• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Bark louder, little dog.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

T R E 4 5 O N

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / I Love The Smell of Panic in the Morning

I Love The Smell of Panic in the Morning

by $8 blue check mistermix|  August 11, 20127:50 am| 128 Comments

This post is in: Teabagger Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

I woke up this morning to the reek of piss-pants desperation emanating from my Twitter in the form of Mitt Romney’s VP Pick, Paul Davis Ryan (and yes, it is happening, because those morons can’t keep a secret). Man, this tells us a lot about just how worried, weak, meandering, insular and politically inept the Romney campaign is.

You don’t pick a base darling like Ryan unless you think you need to shore up the base, so the first thing this pick tells us that Mitt’s campaign is at least a little scared of stuff like this hundred page teabagger manifesto called “DUMP ROMinee – Why Tampa’s Republican Delegates must Dump Romney to Defeat Obama”, and the math demanded that they throw out red meat to the Tea Party.

Ryan is a indication of just how unfocused and off-message Romney’s campaign has become. The core Romney pitch was supposed to be that he’s the successful CEO who’s going to run the country the way he ran Bain and the Olympics, and that he showed us what he can do as CEO of Massachusetts. After the Obama campaign and the press got through demolishing those fables, everything about them is tarnished and off-limits. So instead of putting some interesting non-politician captain of industry on the ticket, we’ve get someone who thinks he’s John Galt but who has actually spent his entire adult life in Washington DC either working for politicians or being one.

Ryan is a celebrity in a town that’s Hollywood for ugly people, so the notion that his pick is exciting or edgy is only true if your world view is constrained by the boundaries of the federal district. I’ll bet a majority of the voters that Romney needs to convince couldn’t pick Ryan out of a lineup, and when they are first introduced to him, they’ll see what he really is: just another white, male career politician. At least the Palin pick was somewhat interesting, since she came from Alaska, which is kind of exotic, and she was only the second female VP candidate in history. Only a campaign that reads too much Politico would think there’s something new or sexy about a 42 year-old guy who’s really into the budget.

Finally, since I live next door to NY-26 and saw how Kathy Hochul won a R+6 district by painting horns and a tail on Paul Ryan, it’s clear the numbnuts running Romney’s campaign have no earthly clue about the shitstorm they just triggered. If the Romney campaign had opened up their research filing cabinet and pulled out the “No Shit, Sherlock” folder, they’d have realized that people would rather have Medicare than some free market voucher fantasy cooked up at the last Heritage / Cato invitational circle jerk.

This pick might actually have reverse coattails. Before Ryan, it was actually a bit hard to pin down Romney’s position on fucking everyone out of Medicare, and most Congressional candidates could say they were for some kinder gentler variant of Ryan’s plan to put Granny on an Alpo diet. Now every Democratic press secretary in a House campaign is busy with the wayback machine so they can cobb just the good stuff out of Hochul’s press releases.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Vulture / Voucher 2012*
Next Post: Village Viagra »

Reader Interactions

128Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    August 11, 2012 at 7:56 am

    Ezra has a pretty good run down of what this all means.

  2. 2.

    lamh35

    August 11, 2012 at 7:57 am

    the reason conserv luv Ryan is for his budget, so even if Ryan or mittens want to try to nuance & tweak it, RWNJ ain’t having it. so Mittens is gonna have to embrace the steaming pile of shit budget as is. wow.

  3. 3.

    13th Generation

    August 11, 2012 at 7:59 am

    Well,, he sure shored up the vote from all the youngish glibertarians that I keep running into these days, but they were always going to vote for Rmoney anyway. The whole campaign has just become pathetic.

  4. 4.

    Kane

    August 11, 2012 at 7:59 am

    Ryan voted for the Iraq war, TARP, Medicare Part D, No Child Left Behind, the Bush economic-stimulus, the Obama economic-stimulus and the auto bailout. He has been a part of the Republican establishment in Washington since the mid-90s, but he is considered a rising star in the GOP? Ryan is as much of a RINO as Romney.

  5. 5.

    dmsilev

    August 11, 2012 at 8:02 am

    And, if nothing else, what the Hell is the point of making an announcement like this at the crack of dawn on a Saturday while the Olympics are stilling running? Is this the Veep equivalent of a Friday news dump?

  6. 6.

    Comrade Jake

    August 11, 2012 at 8:02 am

    I just love that this is the second Bill Kristol pick. What could go wrong?

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    August 11, 2012 at 8:03 am

    @Comrade Jake: Four years from now, whoever the GOP nominee is will listen to Kristol and think “Third time lucky!”.

  8. 8.

    13th Generation

    August 11, 2012 at 8:04 am

    @dmsilev:

    That was my thought as well it’s almost as if he’s tepidly putting him out there saying “is everybody cool with this guy?”

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 11, 2012 at 8:04 am

    Ari Shapiro on NPR just told me that Rmoney hopes the Ryan pick will “change the tone of the campaign” after a week of negative advertising “on both sides.”

    Is it dangerous to my health to be laughing this hard this early in the morning?

  10. 10.

    geg6

    August 11, 2012 at 8:05 am

    Chris Hayes on Up has a Romney advisor on. Should be interesting.

  11. 11.

    lamh35

    August 11, 2012 at 8:07 am

    @geg6: if Maddow was gonna interview him, I’d watch. Chris Hayes IMHO can sometimes be too lenient with his GOP guest

  12. 12.

    Alex S.

    August 11, 2012 at 8:09 am

    Obama sure is a lucky guy. The timing of these very favorable national polls couldn’t have been better. Romney is in panic mode, especially after Andrea Saul praised Romneycare (What’s Ryan’s position on that?). Romney wants to talk about issues – now we can do this. And it will be a delight.
    I don’t know if Romney really felt forced to shake up the campaign with such a risky pick, or if he is really so insulated that he actually believes in his elite 1%-agenda. In some ways, it is very brave that he doubles down on his biography and his elitism. However, the republicans used to hide their true agenda behind “compassionate conservatism”, “freedom”, “right-to-work” and other euphemisms and lies, now it’s breaking through the surface.

  13. 13.

    Baud

    August 11, 2012 at 8:10 am

    @lamh35:

    That’s my impression also.

  14. 14.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 11, 2012 at 8:10 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    HAHAHAHAHA, and Linda Wertheimer says the campaign is touting Romney-Ryan as … Ah, I can’t type, I’m laughing too hard … ::gasp:: … touting them as …

    (wait for it) …

    AMERICA’S COMEBACK TEAM!!

    Ha, ha and ha!

  15. 15.

    iriedc

    August 11, 2012 at 8:11 am

    Thanks for saying that Ryan is considered hot in the “federal district.” Ryan couldn’t buy a clap much less a vote from us DC citizens. Look for Obama to take the state +90% again.

  16. 16.

    Todd

    August 11, 2012 at 8:12 am

    I’m excited. Erik Ericksdottir says that this improves Romney’s campaign and improves Congress because Ryan is flawed. If that isn’t a ringing endorsement of both, I’d be shocked…

  17. 17.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Un fucking real. In a good way. A true believer and world renown third rail humper. I love when we get an ideological cage match. Clarity is good, imo.

  18. 18.

    lamh35

    August 11, 2012 at 8:14 am

    ok, so the combined FP experience between the 2 is zilch.  So an “unscheduled” event means what for the Ryan/RMoney ticket. The RMoney camp is laying it all on the economic lines & ain’t gonna fight on any other turf.  can’t wait to see Bidn & Ryan discuss FP

  19. 19.

    Betty Cracker

    August 11, 2012 at 8:14 am

    As God as my witness, someone at NRO actually typed this in a live blog of the Ryan announcement event:

    At 7:54 a.m., the loudspeakers begin to crackle, and Bob Seger’s “Hollywood Nights” starts to play. For the first song at the first Romney-Ryan rally, it’s an apt choice. “He was a Midwestern boy on his own,” Seger sings, with “those soft eyes so innocent and blue.” Steps away, a couple mothers sway to the tune.

  20. 20.

    kansi

    August 11, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Over at the American Spectator, they are saying that Ryan “strikes fear in the heart of Obama” and may force Obama to replace Joe Biden with Hillary, because the Granny Starver will wipe the floor with Biden in their debate.
    Are they always this delusional?

  21. 21.

    Alex S.

    August 11, 2012 at 8:15 am

    By the way, the Biden vs. Ryan debate… Biden is exactly the right spokesperson to convey the ideas of the Ryan budget to older voters. That, and foreign policy experience…
    I guess the announcement was made today to change the narrative, beginning with tomorrow’s morning shows.

  22. 22.

    RAM

    August 11, 2012 at 8:17 am

    And this gets Ryan out of Congress. Good news all the way around.

  23. 23.

    PurpleGirl

    August 11, 2012 at 8:17 am

    @Todd: I lurv your Erick Erickdottir construction.

  24. 24.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2012 at 8:18 am

    @kansi:

    Are they always this delusional?

    Short answer, yes

    But Reality will bite when granny gets wind of this bullshit, and Romney/Ryan will reap there wrath.

  25. 25.

    kez

    August 11, 2012 at 8:18 am

    Hah! Best morning ever.
    I don’t know how Mitt is going to defend the Ryan budget at all. I predict a lot of deflection and complaints about “demagoguery”.

  26. 26.

    Comrade Jake

    August 11, 2012 at 8:18 am

    I think all you really need to know is that had you asked the Obama team who they’d like to see Romney pick for his VP, they would have said Ryan. After Sarah Palin, of course.

  27. 27.

    Baud

    August 11, 2012 at 8:18 am

    @Betty Cracker:

    He saw that face and he lost all control.
    He had lost all control.

  28. 28.

    MattF

    August 11, 2012 at 8:19 am

    We now have an answer to the question “How does Mitt Romney respond to a crisis?” Answer: “Badly.”

  29. 29.

    rikyrah

    August 11, 2012 at 8:19 am

    Willard is a pussy.

    a straight up bitchass.

    a fucking coward, who has never been his ‘own man’ and folds like a cheap suit.

    he chose the Zombie-Eyed Granny Killer cause the right-wing told him too.

    and couldn’t even tell Timmy Paw and Portman himself.

    what a punk ass bitch.

  30. 30.

    4tehlulz

    August 11, 2012 at 8:20 am

    So it’s going to be all Ayn Rand and Jeremiah Wright from the GOP from now on.

    Election Night is going to be very satisfying. I’d better make sure I have a very nice scotch for the occasion.

  31. 31.

    Dennis SGMM

    August 11, 2012 at 8:21 am

    What a relief for Mitt. Now he can stop pretending that he thinks about all of those tedious presidentin’ details and concentrate on important things like teeth-whitening, waxing, and Grecian Formula for Men.

  32. 32.

    TerryC

    August 11, 2012 at 8:21 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: America’sGo Back! Team :)

  33. 33.

    Some Guy

    August 11, 2012 at 8:21 am

    And howdy. Much to say and do.

    The biggest challenge will be to get MSM to cover the actual details and now just run “profile in courage” segments on Ryan.

    And there weill be warning after warning about how Obama is now REALLY in trouble because of the body boldness of Ryan. Yes, radicals are bold, they certainly are.

    But at this stage I think the Dems have a pretty good script to run on Ryan, which was first test driven when Bush wanted to privatize Social Security. Repubs just cannot seem to fathom that America wants it’s safety net.

    At least now the election is based in clear priorities. Obama is best when putting a different set of values on the table. yna gives him the perfect foil to talk about which kind of America people want. Hint: it ain’t Ayn Rand’s.

  34. 34.

    rikyrah

    August 11, 2012 at 8:22 am

    @kansi:

    er at the American Spectator, they are saying that Ryan “strikes fear in the heart of Obama” and may force Obama to replace Joe Biden with Hillary, because the Granny Starver will wipe the floor with Biden in their debate.Are they always this delusional?

    one of the best moments ever was when POTUS bitchslapped Goober Ryan TO HIS FACE….remember that?

  35. 35.

    The Original Raven

    August 11, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Corvids rooting for Romney. Blow up the national debt, start a war in Iran, cut Social Security, privatize Medicare. Food!

    I hope you’re right the Ryan is poison nationally. NY-26 is one thing, but, say, CO-5, including Colorado Springs, is another matter all together.

  36. 36.

    MattF

    August 11, 2012 at 8:23 am

    @rikyrah: Well, just between you and me, if Obama did replace Biden with Clinton, the election would be over, then and there.

  37. 37.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    August 11, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Erick, son of Erick, has a graphic up at Redstate that says it all…lol! Romney is in a small font and Ryan is in an extremely large font.

    Erick has a happy now that Eddie Munster is Rmoney’s pick!

  38. 38.

    Comrade Jake

    August 11, 2012 at 8:24 am

    Anyone who thinks one side can mop the floor of the other in the debates just hasn’t paid attention to the debates of the last few years. They have become such non events, with each side offered equal time to provide their own talking points/ spin. There’s almost no follow up.

    I am sure Biden will do his due diligence and prepare for the debate with Ryan. But Biden is no slouch himself. The guy is a fairly skilled pol.

  39. 39.

    kansi

    August 11, 2012 at 8:24 am

    @rikyrah:
    I do remember, and I suspect Paul Ryan does, as well.

  40. 40.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 8:24 am

    Well, congrats. They did find someone slightly less good-looking, slightly more consistent, and even more boring!

    This is RomnneyCalculus at its best: sounds okay until it doesn’t add up!

  41. 41.

    lamh35

    August 11, 2012 at 8:25 am

    the Obama camp have been trying to link Romney to Ryan since Romney sided with Ryan’s budget. to quote Jo B they “literally” wrote the ticket that the O camp have been trying to do fom jump street!

  42. 42.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 8:26 am

    @Alex S.: However, the republicans used to hide their true agenda behind “compassionate conservatism”, “freedom”, “right-to-work” and other euphemisms and lies, now it’s breaking through the surface.

    Thanks to Teabagger extremism. Yes, you idiots, let your hate flag fly!

  43. 43.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Special Ed, sums up the right wing graveyard whistle

    If indeed it’s Ryan, even the media may have to start focusing on the most serious issues — and that’s bad news for Obama.

    Absolutely, privatizing SS and medicare is THE ‘most serious issue’. On Alpha Centauri, AKA Planet wingnut.

  44. 44.

    Valdivia

    August 11, 2012 at 8:27 am

    I still can’t believe it. And his plea yesterday to have a conversation about the issues can be seen in a new light: from now til November it will Ryan Plan galore. Just wow.

  45. 45.

    Judge Crater

    August 11, 2012 at 8:28 am

    This is Romney’s “Sarah Palin Moment” – Mister M is right. Desperation with a capital D.

    Chuck Todd is on MSNBC blabbering about a Romney campaign “relaunch”. Relaunch my ass. It’s a Hail Mary and it’s only the third quarter.

  46. 46.

    Triassic Sands

    August 11, 2012 at 8:28 am

    …Hollywood for ugly people

    I think of Washington as the academy for arrogant morons.

    Romney and Ryan can pose as the Medicare “moderates.” On the communist left are the Democrats; on the right are Rand Paul, Lindsey Graham, Mike Lee, and Jim DeMint, whose plan (in 2014) would drop all seniors from Medicare and enroll them in the Federal Employees Health Benefits Plan (FEHBP), i.e., instant privatization, without even bribing those 55 and over with a promise to let them keep traditional Medicare. (I can’t even begin to imagine what moving tens of millions of the oldest and sickest Americans into the FEHBP would do to premiums in that system.) [Note: I have no doubt that Kessler and other fact checkers (laughter) would object to anyone calling the Paul-Graham-Lee-DeMint plan “ending Medicare” — since we all know that Medicare is ANY program, regardless of its design and benefits, that Republicans decide to call “Medicare.”]

  47. 47.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 11, 2012 at 8:29 am

    @TerryC:

    Wish I had thought of that. Love it!

  48. 48.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 8:30 am

    @4tehlulz: Election Night is going to be very satisfying. I’d better make sure I have a very nice scotch for the occasion.

    Last time I went with Irish whiskey… and my friends who came over for Election Night are still talking about it. Not the libation; me ON the libation. I became quite festive.

    Of course, it means they are eager to come over for Round Two!

  49. 49.

    Waynski

    August 11, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Did Bain invest in Michael Vick’s dog pound? What the fuck is in those tax returns? Two weeks out? Ryan? Wow.

  50. 50.

    geg6

    August 11, 2012 at 8:32 am

    @lamh35:

    And funny enough, Maddow shows up on set.

  51. 51.

    Rosalita

    August 11, 2012 at 8:32 am

    hurry up and go read Charlie Pierce

  52. 52.

    Violet

    August 11, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Can we get this nickname any traction?:

    My goodness. They’re seeing starbursts. Is Ryan the male Palin? The Malin?

    I love the smell of desperation in the morning.

  53. 53.

    amk

    August 11, 2012 at 8:37 am

    After the Obama campaign and the press got through demolishing those fables,

    what fucking press ?

  54. 54.

    Violet

    August 11, 2012 at 8:37 am

    @dmsilev:

    And, if nothing else, what the Hell is the point of making an announcement like this at the crack of dawn on a Saturday while the Olympics are stilling running? Is this the Veep equivalent of a Friday news dump?

    I wondered the same thing. And why not even announce that you’re going to announce the VP until very late at night on the night before? The whole thing reeks of desperation and poor planning. It’s awful.

  55. 55.

    Dennis SGMM

    August 11, 2012 at 8:39 am

    @Rosalita:
    Nice! Thanks for the link.

  56. 56.

    cat48

    August 11, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Our president is laughing somewhere. His plan was to define Rombot in the summer months which has worked well. The 2nd stage, tie Rombot to Ryan Budget was his work for the Fall. DONE!

    Sweet…Donate a few bucks to the prez because Koch Bros & Friends are big fans of Ryan Budget!

  57. 57.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Dunning/Kruger 2012!

  58. 58.

    danielx

    August 11, 2012 at 8:44 am

    Every so often I get the idea that God loves me, and this is one of those times. Can’t wait for Biden to start reading portions of the “Ryan Plan” during the debate(s) and then asking “Congressman, are those your words and numbers?”

    Better yet, start reading some of Ayn Rand’s more absurd lines and asking whether Ryan agrees or disagrees, since he evidently has an Ayn Rand icon to which he genuflects at least once a day. Since Rand held Christians in contempt, that ought do wonders with the god-botherer set.

  59. 59.

    Mister Papercut

    August 11, 2012 at 8:45 am

    @Betty Cracker: Ye gods.

    Can we be 100% certain that the Romney campaign isn’t actually Christopher Guest’s latest mockumentary?

  60. 60.

    Violet

    August 11, 2012 at 8:47 am

    @Mister Papercut: Ha! I knew this comedy seemed familiar.

  61. 61.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 8:50 am

    @danielx: Actually, the Pope frowned on Ayn and Ryan has already thrown her under a bus.

    Do the Evangelicals know how Catholic Ryan is?

  62. 62.

    Linda Featheringill

    August 11, 2012 at 8:50 am

    I got up this morning and tuned in to BJ and just couldn’t believe what I was reading. It was too good to be true and must be verified.

    But every site I went to said the same thing. Hooray!

    Do you remember the old story about a guy marooned in a flood and praying for deliverance? Several offers of rescue came to him [boat, helicopter, etc.] but he refused them all because God was going to save him. He died. And at the Pearly Gates he asked got why He didn’t save him. God said He tried to, He sent boats, planes, etc. and the guy refused all help.

    Ryan is our lifeboat. We gotta grab this. We have to educate EVERYBODY about the specifics of Ryan budget. We must demonstrate that just about every Republican politician in the country has signed on to the Ryan budget. And we have to attack them all for their guilt.

    [singsong and happy dance]

  63. 63.

    geg6

    August 11, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Is the GOS borked? I was hoping to read some Hunter or the man himself on this one. Any firebaggers still feeling unenthusiastic today? I, personally, am more fired up and ready to go than ever. But then, I always felt that way.

  64. 64.

    Linda Featheringill

    August 11, 2012 at 8:55 am

    @Betty Cracker: #19

    Hollywood nights:

    Have they listened to the lyrics of that song?

  65. 65.

    shortstop

    August 11, 2012 at 8:57 am

    Laughed all the way through this hilariously written post. Good job.

  66. 66.

    PeakVT

    August 11, 2012 at 8:57 am

    @Baud: And how does Romney say the problem with Barack Obama is that he’s “never spent a day in the private sector” and then put Ryan a heartbeat away from the presidency?

    By being a lying shit.

  67. 67.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 8:58 am

    @Linda Featheringill: Have they listened to the lyrics of that song?

    Self-awareness and Republicans are the matter/anti-matter of our present civilization.

  68. 68.

    dmsilev

    August 11, 2012 at 8:59 am

    @Mister Papercut: I’m expecting to see Mitt Romney pull his mask off and reveal that he’s actually either Andy Kaufman or Sacha Baron Cohen.

  69. 69.

    dmsilev

    August 11, 2012 at 9:00 am

    @geg6: GOS was down for some reason or another, but they seem to be back up now.

  70. 70.

    jurassicpork

    August 11, 2012 at 9:00 am

    Paul Ryan, a game-changer? Uh uh.

  71. 71.

    Walker

    August 11, 2012 at 9:01 am

    @jurassicpork:

    Well, in the sense that you are throwing the game.

  72. 72.

    GregB

    August 11, 2012 at 9:03 am

    jurassicpork Says:

    Paul Ryan, a gamelame-change? Uh uh.

  73. 73.

    Svensker

    August 11, 2012 at 9:03 am

    @rikyrah:

    You know, I object to calling people “girl names” to vilify them. Bitch, bitchass, pussy. Someone upthread called Eric Son of Eric “Eriksdottir”.

    I don’t mind calling someone a “bitch” if they are acting bitchy. But calling someone a bitch because being feminine is bad gets up under my nerves.

  74. 74.

    Svensker

    August 11, 2012 at 9:03 am

    OK, comment 74 in moderation for bad word use.

  75. 75.

    Valdivia

    August 11, 2012 at 9:04 am

    the media is going to be swooning for a couple of weeks. and as usual they will not get why this is not the brilliant move they think it is.

    what is the best twitter feed to follow the event at? any recs?

  76. 76.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 11, 2012 at 9:04 am

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Have they listened to the lyrics of secured the performance rights to that song?

    Fixed, because they’re Republicans.

  77. 77.

    Chris

    August 11, 2012 at 9:06 am

    @13th Generation:

    Well,, he sure shored up the vote from all the youngish glibertarians that I keep running into these days, but they were always going to vote for Rmoney anyway.

    It’s been an article of faith in American politics for decades that Angry White Conservatives are the only demographic that matters (something about being the only Real Americans). This’ll be the second election cycle where the Republican establishment will have spent the general election looking inward and trying to please their own rather than trying to appeal to people outside of their demographic.

  78. 78.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 11, 2012 at 9:06 am

    That popping sound you heard a few minutes back on the East Coast was the White House partying like it’s 1999. Champagne is flowing like water there.

    Rmoney is as stupid as we thought.

    Ryan is going to be beaten up like a red-headed step child by Joe Biden. It is going to be orgasmic to watch the vile little twit squirm in the debates.

  79. 79.

    bjacques

    August 11, 2012 at 9:07 am

    So, when do we get to see Ryan’s tax returns?

    Did Romney or Ryan’s people actually *listen* to “Hollywood Nights” before playing it at their first ever rally together?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPPExso1x28

    I’m selling brain bleach, $50 a bottle. Buy now before the price goes up.

  80. 80.

    cathyx

    August 11, 2012 at 9:07 am

    @Betty Cracker: I believe Bob Seger will not be happy with them using his song.

  81. 81.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 9:09 am

    @cathyx: What, Ted Nugent didn’t have the right song for the moment?

  82. 82.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2012 at 9:10 am

    It is panic, and surprising to me that a vain asshole like Romney would go for THE rising star and right wing great white hope of the future. Psychologically, Ryan will become the wingnuts first seat POTUS pick, and Romney will seem like a wallflower, treated like the RINO he is viewed by conservatives.

    Since most sane voters don’t vote for the VP guy, especially swing voters, it looks like Mitt has in effect, abrogated his nomination, before he officially receives it. I don’t think Romney is a stupid man, just a vacuous one, with a lot of empty space filled with pure ego and ambition. So he, and his campaign orbs must be seeing defeat written on the election wall, to go for such a love bug of the wingnuts. With the bright light of right wing affection surely to shine on Ryan, and not Romney.

  83. 83.

    cathyx

    August 11, 2012 at 9:10 am

    @WereBear: Seeing as Hollywood Nights is about a girl he has sex with, this one isn’t exactly appropriate either.

  84. 84.

    Kirbster

    August 11, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Man, anyone under 55 who isn’t a millionaire (not necessarily income-wise, but liquid asset-wise) would be nuts to vote for that ticket if it means embracing Ryan’s budget plan, coupled with the repeal of the ACA.

    Let’s say you’re 50 years old now and a minimal individual health care insurance plan (high-deductible HMO) costs $500/mo. Let’s assume a modest 10% hike in the premiums every year. By the time you’re just 65 and eligible for a Ryancare voucher, you’ll be paying more than $2000/mo. A generous 50%-off thereafter is still a shitty deal compared to traditional Medicare, and your costs will continue to rise as you get older.

  85. 85.

    Montysano

    August 11, 2012 at 9:13 am

    @WereBear:

    What, Ted Nugent didn’t have the right song for the moment?

    Nickelback’s “Burn It To The Ground” is the obvious choice. Don’t know how Team Romney missed that.

  86. 86.

    Jay in Oregon

    August 11, 2012 at 9:13 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7J6dRkJjOI&feature=player_detailpage#t=70s

    I’m trying to figure out if Billy Bob Thornton in this scene from Tombstone is Ryan or Romney. I’m thinking Romney.

  87. 87.

    Chris

    August 11, 2012 at 9:14 am

    @General Stuck:

    Psychologically, Ryan will become the wingnuts first seat POTUS pick, and Romney will seem like a wallflower, treated like the RINO he is viewed by conservatives.

    Again the same thing that happened under Palin.

    And in both cases the President/VP relationship makes it fairly clear who’s wearing the pants – the elites run the country, the teabagger types are just there as a show for the rubes.

  88. 88.

    Elizabelle

    August 11, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Governor Transvaginal out there, in full-throated Republican party animal mode.

    “You didn’t build that!” and their other greatest hits.

  89. 89.

    Comrade Scrutinizer

    August 11, 2012 at 9:14 am

    @cathyx: Would “Against the Wind” be a better choice?

  90. 90.

    Dennis SGMM

    August 11, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Romney, realizing that his ship was in serious trouble, quickly lashed himself to the anchor.

  91. 91.

    moonbat

    August 11, 2012 at 9:15 am

    This is SOOOOO going to help with the down ticket races because now we can tie the Romney ticket to the Republican controlled House who voted not once, but twice, for this disaster of a Ryan budget. Yay!

  92. 92.

    TexasMango

    August 11, 2012 at 9:15 am

    I didn’t think God loved Barack Obama enough to give him Ryan as Mr. 1% as VP, but I now take it back. God loves Barack Obama like he loved King David in the Bible.

  93. 93.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 11, 2012 at 9:17 am

    @cathyx:

    Probably. Yet another incredibly stupid move on the part of the Rmoney team. They never bothered to secure the rights, more than likely, because, as pointed out by SiubhanDuinne, they’re Republicans. It’s what they do.

  94. 94.

    Violet

    August 11, 2012 at 9:19 am

    @General Stuck:

    Psychologically, Ryan will become the wingnuts first seat POTUS pick, and Romney will seem like a wallflower, treated like the RINO he is viewed by conservatives.

    Just like in 2008.

  95. 95.

    ThresherK

    August 11, 2012 at 9:21 am

    @iriedc: I’m only a self-taught grammarian, but isn’t colloquial usage “buy the clap”, not “buy a clap”?

  96. 96.

    Todd

    August 11, 2012 at 9:22 am

    @Kirbster:

    Let’s say you’re 50 years old now and a minimal individual health care insurance plan (high-deductible HMO) costs $500/mo. Let’s assume a modest 10% hike in the premiums every year. By the time you’re just 65 and eligible for a Ryancare voucher, you’ll be paying more than $2000/mo. A generous 50%-off thereafter is still a shitty deal compared to traditional Medicare, and your costs will continue to rise as you get older.

    That’s me, exactly. When my mother was prattling on one day in opposition to the ACA and griping on Obama, I advised her of just this fact. All she could do was to turtle and claim that Medicare would be there for me regardless of the stated intentions of the Paul Ryans of the world. To her, the whole problem is young bucks eating tbone steaks, and not nice looking, serious sounding white men in nice suits, robbing all of us blind.

  97. 97.

    shortstop

    August 11, 2012 at 9:23 am

    I think people talking about Biden wiping the floor with Ryan during the VP debate haven’t seen Ryan in action defending (spinning) his plan. Unlike Romney, Ryan’s a pretty skilled talker. Don’t get me wrong; Ryan is a disastrous pick, ad I couldn’t be happier about it…but not because I think Biden can take him in a debate. On the stump and in interviews, yes, Biden will be great.

  98. 98.

    bemused

    August 11, 2012 at 9:23 am

    It’s official, Ryan is the one. Paul Constant said Ryan’s 290 page oppo file is already on the internet. Hee, hee.

  99. 99.

    Lawnguylander

    August 11, 2012 at 9:25 am

    @MattF:

    Nah, even if Obama were to inexplicably panic and replace Biden with Hillary he’d still win. It’s over.

  100. 100.

    Robin G.

    August 11, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Romney’s *entire* *campaign* has been about avoiding concrete policy… and the first specifics he lashes himself to are in the *Ryan* *Plan*?

    Dude. Mimosas for breakfast.

  101. 101.

    Robin G.

    August 11, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Romney’s *entire* *campaign* has been about avoiding concrete policy… and the first specifics he lashes himself to are in the *Ryan* *Plan*?

    Dude. Mimosas for breakfast.

  102. 102.

    rikyrah

    August 11, 2012 at 9:33 am

    @TexasMango:

    HILARIOUS

  103. 103.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    August 11, 2012 at 9:33 am

    This raises the question; did Obama give God Himself a blow job to be this lucky?

  104. 104.

    Chris

    August 11, 2012 at 9:34 am

    @Todd:

    “Regardless of the Paul Ryans of the world.” Ahhhh. No offense, but I just love these people – go on and on electing conservatives so that they can shred everyone else’s safety net but still count on the Democrats (because who else is going to do it?) to save theirs even as they damn them to the depths for caring about anyone else.

    Oy. I am not a politician, but speaking as a Democrat, I am fucking exhausted of being expected to clean up after each and every mess caused by the American people’s stupidity at the polls.

  105. 105.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    August 11, 2012 at 9:35 am

    This raises the question; did Obama give God Himself a blow job to be this lucky?

  106. 106.

    Fort Geek

    August 11, 2012 at 9:36 am

    There’s only one laugh that’s appropriate for such an occasion, and that’s De Niro’s.

    @WereBear 58: You are made of win.

  107. 107.

    Fort Geek

    August 11, 2012 at 9:38 am

    There’s only one laugh that’s appropriate for such an occasion, and that’s De Niro’s.

    @WereBear 58: You are made of win.

  108. 108.

    Chris

    August 11, 2012 at 9:39 am

    @Todd:

    When my mother was prattling on one day in opposition to the ACA and griping on Obama, I advised her of just this fact. All she could do was to turtle and claim that Medicare would be there for me regardless of the stated intentions of the Paul Ryans of the world.

    No offense, but I love these people, who vote conservative so that they’ll vote to shred everyone else’s safety net but still expect the Democrats (because who else will?) to save their little part of it even as they damn them to the depths for trying to save anyone else’s.

    I am not a politician, but as a Democrat, I am fucking exhausted of getting stuck with the bill and being expected to clean up each and every mess left by people who hate us.

  109. 109.

    Joey Maloney

    August 11, 2012 at 9:42 am

    @Svensker: As Dan Savage points out, you should never use p*ssy to connote weakness. P*ssies are strong. They can take hours and hours of pounding, and then they spit out human beings!

    To exemplify weakness you want something rather pathetic and silly-looking, that can’t take the slightest little hit without moaning and tears. Willard is a scrotum.

  110. 110.

    MattF

    August 11, 2012 at 9:43 am

    @Lawnguylander: Um, that’s what I meant. I think Clinton would be a stronger VP candidate than Biden– I know various semi-conservatives who admire her, and with good reason. But I don’t expect Obama to dump Biden and I don’t think he should.

  111. 111.

    RedDirtGirl

    August 11, 2012 at 9:47 am

    According to The Times, Romney slipped up at the end of his announcement and introduced Ryan as “the next president of the United States!”.

  112. 112.

    grandpa john

    August 11, 2012 at 9:56 am

    @Comrade Scrutinizer: I was thinking either “Out in No Man’s Land” or “Headed Out to Firelake”

  113. 113.

    pluege

    August 11, 2012 at 9:59 am

    the potential good news of romney picking ryan is that it will push obama into making promises to preserve medicare and social security.

  114. 114.

    danielx

    August 11, 2012 at 10:07 am

    @Chris:

    This’ll be the second election cycle where the Republican establishment will have spent the general election looking inward and trying to please their own rather than trying to appeal to people outside of their demographic.

    True, but what else are they going to do?

    Item: The Republican Party base is not interested in governing, since it’s an article of faith with them that the government can’t do anything right. How this squares with their identification of the military with all that is Right, True and Competent, I have no idea.

    Item: The Republican base will not accept any candidate who tries to reach outside the wingnut/crazy/Teabagger demographic. The crazier the candidates are, the better the base likes it, and they don’t especially care whether said crazies are actually electable or not. Witness Rick Santorum, who the base loves and who got his ass handed to him by 15 points in his last election.

    They would rather be ideologically pure and lose than compromise and win, which is why the Republican Party has enclosed itself within a bubble of epic suck and fail. The base cannot accept that the policies they slaver for are widely disliked outside that bubble, which is why they believe electoral losses are the product of deception and/or fraud.

    To the extent that there are any grownups left in the Republican Party, the grownups recognize that this is a recipe for long term loss and failure, but they are helpless to do anything about it. They stoked teh crazy to win elections for a long time, but when you make deals with the devil he eventually shows up to collect the bill and usually at the worst possible time. The Marquis was their last attempt to regain some control, and his campaign is going down faster than an altar boy on the Bishop of Boston. When he loses, the next Republican postmortem will of course conclude that he wasn’t conservative enough and that they need to nominate a true crazy – er, conservative.

    Wingnut event horizon growing ever closer…

  115. 115.

    Amir Khalid

    August 11, 2012 at 10:37 am

    @RedDirtGirl:
    As I understand, Mitt was merely acknowledging the true preference of many Republicans.

  116. 116.

    Steeplejack

    August 11, 2012 at 10:39 am

    @Betty Cracker:

    As God is my witness, someone at NRO actually typed this in a live blog of the Ryan announcement event:

    [. . .] Steps away, a couple mothers sway to the tune.

    That is shocking. It should be “a couple of mothers sway to the tune.”

  117. 117.

    pluege

    August 11, 2012 at 10:44 am

    its funny watching the conserva-whackos rail against romney’s campaign staff completely blind to fact that it is they that give the republican candidates for POTUS nothing to run on that the American people are interested in.

  118. 118.

    biggerbox

    August 11, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Biden better be ready for his debate. Ryan is a smooth talker, and happily lies like a rug. And unlike Mitt, Ryan doesn’t have that awkward laugh whenever he’s hiding something. Ryan doesn’t have a “tell” that I’ve noticed – I’ve seen him quite easily say things in a calm and convincing way that were completely untrue, and which he had to know were lies. But if you weren’t completely up on the details of the facts, you’d come away believing that Ryan was right, and your previous opposition must have been a mistake.

    He’s a sanctimonious Randroid, but he has skills.

  119. 119.

    Spike

    August 11, 2012 at 10:51 am

    @Linda Featheringill: Just like the Reagan campaign listened to the lyrics of “Born in the USA” before trying to co-opt it as their theme song.

  120. 120.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    August 11, 2012 at 11:14 am

    @Valdivia: The Democrat Machine is pretty good, but sometimes you need to do some searching around for the underlying context.

    https://twitter.com/democratmachine

    HTH.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  121. 121.

    Ben Franklin

    August 11, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    @General Stuck:

    Since most sane voters don’t vote for the VP guy, especially swing voters, it looks like Mitt has in effect, abrogated his nomination, before he officially receives it. I don’t think Romney is a stupid man, just a vacuous one, with a lot of empty space filled with pure ego and ambition. So he, and his campaign orbs must be seeing defeat written on the election wall, to go for such a love bug of the wingnuts. With the bright light of right wing affection surely to shine on Ryan, and not Romney.

    Any objection to altering your handle General Sticky Nickels?

  122. 122.

    xian

    August 11, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    @biggerbox: i think Biden can do quite nicely countering Ryan’s bullshit math with empathy about the impact on middle class families of these draconian policies the Republikans are proposing.

  123. 123.

    Gabriel Ratchet

    August 11, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    @Comrade Jake: Plus the media spins debates so hard after the fact that their version supplants what was actually on display. How many debates did W “win” because his gibbering imbecility was portrayed as “folksy” while Gore actually knowing what he was talking about was stuffy and arrogant.

  124. 124.

    WereBear

    August 11, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    @Gabriel Ratchet: They tried to do that last time: but people weighed in so heavily on Twitter and online news sites, to the contrary, they were forced to reverse course shortly after the “pronouncements.”

    I think we have a wrong conception of the “public” because so much of it now is paid shills shaping the narrative; perhaps that is in the process of changing. One of my least favorite phrases is “Where’s the outrage?” but when the media turns down ads and shuts down other voices, it’s no surprise it seems muted; no matter what it really is.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. The Mahablog » Faux Nooz Says It’s Ryan says:
    August 11, 2012 at 8:24 am

    […] — Mistermix writes, I woke up this morning to the reek of piss-pants desperation emanating from my Twitter in the form […]

  2. From Pine View Farm » Blog's archive » Veepstakes says:
    August 11, 2012 at 10:43 am

    […] Heh, indeed. Heh, indeedy-do. August 11, 2012 | Posted by: Frank | Posted in: Political Theatre | Bookmark this post […]

  3. Reverse. « From Eternity To Here says:
    August 11, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    […] I Love The Smell of Panic in the Morning (balloon-juice.com) […]

  4. Why Paul Ryan, why now? The demolished fable of Romney the successful CEO… | Under the Mountain Bunker says:
    August 12, 2012 at 10:00 am

    […] I Love The Smell of Panic in the Morning: “Man, this tells us a lot about just how worried, weak, meandering, insular and politically inept the Romney campaign is. […]

Primary Sidebar

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

2023 Pet Calendars

Pet Calendar Preview: A
Pet Calendar Preview: B

*Calendars can not be ordered until Cafe Press gets their calendar paper in.

Recent Comments

  • YY_Sima Qian on War for Ukraine Day 348: Bakhmut and Vuhledar (Feb 7, 2023 @ 11:25pm)
  • Kristine on State of the Union 2023 at 9:00 Eastern (Feb 7, 2023 @ 11:24pm)
  • Jim, Foolish Literalist on Post SOTU: Dark Brandon Is In The House (Feb 7, 2023 @ 11:24pm)
  • cain on Post SOTU: Dark Brandon Is In The House (Feb 7, 2023 @ 11:23pm)
  • The Moar You Know on State of the Union 2023 at 9:00 Eastern (Feb 7, 2023 @ 11:23pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Favorite Dogs & Cats
Classified Documents: A Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Front-pager Twitter

John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
ActualCitizensUnited

Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice   

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!