Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

The revolution will be supervised.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

After roe, women are no longer free.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Peak wingnut was a lie.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Damn it feels good to be a banksta

Reader Interactions

35Comments

  1. 1.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    See that little cross in the sky? That’s a Predator drone. From it will come a Hellfire missile to take it all away from you. Fucker.

  2. 2.

    Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor

    “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
    __
    –Dorothy Parker

  3. 3.

    MikeJ

    I just glanced at my $45,000 Chopard watch, and it’s telling me that my Rolls-Royce may not make it to the airport in time for my private jet flight.

    He’s not actually living like a billionaire if he’s concerned about other people’s schedules.

  4. 4.

    PsiFighter37

    This is such a stupid, vapid article…good to see that the Times is putting their online subscription revenue towards tripe like this.

    Also, too, I have acquaintances who know the author of that article in real life. He gives off the impression that he desperately wants to be in / is fascinated by the financial industry, so it’s no wonder that he wrote something like this. It’s a perfect recounting of a life he wish he had.

  7. 7.

    jl

    @PsiFighter37: I just assumed it was the NY Times, and did not even bother to notice what it was as I read through the article. Thanks for the confirmation.

  8. 8.

    burnspbesq

    The time it took me to read that silly article is time I will never get back. You’ll pay for this.

  13. 13.

    Mark S.

    In the locker room alone after my workout, I feel unsettled. Where’s my bodyguard? Where’s my chauffeur? Why is nobody offering me an amuse-bouche while I shampoo my hair?

    This idiot has been pretending to be a billionaire for half a day, and he’s already become this attached to having a bodyguard and a chauffeur? I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is bullshit.

  14. 14.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    @Citizen_X:

    You act like Divine Right ever went out of style. It’s just called either Predestination or Libertarianism these days.

  15. 15.

    Amir Khalid

    @MikeJ:
    The sad thing about those more-expensive-than-a-car watches is that they’re mechanical. Any cheap, low-end digital Casio will easily outdo them in accuracy.

  16. 16.

    300baud

    I guess if I have to ask whether or not it’s a subtle satire of journalism and/or clueless entitlement, I already know the answer.

    God, how revolting. The author, his editors, the billionaire, the toadies. Revolting.

  17. 17.

    BruceFromOhio

    God decided it should be me.

    And when She decides you’ve fucking pissed on it all instead of living the life She gave you, She’s going to take it back, along with your soul, and everything that ever meant anything to you.

    Be smug while you still can.

  18. 18.

    MikeJ

    @Amir Khalid: The low reliability of expensive watches directly relates to my point. If you’re rich enough it doesn’t matter what time it is.

  21. 21.

    Jim Newell

    During the trip, I ask the billionaire what it’s like to be among the richest people in the world.

    “Look,” he says. “I think all it does is make things easier.”

    Like most of the wealthy people I’ve met while covering Wall Street, he plays down the effects of money. “I don’t think it changes you that much,” he said. “The happy guy who makes tons of money is still happy. If somebody’s a jerk before, he’s a jerk when he’s got a billion dollars.”

    I love the nonchalant attitude of this. Yeah, being a billionaire “makes things easier,” but you’re still the same guy, still unhappy, still have family problems, etc. It’s just a little money, they could take it or leave it. Is this a confirmation from a billionaire that there’s a ceiling beyond which more money brings essentially zero utility? Is he dismissing the supply-side economic system that made him so obscenely wealthy? It would’ve been fun to call bullshit on him with that, since I’ve always noticed that billionaires work extremely hard to ensure, to everyone else’s detriment, that they keep taking it and never leave one cent of it. Instead the Timesman goes on about his clothes, his watch, the gym, and how wacky it is being princess for the day.

  22. 22.

    freelancer

    During the trip, I ask the billionaire what it’s like to be among the richest people in the world.
    __
    “Look,” he says. “I think all it does is make things easier.”

    DIAF.

    Privilege. It opens doors. That’s all.

  23. 23.

    freelancer

    When I wake up the next morning, my Timex watch, bought on sale a couple of years ago, goes back on my wrist. I put on my unshined shoes and slip on my blue jacket, the one with a hole in the pocket.
    __
    On my way to the subway, I stop in at my local coffee shop and order a cappuccino. It’s slightly burnt, like always. But this morning, in the haze of my hangover, it tastes rich. Really, sublimely rich.

    Also, you poors should relish the fact that you live such stress-free lives, without the constant invasions of privacy by bodyguards that you have to pay $250, two personal trainers hounding you when you get on a treadmill, and your personal assistant oppressing you with VIP seats for the Opera that you have to attend. What a creature like Buffet would kill for a day living life in a non-tailored sport jacket, drinking scorched coffee like the rest of the plebes!

    FUCK YOU.

    People are dying and going homeless down here. In the greatest country in the history of the planet.

    FUCK YOU

  24. 24.

    Wilson Heath

    Although I grew up Catholic, it’s not that but American politics that fills me with a seething hatred of Calvinism.

    And no one’s got to live that life. Fucker should be kissing the feet of every peasant who doesn’t try to take him to the guillotine.

  25. 25.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    @Citizen_X:

    Shit. Are we back to Divine Right?

    If he really feels favoured by God, he should jump off the balcony of his fucking penthouse. If God loves him, God will save him…

  27. 27.

    cmorenc

    @MikeJ:

    @Amir Khalid: The low reliability of expensive watches directly relates to my point. If you’re rich enough it doesn’t matter what time it is.

    The ski lifts still close at 4pm (or whatever the particular resort closing time is), even for Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, no matter who you are. And you don’t ski or golf one whit better with whatever expensive equipment you may choose to buy. What $$$$$$ will get you is renting a ski instructor for the day all to yourself, so you can cut lift lines.

  28. 28.

    JoeShabadoo

    @cmorenc:
    I don’t think you realize how rich Gates and Buffet really are.
    If they want something open later it stays open later. If they want to the mountain all to themselves they get it all to themselves. They could cover a mountain in Hawaii with snow just so they could ski for the afternoon. These guys could literally buy a country.

    Just by moving their money they can destroy economies. The kind of power people with that much money have is incredible and frankly dangerous.

  29. 29.

    El Cid

    In fairness, that ‘God said it should be me’ comment depends entirely upon its sound and context for its meaning.

    If you’re a billionaire and can in the least grasp that you’re in that position in most part due to a grand and hellish lottery, this isn’t a bad statement per se.

    If it’s the sweeping arms, “God loved ME more than the other fucks” sort of way, it’s one thing. If it’s more the, “Fuck, I dunno, I worked what I thought was hard / my Dad had a pretty big business, and here I am” kind of way, it’s different.

  30. 30.

    Starfish

    Actually, I really enjoyed his novel “The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University. “

  31. 31.

    Starfish

    Actually, I really enjoyed his novel “The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University. “

  34. 34.

    Some Loser

    @JoeShabadoo:

    How come the second and third richest persons on Earth support higher taxes for the rich, but Republicans cannot conceive of the idea? With all that money, you’d think the two could purchase better politicians! I guess money can’t solve everything.

  35. 35.

    jtothefckinmacsta

    I used to eat sardines for dinner
    used to be the opposite of a winner
    We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us
    No heat, wonder why Christmas missed us
    Birthdays was the worst days
    Now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay
    Uh, damn right I like the life I live
    ‘Cause I went from negative to positive

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