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A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

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If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Early Morning Open Thread

Early Morning Open Thread

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I walk my dogs before sunup this time of year because it’s just too damn hot to do it any other time of day. It’s 75 degrees now, but with 100% humidity.

Anyhoo, so I was herding the leashed critters through the dark front yard, which my husband planted bamboo all over to make it shady and jungle-ish the way we like it, when I ran smack into a giant, sticky web.

I didn’t actually see the spider because it was pitch black out, but I’m pretty sure it was Shelob:

Shelob

I felt something crawling on my hand, and I thought maybe it stung me as I was flailing away in a panic, but it’s possible I just imagined that. I went ahead and took the dogs on their walk as it would have been unfair to turn back before we even got past the mailbox, but the entire time, I was flinching at psychosomatic spiders.

ETA: Just saw this sad news about the passing of Doghouse Riley of Bats Left/Throws Right. Link via esteemed commenter Warren Terra in the overnight thread. If true (and the source sounds reliable), that really sucks.

Reader Interactions

54Comments

  1. 1.

    Linda

    If this is true re: Doghouse Riley, then the blog Gods pulled a fast one, taking Riley just as education reform shyster Tony Bennett was exposed as a bribe…er, contribution-taking bullshitter. Too bad.

  3. 3.

    MeDrewNotYou

    A spider? You know what you must do. Burn the house down (‘Cuz you know they’re in there too.), burn the property, and salt the earth so none of them escape. Or just dust off and nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

    As for Dog House Riley, I’ll repeat what I said in the earlier thread. He was the first Hoosier I found on the Internets that made me feel less surrounded by idiots and crazies in my home state. I really enjoyed him and I’ll miss his writing. But on the bright side, he’ll never have to see Mike Pence or Mitch Daniels ever again. That’s a pretty comforting thought.

    ETA- One last question. Anyone know what’s going on with the BJ fantasy football league? I’m looking forward to another season but haven’t heard anything. If we’re looking for a commish, I’ll do it; anything to play another season.

  4. 4.

    Doug

    Re: Doghouse Riley – I heard the news through a friend who had been a student of his “Poor Wife” and figured out Doghouse’s “secret identity”. My friend has since conferred with said wife and assured me that it’s permissible to pass along that Doghouse real name was Doug Case. Here is his obituary.

  7. 7.

    c u n d gulag

    NOT DOGHOUSE!!!
    NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Somebody better check where W’s pint-sized poodle, former Gov. Mitch Danials, was, when Doghouse passed.

    What would one more corpse mean, for anyone associated with The Bush Crime Family?

  10. 10.

    danielx

    I am crushed….Doghouse was an inspirational writer who delighted in flaying those in Our Fair State who (greatly) deserved it. He will be missed by many, if not his targets.

  13. 13.

    MazeDancer

    Very sad about Doghouse Riley. An excellent writer.

    Charles Pierce admired him, something any blogger would be proud to say.

  14. 14.

    Poopyman

    For those left wondering what catastrophe JC was blogging about last night, it was probably this:

    Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
    Speed and alcohol are thought to have played a role in a single-car crash Tuesday night that killed a Claysville teen, state police said.
    Sierra Minor, 16, was driving on Brush Run Road near the West Virginia border shortly before midnight when she lost control and slammed head-on into tree, causing the sedan to flip over once, according to a press release from state police in the Washington barracks.
    She was pronounced dead at the scene. Four passengers — ranging from 15 to 21 — suffered serious to critical injuries and were not wearing seat belts, state police said.
    Avella and West Middletown fire departments aided at the scene.

    First Published July 31, 2013 7:35 am

  16. 16.

    fka AWS

    59 is too damn young. RIP Doghouse Riley.

    ETA: And 16 is way too damn young. I hope the others in the car recover. Ugh.

  17. 17.

    Schlemizel

    I remember the time the neighbor had a banana spider in their yard. Scared the crap out of me. First time I ever saw one it had a web between the wires of a high tension line to catch birds. I would not want to get tangled up with one of those even though they are not technically poisonous.

    I tried to find a picture so the rest of you could have nightmares but apparently what I was told was a banana spider is not what google knows as one. This picture is close but a bit too small a body & too long in the leg
    http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/banana-spider

  20. 20.

    RSA

    I’m pretty sure it was Shelob.

    That’s crazy talk. It’s much more likely to have been Atlach-Nacha. You can tell the difference by whether you were left with the dread of an eldritch horror that lurked just beyond your understanding.

  21. 21.

    MeDrewNotYou

    @Betty Cracker: 15/16 is way too young to be driving IMO. I’m even leery of letting 18yr olds behind the wheel unsupervised. In my perfect world, there’s no age restriction on alcohol (we get a drinking culture like France or Germany) and driver’s licenses start at 21. Of course, in my world, things aren’t developed so that driving is essential to everything. We have great public transit!

    PS- I am not a crank! I’m not even 30, but my inner old man shines through.

    @sheldon vogt: I’m getting antsy since my friend has started setting up our league. But honestly, I don’t remember when we started the last 2 (or is it 3?) years, so maybe we’re jumping the gun.

  22. 22.

    WereBear

    Perhaps it was a Giant Crab Spider? (Caution. Big spider pic.)

    The spooky thing (and I don’t usually mind spiders) is how Florida varieties will spin giant, Shelob-sized webs overnight, so you leave the house in the dim morning hours and are re-enacting every giant spider movie of the fifties just when the coffee has not yet kicked in.

    Help meeee! Help meeeee!

  24. 24.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Very sad news about Doghouse. RIP, and condolences to his family, friends, and legions of fans.

  25. 25.

    Frankensteinbeck

    You ran into an orb web. They are very common, and can be large enough to (very rarely) be spun between trees. If you have tall plants like in Florida, or a lot of posts around, you will get very used to walking into them. To spin a web big enough for that to happen the spider can be as small as a thumbnail (barn spiders) or as big as a thumb (argiopes). I can’t tell from your description. It’s very unlikely that it bit you, but not impossible. Their fangs are very small.

    @Schlemizel:
    I’m guessing – and it’s a guess – you mean an argiope.

    @WereBear:
    Can’t be a huntsman or crab spider (not technically the same thing). They’re not web weavers. There is a very small chance of running into one dangling from a drag line, but it is an extremely small chance. They don’t like drag lines much, either.

  27. 27.

    beth

    @WereBear: We used to have them in our house in FL. They are the fastest insects I’ve ever seen. The first time I saw one run through my house I thought it was a lizard, it was that big.

  29. 29.

    Jerzy Russian

    @WereBear:

    The spooky thing (and I don’t usually mind spiders) is how Florida varieties will spin giant, Shelob-sized webs overnight, so you leave the house in the dim morning hours and are re-enacting every giant spider movie of the fifties just when the coffee has not yet kicked in.

    Here in Southern California we have similar critters (gray spiders?) that can weave huge-ass webs during the night time hours. There was one I was watching for a while that appeared to respin its web every night for a few weeks in the same spot. I don’t mind the spiders at all, expect when they spin their webs across the sidewalk by the house.

  30. 30.

    scav

    In Chicago for a few summers there were a dedicated team of greyish ones that would turn the porch stairwell into something out a classic Indiana Jones scene in an ancient temple or cave — every night. Best work always at face level.

  32. 32.

    tybee

    these things are what we call banana spiders:

    http://www.floridanature.org/species.asp?species=nephila_clavipes

    this is what we call a crab spider:
    http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://behindthebins.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/crab-spider.jpg&imgrefurl=http://behindthebins.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/wordless-wednesday-23/&h=1704&w=2272&sz=228&tbnid=nMudOgiN_tH2rM:&tbnh=76&tbnw=101&zoom=1&usg=__uGtKfuM-kGnaoDgNN5lJLP82cIo=&docid=9Hj3g0MHhSTE2M&sa=X&ei=ZRj5UeG1FIqC9gT25YDIBQ&ved=0CJIBEP4dMA8

    and those bastards definitely build webs across my paths at night.
    nothing like running into a web and feel the spider run across your face….they won’t hurt you but they’ll make you hurt yourself.

  33. 33.

    JCT

    Terrible news about Doghouse Riley — he probably helped save us from Mitch Daniels.

    Speaking of spiders I have had two similar episodes the past week . First when I went to our outside sink and must have brushed by a web. It was so stiff it actually hurt so I took a closer look and noticed two long legs sticking out of the faucet. Because I am stupid I turned on the water and a huge black widow unfolded itself from the faucet, red hourglass on it’s belly and all. AHHHHHH.

    Just last night while walking my dogs (late because it’s hot out here too) I saw a huge green toad (the monsoons bring them out). They’re poisonous, so I shooed the dogs away and took them in. I figured my kids would like a picture of the toad so I went back out through the gate. Damn, no toad. Instead? A HUGE tarantula coming towards me, biggest I have ever seen. Needless to say I screamed like a little girl (apparently loud enough to freak out the dogs) and ran inside.

    Spiders. I really don’t like them.

  34. 34.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @tybee:
    Your crab spider is an orb weaver (crab spiders are a family of hunting spiders). I thought it was a Microthena at first, but apparently it has its own genus. Neat. ‘Banana spider’ is a name given to all sorts of spiders, usually to tarantulas that live in banana trees and are shipped to America with bananas by accident. This spider everyone’s calling a ‘banana spider’ is also known as a ‘golden silk orb weaver’. It’s the largest orb weaver and the largest web weaving true (not tarantula) spider. Fun fact: The males are one tenth the female’s size, and rely on stealth to avoid cannibalism during mating. Their strategy is to climb up her leg unnoticed, mate, and sneak away without her ever knowing.

  36. 36.

    Bulworth

    “ETA: Just saw this sad news about the passing of Doghouse Riley of Bats Left/Throws Right. Link via esteemed commenter Warren Terra in the overnight thread. If true (and the source sounds reliable), that really sucks.”

    Seriously? Damn. I had just started reading him not long ago.

  39. 39.

    BGinCHI

    I am so, so sad about Doug Case. Goddamn.

    As a born, raised, and recovering Hoosier he made me proud of my clan. And that’s a necessity given the shitbags that are fucking up that state on a daily basis.

    RIP, Doghouse. Fuck you, Mitch Daniels.

  41. 41.

    Paul in KY

    @Fort Geek: Not a true ‘banana spider’ (IMO). A banana spider lives in Central/South America, is yellow like a banana, and is extremely poisonous.

  42. 42.

    StringOnAStick

    So sorry to hear of the passing of Doghouse Riley. The guy was an amazing writer.

  44. 44.

    burnspbesq

    I tended to think of Doghouse Riley as Just Another Idiot That Anne Laurie Inexplicably Loves, but he surely was a distinctive voice with something to say.

    Godspeed, Mr. Case.

  45. 45.

    DaddyJ

    Oh, dear. Gonna miss Doghouse. I hope it wasn’t Bikepath Rage that did him in.

    His nom-de-blog “Doghouse Riley” rang a distant bell, but I could never place the reference until a couple weeks ago, when we were watching The Big Sleep. It’s Marlowe feeding Carmen Sternwood a fake name for a joke.

  46. 46.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    @schrodinger’s cat: Gods, yes. Pretty much the only crawly thing that flips me out. I can’t even squash them. Have, after much effort, learned to dispose of them after the diatomaceous earth has dessicated them.

  47. 47.

    Spaghetti Lee

    Jeez, what fucking terrible news to wake up too. Him and stuck, way too young to die.

  48. 48.

    cckids

    @ellie: Why would anyone click on those links? Do you need to never sleep again?

    Pretty sure I’m never going to FL, between SYG, giant spiders & the godawful cockroach stories my sister used to tell. Do. Not. Want.

  49. 49.

    grishaxxx

    @Doug: Thanks for the link, but, oh, how terrible a loss. What a writer, with what a nose for bs [particularly the Indiana variety] !

  51. 51.

    Tehanu

    @Spaghetti Lee:
    You said it. And somehow Dick Cheney still breathes….

    @cckids:
    I really wish Betty hadn’t even posted the picture she did. I still recall sitting in my 9th-grade biology classroom and only noticing, after about half an hour, a tarantula in a glass jar not 5 feet away from me. I let out a scream they heard in the principal’s office, on the other side of the school, and raced out into the hall to hyperventilate until the teacher promised me he’d hide the jar. I still get Hubby Dearest to kill any spider larger than a quarter-inch across.

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