Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

He really is that stupid.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Accountability, motherfuckers.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Bark louder, little dog.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Their freedom requires your slavery.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

All hail the time of the bunny!

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Reader Interactions

121Comments

  6. 6.

    passerby

    Awwww. He’s absolutely electric. And that onesie is some cute, too.

    Kisses to him and his happy belly!

  7. 7.

    BGinCHI

    That’s a cute little nipper. Definitely Baby Balloon Juice Calendar material when you get that project up and running.

    He looks like a little outlaw.

  8. 8.

    Jager

    15 years from now, starting left tackle for his high school, 6-3, 255, 4.99 40 yard dash, bench presses 200lbs 20 times and his pediatrian says, “he isn’t done growing yet”. First round draft pick of the Stillers in 2033 out of Pitt.

  10. 10.

    muddy

    He’s really looking right back atcha there! He’s ready to party, a real gleam in his eye.

  16. 16.

    Raven

    OK, I’m getting bombed with emails about ” A critical part of President Barack Obama’s new healthcare initiative, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act—commonly known as Obamacare—is the Independent Payment Advisory Board.” And I can’t find much support for it when I google it. What gives?

  18. 18.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Soonergrunt:

    I knew that the second I hit “submit” but I couldn’t control myself.

    John, no offense, he is as adorable as Tunch, Lily and Rosie combined.

    But with a bigger dong than any of them.

  23. 23.

    khead

    But with a bigger dong than any of them.

    Still wrong…. but still funny.

    That is one cute kid.

  24. 24.

    Cacti

    @Raven:

    The lies in that article start with the second sentence.

    Composed of members to be appointed by the president without Senate confirmation

    Patently false.

  25. 25.

    A Humble Lurker

    He’s adorable. He’s got such a happy face and I wanna pinch those wittle cheekies. The bib is awesome, too. I love you for these ‘everybody cheer up/calm down here’s some cute pictures’ man. I never get tired of them.

  27. 27.

    JGabriel

    @Jager:

    First round draft pick of the Stillers in 2033 out of Pitt.

    Good god, I wouldn’t wish a pro football career on anyone. Have you seen the health problems most of those guys have after 40?

    .

  28. 28.

    Jager

    I forgot to add, throughout his long HOF career, he never forgot the good advice and guidance he received from his Godfather. He rewarded him with season tickets for all Stiller games, tickets to the 4 Superbowls he played in and had him be one of the speakers at his HOF induction. His Godfather owns and operates Tunche’s Stiller Memorabilia Shop and blog out of his house in W.Virgina.

  31. 31.

    joeyess

    Indoctrinating young children like that.

    For Shame!

    Next thing ya know, he’s gonna be a DFH, liberal, sharia law lovin’, Kenyan-usuper votin’ kook.

  32. 32.

    4jkb4ia

    That’s impossibly cute.

    @Raven: Ezra completely agrees with this. The IPAB is meant to keep down payments to Medicare and was given more power to do so than in previous iterations of Medicare. The stronger IPAB is one of the more prominent cost control features of the bill.

  34. 34.

    joeyess

    @Raven: why are we talking about Obama-type indoctrination when clearly we have an urgent situation developing here what with Cole hammering liberalism and witchcraft into a small baby????

  38. 38.

    Soonergrunt

    @Raven: The Independent Payment Advisory Board is a real thing. It was constituted to control cost growth in Medicare without compromising level or quality of service. From the Wikipedia article, section on membership:

    IPAB is composed of fifteen members appointed by the President, subject to Senate confirmation. The Secretary of HHS, the Administrator of the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services, and the Administrator of the Health Resources and Services Administration serve ex officio as nonvoting members.[15] In making the appointments, the President consults with the Majority Leader of the Senate concerning the appointment of three members; the Speaker of the House of Representatives concerning the appointment of three members, the Minority Leader of the Senate concerning the appointment of three members, and the Minority Leader of the House of Representatives concerning the appointment of three members.[16]
    …
    The first members appointed to the Board will be divided into three staggered classes in order to ensure that their terms do not expire simultaneously. Five will be appointed for a term of one year, five will be appointed for a term of three years, and five will be appointed for a term of six years. All subsequent appointments will be made for six years. A member may not serve more than two full consecutive terms.[17] Individuals who are directly involved in providing or managing the delivery of Medicare items and services may not constitute a majority of IPAB’s membership.
    …
    The President of the United States must establish a system for public disclosure by IPAB members of any financial and other potential conflicts of interest. As it currently stands, no IPAB member may be engaged in any other business, vocation or employment.[1]
    …
    Members will be paid at a rate described in Level III of the Executive Schedule that determines pay for senior executive branch officials. As of 2010 this is $165,300 per year.[11]

  39. 39.

    Whitney

    Too Cute… A future super-Steeler fan. Oh, and John, I wear a medium shirt, feel free to send me one, while you’re out. ~your lost older Steeler’s goddaughter

  41. 41.

    Fluke bucket

    Always good to keep a pacifier handy. Mr. Cole you are an extremely fortunate man.

  42. 42.

    4jkb4ia

    @Raven:

    First of all the editorial is right-wing hooey. I intended to say that Ezra would agree that it was critical. Dems are being gutless in supporting it inasmuch as they don’t trust Congress to keep Medicare under control, and that’s entirely justified. The ACA had a number of cost experiments that no one knows will work or not–if you have something that you know will work for the same quality of care you don’t need an independent body.

  43. 43.

    PTirebiter

    Sock Monkey P.J.s are okay, but Yodas ‘n shit would be better until you can get him a dinner jacket.

  44. 44.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Cacti, @AkaDad: First two sane comments I’ve seen on this board re the Soot&Urine, who will be dooking it out with the Brownstains for the AFCN cellar this season.

    (Disclaimer: Lifelong Baltimorean & proud Ravens fan here. Confusion to the Stealers!)

  45. 45.

    LT

    MY GOD. You got a cat made out of 100% pure sneer – and a godson made out 100% pure cute. Jesus on wickets, that baby would make HItler’s anus smile. Wow.

    EDIT: Honestly, they should try to get that exact photo blown up into ginormous size and placed on billboards all over the world. Call this first, bizarrely violent era of human history done.

  46. 46.

    Paddy

    The. Most. Adorable.

    I do smell baby fever all over that post though. Someone needs to put some serious effort into the home life. Just sayin’.

  48. 48.

    LT

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Wow. He has a HUGE dong for a little kid!

    I made a long snore-laugh because of that.

    EDIT: I have a wrong back that has in the last few days evolved to that ball of barbed-wire behind the shoulder blade thing that hates yawns – and laughter. And you are still hurting me minutes later.

  49. 49.

    Raven

    @Soonergrunt: The one that got my attention was from an old, and I mean old, chopper pilot who forwarded it from the Uniformed Services Disabled Retirees organization.

  52. 52.

    CaseyL

    D’awww.

    Looking at his right hand, he seems to have reached that interesting stage when babies figure out how to pinch their forefinger and thumb together, are fascinated, and take great joy in showing everyone how it’s done. (I think that’s the first bit of fine motor control they develop.)

    Other Peoples’ Kids are the best: you can love ’em up, cuddle ’em, blow raspberries into their bellies, get ’em all revved up… and then hand them back to their parents.

  53. 53.

    metalgirl

    So cute – love the jammies too :) You done good, Mr. Cole, to have those friends and I know you’ll be a great influence on the little fella!

  55. 55.

    MosesZD

    Soooo, John………. No SWTOR references in quite some time… You give up on that dog? Or are you still like the 800K or so still left thinking there might be a pony?

  65. 65.

    scav

    I don’t know — going to be hard to improve on penguin onesies and nerdish geeky computer stuff. This is going to be a serious cutie standard to match and you will be called upon to try.

  69. 69.

    Soonergrunt

    @Raven: who of course, will never have to deal with that because he’s on Tricare For Life.
    God damn but some people are morons.

  70. 70.

    noodler

    Your godson cole. Progeny of your brother perchance? Is his name cole cole? who would do that to a little boy? Or does he belong to the sister on the MS ride with the pin in her wrist? Oh, wait, now methinks that this is the birth you blogged about round about new years. So much JC personal information coming out lately.

  71. 71.

    General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)

    On Senate vote for Keystone, wingnuts wail that they have a majority and Obama is blocking that majority. No shit, swear to the gawd of mutant hypocrisy.

    Lugar said. “He understood that a majority of the American public and a majority at least of the Senate are strongly in favor of this project.

    “So I suppose you give credit to the president for once again blocking something, but I don’t think the president really wants to do that indefinitely,” he added.

    Ha Ha Ha. UP OR DOWN VOTE UP OR DOWN VOTE.

    “We got a majority in the Senate,” said amendment sponsor Sen. John Hoeven (R-N.D.), who noted that two senators — Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) and John Thune (R-S.D.) — were absent. “So we would have had 58 votes had all Republicans been able to be here.”

    And damn, here I thought it took 60 votes in the senate to pass anything. I swear to FSM, I heard that before. But that is just for anything Obama wants to pass, I reckon. A republican majority is 41 to 59, or thereabouts.

  73. 73.

    lamh35

    So let me get this straight, NOW they are too happy to ally themselves with POTUS. Ugh.

    Democrats Are Warming to Obama Connection

    Just six months ago, having their names uttered in the same sentence as President Obama’s was something many Congressional Democrats could have lived without…But with the economy slowly crawling back to life, a shift in messaging at the White House and a Republican push on social issues, Democrats are accepting — and in some cases openly embracing — the inevitable yoking of their campaigns to Mr. Obama’s as election-year activities accelerate. On Capitol Hill, Democrats have begun to mention Mr. Obama more often and have gone out of their way to publicly back some of his proposals.

  74. 74.

    Soonergrunt

    @ABL: LOL
    I’m in a twitter fight at the moment with a fucking moron. I had to double check to make sure the username wasn’t @fuckingmoron.
    Who the hell would read anything I’ve ever written ANYWHERE and think for one moment that I was a conservative?
    This idiot got a sad because she’s like “check out this 4000 year old story” with a bullshit link to some bullshit religious story about how the government should be run and I’m like “I live in the 21st century and I like indoor plumbing so I’ll stay here” and she got all sad because I’m not smart enough to see the parallell to some bible story that has no parallell to the modern world.
    #fuckingmoron

  79. 79.

    SarahT

    @lamh35: That’s about the most articulate thing ever said by a Gallagher brother. He must’ve followed up by smashing Liam over the head with bottle of Taittinger or something.

  80. 80.

    Jimbo316

    As a Pittsburgher (and we’re the only one in the country to keep the “h” because of a 19th century official naming revolt) I have to say that Santorum is not even remotely representative of our glorious city and surrounding suburbs (since poor Pittsburgh is mostly its metropolitan area).

    This city is a fighting liberal/progressive froth with a conservative sometimes Dem/sometimes GOP base. The city is on the forefront of industrial and health research, amongst other fields but does have a layer of santorumites.

    I grew up as a solid Catholic but back in the 1960s Catholic in Pittsburgh was about ecumenism and the War on Poverty and, yes, Liberation Theology. John Paul II dragged Catholics back into the medieval era and that has just destroyed the American Progressive Catholic community. I have no time for the Catholic Church, now, frankly; they are just an authoritarian right-wing ideology with a few positions that are positive (anti-death penalty, give food to the poor-pathetic)

  83. 83.

    Soonergrunt

    @Jimbo316:

    back in the 1960s Catholic in Pittsburgh was about ecumenism and the War on Poverty and, yes, Liberation Theology. John Paul II dragged Catholics back into the medieval era and that has just destroyed the American Progressive Catholic community.

    Which is fucked up because without liberation theology, he would’ve lived and died under the communist thumb. In fact, he himself was all about the liberation theology until the Soviet Union collapsed.

  84. 84.

    RedKitten

    Oh my! The nom-able cheeks, the wrist chub, the cute little twinkle in his eyes, and that baby-soft hair. I can almost smell that amazing baby smell from here. Tell the parents of young Cole to enjoy and document every moment that they can — that first year just FLIES by. Mine is now over three feet tall and is fully capable of using a computer mouse correctly (seriously, he can minimize my window and go open his games. It’s terrifying.)

  85. 85.

    Jimbo316

    Sorry for the previous rant. Your godson is very cute and has a distinctly ironic smile, which is oh so appropriate. Still, here’s hoping he inherits a better world than the one we live in now (of course that’s what we hope all of our children will inherit).

  89. 89.

    Citizen_X

    @JGabriel:

    I wouldn’t wish a pro football career on anyone. Have you seen the health problems most of those guys have after 40?

    Ah, but they have the potential to have romantic and sexual relations with other human beings. As a matter of fact, a pretty strong potential.

    WoW fans? Not so much.

    ETA: OK, that was a little mean, but I couldn’t resist.

  90. 90.

    Jimbo316

    @Soonergrunt: Exactly. We live in a world of wildly interactive relationships – working and personal – all over the world. That’s the real world. Rather it’s the world everybody lives in. Then there’s the Zombie Political World that interacts only through all the political meetings, conventions, workshops, etc. (I know this world.) This is the world we see on TV but which heavily depends on those who live in the ordinary world.

    But their views are rarely represented in the public voice (and, of coure, are entirely ignored by the GOP (but that’s another story).

  93. 93.

    Constance

    I just bookmarked that beautiful baby so I can start the next few days with him first thing when I turn on the computer.

  94. 94.

    Martin

    @Citizen_X:

    Ah, but they have the potential to have romantic and sexual relations with other human beings. As a matter of fact, a pretty strong potential.

    Texting pictures of your junk and raping girls in the bathroom aren’t usually considered to be particularly romantic.

  96. 96.

    General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)

    Buckle up. And hold on tight. This could well become the next GOP poutrage dujour, might even make Brietbart return from the grave and eat your brane.

    CNN) — A U.S. district judge ordered New York City to pay $128 million in to firefighters who allege the city used an entrance exam that deliberately sought to keep African-Americans and Latino Americans off the force. The judge also ordered the FDNY to hire 293 black and Latino applicants.

    I can already hear Hinderockers head fixing to explode, with Malkin firing up the wingnut posse of white republican butthurt. I’m putting on a batch of popcorn.

  99. 99.

    OzoneR

    @General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero):

    I can already hear Hinderockers head fixing to explode, with Malkin firing up the wingnut posse of white republican butthurt. I’m putting on a batch of popcorn.

    Ugh, why won’t this case go away. The blatant racism I hear from firefighters over this is so disgusting. They use the “n” word like its nothing and then like to throw in “fucking n*gg*r-loving liberals”

    I once tried to explain those were the same people protecting their unions and I almost got beat up for it.

    Forget it, the firehouses in this city are teabagging paradise.

  100. 100.

    OzoneR

    @General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero): Example. This;

    The lawsuit alleged that the exams had little to do with firefighting and instead focused on cognitive and reading skills. Because of the hereditary nature of the fire department, white candidates were recruited and supported throughout the application process by family or neighborhood contacts and whites consistently passed while minority candidates failed.

    My friend’s brother-in-law is in the FDNY and complains “my friends nephew can’t get on the force cause we need to hire some n*gg*r” What the lawsuit says is true, is true and they openly admit it and don’t understand why its a problem.

    It’s rather shocking actually

  101. 101.

    Violet

    So, so cute! The WoWbib contrasts hilariously with the penguin onesie. He’s so big. Has it really been that long since he was born?

  102. 102.

    Martin

    @OzoneR: Actually, the president of the union sided with the city. Relative. Lots of relatives in NYFD and NYPD. Proud of their actions, not their words. And yeah, lots of teabaggers and lots of racists.

  103. 103.

    Martin

    @OzoneR:

    Because of the hereditary nature of the fire department, white candidates were recruited and supported throughout the application process by family or neighborhood contacts and whites consistently passed while minority candidates failed.

    Yep. I’ve got whole branches of the family tree in the NYFD. You get a couple captains, and they get all of the kids and nephews in. Lots in NYPD and MTA cops too. 9/11 was a full-on family emergency. I had about 30 family members as first responders and missing that day. All were fine, but it took a couple of days to get everyone accounted for.

    Edit: I never quite considered it, but my family might be more responsible for this than any other. Need to ask my dad next time I talk to him – he keeps tabs better than I do. I’m pretty solidly excommunicated.

  104. 104.

    Rick

    Not to be a pain in the ass here, but doesn’t being a godparent generally imply a belief in God and stuff (which–for the record–I neither endorse nor oppose). Just askin’

  110. 110.

    GregB

    By the way, the latest Ghost of Breitbart lame hack job on Obama sort of throws water on the “no one ever saw Obama in college” line of attack.

  111. 111.

    Mnemosyne

    @Rick:

    Not necessarily. A lot of people use it as “honorary aunt/uncle” these days even if they’re not religious.

  112. 112.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    For some stupid reason, Lawrence O’Donnell had not-Joe the not-Plumber on his show this evening. I briefly un-muted it, and heard the phrase “the Democrat Party”. Now, he did have Marcy Kaptur on right after him…

  115. 115.

    chaucer

    i’m pretty sure, from the expression on his face, that he is in the middle of taking a poop.

  116. 116.

    Paul in KY

    @Jager: All 4 of those Super Bowls were lost to the Cleveland Browns (who switched to NFC in 2022)!

    Thus matching the Bills streak.

    Damn cute baby, though.

  120. 120.

    St Patty

    He looks like the wee man who pours the Guiness at the Shamrock!

    Underage?.. or Photoshop! you make the call

  121. 121.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Paul in KY: Here’s just the thing for your viewing pleasure, Brownie faithful.

    (FTR #1: If you want to rag on someone for the Flight of the Browns, I strongly suggest you direct your ire toward Paul Tagliabue & Jack Kent Cooke [Tags, who kept an expansion franchise out of Baltimore so that JKC could claim the region for his Deadskins] & your entire set of idiot politicians ca. 1995 [for trying to squeeze Modell into selling the Browns to someone who’d keep them in Cleveland].)

    (FTR #2: Stop whining about 3 years without NFL–you’re 10 years short of what we had to endure & you don’t have to watch the team that left continue to play in your uniforms & claim your history.)

    (FTR #3: Even so, I hope the Orange Helmets win a Lombardi before the Squealers get another. Maybe you can let the Modell thing go then, even though you’ll continue to hate us. [All fans of AFCN teams should detest every other team in the division–it’s as natural as a baby’s smile. {Which is where we came in…}])

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