Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Donald Jessica Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Even though I know this is a bad idea, I’m off to do it anyway!

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Can we lighten up on the doomsday scenarios?

Shut up, hissy kitty!

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

The willow is too close to the house.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Days Since JD Vance Insulted Women Across America: Zero

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

The gop couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

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Reader Interactions

196Comments

  1. 1.

    gogol's wife

    Congratulations!

    I’m sure Dolly Parton must have some tragic-wedding songs but I can’t think of any right now.

  11. 11.

    BGinCHI

    Two John Prine duets:

    In Spite of Ourselves (w/ Iris Dement)

    Wedding Bells/Let’s Turn back the Years (w/ Lucinda)

  20. 20.

    dedc79

    I suppose it’s not a “wedding” themed song, but I always have thought that Samba Pa Ti (Carlos Santana) would make a great first dance for bride and groom. Assuming they know how to dance, that is.

  21. 21.

    lamh36

    @Doug Milhous J: you’re welcome…don’t get me started though, I was on a “wedding song” trip some years back and I literally bought every R&B wedding compilation CD out there. So I got more…lol

    The informmericals had me hooked…lol

  22. 22.

    suzanne

    Congratulations!

    My favorite, even though it is only tangentially about weddings, is the Magnetic Fields’ song The Book of Love.

    Peter Gabriel did a cover that sucks in comparison, IMHO.

  23. 23.

    ronin122

    Just be sure to have both sides of the aisle doing the same thing throughout! (And green balloons as someone else said above).

  27. 27.

    Jamey

    Laura Nyro’s version of “Wedding Bell Blues.” Written, composed, arranged, and performed when she was … 17.

    Seems whenever I hear it, someone somewhere has to start cutting onions…

  34. 34.

    scav

    @suzanne: All three, constant repeat, I’d have such trouble choosing. Although the one with Pantone 292 . . .

    Ok, I’d clearly have a non-standard wedding.

    Here’s to having the one the participants want!

  45. 45.

    Mnemosyne

    As I have said before, my one regret about our big wedding reception is that G wanted this song as our first dance and I chickened out. We totally should have done it.

    Also, too, G’s extended family has somehow developed a tradition since our wedding that the groom and his new father-in-law get up and lip-sync to the Blues Brothers version of “Sweet Home Chicago.” This is not, I must say, something that happened at ours.

  48. 48.

    raven

    @Svensker: Ah, you remembered! Did you listen to the interview with him? It’s something to have not heard someone for 47+ years and immediately recognize his voice.

  54. 54.

    Suffern ACE

    Let’s see. Lyle Lovett has both “Lights of LA County” and “I Married Her Because she Looks Like You.” But those are good songs about very bad weddings, probably not what you had in mind.

    Congratulations.

  55. 55.

    suzanne

    Mr. Suzanne and I made custom CDs as favors, because when we were first dating, we exchanged mix CDs and judged each other’s worth as a life partner by musical taste. It worked pretty well. I can’t deal with a Republican or a Nickelback fan.

    Anyway, other songs were:

    Bob Mould – See a Little Light
    Stevie Wonder – You Are The Sunshine of My Life
    R.E.M. – Be Mine
    Spiritualized – Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space (I walked down the aisle to this one)
    Bob Dylan – Make You Feel My Love (first dance song)

    Also the Lucinda Williams one, and some others that are escaping me as I sit here at work waiting for my software to update.

  58. 58.

    raven

    You’re Wanted by The Police and My Wife Thinks Your Dead/

    t’s good to see you baby it’s been a long long while
    We’re both a whole lot older and seen a lot of miles
    But thing are different now since the good ol days
    And youve been in some trouble
    Since we went our separate ways
    Well have to say hello maybe some other time instead
    Cause youre wanted by the police
    And my wife thinks youre dead.

  61. 61.

    Southern Beale

    Congrats!! If it hasn’t been mentioned yet, I always liked the Dixie Chicks’ “White Trash Wedding.”

    “You cain’t afford no riiing ….
    “You cain’t afford no riiiiiiiiing ….
    “I shouldn’t be wearin’ white and you cain’t afford no ring!”

  63. 63.

    Valdivia

    wooo hooo DougJ. Soo happy for you.
    Not necessarily a wedding song, and maybe too ‘pop’ but it somehow always touches me–The Lumineers Ho Hey. Seems apropos of the sentiments of togetherness. If not The Song of Songs, by King Solomon. ;)

  64. 64.

    suzanne

    @Southern Beale: At my second wedding, my mom asked me if she and I needed to, uh, ahem, TALK about anything. I pointed to my four-year-old daughter and assured her that I was good to go.

  69. 69.

    Svensker

    @raven:

    Ah, you remembered! Did you listen to the interview with him? It’s something to have not heard someone for 47+ years and immediately recognize his voice.

    Remembered? I was staggered. I really love that song. Would love to know what else he’s written.

    What interview? Do you have a link?

  71. 71.

    raven

    C’est La Vie – Chuck Berry

    It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished `em well
    You could see that Pierre did truly love the mademoiselle
    And now the young monsieur and madam have rung the chapel bell
    C’est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell
    They finished off an apartment with a two-room Roebuck sale
    The coolerator was jammed with TV dinners and ginger ale
    And when Pierre found work, the little money comin’ worked out well
    C’est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell
    They had a hi-fi phono, boy did they let it blast
    Seven hundred little records, all blues, rock, rhythm, and jazz
    But when the sun went down, the volume went down as well
    C’est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell
    They bought a souped-up jitney, it was a cherry red `53
    And drove it down to New Orleans to celebrate their anniversary
    It was there where Pierre was wedded to the lovely mademoiselle
    C’est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell
    They had a teenage wedding and the old folks wished `em well
    You could see that Pierre did truly love the mademoiselle
    And now the young monsieur and madam have rung the chapel bell
    C’est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell

  75. 75.

    Anya

    @Anya: How can one not love a song with these lyrics:

    Oh, our futures were written with crayons in coloring books
    It was misspelled and outside the lines and we loved how it looked
    Like the crooked hem of your favorite childhood dress
    And the holes in my jeans from years of carelessness
    I know since we’ve grown, we ache for those memories
    Honestly, nothing’s even compared to you next to me, next to me

    When the words came to you for the first time, you knew you were hooked
    And the pride that you felt at the last page of your first book
    And the bravery I forced when I sang to an audience of three
    Well, it took a million wrong notes just to find a single melody and key
    I know since we’ve grown we plea for clarity
    Honestly, nothing’s ever made sense til you were next to me, next to me

    If time is money, then I’ll spend it all for you
    I will buy you flowers with the minutes we outgrew
    I’ll turn hours into gardens, planted just for us to take
    I’ll be reckless with my days, building castles in your name

    Since we’ve grown, we long for concrete things
    Honestly, nothing’s felt so sure than when you were next to me, next to me

    So lets cut down the red tape and gather up the pieces of our youth
    Cause there’s nothing in this world we can’t fix with some scissors and glue

  77. 77.

    Shana

    @piratedan: We had that one at our wedding, also “My Wife and My Dead Wife” by Robyn Hitchcock (hubby’s second marriage). The olds looked a little confused I must admit.

  81. 81.

    raven

    @Svensker: This should play
    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/nightviewsradio/2010/02/19/interview-with-keyboardistmusician-hawk-wolinkski

    here’s a youtube of him talking about joining Rufus

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7rRUcjtec0

    Right after high school he became the keyboard player for the Shadows of Knight, a local Chicago band that had a hit with Gloria because WLS wouldn’t play Them’s version because off “she come up to my room”. By the time I got out of the Army he and another hs buddy had become The Bangor Flying Circus and then Madura. They were in Electra Glide in Blue. The also toured with Chicago and remain good friends with them.

  84. 84.

    Ruckus

    @suzanne:
    LOL

    And it sounds like something my mom would have said as well. Almost never at a loss for the wrong thing to say.

    ETA It is possible that I may have inherited a touch of that myself.

  86. 86.

    Porco Rosso

    “To keep my love alive” slays. I like Blossom Dearie or Ella’s version.

    For songs to play at a wedding you can never go wrong with You’re Just In Love sung by Louis Amstrong and Velma Middleton

  87. 87.

    Elizabelle

    More to the point:

    what names do you use for the wedding invites?

    Do you stick with those names for the ceremony too?

    How does Milhous go with her maiden name?

    CONGRATS!! Lucky both of you.

  88. 88.

    pacem appellant

    @suzanne: I was about to say that Let’s Pretend We’re Bunny Rabbits was my favorite, but Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side is also sooo good. I think I’m just going to plug in the head phones and gel the rest of the afternoon to the soothing sounds of Stephin Merritt.

  93. 93.

    geg6

    I hate weddings. Maybe White Wedding by Billy Idol. Makes a wedding sound foreboding, which is pretty much how I see them.

    But congratulations anyway, Doug!

  95. 95.

    the Conster

    Congratulations!!! It’s really nice to have someone on your team to count on. Two is better than one.

    You and I by Ingrid Michaelson
    I Say a Little Prayer For You by Aretha
    All I Want Is You from Juno.

  97. 97.

    OzarkHillbilly

    I got married in a cave. Really. The call to the ceremony was “Going to the Chapel, and I’m going to get married….”

    Hope yours is as good as mine.

  99. 99.

    scav

    Here’s a proper Magnetics one When my boy walks down the street

    Grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street
    There are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat
    Everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street
    Life just kind of dances through ya from your smile down to your feet
    Amazing he’s a whole new form of life
    Blue eyes blazing and he’s going to be my wife

  104. 104.

    OzarkHillbilly

    The man playing fiddle was the Arkansas State Champion in some year during the 80’s or 90’s. I love Alan to death and he can make that thing sing, but on that day? He made it hum…. Perfectly.

  106. 106.

    Roger Moore

    “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” isn’t really a wedding song, but it’s about falling in love and getting married. On the other end, you could try “Jackson” by Johnny Cash and June Carter.

  110. 110.

    Apocalypse Tom

    I once heard Old 97s front man Rhett Miller refer to this song as the least appropriate wedding song ever. He’s likely not far wrong in that assessment.

  111. 111.

    Ahh says fywp

    My good friend the retired gay Catholic parrish music director used to find “On Eagles’ Wings” unintentionally hilarious at weddings.

  115. 115.

    Kay

    Congratulations, DougJ. I think that’s very exciting news. I love weddings.

    Don’t get too cute with the music. You have to like it 20 years from now.

  116. 116.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @raven: Funny thing, the guys that married us (Dave, Marty, and Walter (RIP) ) (and Billy and Doug) formed the Church of Janus Karst for the specific purpose of marrying cavers in caves…. And yet, 20 some odd years later, ours was the first wedding they actually performed UNDERGROUND.

    My Brother Walter died app a yr and a half ago. Can’t tell you how happy I am that he was there for our wedding. Can’t tell you how much I miss him.

    To Walter, a Life Well Lived….

  117. 117.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Roger Moore:

    Fuck your East Coast Media Bias.

    I agree, but LA doesn’t have a pro-team. Well they used to have U$C but after last Saturday…

  126. 126.

    PurpleGirl

    Congratulations!

    Rolling Stones — Wild Horses (Couldn’t Drag Me Away). College friends used this for their first song at their reception.

  128. 128.

    eemom

    Also too, songs about weddings are a whole different category from romantic songs. The latter are more suited to actual celebration of the joyous event, imo.

    For example, somebody mentioned Richard Thompson earlier…..Dimming of the Day with his then wife Linda is a classic.

  131. 131.

    Hawes

    If you want to be happy for the rest of your life/
    Never make a pretty woman your wife/
    So from my personal point of view/
    Get an ugly girl to marry you.

  136. 136.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @raven:

    Spelunker huh?

    Cavers rescue spelunkers. (yah…. you just insulted me… S’ok, too old, too fat, don’t care.)

  137. 137.

    Hal

    I love Dusty Springfield’s version of What are you Doing for the Rest of Your Life. Then if you want to escape play 24 Hours from Tulsa.

  140. 140.

    raven

    Caving—also occasionally known as spelunking in the United States and Canada and potholing in the United Kingdom and Ireland—is the recreational pastime of exploring wild (generally non-commercial) cave systems. In contrast, speleology is the scientific study of caves and the cave environment.[1]

  141. 141.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @raven: For the record, I went to an NCRC and I have been on a couple of rescues, but after Cliff Cave, I never wanted to go on another. Pulling dead children out of a cave sucks donkey d!ck.

  143. 143.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @eemom:

    Dimming of the Day

    Alice Spencer and The Geyer Street Sheiks killed that. I fall in love with her every time I listen to it.

    Oh my fsm, I found it. Enjoy.

    Seriously, Alice is one of my favorite vocalists that nobody ever heard of. Last I heard (10 yrs ago) she was down in Austin. I miss her voice more than anyone can know.

  145. 145.

    Turgidson

    @suzanne: Walking down the aisle to maybe the best Spiritulaized song? I always thought he was singing about drugs, not a woman…because he’s always singing about drugs. But the lyrics do work for a wedding, so that’s….kinda ridiculously awesome.

    @gelfling545: That was my wife’s and my “first dance.”

    I’m a recovering audiophile and spent most of the wedding-planning time during our engagement saying I wanted our playlist at the reception to be culled from my mostly-obnoxious-indie-dork collection. I backed off when her parents hired a band that only knew the stuff everyone likes, and was satisfied to blacklist all of the ridiculous shit I hate that gets played at every other wedding. Probably for the best. The band was reallllly good, actually. They just didn’t know Kicked It In the Sun.

  146. 146.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @raven:

    speleology is the scientific study of caves and the cave environment.

    Correction: That is called “Karst Geology.”

    I really don’t care, but I do like to make fun of my compatriots who do. When I was a younger man I surveyed virgin cave on a regular basis (racked multi-miles for several years in a row). Now I watch the young boys and girls go at it and enjoy their tales of derring do and bottomless pits and trackless passages…. And every now and again, one or two try to follow in my path on a couple of passages that blow big air and they always come back with the same story:

    “I didn’t leave anything up there.”

    Nice to know they ain’t got what it takes either.

  149. 149.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @raven:

    Reminds me of tunnel rats.

    Ain’t nothing like that. I never had to worry about a “gook” waiting for me with a .45 or a grenade. Danger was there, but the cave was never actively trying to kill me. It was indifferent to my presence.

  157. 157.

    Comrade Mary

    Congrats, Doug!

    Give me the chance to dance romance
    Don’t run, I’m not the sun
    So much at stake… oh!
    Bad choice of words
    But I’m not the gun with silver bullets
    And I can count, 1, 2, 3, plus I make great peanut butter
    And jelly sandwiches… Van Helsing

  158. 158.

    Long Tooth

    A fantastic wedding song (that may already have been cited up thread) is Stevie Wonder’s ‘You and I’. One of the greatest love songs I’ve ever heard, it’s lyrics alone are especially suited for wedding days.

  159. 159.

    Summer

    My brother and sister-in-law had a pianist and banjo player play for the ceremony. They walked down the aisle as a new couple to the Beatles “Two of Us.” It was glorious.

    And they’re still married 26 years later.

  161. 161.

    aimai

    Holy shit I can’t remember what we walked down the aisle to. But it was beautiful. I think it was something to do with Tea? You for me dear, only two for tea dear, from this moment on…Wedding Pix.

  164. 164.

    sharl

    Congrats D. Milhous!

    I’m really hoping that Thoroughly Pizzled is right, but even if not, you should invite Ms. Petri to your wedding anyway. Your trolling helped make her a less naive pundit/columnist/whateverthehellsheis, and for that she at least owes you a decent wedding gift!

  167. 167.

    J R in WV

    My cousin had “Burnin’ Down the House” but I think it was at the reception.

    Congratulations! I hope it is a fairy tale romance, which when combined with hard work can produce a good marriage!

  173. 173.

    azelie

    @John Cole:

    This is probably my favorite song from the tapes (shows how long I’ve been married) my husband made to play at our reception. We had talked about most of the songs before, but he put on a few I didn’t know about. It still really gets me when I hear it.

    Also: Congratulations, DougJ!

  182. 182.

    Long Tooth

    @Summer: I’m a damn near lifelong Beatlemaniac, being 8 years old when the Fabs first played Sullivan. That is a beautiful song for a wedding. Great call by those concerned.

  184. 184.

    Di

    I so love “The Worst That Could Happen” and The Brooklyn Bridge, but most definitely adore Jimmy Webb! Thanks for reminding me. Am going to listen to BB’s version and JW’s Ten Easy Pieces now!
    And btw, many congrats!

  185. 185.

    mai naem

    Congrats Doug.
    I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned At Last by Etta James. There’s also You’re All I Need To get By by Marvin Gaye and Tami Terrell. There’s a bunch of Motown stuff. Also Louis Armstrong’s Wonderful World, The Everly Brothers Devoted to You. Lots of country music. Randy Travis’ Forever and Ever Amen, Shania Twain – From This Moment. There’s stuff by the Platters and Drifters.

  186. 186.

    mai naem

    Congrats Doug.
    I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned At Last by Etta James. There’s also You’re All I Need To get By by Marvin Gaye and Tami Terrell. There’s a bunch of Motown stuff. Also Louis Armstrong’s Wonderful World, The Everly Brothers Devoted to You. Lots of country music. Randy Travis’ Forever and Ever Amen, Shania Twain – From This Moment. There’s stuff by the Platters and Drifters. You’re the One I Want from Grease.

  189. 189.

    moderateindy

    @Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937:

    January Wedding by the Avert Bros.

    That would be the Avett Brothers, and it is a lovely song, although it’s about having to get married before the bride dies of a disease.
    Great wedding song is Springsteen’s, “If I should Fall Behind”, a song he wrote for his 2nd wife. Like the version from The Seeger Sessions. Works perfectly as a first dance as it is reworked as a waltz. Even white guys can fake a waltz. Here’s a great live version from that tour in Milan. After the song ends the crowd continues singing along.
    http://youtu.be/9OCnm6cdZvQ

  190. 190.

    moh

    Congratulations! I second The Two of Us by the Beatles – fabulous. And Mai Naem’s suggestions sound great. I would add: Claudette, by the Everly Brothers. I discovered it on a Greatest Hits album of theirs years ago and it still knocks me out. High energy and full of love. I played it our reception in 1984.
    @aimai – I think you’re talking about From This Moment On by Cole Porter. Oh, now there’s a rich vein to mine …

  191. 191.

    PIGL

    Maybe the prettiest love song I have heard in ever:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDK9idTB5xs

    And according to the comments, several people have walked down the aisle to it allready…and it’s not exactly on Billboard. Just recent videosong by the amazing Lauren O’Connell….who I discovered, come to think on it, thanks to Mistermix.

  192. 192.

    otmar

    I gave a copy of the Oysterband’s “Blood Wedding” to the DJ at my own wedding. (which might be a good thing for some of the relatives …)

    Too bad most of the party couldn’t understand the lyrics.

  194. 194.

    xenos

    Congrats, DougJ! After all the suggestions I am at a loss for anything to add, but sincerely wishing you and the future sposa all happiness.

  195. 195.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @jon: That was one of the one’s I was going to post. Congrats by the way, Doug!

    You know what they say, you don’t know what true happiness is until you get married, and then it’s too late.

    Also, I was listening to XTC’s excellent Skylarking album this morning, and found another somewhat ambivalent wedding song: “Big Day.”

    And this is not exactly a wedding song, but “Our Way to Fall” by Yo La Tengo may be the best happy ending indie rock love song of all time. The list of happy ending indie rock love songs is pretty short, but I’d put that at the top of the list.

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