Which is more likely: a fetus beating off in the womb, or John Boehner bringing meaningful immigration reform to the floor of the House? My money is on Rosy Palm and her five sisters, in utero, but that won’t spare us the regular updates on a bunch of pointless wanking by Boehner and the rest of the House and Senate Republicans.
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Yatsuno
If he does manage to do it, it will be with all Democrats and the very few Repubs willing to stand up to the teatards. In other words, Nancy SMASH!! would be saving his bacon. Again.
PeakVT
Other than the budget, there will be no meaningful legislation passed until after Nov. 2014.
Forum Transmitted Disease
Oh, he’ll bring it to the House. And then get so publicly torpedoed by his own party that he has to break the Hastert Suggestion and pass it with Democrats. Dems will get all the credit for the “reform”, the GOP will continue to be known as the third incarnation of the Klan, and yet another GOP attempt to pull the wool over the eyes of voters will be trashed by their own party.
scav
Congressmen trying to demonstrate proof of life and low-level cortical function so as not to get aborted during elections?
Comrade Jake
All this time I thought she was called Handah.
mistermix
@Forum Transmitted Disease: I don’t think he’ll use the Hastert Rule but weak babies are hard to predict.
Suffern ACE
Listened to Al Hunt (Republicans are brilliant) on Bloomberg Radio yesterday talking about the brilliant republican strategy to pass the immigration reform and that Boehner would do the right thing and pass the legislation and resign from the speakership. The Most Noble Republican Party.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Yatsuno: But he caved to the Republicans on this. He’s decided he must follow the Hastert Rule(Daily Kos link).
bill d
Stupid question of the day: Why does he even want to be Speaker of The House if he doesn’t want to do anything?
Hunter Gathers
I’m holding off judgement until Snowden gives his blessing, seeing as he’s now The King of All Progressives. Obama broke his promise!
MattF
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): Right. Also reported in the NYT.
Forum Transmitted Disease
Any way you slice it, the result of this bill will be a net negative for the GOP. This makes me happy.
bill d
@Suffern ACE:
And they will all break out in one large song and dance number while doing it?
Gin & Tonic
@bill d: Probably gets a good parking spot and a nicer office.
Comrade Jake
@Forum Transmitted Disease: Yes, they are boxed into something of a corner here. But with all the gerrymandering, their default position is to play to their base of white male America.
Villago Delenda Est
Boner’s problem is that he’s got a bloc of racist shitweasels who think “immigration reform” is sending anyone who speaks Spanish as a first language back to Madrid, where they all came from.
feebog
I’m sure the Boner will bring this up right after the jobs bill he has been promising for 2 years.
Yatsuno
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): @MattF: So basically it’s dead in the water. Way to go AOS!!!
Villago Delenda Est
@bill d:
I’m thinking that scene directed by Dom DeLuise in Blazing Saddles
bill d
mistermix, that really is one pretty damn awesome title for this piece.
Doug Milhous J
I wonder what Boehner will do now. Just punt or try to pass something weaker?
raven
@Doug Milhous J: He doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind.
NickT
@Villago Delenda Est:
I think we should refer to them as the Republican constipation, rather than the Republican party.
Higgs Boson's Mate
I’m shocked, shocked…
ranchandsyrup
Self preservation above all. Any governing is an unintended consequence by these bloated sacs.
pokeyblow
Foeting off.
rikyrah
Orange Julius will never win a Profile in Courage award….
flukebucket
Looks like it’s you and me again tonight Rosie.
red dog
@raven: So he is farting and closing one eye as a compromise.
piratedan
@PeakVT: well that agenda is pretty full, there’s repeal Obamacare, stall on the debt ceiling, some additional defunding of acorn, passing more unconstitutional abortion legislation, some voter ID restrictions just where do you find an opening in the schedule for the next 18 months?
Higgs Boson's Mate
Gee, and there was Ayn Rand Paul calling for more inclusiveness. Anyone else thinking that this means that Ayn Rand’s chances of getting nominated are going down with all hands?
danimal
I keep wondering why they bothered to start the process at all, unless they really thought they were going to pass something. It’s one thing to never bring an issue up and let it linger (think climate change). It’s a whole other dynamic to start debate, bring up a bill and then kill it publicly, with your fingerprints on the murder weapon.
Do they think Hispanics and Asians aren’t going to notice that they are sucking up to the white nativist GOP base?
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@danimal: What they’re waiting for is Asians and Latinos to declare themselves white just like the Irish did, and stop speaking with funny accents.
SatanicPanic
You know what they need? Latino jokes
Suffern ACE
@danimal: Except I don’t think they brought it up. They ran on not brining it up. In fact, they ran on keeping everything the same except making life harder on illegal immigrants so they would go home.
Waysel
@bill d: Concur.
thoughtcrime
And speaking of abortion jokes (from commenter Sol Berdinowitz @ littlegreenfootballs)
Rich (In Name Only) in Reno
So is boy fetuses wanking proof of original sin?
Higgs Boson's Mate
@SatanicPanic:
You know what they need?
LatinoMojado jokes.FTFY
Shakezula
Meaningful immigration reform is too high a bar. So is any form of immigration reform. We might see a bill that would allow these goiters to employ non-citizen servants for pennies an hour without legal repercussions and guarantee corporations can do the same.
You may assume the bill will be worded in such a way as to cause everyone of Hispanic descent and 99% of non-Hispanics to spit acid.
@bill d: Does the position come with a really big drinks cabinet?
SatanicPanic
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: I used to work with a teabagger who I swear corrected herself in the middle of saying the word Mexican to say “wetback”. She realized that she was using an acceptable term but had to just get in an ethnic slur. For what reason I don’t know, none of the rest of us were teabaggers and/or likely to be amused. This is what the Republicans who think they’re going to get Latinos to vote for them are up against.
kindness
Hey, hey HEY!!!
What is all this about men (babies in the womb) beating off like there is no tomorrow? In this age of empowerment, women deserve equal opportunity to wank in the womb. OK…. maybe fap is a better term.
Equal rights for women (fetuses).
Uncle Cosmo
@Comrade Jake: In Mother Russia she’s Auntie Fist (Dunya Kulakova). One of the many gems in the slim copy of Christina Kuntiskaya-Peterson’s International Dictionary of Obscenities: A Guide to Dirty Words & Indecent Expresssions in Spanish, Italian, French, German, Russian I picked up in Schoenhof’s near Hahvahd Yahd too many years ago to remember…
El Cid
Again, one of our two major political parties is led by and supported by people who have no idea where babies really come from and how that works.
El Cid
@kindness: Wait to see how long they’re speculating whether or not they can force transvaginal probes for who knows what imaginable justification for these female fetuses.
Stooleo
Republican doctors are really good at inferring things. Bill Frist inferred that Terri Schiavo’s head lolling and eye blinking as brain activity and this guy thinks that arm movement in a fetus is fapping.
Lurking Canadian
@El Cid: There’s no such thing as fetal wanking; if it’s a legitimate wank, the woman’s body has a way of shutting that down.
Fred
In-utero wanking is kinda like incest. Now if lil’ Peter gets Mumsie in a family way can she then get an abortion or is it just Devine Will and there’s nuthin’ nobody can do about it?
Hey maybe this is really where twins come from. Can we get ultra sound evidence of in-utero hanky panky? ‘Hot Fetuses Gone Wild’