Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

So many bastards, so little time.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

“Joe Biden deserved better than he got from some folks in his own party.”

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Friday Thursday Evening Open Thread: HAPPY Talk, Dammit!

Friday Thursday Evening Open Thread: HAPPY Talk, Dammit!

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blind gop n elephant
(John Deering via GoComics.com – click link for fullsized image)
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Dana Millbank, in the Washington Post:

At a retreat for Republican leaders last month, former House speaker Newt Gingrich told them to “learn to be a happy party” and a “cheerful” one, and Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus said they should be a party “that smiles.” Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal told his fellow Republicans to talk about “just how incredibly bright America’s future can be.”

In other words, Republicans will win elections if only they can stop being so dour, dammit.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor took this don’t­-worry-be-happy strategy seriously, and in a heavily promoted “major” speech to the American Enterprise Institute on Tuesday afternoon, he let the sun shine in. …

But the sunny routine was a difficult one for Cantor, who has made a career in Washington of being testy and acidic. His delivery was forced and, as he read his text, he seemed to be reminding himself to grin. As a result, he scowled for much of the speech and sounded as though he were spitting out his words. Smiles formed at inopportune times, such as when he described a boy’s failure in public school….

One questioner, Eric Pianin from the Fiscal Times, pointed out the conflicting messages and asked, “Who really speaks for the Republican Party?”

Cantor didn’t hesitate. “The average American is not thinking about and trying to wonder about where the Republican Party is,” he said.

Cantor might heed his own advice: Americans don’t care about Republicans’ happy talk. They want happy results.

******************
So… here in New England, we’re buckling down for a nor’easter that the weathermen are gleefully predicting “should easily enter the list of Top Ten Boston-area storms”.

What’s on the agenda for the start of your weekends?

Reader Interactions

61Comments

  6. 6.

    Anne Laurie

    @raven: Sorry ’bout that… snow won’t start till tomorrow, but school cancellations are universal, the gov’s told non-essential personnel to stay home, and Logan Airport’s announced plans to close down (which is screwing up travel plans all over the right half of the country). Got a little ahead of myself, thinking about an unscheduled three-day weekend full of snow-lifting & cabin fever.

  8. 8.

    Jay C

    @raven:

    Not Friday YET!

    Just wait a little over three hours, it (and the Great Dire Blizzard Disaster of 2013) will be here….

    Myself, I’m exhausted from lack of sleep, so I went and did all the shopping we might need to ride out the GDBD13 without having to go out, and am probably going to just veg the storm out.

    BTW, has a very weird experience this afternoon: the Mrs. and I were out shopping and about 3:45, the phones in the store we were in, my cellphone, and her phone all went off at once: and when we checked, it was the Emergency Network (whoever runs that) warning us about the impending blizzard: we’ve never seen that sort of universal simultaneous alert before – I’m not sure it’s all that great an idea….

  10. 10.

    J.W. Hamner

    I’m allegedly flying to Costa Rica tomorrow for a semi-belated honeymoon from aforementioned city of Boston where weathermen are gleefully predicting a top 10 storm.

    We fly out of Boston at 6 am, so I’m not so worried about that… but our connection to Liberia, CR is out of JFK at 9:40 am. Still early enough that I think we will be fine, but worrying enough that I wonder how much sleep I’ll get before our alarms go of at 3:30 am.

  13. 13.

    Anne Laurie

    @raven: No prob, Elon James will be along any minute now anyways. Figured I’d give people an OT while I still had power :)

  16. 16.

    MattF

    Here in the DC area we’ll get grazed tomorrow as the storm heads north.

    And, oh, those Republicans. Needless to say, politics has nothing to do with policies, which is lucky for them, I guess.

  18. 18.

    Jay C

    And btw, what braintrust genius came up with the idea of trying to make Eric (The Mob Accountant) Cantor the new smiley-face frontman for the GOP? The guy’s whole public demeanor comes across like a combination of a nasty bank loan-officer and your ex’s divorce attorney: this is who they’re relying on to try to deflect public attention away from their lack of creative policy? Oy!

  20. 20.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Jay C: Maybe he is supposed to draw all negative attention to himself and allow the others to sail under the radar. Or it could just be dumb.

  24. 24.

    PurpleGirl

    Last evening I was having trouble connecting to the internet. I called TWC and spoke to tech services. We determined that the cable between my computer and modem wasn’t working and I needed a new one. Lucky that it happened last night because I was able to go shopping today and buy a new one.

    Imagine if it happened tonight and I was left without the internet for a few days…

  26. 26.

    Walker

    My snowblower has been the shop for two weeks. They finally returned it today repaired. Just in time.

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Anne Laurie: Given those choices, I will certainly insist that i was not being snarky. Whether you choose to believe me or not is another thing entirely. But I’m taking the meatballs.

  32. 32.

    raven

    @JCJ: Fuck em and especially that high school ass hole coach! And the best player in America got his ass handed to him.

  35. 35.

    raven

    @efgoldman: We’ve played twice in the 27 years I’ve lived here. Illinois won in the mid80’s and the Dawgs won two years ago. The funny thing about that game was that it was played at the Gwinnett Arena, about 25 miles from Athens and there were more Illini fans than Dawgs. Another weird one was the NCAA’s in Charlotte. We were in the same bracket and it looked like we would play. UT Chattanooga beat us both! That was when Providence had God Shamigod at point.

  39. 39.

    raven

    @efgoldman: Did you see the end? .09 seconds with the ball on our own baseline. Backdoor cut to the rack by Tyler Griffey, maybe the most snake bitten shooter in the B1G, and boom goes the dynamite.

  41. 41.

    raven

    @efgoldman: May 10th. I sent the dough but didn’t make the plane reservations yet. I have tons of free Southwest Miles so I should be cool.

  43. 43.

    raven

    @efgoldman: This has been an especially maddening year. We have a new coach, went 12-0, beat Bradley and Gonzaga on the road and then Ohio State by TWENTY. Since then we have dropped 6 out of 7 games. This could be enough to change our season and give us a shot at the dance. I had pretty much given up but now more sleepless nights. My bride walked in just as we won and I went apeshit. She’s happy for me.

  44. 44.

    danielx

    Uh-huh. The kind of divorce attorney whose office number is 666 and with whom you don’t set an appointment, you draw a pentangle on the floor and conjure him up.

  45. 45.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @danielx: There are other kinds? I am so glad that when I got divorced it was amicable enough and the property division was clear enough that I was able to handle whatever paperwork was needed on either side.

  46. 46.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @efgoldman: Congrats on the grandparent gig. My parents love it; my dad seems to have acquired a level of patience with my nephew and niece that he never exhibited with my brother and me. Funny that. Actually, it is very funny.

  47. 47.

    Anne Laurie

    @efgoldman: Congratulations! — both on your recovery & your impending “paternity once removed”, as a friend referred to his own first grandchild’s arrival…

  49. 49.

    JGabriel

    Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus said they should be a party “that smiles.”

    Then Priebus broke out in song, to the tune of The Mary Tyler Moore Show Theme:

    Who can gun the world down with a smile?
    Who can take a rape baby,
    And suddenly make the trauma seem worthwhile?
    Well it’s us, Girl, and yes we know it.
    With each blast and every ultrasound we show it:
    GOPe is all around, no need to waste it
    GOPe is all around, why don’t you … taste it?
    We’re gonna ra-a-a-pe you after all!
    (Bada bup bummm, BOP!)

    .

  50. 50.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @efgoldman: I find the same thin with being an uncle. I can be entertaining and fun. I can take them to do or see something cool that their parents would let them do. And then, when they are tired or sick or whatever, I can give them back.

  51. 51.

    LeftCoastTom

    So… here in New England, we’re buckling down for a nor’easter that the weathermen are gleefully predicting “should easily enter the list of Top Ten Boston-area storms”.

    Huh? 2+ feet of snow, I’d be waxing my skis. You probably don’t want to know what my reaction was to a 6+ foot overnight dump in Tahoe several years ago.

  53. 53.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    former House speaker Newt Gingrich told them to “learn to be a happy party” and a “cheerful” one, an

    Newt Gingrich’s smile makes me think that somewhere nearby is a large pile of recently de-winged flies.

  54. 54.

    Joey Maloney

    Did you know there was actually a seventh blind man in that fable? He said, “An elephant is like a mud puddle, except it smells really bad.”

    Thanks, I’m here all week.

  55. 55.

    JCT

    @efgoldman: Awesome! I am so looking forward to that stage.
    Chasing a little one will be great rehab.

    @raven – congrats re the Illini! What a crazy season. We were at the AZ – Stanford game last night. Had a great time watching the Cats cut down the hated Stanford tree or cardinals or whatever.

  56. 56.

    Yutsano

    @Omnes Omnibus: This will be so entertaining to watch when my brother finally accomplishes the deed. He and his wife are trying, but not very hard as both are in school and working. But oh the rampant hypocrisy my mother will display…

    I of course plan to spoil the little shit rotten. It’s what bachelor uncles do I understand.

  57. 57.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Yutsano: I worked at it as married childless uncle. Now that I am back in bachelor uncle mode, I intend to continue. I do think I should do something fun for my nephew (for whom I am also godfather) like take him to Crazy Horse in Paris for his 18th birthday. Perhaps I was raised on the wrong movies and books.

  60. 60.

    Wat

    Cantor might heed his own advice: Americans don’t care about Republicans’ happy talk. They want happy results.

    One problem with that: the entire GOP program is focused on how average people need to suffer, for various sins including non-beanie-brigade-approved sexytime and electing one of THOSE people to the White House. There *are* no “happy results” if the platform is implemented – at least not for 99% of voters.

  61. 61.

    fuckwit

    Enjoy the storms (and droughts, and fires, etc), keep burning those fossil fuels, and keep fucking that chicken, er, planet!

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