Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

The revolution will be supervised.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I was promised a recession.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Come on, man.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread: Ted Nugent Still A Gutless Blowhard

Open Thread: Ted Nugent Still A Gutless Blowhard

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Whichever commentor — Schlemeizl? — started the Nugent Countdown Clock wins a cookie. Per Cord Jefferson at Gawker:

One year ago today, draft-dodging, venison-fueled gun nut Ted Nugent pledged at a Missouri NRA conference that he would be “either be dead or in jail by this time next year” if President Obama were reelected. At the time the Secret Service vowed to investigate Nugent’s latest vague threat—previously he’d said he wanted Obama to “suck my machine gun”—but ultimately it turned up no real merit to the ranting.

One year later, there is apparently still no reason to worry about the greying rocker’s saber-rattling. Obama won in November, and Nugent… is neither dead nor in jail, because he is exactly what you’ve always expected: a sad old man who riles up hillbilly sycophants with lies for fame and profit.

Congrats on your year of craven bullshit, Ted….

Gawker commentors were swift to point out Jefferson had omitted “pants-shitting” in his description. Who says young folk don’t know their history?

Reader Interactions

83Comments

  6. 6.

    Baud

    Guys, when he said “dead or in jail,” he meant “invited to the State of the Union speech.” If you spoke wingnut, you’d understand.

  7. 7.

    Liquid

    Always amusing how they’re such big tough MEN with their gunz and their such-and-such. Turns out they’re a bunch of cowards, who knew?

  8. 8.

    magurakurin

    answer to a question from down below

    Descensus Christi ad Inferos,

    One thing that can be said for the Church, they got answers for everything. The answers don’t make a lot sense, but they’ve been debating them and formulating them for centuries.

    I wonder if Francis is going to do anything positive? Not that I care that much.

    Church related, I just got back from a trip to Spain and saw some Semana Santa processions in Salamanca. Regardless of one’s religious leanings, it is a rather moving experience. A very beautiful old city as well.

    Also, too, I want to live in the French Basque city of Biarritz. Well, maybe not so much in Biarritz but in the countryside just outside of town.

    Oh, and fuck Ted Nugent. He sucked when he was sort of a rock star and sucks way worse now as a bitter old man.

  9. 9.

    JPL

    A great man once said “Stupid is as stupid does”.
    btw..I hated that movie but it seems fitting.

  10. 10.

    Fanshawe

    You guys don’t understand. The only thing he meant to say is he’s a Skynyrd fan.

  12. 12.

    Richard Fox

    Anyone whose magnum opus is titled “Cat Scratch Fever” can never have been thought of as a sentient being to begin with. His pronouncements are worthy of his art.

  13. 13.

    Mnemosyne

    It’s too late for this weekend, but I would like to start campaigning again for an occasional crafting thread on a Saturday or Sunday so peeps can show off what they’re working on. I know Linda was trying to show off her Chanel-style jacket, but it kept getting buried with other stuff. We have plenty of crafters and hobbyists to keep a thread going, IMO — we’ll even let raven show off his fish bones.

    I’m working on one of these, myself.

  14. 14.

    gbear

    Congrats on your year of craven bullshit, Ted….

    But that’s exactly what he wants you to say…

  17. 17.

    Maude

    @Mnemosyne:
    I don’t have manual dexterity. I was waiting for the bus at the supermarket on Friday and was putting on my hoodie. A woman stopped and asked if she could help me. I told that this was par for the course and thanks, but no.

  18. 18.

    magurakurin

    Just saw a diary over at KOS, a commentary about some young women who was on tv complaining because she was rejected by Ivy League schools even though she had a 4.5 GPA.

    Huh? How do you get a 4.5 GPA? Isn’t that just like a Spinal Tap amp that goes to 11? What am I missing? (besides a life, I mean)

  19. 19.

    Dolly Llama

    @gbear: Yahoo comments are fucking unsettling. “What about the guy that shot two intruders in N.C. that time? Huh? Huh? Where were the headlines then?”

    The gun nuts are having a bad run of it lately, seems like. It’s almost enough to make me believe in karma.

  21. 21.

    dmsilev

    @magurakurin: Some schools give bonus GPA points for AP courses and the like. So, if you got straight As on all AP courses, that would give a higher GPA than straight As on standard level stuff.

    Still doesn’t guarantee admission to Harvard, of course.

  22. 22.

    Fanshawe

    @magurakurin:

    It was like that at my high school too because there was an A+ grade (96-100 I think) just like there was a B+, C+, etc. So A+ was 4.5, A was 4.0, B+ was 3.5, etc.

  23. 23.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Totally unscientific poll question with utterly meaningless results however it turns out:

    As happens with me fairly often, I’ve been otherwise occupied most of the day, haven’t had a chance to check in even briefly, and that means there are a lot of Balloon Juice threads I haven’t seen since mid-morning.

    I’m curious: when you’re in a similar situation (I’m assuming most Juicers have Real Lives; could be making a bad assumption here) do you (a) start with the most current thread and go backwards until you see a post you recognize; (b) go back to where you left off and work your way forward (by which time the “most current” thread will have accrued about 200+ comments); (c) on the “tree falling in the forest” principle, simply start with the most recent thread and ignore everything that came before; or (d) other?

  24. 24.

    duquesne_pdx

    /delurk

    Completely OT, does anyone here remember the gaming keyboard that John Cole posted a video of sometime late last year? I just spent an hour going through old threads looking for it and failed completely. Yes, I am teh fail.

    /relurk

  27. 27.

    Mnemosyne

    @magurakurin:

    As other people said, AP classes go up to 5.0, which can inflate some kids’ grades up past 4.0. Frankly, 4.5 isn’t very impressive these days, so I think she’s a little deluded if she thought it would mean automatic admission to any Ivy she wanted.

  28. 28.

    Ha

    Mnemosyne Says:

    It’s too late for this weekend, but I would like to start campaigning again for an occasional crafting thread on a Saturday or Sunday so peeps can show off what they’re working on. I know Linda was trying to show off her Chanel-style jacket, but it kept getting buried with other stuff. We have plenty of crafters and hobbyists to keep a thread going, IMO — we’ll even let raven show off his fish bones.

    I second this comment! By the way, I missed the Linda Chanel jacket. Can someone point me to the link? I was finishing up a birthday present of socks for my brother.

  31. 31.

    Eric U.

    @magurakurin: my kids school has a 5 point scale for honors and AP classes. 4.5 means that person was pretty far down the list at their high school, I would guess. I mean, the counsellors tell kids to test out of health and phys ed because the max grade would only be 4.0

  32. 32.

    tom

    Speaking of broken promises, wonder how long it’s been since Hannity said he would be waterboarded to prove it’s not torture?

  34. 34.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Scenes from the New Hampshire statehouse:

    But that didn’t stop 11-year-old Hunter Cogswell of Concord from bringing an AR-15 and a big white flag with black lettering: “Come and Take It.”
    The boy said he was there to “stand up for gun rights.”
    “I believe in gun rights. It’s our constitutional right,” he said, adding the gun was real but “not loaded.”

  35. 35.

    Mnemosyne

    @Maude:

    Once you’ve figured out the basic movement, knitting requires a minimum of manual dexterity because you’re just following the needle along in a straight line.

    I can’t crochet worth a crap because I can never figure out where I’m supposed to be putting the hook — everything I try to crochet ends up as a trapezoid no matter what I do.

    ETA: And I suck at papercrafts because I can’t cut a straight line to save my life, even if I have a line to follow. I can only make paper things if I have a punch for the shapes.

  36. 36.

    RobertDSC-eMac 1.25

    @duquesne_pdx:
    Try this:

    Must Have

    I’m typing on a “new” 19 inch widescreen monitor. Picked that and an old 17 inch Apple Studio Display. The Studio Display has an old ADC connection and it so happens that my Power Mac 466 has an ADC out port. I put the two together and it works fine. Good times.

  38. 38.

    Randy P

    @SiubhanDuinne: I start reading about 3-4 back. Problem is that I’ll get all involved in the discussion and then post a comment, before realizing the thread died 6 hours ago.

    This happens especially when I read the overnight threads early in the morning. Seem to be a lot of good discussions going on around here around midnight, and I tend to be checking in about 5 am.

  39. 39.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Randy P:

    Problem is that I’ll get all involved in the discussion and then post a comment, before realizing the thread died 6 hours ago.

    I do that too. Pisser that those comments are invariably witty, succinct, and devastatingly to the point.

  40. 40.

    mainmati

    @magurakurin: I agree with you regarding Nugent but actually it sounds like from your comment that you have a complicated relationship with the Catholic Church. I grew up in a traditional Catholic family but left it long ago but understand the complications.

  43. 43.

    Schlemizel

    yeah, it was me. I was really hoping for prison for the giant douche nozzle.

    At the moment I am coming apart at the seems. A couple weeks back there was a job thread and someone here contacted me about applying for a job we have open. Its still open and I have spaced on the password to the the account. I am screwing up a lot of things. If it was you I believe I will get into the account in the next couple of days – hang in there & sorry for f’ing this up

  46. 46.

    J.D. Rhoades

    @Dolly Llama:

    He was trying to prove that gun regulation doesn’t work.

    I need more convincing. I won’t believe it till a few more of these idiots off themselves in places they’re not supposed to have guns.

  50. 50.

    OldBean

    At the time the Secret Service vowed to investigate Nugent’s latest vague threat—previously he’d said he wanted Obama to “suck my machine gun”—but ultimately it turned up no real merit to the ranting.

    A) Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. This probably isn’t one of those times.,

    B) It’d be totally cool if Jay-Z had said that about Dubya, right? Because America is post-racial and stuff.

  52. 52.

    magurakurin

    @mainmati: Personally, the Church holds little for me, even though I was raised a Catholic. I see a lot of bad that the Church has done over the years and the evil that it has allowed in recent times. But at the same time I see people who gain a spiritual peace from the Church and for them it offers something. They could find that same thing from other outlets that didn’t perpetrate some much evil for so long a time, but…yeah, I guess it’s complicated.

    Semana Santa in Spain is pretty cool, though. And Spanish food is awesome. I loves me some jamon iberico.

  55. 55.

    OldBean

    @Southern Beale:

    Didja hear the one about the guy who shot himself in the head today at the NRA-sponsored NASCAR event? In Texas? By his pickup truck?
    Count the cliches. So fucking unbelievable.

    God, those poor Onion writers. Can’t be an easy gig these days.

  57. 57.

    1badbaba3

    But Preznit Romney personally endorsed Tedious Ted (and one of the rapey guys also too) so show some fucking respect. Just one of the many with brains,talent and character to be attracted to the Romney campaign.

    Still waiting with antici(wait for it!)pation for the Nugent/MeatLoaf RMoney Lovefest album. They can bring in Dana Perino for street cred, y’know, for kids.

  58. 58.

    Schlemizel

    @efgoldman:

    Too many hits to the head. I watched parts of all the mens finals but not all of any of them. the Yale/UMass game was dreadful & the final was a peon to ‘tough guys’ who want to play in the NHL so they bored me. Mostly I have been either pretending to work or sleeping

  59. 59.

    Booger

    Nugent, Nugent, Nugent. He seemed like such a nice young fellow back when he got hitched to LBJ’s little girl. Then what happened??

  60. 60.

    dance around in your bones

    Frickinzezoid – when WAS Ted Nugent ever notable? I mean, Cat Scratch Fever?! Give me a fucking break.

    What a sad person.

  63. 63.

    drkrick

    Besides “Cat Scratch Fever”, don’t forget his fine meditation on relationship conflict resolution “Stranglehold”.

  65. 65.

    Redshirt

    Nugent is coming to Portland, ME this summer on tour. I’m thinking of protesting if only to get a witty sign on the local news.

    Ted? Dead or in Prison? Obama Rules.

  68. 68.

    RepubAnon

    I’m sure Ted’s journey to jail and/or the great rifle range in the sky is but one or two Friedman Units away…

  69. 69.

    RaflW

    Carnival Cruises must be run by Galtian Republicans. KTRK Houston reported this evening that Carnival is refusing to pay over $700,000 in Coast Guard costs from the dead-the-water poopship tow to port.

    “It is maritime tradition that all nearby ships come to the aid of a ship in distress.” So the won’t pay.

    Fucking giant balls.

  74. 74.

    MattR

    @RaflW:

    “It is maritime tradition that all nearby ships come to the aid of a ship in distress.” So they won’t pay.

    I’m gonna give that a try if I ever have a medical emergency. After all “It is a medical tradition that a doctor will come to the aid of a person in medical distress.”, so why should I pay my emergency room bill?

  75. 75.

    Yutsano

    @MattR: Thanks to Saint Ronaldus Magnus, you can do that. Of course the hospital will chase you until the end of time to get the bill paid, but just say you’re a charity case and they end up eating it. This is why all the governours right now refusing ACA Medicaid expansion are having hospital lobbies scream at them mightily to change their minds.

  76. 76.

    Joey Maloney

    @SiubhanDuinne: I live in GMT+2 so by the time I wake up, most of the action is over. I start at the top, read down, browse comment threads that look interesting and if there is a thread whose final comment isn’t too stale, I might contribute. But I have no illusions that usually I’m doing anything more than amusing myself.

  79. 79.

    Fred

    In defense of Jefferson, “pants shitting” sounds like hyperbole and most people would find it hard to believe it is a literal fact.

  82. 82.

    John M. Burt

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Gee, what are people complaining about? Not only was the rifle not loaded, but it was a mere AR-15, which means it hadn’t gone through the twenty-minute procedure to convert it back into an M16 with full-auto fire.

    So, practically a popgun.

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