Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

We still have time to mess this up!

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

No one could have predicted…

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Fight them, without becoming them!

Tick tock motherfuckers!

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Everybody saw this coming.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. Do not congratulate. This is not business as usual.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / Open Thread: Sad Man Flailing

Open Thread: Sad Man Flailing

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… It’s like “dead man walking,” but with sad-trombone fart noises!

After reading Doctor Cleveland’s Jane Austen post, I asked the Spousal Unit if Jeb Bush could be compared to hapless clergyman Mr. Collins. He said that wasn’t really fair… to Mr. Collins.

And JEB!’s stuck campaigning until at least February 9th, becasue no way is Momma Bar letting him off the hook before New Hampshire #FITN. He must be looking at reports about the Secret Service agents involved in a head-on collision in NH with a certain amount of trepidation… or possibly envy.

Reader Interactions

43Comments

  1. 1.

    dmsilev

    Jane Austen character correspondences. Hmmm. Trump I think is Mrs. Bennett. Says whatever pops into his head at any given moment, doesn’t even think for an instant about what other people might think.

    Edit: And Barbara Bush is, of course, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Which would make Jeb her daughter whats-her-name the sickly heir who was “supposed” to marry Mr. Darcy.

  4. 4.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    Kirk Herbsteit needs to find a new catch phrase. I’ve heard “lower the boom” way too many times already tonight.

  5. 5.

    JustRuss

    Dear god, if someone told me they saw a train wreck stop so it could watch Jeb’s campaign, I’d believe him. I guess he figured handing out nicknames paid off for his brother, so what the heck. Jeb, when you can’t live up to W’s standards, just stop. Please.

  6. 6.

    Bobby D

    Good lord almighty, I thought ¡Yeb! couldn’t get any more tone deaf after the “my bro kept us safe”, and “i’d do Iraq all over again”. But bringing up Katrina…he really is actively trying to lose this thing. Might want to check the bookies and see if someone’s laid big money against him back in the summer.

    I wouldn’t put it past the Bush crime syndicate to raise 50mil, bet that 50 against himself, then purposely tank it and walk with the loot. It’s the only possible explanation I can think of…unless he’s been eating lead burritos and snorting mercury. Nobody can possibly be that stupid.

  9. 9.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Bobby D: As I told the wife about a month after jeb? got in the race; I’ve discovered something very disturbing: George is the smart Bush.

  12. 12.

    Mike J

    I wish these moron republicans would get with the program and vote for Jeb! I have no doubt at all that he’s the easiest to beat.

  16. 16.

    SIA

    After reading Doctor Cleveland’s Jane Austen post, I asked the Spousal Unit if Jeb Bush could be compared to hapless clergyman Mr. Collins. He said that wasn’t really fair… to Mr. Collins.

    Mr Collins, after being flatly rejected by Lizzie Bennett, at least had the gumption to snap up Charlotte Lucas. Sad Jeb! gets no such consolation prize.

    Also, fuck the Bushes.

  23. 23.

    Bobby D

    Bill, I too was puzzled. We were told for so long that ¡Yeb! was the smart one. They both appear to be fetal alcohol syndrome victims. Their odious lunatic of a mother was probably necking Tom Collins and Tanqueray/Tonics down at the country club well into her third trimester while Poppy was off chasing skirt.

    Glendale eh? I live in Redlands, went over to your neck of the woods to buy a car a few years back. I was like “what’s with all the weird decorative iron fence stuff and bizarre architecture added onto ranch houses?” Apparently it’s an Armenian thing, ugly as shit, so I hope there’s at least some good food that comes with the eyesores.

  24. 24.

    JPL

    Will someone please tell my neighbors, enough with the fireworks. They started at eight and now a hour and a half later, they are still going strong.

    @efgoldman: There’s a mute button for that.

  27. 27.

    JPL

    @raven: Oh goodie… I don’t know if you saw earlier, but my son signed on to my computer for two weeks, so I could watch the games today. I have ESPN on mute and put on PBS to listen to the replay of Simon and Garfunkel’s 1981 central park concert.

  31. 31.

    raven

    @efgoldman: Remember the You Bet Your Life with the woman with 12 kids? Woman “I like kids” Groucho “I like cigars but I take them out of my mouth once in a while”!

  37. 37.

    Heliopause

    I asked the Spousal Unit if Jeb Bush could be compared to hapless clergyman Mr. Collins.

    Jeb’s much more like Darcy. Wealthy, privileged, but has difficulty connecting with people on a personal level. Collins, for his many faults, was a decent fellow who worked for a living.

  39. 39.

    Robert Sneddon

    @Bobby D: It’s not about the Benjamins, not for the Bushes. They are American royalty, a generation at least past the point where mere money was needed to maintain their status in society. They have influence which is more important, they know people who have money if they ever need to spend someone else’s fortune to achieve their goals and that money will always be forthcoming no matter how dire the situation because, it is believed, the Bushes will have and be able to exercise power twenty and thirty years from now. JEB! might well pull out of the nomination race but it won’t be money troubles that cause him to do so.

    I’ve pointed this out before but there’s a new Bush on the political launchpad, Jeb’s son George P. He’s holding down a viceregal position in the Bush family’s wholly-owned subsidiary of Texas, Land Commissioner but that’s only a stepping-stone towwards a Gubernatorial or Federal slot and eventually a run for the White House. His Wikipedia entry has already been cleaned up — he has a middle name derived from his Hispanic mother’s side of the family but it is noticeably absent from his public biographies on the internet. The money men dropping pocket-change into the floundering JEB! campaign today are looking to the future when George P. is going to be running for Prez in fifteen or twenty years time and they and their heirs don’t want to be remembered as the sorts of folks who didn’t show proper “respect” to the Bushes today.

  41. 41.

    Sondra

    As they grasp for any straw that makes Jeb! even the least bit appealing…his advice on selfies goes over nicely…awe!

    Meanwhile I keep waiting for the moment when his team of magical supporters, PACS and old family retainers make it appear that he breaks from the back of the pack and surges into a run for the finish line to win and become the GOP nominee.

    It’s not totally impossible. After rehabilitating him to be charming and somewhat less dumb, after disposing of the 2 front-runners whom they hate: Trump and Cruz, after smearing Rubio with those tantalizingly fact free scandal stories about his cocaine dealer brother-in-law, his mistress and out of wedlock love child, his illegal use of campaign funds to pay his bills and those shady real estate deals.

    They will only have to contend with Chris Christy who used to be the rudest and most insulting candidate until Trump made him look small and fat: and also the 2nd most scandal ridden candidate who will most likely self-implode. That only leaves the also rans: Rand(let’s return to the gold standard) Paul , Ben (I had a temper as a kid) Carson, Carly( CEO who ruined HP) Fiorino, Rick (man on dog) Santorum, Mike (why don’t the evangelicals love me?) Huckabee, Lindsay (Joe Lieberman’s BFF) Graham and whoever else there is still out there on the stump.

    And they’re off!…there you have it…Bob’s your Uncle…quick as a Bunny…Jeb! is the underdog come from behind dark horse winner of the GOP nomination. A prediction I make un-ironically and with a healthy dose of mixed metaphors.

  42. 42.

    skjellyfetti

    Oh look. Another blog post made-up almost entirely of tweets. How mundane.

    I guess that one wasn’t on your New Year’s resolutions list…

  43. 43.

    Just One More Canuck

    @skjellyfetti: I suppose you could just not read it and move on with your life. Instead you feel it necessary to make a snide, pathetic comment

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