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I really should read my own blog.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

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Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

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There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

You are here: Home / Post-punk David Broder

Post-punk David Broder

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I’m surprised anyone is this gullible:

Q. BIPARTISANSHIP

I love your blog because you’re one of the few bipartisan centrists who realize that both sides do it, where “it” is pretty much any bad thing. You’re like the post-punk David Broder. Have you always been so fair and balanced or is it something you learn over time as journamalist?
– May 22, 2012 11:14 AM Permalink

A. ALEXANDRA PETRI :

ALL RIGHT, WHO FILLED THIS CHAT WITH PLANTS WHO ARE BEING MUCH TOO KIND?

I’m going to start using “post-punk David Broder” on my promotional materials.

Thank you for saying this. I don’t know how often I succeed at this, but I really, really try. When I finally retrieved my mail after several months of allowing it to suppurate in the mail room, I was pleased to have notes from both sides complaining in strident terms that I was ruining everything. Some weeks the bar swings one way and some weeks it swings the other, but obviously no one party has a monopoly on idiocy. That would make things too easy.

– May 22, 2012 11:30

Reader Interactions

103Comments

  1. 1.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    Hook, line, sinker.

    Any fish that stupid doesn’t deserve to reproduce anyway.

  4. 4.

    JenJen

    You are SO BAD. And I love it. Can’t stop laughing!!

    “Thank you for saying this. I don’t know how often I succeed at this, but I really, really try.”

    LOL LOL

  6. 6.

    Nutella

    “I really, really try” to be a journamalist?!?!

    That’s some ace trolling there.

  7. 7.

    wvng

    Dying here. Simply perfect. It is nearly as perfect as the whole George Tierney Jr. of Greenville, South Carolina is a colossal dick thing that swallowed the blogosphere yesterday.

  9. 9.

    Waynski

    We should have an award for this kind of epic trolling, but then I guess Doug J would win every month/year.

  10. 10.

    Zifnab

    “Finally, someone appreciates the way I make everyone else unhappy!”

    Is there another industry in the world were a businessman can say “All my clients think I’m an airhead hack working against their interests” with any hint of pride? Maybe Wall Street.

  11. 11.

    SatanicPanic

    You were really laying it on thick. I would have thought fair and balanced would have given you away. I give your trolling a perfect 10.

  15. 15.

    Chad

    your letter made him feel like a million bucks, he’s probably been preening up and down the hallway all day, getting cards made with “post-Punk David Broder” printed on them. It’s cute.

  16. 16.

    Legalize

    Thanks a lot. Now whenever I throw on “Pink Flag” I have to think about this asshole at the WaPo.

  18. 18.

    mpbruss

    Is post-punk supposed to be like post-hardcore? Did you just call her emo David Broder? Oh, if only I knew my way around Photoshop…

  21. 21.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Doug J, you surprise too easily.

    This woman is an intellectual giant along the lines of Sarah Palin.

  22. 22.

    Tonybrown74

    Oh, my word …

    That dear sweet, sweet lady …

    Not even an ounce of sense or self-awareness to save her life, bless her heart!

  23. 23.

    dmsilev

    Off topic, this is awesome:

    A British auction website has put up for sale a vial which it says was used to hold a sample of President Ronald Reagan’s blood, drawn after Reagan was shot by John Hinckley Jr. on March 30, 1981.
    […]
    The owner claims that they contacted the Reagan National Library several months ago about the vial, and was told that the Reagan family was interested in the vial being returned. “I told him that I didn’t think that was something that I was going to consider, since I had served under Pres. Reagan when he was my Commander in Chief when I was in the ARMY from ‘87-‘91 and that I was a real fan of Reaganomics and felt that Pres. Reagan himself would rather see me sell it rather than donating it,” the letter concludes.

  24. 24.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    I have acquired some pretty decent troll-fu. I sometimes feel pretty good about my abilities.

    Then you remind me that I have so much left to learn. This is how a master does it, folks.

  25. 25.

    Brachiator

    I’m surprised anyone is this gullible

    I didn’t know who Alexandra Petri was. After googling her, I still barely know who she is.

    So, I guess it means something that she is “gullible.” But not enough to spend a lot of time pondering it.

  31. 31.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @rea:

    Well, she certainly displays the intellectual heft of the life forms often found in those particular dishes.

  33. 33.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Now that I think about it, Sarah Palin was taken to the cleaners by a couple of DJs in Montreal who managed to get through to her posing as the French president.

    Just appeal to some people’s ego, and every ounce of skepticism they ever might have possessed vanishes like a rain shower evaporating on a sunny June day.

  34. 34.

    swearyanthony

    I bow down in the vague area of the north eastern united states (being unclear exactly where DougJ is, New York maybe?)

    DougJ, you truly are the king of the trolls. None dare stand against your Poe-Hammer.

  38. 38.

    Doctor Science

    DougJ, I fear I must tarnish your crown, there.

    She’s a *comedian*. This is a “tell me your yucks” column. She thinks you’re funny, she’s being funny back.

  39. 39.

    slag

    Thank you for saying this. I don’t know how often I succeed at this, but I really, really try.

    Way to prioritize, Alexandra Petri of the Washington Post!

  40. 40.

    Jebediah

    You were really laying it on thick. I would have thought fair and balanced would have given you away. I give your trolling a perfect 10.

    My thought exactly – I couldn’t believe it worked. I guess part of being a master troll is knowing your victim well enough to know when you can really push it.
    I await her claims that she totally got it and that her reply was playing along, or something.

  44. 44.

    eemom

    @Mark S.:

    She’s a C list WaPo twit, and the only reason I know that is that I see her column in the dead tree version occasionally.

    And DougJ does indeed have her pegged to a T. She’ll be taking yoga after this in order to get flexible enough to [ ] her own [ ].

  46. 46.

    Jamey

    I nominate “Post-punk Broder” to replace “leper messiah” as the Outstanding Achievement in Empty Praise, Political Punditry/Rock and Roll Category.

  47. 47.

    arguingwithsignposts

    I don’t even … wait, what? Really? George Tierney, Jr. of Greenville, South Carolina would be proud.

  48. 48.

    Unsympathetic

    If they tell themselves they’re being fair and balanced enough times, just like Dorothy clicking her heels together, they’ll magically be transported to the land of centricity.

    And it has an equal chance of happening.

  50. 50.

    Violet

    Thing of beauty, DougJ. Pure art. “Post-punk David Broder” is what catches the eye, but “journamalist” is the touch that makes it art.

  51. 51.

    TaMara (BHF)

    Meanwhile AZ continues to entertain:

    The Star-Advertiser reported that Zullo and Mackiewcz flashed badges on Monday when they showed up at the Hawaii Department of Health. Mackiewcz apparently also handed over a business card showing he is part of the Arizona sheriff’s “Threats Management Unit.”

    My favorite part? Tax payer funded.

  52. 52.

    feebog

    “Post-punk Broder” is just far enough out there to be at the edge of word salad without actually falling into the bowl.

  53. 53.

    slag

    Gotta say…extra credit for:

    where “it” is pretty much any bad thing

    Fucking cynicism! How does it work?

    I typically prefer to think of journamalists as unwitting victims of a screwed up system established on an unholy bricolage of cultural inanity and path dependence. It’s depressing to see them expose their willful abetting in such a way. Makes it harder and harder to not outright despise them as a rule.

  55. 55.

    Ash Can

    I’m wiping tears here. This entire thread, including the OT bits, is 24-karat win.

    ETA: I get the feeling we’ll be seeing “post-punk David Broder” in the rotating sub-heads.

  56. 56.

    Downpuppy

    @Doctor Science: I read a few of her columns. She tries to be a comedian. But her style is completely “both sides do it, don’t bore me with issues”.

    Doug had her dead to rights. Even if she spotted him, she had no choice but to put the noose over her own head.

  57. 57.

    gordon schumway

    DougJ,
    One advantage of going on sabbatical is that you have a whole new set of IP addresses that haven’t yet been blocked by the Washington Post!

    I do hope we don’t have to wait 7 years for the next batch of trolling.

  61. 61.

    swearyanthony

    This post should be paired with the Joseph Kony “both sides criticize” post, printed out, and staple-gunned to the forehead of every member of the Washington press corp. Wait, I meant nail-gunned.

  62. 62.

    catclub

    @srv: “says was used to hold a sample of Reagan’s blood”

    so there is no blood left in the vial, but the person is willing to swear that his blood was in it.

    A relic from The Sainted One.
    I wonder under what conditions it will be found to erupt again in gouts of blood? Perhaps the anniversary of the shooting? Or the anniversary of some tax increase?

    I also note that the vial was effectively stolen (or was a result of dumpster diving), but not necessarily by this person, who served under Reagan in 1987
    (i.e 6 years after the events in question).

    I did enjoy that last line of the letter.

  63. 63.

    Suffern ACE

    @Downpuppy: Yep. Went from Harvard to getting a semi-regular spot giving the edgy young female opinion at the Post in a very short time. Like Dowd and Collins, she’s kind of an example of the standards for women columnists.

  65. 65.

    Zach

    What would post-punk David Broder think about, “Rather be forgotten than remembered / for giving in?”

  67. 67.

    catclub

    There may have been more than one troll in that chat:

    “Starting Punditry without Losing Job
    Hi, a big fan here. I am 23 and I work at a very traditional white collar service industry in a Southern city with coworkers who try not to offend anyone as much as they can. I love my job, but my biggest aspiration is to eventually become a pundit appearing on TV like in the Daily Show or something. I think they can really use a innocent-looking little Asian girl with heavy accent consistently complaining and swearing on TV. I think I can gain some publicity through posting YouTube videos or starting a blog. Unfortunately, this would most certainly cost me this job which I cannot afford to (I am on a working visa) and I do not want the company represented in a wrong way. So since you are in the business, what do you think would the safest way for me to get noticed for my pundit work? Is there at all a way that I can get closer to my goal without utilizing social media? I wonder what people used to get on TV before internet was available… “

  68. 68.

    jake the snake

    I don’t think we can afford to wait for the meteor.
    Look for me on Sentinel Hill near Dunwich, helping Wilbur Whately and his brother open the gate for Yog-Sothoth.

  71. 71.

    Citizen_X

    Eee-vil, Dougj, deliciously evil.

    @dmsilev:

    I had served under Pres. Reagan when he was my Commander in Chief when I was in the ARMY from ‘87-‘91

    Former C-in-C George H. W. BUSH gets no respect at all.

  72. 72.

    ...now I try to be amused

    Doug, you leave me torn. You trolled Alexandra Petri fair and square, but, but… she likes puns! We have a common weakness.

  74. 74.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @dmsilev:

    and that I was a real fan of Reaganomics and felt that Pres. Reagan himself would rather see me sell it(Regan’s blood) rather than donating it,” the letter concludes.

    Man the snark if flying quick and hard these days. ROFL

  76. 76.

    Jewish Steel

    Deliciously wicked, DougJ. Post-punk itself is such an equivocating term, how could she resist?

  77. 77.

    RalfW

    Speaking f gullible, this from NPR’s Ari Shapiro. I can just hear the door to his brain closing as he types “interesting thought.” Maybe it’s because I live in MN, and interesting is the passive-agressive word of choice to say “I don’t like this think I’d not previously been aware of.”

    How does this strike my fellow BJers:

    Ari Shapiro ‏@Ari_Shapiro interesting thought MT @javamanphil: According 2 @Ari_Shapiro story Romney remembers what dinner guest ate in ’71. Likely remembers bullying

  78. 78.

    R Kynard

    Scroll down for followup…

    Kidding a kidder
    You do know that post-punk David Broder guy (i.e., me) was mocking you, right?

    Alexandra Petri:
    ARGH, look, it’s like that scene in The Help. It had the external markings of a delightful pie and I skimmed the contents.

    It is sometimes hard to tell if someone is ironically insulting you or just not a good speller.

    I’m still using “post-punk David Broder” on my promotional materials, but I’ll put it in comic sans.

  79. 79.

    Alison

    LOLOL:

    Q. Kidding a kidder
    You do know that post-punk David Broder guy (i.e., me) was mocking you, right?

    A. Alexandra Petri:

    ARGH, look, it’s like that scene in The Help. It had the external markings of a delightful pie and I skimmed the contents.

    It is sometimes hard to tell if someone is ironically insulting you or just not a good speller.

    I’m still using “post-punk David Broder” on my promotional materials, but I’ll put it in comic sans.
    – May 22, 2012 12:02 PM

  80. 80.

    CardinalRed

    Bravo sir, a fitting encore to the George Tierney, Jr. of Greenville, South Carolina masterpiece.

    I love the toobz

  81. 81.

    SamR

    What’s crazy is that every single sentence was over the top, and collectively they were totally ridiculous.

    So Petri knows she’s being mocked now, but does she understand the joke? I feel like no.

  83. 83.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    @RalfW: I’m hopeful that his decision to RT it at least meant he thought it worthy to add to the conversation…but I would forgive anyone from concluding that I might be somewhat biased about that.

  84. 84.

    Alex

    If Ms. Petri entered a walk-a-thon she would asphyxiate herself — by forgetting to breathe.

  86. 86.

    The Tragically Flip

    I think what I love most is that the one centrist trope Doug left out of the question, she made sure to add to the answer:

    I was pleased to have notes from both sides complaining in strident terms that I was ruining everything.

    BOTH SIDES HATE ME I AM THUS GREAT

  87. 87.

    Alan in SF

    In which Ms. Petri convincingly demonstrates exactly why she has the job she does.

  88. 88.

    alien_radio

    Fuck me. I have to give that credit for being a truly epic troll of crystalline perfection. It had everything. Totebagger neologistic hook, facile statements peppered with absurdity and enough red flags to be playing fair. And the mark bites AND Delivers the flashing neon cherry that you left in front of her erects it and places her own plaque in front with I’m a cluless centerist goon emblazoned on it.

  89. 89.

    lovable liberal

    Well, Petri’s blog is called ComPost Live, so… truth in advertising, however inadvertent.

    I suppose that compost out of petri adds up to coprolite.

  90. 90.

    George Tierney of Greenville, South Carolina

    Who’s ALEXANDRA PETRI? Seriously.

    This is the first time I’ve ever read that name.

  94. 94.

    AA+ Bonds

    I remember when large numbers of Democrats accused the President of being a foreign-born Communist plant who works daily to create a Red-Islamic caliphate

    That was quite a day right there

  95. 95.

    AA+ Bonds

    @The Tragically Flip:

    BOTH SIDES HATE ME I AM THUS GREAT

    I always wonder if these people consider the far-far-right hate mail that far-right American commentators get about how they are all employees of the fiat-Zionist conspiracy

  96. 96.

    Gregory

    Genius.

    And falling for such a goof — to say nothing of accepting praise for being “fair and balanced” — should be a firing offense, especially for a paper that has pretensions of greatness like the Post.

  97. 97.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    It’s been quiet lately but I’m glad to see the Professor of trolling & spoof, DougJ, is back in fine form.

  98. 98.

    Two quarts low

    Never took a journamalism class, so somebody tell me are they all taught that if you get both sides angry at you then you are a success? Seems plenty of them get plenty proud of themselves when they see this happen.

  99. 99.

    Two quarts low

    Never took a journamalism class, so somebody tell me, are they all taught that if you get both sides angry at you then you are a success? Seems plenty of them get plenty proud of themselves when they see this happen.

  100. 100.

    Lidia

    What’s wrong with chick? She has no idea what a “pun” is, and continues to flail us with that ignorance. Good thing for her there is no way to respond to this fecal matter. Which is an insult to fecal matter, an actually valuable substance.

  101. 101.

    asiangrrlMN

    @RalfW: As a MN resident, I concur with you. It’s the way to say, “No, I do not like this, but I cannot say it without being polite.”

    @Comrade Javamanphil: Well, I think you have an excellent point!

    As for Ms. Petri, Doug J., I bow down to you. You are a master at trollery.

  102. 102.

    fuckwit

    Sarcasm is lost on the egotistical.

    This is how Stephen Colbert and Archie Bunker– among others– have been able to completely sail over the heads of wingnuts.

    It’s totally predictable. The more egotistical and self-centered, the less self-aware, the more utterly immune they are to sarcasm or satire.

  103. 103.

    newhavenguy

    Thanks you bastards, I think I broke a rib or two. Gullible? Wrong frame— I think Upton Sinclair describes the WaPo better:

    “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!”

    Shame, used to be a good paper. Ditto the Old Grey Lady, though the Times remains half a degree better than Kaplan Daily.

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