I really enjoyed Prometheus. It was wonderfully pretty and it scared the crap out of me a few times.
I didn’t notice any massive plot holes at the time. Thinking back, it probably didn’t help that the day before I had found a bottle of little pink pills from 1974 down the back of my couch and had snaffled the lot with a vodka chaser. I was also distracted because I went with Marge Albrechtson, and every time Charlize Theron appeared on screen Marge would peg a squirrel at her.
However, this review by Henry Rothwell entitled “Prometheus: an archaeological perspective (sort of).” (via the lovely Mr Doctorow at Boing Boing) very ably and charmingly points out several problems that I missed.
Due warning, however – it is pretty much spoilers all the way.
Fassbender cycles around the spaceship, throwing basketballs into hoops and watching documentaries. You get a feel for the size of the spaceship, and his lonely existence within it. For a crew of less than ten people, the financiers and engineers behind the expedition have sensibly decided that creating a space-ship the size of a cathedral would be a good idea. Presumably neglecting to install an off switch for a robot was just one of those costs they had to cut to make the whole thing possible. To pass the time he likes watching old films and learning languages. We like him. That’s even before all the humans wake up and prove to be barking mad or arseholes. Or barking mad arseholes.
But wait – the balls on the pool table (yes, the pool table – what about it?) are all sliding over to one side by themselves – the destination threshold has been reached and the spaceship has, believe it not, put the brakes on at the last minute. Fassbender goes to the bridge, and fires up the computers to see what’s going on. Colourful displays shimmer into being – motion sensitive read-outs unfold and hover in front of him, their only goal in life is to provide him with information, and look great. Fassbender smiles, perhaps marveling at the possibility that one day in the not so distant future, all this marvellous technology could be replaced by clattery keyboards, blinking LEDs and monochrome cathode ray tubes – almost like something out of a 70s horror movie. . .