Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The jury literally has a bell they can ring to force Trump to show up on command. Greatest thing ever!

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself. We’re allowed to grow past that.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

When the time comes to make an endorsement, the pain of NYT editors will be palpable as they reluctantly whisper “Biden.”

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

We’re not going back!

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

The frogs are rarely mistaken.

No Justins, No Peace

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Please don’t feed the bears.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / WTF Kind of Shit is Going on Here?

WTF Kind of Shit is Going on Here?

by | 220 Comments

This post is in: 

Busy all day and come back and the inmates are running the asylum.

Saw Blue Man Group, which was fun, then popped 60 bucks into one of those gaming machine things and hit for 1600, so that was cool.

You people behave.

*** Update ***

Talk about missing the lede. I forgot to mention that after I hit the jackpot, I was sitting there waiting for an attendant to cash out, and the waitress came by and I ordered a diet coke. She came back, I took a sip, and immediately tasted the demon rum and spit it back into the glass and looked at her with what I imagine was an accusatory look of shock and betrayal- “THERE’S BOOZE IN THAT!” She looked at it, and said something about how the straw was supposed to indicate it was just diet coke, and I told her straight up “I’m an alcoholic, and there is definitely booze in that. Just trust me on this one.”

Apparently the bartender fucked up. So, for the first time in a long time booze touched my lips, but it didn’t make it any farther than that. Good thing it was me and not some poor other sap, cuz that kind of shit could lead to a bender for someone. As soon as I tasted it I could feel the old familiar warm in my chest rushing up to my cheeks, and I swear my vision become more acute, even though I didn’t swallow. In this case, it may have been just the memory or my adrenaline that kicked in when I realized what had happened.

I felt bad I barked at her and just had a bunch of cash handed to me, so I gave a her a 20 and said I was sorry and then beat a hasty retreat out of the casino, because I don’t want to give them any money back.

And by the way. I’m fucking proud of myself. That was a big test, and I learned a valuable lesson. I’m drinking from a can or bottle I watch opened from now on.

Reader Interactions

220Comments

  1. 1.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    Damn, you really got the hang of the Vegas thing!

    Did you say how you liked Lotus of Siam? Sorry if I missed it. I can look it up if I know it’s there to be found.

  7. 7.

    Morzer

    popped 60 bucks into one of those gaming machine things and hit for 1600

    Yet another betrayal by Obama.

  8. 8.

    Amir Khalid

    I just saw this, from Salon. Ted Cruz is apparently using Senate sessions to shoot a remake of Mr Smith Goes To Washington.

  9. 9.

    srv

    Canada is over, they will fold to ISIS:

    OTTAWA—For a young country, Canada’s getting pretty old.

    For the first time in Canada’s history, there are more people aged 65 and older than children under the age of 15, Statistics Canada reported Tuesday.

    The federal agency reported that nearly one in six Canadians — approximately 5.78 million — were at least 65 years old on July 1, 2015. The population under the age of 15 came in at 5.75 million.

  10. 10.

    Death Panel Truck

    Two years ago today my wife and I adopted a black and tan cocker spaniel. Chico (pronounced “Chicko” in honor of Chico Marx) sits in my lap while we watch TV at night. Eventually he rolls over onto his back, and I rub his belly.

    Tonight I said to him, “So do you still like it here after two years?” He leaned up and licked my nose, and I took that to mean yes.

  18. 18.

    Morzer

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne):

    I’ll tell you honestly, I am feeling an intense desire to rip off Jason Chaffetz’ micro-penis and slowly beat him to death with it. I watched the footage of him badgering and harassing Cecile Richards with his fake chart and felt utter contempt for the greasy little parasite.

    Really, if I didn’t joke about the crazy stuff these days, I think I’d just go slowly mad contemplating the intense, boorish stupidity of the ignorant largely white male mob that elects Republicans to office.

  19. 19.

    Morzer

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne):

    I’ll tell you honestly, I am feeling an intense desire to rip off Jason Chaffetz’ micro-pe.nis and slowly beat him to death with it. I watched the footage of him badgering and harassing Cecile Richards with his fake chart and felt utter contempt for the greasy little parasite.

    Really, if I didn’t joke about the crazy stuff these days, I think I’d just go slowly mad contemplating the intense, boorish stupidity of the ignorant largely white male mob that elects Republicans to office.

  20. 20.

    Goblue72

    a) Really glad you were able to be the one in control and walk away. And (b) really kinda sad that your disease is such that you won’t be able to enjoy the taste of a glass of finely aged Bordeaux with a grilled steak. I’d go insane if I had to give up wine.

  21. 21.

    John Revolta

    Hmm. So, a big winner just happened to accidentally get some booze that he didn’t order, huh?

    It’s a good thing I’m not the suspicious type.

  25. 25.

    Goblue72

    @Morzer: Speaking of micropenis, if you want an adult-sized laugh, watch The Overnight – indie comedy with Jason Schwartzman, Adam Scott (Parks & Recreation)and Taylor Schilling (Orange is the New Black). Couples comedy about a hipster dinner party that goes sideways. And involves a (prosthetic) micropenis.

  27. 27.

    Goblue72

    @BGinCHI: Hookers & blow is the traditional purchase with Vegas winnings but Cole has a touch of the Liberace to his personality so I’m thinking rhinestone collars for Lily and the rest of the brood?

  28. 28.

    Morzer

    @BGinCHI:

    An elaborate allegorical portrait of Joe Manchin being raised to heaven by Jesus, George Washington and some sporting hero from that neck of the woods.

  32. 32.

    Jewish Steel

    That was a big test, and I learned a valuable lesson.

    The Last Temptation Of JC.

    I know how this one ends. Sorry!

  34. 34.

    BGinCHI

    @Jewish Steel: Is it his fault his ranch (house) is called “Golgotha”?

    In all honesty, I can see him slipping on a wet floor and accidentally crucifying himself.

  35. 35.

    BGinCHI

    @Jewish Steel: Also, can you do me a favor and drive to Springfield and slap the fucking grin off Rauner’s face?

    Not sure you know but we are in Norway for this academic year. I can’t even bear to read IL political news right now for fear of my blood pressure and murderous rage.

  36. 36.

    Morzer

    @Jewish Steel:

    Just when you thought you had seen everything:

    http://gawker.com/kim-davis-lawyer-pope-francis-thanked-kim-for-her-cou-1733718133

    According to a lengthy press release put out by Kim Davis’ attorney, the Pope squeezed some time into his busy schedule last week for a one-on-one meeting with everyone’s least favorite (and notably non-Catholic!) county clerk, Kim Davis. During which, the Pope reportedly thanked Kim “for her courage” and told her to “stay strong.”

    I am only surprised that the whole “event” didn’t take place amid hymns chanted by a choir of flying pigs. Perhaps they were all busy providing face-time services to David Cameron.

  39. 39.

    amk

    rejecting booze. not tripping over slot machines. making money.

    ok, what you have done with the real cole? proof of life is needed.

  40. 40.

    Amir Khalid

    @Morzer:
    Well, Obama isn’t Catholic either, and he met the Pope.

    Seriously, it doesn’t seem plausible that the Pope would involve himself in this matter, however tangentially — certainly not on a state visit to the US. I’d want to see the selfie Kim took with the Pope before I believed this story.

  44. 44.

    Morzer

    @Amir Khalid:

    Her lawyers have just been forced to admit that pictures of massed supporters of “Kim” in Peru were fakes. I’d have trouble taking a Kim-Frankie selfie seriously.

  46. 46.

    Morzer

    @BGinCHI:

    Cole’s life is a comic strip

    I now have visions of John Cole as part of a burlesque act in some Weimar Republic-themed club in WV.

  48. 48.

    magurakurin

    @Goblue72:

    what an ignorant thing to say. Here’s the fucking deal, those of us who don’t drink anymore. We don’t fucking want to. We don’t feel any sadness or bitterness or longing for some overpriced glass of wine. We’re over it. Knock yourself out with your precious wine or ale or single malt or whatever is. It’s all good. But don’t think for a minute we are the least bit envious or jealous. We can drink it if we wanted to…we don’t fucking want to. So, we don’t miss it.

  49. 49.

    Morzer

    @BGinCHI:

    We should begin production of key-chains and cute figures of animals immediately. One day WV will be known throughout the world as the home of a new art form and critics will queue up to call Cole “Maestro” and kiss him on both cheeks.

  51. 51.

    sm*t cl*de

    @Morzer:

    During which, the Pope reportedly thanked Kim “for her courage” and told her to “stay strong.”

    Gosh, should we believe an attorney who boasts that the purported meeting was arranged under a mutual vow of secrecy which he is breaking on the first opportunity? An attorney who tells us that his solemn word is worth sh!t?

  53. 53.

    BGinCHI

    @Morzer: Cottage industry. I should have seen this a long time ago.

    Cole action figure.

    Miniature replica of his town.

    Stuffed animals of his animals.

    John Cole Brand mustard.

  54. 54.

    magurakurin

    @BGinCHI: It’s not a sense of humor thing. He talked about some great sadness in his life if there was no wine, implying that such a sadness extended to everyone. It fucking doesn’t. I generally don’t make any comments at all about drinking. I hang out with some mates who are brutally heavy drinkers at it is all smiles and jokes and laughs. But they respect me enough and know me well enough to never say something like “don’t you just wish you could have a sip.” In my 26 years of sobriety I have suffered all sorts of ignorant comments extolling me to just have a little, but I just keep quiet. But this just set me off with it’s ignorance.

    Whatever. I got more of a sense a humor in my left toe than most people. There was just nothing humorous at all in the comment. Only rank ignorance.

  57. 57.

    BGinCHI

    @magurakurin: I hear you. And sometimes it’s good to just let it fly and tell people they are being fucking stupid and insensitive. But I honestly don’t think his/her comment was meant to be mean-spirited (no pun intended).

    For the record, I’m a drinker who hates drunks.

  59. 59.

    Morzer

    @magurakurin:

    Come on now. The comment about Liberace refers specifically to his taste for rhinestones, not to his sexuality. I can see why you weren’t thrilled about the lament for lost wines, but let’s not start assuming that everything people say here has to be taken in the worst possible way.

  62. 62.

    Morzer

    @kdaug:

    I am starting to imagine a TV series set in a city where all the lawyers have been disbarred and the only people willing to represent them in court are Mafia hitmen.

  63. 63.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @Morzer: I could only watch a little of that today, it was so nasty. Being able to come here and laugh and commiserate is the only thing that distracts me enough to keep me from raging all the damned time.

  66. 66.

    gene108

    @Goblue72:

    a) Really glad you were able to be the one in control and walk away. And (b) really kinda sad that your disease is such that you won’t be able to enjoy the taste of a glass of finely aged Bordeaux with a grilled steak. I’d go insane if I had to give up wine.

    You adjust.

    I gave up alcohol because it interfered with some meds I am on 12 years ago.

  68. 68.

    BGinCHI

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne): All those fuckers are auditioning for either a role as Laader of the right wing mob or Paid TV Personality of the right wing mob.

    There needs to be a phrase stronger than Bad Faith for these people. They have no belief in the thing they are supposed to be arguing for.

    Nihilism, really, but even that is an empty word compared to their actual selves.

  69. 69.

    Morzer

    @gene108:

    I barely drink these days – I last had a beer about a year ago with my father-in-law. I don’t miss it, but then I was never a naturally heavy drinker, which is just dumb luck. Madame Morzer has a stash of all sorts of strange bottles and liquors that I look at in amazement.

  73. 73.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @BGinCHI: Yes, they wanted a show trial but it was obviously a witch hunt. She remained remarkably calm during the constant interruptions, but I couldn’t take much of it.

    As for punchable faces, Trey Gowdy was much laughed about today when everyone noticed that he looks like a grown up version of Malfoy.

  74. 74.

    gene108

    @BGinCHI:

    I was personally shocked to find out he was gay. Growing up, I never would have figured it out. He kept his sexual orientation well hidden.

    A wonderful performer, who brought classical music to the masses.

  77. 77.

    Morzer

    @gene108:

    Speaking of bringing classical music to the masses, I had a bit of a surprise when I went to Sapporo, because they have a statue of Leonard Bernstein in the middle of Nakajima Park. It seems he founded the Pacific Music Festival back around 1990 and was duly honored. They also have a nice area of abstract art pieces, which are genuinely thoughtful and a cut above the stuffed sharks and unmade beds that seem to constitute “art” these days in the west.

  78. 78.

    Punchy

    Just returned from the Blue Mountains and 3 Sisters. F#ckin incredible. Had no idea Australia had terrain that majestic…just stunning.

  79. 79.

    BGinCHI

    The Liberace movie done by Soderbergh with Michael Douglas and Matt Damon was really terrific. So sad, but really great stuff.

  81. 81.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @Morzer: I don’t drink very often and when I do it’s usually just a half glass maybe once a month. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes II, so there were a lot of things I stopped doing as often, but also in 2005 I was treated for Hep C and you absolutely can not drink with the meds I was on, because your liver is made even more vulnerable during treatment, so I got out of the habit of drinking with a meal, which was never that much to start with.

  82. 82.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @gene108: All of the dear little old ladies I knew just adored him, and were so shocked at the hints of who he really was in private life after he died. I loved to watch him, could not imagine how he could play with all of those fat rings on his fingers. I have a BA in Music and can’t play if I’m wearing even a small ring. Just too distracting.

  87. 87.

    theotherwa

    Congratulations, JC, you hit the jackpot twice! The cash, and the quick response to being served alcohol you didn’t ask for. You should be very proud of yourself.

    And leaving the casino after getting the money was the BEST decision you could have made.

  88. 88.

    Morzer

    @BGinCHI:

    The Indianapolis Star has learned that the surprise resignation came after a sexually explicit video was sent via text message from McMillin’s cell phone. It’s unclear who sent the text or how broadly it was distributed.

    The Brookville Republican sent a separate text message apologizing to his contacts for “anything offensive” they may have received after he said he lost control of his cell phone.
    …
    McMillin said in a text message last week, “My phone was stolen in Canada and out of my control for about 24 hours. I have just been able to reactivate it under my control. Please disregard any messages you received recently. I am truly sorry for anything offensive you may have received.”

    http://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2015/09/29/state-rep-jud-mcmillin-resigns/73040942/

  93. 93.

    John Cole

    I can’t leave you all alone for even a few hours before there is rampant speculation about what kind of trouble I am in and an inevitable fight amongst yourselves. What am I going to do with you kids?

  94. 94.

    Morzer

    @John Cole:

    What am I going to do with you kids?

    Double our allowances, daddy. And halve the subscription price as well, ’cause the rent is too damned high.

  97. 97.

    Keith G

    @Morzer: Great link! At the end of the article, one can find this gem:

    It’s also the second sex-related scandal to rock the Indiana House this year. Rep. Justin Moed, D-Indianapolis, apologized earlier this year after a website exposed his sexting activities with Indiana porn star Sydney Leathers

    Although, I was disappointing upon Googling said porn star and not finding a nerdy guy in chaps.

  98. 98.

    BGinCHI

    Come on, Cole, answer the question. What are you going to do with that loot you took out of the NV Schools Fund?

  99. 99.

    Patricia Kayden

    Nice to hear, John, that you are winning your battle against alcoholism. Cheers!

    Would love to go to Vegas one of these days although I don’t gamble.

  100. 100.

    BGinCHI

    @Morzer: From what I know, yes. It’s podunk down there, though really pretty and historically interesting.

    They likely have a redneck empire.

  101. 101.

    sm*t cl*de

    @Punchy:

    Blue Mountains and 3 Sisters. F#ckin incredible. Had no idea Australia had terrain that majestic…just stunning.

    I hear you. The scenery up there is just insane. Amazing what you can do with a big budget lots of sandstone and umpteen million years of undisturbed erosion. Did you walk the staircase down into the valley?

  102. 102.

    sm*t cl*de

    @Morzer:

    Gosh, we’ve finally found a use for Scalia! This is turning into quite a day.

    Ah, so one of the judges solves cases by making analogies to characters from TV series.

  103. 103.

    SFAW

    @Morzer:

    Maybe he was just hiking the Rocky Mountains trail.

    Work on your geography, OK.

    EVERYONE knows he crossed the Indiana/Canadia border, to go moose-tipping or some such.

  104. 104.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne): From glancing at Rachel Maddow’s show this morning, it appears that things didn’t go very well for the Republicans as Ms. Richards was able to stand her ground during yesterday’s inquisition. Good to know.

  105. 105.

    raven

    It’s happened to me twice in 21 years. Once at my idiot half brother and his tea baggin bitch wife’s wedding. The whole family was in a bar in Tempe after the deed was done and someone put a drink on the bar that looked just like my water. The other was at a party where there were 3 liters what I thought was russian soda. It wasn’t. Spit em both out and drove on.

  106. 106.

    SFAW

    @BGinCHI:

    Forget about it, Morzer, it’s Indiana.

    Does that mean McMillin was caught with his daughter? (SLAP)
    His sister? (SLAP)
    His daughter? (SLAP)

    Actually, take out the fucked-up stuff, but leave the slaps in. Preferably with metal gauntlets.

  108. 108.

    Pie Happens (opiejeanne)

    @Patricia Kayden: I did not watch long enough to get to that point. I admired her attempts to answer the questions without losing her cool, I would have been screaming at them by about the third interruption, but the whole thing made me sick and angry.

    It’s a little after 3am. I nodded off for a couple of hours, and then the house alarm woke us up; a glitch in the system caused it to announce that a door or window had been opened, which wasn’t true. We managed to get it to stop beeping at us, the “door open” message went away after some fiddling with it, and luckily it didn’t call the cops. now I’m not sleepy.

  111. 111.

    Anne Laurie

    @Patricia Kayden:

    Would love to go to Vegas one of these days although I don’t gamble.

    They sent the Spousal Unit there for a work conference, and he finagled enough free time to take a helicopter trip over the Grand Canyon.

    None of his cellphone pics through the window came out (surprise) but it remains one of his favorite travel memories.

  119. 119.

    Schlemazel

    @raven:
    Sort of like how they handled the lies about Clinton? “Well,maybe it’s not true but it’s the sort of thing you know they do”

  120. 120.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Morzer: Any of those bottles your wife have roots or dead snakes in them? Ginseng root and snakes are popular to put in soju and let it age.

  121. 121.

    Applejinx

    Ya know, for some of us it was NEVER ‘the taste of a finely grilled Bordeaux blah blah blah’ unless we were conning somebody. If you’re an alcoholic, it’s all Two Buck Chuck to you, because it is only and exclusively about gettin’ hammered and eventually you stop putting on airs about it.

    So, no tragedy here and no missing out on exquisite artistic experiences through grapes and hunks of meat. I personally will make do with other recipes and maybe the French omelets I make for breakfast: you want subtleties, try cooking eggs a lot, it’s NEVER the same twice and it’s truly an art form.

    I stopped being able to properly appreciate artistry in boozemaking WAAAAY before I got clean-n-sober. That’s just how it works, so don’t fret, nothing of value was lost :)

  122. 122.

    lamh36

    Good on u John and congrats on the jackpot.

    I’m jealous. Most I’ve ever won in Vegas is IDK…$200? And ya best believe I lost way more than that :-(

    Oh and how did u enjoy Blue Man group?

  123. 123.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne): Cecille appears to have inherited her dignified demeanor from her mom because I agree with you that I couldn’t take the prodding for 5 whole hours and not lose my cool.

    @Anne Laurie: Flying over the Grand Canyon sounds like a great pasttime. Added to bucket list.

  124. 124.

    Baud

    Good Morning America is reporting about Kim Davis’s meeting with the pope as if it’s been confirmed. We’ll see.

  126. 126.

    Sherparick

    @Morzer: Chaffetz is obviously a man who once had brains, but dumbed himself down in the Conservative Bubble to where he accepts a completely absurd chart, puts it on TV for the world to see (with the big number under the small number in the graph), and then looks gobsmacked when caught. I mean, he must really think his base is stupid (and if they are watching Fox and Friends, who I expect will think this chart is just “Devestating,” he won’t be far off), but the rest of us, not so much. Cecile Richards is my new hero.

  129. 129.

    Sherparick

    Congrats John, and I would talk to the manager about that mistake which really could have been bad news. As my Dad said, giving up booze was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life as it made him feel 10 feet tall (before the floor would rise up and smack him in the face). I know AA is not for everyone, but Dad, unlike JC, was an extrovert and found being around ex-drunks as much fun as being around drunks. They all had great stories to tell in his group.

  130. 130.

    Shantanu Saha

    I’ve been in casinos twice in my life before, and each time I ordered a diet coke, it came with rum in it. Seems they can’t help themselves.

  137. 137.

    Frankensteinbeck

    Congratulations, Cole. I am both proud of and I admire your strength. As for imagining the rush, some alcoholics are chemically predisposed to their alcoholism, and it hits you like a hard stimulant at first. You probably weren’t imagining that, which makes your self-control all the more impressive and admirable.

    @Amir Khalid:
    As for the pope thing, I can believe he would meet with someone like Kim Davis. I think safer money is on it being a lie, but it could happen. If he did, I’d find it much more likely that he lectured her on doing her damn job. When he released his statement that he disapproves of abortion and homosexuality, it was paired with his belief that giving people trouble about it is a worse sin. But one lesson I’ve learned in life is that people hear what they want to hear, and someone as self-involved as Kim Davis can be scolded by an authority and come out of it believing he supported her, instead.

  138. 138.

    Cervantes

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    If he did, I’d find it much more likely that he lectured her on doing her damn job.

    On his way home, he praised conscientious objectors and called for them to be honored.

    “Do you … support those individuals, including government officials, who say they cannot in good conscience … abide by some laws or discharge their duties as government officials, for example when issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples?” a reporter asked.

    Francis did not specifically mention Davis in his reply, noting, “I can’t have in mind all the cases that can exist about conscientious objection.” But he did offer a vigorous defense of conscientious objection as an important part of civil society.

    “Yes, I can say that conscientious objection is a right that is a part of every human right. It is a right,” he said. “And if a person does not allow others to be a conscientious objector, he denies a right … Conscientious objection must enter into every juridical structure because it is a right, a human right. Otherwise we would end up in a situation where we select what is a right, saying, ‘this right that has merit, this one does not.’”

    When the reporter, identified as Terry Moran from ABC News, followed up by asking about the specific issue of government officials, Francis replied: “It is a human right and if a government official is a human person, he has that right. It is a human right.”

  141. 141.

    Baud

    @Cervantes:

    Cool. So the pope undermines his whole message about doing more about climate change. All any conservative legislator has to do is say he conscientiously objects to carbon regulation.

  142. 142.

    OzarkHillbilly

    This Pope, whatever else he is, is still C-A-T-H-O-L-I-C. He might be a kinder gentler despot than the last Pope, but he is still a despot. Every time I find myself liking him a little bit, I only have to remember the face of the person who was the reason for my departure from that cesspool of abuse and demagoguery. The Church is always and foremost about the Church. Everything else serves that end.

  143. 143.

    debbie

    @Cervantes:

    Well, Davis certainly has the right to her beliefs, but she doesn’t have the right to redefine her job. Can you imagine the chaos allowing this kind of thing? I know my bosses would be pretty unhappy with me if I chose to work the way I wanted to on just the things I wanted to.

  145. 145.

    Cheap Jim, formerly Cheap Jim

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne): Well, the interrupting is part of a tactic, isn’t it? If you can make your witness annoyed, she might just say something rude, or at least something open to the kind of interpretation you’d like to put on it. Knowing that it is a tactic probably helps a bit.

  146. 146.

    Cervantes

    @Baud:
    @debbie:

    Further (Laurie Goodstein, NYT, April 15, 2013):

    Pope Francis has reaffirmed the reprimand of American nuns issued by his predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI, and endorsed the plan to have three bishops supervise an overhaul of the nation’s largest umbrella group of American nuns. […]

    The Vatican last year said in its doctrinal assessment that the nuns’ group was tinged with feminist influences, focused too much on ending social and economic injustice and not enough on stopping abortion, and permitted speakers at its meetings who questioned church doctrine.

    If only the nuns had said they were conscientious objectors to church doctrine.

  147. 147.

    Germy Shoemangler

    I don’t know. I’m late this morning. I confess I haven’t read every comment in this thread.

    Does anyone else here think Kim’s story about meeting the Pope is bullshit? A secret meeting?

    Did she disguise herself and come to NYC? Philly? The press followed him everywhere. Nobody noticed her slipping in a side door with a private audience with Francis?

    Maybe I’m wrong, maybe she did it and no reporters, photographers or fans saw her. It’s a hell of a thing to lie about.

  150. 150.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @sukabi: What little I’ve heard about it sounded like her lawyers/press people simply took the story Boehner told about meeting the Pope and substituted her name. But the Americanisms – “stay strong” and the like – don’t sound like they would come from him, either.

    It doesn’t much matter, really, except as yet another indication that the people around her are continuing to use her as a political cudgel rather than serving her best interests. I.e. it seems like she’s risking a contempt citation from the judge if she isn’t careful.

    IANAL. I wasn’t there.

    My $0.02.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  151. 151.

    rikyrah

    You seem as if you’re enjoying Vegas. Good. Still hope you do the Hoover Dam tour. As corny as it sounds, it’ll make you proud to be an American.

  153. 153.

    Fair Economist

    Good job staying strong, JC!

    @Goblue72:
    I don’t see not drinking wine with your steaks as a big loss. I’ve never liked alcohol and I think I have a rich, happy, fulfilling life. I find I can really enjoy steaks without alcohol, too.

  154. 154.

    rikyrah

    Planned Parenthood president stands up to House GOP grilling
    Cecile Richards, Planned Parenthood Federation of America president, talks with Rachel Maddow about the five hours of testimony she gave in Congress today, and explains the facts (surprisingly unfamiliar to many members of Congress) of what Planned Parenthood actually does, how its funding works, and truth about the role of Planned Parenthood in fetal tissue research

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/planned-parenthood-stands-up-to-gop-grilling-534749763726

  155. 155.

    SFAW

    @Morzer:

    The Rockies stretch up into Canada, dude. Let me know when you need another geography lesson, OK?

    I never knew about that Rockies’ spur that apparently goes through Indiana. Makes the Rockies look like you’re flippin’ the bird at someone, sideways, I guess, with a 1,000-mile middle finger? Thanks for edumacating me.

    But let me know when your own remedial geography lessons are done.

    ETA: I think the AT passes somewhat closer to SoCar than the Rockies do to Indiana, by the way.

  156. 156.

    JPL

    Twitter is telling me that CNN has confirmed that the video that Carly referred to is a miscarriage. If a candidate used my miscarriage to deceive the public, I’d hire an attorney.

  157. 157.

    rikyrah

    Meet H&M’s First Hijab-Wearing Model

    Check out the latest campaign for retail giant H&M and you’ll catch Mariah Idrissi, the chain’s first ever hijab-wearing model. With the fashion industry directing more of a keen eye towards diversity, this is a really exciting development.

    The importance of her casting isn’t lost on the 23-year-old London native, who told BuzzFeed Life being included in the campaign “means a lot.”

    Even more importantly, Idrissi felt like H&M was incredibly considerate in terms of making her feel comfortable on set.

    “(H&M) asked how much in terms of neck I could show, but to be honest, they were very respectful,” she said. “If the cameraman noticed something not quite right, they would call a woman over to fix me. One of the watches was dangling in the wrong way, and rather than just twisting it on my wrist, the cameraman asked a woman to come over. It just showed that little bit of respect.”

    http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/whats-hot/meet-handms-first-hijab-wearing-model/ar-AAeUWKw?ocid=HPCDHP

  159. 159.

    TerryC

    I was on the other end of that last week. I took a Mason jar of Black Moonshine (my name for a Black Walnut liqueur that I made last spring) to my new neighbor’s home as a housewarming gift.

    As I handed it to his wife, he bellowed “Does that have alcohol in it?!” and rushed across the room and out of, then back in again, yelling about the evils of alcohol, waving his arms like an aggressive demonstrating chimp.

    I beat it out of there – with her encouragement – and wonder what the hell I should do now :( I was looking forward to a new friend.

  160. 160.

    Fair Economist

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    Does anyone else here think Kim’s story about meeting the Pope is bullshit? A secret meeting?

    Yeah, a secret meeting sounds really BS. If anything at all happened it was something like:

    Nutty Kim, in a huge public crowd: “Pope Francis, Pope Francis!”

    Pope Francis, to the crowd: “God bless you all. Stay strong in your love of the Lord.”

    Nutty Kim’s mind: “He told me to continue!”

  161. 161.

    gvg

    conscientious objectors have gone to jail here and considered that worth it. To me that means war and pacifists and what we worked out was they became things like medics in a war zone that weren’t armed. Kim doesn’t qualify at all for that definition. It has never been alright for them to have any job which conflicts with their beliefs, it has always meant they did something else and couldn’t be forced to say kill on command. It also applies to jurors in death penalty cases-they are excused, not jailed, but could be required to serve on non death penalty cases instead.
    She is not required to change her beliefs, she just needs to resign this particular job. She can’t in do it. That is perfectly OK, just like I quit a job that promoted smoking and my sister quit a job where the employer wanted her to sign forged time cards to bill the government. A large number of people quit jobs that conflict with their values. They don’t imagine they can keep the job and get paid while not doing part of the job, nor do they think they can prevent other people from doing legal jobs.

  162. 162.

    gene108

    Saw part of an episode of “Motorweek” last night. They demonstrated how the EPA does MPG testing.

    I remember reading reviews of the VW Jetta Hybrid and how the test drivers were not getting as good mileage as the EPA estimates.

    Well, the EPA runs simulations, with the cars hooked up to machines to determine the MPG.

    Maybe the computers in the Hybrid also were geared to behave differently during the EPA MPG testing and retune to give more power and a better driving experience while on road.

  163. 163.

    Josie

    Good for you, John. I’m impressed with your strength in your struggle. I know from watching a loved one how difficult and unending it is. Thank goodness for your sense of humor, which is an important weapon.

  165. 165.

    Morzer

    @SFAW:

    Dude, it’s a JOKE. Appalachian trail/Rocky Mountains trail. You don’t have to dissect it for literal accuracy and proximity to the borders of Indiana.

  168. 168.

    Cervantes

    Via @beltane:

    [Rome] is rapidly deteriorating, in part due to [the Mayor’s] incompetence.

    Always true — regardless of who the Mayor is.

  169. 169.

    bemused

    @gene108:

    Well hidden? You’re joking, right? Liberace and Elvis both used capes, costumes, bling for their performance style but when I became a teen, I didn’t think Liberace was straight. I was amazed that so many people were shocked when they finally learned that Liberace was gay.

  171. 171.

    Matt McIrvin

    @gvg: The way I figure it, Kim Davis imagines herself to be resisting an evil on par with, say, the Holocaust. If your job were to send Jews to the camps, would you just resign and wash your hands of it? You might instead want to stay in office and do everything you can to sabotage the effort. It’d be legitimate, since the evil you’re sabotaging is so extreme.

    The thing is, that doesn’t remotely fly as a First Amendment religious-freedom argument, so, legally, it’s tough luck for her. If you do this kind of thing you have to expect to get in trouble.

  172. 172.

    beltane

    @bemused: The older women in my family all adored Liberace (“such a good son”). Maybe his fans preferred that he not have any sexual orientation at all. In my generation there were many girls who also loved Boy George.

  173. 173.

    Jamey

    Dropping a Twenny on the cocktail server was a stone-cold boss move, JGC.

    And when people talk about time in casinos teaching “valuable lessons,” I think it’s generally accepted that the lessons learnt cause people to leave the room down $1580, not with that amount in their pockets.

  174. 174.

    J.

    Wow. That takes a lot of self-control, John Cole. Bravo. And it seems the gods rewarded you for your effort. So how you planning on spending your loot?

  175. 175.

    Amir Khalid

    @beltane:
    I remember that in those days one woman filed a paternity suit against Boy George. George just laughed it off; he said he’d never had a woman in his life.

  176. 176.

    Matt McIrvin

    @gene108: My impression is that the EPA’s mileage testing and the regulations on what you can claim are actually pretty hard-assed these days. Most cars get better mileage on the road than the sticker says. If this one isn’t… that’s potentially interesting.

  177. 177.

    Cervantes

    @gvg:

    conscientious objectors have gone to jail here and considered that worth it. To me that means war and pacifists and what we worked out was […]

    And over the last two centuries, working all this out has been so difficult — enough so that I don’t apply the term loosely. I use it to talk about war, and about being forced to pay for war through taxation. (Many good people don’t even want the term extended to cover the latter.)

  178. 178.

    Woodrowfan

    Kim the Kentucky Klerk was in DC for the Hate-Voters meeting last weekend. She’s Pentecostal, and they generally don’t like the Pope (Anti-Christ, Whore-of-Bablylon, etc).

  179. 179.

    bemused

    I expected the Republicans to be assholes at PP hearing but when you have a whole roomful of mean neanderthals all eagerly taking their turn at woman bullying, it’s sickening. It’s embarrassing to watch these idiots and know the world is watching too.

    I watched the Trey Gowdy video and didn’t think the supposed wink was very interesting. I thought Gowdy’s comments were revealing when he was telling Richards that he knew what she really meant. He believes she was saying to them that she is “the reasonable one” and “people (aka liberals) evolve to a more advanced viewpoint”. These guys have huge issues, very thin skins and deeply resent anyone, especially women, trying to logically disabuse them of their ignorances about women’s health issues. I’d like to slap up the guy who told her, you didn’t think we’d go easy on you just because you are a woman.

  180. 180.

    shell

    @srv: Or maybe along the lines of ….Get him a little liquored-up and he might keep on gambling

    But glad you tipped your waitress.

  181. 181.

    satby

    @Cervantes: He’South American, so keenly aware of political oppression; but saying it’s a right does not say that people don’t have to face consequences like leaving a job over that right. But put me in the camp of sceptical that a meeting took place. IIRC, Davis’ church does’ t even consider Catholics Christians.

  183. 183.

    Cervantes

    @satby:

    saying it’s a right does not say that people don’t have to face consequences like leaving a job over that right.

    I’m not sure what he meant by the following:

    if a person does not allow others to be a conscientious objector

    It’s possible something was lost in translation, I guess.

    But put me in the camp of sceptical that a meeting took place

    On that question you can call me agnostic — not to say completely indifferent.

  184. 184.

    Cervantes

    Well, I was agnostic.

    Now there’s this:

    Pope Francis met privately in Washington last week with Kim Davis, the county clerk in Kentucky who defied a court order to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, a Vatican spokesman confirmed on Wednesday.

  185. 185.

    Bobby Thomson

    Good job, John.

    For future reference, the kind of place you were in that trips FYWP is known for intentionally getting “winners” drunk to impair their judgment. I doubt the bartender made a mistake.

  187. 187.

    Lee

    Outstanding job on your control. I’m not sure I would have had that much strength.

    In Vegas, what happened with your drink is enough to get the bartender fired.

  189. 189.

    DTTM

    Great job, John. You avoided the “Fuck it, I’ll go with that good old feeling” which your brain would be more than happy to oblige.

    Leave Las Vegas ASAP. No good can come from it….

  190. 190.

    Tim C.

    @Cervantes: Yeah, I think it’s a mistake to forget that the Pope, even this one who I have some positive feelings about, doesn’t ever align up with either the left or right in American politics. We agree on some things like poverty, the environment and the death penalty, and we disagree about people’s agency over their sexuality, women’s equality, and a host of other issues. That’s the way it is. Praise what you like, condemn what you don’t and hope for the best.

  191. 191.

    Goblue72

    @Morzer: I mentione Liberace because he had like over 20 dogs he doted on and called them his family. And he lived in Vegas, which is why he came to mind.

  192. 192.

    Goblue72

    @magurakurin: You know what I like? The dyspepsia, judgmentalism, attitude and lack of a sense of humor of a dry drunk. It’s like an old bottle of Bordeaux with low shoulders – you just know it’s gonna be skunked even before you open the bottle.

  193. 193.

    SFAW

    @Morzer:

    Oh, calm down. Yes, amazingly enough, even though the name “Mark Sanford” did not appear anywhere in your “Rocky Mountains trail” comment, I was able to discern that you were probably riffing on that. Even if you weren’t referring to the Appalachian Trail thing, I assumed you were making a joke. Weird, huh?

    Even more amazingly, I am also aware that there is no Indiana/Canada border – at least, not until Michigan secedes and joins Canada. (I hear they play hockey in Port Huron, so it could happen, I guess. And with Scott Walker all bent outta shape over quitting his campaign, he might want to take his union-busting ball and go elsewhere.)

    Can we now return to your regularly-scheduled humor? (Which I like, by the way.)

  194. 194.

    Morzer

    @Goblue72:

    I am not the one accusing you of anything. I thought you were talking about Cole’s taste for rhinestones. which is similar to Liberace’s.

  195. 195.

    LongHairedWeirdo

    Good on you for holding strong. And don’t feel bad for barking at her – you want her to glare at the bartender and say “don’t you *dare* fuck me like that again!”

    Now, if you’d kept yelling, that wouldn’t be nice – but part of the service sector is handling angry folks with legitimate complaints, and this *was* such a situation. Fact it, man, you’re an addict. You’re *dry* but I’d bet if someone had handed you that rum and coke at the wrong time, you’d have sucked it back, decided one more wouldn’t hurt, and… well, you don’t need a picture drawn.

    And if you want to say “no, that’s not true!” maybe it isn’t. Maybe you’ve got it licked. And if so, congratulations (assuming you’re not bullshitting yourself – very easy to do!) But you also know damn well that some of your fellow recovering-folks don’t have it licked, and can’t be handed a glass of booze they didn’t ask for, for fear of falling off the wagon good and hard.

    So: you had a legit complaint; you should have been angry. And good on you for recognizing that you shouldn’t take it all out on her, and apologizing.

  196. 196.

    SFAW

    @Goblue72:

    Low shoulders? Must not be from Chicago vineyards.

    For what it’s worth, I’m not sure that a recovering alcoholic is the same as a “dry drunk,” although I imagine there may be a Venn intersection of some amount. And, although I thought magurakurin was being a little over-the-top in his/her criticism (re: you and wine), I’m not sure s/he deserves that epithet.

    I was going to add “Now George W Bush, that’s a different story” re: being a dry drunk. But I’m not so sure he was dry during his terms.

  198. 198.

    SFAW

    @Cervantes:

    Isn’t Kimmy an evangelical? And don’t they think Catholics are not real Christians, at least, not the way that THEY are Christians? Big of her to grant the Pope an audience.

  201. 201.

    SFAW

    @Morzer:

    What ignorance? Because I didn’t state that I have actually heard of the Canadian Rockies (for like the last 40 years)? Or because I talked about the Indiana/Canadia border?

    Or is there something else that I’m forgetting, where you might actually be right about this?

    ETA: And, yes, calm down. You seem to be the only one getting hysterical about this.

  203. 203.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @Morzer:

    John Cole as part of a burlesque act in some Weimar Republic-themed club in WV

    I want to see that comic strip happen. Preferably drawn by Bill Watterson…

  204. 204.

    jake the antisoshul soshulist

    @BGinCHI:

    W. C. Fields was a drinker who was famously intolerant of drunken behavior. He had perfected the process of keeping himself at the level of functional intoxication he preferred and was not known to ever exhibition signs of drunkenness. However, if any guests at his house showed such signs, they were summarily ejected.

  205. 205.

    Brachiator

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    Does anyone else here think Kim’s story about meeting the Pope is bullshit?

    I’m agnostic about it.

    It would be stupid to make the story up, but hell, these are stupid times.

    Holy shite (literally)

    Just saw Cervantes’ cite of a confirmation:

    Pope Francis met privately in Washington last week with Kim Davis, the county clerk in Kentucky who defied a court order to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, a Vatican spokesman confirmed on Wednesday.

    @SFAW

    Big of her to grant the Pope an audience.

    Sorry, I don’t think you can deflect the significance of the Pope lending authenticity to Davis’ actions. And there is nothing in any of the news stories I previously saw on this that suggests this level of arrogance with respect to the Pope on Davis’ part.

  206. 206.

    mick

    John, getting served booze by accident has happened to me twice since i sobered up in 1986. One time in the 90’s, and then just a few weeks ago, matter of fact.

    It is only the deal you make of it. no worries, Cole.

  208. 208.

    SFAW

    @Brachiator:

    It was a joke.

    Although I have often found the I’ve-been-saved-so-all-my-immoral-behaviors-are-forgiven-YAY-ME types to have a goodly measure of arrogance in their makeup. Including the ones who look down their noses at the “elites,” without a trace of irony.

    I’m amazed that Pope Francis would do that, especially since she’s evangelical, but, as the saying goes, “It is what it is.”

    ETA: And, to be clear (or perhaps to muddy things up more?): it’s immaterial to me whether Francis gave her his blessing. The issue is not whether her religion says she’s a good person, or even if it says she gets a free pass to ignore the law – it’s whether that argument can be legitimately used in the US, under the Constitution. And if so, where does its use end?

  211. 211.

    Brachiator

    @SFAW:

    It was a joke.

    Yeah, I got that. The thing is, that although Davis’ in her past actions seemed arrogantly defiant to many, the papal audience seemed to be engineered to appear meek. So, joke, but it didn’t stick the landing for me.

    ETA: And, to be clear (or perhaps to muddy things up more?): it’s immaterial to me whether Francis gave her his blessing. The issue is not whether her religion says she’s a good person, or even if it says she gets a free pass to ignore the law – it’s whether that argument can be legitimately used in the US, under the Constitution. And if so, where does its use end?

    There is no legal argument, as far as I can see. The harm here is that the Pope here endorses Davis’ actions as a form of religiously approved civil disobedience. He also gives her legitimacy and ammunition against those (including me) who would say that her actions were not supported by any coherent theological position.

  212. 212.

    SFAW

    @Brachiator:

    Not sure why you’re trying to pick a fight over this.

    the papal audience seemed to be engineered to appear meek.

    So what? I’m an atheist, have been since I was a kid, and not an especially meek person (which is a prettied-up way of saying “significant bouts of assholishness”), but you can bet I would be extremely deferential to Pope Francis. (Benedict might have been a different story.) If Kim Davis had been anything BUT meek and deferential, I would have been surprised/amazed.

    I don’t really care whether her actions were supported by the leader of a branch of her “umbrella” religion (a branch which she may quite possibly detest), since the US is (technically) not yet a theocracy. As far as “legitimacy”: the Pope’s support means about as much, in practical terms, as would his picks for the World Series. And since he wasn’t speaking ex cathedra, it’s not as if Catholics are required to hear and obey the word of Landru.

    But being a devout atheist, I probably don’t know shit about any of this.

  213. 213.

    Brachiator

    @SFAW:

    Not sure why you’re trying to pick a fight over this.

    Not trying to pick a fight. I suppose it is easier to applaud a good joke than to explain the problems of a joke that is not so good. But it is not that big a deal.

    As far as “legitimacy”: the Pope’s support means about as much, in practical terms, as would his picks for the World Series. And since he wasn’t speaking ex cathedra, it’s not as if Catholics are required to hear and obey the word of Landru.

    Davis and her attorney, or the Pope (depending on who you want to blame), keeps this crap alive as a political issue. It’s got nothing to do with Francis X Cathedra or any other pope or silent era movie star.

    But being a devout atheist

    Now that’s witty.

  214. 214.

    Cervantes

    @Brachiator:

    I suppose it is easier to applaud a good joke than to explain the problems of a joke that is not so good. But it is not that big a deal.

    Said the rancher to his three boys, “It’s time, young men. Here’s ten million dollars. Go out and buy yourself a spread, some cattle, and get started on your own.” And so they did — but come the next week there was a phone call: “What should we call our new ranch, Dad?” A pause, and then came the reply: “Call it Focus.” “But why?” they asked. “Well, because that’s where the sun’s rays meet.”

  215. 215.

    SFAW

    @Brachiator:

    I suppose it is easier to applaud a good joke than to explain the problems of a joke that is not so good.

    Yes, let’s make sure thatall jokes are examined to make sure they comport with one’s view of the world, or propriety. Yeah, it wasn’t one of the Top 10 Knee-Slappers of All Time. But trying to explain to me (or anyone else) that Unclueable Kimmy Davis” is not really that arrogant, so how can you make that joke?” kind of misses the point.

    Davis and her attorney, or the Pope (depending on who you want to blame), keeps this crap alive as a political issue.

    So what? It’s annoying, but there are a gazillion other things much worse. Worrying about that is kinda like SIWOTI.

    It’s got nothing to do with Francis X Cathedra or any other pope or silent era movie star.

    I thought it was Francis X. Bushmill? (Actually, not bad, thanks for that one.)

    Now that’s witty.

    Your standards are … interesting.

  216. 216.

    SFAW

    @Cervantes:

    That’s terrible.

    But you should (if you haven’t already) read Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon by Spider Robinson. In one of the stories, there’s a pun-off, with some good ones.

  220. 220.

    Tehanu

    I won $1,000 once in Vegas, off a video poker machine (a royal flush, if you care). Was given a bunch of 100’s and 20’s. I do remember going up to the room, sitting on the bed, and throwing the money up in the air to fall down over me, as close as I could get to the Scrooge McDuck money bin dive. Never won anything since, though. So, congratulations, John, but keep in mind that after this, your chances of winning more than $5 on anything in Vegas are pretty low!

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