Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

People are complicated. Love is not.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

I was promised a recession.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Consistently wrong since 2002

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

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86Comments

  3. 3.

    c u n d gulag

    Jayzoos H. Keerist, making like he’s a “Whirling Dervish” while giving a sermon!

    If there’s one person who has proven themselves to have absolutely NO athletic prowess, or ability to dance, it’s MM.

    Stick to sneering, spitting, drooling, barking, howling, screaming, shrieking, rending of your hair and garments, and sending out your flying monkey’s, MM.

    No wonder Conservatives hate people with talent!

  8. 8.

    dance around in your bones

    Wow, that’s so lame it’s hardly worth commenting on.

    Not that I could avoid it.

  10. 10.

    JenJen

    I’ve been tweeting about this for days. I miss the spazzy jumps of The Cheerleader Video, but this is a good runner-up and the facial expressions are just as excruciating!

    Oh, Malkin. Please just stop.

  12. 12.

    Robert

    This just happened? It sure did. Suddenly the not really the Harlem Shake videos seem fine by comparison.

  13. 13.

    scav

    Speaking of shoe news, the pope’s gunna hang up his red ones, but keep the white robes. Also insisted on maintaining the “Pope” instead of “Bishop of Rome” side to his Emeritis title. Suiting up for his Benedict the Theoretically Friendly Ghost of the Vatican role?

    Mr Pod is in a snit, won’t let me link. Guard as usual for detail, plus snappy photo of red slippers

  16. 16.

    nemesis

    I hear MM looks exactly like pron star Dana Vespoli. Thats what Im hearing from the kids down in the mix out on the streets and shit.

  19. 19.

    Poopyman

    If it keeps her from ogling my countertops, I’m all for it.

    … As long as I don’t have to see it myself, and I’m not clickin’ that link.

  22. 22.

    Ash

    After many a viewing, dies the “got a thing about Asian girls” boner…

    Oh my god… Tbogg’s right! Damn you, Michelle Malkin!!!!!

  23. 23.

    Poopyman

    @scav: I heard they’re retiring red shoes altogether, and the next pope is going to have plain brown ones. Perhaps a pair of sensible shoes, like flats. Maybe pumps if the occasion is right.

  27. 27.

    celticdragonchick

    What the fuck is the “flying Menendez” thing about…and how far do you have to go into wingnut land to find out what the joke even is???

  28. 28.

    cckids

    Jesus. That an employed adult would not only think that up but actually film it & post it, thinking it is humorous or witty in some way is a pointer to what is wrong with today’s conservatives. They live in their own little reality.

    I just finished “Guests of the Ayatollah” by Mark Bowden, and I was struck by the resemblance in attitude of the student hostage takers to so many on the right wing today. “We are right because our God tells us so. Your “facts” are irrelevant to us. WE ARE RIGHT”. Scary.

  33. 33.

    Svensker

    @celticdragonchick:

    Sen. Menendez (D-NJ, also divorced) is accused/suspected of flying off to the Caribbean for some prostitutin’ sexy time. Also, too, there may have been some shaky money behind the payment for the fights.

    This is supposed to be a huge scandal. From the party that brought you David Vitter.

  37. 37.

    kc

    I’m not watching that goddamned video. So maybe someone will kindly tell me why she’s wearing that wig?

  38. 38.

    kc

    Also, too, I want to know why Malkin, who is a total ass-clown IN ADDITION to being a professional hater, gets weekly column space in my motherfucking newspaper.

    Shit, why not just syndicate a weekly Ted Nugent column?

    God DAMN, I’m in a bad mood.

  39. 39.

    Cassidy

    I’m not watching that goddamned video. So maybe someone will kindly tell me why she’s wearing that wig?

    Ahhhh…the unfortunate beginning to a regretful weekend.

  41. 41.

    Trollhattan

    Unclever people who believe themselves clever take insufferability to new and dizzying heights.

    The good news–thousands of idiotswingers will laud her for “Really sticking it to the Liebruls this time” and we can expect more.

    May I take your order?
    Yes, I’d like one comet, please.
    And how would you like your comet, sir?
    Hard and inside, thanks, right about equator level.
    We’ll get right on that, sir.

  42. 42.

    ? Martin

    @Omnes Omnibus: Unfortunately, anyone under the age of 50 cannot help but be pleased and amused that we have a first lady willing to go on TV and dance and be funny and act like a normal person and embarrass her kids.

    Parodying that in a divisive way is a monument to failure.

  43. 43.

    kc

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Ahh. Thanks.

    Good Christ, I can’t believe this woman gets any airtime or column space.

    I think I’ll go look up that Malkin/Bat Boy pic to cheer myself up . . .

  44. 44.

    Petorado

    Oh, bless her silly little heart for trying to stay relevant in some way –any way — to political pop culture.

    … So back to obscurity you go now you clever little minx.

  45. 45.

    Citizen_X

    @red dog:

    the second bad Asian dance craze?

    No matter how sick you may be of Gangnum Style, Psy is a thousand times better at dancing than Malkin.

    So’s Michelle O.

  46. 46.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @? Martin:

    Parodying that in a divisive way is a monument to failure.

    Dude, it was Malkin. Everything she does is a monument to failure.

  47. 47.

    ksmiami

    yeah – I want to join THAT group… /facepalm. Gee I wonder why The Republitards have a youth problem???

  49. 49.

    Trollhattan

    @kc:

    Sheit’s in your paper? Yikes.

    Ours (McClatchy) for unknowable reasons gives us daily heapings of WaPo’s “finest” by which I mean Will, Ruben, Krauthammer and Parker. Somebody has yet to ‘splain to me why I pay for this, especially since I don’t have a parrot.

  51. 51.

    Cassidy

    @Roger Moore: Eh, a few shots of whiskey and keep the camera below the neck. It’ll do the job.

    I know, I know, incredibly sexist…sometimes you can’t help it.

  52. 52.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Just Some Fuckhead: She is one of the objectively attractive women out there whose personality completely wipes out any physical appeal they might have had. I can be really shallow in this regard, but there are limits.

  55. 55.

    ricky

    OK, watched it all. I admit it. The dude at the Oscars with the booby song wasn’t that bad after all. And the “c” word would surely apply here, since she is a grown up, but for the fact that she is a person “de color” from a nation we stole from somebody.

  56. 56.

    Linda Featheringill

    I had never seen Ms. Malkin. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a grown woman who is that asexual. Hmmm.

  59. 59.

    Ash Can

    @? Martin:

    anyone under the age of 50 cannot help but be pleased and amused that we have a first lady willing to go on TV and dance and be funny and act like a normal person and embarrass her kids.

    Michelle O’s gestures in the “Where Is Your Father? Get Him Over Here NOW” part of that skit were so hilariously genuine that I was able to TOTALLY see the “oh shit” looks on the faces of Barack and the girls. :D

    As for Malkin, well, I just feel sad for her.

  60. 60.

    Trollhattan

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Speaking as a guy person, for me there are very roughly two kinds of skinny–this Malkin androgynous kind and the Olivia Wilde kind. I’m quite enthusiastic about the second and I guess I’d need to be a cardinal or something to appreciate the first.

    Even if I weren’t aware of the stalking, sneering, snarling side of Malkin she’d do nothing for my pulse rate, regardless. Lasted about fifteen seconds into the vid. There’s no “there” there.

  61. 61.

    PurpleGirl

    @? Martin: Hey, wait a minute… I’m 60 and I’m very happy to have a FLOTUS like Michelle O. She’s one well put together lady. She’s seems relaxed in her role and able and happy to do all kinds of stuff. I love her.

  63. 63.

    Central Planning

    So, is there a list of the things she’s supposed to be mocking? I don’t get the golf thing, and I don’t know why she thinks a Prius can run out of battery.

  70. 70.

    Michele C

    You know, when you all post links to stuff like this, I wonder why I read Balloon Juice all the time.

    That weird face she makes for “the finger of blame” is terrifying.

    I agree with @chopper, I can’t unsee that.

  73. 73.

    shortstop

    @PurpleGirl: The third baseman just now: “Yeah, what they’re thinkin’ is that he should be doing a little more caddyin’ and a little less golfin’.”

  74. 74.

    danielx

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I don’t want to judge until I see her perform naked.

    Following which you won’t be able to type because you’ll have plunged knitting needles into your eyes.

    So don’t.

  76. 76.

    Citizen Alan

    I like to think I was as offended as anyone else here by the Onion joke about Quvenzhané Wallis. But honestly? I don’t think I could be in the same room with Michelle Malkin for more than twenty seconds without screaming the C-word at her at the top of my lungs. Ditto Ann Coulter, Jennifer Rubin, Sarah Palin, Virginia Foxx, and Marsha Blackburn, to name but a few. Just the sound of their voices or even a glimpse of their faces, and I get this burning itch at the back of my throat and a nervous twitch in my right eye as the vilest word I know struggles to escape.

  78. 78.

    Funkula

    She reminds me of the yellow suit guy in Gangnam style (which, until I looked it up just now, I always thought was a woman in drag). But with way worse moves.

  79. 79.

    AnotherBruce

    I haven’t watched Seinfeld for awhile, but I guess Elaine’s dancing needed to be updated. Not.

  81. 81.

    Gravenstone

    @nemesis:

    I hear MM looks exactly like pron star Dana Vespoli. Thats what Im hearing from the kids down in the mix out on the streets and shit.

    What did Miss Vespoli ever do to you to earn such a heinous comparison?

  83. 83.

    Citizen Alan

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Why go for a sexist term when nice gender neutral expressions like “fucking asshole” exist?

    I didn’t say I was proud of it. When one is consumed by burning righteous fury, one doesn’t stop to consider the broader sociological implications of one’s insults. You just fling them and then feel guilty later. Also, it’s kind of hard for me to feel guilty about thinking that word about some Republican women given the existence of Citizens United Not Timid.

    Also, also: Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always felt that “asshole” implied masculine. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman referred to as an asshole.

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