Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

đŸŽ¶ Those boots were made for mockin’ đŸŽ”

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

He really is that stupid.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

This fight is for everything.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power
use it!

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Come on, man.

You are here: Home / Music / That Didn’t Take Too Long

That Didn’t Take Too Long

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A wise person the other day noted that screwing with Jay-Z and Beyonce might not be the best idea for Republicans.

Then this happened:

I can’t wait for them to piss off Snoop.

*** Update ***

Oh, my God. The press actually questioned Carney about the veracity of Jay-Z’s song…

For the record, Jay-Z probably doesn’t have 99 problems, either.

Reader Interactions

161Comments

  3. 3.

    Violet

    The banality of our press corpse continues to surpass itself:

    The track resulted in a bizarre scene at Thursday’s White House briefing, as a reporter read aloud the lyrics to Carney. Jay-Z and Beyonce are both Obama supporters.

    “It’s a song,” Carney said. “The president’s not communicating with Jay-Z over this trip.”

    Our press is nothing but a bunch of middle school wannabe dweebs hoping to get the attention of the popular kids.

  5. 5.

    lamh35

    Mad props to Jay Z. I toldya. Rubio and nem dont’ know what the hell they opened up.

    They can say good bye to the youth vote for sure.

  7. 7.

    Bubblegum Tate

    For the first time in years, Jay-Z sounds like he’s actually putting some effort into rapping. I like.

  10. 10.

    sb

    “It’s a song, Donna.”

    That was the point when Carney realized, “Oh my god, she’s actually serious.”

  17. 17.

    Morzer

    No doubt Conor Friedersdorf will praise her for driving the national conversation. She might even get a heh indeedy from the Snoreceror’s Apprentice.

  18. 18.

    Comrade Mary

    “Fuck this Zoolander shit.”

    Now I want to see Dylan and Jay-Z on a Cuban beach. They can keep their undies on, though.

  21. 21.

    kindness

    I doubt anyone on McConnell’s staff listens to rap. They’ll never know about this one.

  22. 22.

    Anya

    This is going to be the next Benghazi. Maybe even bigger. Let’s not confirm anymore Obama appointees before we get to the bottom of this story. The white house needs to hand over the transcripts of Obama and Jay Z’s cuba trip discussions.

  24. 24.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    I guess club DJ,DJ Valentino could have been with Jay Z and Beyonce. And he has a better response to the wingnuts, I would direct you to YouTube and type DJ Valentino. Not for playing at work or around little children or aged parents.

  25. 25.

    Mandalay

    @JPL:

    Let me take this opportunity to say, our Cuban policy sucks.

    It does indeed. The idea that only elites can visit Cuba because administration after administration has decided that Cuba is off limits to the average American is absurd and obscene.

    Cuba may not be the best democracy in the world, but the list of those that are far worse is pretty long.

    The irony is that if we had let “free markets” prevail, by having no restrictions on commerce and travel with Cuba, Castro surely would have fallen a long time ago.

  26. 26.

    Omnes Omnibus

    I bet that reporter thinks the lights of the Goodyear Blimp once read, “Ice Cube’s a pimp.”

  27. 27.

    Calouste

    Dear press:

    Johnny Cash did NOT shoot a man in Reno.
    John Lennon was NOT a walrus.
    NEITHER Cher nor Nancy Sinatra were shot down by their baby.

  28. 28.

    Will

    “The Justice Department’s ongoing investigation into criminal activity in the rap world suffered a major blow when it was discovered that none of the 54,238 murders, assaults and armed robberies vividly described in rap music this year had actually taken place.

    A frustrated and embarrassed John Ashcroft demanded that congress pass ‘anti-fronting’ legislation to prevent the wasting of valuable government resources on these ‘wanksters’.”

    http://www.gocomics.com/boondocks/2003/02/09/

  29. 29.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yutsano:

    A place to visit when you’re in Los Angeles County — Porto’s Bakery. The pan con lechon and chicken torta are my go-to sandwiches, and you have to get a couple of potato balls on the side, also, too.

  30. 30.

    Arm The Homeless

    I must say, I like the sound. Jay-Z definately writes better when he is pissed off.

    And as a person of Cuban descent, and a Florida voter, I would kindly like to tell Marco Rubio this

    Also, too

  33. 33.

    Woodrow/asim Jarvis Hill

    @Will: Boondocks Season 1 is on Netflix, and I’m already watching all the episodes I missed when I dropped cable.

    Damn fine television.

  36. 36.

    Highway Rob

    If Politico ever gets ahold of anything Method Man did on 36 Chambers, there won’t be a clean set of drawers in the building.

  37. 37.

    Suffern ACE

    @kc: Due to a vargaries of local laws, the murder of the sheriff is covered under the Law Enforcement Protection act of 1831 and comes with a penalty of 50 days in the stockade. However, the murder of the deputy is covered under the Gross Crimes Against Public Officials Act of 1950 and comes with the death penalty. I think the motive for his confession is clear.

  39. 39.

    Anoniminous

    Dylan was not knockin’ on heaven’s door.

    ETA:
    David Byrne did not hear of a van loaded with weapons, packed up and ready to go. Nor of some gravesites out on the highway in a place nobody knows.

  40. 40.

    Citizen_X

    Contrary to what Jay-Z says, Fox News is definitely not going to learn today, or any day.

  42. 42.

    Yutsano

    @Mandalay: It worked wonders with Vietnam and China. Once that genie was out there was no stuffing it back in the bottle and now both societies have changed and are changing.

  43. 43.

    monkeyfister

    What an enormous mess that song is. Obvious that JayZ spent all of 10 minutes making it. Is there some sort of message in that?

    It totally lacks the commentary punch of Paris, Chuck D, or KRS-1. Just a shipwreck of nothing.

    I guess I don’t get it. He and the girlfriend went to Cuba. So?

  44. 44.

    scav

    Millions of people plummet suddenly and unexpectedly to earth after discovering their beloved isn’t the wind beneath their wings.

  46. 46.

    Anoniminous

    @efgoldman:

    It is, however, well known, and contrary to the persistent rumors, they never talked to Darkness, their old friend.

  47. 47.

    Anoniminous

    Joe Walsh never drove his Maserati at 185 mph, so the state of California did not take his license, so now he can still drive.

  49. 49.

    Arm The Homeless

    This Just In: Morrissey indicted on terrorism charges for threatening to hang the dj

  51. 51.

    Anoniminous

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    And, Mr. Simon didn’t lay himself down like a bridge over troubled waters as a lonely nation did not turn their eyes to Joe Dimaggio while not wondering where he had gone.

  52. 52.

    TFinSF

    That sucks when Robert Smith committed the hate crime of killing an Arabic gentleman, thus ending a great run by The Cure.

  53. 53.

    Unsympathetic

    Breaking news on Politico: An officer of the law was shot. His deputy escaped unharmed.

    The state of Republican has an APB out for Bob Marley.

  56. 56.

    PsiFighter37

    That reporter is a fucking idiot. I don’t know what else there is to say, except that it’s pretty ripe for a spoof on SNL.

  57. 57.

    Trollhattan

    Speaking of shootin’ (we were, right?) a Very Special Mom has a Very Special Message about how her Very Special Boy is being treated badly by some very mean people. Now lay offa him!

    “April 11, 2012 will be forever remembered by the Zimmerman family as the day the justice system failed us as Americans, and as a consequence an innocent man was arrested for a crime he did not commit, solely to placate the masses,” she writes. “There was absolutely no justifiable reason my son should have been charged for a crime he didn’t commit and there was no just reason he should find himself incarcerated either.”

    Yeah, it’s just like she describes. Tell me, again, who’s actually dead?
    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/04/george-zimmerman-mother-writes-trayvon-martin-letter.html

  59. 59.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    An unidentified person nicknamed “video” is wanted for questioning by authorities in radio star homicide case.

  62. 62.

    dance around in your bones

    @max: Gads, I still love Nirvana.

    Funny thing, I was out of the country a lot, traveling when their first album came out (so, basically out of the loop music-wise) and when I saw the album cover + the name I assumed it was some New Age type music. Boy, was I surprised when I finally heard it!

    eta: also, the Sex Pistols didn’t really mean it when they said God Save The Queen. Shocking, I know.

  70. 70.

    Mnemosyne

    @kc:

    I’m waiting for someone to ask John Boehner about the veracity of Cat Scratch Fever.

    I actually know someone who got that from a new kitten. Turned out to be not nearly as fun at Ted Nugent claimed.

  71. 71.

    Bobby Thomson

    I don’t care what all you cynical naysayers think. I’m confident that, in fact, Sir Mix-a-Lot does have a fondness for big butts.

  76. 76.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @Trollhattan:

    No riders in sight and it’s quite nice out this evening, calm, even

    Contrary to rumor, the pump is working just fine, the handle is intact and has not been vandalized.

  77. 77.

    YellowJournalism

    Patty Smyth did not shoot at the walls of heartache (“Bang! Bang!”) and is not the warrior.

    Kurt Cobain most likely did not eat your cancer when it turned black.

    We do not all live in a Yellow Submarine.

  78. 78.

    ranchandsyrup

    @Omnes Omnibus: Oh man I forgot about that one. My memories of law school are fading. I couldn’t remember Palsgraph the other day. “You know the one with the scales and the train and such.” Thanks for the reminder.

    Also, too, I wonder if Mayo was going to call Dana Carvey as the church lady as an expert. “Maybe it’s………SATAN!”

  80. 80.

    jl

    @YellowJournalism:

    ” We do not all live in a Yellow Submarine. ”

    The Beatles lied to me?

    And damn, all those faithless lovers’ cheatin’ hearts will not, in fact, make them pay? I thought they did make them pay, in lots of small unmarked bills.

    The world is falling in on me. Really actually is, literally and virtually!

  82. 82.

    Morzer

    Sadly, you can’t get anything you want at Alice’s restaurant.

    Old Man River is in fact female.

    You’ll never walk alone remains untrue in built-up areas.

    As for Lucy, she ain’t in the sky and she ain’t got no diamonds.

  84. 84.

    YellowJournalism

    Hate to break it to you all, too, but Brandy is not a fine girl and would never be a good wife.

  86. 86.

    Todd

    OT – I interrupt your posting to inform all that Slapshot it on Netflix streaming.

    Old time hockey.

  89. 89.

    rda909

    POLITICO EXCLUSIVELY BREAKING NEWS (embargoed until 1 after 9:09): Colin Hay was never “given a vegemite sandwich.” Donavan Slack investigates her investigation…

  91. 91.

    Jay

    “The press actually questioned Carney about the veracity of Jay-Z’s song
”

    Harry Belafonte’s off somewhere, all like, “God. Damnit.”

  92. 92.

    dance around in your bones

    It’s NOT my party and I can’t cry if I want to? It’s not Judy’s turn to cry?

    I didn’t meet him at the laundromat? He wasn’t the Leader of the Pack?

    I bet there’s no itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikinis either. Damn.

  95. 95.

    scav

    And Nobody ever wanted us to have a Happy Birthday.

    ETA
    mmmph. apparently works both ways in my excuse for a brain.

  97. 97.

    Morzer

    @dance around in your bones:

    “Cry me a river” rewritten as “Cry me a small amount of saline solution mixed with snot”.

    “Call me, maybe” rewritten as “Why the fuck don’t you call me after our night together you lying, horndog son of a b****”.

  115. 115.

    Sad_Dem

    The Trammps did not, in fact, burn the disco down.

    Now, where did I hide those lyin’ eyes?

    “Brandy is not a fine girl and would never be a good wife.” Now them’s fightin’ words!!

  117. 117.

    MomSense

    I will fully admit that life in a house full of boys (even the pets!) has meant that my house has very little fru fru items in it. Can’t help myself, my first thought when I saw the photos of them in Cuba was OMG what an awesome up do Beyonce is sporting! Retro with a modern twist combined with the shades–fab.

    Ok back to swords and legos.

  118. 118.

    lojasmo

    @dance around in your bones:

    I was thinking last night how sad Kurt’s death was.

    But then I thought, If he hadn’t died, we wouldn’t have all the delicious Grohly Foo Fighters goodness.

    Not quite worth it, but I do love some Foo.

    Way more than Nirvana, in my opinion.

  120. 120.

    Scamp Dog

    So when I go to San Francisco, I shouldn’t wear flowers in my hair? Then again, if there are no gentle people there, I should probably rethink my travel plans.

    This entire thread has been very distressing to me.

  125. 125.

    dance around in your bones

    @Morzer: Oh hell, we are NOT family? Not even all my sisters and me, the bitches.

    @Yutsano: I bet I don’t have yummy love in my tummy, either.

    @lojasmo:

    I was thinking last night how sad Kurt’s death was.

    I still remember where I was when I heard about Kurt Cobain’s death. On a road trip across the Southwest and shedding tears. Too fucking young.

  126. 126.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’m watching the men’s Frozen Four. It’s kind of strange watching a hockey tournament in which Amanda Kessel won’t score the championship clinching goal. Probably.

  130. 130.

    Pooh

    Contrary to the general timber of this thread, many souls are owed to the company store.

  135. 135.

    area man

    Neil Young will doubtless be relieved to hear that southern men DO need him around anyhow.

  136. 136.

    area man

    Neil Young will doubtless be relieved to hear that southern men DO need him around any how.

  140. 140.

    area man

    @ Baud Great minds, etc. FWIW I recently loaded 16 tons and I got a pony. So that was nice.

  142. 142.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @Yutsano: Kessel had hip surgery over the summer, separated a shoulder in January and suffered a contusion that kept her from gripping a stick in February. She missed three games total all year, scored the game winning goal in the national championship game and the game winning goal in the final of the World Championships earlier this week. Oh, and she’s tiny. Yeah, the kid’s tough.

    It’s looking like I won’t have to figure out how to deal with a St. Cloud national championship.

  148. 148.

    lojasmo

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Ugh. Good lord, no.

    Not a McCartney fan, either. John was the guy.

    ETA:

    I don’t like Phil Collins, or Genesis after Gabriel left. Nor do I like Pink Floyd’s works after Waters broke off.

  149. 149.

    patroclus

    Are you telling me that Jesus didn’t come out of Chicago and caught a train for New Orleans??!!

  153. 153.

    Starlit

    I can’t really see for miles and miles, but that’s because I can’t find my glasses.

  154. 154.

    C Nelson Reilly

    You know, it looked to me like it was titty skin…but I could be wrong about that

  155. 155.

    Lurking Canadian

    Well, I hear Nate Silver is 79% sure that dog was about him.

    And Marley DID shoot the sherriff. Thing is, he shot the deputy, too.

  156. 156.

    Lurking Canadian

    “Dog”? Seriously autocorrect? I went for “song” and you thought “dog”?

  158. 158.

    Mnemosyne

    @Rob Lll:

    He’s not THE Anti-Christ, just AN Anti-Christ. (Seriously, listen closely to the song — that’s what he says.) And since he’s only claiming to be one of several Anti-Christs, who are we to doubt him?

  159. 159.

    Rob Lll

    You’re right, I misremembered the lyrics. Does this mean I could be an Anti-Christ too?

    Also, I guess Hendrix never really kissed the sky.

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