Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

T R E 4 5 O N

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

This fight is for everything.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

People are complicated. Love is not.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Let there be snark.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Excellent Links / Open Thread: Unplugging from FaceBorg, or Changing Your Settings?

Open Thread: Unplugging from FaceBorg, or Changing Your Settings?

by | 85 Comments

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Not a FaceBook user myself, because my brain chemistry already compels me to waste too much time trying to get to the end of the internet (and, yes, I’ve been fortunate that I haven’t ‘needed’ to set up an account for my job or my social life). So I can’t test Mr. Fallows’ advice here, but I figured it might be useful…


Reader Interactions

85Comments

  1. 1.

    different-church-lady

    THEY WILL JUST TURN IT ALL BACK ON IN THEIR NEXT UPDATE. THEY HAVE A HISTORY OF IT. ARE YOU PEOPLE COMPLETELY NAIVE?

  2. 2.

    different-church-lady

    “Facebook will no longer allow third-parties to use our data to manipulate you emotionally. From this day forward that will be the exclusive right of Facebook. Click YES to accept.”

  3. 3.

    Ohio Mom

    I know next to nothing about Facebook (although I periodically consider joining) but aren’t they going to change all the settings as soon as people do what Fallows advises? Aren’t they always going to be one step ahead?

    ETA: I see Different Church Lady has already answered my question.

  4. 4.

    Bill

    I just don’t bother to use face-page or any of those other chat sites. I probably waste too much time here.

  5. 5.

    different-church-lady

    @Bill: But… but… HOW DO YOU STAY CONNECTED TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS?!? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

  6. 6.

    NotMax

    As it’s an Open Thread, a tidbit came across last night while looking something else up which found to be an interesting side road in history, the mystery of the first U.S. Postmaster General.

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    I’m probably long since hosed on Facebook since I’ve taken quizzes (sorry, friends and family!) but my two personal rules are that I don’t accept friend requests from anyone I don’t know personally and I never click on an ad I’m not actually interested in. I seem to have done a decent job of training the Facebook ad server to only show me funny t-shirts and writing conferences.

  8. 8.

    Ohio Mom

    @Bill: I miss a lot of news from far-flung family by not being on Facebook. Some local organizations I am interested in use Facebook for announcements and I also miss those.

    It sometimes seems a requirement of modern life to have an account.

  10. 10.

    different-church-lady

    @Ohio Mom:

    It sometimes seems a requirement of modern life to have an account.

    “BUT IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT YOU DON’T HAVE TO USE IT! IT’S JUST A PLATFORM!!! LEAVE FACEBOOK ALOOOOOONE!!!”

  12. 12.

    WhatsMyNym

    They haven’t changed my settings and I have them all opted out for years. But I only check in once and while to look at pics from distant family. All of the security in the world is worthless on that type of system, just don’t share things you don’t want shared.

    ETA: Don’t give them your real birthdate!!

  15. 15.

    Ohio Mom

    So far, the rules seem to be, don’t take quizzes and don’t click on ads. Don’t let just anybody be your friend (just like real life!). Anything else I should know if I ever commit to Facebook?

  16. 16.

    different-church-lady

    @zhena gogolia:

    if you get right down to it. I don’t know how to text either.

    Ah, finally, there’s someone in the world I can give my phone number to safely!

  20. 20.

    Mary G

    Facebook has definitely been reading my cookies, because they have a lot of the companies I buy from online in my ad settings.

  21. 21.

    Anne Laurie

    @different-church-lady: There are people whose jobs / avocations actually require them to have a Facebook account. There are (have been?) an increasing number of websites where one can’t interact without having a FB account — even, Murphy help us all, small-business ‘store’ sites that want their customers to use FB rather than keeping their own records. There are people with family members and friends and business contacts who don’t have the introverts’ option where we ask for a picture, get sent an unreadable FB link, and then ‘require’ them to find us a work-around.

    I mean, I also “chose” not to have a driver’s license, because I would be a bad driver. It can be done, with enough planning / financial slack. But that’s the fault of my own brain chemistry, not some kind of moral failure by all the people who *do* use cars — some of whom (my spouse, my friends, taxi drivers) I rely upon to support my not-self-driving choice.

  23. 23.

    different-church-lady

    @Anne Laurie:

    There are people whose jobs / avocations actually require them to have a Facebook account. There are (have been?) an increasing number of websites where one can’t interact without having a FB account — even, Murphy help us all, small-business ‘store’ sites that want their customers to use FB rather than keeping their own records.

    And that, in a nutshell, is why Facebook is so insidious: WE have allowed it to become “indispensible”. We got seduced, and coerced and hardly any of us resisted.

    The are manipulative, and they are omnivirous. And that, in my view, makes them evil.

  24. 24.

    BruceFromOhio

    @Anne Laurie: I mean, I also “chose” not to have a driver’s license, because I would be a bad driver.

    If others only had such wisdom. Daily I am confronted with drivers who have no business being in command of an automobile, and yet there they are in traffic.

  26. 26.

    sukabi

    I’m pretty sure opening a statement with a BIG FUCKING LIE negates the entire statement, but I could be wrong.

  27. 27.

    different-church-lady

    @Anne Laurie: Also, I should say I get your point: for those for whom it is an unfortunate necessity, Fallow’s info is extremly helpful. Sorry to sound like I was dismissing it — as regular observers will know, I frequently get too snarky.

    However, realistically this is something that requires CONSTANT vigilance. I was not kidding when I said they have a history.

  28. 28.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Anne Laurie: I have been on the Internet professionally for 30 years or so, and it still represents a substantial chunk of my work responsibilities, yet I manage just fine without a Facebook account.

  30. 30.

    Montysano

    I’ll be the odd man out, and am prepared to go down in flames, but social media, FB especially, has been a wonderful experience for me. I’ve reconnected with long-lost friends. I hang out in a few closed groups, dedicated to musicians/bands, and have had some of those cyber-friends become friends in the physical world. We’ve had meetups for shows, and now get together for general socializing.

    So I’ll keep on monitoring my settings and continue on.

  31. 31.

    different-church-lady

    Hey, what the hell, I’m all ranty, let’s get it all out…

    Today we ask ourselves, “How did we let Facebook be the conduit for all our communications?” Tomorrow we will be asking ourselves, “How did we let Amazon become the only store?”

  32. 32.

    FlyingToaster

    @different-church-lady: e-mail. telephone. texts (though those are often to the ten-year-old in the basement). Meeting at Uncommon Grounds for coffee. Meeting at Summer Shack for lunch. Meeting at Mary’s for Dim Sum.

    I may be a Luddite. Or I may be paranoid.

    It’s like the old saw in poker about the mark. Look to the left of you; look to the right. If you can’t see the product, then you are the product.

    For which I’d expect to be paid. Heh.

  33. 33.

    schrodingers_cat

    @different-church-lady: I found FB too intrusive, when I almost joined it a decade ago. I said to myself no way, am I signing up for this shit. I don’t need to know what my husband’s cousin in Delhi is doing, frankly neither my life nor the life of my acquaintances is all that fascinating.

  34. 34.

    Gin & Tonic

    @different-church-lady: The only constant in America is change. Sears, Roebuck & Co. used to be the indispensable retailer. Alta Vista used to be the only search engine worth using. MySpace was the social network where *everybody* hung out.

  36. 36.

    FlyingToaster

    @BruceFromOhio:

    Daily I am confronted with drivers who have no business being in command of an automobile, and yet there they are in traffic.

    And you’re only in Ohio. Imagine living amongst Massholes…

  37. 37.

    Ruckus

    @Gin & Tonic:
    There are, as stated above, businesses who work through FB. It isn’t that difficult to set up a web page so I don’t understand why they do this other than FB tells people that this is the best place to set up a page and rake in the customers. Gee I wonder who is doing the raking in here……..
    Maybe too many people are too damn trusting, mostly of all the wrong things/people.

  39. 39.

    dm

    @Gin & Tonic: I’m guessing that people who have been on the internet in a professional capacity since before HTTP existed probably don’t work for the kind of company that would require a Facebook account (except for those few who work for Facebook itself, or app developers working on apps that steal your data interact with the Book of Faces).

  40. 40.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Montysano: I’m not a hater, and I figure I’m relying on herd immunity with everything from on-line banking to my emails (which, as @schrodingers_cat: says, a spy would find really, really boring). There are friends and family I know I could be in closer touch with, but I know they’re all “friends” with acquaintances and relations I’m happy to be able to tell, ‘no I’m not on Facebook’, on those occasions when I’m forced to see them in the flesh.

  41. 41.

    mad citizen

    I joined FB a few years ago only to be able to interact with some websites that require, or make it easy to do so. I joined with an alias and false information. I just checked in on my page. It looks like I have zero friends, groups, etc.

  42. 42.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    I have foiled fb by reading rwnj pages and hate following a gun humping maga douche. I’ve never done one of those stupid quizzes. My wife on the other hand. Every one. Ugh.

  43. 43.

    different-church-lady

    @Ruckus:

    It isn’t that difficult to set up a web page so I don’t understand why they do this other than FB tells people that this is the best place to set up a page and rake in the customers.

    Mindshare — once you have it, you’re Godzilla.

  44. 44.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Gin & Tonic: Sears, Roebuck & Co. used to be the indispensable retailer.

    I heard a while back Amazon was thinking of getting into the auto market. I wonder if they’ll ever start selling houses

  47. 47.

    different-church-lady

    @FlyingToaster:

    Meeting at Uncommon Grounds for coffee.

    Watertown? Great breakfasts. Family owners, I think the guy’s father ran the service station that the building used to be.

  49. 49.

    Montysano

    @Ruckus:

    It isn’t that difficult to set up a web page

    True, but not nearly as easy as throwing up a post on social media.

    My weekend hobby is mixing sound at a local listening room, and occasionally booking and promoting shows. Most all of our acts play original music, and are new and not well known. So the ability to put up a video is really valuable. Promoting shows without social media would be a suicide mission.

    So to me, it’s a “baby with the bathwater” situation. I’d rather try to fix what’s wrong than quit and walk away.

  50. 50.

    different-church-lady

    @Montysano: There are these things called blogs. They’re cheap and even free. You type something and embed a video and hit post.

    The hold FB has over us is not technological, it’s psychological.

  51. 51.

    Montysano

    @different-church-lady:

    There are these things called blogs.

    So then I’d have dozens of bookmarks to separate blogs? That doesn’t thrill me. Besides, this very blog posts to FB. I scroll, and oh look, there’s a new post.

  52. 52.

    Major Major Major Major

    @different-church-lady: this is asinine. Those services you describe aren’t any “free”r than Facebook is. The free WordPress sites are supported by tracker-based advertising and spy cookies, your video will be through YouTube which is of course part of Google, which has just as much of your shit as Facebook.

  54. 54.

    different-church-lady

    @Major Major Major Major: I dunno about WordPress trackers on the paid version, but I do know the video content I put on my demo site is thru Vimeo. Which might have its own problems.

    What I do know that none of these alternatives do is be utterly relentless about making sure you waste as much of your time as possible there.

    Perhaps this is only a matter of degrees.

    The point I’m making is that Faceborg does not HAVE to be your only resource. It’s merely the one that “everyone” uses, so everyone uses it, no matter how flawed and manipulative it is.

    And personally, I’m mystified by this “ease” claim — I’ve always found the FB interface to be maddening and inscrutable.

  55. 55.

    Mnemosyne

    @Montysano:

    I belong to about a half-dozen writers’ groups on Facebook. It’s a very useful way to keep up with multiple groups at once.

    So then I’d have dozens of bookmarks to separate blogs?

    I’ve already been informed today that not wanting to check in with dozens of separate websites just shows that Americans are lazy and prize convenience over anything else.

  56. 56.

    Gretchen

    I enjoy the baby and vacation pictures of my friends and family, and get the blood flowing by fighting with my RWNJ brother about events of the day. He has been eerily silent lately – the only thing he’s posted in the last couple of weeks is complaining that kidz these days aren’t learning cursive. I wonder if even he is starting to be embarrassed by the news?

  57. 57.

    different-church-lady

    @Mnemosyne: It’s a wonder we ever bothered to struggle our way out of the swamps. MY GOD THE HORROR OF MULTIPLE WEBSITES!!!

  59. 59.

    afanasia

    @NotMax: Not being on Facebook eliminates a lot of noise. If people want me to know what that had for lunch, they need to call or text me. and I will pay attention, because I appreciate the effort. At one point, I’d shut off my voice mail to avoid messages about lunches, but there was a lot of blowback, so it went back on.

  61. 61.

    Ohio Mom

    @Ruckus: In my experience, those businesses with Facebook pages and no other web presence are mom-and-pop ethnic restaurants I am interested in trying out.

    Which reminds me, the site I can’t tolerate at all is Yelp.

  62. 62.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Elizabelle: I did the same. And found a note from a HS classmate whose daughter just was accepted by my alma mater and had some questions about it. It has its uses; it just needs to be used sensibly.

  64. 64.

    Fair Economist

    @different-church-lady:

    Facebook is cigarettes for your brain.

    Kind of literally, even. Facebook activities give you little jolts of dopamine. Gambling is an almost perfect analogy – engineered to give you enough rewards to keep you hooked while making you lose overall.

  65. 65.

    Fair Economist

    @Gin & Tonic:

    The only constant in America is change. Sears, Roebuck & Co. used to be the indispensable retailer. Alta Vista used to be the only search engine worth using. MySpace was the social network where *everybody* hung out.

    True but lately the changes have been to an even more manipulative replacement, so we are going downhill.

  66. 66.

    Gretchen

    @different-church-lady: We don’t have to, though. I don’t scroll through the whole newsfeed. I check my notifications: things that my actual friends have said. And I enjoy the closed group for local restaurants, for local politics, and a new one I just joined for local beer. I spend maybe 15 minutes a day, and all I look at is of personal interest to me. You don’t have to let it eat your life if you don’t want to.

  67. 67.

    Brachiator

    @different-church-lady:

    Today we ask ourselves, “How did we let Facebook be the conduit for all our communications?” Tomorrow we will be asking ourselves, “How did we let Amazon become the only store?”

    Easy question with an easy answer. I have ordered stuff from various online stores. Over time, Amazon has become the most efficient and convenient site, even as they have increased the variety of products they offer.

    Also, I have to remind people that no technology company has ever been able to hold onto users/customers forever. Tech savants have told me that IBM, Microsoft, Wordstar, dBase, Lotus 123, Ask Jeeves, Compuserve, Yahoo and MySpace would be powerful forever.

    Hell, a recent tech story notes that in the near future, more than 50 percent of Apple’s revenue will come from services, not from hardware, and especially not from the iPhone.

    This is not to say that Facebook is an innocent lamb, or that it should not be reined in. And maybe we need to start thinking about tech in New ways, because it is becoming more ubiquitous and embracing.

  68. 68.

    Ohio Mom

    @Gretchen: I’m with him on cursive. You need to know how to sign your name, and handwriting practice develops eye/hand coordination and fine muscle skills.

    It’s a nice break from hand other subjects for second and third graders (different schools teach cursive in different grades), and it really doesn’t take up all that much time.

    I don’t know how it became so controversial.

  69. 69.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Gretchen: I spend maybe 10 minutes a week on it. Until I did the Fallows thing today, the last time I was on the site was to wish my aunt a happy birthday on March 8.

  71. 71.

    Gretchen

    @Ohio Mom: Yes, my brother’s point was that kids can’t read historical documents if they can’t read cursive. And adults can send secret messages to each other if the kids can’t read cursive. As much as it hurts me to agree with my brother, he’s right on this one.

  72. 72.

    Gretchen

    @different-church-lady: It doesn’t have to eat everything, but it has its uses. I see pictures of my best friend’s grandchildren at least once or twice a week. I enjoy that very much, and it wouldn’t happen without Facebook. My brother and I were out of contact for many years. We have very limited contact now, but in the last week he liked a picture of my dog and one of my kids. I keep up with his kids and where he vacations. This is in contrast with literally years of no contact. I’ve met my daughter’s very serious boyfriend once. We just had a little exchange about the basketball championships. No big deal, but I want to have a good relationship with someone who seems very important in her life, and an easy way to exchange a casual comment every couple of weeks seems like it will help that along. Same with my other daughter who is marrying an east-coast man whose family I’ve met once. I have the chance to have little casual interactions with them. I don’t have these people’s phone numbers or email addresses. Facebook facilitates casual contacts that just wouldn’t happen otherwise. Sure, it has problems and dangers. But pretending that it has no upsides doesn’t help us plan.

  73. 73.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Steve in the ATL: And I remember it every year because it is my birthday if you write it Euro style and because my mom calls or emails to remind me that her sister’s nose will be out of joint if I don’t acknowledge her b-day.

  75. 75.

    Original Lee

    Sensible use is the key. I resisted joining for many years, and then a cousin passed away and everybody else was on FB making meetup and carpool arrangements and leaving me out because I was the only one not on FB. I, too, have reconnected with friends and family because of FB, in ways that I would not have been able to do as easily without it. For instance, just yesterday I was able to compare notes with my niece about our kitchen remodeling projects in our family’s private group and it was very cool to see what she and her spouse are doing with their house hundreds of miles away, and to share our saga with her. I was also able to get our street plowed out after the plow skipped it, simply by posting a photo of the unplowed street on the county’s FB page (with neighborhood and street info). Of course, I have had some unpleasant run-ins, but I was able to block or delete them.

  77. 77.

    arrieve

    @Gretchen: I agree. I refused to join Facebook for many years for all of the reasons listed. But I have cousins in the UK who will not email or phone. They communicate with each other via FB, and if I want to communicate with them without using an airplane, I had to join up as well. I check my feed maybe once a week. I post pictures when I have taken a big vacation — I do have a blog, where I write about my travels and post pictures several times a week and everyone in my family and most of my friends ignore it. So it’s Facebook or nothing. It’s easy enough to ignore what people are having for lunch but being able to see pictures of my cousin’s granddaughter on a regular basis turns out to be important to me. I’ve forged a connection with younger members of my extended family that simply wasn’t possible before.

    And you don’t have to be friends with anyone you don’t want to. I have a friend request from a woman who was a total bitch to me in high school and it will never be accepted.

  78. 78.

    Reformed Panty Sniffer

    @eric: Agreed. As a music fan, Facebook is great for following musicians (especially jazz and people not on the radio) and learning about upcoming shows and music. I also have a large family so FB is a good way to keep tabs on things. I mostly post pictures of my cat and whatever recipe I just tried to annoy people.

    I’ve been posting stuff about CA and Zuckerberg to spread the word amongst the family. I dropped all my settings to zero. I do think social media needs to be regulated around privacy and advertising/transparency. Companies that violate rules should be heavily fined and their CEOs held accountable. If Facebook had to use a subscription model, I think usage will drop significantly. Their business model is based on manipulation and it’s time to end it. Zuckerberg needs to testify publicly before Congress.

  79. 79.

    Dog Mom

    I am as usual late to the discussion. I resisted FB for a long time, but finally relented. I rarely post to my own timeline, but sometimes respond to others. I have tried to keep up with monitoring privacy settings. I am disgusted when I see friends sending memes and liking abhorrent stuff, especially after they have proclaimed their christianity and/or patriotism. My problem is that I have three dogs with chronic issues. I have joined a few support groups that have collected great information and have very knowledgeable admins. The shared info is wonderful and has honestly saved dogs lives. There are very specific testing protocols and dosing guidelines that general vets often are not up to date on. The admins are just regular folks, but managing the group on fb is certainly a time consuming challenge. Setting up a webpage or blog would be an even bigger endeavor. So my internal debate is do I support my dogs at the risk of damage to American Democracy?

  80. 80.

    Dog Mom

    @Reformed Panty Sniffer: I’m in IT – and can imagine all the data collected. So agree that privacy protection is necessary. I remember significant complaints about one of the ‘upgrades’ a few years ago – I tried to remind people that this was a service that they were not paying ‘cash’ for, Did they think FB was a charitable offering?

  81. 81.

    Olivia

    @Montysano: Same with me. I have made friends on Facebook that have become friends in life and I have reconnected with people I hadn’t been able to find before Facebook. The best part for me is that it helps me keep some people at arms length that I need to be connected with for one reason or another. Family and acquaintances with disagreeable political views are hidden but reachable if I need to communicate with them. I locked down my page from the beginning and I check the settings often. That I can recall, they have never reverted to default after updates. Between the ad blocker on my laptop and the settings I have chosen, I have never seen many ads and I would never click on them anyway.

  82. 82.

    sublime33

    Members can pay a fee to Facebook in order to boost a post. People I know who have extremist political views seem to get prime real estate in my Facebook feed. Is someone paying Facebook so these extreme posts get a more prominent viewing? And is that foreign money?

  83. 83.

    Olivia

    @sublime33: If you click the 3 dots at the top right of the post, you can change that. I hide all posts I don’t like and it doesn’t take long to drastically reduce the number of objectionable posts.

  84. 84.

    So just don't use the bloody thing, then!

    @different-church-lady: So, you’re saying you don’t like facebook, then? Cause it hasn’t been clear from your 8,000 posts on the subject in the past 24 hours.

  85. 85.

    sublime33

    @Olivia: My issue isn’t that this crap shows up on my Facebook feed. My issue is that maybe someone is paying Facebook to give these type of posts more visible exposure to the masses than standard posts. And if so, who is footing the bill?

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