Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

People are weird.

Petty moves from a petty man.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

Cancel the cowardly Times and Post and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

Our messy unity will be our strength.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

We still have time to mess this up!

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

You are here: Home / Still Life with Cole and Pets

Still Life with Cole and Pets

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A few weeks ago, on a very funny post with the where-else-but-BJ title, Being the Whitest Form of White with a Black Roommate in One of the Whitest States in America, RSA commented,

Cole ought to write a novel, semi-autobiographical, in the great American tradition. He has a voice, as the writing coaches say, and I think it would be a great engaging read.

Cole answered,

Ehh, choose the posts and I will send them to an editor. I can’t tell the good ones from teh bad.

I’m RSA.  After some badgering of the management I was given the keys to the place, just for this.  Let’s see if we can come up with John Cole’s greatest hits.  Put up a link to your favorite of his posts, as a comment, along with a brief description of what’s in it and why you like it.  (This will help reduce repetitions; of course it’s fine to talk about whatever comes up.)  I tend to think of slice-of-life posts about pets, cars, roommates, mustard, and the challenges of avoiding long pants, but of course political posts are fair game as well.  You can search the site using the Google box; adding “posted by John Cole” to your search terms may help you to find a vaguely remembered post.

For background, Cole started blogging in 2002, as he recounts in a 2009 interview with Erik Kain. He described the blog’s commenters as “a dyspeptic, curmudgeonly, and off color community, but a community nonetheless.” Are you feeling honored by this description? Let’s return the favor. I’ll collate the results, if there’s any response, and we’ll figure out what to do then.

Reader Interactions

149Comments

  1. 1.

    Gin & Tonic

    I’m feeling pretty dyspeptic myself, but that’s probably because I got home very very late last night, and am now tired.

  2. 2.

    different-church-lady

    After some badgering of the management I was given the keys to the place, just for this.

    But will you use this power for good… or evil?

    Let’s see if we can come up with John Cole’s greatest hits.

    Ah, never mind, we have our answer.

  3. 3.

    Richard mayhew

    Tires and anthrax
    Clerk’s law
    Fuck it, I registered as a Democrat today
    Doha Dash and his 45/vs arm chair commandos

  4. 4.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Does anybody remember when John fell on the ice and wrecked his shoulder? He went to a doctor and came back all drugged up and wrote the single funniest post EVAH. I think it was in February but I can’t remember what year.

  5. 5.

    Auntie Anne

    I am using the mobile site, so no search, but the post that had me laughing until I cried was the one about his car in the field.

  6. 6.

    srv

    Well, it only took 10 years or so, but you earned your wings.

    Maybe you can pick up all the topics John has dropped because they’re not popular with the n00bs:

    Edward Snowden has come in from the cold – on Twitter.

    Snowden, the fugitive former National Security Agency contractor who leaked details about the U.S. government’s massive surveillance programs, started a Twitter account on Tuesday from exile in Russia with a simple handle – @snowden.

    He attracted more than 171,000 followers in about an hour and had 740,000 by Tuesday evening. But Snowden himself was following only one other Twitter account – his former employer’s.
    …
    Snowden’s initial tweet was “Can you hear me now?”

  9. 9.

    Mobile RoonieRoo

    The post that must be included is when he was mopping his bathroom naked and fell. That one must be found.

  10. 10.

    BruceFromOhio

    I really don’t understand how bipartisanship is ever going to work when one of the parties is insane. Imagine trying to negotiate an agreement on dinner plans with your date, and you suggest Italian and she states her preference would be a meal of tire rims and anthrax. If you can figure out a way to split the difference there and find a meal you will both enjoy, you can probably figure out how bipartisanship is going to work the next few years.

    To me, this set the stage. It doesn’t need description, it’s in the lexicon. The day Tunch died and John restrained his vengeance is another one that does not need description. I don’t like them, each reminds me of darker, bleaker places I really don’t want to go. But each reminds me in simple language and honest meaning what it means to be here in this world, this life, now.

    It helps me navigate the spaces between what is wanted, and what is necessary.

  14. 14.

    RSA

    @srv: You are a gem, thanks. (Also, you’ve been a consistent example of John’s description for the past ten years! And that’s a good thing.)

  16. 16.

    the Conster

    The day he first saw Lily was my favorite day on this blog, and then the day she came home with him was my second favorite. The whole Rosie jumping in his car thing was pretty great too.

    ETA: also, the guy who wanted to fax Cole his credenza. that was cray cray…

  18. 18.

    Suzanne

    My favorite is undoubtedly the post in which he recounts the entire carrying-Lily-fell-broke-shoulder-got-up-fell-all-over-self. I felt bad for laughing because he hurt himself so badly, but I am a bad person who takes pleasure in the misfortune of others, and I might as well just come clean about it.

  22. 22.

    trollhattan

    Will start with tire rims and anthrax and add the naked-mopping incident. Also, too, the first Lily meeting, when we knew he was smitten before he did (if I’m recollecting accurately).

  25. 25.

    SFAW

    @BruceFromOhio:

    Now… that’s one you don’t see very often. =)

    That one, combined with Omnes sort-of complimenting mclaren on the Trey Gowdy thread, can only mean that the Apocalypse is nigh.

    Damn! Couldn’t it wait until after the Mets start the NLDS?

  27. 27.

    geg6

    Almost any post in which his mom and/or dad are the stars of the tale. Especially Mama Cole. I just love her and how Cole can’t handle her at all. And the one where he found Lily. And the one when he brought her home. Like reading a love story.

  29. 29.

    Suzanne

    @srv: But how he writes about all his pratfalls in this very flat affect is just dryly hilarious to me. Maybe that’s just how I hear it. It actually reminds me how I used to admit to (minor) wrongdoing as a teenager, and I my tongue was always very firmly in my cheek. So the posts about his legendary FAILS always come off as comedy gold to me.

  35. 35.

    geg6

    Oh, and some of his stuff from his epic trip to the DNC with ABL. Forgetting his pants was some of the funniest shit. But that whole thing was good. Cole’s reactions to being in places where he is not naturally comfortable are very endearing.

  38. 38.

    Aleta

    John wrote this up as a fuck-up, but to me it was a beautiful impulse and show of good faith in the heavens, and to this day I love the picture in my mind.

    The Google news feed was showing a piece about some astronomical event, and John wrote that he had made and drunk a lot of late night coffee and set up a chair in the back yard to watch through the night. His description of getting ready and waiting for it to begin was real short, but somehow quite moving. He was sitting there for a while in anticipation, and I decided to to stay up myself. Googled it. Turned out the news article was from about 2 years earlier.

    Someone commented about the date being off, and then J wrote it up as “another dumb” mistake of his, and now he was wide awake for the night. I never saw it as a dumb mistake, and it acquainted me with his optimistic spirit and willingness. Reminded me that any time is a good time to set up and watch the sky.

  41. 41.

    Aleta

    @geg6: yeah, I was thinking of that, too. Especially when they first set out in the car, and he described Imani and posted some pictures, I think.

  42. 42.

    geg6

    @TaMara (BHF):

    Oh yes! Any or all of them! Some of my all-time faves. I giggle my ass off every time I see he’s decided he’s had enough of our shit. And now that I know what he looks like, the picture I get in my head of him furiously typing those posts just increase my hilarity.

  45. 45.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @geg6:

    And now that I know what he looks like, the picture I get in my head of him furiously typing those posts just increase my hilarity.

    Turning more and more red, sweating, and mashing at the keyboard with giant ham-hands.

  48. 48.

    catclub

    @srv:

    Somehow drove to the ER, got some xrays and a ct scan, and I have basically pulverized my scapula. It is broken in multiple places, so I am heavily sedated and wearing a massive shoulder/arm immobilizer

    How the hell did he type that? Much less even have any desire to type that.

  51. 51.

    Aleta

    I also like all his posts where he describes the position of each animal in his bed, or how they settle in, or how they wake him up, or some mishap of disorder that happens in the middle of the night that gets someone barking.

    I liked his description of what he could offer a girl as long as she would take care of the things like buying a car, paperwork, anything that required decisions of a certain kind.

    I like when he mused about a foster child, or opening his house to a refugee, and I liked when he wrote about having Shawn visit and then move in, or having someone stay for awhile.

    Also, his research and experiments with food and cooking for a diet that would help manage diabetes, and how good he felt after a week of it, was a great series of posts that I learned a lot from. His posts about quitting drinking have been favorites, too, and helped me out of a period of hopelessness about change.

  54. 54.

    Aleta

    Also like the posts where he would describe each of the dishes he was making for a cookout to have the boys in the frat over. And his other descriptions of cooking. Always quite lifelike; I could see the food.

    And the post or two when he bought Tunch a big expensive cat tree, followed by Tunch sitting at the bottom of it looking at him, refusing to climb. Later Steve came along and made the top perch his own. Loved the story of getting Steve, so soon after Tunch–making a good thing out of a terrible thing.

  55. 55.

    Geeno

    The finding of Lily at the shelter, before he even knew she was his soul mate.
    The “I’m done apologizing for religious whackjobs” rant during the Terry Schiavo affair. That’s key – that was the beginning of his abandonment of the GOP. That was JC’s overreach moment.

  56. 56.

    Aleta

    I think there was a post mocking himself when one dog went missing, and he ran around the neighborhood in scanty dress, calling something like “Rosie come home.”

  57. 57.

    Aleta

    Description of being in the desert in Kuwait (I think) with tanks and his buddies during the anti-Iraq operation. Some explosives were set off accidentally.

  58. 58.

    Tim C.

    I know it’s not the happy funny ones, but the posts where he recognizes his alcoholism and his struggles to get admitted to treatment. I honestly think those posts saved lives. Very similar to things I have dealt with.

  61. 61.

    Geeno

    @srv: That’s definitely a good one to show the evolution of this blog and its blogmaster. Or maybe the evolution of the GOP.
    But the first Lily posts. When he went to the shelter to find a cat, and became enamored of this little dog with a weird infection or something on its back.
    That series of posts is central to this community – even for people who didn’t witness it directly.

  63. 63.

    CaseyL

    The one where helicopters weren’t laughing. I don’t remember what John’s front page post was, but the comment thread became legend. I think it’s the same one with the let-me-fax-you-a-credenza, and being aware of all internet traditions. Like I said: Legend!

    There’s also one where he was getting ready to watch the Steelers, and posted a photo of Tunch on a Steelers towel, wearing a Steelers collar. I think that was among the first visual glimpses of John’s homelife. When I think about it now, I get sniffly.

    The Tunch Memorial animal welfare bleg, where we raised something like $13,000; for MARC, I think.

    Oh, god, now that I’m wracking my brain, I’m remembering so many wonderful posts…

  64. 64.

    Suzanne

    @catclub: I have no idea, but I hear it as so deadpan that it makes it really funny to me.

    I remember back when my mom got an America Online account back when I was in junior high school, and I got it suspended by using vulgar and/or profane language too much. (Shocker.) This was how I informed her of that:

    “So, I suppose I should tell you that your account has been suspended.”
    :::DEATH GLARE::: “And WHY IS THAT?!?!”
    “I posted that, in my opinion, the Cardigans’ hit song ‘Lovefool’ sucks big horse labia. Apparently someone considered that language inappropriate.”
    :::snorting and laughing:::

    I never got in trouble, for that or for anything else, and the song really does fucking suck. I hear John’s confessions of clumsiness in the same voice.

  65. 65.

    Citizen_X

    You’ve got the title already: Tire Rims and Anthrax.

    Oh, and there has to be a major Tunch presence. He is the spirit animal of this blog, after all.

  67. 67.

    TaMara (BHF)

    From the Lily post:

    So, to recap, she smells like cat urine, is not leash trained, has an open rash on her back, probably is not house trained, is suffering from horrible anxiety, I’m not really fond of the name Missy, and I think she is perfect. I scheduled an appointment with the vet on Tuesday to take her in to make sure she does not have any diseases that will harm Tunch and to see if we can get the rash fixed, and I will probably take her home next week.

  68. 68.

    Geeno

    @TaMara (BHF): That’s what I was looking for. The early Lily posts.
    This is really a pet blog where we sometimes talk politics.

    That’s the heart of it. What keeps us human.

  69. 69.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    @Suzanne:

    God, I just heard “Lovefool” a few days ago on some Sirius channel I don’t usually frequent. I usually steer clear of the ones where the name is not sufficiently descriptive to let you know the genre. “The Bridge”? WTF?

  70. 70.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @TaMara (BHF): There is a definite probability that my sentimental streak* does not match up with that of many others on this blog.

    *Which is quite deep in its way.

  71. 71.

    TaMara (BHF)

    @Geeno: The fact he had us all believing Tunch was this fierce, judgmental furry beast, when instead he was a big love who snuggled up to anyone who walked into the house. Miss that damn cat-I-never-met-but-loved. :’-(

  73. 73.

    Commish

    One of the posts where he told off the commentariat. My favorite was illustrated with a picture of Jesus giving us all the middle finger.

  75. 75.

    TaMara (BHF)

    Ok, that’s it for me. Looking at old posts there are a lot of commenters who are no longer here and I find I miss them.

    And jeezus, I’ve been posting recipes for you since 2009? You guys must be so sick of me by now.

    nite all.

  76. 76.

    different-church-lady

    Was “skull fucking a kitten” one of his, or did he borrow/adapt it?

    Quite an irony: famous for loving pets, also famous for a brilliant-but-vulgar turn of phrase involving something horrible against a pet.

  78. 78.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    There have been so many posts of his that were filled with such heart-breaking honesty, in addition to the great, funny posts about life in general.

    The searching. The trying to figure out how to climb out of his shell. The hiding from people yet suddenly posting the full-on picture of himself. The thinking about adoption. The generosity in supporting animal rescue outfits with the sales of his B-J store. The support of his fraternity family.

    The “real life in Bethany” posts.

    He doesn’t post here enough, seemingly more enamored with the Twitter machine. But when he does, it’s usually very good.

    ‘Night all.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  79. 79.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Suzanne:

    Hoping for a miracle for Richard Glossip.

    You won’t get it.

    ETA: I wish I had gone to bed before I got this news. It’s fucking barbaric.

  80. 80.

    Suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: It is the single worst thing about this country. The most reprehensible thing we do.

    I haven’t said the Pledge of Allegiance since I was fifteen, and this is why.

    As she was killed, she sang “Amazing Grace”. Fuck. FUCK.

  83. 83.

    Omnes Omnibus

    I may have just insulted fake Nixon on Twitter. I have no regrets.*

    *Regrets related comment limited to this post. Other life choices not addressed here.

    ETA: The fucker favorited my tweet.

  84. 84.

    Anne Laurie

    Anybody else remember Cole’s epic description of getting stuck on his own roof, after the ladder fell out of reach? Because he could not stand to have unsightly clogged gutters, so he managed to overcome his fear of heights just long enough to get trapped like a particularly large ungainly cat in a tree? And he had to cling there until his elderly dad wandered by, wondering what the kid had gotten up to this time?…

    I laughed so hard, I almost had to change the chair cushions.

  86. 86.

    Aleta

    Descriptions of what he was like as a kid, and how his parents handled it; and that photo of the young kids

  87. 87.

    Hoosierspud

    Didn’t John used to hold a contest at the end of the year for readers to vote on their favorite comments? I loved those columns. One year the winning comment was about Palin’s comment about knowing foreign policy due to Alaska being so close to Russia. I paraphrase, “I can see the moon from my house, but that doesn’t make me a fucking astronomer”. The runner-up, describing a conference of conservative Evangelicals, “There will be more foot-tapping in those men’s rooms than a performance of Riverdance.”

  91. 91.

    joel hanes

    @CaseyL:

    being aware of all internet traditions.

    the font of merriment was at Sadly No!,
    but Cole’s commentariat rose to the occasion.

  94. 94.

    Chuckles

    The public journey from Republican to Democrat would need to be a major part of a book. It’s something we tend to discuss in relation to how f’ed the GOP was proving itself to be at that time, and it would be easy to make this section preachy and confrontational. But those several major posts (many of them mentioned above) showed an enormous amount about the human condition and how our opinions form our self-image and our self-image forms our opinions.* It’s made me a lot more conscious of when my knee-jerk reactions are hackish and tribal.

    Which is not even to say anything about his personal experience of the time, which has to be pretty gripping.

    * Michael Berube had a great line describing a similar dynamic in the other direction: “I used to consider myself a Democrat, but thanks to 9/11, I’m outraged by Chappaquiddick.” For Cole, IIRC, it was the Schiavo case that started changing everything.

  95. 95.

    Goblue72

    I’m posting on a mobile so can’t search the thread. May have been mentioned but this one – the day Tunch died and everyone cried: https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/13/rip-tunch/

    I think there was a series of his posts in the days immediately after as well that were a bit angry, likely slightly drunk, and completely raw. The funny stories are great – comedy is where hope lives. But tragedy is where we learn our humanity – it’s where we face our mortality and find grace.

  96. 96.

    BGinCHI

    RSA, here is one of my favorites, especially as a native son and then ex-pat of the state in question:

    https://balloon-juice.com/2015/03/27/oddly-enough-i-have-been-boycotting-indiana-my-whole-life/

    Here is my initial comment on the post:

    Those of us who grew up there and left have, generally, nostalgia mixed with contempt. I could never live there again, but there are things about it that are lovely. It’s a state that has produced all kinds of great people, from Cole Porter to Oscar Robertson. But like so much of America it is mired in backwardness and religious intolerance.

    Let’s just be glad Mike Pence and the IN GOP’s slip is showing here. Seeing their true colors is valuable.

    If you want to use this, I can elaborate on this and put Cole’s post into a larger context. Let me know. You can reach me at bradgreenburg [at] yahoo [dot] com

  97. 97.

    SG

    I happen to have bookmarked a bunch of Cole’s posts over the years, almost all of them on “life, the universe and everything” rather than politics. These are the writings that are pure John Cole in my mind.

    Here are a bunch of posts on Cole’s legendary mishaps, followed by some of his odes to Lily. Women would swoon to get such love letters.

    A Day in the Life
    https://balloon-juice.com/2014/08/14/a-day-in-the-life-2/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2014/08/16/saturday-open-thread-12/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2014/08/16/back-from-the-er/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2009/06/05/i-think-this-is-the-one/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2012/03/16/your-late-night-moment-of-lily-zen/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2012/03/16/just-another-day-in-paradise-3/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2012/05/19/open-thread-1320/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2012/07/02/chew-on-this/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2012/11/03/chives-worst-nightmare/

    Following, to me, is the most extraordinary series of posts on the loss of Tunch, his grief and his gradual return to living. He might hate to hear it, but Cole’s honesty and wisdom shine in his writing:


    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/14/i-just-want-this-weekend-to-end/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/14/very-high-very-fat-and-trying-to-clean-himself/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/14/late-night-open-thread-142/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/15/i-am-such-a-dick/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/15/this-is-not-a-sad-post/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/15/late-night-open-thread-147/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/14/another-teeny-tiny-request/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/14/you-guys-are-the-best/


    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/16/im-off-to-bed/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/15/almost-twelve-thousand-dollars/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/15/i-need-to-get-this-off-my-chest/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/17/i-guess-this-is-a-good-thing/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/17/time-for-one-more-smile/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/18/get-busy-living-or-get-busy-dying/

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/19/heres-another-post-about-my-cat-and-if-you-dont-like-it-well-screw-you/

  102. 102.

    cosima

    All of the above & so much more. One that springs to mind (and even occasionally whilst chopping veg or similar as my mind wanders) was the one where he took the p*ss out of McMegan re: her kitchen, condiments, appliances, etc. And showed photos of his hands & various other Cole kitchen kit. The tone of that one was so scornful — laughed my head off.

  103. 103.

    BruceFromOhio

    @TaMara (BHF): Not even close, T. I don’t comment much there, but I always read your recipes, and commentary about ingredients and what’s going on in the garden(s).

    @SG: Wow. Wow. Gotta circle around that one and approach carefully, there’s a lot of there there. Thank you for collecting those and wading through moderation to share. The Tunch posts remain raw and painful, even this far down the line.

    @Pie Happens (opiejeanne): Was trying to think of when I first ended up here, and it was when TBogg folded tents after he had joined FDL. Or maybe when TRex left it, I can’t remember. It was definitely after John departed the Republican shores, and the references to his conservative past were … like referring to someone who had moved away and left no forwarding address.

  104. 104.

    RSA

    Thanks for all the comments! What a rich trove of recollection and thoughtfulness. It will take a while, but I’ll do some cutting and pasting of your links and comments, some more blog searching, then post results and ask for suggestions about what to do with the material.

  105. 105.

    Patricia Kayden

    I have three:

    From July 25, 2012 “Asshole of the Century” (About James Taranto’s rant against the men who tried to save loved ones during the Aurora massacre)
    From Sep 9, 2015 “Who are These People?” (Reflects my views about the Clinton email “scandal”)
    August 19, 2015 “Living the Dream” (Hilarious account of how his men bits ended up on public display).

  106. 106.

    Betty Cracker

    I’d have to go with the Republican to Democrat transition. It was anguished and uncommonly honest. Not many writers would have the guts to put all that out there.

  107. 107.

    ET

    Go I can’t remember which it was but there was one this year I think, that was a FUNNY one that involved pet puke or poop maybe he even stepped in it that had me laughing.

  108. 108.

    CaseyL

    @ET: Yeah, you’ll have to be more specific, as those happen… pretty often. At least once, stepping in the pep vomit or poop was the capper to a string of incidents where John was stumbling around bouncing off household objects.

  113. 113.

    Achrachno

    OK, here’s better detail on my cryptic ref. from yesterday. John’s actual title was:

    FREE REBUILT SUBARU ENGINE FOR ANYONE WHO WILL TOW MY FUCKING CAR OUT OF THE GODDAMNED FIELD

    And related posts.

  114. 114.

    cosima

    A tiny excerpt from the holiday kitchen guide post a la Cole:

    That is a “knife.” With one of those, you can basically do anything you want in a kitchen. Yes, if you must, you can spend thousands of dollars on a knife for every occasion, but really, that is the only one you really need. It slices, it dices, it chops, it peels, it deveins, it skins, it carves- you can do pretty much everything with it, including slitting your wrists after reading the Atlantic.

    https://balloon-juice.com/2011/12/10/my-holiday-kitchen-guide/

  118. 118.

    Aleta

    Also would like to see some of the posts with righteous anger at people and politics that despoil humanity. Some of his posts about Trayvon’s murder come to mind but there are so many that were so good at changing solitary pain into shared outrage.

  120. 120.

    shinobi42

    Everything chronicling the Terry Schiavo issue as others have mentioned, and his transition from Republican to whiny liberal. I had made a similar transition less than a year before, and it was gratifying to see someone whose writing I admired draw the same conclusions about the republican party, and do so so openly.

    I am not nearly as active a reader or commenter as I used to be, (Stupid job, stupid no more google reader!) and I never was THAT active, because really too many clever people around here, you don’t need me. But John has always managed to combine the personal and the political here in such an amazing way. And built such a great community with his curmudgeoning.

    Also, are YOU aware of all internet Traditions?

  121. 121.

    Starfish

    I think that I may have come here from Andrew Sullivan’s blog around the time John changed political allegiance so some of the interactions with Andrew Sullivan’s blog should be included like:

    The time he calls out Andrew Sullivan for hating Hillary Clinton while also hating Hillary Clinton
    https://balloon-juice.com/2008/01/16/time-for-an-intervention/

    The time he calls out Andrew Sullivan for being an anti-abortion asshole
    https://balloon-juice.com/2009/06/02/time-to-rethink-your-conscience/

    The time he calls out Andrew Sullivan for liking the Paul Ryan tax plan and suggests a much more elegant tax plan
    https://balloon-juice.com/2011/04/07/i-cant-help-myself/

  122. 122.

    Luthe

    I’ve got a weakness for his posts on mentoring the frat boys. Also, his early Lily posts where he would censor her doggie nipples. Those were comedy gold.

  124. 124.

    Aleta

    @Aleta: Not in particular, but here is an example that was easy to find:
    I am firmly convinced it is only going to get worse from this administration and the nutjobs at the Weekly Standard. That is, unfortunately, a given, as we know how low they will go- as low as they possibly can. The only interesting question for me is how far will the lunatic fringe 28% crowd in the blogosphere go? How outrageous will the rhetoric have to get before the Malkins, the Hewitts, and all the rest of them say “Wait a minute- that crosses the line?”

    I am betting they will never find a line they will not cross- this is not about Iraq or domestic politics anymore. This isn’t about the soldiers and it isn’t about the prospect of Democracy in Iraq. This is about being “right” in the face of evil leftists. This is about “winning.” This is not about what these policies and this vile rhetoric are doing to this nation and our standing- this is about saving face and their own personal stake in what they have attached themselves to in the course of achieving “victory.” My guess is Bush and his speechwriters and Kristol and those mutants at the Weekly Standard and other rags feel comfortable saying this stuff because they know that out there in the blogosphere and the world there are ample knuckledraggers willing and happy to cover for them.

    https://balloon-juice.com/2007/08/23/sullivan-lets-loose/

    (I should say that his later writing about the delusions and hypocrisies of A Sullivan’s reasoning were brave and admirable.)

  125. 125.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    I’ve been posting here a LONG time. Since 2008 (not under this name). The Tunch posts, as brutal and hard as they are to read, absolutely need to be included. As do all the alcoholism related ones. They are raw and hard to read, yet should be read. Few people are capable of being as honest about themselves as John Cole.

  126. 126.

    gussie

    I know agents, a bit. If you’re serious, and you see this, drop me an email. (There may well be people on the blog who know better’n I do, of course.)

  127. 127.

    Felanius Kootea

    Favorites: posts on Terri Schiavo, trip with AngryBlackLady and the tire rims and anthrax post. I’ve been reading this blog too long. Least favorite post after he switched to being a democrat was one essentially berating whatsisname’s wife (the guy who hiked the Appalachian trail, divorced his wife, got engaged to the Argentinian woman and then dumped his fiancée once he realized his political career was salvageable) – wanted to punch Cole for that one.

  128. 128.

    Brachiator

    Coming very late to the party.

    Probably the post where he finds Lily. An entire subsection of the book could be devoted to “Lily, A Love Story.”

    Everything chronicling the Terry Schiavo issue as others have mentioned

    I think this was before my time here, but I remember getting independently enraged over this farce, and watching deranged conservatives detach themselves from reality in insisting that Schiavo was alive. I didn’t realize how deeply this also struck Cole, and would be interested in seeing these rants.

  131. 131.

    Kass

    One of my favorites that shows the commenters so wonderfully was the time Cole said that sometimes he couldn’t help thinking Reagan wasn’t such a bad guy…the barrage of facts that followed was an awesome education for him! Anybody recall that one?

  136. 136.

    Halffasthero

    I have not posted on this site for years but have always enjoyed reading it. He has had so many great posts I could not even begin to pick “the best”. The funniest were always when he got angry and went on a rant. I do miss the earlier days on this blog when there was more of a balance of right and left commentators but times have changed and the right side has gotten very extreme.

  137. 137.

    Sandia Blanca

    Another recurring theme (don’t have a specific example in mind) is the whole phenomenon of pet-naming. Cole will announce the existence of a new pet (or foster pet, or random passerby pet), ask for name suggestions, mention a couple of names he is thinking of, and then, 300+ comments later, he will announce that he has named the animal something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from anything anyone has mentioned.

    This all falls into the broader category of “Cole trolling his own blog,” which is, of course, one of his favorite pastimes. And reading all the comments is part of that–of course he reads them!

  138. 138.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @BGinCHI:

    Gary, the sweaty, dirty armpit of middle America, a drive through which is like running into a truck-sized pothole full of industrial smog, baked bean farts and indiscriminate gun fire.

    Captures the essence of Gary, Indiana pretty well, I think…

  139. 139.

    EL

    @BGinCHI: no, no, no! It must be titled “pantsless killing machine” a comment that came out of his trip to the convention with Angry Black Lady.

    On a more serious note, I followed a link to this blog when he was trying to get at the facts of the Valerie Plame reveal. He was still Republican then, but I was impressed by how he tried to get the facts, and get his commentariat to agree on the facts prior to drawing conclusions. That must be 2003, and I’ve been here ever since.

    Come for the politics, stay for the pets.

  140. 140.

    stinger

    @Aleta: Yes to all of these, especially the ones mentioned in the latter two paragraphs.

    But a collection wouldn’t be complete without the recent post telling how he, uh, wore short-shorts? Not sure that I can describe it without falling out of my chair in tears (again).

  143. 143.

    Nancy

    Well, of course they did. May 5, 2014, Supreme Court okays opening Town meetings with a prayer. . I live in that bizarre little town that gained itself some nationwide notoriety or shame. Mr. C. cheered me right up.

  145. 145.

    Doug

    Chicken, platter of shit with shards of broken glass, and the undecided voter in the 2008 election.

  146. 146.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Suzanne: That’s the one I immediately thought of. I laughed/cringed as I read it, especially when he revealed that his shoulder was broken.

    There have been so many great ones. The one in which Cole had to announce the death of Tunch broke my heart completely.

    https://balloon-juice.com/2013/07/13/rip-tunch/

    In general, the posts Cole did about how he managed to hurt himself or forget to pack his pants have been the best. There have been too many to link, though.

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