encourages reinvestment over profit-taking.

    To my mind, they have a better shot at taking the Senate and holding the House and that is the way they maintain the status quo. They will be able to continue to block anything Obama wants to do and with less hassle, and let’s face it, they think hostage-taking on Exec branch appointments is a blast, so there’s that to look forward to.

    I dunno, hard to say in the end, but I would think there are quite a few people in the GOP power centers who are coming to the same conclusion. They won’t throw the race, and they will still throw the kitchen sink at the President, but the real action is in the Congressional races. YMMV, but that’s what I think…

  21. 21.

    kay

    December 2, 2011 at 8:01 am

    @El Cid:

    I’m pretty impressed that Newt’s career as a former Speaker of the House and his role in the House are pretty much missing from discussion.
    I keep looking, and it’s like his career from the 1990s just isn’t there.

    I think his career in the 1990’s is going to “come up” in the same way it did for Kasich: to his benefit.

    He’ll be treated as a known quantity, as a “pro” that “we” know and can trust.

    I heard a NYTimes reporter say last night “we have a sense of him” re: Gingrich- comparing Romney unfavorably to Gingrich-they don’t have a “sense” of Romney- and that isn’t a good thing to say in what should be the start of an inquiry.

    I feel as if we can see it already. These bombastic statements he’s making are outrageous. He’s taking credit for every positive thing that happened in the last 30 years. But he’s not getting called on what are, actually, flat-out lies, because there seems to be a “sense of” oh, well, that’s just Newt!

  22. 22.

    Mark S.

    December 2, 2011 at 8:02 am

    The thing about Newt was that he was wildly unpopular in the 90’s. Bill Clinton owes his reelection in 96 to Newt because everyone thought Newt would be the real president if Dole got elected. For people too young to remember him, people in their 20’s, hell, none of them are going to vote for him anyway.

  23. 23.

    agrippa

    December 2, 2011 at 8:03 am

    I think that the GOP will concentrate on the state governments and Congress. I think that the GOP will, essentially, concede the presidential election.

  24. 24.

    MattF

    December 2, 2011 at 8:04 am

    @kay: Also, Newt has been quoted as taking credit for the Federal budget surplus during the ’90’s. So. And I’m sure that he really sees it that way– it’s all Newt, all the time.

  25. 25.

    Napoleon

    December 2, 2011 at 8:05 am

    I am surprised noone has mentioned the fluff job the WaPo gave Newt as “an idea guy” this morning. Some of the comments to it are pretty funny.

  26. 26.

    agrippa

    December 2, 2011 at 8:06 am

    @kay:

    I think that you have a good reading of how the media will deal with Gingrich.
    The media is, at best, all about entertainment. The MSM is not about news at all.

  27. 27.

    Chris

    December 2, 2011 at 8:10 am

    It’s nearly impossible to overstate how much Newt Gingrich’s resurgence can be traced to how strongly Republicans think he’d fare in mano-a-mano debates against President Obama

    They rallied around Herman Cain because they thought “their black” would offset “our black.” Now they’re rallying around Gingrich because they think “their intellectual” will offset “our intellectual.”

    Dear God are these people pathetic or what…

  28. 28.

    El Cid

    December 2, 2011 at 8:19 am

    @kay: Yeah, if everyone politely agrees to treat Kasich’s and Newt’s legislative actions and histories as blandly positive, then, yeah, it rebounds to their positive.

    If by “known quantity” they mean “awful terrible horrible but not Michele Bachmann crazy”, then they’re just terrible people who shouldn’t be writing or speaking publicly and likewise shouldn’t be allowed to do so without rude interruption and mic-checks.

  29. 29.

    Mark S.

    December 2, 2011 at 8:19 am

    We’d be in a lot of trouble if the GOP would nominate “Generic Republican.” Fortunately for us (and the country), they don’t have one of those.

  30. 30.

    Chris

    December 2, 2011 at 8:22 am

    @Mark S.:

    Apparently, the American people can’t stomach any of the real Republicans, but they still desperately want to be saved by a Republican, because freedom and git off my lawn and guy I’d like to have a beer with.

  31. 31.

    kay

    December 2, 2011 at 8:23 am

    @MattF:

    Also, Newt has been quoted as taking credit for the Federal budget surplus during the ‘90’s. So. And I’m sure that he really sees it that way—it’s all Newt, all the time.

    Kasich did the same thing. One of his themes was “I worked with Bill Clinton”. That made him bipartisan and and trustworthy and experienced (“I’m not an insane wingnut!”) in a state where Democrats and independents really liked Bill Clinton. Nostalgia and “knowing” someone are just really powerful lures.

    Of course, he came in and went hard Right, and everyone fainted dead away from the shock of it all :)

    Can you imagine the indignant outcry if Obama made these crazy self-aggrandizing statements like Gingrich is making? That worries me a little bit. If they’re not calling him on it, and they aren’t, they must in some sense feel he’s entitled in a way they don’t, even now, think Obama is entitled.

  32. 32.

    low-tech cyclist

    December 2, 2011 at 8:24 am

    “I have more substance than any candidate in modern history.”
    -Newt

    This may be literally true. He probably outweighs every other Presidential candidate in recent years.

  33. 33.

    Mark S.

    December 2, 2011 at 8:34 am

    @kay:

    Patience, my dear. Newt just became flavor of the week a couple of days ago, and most people still aren’t paying much attention. Americans will have plenty of time to remember why they hated Newt so much when he was relevant. A couple more proposals about repealing child labor laws will do the trick.

  34. 34.

    magurakurin

    December 2, 2011 at 8:34 am

    @Chris: not only are they pathetic, they are legion. Let’s face it, if any one of these twits gets the nod, up to and including Bachman, that nominee will get at minimum 40,000,000 votes. Probably closer to 45,000,000 and maybe nearly 50.

    That’s a powerful lot of stupid for one country.

    There a lot of days when I really like my odds with the cesium 137 here in Japan over what could be wrought back in my “homeland” should the unthinkable happens and one of these ass clowns actually becomes president.

  35. 35.

    Huntly

    December 2, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Didn’t realize his middle name is Leroy; I bet he pronounces it like the French le roi!

  36. 36.

    MattF

    December 2, 2011 at 8:38 am

    @kay: Obama’s ‘self-aggrandizement’ is another one of those World-of-Wingnut memes:

    http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3587

    Seems to me there’s something going on there that I just don’t get. Also, I didn’t really get the Vince Foster + drug dealing in the White House during the Clinton years, truth to tell. Something like “crazy counter-factual assertions are OK as long as they’re about Democrats.”

  37. 37.

    The Other Bob

    December 2, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Oh my god, I cannot even read the article at WaPo:

    “Newt Gingrich as president could turn the White House into an ideas factory”

  38. 38.

    kay

    December 2, 2011 at 8:39 am

    @El Cid:

    Yeah, if everyone politely agrees to treat Kasich’s and Newt’s legislative actions and histories as blandly positive, then, yeah, it rebounds to their positive.

    This is based on nothing, but I always feel as if there’s a “window” to go back and recite or correct the record. For Republicans/Clinton and the 1990’s, that window has slammed shut. We don’t get 15 years. We get (maybe) six months. If we don’t make a lot of noise at the time, we lose the opportunity.

    I think it’s valuable and worthwhile to keep insisting on the truth of what happened, but (most) people do have a “story” they’re going to tell themselves about what happened in the Clinton years, and I don’t know that anyone can move them off that 15 years out. That’s baked in pretty solid, whatever it is, and whether it’s true or not.

  39. 39.

    Shalimar

    December 2, 2011 at 8:45 am

    If Newt really is the best that your party has to offer, it’s time for a massive cult suicide.

  40. 40.

    kay

    December 2, 2011 at 8:46 am

    @MattF:

    Obama’s ‘self-aggrandizement’ is another one of those World-of-Wingnut memes:

    I wish.

    Maybe the word is, “self-aggrandizement”, maybe that’s a wingnut meme, but I feel as if “Obama is arrogant and acts above his station” is absolutely mainstream and pervasive. I hear versions of it all the time. It’s interesting, because it’s counter-factual (if polling is “fact”).

    One of the areas where Obama does quite well is “understands the challenges of ordinary people like me”, or questions in that realm. People DON’T think he’s arrogant or sneering or, um,…uppity. Pundits do. People don’t.

  41. 41.

    Shalimar

    December 2, 2011 at 8:49 am

    @low-tech cyclist: Sandwiched between Taft and Chris Christie is no way to be remembered.

  42. 42.

    Chris

    December 2, 2011 at 8:50 am

    @magurakurin:

    Powerful lot of stupid? The statistic that I keep coming back to is that close to half the country (40% I think) believes in hardcore creationism (not just “people evolved because God made them,” but outright “people never evolved, God created them like this.”)

    People who ignore or choose to disbelieve something that basic will literally believe anything.

  43. 43.

    amk

    December 2, 2011 at 9:22 am

    what is charles pearce babbling on about ‘history’ and newt ?

    This corrupt-to-the-core loafer is neither a historian nor is his ‘presidential’ campaign a ‘historical moment’.

    Fucking clueless lefties.

  44. 44.

    chopper

    December 2, 2011 at 9:38 am

    @Shalimar:

    speaking of cults, how must the tea party feel that the nom is coming down to gingrich vs romney? wow, lots of influence you guys wield, eh?

  45. 45.

    MarkJ

    December 2, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Wasn’t his campaign a laughing stock, even among conservatives, just a few short months back? Apparently all those conservative voters who thought he was an embarassment back then have forgotten already. They have the attention spans of two year olds and just as firm a grip on sound public policy.

  46. 46.

    mick boyce

    December 2, 2011 at 10:01 am

    what in the world can we do to help newt win the nomination? cause i luv this concept of newt v. obama. luv, luv, luv…

    come on people, these rats are not going to fuck themselves!
    give to the gingrich campaign today!

  47. 47.

    Nutella

    December 2, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Every time an article about Newt’s dignified statesmanlike qualities comes out, be sure to add comments linking to the famous tantrum picture.

  48. 48.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    December 2, 2011 at 10:41 am

    @beltane:

    I’m starting to think that even a gay Buddhist with fascist inclinations would be preferable to the Republican base than a Mormon who once said something sane years back.

    gay Buddhist? I think the GOP base would vastly prefer a KLINGON candidate.

    Except those Klingons have suspiciously liberal tendencies.

  49. 49.

    Nemesis

    December 2, 2011 at 11:35 am

    Poor old Mittbot v2.0 cant connect with the gop base. He has watched the base move so far to the crazy-tinged part of the spectrum, he cant make the needed recalibrations in his cardboard cortex to sling the requisite fire-breathing, read-meat-eating, uber-crazy word salads to appease the frothing usurper haters.

    Newton will confuse and perplex the unwashed mob base voter. His constant use of terms like “secular” and “colonialist” are designed to help Newton feel better about Newton. It has zero positive effect on getting voters to the polls.

    Unlike Mittbot v 2.0, Newton can effectively fling the required feces, but in an amatuerishly professorial manner that is off putting to NASCAR dudes who sit on their outdoor couches earnestly picking their noses while fantasizing about meeting Nancy Slam in a dark alleyway. To reach this all-too inhuman group, Newton needs to speak in single syllable, bumper sticker flashes or it becomes to much hard work for his audience to follow.

  50. 50.

    No One of Consequence

    December 2, 2011 at 11:38 am

    uhhmm… actually, I think left to their own devices, the rats *will* fuck themselves. It’s why they become problems in the first place.

    – NOoC

  51. 51.

    JR

    December 2, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    I wish I could believe that President Obama would be a lock vs. Professor Gingrivitus, but as remarked above, a large percentage of Americans don’t believe facts.

    I agree that people should be asked if they believe in Darwinism and that form of evolution before being treated medically. If they say no, bring out the leeches…

    That would create room in the medical system for actual patient care, and people who believe in facts would get to decide election outcomes.

    JR

  52. 52.

    Paul in KY

    December 2, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    @Shalimar: If all 3 of them were locked in the same small room, I wonder who would be the first to self-combust?

    My money would be on Newt.

  53. 53.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    December 2, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Usually the WaPo comment zone is a cess pool, but “Ideas, yeah right, Bad Ideas,” pretty much sums up what the vast majority think about His Newtness.

  54. 54.

    Death Panel Truck

    December 2, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    @Donut: This. They want Congress. I really don’t think they give a shit about the presidency.

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