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“Squeaker” McCarthy

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

I really should read my own blog.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Let there be snark.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Everybody saw this coming.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Mitt has a running mate, but can’t tell you who until Oct. 15th

Mitt has a running mate, but can’t tell you who until Oct. 15th

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<a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7710839866/” title=”Romney Pawlenty by dengre.bj, on Flickr”><img src=”http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7275/7710839866_130fbebb39.jpg” width=”500″ height=”375″ alt=”Romney Pawlenty”></a>

Mitt has decided to postpone any information that might inform voters about his past, his judgement and what he might do as President. He is especially fearful that releasing any details about his record or policies would inspire Democrats, the Obama Campaign and the media to criticize him and ask even more questions.

This is why he will not release his taxes. So far he has only released part of his 2010 Income Tax forms and he will not release any details about his 2011 Income Taxes until after October 15th.

Mitt sees this policy of secrecy and delay as a winning strategy. This is why he has decided to apply the same tactic to his selection of a running mate. The Romney Campaign announce today that the choice has been made, but will remain a secret until after October 15th.

Reaction from the Obama Campaign and Democrats was swift and mocking. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid claimed that he was told by a credible source that the guy under the bag was just Tim Pawlenty. The Romney Campaign is pushing back hard on Democratic speculation concerning the identity of his running mate. In a press call earlier today, they condemned comments  from Senator Reid as union-thug politics and demanded that Reid “put up or shut up” when it comes to Romney’s number two.

Romney was quoted as saying:

“”I’ve already learned from Harry Reid’s action and others that the people on the other side of the aisle will try to go through anything we give them to distort it to turn it, to turn it into something they don’t say and to try and make political fodder out of it.”

To help hide his identity, The Unknown GOP VP Candidate, will use a voice distortion device to give his Tampa Convention speech and to campaign in the fall.

Jennifer Rubin (a blogger for the Washington Post) called the selection another Romney triumph and a stroke of brilliance. The Unknown GOP VP Candidate has been embraced by Tea Party members and other rank and file conservatives. With the urging of Rush Limbaugh they have taken to wearing bags over their heads as a sign of support and the Romney Campaign is selling sacks with eye holes to raise funds for the campaign.

Cheers

 

[hat tip to Booman for the inspiration]

 

Reader Interactions

109Comments

  1. 1.

    maya

    I like the idea of Repubs and Teabaggers with bags over their heads. They look better that way.

  4. 4.

    Bob

    I thought it was real (with the guy in the bag photoshopped, you can’t fool me that easy…). But it’s not real … right?

  6. 6.

    danah gaz (fka gaz)

    Dana Bash (i love her name) says she’s got a source that can corroborate Reid’s charge about Willard’s taxes.

    over/under bet?

    The source(s) will be revealed some time around Oct. 15th

    =)

  10. 10.

    WaterGirl

    What’s really sad is that it could be true, even though it isn’t. Romney = LOSER.

  11. 11.

    danah gaz (fka gaz)

    I clicked the link, and the article at the other end doesn’t seem funny – and it’s from the Associated Press. So I think that the quoted part above is real – Romney’s remaining mum on his VP pick because he’s a WATB and he’s afraid of Harry Reid.

  16. 16.

    Libby Spencer

    Sad commentary on the state of our politics that I wasn’t sure this is satire. And a brilliant one, I might add.

  17. 17.

    Chyron HR

    Problem: People are using your secrecy as an excuse to speculate about what you’re hiding.

    Solution: MORE SECRECY.

  18. 18.

    General Stuck

    Jennifer Rubin (a blogger for the Washington Post) called the selection another Romney triumph and a stroke of brilliance

    Rubin is starting to worry me with the Romney love, that seems white hot and full of XX starbursts. A Jewish American neo con and a people pleasing Mormon that could become president. What could go wrong with that political consummation ?

  22. 22.

    NR

    @Teddy’s Person:

    If this clown wins, it will truly be end times.

    It’s okay. Nobody can do anything without 60 votes in the Senate. Or so I was repeatedly told in 2009 and 2010.

  25. 25.

    General Stuck

    The paper sack, you got to admit, is somewhat eco friendly in a paper or plastic kind of way.

  28. 28.

    mclaren

    Ski masks would be better.

    So who’ll it be? The reincarnation of Ed Gein? The Colorado batman shooter? Charles Manson on work-release?

  29. 29.

    WaterGirl

    Do you think anybody on the Romney team realizes they have lost control of their message?

    They have a message alright, that sticks to an ongoing theme, even. It’s just not the one they were aiming for.

    Or maybe even Romney’s team knows it would be better for the country (and the world) if Romney isn’t the leader of the free world.

    I was pretty sure that the technical folks who kept putting McCain in front of those awful green screens were playing for our team.

  30. 30.

    muddy

    I have a secret, but I won’t tell you (imagine this in childish taunting sing-song).

    The way to keep a secret, Mittens, is not to put a bag over it, but just not to talk about it at all. Dumbass.

  31. 31.

    mai naem

    I was listening to the Stephanie Miller show yesterday and she had John Fugelsang on. Anyway, Fugelsang was in LA at the office of his agent where he ran across some big Republican supporter who supposedly was in the know and he told Fugelsang that Romney’s pick is a total surprise – somebody nobody’s expecting – Rudy Giuliani. The thinking supposedly is that even thought Giuliani is a social liberal, he has the same attack dog persona as Chris Christie so the teabaggers will accept him based on that. I know there’s a lot of the friend of a friend of a friend of a friend said blah blah but whatever.

  32. 32.

    Cain

    I can see some awesome political attack ads for this that would give republicans an apoplexy.

  33. 33.

    TaMara (BHF)

    @Dennis G.: This was great. The scary part of course I had to read it twice to realize it wasn’t true. And I await with you, the day reality laps your snark. Anyone who votes for this idiot deserves to be mocked.

  35. 35.

    imonlylurking

    I totally thought this was legit until I was more than halfway through it. OMG.

  36. 36.

    The Dangerman

    Gene, Gene, The Dancing Machine is the VP candidate?

    Did I just date myself?

    /gong

    ETA: Shakes fist at phantomist above

  37. 37.

    Ash Can

    Add me to the folks who weren’t sure if this was snark or straight news. I went to a couple of news sites to check the headlines just to be sure. After Willard’s Excellent Foreign Adventure, I’ll believe anything.

  38. 38.

    Baud

    Count me among the people who did not immediately realize this was satire. Good job taking advantage of the awfulness of Romney as a candidate.

  42. 42.

    hells littlest angel

    @mai naem: I’m expecting Romney’s VP pick to be jaw-droppingly idiotic. My money’s on Michael Steele, but Giuliani certainly fits the bill too.

  43. 43.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    Dennis G. @ Top:

    The Unknown GOP VP Candidate has been embraced by Tea Party members and other rank and file conservatives. With the urging of Rush Limbaugh they have taken to wearing bags over their heads as a sign of support …

    … while others within the party have complained that the bags suggest a brown complexion and have taken to wearing white sheets instead.

    .

  46. 46.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    @mai naem: Giulani? Never happen. They know he’d leech off too much of the spotlight from The Mitt.

    And add another data point. I wasn’t sure it was satire until the hattip for the inspiration.

  47. 47.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @mai naem:

    This is stupid enough to be real.

    Just imagine Joe Biden shooting fish in a barrel.

    That’s what the VP debate would be like with former mayor noun/verb/911.

  49. 49.

    The Dangerman

    OT, for the love of everything decent, would someone PLEASE get that 10K runer a Big Mac with some supersized fries STAT!

  52. 52.

    Thomas DeVito

    Oh my. I believed that this was true for far too long. Should I feel silly, or is this just a reflection of how unbelievably gimmicky and weird the GOP has become?

  53. 53.

    Jamey

    Pleaseopleaseoplease let Mitt make “transparency” a buzzword at the GOP convention.

  56. 56.

    Maxwel

    Kudos to Mo and Galen! I’ve never seen a race with a more perfect ending, at least from my view point.

  57. 57.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @mai naem:

    So Romney is looking for a VP candidate who’s even less popular than he is?

    Somehow that would not surprise me. Mitt is not someone who shares the spotlight.

  59. 59.

    JPL

    Pro-Choice divorced Rudy whose children sometimes avoid him and Ms. Judy with a tiara. What a brilliant selection. The first ad will be of his praising the current President for sending Osama to the deep blue sea.

  60. 60.

    scav

    Karl Rove appeared later on stage and reassured the GOP faithful that all the math assured him that this Election was “In the Bag”.

  64. 64.

    muddy

    OT but I am watching the men’s volleyball, and I want to know why women can’t compete in baggy shorts and tanks, or why the men are not kitted out in speedos. Either would be fair, but personally the men in speedos version would suit me better.

  67. 67.

    Spatula

    Anyone else notice that the MittBott 2012’s eyes are often watery/moist as in this pic?

    Drugs? Allergies?

    Overflow of visual/mechanical fluid/lubricant?

  68. 68.

    MikeJ

    @muddy: I think all competitors should go the full Athenian.

    Meanwhile, GBR loses on penalty kicks. Every No England fan surprised.

  70. 70.

    Tonal Crow

    Mitt’s co-pile-it will be The Trump. He’s losing the teabaggers, and hiring Trump is the fastest way to get them back onto the ranch.

    —
    Romney: Like Sarah Palin, but with fewer scruples.

  74. 74.

    The Dangerman

    @muddy:

    …or why the men are not kitted out in speedos

    Are guys wearing cups? Getting a facial on a hard spike is no joy; taking one “there” wouldn’t be pleasant.

  77. 77.

    pat

    Jeez, this actually had me believing it for a while, thinking that it was designed to get even more suckers to get the app in order to BE THE FIRST TO KNOW.

    Glad I wasn’t the only one.

  78. 78.

    muddy

    @The Dangerman: I can’t tell if they are wearing cups, their shorts are too baggy. If they need a cup they could put it in the speedo. The specially designed speedo.

  80. 80.

    pat

    OT, I love the Olympic uniforms. Bath robes for the judo, bikinis for the beach vollyball, ear warmers for the horses.

  81. 81.

    Tony J

    @Randiego:

    Highlight the part of your comment you want to put the link in.

    Press the Link button.

    In the little box that pops up in the top left corner delete the http already there and paste in the full address of the piece you want to link to.

    Press ‘done’ – or whatever it’s called, and don’t panic that your post looks weird, it’ll look fine once you’ve posted it.

  82. 82.

    Older_Wiser

    Even the comments convince me more than ever than Rmoney is nothing but a Big Joke.

    And he’s not even funny.

  83. 83.

    j

    @mclaren: @28 John Fugelsang said he heard “from someone in the know” that Mitt will pick someone nobody has talked about. It will be a total surprise to everyone. He then went on to say, Rudy Giulliani!

    Cue the Bernie Kerrick oppo research.

  89. 89.

    Stuck In 60s

    I think I had sex with that guy !

    Admittedly, the paper bag makes it difficult to be sure. But it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    Of course, he could always prove me wrong by showing that he doesn’t have a very special tatoo on his privates…

  99. 99.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    I had to laugh twice when I realized that this wasn’t real. Once for the great joke and again for the fact that the Republicans are so ‘out there’ that this could even seem feasible.

    Kudos for the fine balance of bullshit and surreality you have woven here Dengre. :)

  101. 101.

    AnotherBruce

    Gaah, as a west coaster, seems I’m late again. Sheesh, I only had to read 5 more comments down.

  108. 108.

    Ash Can

    @The Dangerman: “Gene, Gene, had a machine; Joe, Joe. made it go; Frank, Frank, turned the crank; Art, Art…” OK, some things even I am not immature enough for.

    (Edited for formatting because WP sucks the farts out of dead pigeons.)

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