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With all due respect and assumptions of good faith, please fuck off into the sun.

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There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

A tremendous foreign policy asset… to all of our adversaries.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

So many bastards, so little time.

In after Baud. Damn.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Fear and negativity are contagious, but so is courage!

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You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / Caption Contest

Caption Contest

by @heymistermix.com|  November 15, 20123:00 pm| 178 Comments

This post is in: Readership Capture, Assholes

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If there were any justice in the world, this photo would win a Pulitzer. Thoughts on a caption? I was thinking “Grandma always did have a sour look on her face after Grandpa got into the moonshine and started talking nonsense.” Also, too: somebody needs to do this to Lindsey Graham.

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Previous Post: « If You Voted for Obama, You Probable Are On Food Stamps and Like Free Stuff
Next Post: Today’s Republican Hypocrite »

Reader Interactions

178Comments

  1. 1.

    BGinCHI

    November 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Worst. 3-way. Ever.

  2. 2.

    PeakVT

    November 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    “Two old men ramble on about shit nobody cares about.”

  3. 3.

    Comrade Dread

    November 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    Old man yells at cloud.

  4. 4.

    Dork

    November 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    “A bitch, a Queen, and some random chick in the background”

  5. 5.

    SatanicPanic

    November 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Three broken hearts were left in the aftermath of a love triangle between two senior and one junior senators.

  6. 6.

    Corner Stone

    November 15, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    “Did I hear a question about ‘strawberries’?”

  7. 7.

    mai naem

    November 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    “I,unlike my father, know how to steer just like the captain of the Titanic”

  8. 8.

    Mike G

    November 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    “Christ, What an Asshole”

    The New Yorker default works here just as well.

    robertsinclair.net/comic/asshole.html

  9. 9.

    Lee

    November 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    Who is the person on the far left of the picture?

  10. 10.

    Face

    November 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    A Grayham n’ Cracker.

  11. 11.

    celticdragonchick

    November 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    Get off my lawn, ya goddamned kids!

  12. 12.

    cmorenc

    November 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    Three folks working themselves into an orgasm of pissed-off-edness. The problem is that bile-shots are messy to clean up and leave stains on their clothes.

  13. 13.

    mistermix

    November 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    @Lee: Kelly Ayotte, R-NH

  14. 14.

    dmsilev

    November 15, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    @BGinCHI: I disagree. Joe Lieberman is not in the photo.

  15. 15.

    celticdragonchick

    November 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    @Lee:

    Senator Kelly Ayote, Republican, NH. She took the token northeast wingnut appeasment position left by Joe Lieberman in the McCain Kool Kids Kabal.

  16. 16.

    FlipYrWhig

    November 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    “_The New Mod Squad_ has opened to worse reviews than Guy Fieri’s restaurant.”

  17. 17.

    mai naem

    November 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    @Lee: I believe it’s Kelly Ayotte. She was a pretty big ladyparts surrogate for Rmoney.

  18. 18.

    blingee

    November 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Breaking, Top secret photo of US weapons of mass distraction.

  19. 19.

    Xantar

    November 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    “We’re here to announce that we gave it a try but polyamory just isn’t for us.”

  20. 20.

    The Red Pen

    November 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    “OK, nobody is leaving this room until this old white guy gets his country back.”

  21. 21.

    JGabriel

    November 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    White woman spaces out while old Republicans talk about … (she rolls her eyes) whatever.

  22. 22.

    scav

    November 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    “ You. People. Failed. Us. How dare you.”

  23. 23.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    .
    .
    Owner of 40 Denny’s restaurants to impose 5% surcharge for ObamaCare on customers’ bills

    A Florida restaurateur who operates roughly 40 Denny’s locations and five Hurricane Grill & Wings franchises in Florida, Virginia and Georgia intends to add a 5 percent surcharge to customers’ bills to offset costs from ObamaCare . . . .
    __
    “People are trying to find ways to avoid the penalties and to avoid having to pay for ObamaCare,” John Metz told FoxNews.com. “Everyone’s looking for a way to not have to provide insurance for their employees. It’s essentially a huge tax on all us business people. . . .”
    __
    To further offset the costs, Metz, who oversees roughly 1,200 employees as president and CEO of RREMC Restaurants, LLC, said he also will slash most of the staff’s time to fewer than 30 hours per week. That change will be announced to employees next month, he said.
    __
    “It’s going to be a big issue for all of us — for my employees and for me,” said Metz, who has been in the industry since 1975. “The ones that are working more than 28 hours, they’re going to act as if I’m cutting their hours and they’ll have to find another job.”

  24. 24.

    NotMax

    November 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Tilt to the Right: Portrait of Two Geezers and a Beard.

  25. 25.

    Matt McIrvin

    November 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Ayotte is currently denouncing Romney’s “gifts” line, just like Bobby Jindal.

    I do believe this is how Overton Windows move. The lucky-duckies argument is gradually turning into political poison. It’s a slow process.

  26. 26.

    Punchy

    November 15, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    /McCain squinting…

    “That chick over there looks even hotter than my current c#nt! Is she single? Lindsey, go check on…nevermind, you wouldn’t know how”

  27. 27.

    Lee

    November 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    Thanks for the answer.

    I had no idea that the Republicans had a Senator that young (at least she looks young compared to the other two).

  28. 28.

    blingee

    November 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    No caption but I can’t help but think McCain is still pissed he lost to Obama and a second term tore the scab off that wound. So I’m pretty sure this latest tantrum is at least partly sour grapes.

  29. 29.

    YellowJournalism

    November 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    “Bitches to my left, hos to the right. Mac Daddy McCain can do this all night! Break it down, for ’em, Lindsey!”

  30. 30.

    Lee

    November 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    @AA+ Bonds:

    I’m ok with that as long as that 5% actually goes towards paying for their healthcare.

  31. 31.

    quannlace

    November 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    “Hey, it takes a lot of lemon-sucking to get this bitchy puss.”

  32. 32.

    Misterpuff

    November 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    You go Girl. This is how you represent a state that just gave its EVs to Obama. We won’t forget in 4 years.

  33. 33.

    David Koch

    November 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    “Death Panel”

  34. 34.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    @FlipYrWhig: Gets my vote.

  35. 35.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    November 15, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    McCain: Ooohhhh man,that’s gotta hurt.
    Lindsey: How much are we paying this coaching staff again? Ah couda told you that was not the time to call a draw play.

  36. 36.

    NotMax

    November 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    OT:

    Oil Giant BP will plead guilty to criminal misconduct and pay the largest criminal penalty in U.S. history for the 2010 spill in the Gulf of Mexico.
    __
    BP confirmed Thursday it will pay about $4.5 billion over six years to resolve federal criminal and Securities Exchange Act claims against the company.
    __
    BP agreed to plead guilty to 11 felony counts related to the 11 deaths in the Deepwater Horizon rig explosion that triggered the gigantic oil spill. BP also will plead guilty to a felony count of obstruction of Congress and a pair of misdemeanor counts under the Clean Water Act and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.
    [snip]
    BP also will be on probation for five years. U.S. law allows companies to be forbidden from contracting with the federal government; BP said it has not yet been disbarred from contracting with any federal agency.  Source

  37. 37.

    Arm The Homeless

    November 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Least intimidating entourage, EVAH!

  38. 38.

    slag

    November 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    CSI: Mr. Puddles Unit

  39. 39.

    Cassidy

    November 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    “Did you just grab my ass?”

  40. 40.

    Judas Escargot, Bringer of Loaves and Fish Sandwiches

    November 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    “Listen up, you fuckers: Nobody leaves this room until we find out who stole my pal Lindsay’s ‘Naughty Nurse Ratched’ outfit.”

  41. 41.

    Misterpuff

    November 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghaz-Jeeze! Kelly, your hand is cold!

    And no, Lindsey, I’m not gonna play grab ass with you.

  42. 42.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    “‘That one’ keeps nominating makeup-plastered cunts* to head up State. This one [jerks thumb to his own right] won’t do me, and that one [identical jerk to his left] won’t take no for an answer.”

    *In case anyone is unaware of this phrase’s provenance.

  43. 43.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    @blingee: Gee, ya think?

  44. 44.

    Cassidy

    November 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    “Show me your O face.”

    Your welcome everyone.

  45. 45.

    ranchandsyrup

    November 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    BREAKING LAFF-A-LYMPICS NEWS: Muttley (center) and Daisey Mayhem (left) proudly announce that Huckleberry Hound (right) has left the Yogi Yahooeys for the Really Rottens due to manufactured poutrage.

  46. 46.

    Geoduck

    November 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    @Lee:

    I’m ok with that as long as that 5% actually goes towards paying for their healthcare.

    I’d only eat at a Denny’s if you held a gun to my head, but yeah, I’d cheerfully pay 5% more if meant the employees got healthcare.

  47. 47.

    Arm The Homeless

    November 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    “In recent years, the Lollipop Guild has found it difficult to recruit younger members. When asked about whether the Guild can continue to be a relevant force for change in Oz, Grandpa Walnuts denounced the question as simply ‘Gotcha-Journalism’ and then proceeded to point and yell at passing clouds.”

  48. 48.

    Judas Escargot, Bringer of Loaves and Fish Sandwiches

    November 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    @Misterpuff:
    Didn’t the Dems just do quite well in the NH state-level elections? The notion of NH going blue just floors me.

    The only Presidential ads I ever heard on the radio were Mitt Romney’s. I assumed the ads were really for the NH market, because they used Sen Ayotte as narrator.

    So yes, hopefully the good people of NH are paying attention.

  49. 49.

    Cassidy

    November 15, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    @Geoduck: I’d try and eat the gun first.

  50. 50.

    hep kitty

    November 15, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    Constipated? Try Dulcol@x, today!

  51. 51.

    mainmati

    November 15, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    @Lee: Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH)

  52. 52.

    LAC

    November 15, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    “Lindsey, is that a cloud I see in the distance?”

    “No, but who’s the young man playing in your yard?”

  53. 53.

    hep kitty

    November 15, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    @BGinCHI: Trust me, Lindsay does NOT want a woman in there! Swap her out with Lieberman and you’ve really got something. :)

  54. 54.

    Corner Stone

    November 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    {dialog bubble over Kelly Ayotte}
    “Why the hell are they wearing onions on their belts?”

  55. 55.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    @LAC: Ha! The tall, black, smart, cool, winning young man playing in his yard!

  56. 56.

    RareSanity

    November 15, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    “Something new, something old, and something FABULOUS!!”

  57. 57.

    Arm The Homeless

    November 15, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    @Corner Stone: I believe they are actually Tamagotchi.

  58. 58.

    flukebucket

    November 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    “FINISH THE DANG FENCE!”

  59. 59.

    mainmati

    November 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    @AA+ Bonds: This moron is just showing, nay advertising, that he stinks as a businessman. His competitors will just say “Hey, we know how to run a business profitably and we won’t be punishing our customers and employers because we hates Obamacare.” Let’s see first of all if the blowhard even does this and, if he does, let’s see what happens to his business (hint: not a good outcome).

  60. 60.

    FormerSwingVoter

    November 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    “Top Republicans watch footage of the 2012 Republican Convention with a more judgemental eye.”

  61. 61.

    japa21

    November 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    And the winner for the “Pretending to be a very serious person award” is…

  62. 62.

    jibeaux

    November 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    “We are the ghosts of Elections Past, Present, and Future, and we are prepared to fight those Christmas hippie moocher ghosts who want to scare you with Joe Biden’s chains and convince you to give your employee the entire day off and invite his handicapped kid to a dinner he’s not entitled to. We, Mr. Scrooge, think you’re doing just fine, except that you need a tax break.”

  63. 63.

    jibeaux

    November 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    @jibeaux: I admit it’s not too punchy, but it’s seasonal!

  64. 64.

    Suffern ACE

    November 15, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    @Geoduck: But it’s not really. He says he plans to reduce everyone’s hours to 28 per week so he doesn’t have to provide healthcare. The surcharge is to pay the fine, if there is one for businesses with less than 50 full time employees. Basically his plan is to charge 5% more and keep the money if he can.

  65. 65.

    Betty Cracker

    November 15, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    “Reagan-Bush I had Iran-Contra. Clinton had Lewinski and Bush II had the Iraq WMD faceplant, Katrina and the economic shitpile. Hell, I had Keating 5, and I didn’t even get to be president! Obama has to have a scandal too, and if he doesn’t give us one, we’ll just keep cold makin’ shit up until something sticks!”

  66. 66.

    mai naem

    November 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    @AA+ Bonds: Dumbass, when the Dems take the house over(and it will eventually happen), they’ll adjust the law to something like total number of employee hours per company instead of this 32 hour crap. And, BTW, does this dickwad think all his employees are too stupid to realize that he’s the one who is making the decision to not give them the hours/provide them with healthcare? I am guessing at least two thirds of his employees are going to blame him not Obama. Furthermore, I am guessing the vast majority of people are not going to care about an extra five percent at a freaking Dennys.

  67. 67.

    sharl

    November 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    @hep kitty: Y’know, I’m wondering if Sens. Walnuts and SouthernBelle are trying to steer the Kenyan Usurper toward nominating Droopy Dawg for a cabinet position. Would be typical behavior, especially for Walnuts. Hopefully it will blow up in their faces, and Sen. Reid will keep being a hard-ass, and move to get rid of the current filibuster rules. From that perspective, it’s good they are behaving like jerks now, before the rules for the next session are voted on. That threat – of a filibuster rule change – would be a good club to bash these clowns with.

  68. 68.

    AliceBlue

    November 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    @blingee:
    My thoughts exactly.

  69. 69.

    Chris

    November 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    @AA+ Bonds:

    Everyone’s looking for a way to not have to provide insurance for their employees.

    *snort

    “How DARE you expect us to provide insurance to employees that, thanks to our spending decades and decades stopping ‘socialized health care’ from happening, have no other place to get it from except their employers! You think just because these little cogs are working the machine that makes me all this money, it somehow obligates me to look after their livelihoods? You MONSTER!”

    The really sad thing is that employers actually need to be told to provide for their employees in the first place.

  70. 70.

    wasabi gasp

    November 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Whoever swiped the maverick’s pacifier best give it back pronto!

  71. 71.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    November 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Mr. McCain has said he wants to get to the bottom of what he seems absolutely certain was a catastrophic bungling of the Libyan situation by Mr. Obama and his team. He is proposing holding “Watergate-style” hearings on the matter, with lots of witnesses and of course, lots of television cameras.

    But yesterday, when the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee received a classified briefing on the Benghazi issue, Mr. McCain was absent. His spokesman Brian Rogers blamed a “scheduling error.”

    Poseur po·seur noun pō-ˈzər,a person who pretends to be what he or she is not : an affected or insincere person

  72. 72.

    Napoleon

    November 15, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    @mainmati:

    And pissing off some portion of his clientel who may never come back.

  73. 73.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 15, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    The sore loser caucus will now take your questions

  74. 74.

    crosspalms

    November 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    “Listen, smartass, we didn’t lose the election, we just didn’t win by enough.”

  75. 75.

    PQuincy

    November 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    The look on their faces says it all:

    They are losing.
    They know they are losing.
    And they don’t like it one single bit.

    For the caption, I think we’d have to reach back to the American Revolution, and the statements of some British governors when the Continental troops entered their chambers.

  76. 76.

    Donald G

    November 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Evil doppelgangers of Mister Rogers, King Friday XIII, and Lady Aberlin call a press conference to inform us, the American electorate, that they no longer love us just the way we are.

  77. 77.

    Corner Stone

    November 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @Napoleon: Not that I want to stereotype or anything. But the overwhelming majority of people who go to Denny’s will never, ever be aware of this discussion.

  78. 78.

    blahblah

    November 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I just feel so bad for Graham. I hope he can come out one day.

  79. 79.

    Corner Stone

    November 15, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    Can we go back to Solyndra? I can’t recall who was driving that faux scandal but they have to be easier on the eyes than Gramps McCain and his on the leash fool here.

  80. 80.

    Maude

    November 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    They really screwed up. The briefing was in another room in the Capitol.

  81. 81.

    Corner Stone

    November 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    Or maybe Obama can send out some Muslim Christmas Cards or use a Chicago based travel agency with no security clearance or something. Anything for FSM’s sake. Just get Gramps to shut the fuck up.

  82. 82.

    Lev

    November 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    “Here’s how it works. I SAY something is a scandal. YOU REPORT that it is a scandal. Then THEY DECIDE to do what I say. Something’s not working right. Must be that nightmare again where I’m not president. Sarah? Sarah? This is where you come in and start doing the chicken dance with sparklers and an Uncle Sam hat, and I realize I’m dreaming. Any time now, Sarah.”

  83. 83.

    Napoleon

    November 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    I am sure that is the case. But if, say, 2% of them know about it and act on it that could add up to a lot of dollars for someone with as many places as he has.

  84. 84.

    eric

    November 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Which one is vinegar and which one is water?

  85. 85.

    Cassidy

    November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    This already weird, slightly trippy stream of consciousness presser ended with Senator McCain doing his best version of Eminem. Oddly, it wasn’t that bad, but it made me feel as if I had terrible gas.

  86. 86.

    Lurking Canadian

    November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    @AA+ Bonds: First papa John and now this douchebag. Have none of the wingnuts ever even taken microeconomics 101? If it were possible for them to increase revenue by increasing their prices by 5%, they already would have done so. They’re asking us to believe they were leaving that money on te table all this time.

    I mean, if they want to cut off their own damned noses, I’m good with that, but stupidity offends me.

  87. 87.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    @Donald G: Pure awesomeness.

    @Corner Stone: Dude obviously wants as many people as possible to know he’s FORCED TO JACK UP PRICES because of the TYRANNICAL FREEDOM-QUASHER IN THE WHITE HOUSE. Perhaps he’ll add a little “Obama tax” line on the check.

  88. 88.

    ChrisB

    November 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    @slag: My caption was going to be “What, no Snausages?!” but you beat me to it.

  89. 89.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    @mainmati:

    his moron is just showing, nay advertising, that he stinks as a businessman.

    Exactly. That’s the problem with going Galt: what the hell businessperson, professional or “maker” would join a separatist community of their erstwhile rivals when, if they stayed in the real world, they would suddenly face less price-reducing competition overall regardless of the quality of what they produced?

    Me, I’m just fascinated with his choices and the language he uses to describe them, which suggest serious tendencies toward certain pathologies as well as a desire to run for office with a far right agenda sometime in the near future (the two likely have a lot of overlap).

    Metz has responded to something he doesn’t like, not with quiet cuts to spending or increases to price to actually offset costs (which it is in his best interests not to have broadcast) but by publicly announcing that he intends to explicitly harm his customers and employees (a month ahead of his official “announcement” no less!) until the Metz-perceived harm to Metz has disappeared.

    In the interview, Metz both bluntly announces that he will be cutting hours to “offset costs” and then preemptively complains that those whose hours will be cut are inevitably “going to act as if I’m cutting their hours”. He simultaneously takes credit for the act and preemptively insults anyone who might assign him responsibility for the act, or even acknowledge that it has happened.

    He also nakedly asserts that he is doing everything he can to prevent insuring his employees, and says it calmly as part of a sentence that assigns that point of view to every business owner.

    People whose minds work like that bring out the leering gawker in me.

  90. 90.

    hueyplong

    November 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Each time I see McCain looking all pissy, it creates yet another wave of Schadenfreude in this most Schadenfreudelicious month I can recall.

    Surely he knows that for at least half of the country, the mere sight of his face makes them think, “That’s the only politician in America stupid and craven enough to pick Sarah Palin to be his vice president.”

    If he’s capable of introspection, and especially if he’s not, there is the very real possibility that Walnuts will stroke out while on camera.

  91. 91.

    Todd

    November 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    OT, but this is worthy of some discussion, and I hope a front pager would pick it up. Over at Gawker media, they’ve noticed that the Dole/Kemp 96 website is still up and running.

    dolekemp96.org/main.htm

    Looking at the issues page, how the hell could a Bob Dole emerge a GOP primary today without being crushed by teatards?

  92. 92.

    SatanicPanic

    November 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    @Corner Stone: So? Would you want to piss off the college students that study there? Are more people going to go there just so they can have the privelege of paying more for the same food, just to prove a stupid point? Not to mention, I have a feeling Denny’s HQ isn’t going to be pleased about this.

  93. 93.

    JPL

    November 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    McCain: Darn where did I leave my laxatives.

  94. 94.

    Lurker

    November 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    @AA+ Bonds: San Francisco restaurants pulled the same crap after “Healthy San Francisco” got implemented: sanfrancisco.grubstreet.com/2012/07/healthy-sf-surcharges-civil-grand-jury-restaurants.html

  95. 95.

    Tonybrown74

    November 15, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Where will you be when your ObamaCare starts working?

  96. 96.

    danimal

    November 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Caption: “Senators protest lack of fiber in Senate cafeteria meals.”

  97. 97.

    Jake Nelson

    November 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Oy. BusinessWeek headline: “How Bobby Jindal Killed A Republican Sacred Cow”

    Yes, seriously, they said that.

  98. 98.

    The Moar You Know

    November 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    “My second term in office as the President of the White People of America is going just great. I’m here to announce a shoot on sight order for some asshole named Mitt Romney, who attempted to steal my office. Make it happen, Trollop and Graham. I gotta go take a nap.”

  99. 99.

    Chyron HR

    November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    At the risk of being obvious:

    Graham: What did she say?
    McCain: I think she said the President’s near!

  100. 100.

    hueyplong

    November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    Senator McCain angrily denounces saggy pants, while Senator Graham attempts a butch pose in preparation for his 2014 primary and Senator Ayotte contemplates the timing of her career-saving 2015 party affiliation switch.

  101. 101.

    RareSanity

    November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    (CNN) – Most of the Republican members of a Senate committee investigating the terrorist attack at the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, skipped an important classified briefing by administration officials on the incident Wednesday, CNN has learned.
    __
    The missing lawmakers included Sen. John McCain of Arizona, who at the time of the top-secret briefing held a press conference in the Capitol to call for the creation of a Watergate-type special Congressional committee to investigate how and why the attack took place.

    So you hold a press conference about how we need to get to the bottom of the Benghazi situation, during the same time you’re supposed to be in a classified briefing on…the Benghazi situation?

    wat?

    Here’s the money line…

    Asked why he wouldn’t comment, McCain grew agitated: “Because I have the right as a senator to have no comment and who the hell are you to tell me I can or not?”
    __
    When CNN noted that McCain had missed a key meeting on a subject the senator has been intensely upset about, McCain said, “I’m upset that you keep badgering me.”

    He just told a CNN reporter to get off his lawn…

    Source

  102. 102.

    eric

    November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    “Practice? We talkin’ about practice.”

  103. 103.

    Citizen_X

    November 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    “…and to hear the lamentations of their women.”

  104. 104.

    aimai

    November 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    @Lurking Canadian:

    None of the numbers in the story add up, either. He claims that an increase of 5000 dollars per employee for full health care coverage would result in a cost of 175,000 per restaurant? How many full time employees does it take to run a fast food restaurant? Even 50 full time workers would only result in an annual cost of 25,000 dollars. Do his restaurants not make any profit? Why is he arguing that the cost of the replacement value of the worker/health care has to come directly out of the pockets of his customers. I’m not surprised, though, that a billionaire would act as though the fact that there are costs of doing business–labor, food, rent, electricity, health care are all basically some form of “theft” from his rightful profits.

    aimai

  105. 105.

    Tone in DC

    November 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    @Donald G:

    (Spewing much soda)
    You owe me a monitor, dammit.

  106. 106.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    @Lurker:

    Oh yeah, I recall that – and as soon as people pointed out that they weren’t actually using the surcharge for health care as described on the receipts, and putting most of that money away for themselves and so what it actually represented was a simple price increase, the restaurant bosses started arguing that “health care” included minimum wage and their rents.

  107. 107.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    The not so itteh bitteh sour puss committeh

  108. 108.

    jurassicpork

    November 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    “OK, now, the Boer War veterans on the left…”

  109. 109.

    graves007

    November 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    “As soon as we’re done here lying like muthafuckas to you all, we’re going to have us some legitimate rape with this bitch behind us because the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down“

  110. 110.

    Jerzy Russian

    November 15, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    @Mike G: OK, now that was funny.

  111. 111.

    Corner Stone

    November 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    @SatanicPanic: I’m always amused at the idea of college students studying in a Denny’s. Like the poor woman making no money wants to keep bringing coffee refills to some college student camping in her tables for hours.
    And in the Denny’s in my area? Well, let’s just say that most of their patrons are some of my best friends.
    (yes, I mean they are black. That was kind of a reach.)

  112. 112.

    MomSense

    November 15, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    How about out of the senate, out of his mind and out of the closet?

  113. 113.

    The Golux

    November 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    @Todd: Ooh! Downloadable wallpapers!

    I see someone went to the trouble to neuter most of the links.

  114. 114.

    IowaOldLady

    November 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    “Why are we listing? What do you mean ‘iceberg’?”

  115. 115.

    Keith

    November 15, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    “Schmuck Dynasty”

  116. 116.

    jl

    November 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Scientists shocked to find rare flock of Benghazi vultures on Capital Hill. Breeding status unclear.

  117. 117.

    david richey

    November 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    “Every election we principled Republicans run on the damning inviolable sacred belief that government does not work. And then we get elected to prove it. Thanks for playing, suckers.”

  118. 118.

    Felonius Monk

    November 15, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    How about:

    Snow Right and the Two Dwarfs: Senile & Stupid

  119. 119.

    Yutsano

    November 15, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    @aimai: Maths iz hard!! Or his accountants really really really suck.

  120. 120.

    Elizabelle

    November 15, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Caption: Your tax dollars at work, Republican style.

  121. 121.

    Bubblegum Tate

    November 15, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    This guy just comes right out and says what underlies the beliefs of most Republicans. I don’t know what “American Renaissance” is, but I’m gong to assume the SPLC has been watching it for a while.

  122. 122.

    LAC

    November 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    @shortstop: LOL!! Exactly!

  123. 123.

    Paul

    November 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    @AA+ Bonds:

    “People are trying to find ways to avoid the penalties and to avoid having to pay for ObamaCare,” John Metz told FoxNews.com.

    That’s all I needed to read. He gave it away when he said Obamacare. This has NOTHING to do with his business and just everything to do with him being angry that the black guy was re-elected.

    Obamacare is the derogatory term that FoxNews came up with and pretty much always used when people on the far right try to diss ACA. Like in this case. Metz is a Republican and he doesn’t like our country’s President.

  124. 124.

    harmonicbalance

    November 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    “It’s my turn, it’s my turn to sound like an asshole on the microphone thingy!”

  125. 125.

    DaddyJ

    November 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    @Geoduck:

    [snaps fingers]

    I got it! How about everybody pay 5% more. We could call it, I dunno, “Single Payer” or something, and the Denny’s owners wouldn’t have to get outraged about anybody’s healthcare but their own!

  126. 126.

    trollhattan

    November 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    @AA+ Bonds:
    Alternate head:

    “Obamacare has unexpected benefit of improving Floridians’ diet”

  127. 127.

    LanceThruster

    November 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    CAPTION –

    “Sure you say that ‘he who smelt it, dealt it’ but we happen to know that ‘he who denied it, supplied it.'”

  128. 128.

    catclub

    November 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    @hueyplong: “there is the very real possibility that Walnuts will stroke out while on camera.”

    Yeah, unfortunately the evidence ( Mother still alive at over 95?)
    is he will be around forever.

  129. 129.

    FlipYrWhig

    November 15, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    “Jeanne Tripplehorn, left, says her greatest regret was signing on to ‘Grumpy Old Men 3: Grumpiest Oldest Man.'”

  130. 130.

    YellowJournalism

    November 15, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Anybody else think Graham looks like the sister wife from big Love who refused to dress in women’s clothes? Only, that character was more sympathetic and had tons of charisma compared to Graham.

  131. 131.

    trollhattan

    November 15, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    McCain: “Which of these two is the hotter chick?”

  132. 132.

    FlipYrWhig

    November 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    @YellowJournalism: Bwahaha, Big Love synchronicity!

  133. 133.

    YellowJournalism

    November 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    @FlipYrWhig: Oh! Right! This was the Republican Senator Community Theatre’s recreation of Season Four. Originally planned in honor of Romney’s inauguration.

  134. 134.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    November 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    @IowaOldLady:

    Damn you for stealing my thoughts! GET OUT OF MY MIND!!!

  135. 135.

    AxelFoley

    November 15, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    @Punchy:

    /McCain squinting…
    __
    “That chick over there looks even hotter than my current c#nt! Is she single? Lindsey, go check on…nevermind, you wouldn’t know how”

    How fast do you want your internets delivered, good sir?

  136. 136.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    @FlipYrWhig: You’re en fuego.

  137. 137.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    November 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    “I see Mr Limbaugh has joined us. Rush, if you could move to the centre of the room, please?”

  138. 138.

    tone

    November 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    two:
    “We have always been at war with Eurasia”

    “Cuntry First”

  139. 139.

    peorgietirebiter

    November 15, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Lindsey: Oh why don’t you just wake the hell up and smell the sandlewood Lindsey, he’s never leaving his wife… and just who the hell is that skank standing right next to him? The humiliation just never ends.

  140. 140.

    Schlemizel

    November 15, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Nice Polite Republican Radio had a piece on All Things Dismembered. The car pool talked over a lot of it but it sounded to me as if they were trying to present LA Governor Kenneth Parcell and a level headed moderate not all all like that nasty Willard Rmoney

    Ladys and gentlebums I think we have identified the early leader for ’16

  141. 141.

    Jay C

    November 15, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    @Lee:

    Kelly Ayotte is just 44 (a virtual toddler by Senate-Republican standards): she earned her wingnut points as a hard-ass AG in New Hampshire, and got swept in in the big GOP wave of 2010. If she lasts at least as long as Grandpa Walnuts, she’ll still be Senator in 2044 or so…

  142. 142.

    Violet

    November 15, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Lindsay Graham stands by his husband John McCain while McCain explains how starbursts led to his affair with a much younger woman from Alaska.

  143. 143.

    Lurker

    November 15, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    @Paul:

    Obamacare is the derogatory term that FoxNews came up with and pretty much always used when people on the far right try to diss ACA.

    Although you’re probably right that this Denny’s guy meant it as a derogatory term, I don’t mind calling the ACA “Obamacare” if it helps President Obama get credit for it decades from now.

  144. 144.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    @Schlemizel: Jindal has spent the last nine days vehemently disagreeing with everything Mitt Romney ever said. Apparently he was visited by three ghosts during the night of Nov. 6.

  145. 145.

    shortstop

    November 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    @Violet: If only he’d borrowed Wendy Vitter’s leopard-print dress, I could die tonight a happy woman.

  146. 146.

    Jay C

    November 15, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    @Jay C:

    Just btw: Kelly Ayotte may be trying to make sure that she WILL still be a Senator by mid-Century: she may be standing close to John McCain, but she’s making sure to put daylight between her and Mitt Romney’s “moocher” remarks. Smart lady.

  147. 147.

    smintheus

    November 15, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Daisy Mae, Fearless Fosdick, and Li’l Abner discussing Public Enemy Number One.

  148. 148.

    Citizen_X

    November 15, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    “GOTHAM: Billionaire Bruce Wayne, center, speaks at a press conference with his longtime ward, Dick Grayson, right. and publicist Helena Kyle, left. The two men finally outed themselves as ‘Batman’ (Wayne) and ‘Robin, the Boy Wonder’ (Grayson), crime fighters famous in Gotham 40 years ago. (AP)”

  149. 149.

    trollhattan

    November 15, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    @shortstop:
    Jindal is trying to out-Christie Christie. I don’t think this will work well for Kenneth les Page.

  150. 150.

    Applejinx

    November 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    As far as I’m concerned Corner Stone won the caption contest twice over. Can you do it? Can you internets TWICE?

  151. 151.

    Birthmarker

    November 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    @eric: OK, this is funny…

  152. 152.

    Citizen_X

    November 15, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    @Applejinx: Well, as Bush informed us, there’s more than one.

  153. 153.

    Trakker

    November 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    “In answer to a question from the press about where the GOP goes from here, Sen. McCain begins whistling Dixie”

  154. 154.

    blingee

    November 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    WAR, Bitches, Get some!

  155. 155.

    David Koch

    November 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    “My Fellow Prisoners!”

  156. 156.

    gocart mozart

    November 15, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    A Scow, a Ferry and Ayotte

  157. 157.

    blingee

    November 15, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    As part of the new GOP effort to reach out to women I had one surgically attached to my right. The guy on my left is already part woman so it wasn’t necessary for him.

  158. 158.

    cckids

    November 15, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    @AA+ Bonds: As if anyone needed another reason to NEVER GO TO DENNYS.

    Christ, what an asshole.

    It does work for everything Republican, doesn’t it?

  159. 159.

    Jim Pharo

    November 15, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Was this shot while the actual classified briefing on Benghazi was going that (that Grandpa John mis-scheduled)?

    Priceless.

    I can’t come up with a caption. I think no caption is the best caption.

  160. 160.

    Pete

    November 15, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    You say there’s an intelligence briefing on Benghazi where, now?

  161. 161.

    blingee

    November 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    I forgot to wear my Depends and just shit my pants. I apologize to the people beside me for the smell.

  162. 162.

    Litbrit

    November 15, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    Caption: “No, we don’t want Rice with that.”

  163. 163.

    Mnemosyne

    November 15, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    @AA+ Bonds:

    So if he’s simultaneously cutting everyone’s hours so they’re not eligible for healthcare and raising prices by 5% to “pay for healthcare,” doesn’t that mean that he’s just going to pocket that extra 5% and not actually use it for employee healthcare?

    Also, I’m still not sure why restaurant owners think it’s a good idea to announce that on any given day they may have employees working in the kitchen who have the flu because they can’t afford to see a doctor. Um, yeah, the possibility of catching something from one of your workers because you’re too fucking cheap to get medical insurance for them makes me wonder what other health and safety corners you’re cutting. I really don’t like my Moons Over My Hammy with a side of salmonella or e. coli, thank you.

  164. 164.

    blingee

    November 15, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    As a follow up to my hit tune:

    “Bomb bomb bomb…bomb bomb Iran”

    I give you.

    Sung to the tune of Richie Valens La Bamba

    “Ben Ben Ben Ben Benghazi
    Ben Ben Ben Ben Benghazi..
    I am an old man, I am an old man”

  165. 165.

    danielx

    November 15, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Backpfeifengesicht.

    Totally.

  166. 166.

    Schlemizel

    November 15, 2012 at 6:42 pm

    @shortstop:

    Here I thought it was Crust Crusty that was angling for front runner in ’16 but instead its Kenny the Page. NPR can burnish him up as a pleasant moderate but it will be interesting to see him getting eaten alive in 4 years

  167. 167.

    daverave

    November 15, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    “Anyone else here feel like their world is tipping over?”

  168. 168.

    MCA1

    November 15, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    “The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!”

    “Ohhhhh, I feel funny. I’m in love! Wait, no, it’s a stroke.”

    “I’ll be dead in the cold ground before I recognize Missouri!”

  169. 169.

    tofubo

    November 15, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    caption: let me sing the refrain then i’ll cock my head, stearn faced, to the right

  170. 170.

    1badbaba3

    November 15, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    McCain: “Palin?! How the hell did she find me? Why won’t she leave me alone? Whhhhhyyyyyy?!?!”

    Lindz”Blanche DuBois”Graham: Who let that :: bitch :: in here? I’d scratch her eyes if I weren’t such a lady. Harrrumph!”

    Unimportant Token Vag-American: “How’d I get booked in this toilet?”

  171. 171.

    gf120581

    November 15, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    “It’s a scandal. It must be a scandal. How can Obama go throw an entire $#^$#%#$ term without a scandal?! IT MUST BE A SCANDAL!!! ADMIT I’M RIGHT! ADMIT I’M #@%#@$@ RIGHT, YOU @#%$@$!$%$#^#$@^%$#@%^#$!!!”

  172. 172.

    smike

    November 15, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    @Dork: That one gets my vote. Nice.

  173. 173.

    Carl

    November 15, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    Look you already got you ni-CLANG in the Whitehouse, you can’t have another one at State!

  174. 174.

    russell

    November 16, 2012 at 2:37 am

    look up “butt hurt” in the dictionary, and you will find this picture.

  175. 175.

    Misterpuff

    November 16, 2012 at 3:59 am

    Well, I say its spinach and I say To Hell With It!

  176. 176.

    nemesis

    November 16, 2012 at 7:23 am

    A nun, a guy with dementia and a gay guy walk into a bar…

  177. 177.

    TenguPhule

    November 16, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    All we need is a bowl to serve these nuts and fruit.

  178. 178.

    Barry

    November 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    “No one is leaving the room until the party who took my Ensure fesses up.”

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