• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

“Look, it’s not against the rules anywhere, but a black woman with power was dating and there has to be something wrong with that.”

The choice is between normal and crazy.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Fight them, without becoming them!

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Books are my comfort food!

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

Mobile Menu

  • Four Directions Montana
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2024 Elections
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Gun Issues / Gun nuts / Open Thread: Today’s Darwin Award

Open Thread: Today’s Darwin Award

by Anne Laurie|  December 30, 201310:44 pm| 77 Comments

This post is in: Gun nuts, Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

A uniquely perfect gun nut metaphor –> RT @TPM: Guy reaches for wallet, ends up shooting himself in the butt: http://t.co/Kh34dHuWD0

— billmon (@billmon1) December 30, 2013

According to the original article, only ‘minor injuries’ (his wife drove him to the hospital) but I suppose that doesn’t preclude brain damage in this case…

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « An Actual Present (Open Thread)
Next Post: Late Night Horror Show: They Are Not Dead That Can Eternal Lie »

Reader Interactions

77Comments

  1. 1.

    Yatsuno

    December 30, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    I suppose that doesn’t preclude brain damage in this case

    I wouldn’t bet money on it no.

  2. 2.

    greennotGreen

    December 30, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    I don’t often shop at Home Depot, but I’ve never found it to be particularly threatening; wonder why he thought he needed to be armed?

  3. 3.

    Wag

    December 30, 2013 at 10:55 pm

    @greennotGreen:

    Well, Home Depot is known to be friendly to the geys , so a fella can’t be too careful.

  4. 4.

    J.D. Rhoades

    December 30, 2013 at 10:55 pm

    @greennotGreen:

    These people are always afraid.

  5. 5.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    December 30, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    He stood his ground against his own ass.

  6. 6.

    AliceBlue

    December 30, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    I think this thread has a winner. Well done!

  7. 7.

    KG

    December 30, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    @Yatsuno: brain damage would probably be a preexisting condition in this case

  8. 8.

    MomSense

    December 30, 2013 at 11:06 pm

    @efgoldman:

    This can’t be serious. Obama is going to pretend to communicate with aliens to improve his poll numbers???

  9. 9.

    jl

    December 30, 2013 at 11:12 pm

    I’m tired to ignorant liberals, who don’t know anything about guns, or real life, trying to comment on all American he-man patriot stuff.

    This liberal billmon calls it a gun, implying a long gun. It was a pistol.

    And, maybe the guy was trying to rob himself. Huh? What about that?

    And if that is the case, then it is due to this person’s wise compassionate he-manly patriotic restraint with himself that the injuries were minor.

  10. 10.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    December 30, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    Just goes to show, when you’re talking out of your behind you have to be even more careful about shootin’ your mouth off.

  11. 11.

    Gex

    December 30, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    There’s this weird contradiction in the gun nuts’ story, one of many for sure. Generally they argue guns are completely safe to own and keep in your house and around your children. But then when one of these “responsible” gun owners does something like this, we are supposed to believe that guns just fire if you so much as make contact with them or bump them. I mean, isn’t the pulling-the-trigger action quite different from the pulling-out-the-wallet action? Suddenly, the gun just fires super easy, even if you don’t intend to fire it. But just before this, he’d have told you how utterly safe it is to carry his gun like that.

  12. 12.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 30, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    @MomSense:

    The problem with telling your followers that your opponent is capable of anything is that the crazies start to come out of the woodwork. Remember a few years ago when a woman testified in front of Georgia’s legislature that the CIA had implanted chips in her body so therefore they should ban anyone from doing that … and the Georgia legislature listened to her and promptly passed the law?

  13. 13.

    jl

    December 30, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    @MomSense:

    ” This can’t be serious. Obama is going to pretend to communicate with aliens to improve his poll numbers??? ”

    Ever since the Weekly World News went to hell, it’s been very difficult to keep up with the news on the Presidential space alien advisers. I liked the pics, since I wanted to size them up, to figure whether they came from a Good planet or an Evil planet.

  14. 14.

    Karen in GA

    December 30, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    Just goes to show, when you’re talking out of your behind you have to be even more careful about shootin your mouth off.

    Bravo.

  15. 15.

    Karen in GA

    December 30, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): Yeah, but Georgia.

  16. 16.

    jl

    December 30, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    @efgoldman: That is sad. The journalist should have done some research. For example, if you bunk in concrete, you need some cardboard or rags between the sleeping bag and and ‘crete. Homeless guy in L.A. explained that to me once, quite a few years ago.

  17. 17.

    Mandalay

    December 30, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    @Gex:

    There’s this weird contradiction in the gun nuts’ story, one of many for sure. Generally they argue guns are completely safe to own and keep in your house and around your children.

    Exactly. Guns are perfectly safe in your house, but apparently they automagically become dangerous at gun shows.

    Go figure.

  18. 18.

    Mike in NC

    December 30, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    True story: have heard wingnuts talk about having concealed carry laws apply to golf courses.

    In NC, you can now pretty much lug a gun anyplace: bars, parks, schools, malls, airports, etc. unless a business owner objects.

  19. 19.

    MattF

    December 30, 2013 at 11:26 pm

    He had his head up his ass in order to keep an eye on his wallet. And the gun and wallet were in the same rear pocket in order to protect himself from gay molestation. I think that about covers it, except for those probing mooslim aliens.

  20. 20.

    GregB

    December 30, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    @jl:

    I think we should demand the same rigorous standards on wingnuts when discussing other matters. Unless they know the intricate minutiae of women’s health they can’t discuss abortion. Unless they have an advanced economics degree they can’t discuss the debt and only when they have had same sex relations can they discuss gay issues.

    Well, from what we know, most of the virulent ones have probably accomplished that last task.

  21. 21.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    December 30, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    @Mike in NC: Oh great.

    So will they still do that polite clapping after an exchange of gunfire?

    I can’t wait for movies like “Golf Clap at the OK Corral”

  22. 22.

    burnspbesq

    December 30, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    Who knew that concealed-carry laws were about concealing anything resembling sentience.

  23. 23.

    MomSense

    December 30, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):
    @jl:

    CIA implanted chips and alien advisers — OH MY! Good thing ObamaCare provides excellent mental health benefits.

  24. 24.

    Mandalay

    December 30, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    In NC, you can now pretty much lug a gun anyplace: bars, parks, schools, malls, airports, etc. unless a business owner objects.

    Except the NRA Convention in Charlotte, though I suspect the NRA planned it that way. It keeps their members mad with the government, and avoids the risk of the media having a meltdown if there is any embarrassing accidental gunfire.

  25. 25.

    Ruckus

    December 30, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    @KG:
    Even if it wasn’t a pre-existing condition, which I’m sure it was, when someone with their head up their ass shoots themselves in the ass, hitting the brain is quite possible, except for the obvious size of said target. I’m going to assume for his sake that he was at HD to purchase a sharpening instrument for said brain as he was, I’m pretty sure, not the sharpest tool in the box.

  26. 26.

    mclaren

    December 30, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    Was his name burnspbesq?

  27. 27.

    Suffern ACE

    December 30, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    Never carry anything in my back pocket. Too easy for pickpockets. I find that a moronic place to keep a gun. A pickpocket would want that, too.

    That said, I hope we have contacted aliens. But I’m pissed that someone took them to Obama. Sensible thing to do when aliens ask to be taken to your leader is send them someone closer to the 99%.

  28. 28.

    different-church-lady

    December 30, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    You can’t win a Darwin Award if you’re still alive. Think about it.

  29. 29.

    srv

    December 30, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    @efgoldman: The National Enquirer had pics of George HW and Teh Grey meeting at the White House, where they handed over the laser scanner technology that he was so enthralled with:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0fIhnboptk

    The X-Files was a series to ready the public for aliens and the New World Order, and they’ll use UFO’s at the UN base at Groom Lake.

  30. 30.

    SatanicPanic

    December 30, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    This thread is full of win. I got nothin except to say that this guy now has a story to tell while sitting on park benches

    Lyndon B. Johnson: America owes you a debt of gratitude, son. Now I understand you were wounded. Where were you hit?
    Forrest Gump: In the buttocks.

  31. 31.

    Suffern ACE

    December 30, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    @different-church-lady: until cloning technology advances, simple sterilization will work just as well as death.

  32. 32.

    Narcissus

    December 30, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    For the rest of time you can win an argument with this guy by saying “Hey, remember that time you shot your ass off?”

  33. 33.

    Liberty60

    December 30, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    I’m sure his ass was just asking for it.

  34. 34.

    different-church-lady

    December 30, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    @Suffern ACE: Hmmm… good point. I don’t know what the trustees of the Darwins will think, but on principle your view is sound.

  35. 35.

    Little Boots

    December 30, 2013 at 11:52 pm

    merka

  36. 36.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 30, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    If this doofus shot himself in the head, it would have made no difference, really.

  37. 37.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 30, 2013 at 11:56 pm

    @MomSense:

    The teahadis are this fucking stupid. Count on it.

  38. 38.

    Little Boots

    December 30, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    some people are a bit harsh.

  39. 39.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 12:06 am

    @Little Boots:

    never me, of course. except in a mood.

  40. 40.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    December 31, 2013 at 12:08 am

    This is obviously just the Southern version of cheek piercing.

  41. 41.

    TaMara (BHF)

    December 31, 2013 at 12:11 am

    Guns don’t shoot asses, asses shoot asses.

  42. 42.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 12:13 am

    @TaMara (BHF):

    donkey death is a horrible thing.

  43. 43.

    JoyfulA

    December 31, 2013 at 12:14 am

    @Mike in NC: We stopped in North Carolina to have dinner at a bragged-about barbecue restaurant. At we approached the steps, a man came down the steps in full leather Harley gear with a holstered gun on his hip. We considered leaving, but HE was headed to the parking lot, so we tiptoed into the restaurant.

    I’ve never seen anyone toting a gun who wasn’t law enforcement or going hunting, and it freaked me out.

    Since then, we take our meals in Virginia.

  44. 44.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 12:15 am

    @JoyfulA:

    but ummm, the barbeque?

  45. 45.

    Suffern ACE

    December 31, 2013 at 12:18 am

    @MomSense: no. But we should probably have a pool on the date that 1) a congressman brings up aliens on the floor of the house and calls for investigations and 2) the date a MSM journalist asks Carney for answers. I go with August 12 and September 19 2014, respectively.

  46. 46.

    Jay

    December 31, 2013 at 12:22 am

    I’m surprised no one has hit on this lovely sequence from the film Training Day yet.

  47. 47.

    Suffern ACE

    December 31, 2013 at 12:23 am

    The Aliens, of course, will claim to come in peice. But in reality they will breed an army of super administrators from the best of the best of past Darwin Award Winners and appoint them rulers of an increasingly deteriorating and ineffective d

  48. 48.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 12:23 am

    @Suffern ACE:

    stop reading hitchikers guide.

  49. 49.

    Debbie(aussie)

    December 31, 2013 at 12:29 am

    @efgoldman:

    Thank you so much for that? Laughter is the best medicine. And I needed something to ease the pain.

  50. 50.

    JoyfulA

    December 31, 2013 at 12:31 am

    @Little Boots: Average, if you like the NC vinegar-style barbecue.

  51. 51.

    Amir Khalid

    December 31, 2013 at 12:33 am

    It seems that you must have a right to carry a gun wherever you like, even where common sense says you shouldn’t. But you must be under no duty to carry it safely, because such a duty would constrain that sacred right.

    Are there jurisdictions in America that expect carry-permit holders to know about gun safety, and revoke carry permits for safety violations?

  52. 52.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 12:33 am

    @Debbie(aussie):

    sorry you’re in pain.

    hope you’re okay.

  53. 53.

    ? Martin

    December 31, 2013 at 12:35 am

    Protip to HS students: If you are a member of your Academic Decathlon team, don’t misspell both ‘Academic’ and ‘Decathlon’.

  54. 54.

    Spaghetti Lee

    December 31, 2013 at 12:40 am

    @efgoldman:

    I’m actually in favor of the-government-is-covering-up-the-alien-invasion conspiracies. Nice and retro, you know? Lots of good B-fiction comes from that well. Or at least I’d rather listen to that than some garble about taxes or abortion.

  55. 55.

    Suffern ACE

    December 31, 2013 at 12:41 am

    @? Martin: how sure are you that Akademic Dekathalawn isn’t the trademarked proper name of the competition?

  56. 56.

    Amir Khalid

    December 31, 2013 at 12:42 am

    @efgoldman:
    I’d like to see the FBI come out with a statement: “Agents Mulder and Scully investigated these allegations years ago, and their report concluded there was no supporting evidence.”

  57. 57.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    December 31, 2013 at 12:42 am

    @SatanicPanic: One of my favorite movies ever. My wife hates it. So it goes.

  58. 58.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 12:43 am

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    plus, magic energy.

    bite me, saudi arabia!

  59. 59.

    Spaghetti Lee

    December 31, 2013 at 12:56 am

    My family drove down to Tampa from Chicago for New Years to see some relatives. Two twelve-hour days each way, split between four people. Not enough time out of the car to glean cultural observations about the South (never lived there) except to say that Tallahassee to Tampa Florida State Route 19 at night is like being stranded in the outback: I think I saw two dozen buildings in maybe a hundred miles. Also, Montgomery and Tallahassee might be the two ugliest, most depressing decent-sized cities I’ve ever seen. I used to take a train right through downtown St. Louis often, but hell, at least they have interesting historic buildings to look at. Aside from that, 1,200 miles from one suburban area to another, and the only visual tell was the plant life. And starting back on New Years Day.

  60. 60.

    smedley the uncertain

    December 31, 2013 at 12:56 am

    @Amir Khalid: From the article, “…no charges filed…” What about reckless endangerment? Those around him were endangered by this cretins mishandling of a weapon.

  61. 61.

    Splitting Image

    December 31, 2013 at 12:59 am

    @efgoldman:

    What we’re going to see soon is an unveiling of the concept that we have in fact been contacted by and have been in communication with people from other civilizations beyond earth and that will be part of the great deception that is forthcoming soon from Mr. Obama

    I can buy the idea that the White House has been in contact with space aliens, but the guy goes on to say that Obama will get troops from Canada to help quell the rioting. C’mon. Even people who believe in little green men from Mars know Canada has no troops to send.

  62. 62.

    Origuy

    December 31, 2013 at 1:02 am

    @different-church-lady:

    You can’t win a Darwin Award if you’re still alive.

    You can if you render yourself unable to reproduce, e.g. shooting off your testicles. The Darwin awards are for removing yourself from the gene pool.

  63. 63.

    The Dangerman

    December 31, 2013 at 1:12 am

    @Origuy:

    ….removing yourself from the gene pool.

    Oh, we had quite a bit pooling in his jeans, I’m sure.

  64. 64.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 1:19 am

    @Origuy:

    choices.

  65. 65.

    Liquid

    December 31, 2013 at 1:25 am

    Concealed carry aside does it ever occur to these guys that walking around with a gun on your hip gives me the initiative? I mean if I were ever going to rob a store you’re the first person I’m taking out.

    Total non-sequitur but who the fuck puts a reflex scope on a double-barreled shotgun? Why not go all the way and throw a laser sight on there? Rainbow Six does not represent real life.

  66. 66.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 1:26 am

    @Liquid:

    somthing tells me these people are not thinking it through.

  67. 67.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 1:27 am

    on the other hand, can we dance in the moonlight:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMc8naeeSS8

  68. 68.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    December 31, 2013 at 1:28 am

    @Origuy:

    IIRC, it was just last year that the winner or runner-up did just that by using a live .22 round as a stop-gap fuse to keep his headlights on.

  69. 69.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 1:37 am

    who would you love to dance with in the moonlight?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMc8naeeSS8

  70. 70.

    Liquid

    December 31, 2013 at 1:41 am

    @Little Boots: The Devil?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gfMXEmCew4

  71. 71.

    Little Boots

    December 31, 2013 at 1:42 am

    @Liquid:

    you have clearly come to the right place.

  72. 72.

    Fred

    December 31, 2013 at 6:02 am

    @Splitting Image: Mounties. The RCMP will save the day and wump them Green Mens little green butts, you bet!

  73. 73.

    Fred

    December 31, 2013 at 6:15 am

    In reference to dude shootin’ his own ass off: I don’t know much about small arms but as I understand it the weapon would have had to have a round in the chamber and be cocked (with safety off, but of course) while stuffed in his back pocket. I mean, really? There’s stoopid but this guy is barely sentient.

  74. 74.

    Original Lee

    December 31, 2013 at 9:01 am

    @efgoldman: Wow. So the aliens knew Obama was going to be President back in the 80s and established a relationship so that he could give the world a clue in 2014 and prop up his poll numbers? Just wow.

  75. 75.

    Original Lee

    December 31, 2013 at 10:29 am

    @Original Lee: Plus I missed the bit about the Canadian Army being brought in to quell the riots. I guess our Reserve units would be rioting, too? Or is this part of the One World Domination (led by Europe) that the wingnuts get so upset about?

  76. 76.

    J R in WV

    December 31, 2013 at 10:59 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    Yes. There’s even a test to get a permit, that includes safety procedures. You might not guess it though, with all the accidents reported. I think there are so many permit holders and gun owners that there will always be accidents, just as a statistical requirement.

    The last time I went to a range with a friend down in Raleigh, the range business had a test you took to be sure you would handle your weapon safely in their firing range. It was a pretty good test too.

    This was private industry, of course, trying to control their insurance costs. It is possible to do serious damage to your hand if you don’t hold a semi-automatic pistol correctly, which they don’t want to see happen on their range, just for one thing.

    I don’t know about revoking a permit in the case of an accident, I doubt you would lose the permit unless you were convicted (pled guilty) to a weapons crime.

  77. 77.

    Alex Milstein

    December 31, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    The defense of this guy will be something like: ‘Well, he didn’t hurt anyone but himself, so no problem here.’ And still, Toby Keith gets vilified when he bans guns from his restaurant…’cos what problems could there be with guns in a bar?

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • Ksmiami on War for Ukraine Day 782: If the Opposite of Pro Is Con, Then the Opposite of Progress is a GOP Majority in Congress (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:23pm)
  • Frankensteinbeck on Monday Evening Open Thread: Another ‘Rich’ Narcissist, Having A Bad Start to His Week (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:23pm)
  • SiubhanDuinne on Monday Evening Open Thread: Another ‘Rich’ Narcissist, Having A Bad Start to His Week (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:22pm)
  • Adam L Silverman on War for Ukraine Day 782: If the Opposite of Pro Is Con, Then the Opposite of Progress is a GOP Majority in Congress (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:21pm)
  • HumboldtBlue on Monday Evening Open Thread: Another ‘Rich’ Narcissist, Having A Bad Start to His Week (Apr 15, 2024 @ 9:18pm)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Talk of Meetups – Meetup Planning
Proposed BJ meetups list from frosty

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8
Virginia House Races
Four Directions – Montana
Worker Power AZ
Four Directions – Arizona
Four Directions – Nevada

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
Positive Climate News
War in Ukraine
Cole’s “Stories from the Road”
Classified Documents Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Political Action 2024

Postcard Writing Information

Balloon Juice for Four Directions AZ

Donate

Balloon Juice for Four Directions NV

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2024 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!