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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / And We’re Off With a Bang

And We’re Off With a Bang

by John Cole|  January 1, 20159:07 am| 64 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Steve bitching for breakfast at 5:45 am. Rosie won’t get out of bed to potty so I am going to have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn’t vengeance shit on the carpet because I didn’t let her out the moment she decided to get out of bed. Damn JRT’s. Lily is hurt because she can’t sit on my lap while I am at the desktop so I am going to have to do some relational maintenance involving belly rubs and lullabies.

2015 seems a helluva lot like 2014- up too early and being bossed around by pets, each in their own special way.

Also, it was one of those super cold cloudless nights. When I woke up, the wind was whipping and you could just feel the cold go straight to your bone, but the sky was almost glowing from the stars. Those were the worst nights in the army- you knew as soon as the clouds dissipated it was just going to get cold as hell. It’s actually worse than being rained on because everything on a tank is cold hard steel.

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Reader Interactions

64Comments

  1. 1.

    raven

    January 1, 2015 at 9:10 am

    I remember climbing in the back of a duece and a half in Korea when we were in the field during the winter. I quickly learned you were warmer on the ground with a poncho down on the snow and in your down bag. The steel bed up off the ground was nowhere to be.

  2. 2.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 1, 2015 at 9:18 am

    Happy New Year, John! How about treating us to some pictures of Steve and the piglets? Maybe I’ve just missed them, but it feels as though we haven’t seen any new photos in forever.

    Thanks!

  3. 3.

    kdaug

    January 1, 2015 at 9:20 am

    Yep. Same story here. The little monster wants to go out, but I ain’t going out in the rain. Hell, the sun isn’t even fully up yet. She’s going to have to hold up, and I get to listen to her “talk” until we go.

  4. 4.

    Betty Cracker

    January 1, 2015 at 9:21 am

    “Vengeance Shit” would make a good band name. Happy New Year!

  5. 5.

    Glidwrith

    January 1, 2015 at 9:21 am

    Of our four new hermit crabs, three had gone under to molt, then the fourth a week later. Three reappeared after about 3 weeks but not one of the first three. We were getting worried we were too late in getting them into a good crabitat. I am happy to report the fourth has emerged. Yea!

    ETA – and happy New Year to all. I seldom am somewhere that I can comment, but I lurked incessantly. Best to everyone for a glorious year!

  6. 6.

    the Conster

    January 1, 2015 at 9:27 am

    Happy new year to you too, Grumpy McGrumperson. Here on the shores of the Mighty Kennebec it’s 24 and clear with no snow cover. Heading over to Cappys in Camden later for either clam or haddock chowda to start the year off right, if we can get theah from heah, ahyup.

  7. 7.

    Amir Khalid

    January 1, 2015 at 9:29 am

    I know cats sometimes do vengeance shit (Bianca’s done it a time or two, the little darling) but do dogs often express a grievance in that fashion?

  8. 8.

    WereBear

    January 1, 2015 at 9:30 am

    I’m not going out today if I can help it. Snow coming straight down when it’s not blowing around.

    Though I love the snow, it’s best after it’s all plowed.

  9. 9.

    OzarkHillbilly

    January 1, 2015 at 9:31 am

    The mornings I always hated the most were the cold ones after the snow and ice came thru. Climbing around on ice covered trusses is not for the faint of heart. Plus, flattening a half frozen thumb with a 24 oz framing hammer HURTS!

  10. 10.

    Violet

    January 1, 2015 at 9:33 am

    Happy New Year, John and everyone. Who doesn’t occasionally wish they could take a vengeance shit? Rosie’s livin’ the dream, man.

  11. 11.

    kdaug

    January 1, 2015 at 9:34 am

    @Amir Khalid: Mine will do a sympathetic stress shit – if I’m wound up about something, she’ll “forget” the rules. Really helps with the stress.

  12. 12.

    donnah

    January 1, 2015 at 9:34 am

    The holidays are over for me. My middle son was here for almost two weeks, visiting from Charlotte. He left an hour ago, driving seven hours to get home. It’s like a light went out here and it always makes me sad when he goes.

    Cold and clear here in SW Ohio, too. Today the tree and trimmings all come down, the fridge gets cleaned out, and stuff gets packed away. I hate the post-holiday season. I pin too much on the holidays every year, and the end is always tough for me.

    Hope the Balloon Juicers have a great start to 2015! I am going to work through the sadness and get myself in gear for a busy year.

  13. 13.

    Amir Khalid

    January 1, 2015 at 9:35 am

    @Violet:
    Come to that, how often do humans take a vengeance shit?

  14. 14.

    Svensker

    January 1, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Don’t use lemon oil, Cole. It makes stuff sticky and attracts dust and dirt so it has to be cleaned more often. Murphy’s Oil Soap is good, but it doesn’t leave a polish.

    Happy New Year!

  15. 15.

    Schlemazel

    January 1, 2015 at 9:39 am

    Its warmed up to 21 here this morning. thats nearly 30 degrees warmer than yesterday.
    BIL had a couple of rottweilers & my wife was playing fetch with them one time. The one stole the tennis ball from the other & was playing keep away so my wife took the ball from her & gave it to the other one. The first one looked straight at her & peed all over the place. I think the message was clear.

  16. 16.

    OzarkHillbilly

    January 1, 2015 at 9:39 am

    @Amir Khalid: My bowels take it out on me several times a day.

  17. 17.

    Violet

    January 1, 2015 at 9:41 am

    @Amir Khalid: If they leave flaming sacks of shit on someone’s lawn?

  18. 18.

    GregB

    January 1, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Happy New Year.

    Don’t drink and drive.

    Don’t sleep and puke.

    Leave Steve Scalise alone!

  19. 19.

    WereBear

    January 1, 2015 at 9:44 am

    I was about to ask why Rosie can’t be dragged outside, but I guess that just ups the chances… later.

  20. 20.

    Amir Khalid

    January 1, 2015 at 9:45 am

    I ask because it seems to be a common ambition here to take a revenge piss on Dick Cheney’s grave, should he ever be human enough to die.

  21. 21.

    Schlemazel

    January 1, 2015 at 9:46 am

    @Amir Khalid:
    as if on queue, todays “F Minus”
    http://assets.amuniversal.com/744b74c06a500132b735005056a9545d

  22. 22.

    OzarkHillbilly

    January 1, 2015 at 9:49 am

    @Amir Khalid: Not me. I am going to dump my cat’s litter box on his grave so that every feral feline in Wyoming will pay him a visit.

  23. 23.

    gene108

    January 1, 2015 at 9:58 am

    I think I will catch a 10:50 am showing of the The Hobbit movie. It will force me to take a shower, get dressed and not only get out of bed, but get out of the house today.

    Otherwise, I could lie in bed all day…

  24. 24.

    Ken

    January 1, 2015 at 9:58 am

    In fairness to the pets, they can’t read the calendar so they don’t know they’re supposed to resolve to change their lives. They’re probably better off than us, since they won’t disappoint themselves by failing to follow through.

  25. 25.

    rikyrah

    January 1, 2015 at 10:09 am

    The sun is actually out this morning-which is a rare occurrence.
    Happy New Year Everyone.

  26. 26.

    Amir Khalid

    January 1, 2015 at 10:24 am

    @gene108:
    Will you be watching in high frame rate 3D? That’s how I saw it, and I think it looks fine. HFR 3D looks very different from analog film, but to my eyes not any worse. People just need to get used to it, that’s all.

  27. 27.

    Gvg

    January 1, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Chilly 53 this morning in n florida. temp dropped yesterday. It was much nicer Tuesday. I will stay in bed till I have to get up. this evening I have to pack up the kid to my parents to spend the night as I have to work tomorrow and he doesn’t have school so he gets a play date at cousins. the commute from here would involve me getting up at about 430 am, thus the sleepover at parents. we need to move into town.
    I hated cold and snow when we lived in Oklahoma for a year. Florida has gotten crowded in my lifetime so it’s good most people don’t feel the same way but it puzzles me. short haired dog has stayed in fuzzy bed most of the week. I need to sew a large nest bed.

  28. 28.

    El Tiburon

    January 1, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Impressive how you can veer from ‘potty’ to ‘shit’ so effortlessly. If never I would have had children (the human kind) me thinks I never would ever utter the word ‘potty’ under any circumstance. Even so, I prefer ‘poop’ to ‘potty’ when referencing my two legged family mates.

    Otherwise, I give you a laurel and hardy and Nelson “HA HA!!”

  29. 29.

    formernap

    January 1, 2015 at 10:49 am

    First time commenter, long time reader. 2014 brought much …oddness. my sister-in-law died of cancer, which she steadfastly refused to acknowledge. Seriously–she would not admit that she was ill at all while it was clear to everone that she was dying. My husband’s only sibling.
    but our kitties are well, and I enjoy my work, and family finances ate sort of okay, so what the hell do I have to complain about? Bring it on 2015!!!

  30. 30.

    Betty Cracker

    January 1, 2015 at 10:53 am

    @Amir Khalid: The spawn and I were debating that when we saw The Hobbit in HFR 3D last week (with our Amir-inspired modified 3D specs!). I think not only do viewers have to get used to the new technologies, but so do prop and costume makers. Sometimes it seemed like a low-budget, live-action production by local TV.

  31. 31.

    mai naem mobile

    January 1, 2015 at 10:55 am

    @Amir Khalid: Grover Norquist has been doing it for decades because his schoolmates made fun of his pompous prickiness.

  32. 32.

    Violet

    January 1, 2015 at 10:55 am

    I live in a construction zone. They’re working today like they did on Christmas and Thanksgiving. The trucks tear up lawns and hit fences and block driveways. I’ve been in the office of and yelled at the builder for one of them so much he gave me the site manager’s phone number so he can deal with them right away. The entire neighborhood is sick of these people.

  33. 33.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 11:09 am

    @raven:
    Sleeping next to the hull, below the waterline, of a tin can in the winter above the Arctic Circle with one military wool blanket had about the same effect. Freeze parts that we all know should not get that cold. They just shouldn’t.

  34. 34.

    Roger Moore

    January 1, 2015 at 11:10 am

    @Violet:

    Who doesn’t occasionally wish they could take a vengeance shit?

    Certainly not Chuck C. Johnson!

  35. 35.

    Elmo

    January 1, 2015 at 11:12 am

    The holidays began for me on Xmas eve, with a five day weekend and finally starting to watch the new Dr Who series, which my wife adores and I never started.

    We have been watching pretty much nonstop, and should finish Season 7 today or tomorrow. I spent that entire 5 day weekend in the basement, in my pajamas, watching ep after ep and gorging on Honey Baked Ham and popcorn.

    Best. Christmas. EVER.

  36. 36.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 11:22 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:
    That’s good but I believe that if it could be arranged that the line of humans standing in line to defaecate in one way or another on his grave would be so long, appointments would have to be given out. Tractors and large dump trucks would have to be utilized to haul it away and WY would reek for decades. He’d finally be a job creator.

  37. 37.

    phoebes-in-santa fe

    January 1, 2015 at 11:23 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yes, Cole. Please resolve to show more pictures of the animals. Maybe have a side bar where you can post new pictures and we can click on them. Happy New Year to all.

  38. 38.

    shelley

    January 1, 2015 at 11:24 am

    And here I thought it was Lily who was the bed potato. Yes, agree, a few pet pics are overdue.
    **********
    Always hated being on the road on New Year’s Eve, so hunkered down with a little bit of champers and watched ‘Hard Day’s Night’ on TCM. I was 8 when I saw it in the theaters. Yikes!

  39. 39.

    Amir Khalid

    January 1, 2015 at 11:38 am

    @Betty Cracker:
    That much is true. There had to be a similar adjustment when TV went from PAL/NTSC to high-def, as I remember. Then there’s 4K coming along (twice the resolution, vertically and horizontally) and just up-scaling the picture looks terrible, so I hear.

  40. 40.

    Roger Moore

    January 1, 2015 at 11:38 am

    @Ruckus:
    I’ve always assumed that he wants to be buried in an undisclosed location so he doesn’t have to worry.

  41. 41.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 11:42 am

    @Violet:
    Someone is making them work on thanksgiving and xmas? They are going to take that out on someone.

  42. 42.

    raven

    January 1, 2015 at 11:43 am

    @Ruckus: Must respect to the Atlantic sailors!

  43. 43.

    Nicole

    January 1, 2015 at 11:47 am

    We had friends over for karaoke last night. Great night with everyone unafraid to join in, though we were all humbled by my husband and a friend (both of whom can sing) dueting on “Suddenly Seymour.” Today lots of hydration and cleaning up the mess.

  44. 44.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 11:47 am

    @Roger Moore:
    Sooner or later, someone finds out and then it’s off to the…. races isn’t the right word, although I’d bet that many would want to be at the front of the line.
    Airlines, hotel and chill palaces would be great business to be in.

  45. 45.

    chopper

    January 1, 2015 at 11:51 am

    NYD is also the daughter’s birthday (the big 6). Luckily I’m not at all hungover. Unluckily it’s because my sister visited the other day and may have had the flu and I’ve felt like crap.

    I’ve always had the immune system from hell, so I’m going to be calling in the reserves on this one.

  46. 46.

    Violet

    January 1, 2015 at 11:51 am

    @Ruckus: They take it out on us, the neighbors, for sure. Some of the guys have been nice but a lot have been asshats. There is so much construction in the neighborhood that there are times you can’t drive down the street for all the workers’ vehicles and larger delivery trucks parked on either side.

    They have blocked my next door neighbor’s driveway multiple times. She’ll need to go to work and can’t get out of her driveway. She’ll go find them and ask them to move and they just shrug their shoulders and look at her. I told her to call the cops on them next time because it’s against traffic regulations to park blocking someone’s driveway.

  47. 47.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 11:53 am

    @raven:
    There is cold in the Pacific as well, but not as many ships go into those areas. And the southern oceans, I hear that’s even worse. I’ve seen the ocean at the southern tip of New Zealand and that’s not a place I’d want to be in winter.

  48. 48.

    raven

    January 1, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    @Ruckus: I didn’t really think much about it because my dad spent his 4 years going up from the Canal to Okinawa. After he died I talked to one of his shipmates and he said “thank god we were not in the Atlantic”. Then I read the “Battle of the Atlantic” and had a better picture of what he meant.

  49. 49.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    @Violet:
    What are they constructing?
    Problem with complaining is that the asshats just dig in and do what they can to make it worse. Problem with not complaining is they just do whatever the hell they want anyway.

  50. 50.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    @raven:
    It can be a bitch just being there in winter. Fighting a ship to ship battle or chasing subs would be worse. A sub could go against the swells and you’d get thrown around badly trying to follow them and then be out on deck dropping depth charges? I’ve heard stories of guys having to go out on deck with fire axes to chop ice to keep the ship from getting top heavy and rolling over. Someone asked what would happen if they fell in while ship to ship refueling. The answer was that by the time the ship did an emergency breakaway and turned around and got to the man, if they could even see him, he would have frozen to death. It wouldn’t be a rescue, it would be a recovery.

    ETA One hand for the ship, one hand for yourself.

  51. 51.

    Howard Beale IV

    January 1, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    @Amir Khalid: You’d guess wrong: TV up-scaling does a damn good job. My cigar bar has a 4K set, and the TV’s upscaling is incredible. My home set is a Panasonic plasma. There’s no comparison at all. The 4K TV just wipes the floor.

  52. 52.

    Violet

    January 1, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    @Ruckus:

    What are they constructing?

    Houses and related stuff–driveways, fences, etc.

  53. 53.

    Roger Moore

    January 1, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Sooner or later, someone finds out and then it’s off to the…. races isn’t the right word, although I’d bet that many would want to be at the front of the line.

    I think it’s off to the runs rather than off to the races.

  54. 54.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    @Roger Moore:
    I didn’t want to go too far with all this talk of shitting on darth’s grave.

  55. 55.

    gelfling545

    January 1, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    Getting very excited about the arrival of my pug & something probably small mix puppy in 2 weeks. I got pics from her foster mom & have been “squee”ing all morning. Flora is black with some white markings on chest & paws & her features seem a bit sharper than the usual pug but body shape is pug-like. Her mom is pretty certainly a purebred pug but dad is an unknown quantity. I can hardly wait see her as my house has been way too quiet since Snarla passed on (or as my grandson says, “changed into starlight.”)

  56. 56.

    burnspbesq

    January 1, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    In which three county clerks in Florida take a pre-emptive vengeance shit on teh gheys.

    http://jacksonville.com/news/florida/2014-12-31/story/duval-clay-baker-counties-end-courthouse-weddings-avoid-marrying-gays

  57. 57.

    gene108

    January 1, 2015 at 1:21 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Will you be watching in high frame rate 3D? That’s how I saw it, and I think it looks fine. HFR 3D looks very different from analog film, but to my eyes not any worse. People just need to get used to it, that’s all.

    I don’t know yet, as I failed miserably on the “getting out of bed” part of the day…

    Next point of motivation, visit nephew, who turns 20 today…

  58. 58.

    MomSense

    January 1, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    I have a hypothesis about CGI, 3D, special effects generally and that is that they fail if too realistic. Maybe it is my theater background, but I think audiences go to a movie wanting to suspend disbelief. Our imaginations are infinitely better than the best CGI and when we can meet the special effects half way with our own imaginations, the result will be much better.

  59. 59.

    kc

    January 1, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    I’m starting the new year without a hangover, which is a refreshing change for me. Being very slothful, though.

  60. 60.

    wasabi gasp

    January 1, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    And We’re Off With a Bang

    Happy new year, you hairy-palmed studmuffin.

    Also, the +0 thing you’ve been rockin’ for some time now is very impressive. All the best as you embark on your new skinnybones adventure. Arrivederci, chubby.

  61. 61.

    grandpa john

    January 1, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    @Ruckus: Charge a fee and apply it to paying off the debt created by his rewarding his cronies with huge no bid contracts

  62. 62.

    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)

    January 1, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    One of the nice things about being in So Cal is that the first broadcast of the Rose Parade is commercial-free on local TV, so I DVR’d it so we could sleep in and I’m watching it now. The opening was actually really funny since they had kids with drums interrupt some remarks by the Rose Parade’s president.

  63. 63.

    Singular

    January 1, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    Happy new year John. I hope 2015 brings you lots of good things.

  64. 64.

    Ruckus

    January 1, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    @grandpa john:
    Have to pay for shit twice? Not sure about that. Pay for the trials for whatever laws have been broken? Now that I could get behind.

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