Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“In the name of Zandar, I will fight the Stupid!”

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

In after Baud. Damn.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Go Senator Whitehouse!

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Republicans don’t trust women.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Let’s finish the job.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

This country desperately needs a functioning Fourth Estate.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

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93Comments

  8. 8.

    gaz

    Cole’s drunk, or getting there. =)

    I figure after the Pats victory and the march of open threads…

    one wonders. or at least I do

  9. 9.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Apparently the Huckabee Leg-humping Debate tonight was so bad even Sully just up and quit before the final ragegasms were completed.

  10. 10.

    kdaug

    What the hell is Big Shrimpin’ on Demand?

    I like shrimp (prefer to eat them over watching them, though), so I take it this is some stupid TV show?

    But seriously, where the hell does the “Demand” show up?

    “Get ye’ into me nets, ya shrimpies”??

    Startin’ to get worried about you, Cole.

    (All right, scratch the “startin'” part.)

  12. 12.

    FlipYrWhig

    This isn’t a particularly bad SNL, actually. I guess my standards are low.

    And Lana Del Rey is so horrendous I want to punish my ears for funneling her songs into my brain.

  14. 14.

    FlipYrWhig

    I’ve never heard her before. When I saw her, I said, is this going to be like that Florence and the Machine crap? Alas, the answer was, exactly, only worse.

  16. 16.

    kdaug

    No, seriously, now this is starting to bug me.

    What the hell is it? “Big Shrimpin’ On Demand”?

    I mean, if a friend told me he was watching some “Tomato Plant Whisperer” shit, it’d be cause for concern.

    Turn the TV off, Cole. Stick to the computer.

    Normally wouldn’t say this, but in your case, it sounds safer.

  20. 20.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    From the last open thread:

    Nostradumbass:

    Next you’ll be telling us you’re a Yankees and Red Wings fan as well.

    I like the Yankees, yes. The Dodgers are my No. 1 baseball team, though. I’m a NY Rangers fan, not Red Wings.

    So it goes, LOL.

  25. 25.

    Warren Terra

    Just finished watching the last of series 6 of Doctor Who on Netflix. FSM, I love Stephen Moffat.

  26. 26.

    burnspbesq

    Another innings win for Australia.

    In a series marked by shocking Indian collapses, this is the most shocking of all. They gave up their last four wickets in eight balls. Imagine a bullpen of four Mariano Riveras, and that’s a decent analogy to describe the Australian bowling in this series.

  27. 27.

    gaz

    @robertdsc-PowerBook: I wish I understood why people enjoyed football so that it wouldn’t bore me.

    Does it involve drinking? I’m pretty sure fishing and minature golf are in that category. Maybe that’s why I don’t grok it.

  29. 29.

    Warren Terra

    Oh, and my President came out against SOPA today, and Tebow has more free time to spend circumcising poor Filipino kids (and wondering why his god has forsaken him). All in all, a pretty good day.

  31. 31.

    gaz

    @Warren Terra: As far as the SOPA thing. Honestly, I’m so jaded at this point about our general state of political affairs (SNAFU comes to mind), that I just kinda wanted to see congress make all DNS servers in the united states obsolete and worthless overnight. You know – for teh lulz.

  32. 32.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    @paramedicx:
    No. Patriots in football since Brady came to town, Lakers in basketball (lifelong), Dodgers (lifelong), Yankees since 2003, and NY Rangers since 1992 when Messier came to town.

  33. 33.

    andy

    The day started bad. Woke up from a dream where I was being chased by angry dog in my own house.

    Later in the day when I was settled down I put together the cassoulet I had been planning for the weekend. We’re finally having some wintery weather up here in Brainerd (we even had a bit of snow) so I figured something heavy might be a good idea. Gotta say, greasy meats and beans were made for each other.

  34. 34.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    @gaz:
    I personally don’t drink, but there’s a lot of athleticism out on the football field. I like it for that. I also like the drama of late-game heroics. As for Brady and the Pats, I heard a lot of trash talk about Tebow, so smashing his face in is a good thing for me.

    Unfortunately, the Lakers lost, so my fucknut of a boss will be insufferable on Monday.

  35. 35.

    Anne Laurie

    @gaz:

    Honestly, I’m so jaded at this point about our general state of political affairs (SNAFU comes to mind)

    As someone who’s been paying attention to politics since the late 1960s, I say it’s really gone beyond ‘Situation Normal’ and is completely FUBAR (Fvcked Up Beyond All Recognition).

    (Yes, I keep running into people who don’t know those are acronyms.)

  36. 36.

    gaz

    @robertdsc-PowerBook: I rather enjoyed betting against the seahawks, and always winning – but that’s just because I am an asshole. I never watched the games.

    I’m about as athletic, as well – I run when chased.

    =)

    I like most international football, but basically because of awesome spectacle of it all, maybe more than the sport itself… – I’ve wanted to hit up a world cup – if I’m lucky maybe I’ll catch the next FIFA in Brazil – more of an experience, than anything.

    I’m not a sports nut – so I generally stay out of the football threads. When I don’t the results are remarkably – awkward. If you guys turn this into a football thread, I think I’ll sit it out, and spare myself some humiliation =P =) I know virtually nothing about the game. I’m lucky I can remember which team belongs to which sport.

  37. 37.

    gaz

    @Anne Laurie: I meant snafu, and I meant it in this case as fucked up is the new normal. if that’s a bastardization of the military use, well, guilty as charged. Sometimes I forget how many active service veterans lurk here =)

    /stands at attention
    /sir yes sir!
    /I’m sorry about the jelly donut sir!

  41. 41.

    gaz

    @robertdsc-PowerBook: Tebow actually makes me kinda interested in football.

    Tebow smashed his face in? heh.

    I hope he doesn’t buy into the
    “Jesus is my primary care provider”
    nonsense.

    =)

  44. 44.

    Calouste

    @burnspbesq:

    The Aussies aren’t that good. They lost at home to New Zealand last month for fuck’s sake. But in this series, only one team is playing cricket. The other one is playing ten-pin bowling.

  45. 45.

    suzanne

    @gaz:

    I wish I understood why people enjoyed football so that it wouldn’t bore me.

    I concur. I find it boring, and knowing how dangerous it is, it seems like the socially acceptable variant of watching gladiators in the arena. If I wanted to watch dudes smack into each other, I’d… well, not sure where I’m going with this. I suppose I need more stimulation than watching dudes smack into each other. I think it has to do with anxious American masculinity.

  48. 48.

    Geoduck

    @gaz:

    rather enjoyed betting against the seahawks, and always winning – but that’s just because I am an asshole. I never watched the games.

    Anyone stupid enough to bet the Seahawks are going to win a game deserves to have their money taken from them. The Seahawks always lose in the end. Always. They may have to go all the way to the Superbowl to do it, but they get there!

  49. 49.

    gaz

    @Geoduck: LOL, my thoughts exactly. I got a bruised rib over that superbowl though – but I ended up with their money in the end. (Alcohol was a factor – the authorities were not involved, and no animals were harmed.).

    And @JCole, your update made me get ice cream cake lodged in my sinus cavities. I’m sending you the medical bill =)

  51. 51.

    Cassidy

    @suzanne: Some people just like watching sports. Trying to offend the populous because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it true.

  55. 55.

    gaz

    @suzanne: I don’t mind a little bloodsport. I liked the mosh pits I was practically raised in. Huge punk fan when I was young, and a big scene where I grew up. Far too old and creaky for that now, and I can’t listen to 3 chord progressions and screaming for as long a stretch as I used to able to.

    OTOH I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up joining a Mexican riot or two – school teachers are pretty umm, involved there when it comes to politics. Actually my wife was down there for that, – she had a fear of helicopters for awhile after that – but next time around she’ll probably be a school teacher – rather than a foreigner stuck in the midst of it. Ahh – heady times ahead.

  58. 58.

    West of the Cascades

    Oregon wants to firebomb you right back, and would if it wouldn’t result in harm to innocent dogs and cat and if we could summon the energy to get away from our fourth microbrew of the night.

    Few people outside Portland realize Portlandia is a documentary, not a satire.

  60. 60.

    gaz

    @gaz: She was there for the 2006 ones. It was school teachers that time too. Sorry, my bad above. I didn’t realize it had happened again last year. heh.

  62. 62.

    freelancer

    JC@top:

    Someone here the other night mentioned the show and I finished the first season start to finish in 1 sitting after work. Now I know why I have to qualify my liberalism as “I’m a liberal from the Midwest, y’know, basically sane person, etc.” I don’t think I’ve laughed any harder in the last six months than when I watched the Japanese Coffee scene or the Artisan light bulb scene.

    http://youtu.be/jHKmcbPozQ0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P85vZpYF3Yg

    also the bike hipster getting pissed because the square white dude shared the same taste was hilarious

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOXsmNhvPEU

  63. 63.

    Yutsano

    Been out all day, up super early to make sure my friend gets to the airport. And I got insomnia. Woot.

  65. 65.

    Joel

    Portland is an awesome city. Since the Celtics suck so badly this season, I hope the Blazers win the NBA title this season, steamrolling Kobe, the Oklahoma City Sonics, and the Superfriends in the process.

  68. 68.

    patroclus

    I just saw Moneyball on cable. My prediction is that Brad Pitt will win the Oscar this year. The best baseball film I’ve ever seen.

    Robbie Robertson was extraordinarily beyond-the-pail pretentious in the Last Waltz, but I’m not sure if that should be held against him for the rest of his life. He’s done some good stuff since then.

  69. 69.

    Geoduck

    @Joel:

    the Oklahoma City Sonics

    I prefer to think of them as the Oklahoma City Carpetbaggers.

    @Calouste:

    You like Fawlty Towers is a documentary about English hotels?

    Frighteningly, Cleese’s character in FT was based on a real hotel owner the Pythons encountered while location filming.

  70. 70.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    The full douchebag for sports rooting goes something like this:

    Football: New England
    Baseball: Yankees
    Basketball: Lakers
    Hockey: Red Wings or Flyers

  73. 73.

    cbear

    …make a nun rape metaphor

    This should end well.

    OTOH, it’s good to see you back in fighting trim, Cole. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

  75. 75.

    Joey Maloney

    Why would you wish such a horrible thing on metaphor, and how would you prevail on a nun to commit rape, anyway?

  78. 78.

    Arundel

    Thought it was a decent SNL. And doesn’t Daniel Radcliffe seem like an immensely likeable guy? Lana del Rey.. uh. She seemed to be mumbling phonetically while fussing with her hair a lot, in her Oscars gown. All I could think was, so she’s the girlfriend of someone powerful, right?
    That’s the only reason I could think of to explain her appearance on the show.

  81. 81.

    Samara Morgan

    tch, tch, tch.
    more fun with nun rape metaphors.

    have you considered that you, John Cole, caused the Steelers to lose to the Broncos when you ganked ABL with your Greenwald shiv?
    your actions disturbed the platonic substrate of the metaverse.

  83. 83.

    Ben Cisco

    Charlie Pierce has an interesting post up discussing MLK, the legacy of the Civil Rights movement, and the current dog-whistling NeoConfederate candidates:
    __

    Race has popped up in the campaign this year. Newt Gingrich tripped over it while talking about food stamps and let’s not even deal with the preposterous lie that Rick Santorum told about how he really said “blah people.” Both of them were talking in gussied-up code, and they professed to be mystified as to how anyone could possibly think such a thing. And, of course, race has been a central theme (never a subtext; don’t even try to make that case) in the irrational hatred directed at the current occupant of the White House. And it’s not possible to read Lyndon’s great speech — in which he called out “every device of which human ingenuity is capable, has been used to deny this right” — and not think of all the smart little clerks all over the country with their smart little voter-ID laws who are so damned mystified as to why people are so upset.

  86. 86.

    Judas Escargot

    @Arundel:

    Lana del Rey.. uh. She seemed to be mumbling phonetically while fussing with her hair a lot, in her Oscars gown.

    It was as though Tori Amos and Beth Gibbons (of Portishead) made a splice-baby, and instructed it to try its hand at trippy lounge-singing.

  90. 90.

    Jamie

    Oh, come on. No more nun rape, you’ve used up all your jackass points on that.

    Fall back on skull-fucking kittens.

  91. 91.

    Jason

    @Judas Escargot: Actually, her performance reminded me much more of Chrissie Hynde singing “Brass in Pocket”. I always thought Hynde was a horrible singer, but plenty of people apparently loved her unique style of incomprehensible tuneless caterwauling; and so it will go with Lana Del Rey, I expect.

  93. 93.

    THE

    OK. You are right then. But I have to warn you: I am getting increasingly skeptical of the quantum consciousness thing.

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