Whichever commentor — Schlemeizl? — started the Nugent Countdown Clock wins a cookie. Per Cord Jefferson at Gawker:
One year ago today, draft-dodging, venison-fueled gun nut Ted Nugent pledged at a Missouri NRA conference that he would be “either be dead or in jail by this time next year” if President Obama were reelected. At the time the Secret Service vowed to investigate Nugent’s latest vague threat—previously he’d said he wanted Obama to “suck my machine gun”—but ultimately it turned up no real merit to the ranting.
One year later, there is apparently still no reason to worry about the greying rocker’s saber-rattling. Obama won in November, and Nugent… is neither dead nor in jail, because he is exactly what you’ve always expected: a sad old man who riles up hillbilly sycophants with lies for fame and profit.
Congrats on your year of craven bullshit, Ted….
Gawker commentors were swift to point out Jefferson had omitted “pants-shitting” in his description. Who says young folk don’t know their history?
I was really rooting for jail. Am disappointed.
Well, maybe he meant dead on the inside.
@Spaghetti Lee: And that would involve a change how?
But at least Kid Rock is coming around.
Nugent is a coward.
Guys, when he said “dead or in jail,” he meant “invited to the State of the Union speech.” If you spoke wingnut, you’d understand.
Always amusing how they’re such big tough MEN with their gunz and their such-and-such. Turns out they’re a bunch of cowards, who knew?
answer to a question from down below
Descensus Christi ad Inferos,
One thing that can be said for the Church, they got answers for everything. The answers don’t make a lot sense, but they’ve been debating them and formulating them for centuries.
I wonder if Francis is going to do anything positive? Not that I care that much.
Church related, I just got back from a trip to Spain and saw some Semana Santa processions in Salamanca. Regardless of one’s religious leanings, it is a rather moving experience. A very beautiful old city as well.
Also, too, I want to live in the French Basque city of Biarritz. Well, maybe not so much in Biarritz but in the countryside just outside of town.
Oh, and fuck Ted Nugent. He sucked when he was sort of a rock star and sucks way worse now as a bitter old man.
A great man once said “Stupid is as stupid does”.
btw..I hated that movie but it seems fitting.
You guys don’t understand. The only thing he meant to say is he’s a Skynyrd fan.
Posted this on a dead thread below, but somewhat on-topic, seems like:
Guy blows his brains out on the infield of the NRA 500 in Texas.
At a race where guns were prohibited.
Anyone whose magnum opus is titled “Cat Scratch Fever” can never have been thought of as a sentient being to begin with. His pronouncements are worthy of his art.
It’s too late for this weekend, but I would like to start campaigning again for an occasional crafting thread on a Saturday or Sunday so peeps can show off what they’re working on. I know Linda was trying to show off her Chanel-style jacket, but it kept getting buried with other stuff. We have plenty of crafters and hobbyists to keep a thread going, IMO — we’ll even let raven show off his fish bones.
I’m working on one of these, myself.
But that’s exactly what he wants you to say…
I always assumed that the guys in Skynyrd were in the gun control column. At least back in the day
@Dolly Llama: To everyone who follows Dolly’s link: Don’t bother reading the comments.
I don’t have manual dexterity. I was waiting for the bus at the supermarket on Friday and was putting on my hoodie. A woman stopped and asked if she could help me. I told that this was par for the course and thanks, but no.
Just saw a diary over at KOS, a commentary about some young women who was on tv complaining because she was rejected by Ivy League schools even though she had a 4.5 GPA.
Huh? How do you get a 4.5 GPA? Isn’t that just like a Spinal Tap amp that goes to 11? What am I missing? (besides a life, I mean)
@gbear: Yahoo comments are fucking unsettling. “What about the guy that shot two intruders in N.C. that time? Huh? Huh? Where were the headlines then?”
The gun nuts are having a bad run of it lately, seems like. It’s almost enough to make me believe in karma.
@magurakurin: At many schools, AP or IB classes are graded on a 5.0 scale.
@magurakurin: Some schools give bonus GPA points for AP courses and the like. So, if you got straight As on all AP courses, that would give a higher GPA than straight As on standard level stuff.
Still doesn’t guarantee admission to Harvard, of course.
It was like that at my high school too because there was an A+ grade (96-100 I think) just like there was a B+, C+, etc. So A+ was 4.5, A was 4.0, B+ was 3.5, etc.
Totally unscientific poll question with utterly meaningless results however it turns out:
As happens with me fairly often, I’ve been otherwise occupied most of the day, haven’t had a chance to check in even briefly, and that means there are a lot of Balloon Juice threads I haven’t seen since mid-morning.
I’m curious: when you’re in a similar situation (I’m assuming most Juicers have Real Lives; could be making a bad assumption here) do you (a) start with the most current thread and go backwards until you see a post you recognize; (b) go back to where you left off and work your way forward (by which time the “most current” thread will have accrued about 200+ comments); (c) on the “tree falling in the forest” principle, simply start with the most recent thread and ignore everything that came before; or (d) other?
Completely OT, does anyone here remember the gaming keyboard that John Cole posted a video of sometime late last year? I just spent an hour going through old threads looking for it and failed completely. Yes, I am teh fail.
@SiubhanDuinne: I look for ones that seem interesting and/or have a bunch of comments. Then I browse.
@dmsilev: In this case, the Ivies appear to have chosen wisely.
As other people said, AP classes go up to 5.0, which can inflate some kids’ grades up past 4.0. Frankly, 4.5 isn’t very impressive these days, so I think she’s a little deluded if she thought it would mean automatic admission to any Ivy she wanted.
I second this comment! By the way, I missed the Linda Chanel jacket. Can someone point me to the link? I was finishing up a birthday present of socks for my brother.
If it’s only been a day or so, I start where I left off. If it’s been longer than that, I call it a loss and start at the top.
so, it is exactly like a Spinal Tap amp. I’m glad high school is now a distant, distant memory. Dark days they were…
@magurakurin: my kids school has a 5 point scale for honors and AP classes. 4.5 means that person was pretty far down the list at their high school, I would guess. I mean, the counsellors tell kids to test out of health and phys ed because the max grade would only be 4.0
Speaking of broken promises, wonder how long it’s been since Hannity said he would be waterboarded to prove it’s not torture?
all of the above
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Scenes from the New Hampshire statehouse:
Once you’ve figured out the basic movement, knitting requires a minimum of manual dexterity because you’re just following the needle along in a straight line.
I can’t crochet worth a crap because I can never figure out where I’m supposed to be putting the hook — everything I try to crochet ends up as a trapezoid no matter what I do.
ETA: And I suck at papercrafts because I can’t cut a straight line to save my life, even if I have a line to follow. I can only make paper things if I have a punch for the shapes.
I’m typing on a “new” 19 inch widescreen monitor. Picked that and an old 17 inch Apple Studio Display. The Studio Display has an old ADC connection and it so happens that my Power Mac 466 has an ADC out port. I put the two together and it works fine. Good times.
@SiubhanDuinne: I start reading about 3-4 back. Problem is that I’ll get all involved in the discussion and then post a comment, before realizing the thread died 6 hours ago.
This happens especially when I read the overnight threads early in the morning. Seem to be a lot of good discussions going on around here around midnight, and I tend to be checking in about 5 am.
I do that too. Pisser that those comments are invariably witty, succinct, and devastatingly to the point.
@magurakurin: I agree with you regarding Nugent but actually it sounds like from your comment that you have a complicated relationship with the Catholic Church. I grew up in a traditional Catholic family but left it long ago but understand the complications.
Usually Yahoo! comments are one word: BENGAZI!
yeah, it was me. I was really hoping for prison for the giant douche nozzle.
At the moment I am coming apart at the seems. A couple weeks back there was a job thread and someone here contacted me about applying for a job we have open. Its still open and I have spaced on the password to the the account. I am screwing up a lot of things. If it was you I believe I will get into the account in the next couple of days – hang in there & sorry for f’ing this up
@Fanshawe: Honors classes?
Except when Voyager 1 went outside of the solar system. A commenter asked if it could let him know if it found his cellphone.
He was trying to prove that gun regulation doesn’t work.
I need more convincing. I won’t believe it till a few more of these idiots off themselves in places they’re not supposed to have guns.
Y U NO DED TED?? I r so disappoint.
@SiubhanDuinne: no, depending on my mood I do one of those options.
great recent column on Nugent:
You will appreciate it, lots of good biographical facts in line with your blurb.
A) Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. This probably isn’t one of those times.,
B) It’d be totally cool if Jay-Z had said that about Dubya, right? Because America is post-racial and stuff.
@Mnemosyne: I heartily support this proposal. I bet a lot of BJers have more than pets to offer.
@mainmati: Personally, the Church holds little for me, even though I was raised a Catholic. I see a lot of bad that the Church has done over the years and the evil that it has allowed in recent times. But at the same time I see people who gain a spiritual peace from the Church and for them it offers something. They could find that same thing from other outlets that didn’t perpetrate some much evil for so long a time, but…yeah, I guess it’s complicated.
Semana Santa in Spain is pretty cool, though. And Spanish food is awesome. I loves me some jamon iberico.
Didja hear the one about the guy who shot himself in the head today at the NRA-sponsored NASCAR event? In Texas? By his pickup truck?
Count the cliches. So fucking unbelievable.
AHH onna Droid
(in all seriousness, I am pleased to see Cord still blogging)
God, those poor Onion writers. Can’t be an easy gig these days.
No shit. It’s like someone (who?? SATAN???) is just begging to prove that gun loonz are fucking crackpots.
Here’s another one, different topic: Houston organic/vegetarian restaurant makes tasteless joke about domestic violence on marquee sign to sell beer.
But Preznit Romney personally endorsed Tedious Ted (and one of the rapey guys also too) so show some fucking respect. Just one of the many with brains,talent and character to be attracted to the Romney campaign.
Still waiting with antici(wait for it!)pation for the Nugent/MeatLoaf RMoney Lovefest album. They can bring in Dana Perino for street cred, y’know, for kids.
Too many hits to the head. I watched parts of all the mens finals but not all of any of them. the Yale/UMass game was dreadful & the final was a peon to ‘tough guys’ who want to play in the NHL so they bored me. Mostly I have been either pretending to work or sleeping
Nugent, Nugent, Nugent. He seemed like such a nice young fellow back when he got hitched to LBJ’s little girl. Then what happened??
dance around in your bones
Frickinzezoid – when WAS Ted Nugent ever notable? I mean, Cat Scratch Fever?! Give me a fucking break.
What a sad person.
Too much weed.
Mama told us this would happen!
I would chip in to deliver a large crate of Depends to Nugent’s doorstep.
Besides “Cat Scratch Fever”, don’t forget his fine meditation on relationship conflict resolution “Stranglehold”.
Jay in Oregon
This song popped up on Pandora and it fits the topic, so… you’re welcome.
Weird Al Yankovic is a national treasure.
Nugent is coming to Portland, ME this summer on tour. I’m thinking of protesting if only to get a witty sign on the local news.
Ted? Dead or in Prison? Obama Rules.
Well if it makes Ted feel any better, he is dead to me.
…not that I’d recommend anyone do that.
I’m sure Ted’s journey to jail and/or the great rifle range in the sky is but one or two Friedman Units away…
Carnival Cruises must be run by Galtian Republicans. KTRK Houston reported this evening that Carnival is refusing to pay over $700,000 in Coast Guard costs from the dead-the-water poopship tow to port.
“It is maritime tradition that all nearby ships come to the aid of a ship in distress.” So the won’t pay.
Fucking giant balls.
@RepubAnon: I consider that one or two Friedman units too many. Ted should be dead or have a nice prison boyfriend by now.
@gbear: not getting out of the boat!
There are a few relevant lines about Ted Nugent in this song, but beware, the title of the song is “fuck the world”.
I graduated with a 7.0 from Wingnut University, with a Major in Bullshit and and a Minor in Freakshow.
I’m gonna give that a try if I ever have a medical emergency. After all “It is a medical tradition that a doctor will come to the aid of a person in medical distress.”, so why should I pay my emergency room bill?
@MattR: Thanks to Saint Ronaldus Magnus, you can do that. Of course the hospital will chase you until the end of time to get the bill paid, but just say you’re a charity case and they end up eating it. This is why all the governours right now refusing ACA Medicaid expansion are having hospital lobbies scream at them mightily to change their minds.
@SiubhanDuinne: I live in GMT+2 so by the time I wake up, most of the action is over. I start at the top, read down, browse comment threads that look interesting and if there is a thread whose final comment isn’t too stale, I might contribute. But I have no illusions that usually I’m doing anything more than amusing myself.
@Joey Maloney: What’s that now?
I wish someone would get a copy of the issue of CREEM I mention here (third comment) so there’d be more documentation than my memory.
Nonetheless, it’s as good as Ted pooping his pants.
In defense of Jefferson, “pants shitting” sounds like hyperbole and most people would find it hard to believe it is a literal fact.
The Other Bob
Cowards Carry Guns.
@RobertDSC-eMac 1.25: Perfect. Thanks for the assist!
John M. Burt
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Gee, what are people complaining about? Not only was the rifle not loaded, but it was a mere AR-15, which means it hadn’t gone through the twenty-minute procedure to convert it back into an M16 with full-auto fire.
So, practically a popgun.