A uniquely perfect gun nut metaphor –> RT @TPM: Guy reaches for wallet, ends up shooting himself in the butt: http://t.co/Kh34dHuWD0
— billmon (@billmon1) December 30, 2013
According to the original article, only ‘minor injuries’ (his wife drove him to the hospital) but I suppose that doesn’t preclude brain damage in this case…
Yatsuno
I wouldn’t bet money on it no.
greennotGreen
I don’t often shop at Home Depot, but I’ve never found it to be particularly threatening; wonder why he thought he needed to be armed?
Wag
@greennotGreen:
Well, Home Depot is known to be friendly to the geys , so a fella can’t be too careful.
J.D. Rhoades
@greennotGreen:
These people are always afraid.
Higgs Boson's Mate
He stood his ground against his own ass.
AliceBlue
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
I think this thread has a winner. Well done!
KG
@Yatsuno: brain damage would probably be a preexisting condition in this case
MomSense
@efgoldman:
This can’t be serious. Obama is going to pretend to communicate with aliens to improve his poll numbers???
jl
I’m tired to ignorant liberals, who don’t know anything about guns, or real life, trying to comment on all American he-man patriot stuff.
This liberal billmon calls it a gun, implying a long gun. It was a pistol.
And, maybe the guy was trying to rob himself. Huh? What about that?
And if that is the case, then it is due to this person’s wise compassionate he-manly patriotic restraint with himself that the injuries were minor.
Bill E Pilgrim
Just goes to show, when you’re talking out of your behind you have to be even more careful about shootin’ your mouth off.
Gex
There’s this weird contradiction in the gun nuts’ story, one of many for sure. Generally they argue guns are completely safe to own and keep in your house and around your children. But then when one of these “responsible” gun owners does something like this, we are supposed to believe that guns just fire if you so much as make contact with them or bump them. I mean, isn’t the pulling-the-trigger action quite different from the pulling-out-the-wallet action? Suddenly, the gun just fires super easy, even if you don’t intend to fire it. But just before this, he’d have told you how utterly safe it is to carry his gun like that.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@MomSense:
The problem with telling your followers that your opponent is capable of anything is that the crazies start to come out of the woodwork. Remember a few years ago when a woman testified in front of Georgia’s legislature that the CIA had implanted chips in her body so therefore they should ban anyone from doing that … and the Georgia legislature listened to her and promptly passed the law?
jl
@MomSense:
” This can’t be serious. Obama is going to pretend to communicate with aliens to improve his poll numbers??? ”
Ever since the Weekly World News went to hell, it’s been very difficult to keep up with the news on the Presidential space alien advisers. I liked the pics, since I wanted to size them up, to figure whether they came from a Good planet or an Evil planet.
Karen in GA
@Bill E Pilgrim:
Bravo.
Karen in GA
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Yeah, but Georgia.
jl
@efgoldman: That is sad. The journalist should have done some research. For example, if you bunk in concrete, you need some cardboard or rags between the sleeping bag and and ‘crete. Homeless guy in L.A. explained that to me once, quite a few years ago.
Mandalay
@Gex:
Exactly. Guns are perfectly safe in your house, but apparently they automagically become dangerous at gun shows.
Go figure.
Mike in NC
True story: have heard wingnuts talk about having concealed carry laws apply to golf courses.
In NC, you can now pretty much lug a gun anyplace: bars, parks, schools, malls, airports, etc. unless a business owner objects.
MattF
He had his head up his ass in order to keep an eye on his wallet. And the gun and wallet were in the same rear pocket in order to protect himself from gay molestation. I think that about covers it, except for those probing mooslim aliens.
GregB
@jl:
I think we should demand the same rigorous standards on wingnuts when discussing other matters. Unless they know the intricate minutiae of women’s health they can’t discuss abortion. Unless they have an advanced economics degree they can’t discuss the debt and only when they have had same sex relations can they discuss gay issues.
Well, from what we know, most of the virulent ones have probably accomplished that last task.
Bill E Pilgrim
@Mike in NC: Oh great.
So will they still do that polite clapping after an exchange of gunfire?
I can’t wait for movies like “Golf Clap at the OK Corral”
burnspbesq
Who knew that concealed-carry laws were about concealing anything resembling sentience.
MomSense
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
@jl:
CIA implanted chips and alien advisers — OH MY! Good thing ObamaCare provides excellent mental health benefits.
Mandalay
@Mike in NC:
Except the NRA Convention in Charlotte, though I suspect the NRA planned it that way. It keeps their members mad with the government, and avoids the risk of the media having a meltdown if there is any embarrassing accidental gunfire.
Ruckus
@KG:
Even if it wasn’t a pre-existing condition, which I’m sure it was, when someone with their head up their ass shoots themselves in the ass, hitting the brain is quite possible, except for the obvious size of said target. I’m going to assume for his sake that he was at HD to purchase a sharpening instrument for said brain as he was, I’m pretty sure, not the sharpest tool in the box.
mclaren
Was his name burnspbesq?
Suffern ACE
Never carry anything in my back pocket. Too easy for pickpockets. I find that a moronic place to keep a gun. A pickpocket would want that, too.
That said, I hope we have contacted aliens. But I’m pissed that someone took them to Obama. Sensible thing to do when aliens ask to be taken to your leader is send them someone closer to the 99%.
different-church-lady
You can’t win a Darwin Award if you’re still alive. Think about it.
srv
@efgoldman: The National Enquirer had pics of George HW and Teh Grey meeting at the White House, where they handed over the laser scanner technology that he was so enthralled with:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0fIhnboptk
The X-Files was a series to ready the public for aliens and the New World Order, and they’ll use UFO’s at the UN base at Groom Lake.
SatanicPanic
This thread is full of win. I got nothin except to say that this guy now has a story to tell while sitting on park benches
Suffern ACE
@different-church-lady: until cloning technology advances, simple sterilization will work just as well as death.
Narcissus
For the rest of time you can win an argument with this guy by saying “Hey, remember that time you shot your ass off?”
Liberty60
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
I’m sure his ass was just asking for it.
different-church-lady
@Suffern ACE: Hmmm… good point. I don’t know what the trustees of the Darwins will think, but on principle your view is sound.
Little Boots
merka
Villago Delenda Est
If this doofus shot himself in the head, it would have made no difference, really.
Villago Delenda Est
@MomSense:
The teahadis are this fucking stupid. Count on it.
Little Boots
some people are a bit harsh.
Little Boots
@Little Boots:
never me, of course. except in a mood.
Bill E Pilgrim
This is obviously just the Southern version of cheek piercing.
TaMara (BHF)
Guns don’t shoot asses, asses shoot asses.
Little Boots
@TaMara (BHF):
donkey death is a horrible thing.
JoyfulA
@Mike in NC: We stopped in North Carolina to have dinner at a bragged-about barbecue restaurant. At we approached the steps, a man came down the steps in full leather Harley gear with a holstered gun on his hip. We considered leaving, but HE was headed to the parking lot, so we tiptoed into the restaurant.
I’ve never seen anyone toting a gun who wasn’t law enforcement or going hunting, and it freaked me out.
Since then, we take our meals in Virginia.
Little Boots
@JoyfulA:
but ummm, the barbeque?
Suffern ACE
@MomSense: no. But we should probably have a pool on the date that 1) a congressman brings up aliens on the floor of the house and calls for investigations and 2) the date a MSM journalist asks Carney for answers. I go with August 12 and September 19 2014, respectively.
Jay
I’m surprised no one has hit on this lovely sequence from the film Training Day yet.
Suffern ACE
The Aliens, of course, will claim to come in peice. But in reality they will breed an army of super administrators from the best of the best of past Darwin Award Winners and appoint them rulers of an increasingly deteriorating and ineffective d
Little Boots
@Suffern ACE:
stop reading hitchikers guide.
Debbie(aussie)
@efgoldman:
Thank you so much for that? Laughter is the best medicine. And I needed something to ease the pain.
JoyfulA
@Little Boots: Average, if you like the NC vinegar-style barbecue.
Amir Khalid
It seems that you must have a right to carry a gun wherever you like, even where common sense says you shouldn’t. But you must be under no duty to carry it safely, because such a duty would constrain that sacred right.
Are there jurisdictions in America that expect carry-permit holders to know about gun safety, and revoke carry permits for safety violations?
Little Boots
@Debbie(aussie):
sorry you’re in pain.
hope you’re okay.
? Martin
Protip to HS students: If you are a member of your Academic Decathlon team, don’t misspell both ‘Academic’ and ‘Decathlon’.
Spaghetti Lee
@efgoldman:
I’m actually in favor of the-government-is-covering-up-the-alien-invasion conspiracies. Nice and retro, you know? Lots of good B-fiction comes from that well. Or at least I’d rather listen to that than some garble about taxes or abortion.
Suffern ACE
@? Martin: how sure are you that Akademic Dekathalawn isn’t the trademarked proper name of the competition?
Amir Khalid
@efgoldman:
I’d like to see the FBI come out with a statement: “Agents Mulder and Scully investigated these allegations years ago, and their report concluded there was no supporting evidence.”
Old Dan and Little Ann
@SatanicPanic: One of my favorite movies ever. My wife hates it. So it goes.
Little Boots
@Spaghetti Lee:
plus, magic energy.
bite me, saudi arabia!
Spaghetti Lee
My family drove down to Tampa from Chicago for New Years to see some relatives. Two twelve-hour days each way, split between four people. Not enough time out of the car to glean cultural observations about the South (never lived there) except to say that Tallahassee to Tampa Florida State Route 19 at night is like being stranded in the outback: I think I saw two dozen buildings in maybe a hundred miles. Also, Montgomery and Tallahassee might be the two ugliest, most depressing decent-sized cities I’ve ever seen. I used to take a train right through downtown St. Louis often, but hell, at least they have interesting historic buildings to look at. Aside from that, 1,200 miles from one suburban area to another, and the only visual tell was the plant life. And starting back on New Years Day.
smedley the uncertain
@Amir Khalid: From the article, “…no charges filed…” What about reckless endangerment? Those around him were endangered by this cretins mishandling of a weapon.
Splitting Image
@efgoldman:
I can buy the idea that the White House has been in contact with space aliens, but the guy goes on to say that Obama will get troops from Canada to help quell the rioting. C’mon. Even people who believe in little green men from Mars know Canada has no troops to send.
Origuy
@different-church-lady:
You can if you render yourself unable to reproduce, e.g. shooting off your testicles. The Darwin awards are for removing yourself from the gene pool.
The Dangerman
@Origuy:
Oh, we had quite a bit pooling in his jeans, I’m sure.
Little Boots
@Origuy:
choices.
Liquid
Concealed carry aside does it ever occur to these guys that walking around with a gun on your hip gives me the initiative? I mean if I were ever going to rob a store you’re the first person I’m taking out.
Total non-sequitur but who the fuck puts a reflex scope on a double-barreled shotgun? Why not go all the way and throw a laser sight on there? Rainbow Six does not represent real life.
Little Boots
@Liquid:
somthing tells me these people are not thinking it through.
Little Boots
on the other hand, can we dance in the moonlight:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMc8naeeSS8
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@Origuy:
IIRC, it was just last year that the winner or runner-up did just that by using a live .22 round as a stop-gap fuse to keep his headlights on.
Little Boots
who would you love to dance with in the moonlight?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMc8naeeSS8
Liquid
@Little Boots: The Devil?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gfMXEmCew4
Little Boots
@Liquid:
you have clearly come to the right place.
Fred
@Splitting Image: Mounties. The RCMP will save the day and wump them Green Mens little green butts, you bet!
Fred
In reference to dude shootin’ his own ass off: I don’t know much about small arms but as I understand it the weapon would have had to have a round in the chamber and be cocked (with safety off, but of course) while stuffed in his back pocket. I mean, really? There’s stoopid but this guy is barely sentient.
Original Lee
@efgoldman: Wow. So the aliens knew Obama was going to be President back in the 80s and established a relationship so that he could give the world a clue in 2014 and prop up his poll numbers? Just wow.
Original Lee
@Original Lee: Plus I missed the bit about the Canadian Army being brought in to quell the riots. I guess our Reserve units would be rioting, too? Or is this part of the One World Domination (led by Europe) that the wingnuts get so upset about?
J R in WV
@Amir Khalid:
Yes. There’s even a test to get a permit, that includes safety procedures. You might not guess it though, with all the accidents reported. I think there are so many permit holders and gun owners that there will always be accidents, just as a statistical requirement.
The last time I went to a range with a friend down in Raleigh, the range business had a test you took to be sure you would handle your weapon safely in their firing range. It was a pretty good test too.
This was private industry, of course, trying to control their insurance costs. It is possible to do serious damage to your hand if you don’t hold a semi-automatic pistol correctly, which they don’t want to see happen on their range, just for one thing.
I don’t know about revoking a permit in the case of an accident, I doubt you would lose the permit unless you were convicted (pled guilty) to a weapons crime.
Alex Milstein
The defense of this guy will be something like: ‘Well, he didn’t hurt anyone but himself, so no problem here.’ And still, Toby Keith gets vilified when he bans guns from his restaurant…’cos what problems could there be with guns in a bar?