Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I was promised a recession.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

“woke” is the new caravan.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Thanks for reminding me that Van Jones needs to be slapped.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

No one could have predicted…

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

No Justins, No Peace

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Late Night Cat-Renaming Thread

Late Night Cat-Renaming Thread

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We’re not bad people, we’re not dirty, we’re not mean
We love everybody, but we do as we please…

Those sideburns! And then:

mungo mun·go [muhng-goh] noun, plural mun·gos.
a low-grade wool from felted rags or waste.
Also, mongo, mongoe.
Origin: 1800–10; origin uncertain

Those of you who’ve ever had to comb out a Maine Coon cat will understand.

Also, this guy, and this guy, and the professional baseball player:

Stories and anecdotes about Mungo tend to emphasize his reputation for combativeness, including episodes of drinking and fighting. The most widely told story concerns a visit to Cuba where, supposedly, Mungo was caught in a compromising position with a married woman by her husband. Mungo punched the husband in the eye, leading him to attack Mungo with a butcher knife or machete, requiring Dodgers executive Babe Hamberger to smuggle Mungo in a laundry cart to a seaplane waiting off a wharf in order to escape the country…

Cole, if you don’t call the new guy Mungo / Mongo, you’re just missing your best chance.

Reader Interactions

47Comments

  2. 2.

    MattR

    I am not advocating for or against any names, just reminding Cole to consider the merchandising possibilities when making his choice.

  3. 3.

    Steeplejack

    At this point, Cole should name the cat either (a) Mongo or (b) Dude Lebowski. I prefer the latter.

  5. 5.

    Punchy

    This blog has become quite cat-centric. Name it something unique like “Polymerase” or “Friedel-Crafts” and lets get it over with. I want threads on soccer and bsseball and large boobs. Chop-chop.

  8. 8.

    PeakVT

    Hee, hee:

    Intellectually honest inflationphobes need to explain why they were wrong and stop crying wolf or else it will be reasonable to assume they are simply cranks and crackpots.

  9. 9.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    Well, at leas when John gets fed up with us or the blog again and just wants to flip a table, he can sign off with ‘Nevermind that shit, here comes Mongo!’

  10. 10.

    Spaghetti Lee

    I think Jerry sounds good for a big puffy cat. Or Buster. Or Cupcake.

    @Punchy:

    I’m pro-simplicity when it comes to pet names. John, do not listen to this man. You’ll be sorry about the tenth time you have to explain to friends and family why you named the cat ‘Polymerase.’

    Also, since when does Balloon Juice have threads about large boobs? Unless you mean ‘boob’ of the ‘half-wit pundit’ variety?

  11. 11.

    eclare

    No no and no to Mungo. It’s a ridiculous name. If it isn’t Boss, which still seemed good to me, the Dude. And yes, I’ve violated every comma law. Sue me.

  14. 14.

    FlipYrWhig

    I’m going to keep suggesting Keisel until I hear of some other Steelers fan with a long-whiskered cat who needs a name.

  15. 15.

    YellowJournalism

    @Yatsuno: Cole, if you don’t name the cat Hemingway, Yutsy will blow a gasket.

    I still vote for naming him Ernest Hemingway and calling him Ernie if it goes that direction!

  16. 16.

    Pink Snapdragon

    Those of you living in Fairfax County, Virginia (eemom, I’m looking at you) have the opportunity to attend the democratic party caucus tonight (Tuesday, July 23) that will select the party’s candidate for sheriff in the November elections. Please come and vote for Stacey Kincaid – a woman with 26 years of experience, strong community relations background and support for diversity. You can check her out at http://staceykincaid.com/.

    The caucus will be held at Woodson HS, 9525 Main St., Fairfax, in the auditorium. Use entrance 16, 17 or 18. Check-in starts at 6:30pm and doors close at 7:00, so everyone must be inside by that time. After everyone is checked in, the candidates will probably make short presentations and the vote (paper ballots) will be cast. As soon as your ballot is dropped in the box, you can leave – or stick around for the count and see who wins.

    I have never attended a caucus before, but I am looking forward to actually taking concrete steps on the local level to seek out and support good candidates that support things that I think are important.

  18. 18.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Well, if “Mr Lover Lover” is the general idea, then I’d say it’s easy: Catsanova.

    Or even just Casanova, which since it could be interpreted to mean “new house”, would have a nice hidden twist.

  19. 19.

    Rich (in Name Only) in Reno

    You left out Mungo Park (1771-1806), a Scottish Explorer of Africa, and the first Westerner to travel the River Niger. For good or ill, he wrote detailed descriptions of what he’d seen, and piqued the interest of European Governments. The Old Everyman’s Library used to have a two volume edition of his travels. I had the green bound wartime edition, now long gone, alas. They were as exciting a read as Defoe’s fiction or Burton’s Nile Exploration narratives.

    As cat name go, Mungo is acceptable. But then so’s Cuthbert.

  20. 20.

    ixnay

    Cats will learn a name. Our cats are Bill and Ted (yes, after the movie; they look like the characters), Ringo, and Noodle. They each answer (well, in a cat, “answer” is as subtle as “turns the head”) to the appropriate name.

    I’m with John: see how things look after the surgery and recovery, and he will let you know the right name. Cats are good at that.

    For some reason, our cats are usually addressed in the following fashion: “Bill-Bill” “Noodle-Noodle” — I have no idea if this is important in cat language.

  24. 24.

    NotMax

    Twenty-plus comments in and no one’s mentioned Mungo Jerry?

    Still say the cat look like a Philo to me.

    But absent that, Mr. Cole ought to consider naming him Maverick.

  25. 25.

    priscianusjr

    I’ve always loved that song, but frankly, Mungo Jerry is (going back to that same era) “one of those people your father told your sister not to go out with”. I’d have to agree with dear old dad on that one, I’d be concerned for my daughter. The whole bunch of them look about as disreputable as could be found in Britain at the time.

  26. 26.

    priscianusjr

    @NotMax: Twenty-plus comments in and no one’s mentioned Mungo Jerry?

    Odd comment. This whole thread is about Mungo Jerry, isn’t it?

  27. 27.

    Anne Laurie

    @NotMax:

    Twenty-plus comments in and no one’s mentioned Mungo Jerry?

    Did the YouTube embed at the top of my post not show up on your feed?

    (After all, the band’s named after a T.S. Eliot cat / ruffian, according to the wikipedia.)

  29. 29.

    Anne Laurie

    @NotMax: Okay, what feeder ( and/or platform) are you using? (Not that I know anything about it, but I’ll email the details to MisterMix.)

  30. 30.

    RSA

    Those of you who’ve ever had to comb out a Maine Coon cat will understand.

    The first time I combed out our Maine Coon mix, a huge gob of fur accumulated–as big as a mouse. The cat loved the process.

    In fact, I was reminded of John’s story about feeding Tunch a can of tuna (or some other human food). Our cat now wants to be combed like five times a day. He acts like it’s better than sex–not that he knows what that is.

  32. 32.

    SFAW

    @eclare:

    I still submit Bootsy, after Bootsy Collins with the great mitts.

    And a belated Happy Birthday to George Clinton! (72 yesterday.)

  33. 33.

    gogiggs

    How about Rugen, or Count Rugen after the six-fingered man in Princess Bride? Sure the character was evil, but Christopher Guest is awesome. Plus you can bother the cat by saying things like, “My name is John Cole, you scratched my couch, prepare for pets” and so forth.

    I dunno, don’t go by me. I named my cat Lucifer Sam after the Pink Floyd song, despite the fact that he isn’t a Siam cat. He is however, always sitting by my side.

  35. 35.

    Paul in KY

    @NotMax: That was one of the most bodacious pair of sideburns I’ve ever seen. If that guy had lived back in 19th century, they’d have called them ‘sidemungos’.

  36. 36.

    Paul in KY

    @RSA: Have 2 Maine Coons. You could comb them for 5 hours, get out enough hair to make a hair sculpture of a cat (life size) & then look over at the cat & it still has just as much hair as when you started.

  38. 38.

    Rex Everything

    Not a Maine coon cat but a Norwegian forest cat, which is in the same neighborhood of wooliness. The cat did NOT love the process & I have the scars to prove it.

  39. 39.

    Jay

    I’d like to add a couple other possible names: Strong Bad and Trogdor, because there are many nerds in the Balloon Juice community (a note to the rest of you: use Google).

    edit: for some reason, I like Ken Tremendous, too.

  40. 40.

    RSA

    @Paul in KY:

    You could comb them for 5 hours, get out enough hair to make a hair sculpture of a cat (life size) & then look over at the cat & it still has just as much hair as when you started.

    I forgot about that part! It’s as if you never did any combing at all. Maybe they’re evolving a new form of self-reproduction.

  42. 42.

    Paul in KY

    @RSA: Could be. Would have been a good Harry Potter joke/scene that that’s how you conjure up a new cat: Comb enough hair out, say ‘createus cattius’ & wave wand & a new cat appears!

    Ms. Rowling should hire me, have all kinds of ideas like above.

  43. 43.

    Lirpa

    When I first saw the pics of John’s newest roommate, I thought he looked like a tiger and I thought Tiger and Lily would go nicely together. But then, I thought it would be cool if the girls were flowers and the boy weeds, so call him Dandy Lion. No, can’t imagine John calling out “Dandy”!

    But what a out Kudzu? It grows on you so quickly, just like this cat did, and if you don’t keep an eye on it, it will sneak up and overtake you, just like the cat does when you lay in his room.

    Kudzu!

  45. 45.

    Epicurus

    Any votes for “Van Lingle”? Just because I think that guy had the best baseball name evahr.

  46. 46.

    BlurredLines in ATL

    Too bad “Carlos Danger” is taken.
    I just did some Googling translating “sweet” and various adjectives into other languages.
    Fresco – fresh, cool, sweet, sassy (Spanish)
    Tenero – tender, sweet, soft, fond (Italian)
    Makea – sweet, sugary, fruity (Finnish)
    But really, I think Mongo is pretty darn cute.

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