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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it is a trap.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Everybody saw this coming.

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory.  oh, and pink furry handcuffs.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. keep building.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

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You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / My Succinct Take on Trump’s “Offer”

My Succinct Take on Trump’s “Offer”

by John Cole|  January 19, 20197:45 pm| 210 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45

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Sum total of Trump's Offer:

Robber: Hey, if you give me 5.7 billion I will give back some of the shit I stole.

Homeowner: Ok here is 5.7 billion.

Robber: Haha Thanks for the money now get fucked.

— Cake or Death (@Johngcole) January 19, 2019

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Previous Post: « Early Reviews Open Thread: Democratic Party Sensibly Rejects Hostage-Taker’s Demands
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Reader Interactions

210Comments

  1. 1.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)

    January 19, 2019 at 7:48 pm

    Yeah. Pretty much. Why anybody trusts this asshole is beyond me.

  2. 2.

    MobiusKlein

    January 19, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    All I have to say is

    Nancy Smash!

    She had a surprise visit to the woman’s march in San Francisco, and was warmly received.
    Pics to follow.

  3. 3.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    John. This is your finest hour.

  4. 4.

    Another Scott

    January 19, 2019 at 7:53 pm

    I like that the news reporting I’ve heard has been parsing Donnie’s offer while ignoring most of the context of how we got here.

    Nancy and Chuck cut to the heart of the problem, as you did:

    Sensible legislators cannot bargain with hostage takers.

    Nothing can happen about coming to an agreement with Donnie and Mitch until the government re-opens. Nancy is right and I hope and expect her to stay strong. Chuck has a weaker hand, being in the minority in the Senate, but as long as 60 votes are needed for cloture then he needs to stay strong as well.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  5. 5.

    Yarrow

    January 19, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    Three new posts almost at the very same time. Some kind of record?

  6. 6.

    WaterGirl

    January 19, 2019 at 7:57 pm

    @Yarrow: I won’t complain! There’s always room for one more open BJ tab in my browser. :-)

  7. 7.

    JPL

    January 19, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    @Immanentize: Is it snowing yet?

  8. 8.

    rikyrah

    January 19, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    Kelly-Jo Bluen (@KellyJoBluen) Tweeted:
    On the tinder date in the coffee shop I’m at the dude said, “I get where it was coming from but I think the Gillette ad went too far” and the woman said “I think this date is over” and walked out unceremoniously and now he’s sitting here alone with his patriarchy looking stunned

    https://twitter.com/KellyJoBluen/status/1086702462885605376?s=17

  9. 9.

    Yarrow

    January 19, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    @WaterGirl: You must be talking about my browser. I’m so bad about closing tabs. Days later I’ll have a marathon tab-closing session (who says my life isn’t exciting?) and most of them are Balloon-Juice tabs or something I’ve clicked through to from a B-J post.

  10. 10.

    piratedan

    January 19, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    this was the blog post when John Cole truly became Presidential….

  11. 11.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    @JPL: Barely. Starts at 11 now. Maybe….

  12. 12.

    dmsilev

    January 19, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    A. Lincoln:

    A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear, and mutters through his teeth, “Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!”

    To be sure, what the robber demanded of me – my money – was my own; and I had a clear right to keep it; but it was no more my own than my vote is my own; and the threat of death to me, to extort my money, and the threat of destruction to the Union, to extort my vote, can scarcely be distinguished in principle.

  13. 13.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    @WaterGirl: The many feet! They are BIG!

  14. 14.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    Donnie keeps saying “I want Wall, I need Wall, I demand Wall,” and Nancy keeps saying “No,” and I finally realised that it all reminds me of this great poem I learned in elementary school:

    Overheard on a Saltmarsh

    Nymph, nymph, what are your beads?

    Green glass, goblin. Why do you stare at them?

    Give them me.

    No.

    Give them me. Give them me.

    No.

    Then I will howl all night in the reeds,
    Lie in the mud and howl for them.

    Goblin, why do you love them so?

    They are better than stars or water,
    Better than voices of winds that sing,
    Better than any man’s fair daughter,
    Your green glass beads on a silver ring.

    Hush, I stole them out of the moon.

    Give me your beads, I want them.

    No.

    I will howl in the deep lagoon
    For your green glass beads, I love them so.
    Give them me. Give them.

    No.

    – Harold Monro (1879 – 1932)

    Love that poem.

  15. 15.

    Sab

    January 19, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Sigh.

    Trump is incapable of negotiating.

    Call your Republican senators. McConnell has to negotiate with Shumer and Pelosi. There’s no one else. We can’t have the government shut down for the next two years.

  16. 16.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    @JPL: To add, not snowing much, but the white wine is available before the fire.

  17. 17.

    FlyingToaster

    January 19, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    This is right up there with anthrax and tire irons… Well done!

  18. 18.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Ah yes. Quite perfect.

  19. 19.

    The Dangerman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    Seems to me to be worse than that because things like Debt Ceiling are coming up; Donnie will hold those hostage, too, because one you pay off the Robber, he always comes back for more….

  20. 20.

    WaterGirl

    January 19, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    @rikyrah: That is totally awesome.

  21. 21.

    Another Scott

    January 19, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    @dmsilev: Perfect.

    Thanks for the reminder.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  22. 22.

    WaterGirl

    January 19, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: That’s a keeper!

  23. 23.

    Baud

    January 19, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    @dmsilev:

    A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear, and mutters through his teeth, “Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!”

    Both sides!

  24. 24.

    jeffreyw

    January 19, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    That is cool. A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear, and mutters through his teeth, “Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!”

    –Some Guy

  25. 25.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    @Yarrow: I started mine and no one was drafting anything. Finished it, hit post, went to make dinner, checked the site and went: WTF?

  26. 26.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    @Yarrow: How’s your uncle doing?

  27. 27.

    WaterGirl

    January 19, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    Do any of you have the issue where your browser loses your place on BJ, and in order to find your place again you have to think of a key word from the comment you were on when it happened?

    If you use the find feature and the word is something like dungeon or arbitrary or elementary, you’re in pretty good shape. You might find 2 or 7 matches, which you can then quickly run through.

    But sometimes the word you remember is fuck or motherfucker or dick and Find comes back with 47 matches. It’s slightly annoying, but I always laugh when that happens. Why yes, that did just happen now, why do you ask?

  28. 28.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    @Baud: Stand and Deliver? Your money or your life.
    Adam Ant

  29. 29.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 8:17 pm

    BTW, I know this is just incredibly petty of me, but my hackles go up every.single.time Trump (or anyone) refers to the “Democrat Party.” It irks me enough in informal, off-the-cuff remarks; but in a scripted speech, such as this afternoon’s, it is deliberate and infuriating. (I know it’s meant to be infuriating, and they are probably gleeful at this easy way to pwn the libs, but it seems to me that negotiating in good faith should at least include a show of respect for one’s opponent.)

    Stephen Miller’s contribution, I expect.

  30. 30.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: But rest easy in the fact that within their almost complete focus on “owning the libs” lies their demise.

  31. 31.

    Steve in the ATL

    January 19, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    @Immanentize:

    To add, not snowing much, but the white wine is available before the fire.

    Just rain here, therefore we are drinking red.

  32. 32.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    I just make a mental note of the comment number I was reading when I left the site to follow a link or open a tweet or whatever. Then when I return to the page, I simply scroll down to the comment I was on and pick things up from there.

  33. 33.

    Jay Noble

    January 19, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    If Democrats give in, they essentially give Trump (and any President to follow) the Line Item Veto.

  34. 34.

    Yarrow

    January 19, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: Well, he’s better than he was. He’s out of the hospital and home. They were supposed to have home health set up when they left the hospital but of course that didn’t get done so everyone was scrambling yesterday. Meanwhile, his wife who was also in the hospital is home and not doing well, so it’s a bit of a mess.

    Last I heard she refuses to allow a caregiver in the house. That’s pretty common and doesn’t surprise me. No kids or any other family live anywhere close to them so it’s not easy for family to be there. I anticipate one of them will end up back in a hospital because that’s how this kind of thing goes.

  35. 35.

    Yarrow

    January 19, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    @WaterGirl: Yep. Happens to me. It’s a pain when it’s a long thread. If I use the back arrow sometimes it totally messes it up and I’m completely lost as to where I was. Part of the charm of Balloon-Juice.

  36. 36.

    Ruckus

    January 19, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    That’s republican code for neener, neener, neener……
    It’s really been their stick for my entire life to find a point of contention and then harp on it continuously. Damn annoying brats.

  37. 37.

    The Dangerman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    I wonder if the TSA all decided to call in sick at a strategic location – let’s say Atlanta – and at a strategic time – let’s say, right after the Super Bowl – things would get done.

    Something “bad” has to happen to end this thing. Hopefully, it won’t be THAT bad and only lack of convenience and not loss of life.

    ETA: Although being stuck in Atlanta for an extra day or so wouldn’t be that inconvenient, especially for the lodging locales.

  38. 38.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    @Yarrow: Glad to hear they’re doing better and sorry to read about the ongoing issues. Keeping good thoughts.

  39. 39.

    Steve in the ATL

    January 19, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    But sometimes the word you remember is fuck or motherfucker or dick and Find comes back with 47 matches.

    And that’s why we love this place!

  40. 40.

    Yarrow

    January 19, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: Thank you and thank you for asking.

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    January 19, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I always open links in a new tab, though. This happens sometimes when either BJ or FYWP seems to lose its mind when I refresh the page, and it doesn’t bring me back to the right place.

  42. 42.

    WaterGirl

    January 19, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    @Yarrow: We’ll have to make sure that beloved feature remains as part of the BJ website rebuild. :-)

  43. 43.

    rikyrah

    January 19, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    Carol Fitzpatrick (@crl_fitzpatrick) Tweeted:
    I would bet serious money that there are Covington Catholic kids who have been bullied by these MAGA kids in the past, and have seen it go unchallenged by adults. This behavior was not a one-time thing, it just so happened that this time they caught it on camera.

    https://twitter.com/crl_fitzpatrick/status/1086790845045579776?s=17

  44. 44.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    @Ruckus:

    It is very bratty, and I know full well I shouldn’t let it rile me the way it does. My reaction just plays into their hands. But I still maintain — subject, of course, to correction from @Steve Back in the Rainy, Windy ATL — that if you intend to negotiate anything in good faith, you don’t begin by insulting or annoying the other party right out of the gate.

  45. 45.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 19, 2019 at 8:35 pm

    @Immanentize:
    You beat me to it.

    Eh, I’ll link it anyway: Stand and Deliver!

  46. 46.

    WaterGirl

    January 19, 2019 at 8:35 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: Absolutely!

  47. 47.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 8:37 pm

    @Immanentize:

    But rest easy in the fact that within their almost complete focus on “owning the libs” lies their demise.

    I do hope you’re right.

  48. 48.

    jl

    January 19, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: There is a saying in show biz: get new material or get a new audience.

    For big elections there is only one audience. For years listening to their material has been like huffing fumes out of a nearly empty gas tank . All but the in some way or another brain damaged are ready to heave.

  49. 49.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:47 pm

    @rikyrah: As I wrote earlier:

    I went to a Jesuit high school. If I or my classmates had done that we’d have been expelled already. And the Catholic ones would’ve been turned over to their diocesan and parish leaders for months of remedial penance.

  50. 50.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:48 pm

    @Yarrow: You’re welcome.

  51. 51.

    John Revolta

    January 19, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I know, right? And yet…………….he just can’t help being an asshole.

    It’s fascinating.

  52. 52.

    Jay

    January 19, 2019 at 8:53 pm

    “Unless something radical changes – and it may, precisely because of the desperate plight we are now in – then it seems highly likely that Britain will leave the EU with no deal. That will mean that in ten weeks’ time we will face severe economic and social dislocation, with the probability of food and medicine shortages, troops on the street, disruptions to travel and much else.

    It would be an outcome desired by only a tiny minority of grossly irresponsible ideologues in parliament and amongst the public. The division, crisis and extremism it would unleash make that feared were there to be another referendum, or even a revocation of Article 50 without a vote, seem like a walk in the park”

    http://chrisgreybrexitblog.blogspot.com/2019/01/a-dangerous-political-void.html?m=1

  53. 53.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 19, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    @jl:

    For big elections there is only one audience. For years listening to their material has been like huffing fumes out of a nearly empty gas tank . All but the in some way or another brain damaged are ready to heave

    It does seem like Trump’s support is on shaky ground, as evidenced by polls. I suspect, when it comes to parts of his coalition such as evangelicals and such, that they’re showing greater disapproval because they’re perceiving him as weak with these so-called compromises. Coulter and the like are hammering him about this.

  54. 54.

    JanieM

    January 19, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    @Immanentize: Take me wife, I’m savin’ me money for me old age.

    ETA: Sorry, I read and replied too quickly. There’s an old joke:

    “Your money or your wife…….”

    “Take me wife…..”

  55. 55.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    @Jay: Gove, Johnson, and company are not exactly the sharpest knives in the plastic chopstick drawer.

  56. 56.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    @JanieM: Chef’s humor: Who was that ladle I saw you with last night? That was no ladle, that was my knife.

  57. 57.

    Dave L

    January 19, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    @rikyrah:

    Solid hunch.

    Read this thread:

    https://twitter.com/leahmcelrath/status/1086777250517790720?s=19

  58. 58.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 19, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Chef’s humor: Who was that ladle I saw you with last night? That was no ladle, that was my knife.

    That’s a prime dad joke if I ever saw one. I do like dad jokes though : )

  59. 59.

    sdhays

    January 19, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    @Sab: The only interesting thing out of the offer today is that McConnell has realized that he’s going to have to make this happen; the ASSet’s plan is to yell impotently at the TV box and tweet his normal crap and House Democrats are not going to cower and give in. So it turns out McConnell actually is part of the equation. Funny how that works…

  60. 60.

    Brachiator

    January 19, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    Is Trump that stupid, or just that stubborn?

    John Cole’s analogy is dead on. But it is nuts to think that Trump and his brain trust (Pence, Jared and whoever) came up with this empty gesture.

    Meanwhile, federal workers and contractors continue to suffer.

  61. 61.

    Jay

    January 19, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Aayup, Brexiteers are morons.

    Chris Grey has been blogging the process from day one, and on day one he called Hard Brexit, because of whom the Brexiteers (even the voters) were. Kakistocracy rules.

  62. 62.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 19, 2019 at 9:07 pm

    @Jay:
    I feel so sorry for the people who voted to Remain as well as those too young to vote at all. Everyone is going to suffer because of stupidity and lies.

  63. 63.

    Steeplejack

    January 19, 2019 at 9:08 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    God, I spent way too much time last night pruning my open Firefox tabs down from 135! I think that was a record. And most of them were Balloon Juice posts going back to last weekend. I got it down to 30-something, and now it’s already back up to 51.

  64. 64.

    sdhays

    January 19, 2019 at 9:08 pm

    @Brachiator:

    Is Trump that stupid, or just that stubborn?

    Yes.

  65. 65.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??: I’m single and have no kids.

  66. 66.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    @WaterGirl: Or Shitler. Or tantrum. Then it can take a while to find your place again. Very annoying.

  67. 67.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 19, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    @Steeplejack:
    I have the exact same problem on my phone. I have hundreds of tabs open on my Chrome browser. I occasionally trim them down, but it’s a real chore to do and choosing what to get rid of is also difficult.

  68. 68.

    jl

    January 19, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??: I mentioned some polling data on evangelical support for Trump a while back on this here very blog. The sad news is, Trump has seen very little loss of support from the oldster white evangelicals, as of last year or so. But there is substantial loss of support among younger evangelicals.

    These damn kids these days, even white evangelicals, don’t have a proper and healthy respect for vile hypocrisy anymore.
    But, among the oldsters, seems like fact that they are one of the most loyal groups to Trump is evidence that their odd sect of Christianity is really a cover for authoritarianism, patriarchy, racism, and other varieties of general bigotry.

  69. 69.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: You can also search the comment number and pick it up a bit faster.

  70. 70.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    @Dave L: The parish priest also appears to be on that trip with the kidiots.

  71. 71.

    jl

    January 19, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: ” I’m single and have no kids. ”
    That is no excuse for laughing at a dad joke.
    Or did you not laugh?

  72. 72.

    Bill Arnold

    January 19, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    @Immanentize:

    But rest easy in the fact that within their almost complete focus on “owning the libs” lies their demis

    Makes ’em easily predictable. (And for that matter, manipulable.)

  73. 73.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    @Melusine:

    Not on the phone, alas.

  74. 74.

    Quinerly

    January 19, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    @Dave L: I posted this on a dying thread. Me thinks there are lots of problems at Covington.
    https://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/boone-county/burlington/former-covington-catholic-basketball-player-charged-with-rape-sodomy

  75. 75.

    Baud

    January 19, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Works for me.

  76. 76.

    jl

    January 19, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??: In fact, IIRC, a substantial fraction of younger Evangelicals are removing themselves from the Evangelical movement.

    Again, I say, these damned kids these days don’t have a proper respect for hypocrisy.
    I didn’t see numbers on the overlap of loss of support for Trump among younger Evangelicals and decision to leave Evangelical movement, but I imagine it must be substantial.

  77. 77.

    Yutsano

    January 19, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    @The Dangerman:

    ETA: Although being stuck in Atlanta for an extra day or so wouldn’t be that inconvenient, especially for the lodging locales.

    Having “been there and done that” I must respectfully disagree with you sir. However my misadventure was because of a massive computer meltdown that Delta never tested their backup system for. THAT was a pretty terrible experience.

  78. 78.

    plato

    January 19, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    Another aged white guy with entitlement issues.

  79. 79.

    Miss Bianca

    January 19, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Never seen that poem before nor heard of the poet, but I *love* them both, now!

  80. 80.

    TS (the original)

    January 19, 2019 at 9:22 pm

    @rikyrah: “they did it because they like to be cruel” – fit right in with the US president*

  81. 81.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 9:22 pm

    Holy crap!

    They may not have the $$ after shelling out $120 million to the children that were sexually abused by the Covington Diocese, which runs the school. pic.twitter.com/ToPDyq2n1s

    — Tia.Barricini (@TiaBarricini) January 19, 2019

  82. 82.

    japa21

    January 19, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: My son teaches at a Jesuit HS. After Trump was elected, incidents of harassment of female students and minorities increased. Several students were no longer around not too long after. My son was one of several teachers who made their classrooms safe zones. Although he still considers it such it has rarely needed to be one. Like your school, they don’t put up with this shit.

  83. 83.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    Dad jokes? Okay…

    Did you hear about the new restaurant they’re building in outer space?

    Great food. No atmosphere.

  84. 84.

    Miss Bianca

    January 19, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    @Jay: I had occasion to trot this oldie-but-goodie out from Friedrich Schiller, just the other day around this joint:

    Folly, thou conquerest, and I must yield! Against stupidity the very gods/Themselves contend in vain.

  85. 85.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    It takes a very special combination of narcissism and stupidity to refuse to pay the people whose job it is to take a bullet for you. I wouldn’t blame any of his agents for ducking at this point. “There were cameras present. He hated it when we blocked his photo ops.”

    Every time they’re asked about Wall Dems should respond, “5.7 billion isn’t enough to build a wall across the entire border, it certainly isn’t enough to maintain it, let alone paying all the landowners whose property the administration would have to seize to build it on, and why don’t don’t you ask Berlin how well the Wall worked out for them? In the meantime, our party will be focusing on increasing the number of agents in vulnerable areas and developing advanced technological solutions to fight illegal trafficking today and in the coming decades. “

  86. 86.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

    Let out a little wine.

  87. 87.

    dww44

    January 19, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    @Sab: Now there’s the rob. The person doing the real hostage taking is McConnell himself. He’s no more a leader of half of the co-equal branch of government than I am. He’s already said that he won’t introduce any legislation until Trump and Democrats reach an agreement. Talk about undemocratic and power mad McConnell is the very definition. I hope I live to see his name and reputation appropriately sullied and disgraced.

  88. 88.

    Gravenstone

    January 19, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: Seems like there might be some more systemic issues with that particular diocese, let alone their charges.

  89. 89.

    cain

    January 19, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    @Dave L:
    Did you hear about one of their alumni who sexually assaulted a girl till she bled? Yeah man, great alumni you are churning out. It looks like the entire school puts out just white entitled assholes. Kinda reminds me of that video game – Gauntlet where you have small hill of skulls that generate goblins. That’s what that school is.

  90. 90.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    @japa21: You don’t mess with the Society! I only did freshman to junior year with them. My dad took his leave of absence from the university my senior year, so I graduated from a public high school in the Denver burbs. My senior year was basically a year long vacation. Despite it being a very good school, it wasn’t a Jesuit high school. I learned a lot of very important things as a student at Jesuit high school, and only some of them from the academics.

  91. 91.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    How do you make holy water?

    Boil the hell out of it.

  92. 92.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 19, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:
    You don’t have to be a dad to tell jokes. It’s like a frame of mind or style.

  93. 93.

    cain

    January 19, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    @jl:

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: In fact, IIRC, a substantial fraction of younger Evangelicals are removing themselves from the Evangelical movement.

    Well fuck, that means they are going to go find new recruits in other countries. Assholes.

  94. 94.

    jl

    January 19, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    How did dad’s get a monopoly on bad jokes? Is this not a sad remnant of an oppressive patriarchy? Why are the right thinking commenters on America’s premier almost top 10,00 lefty blog putting up with this barbaric concept?

    What about tragically unhip non-dads, like Silverman, who clearly feels left out? Can he not tell a bad joke?
    Are we accusing moms of only being able to tell good jokes? Where does this madness lead?
    (probably to the kind of time machine that only allows you kill baby Hitler, or something like that, but will never take you to a Roman orgy.)

    What does dad joke mean?
    ” The term dad joke is recorded as early as 1987 in a Pennsylvania newspaper, which noted dad jokes as making kids and wives wince. And, they have been doing so ever since. ”
    https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/dad-joke/

  95. 95.

    schrodingers_cat

    January 19, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    @Steeplejack: And here I was thinking that 15 open tabs was too much!@Adam L Silverman: I went to an all girls Catholic school from kindergarten to 10th and this type of behavior would neither have been tolerated nor condoned.

  96. 96.

    jl

    January 19, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??: Thanks for info.

  97. 97.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    You say you want more? Okay…

    I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.

  98. 98.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 19, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    @Gravenstone: I’m beginning to think so.

  99. 99.

    dww44

    January 19, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m absolutely with you on this one and have been for years. Truth is, saying the Democrat party and not the Democratic party is commonplace in the right wing world and was done to begin with just to ruffle our feathers. So much so that folks who are ostensibly non-partisan and knowledgeable now do it. A year or so ago that guy from the AJC who hosts The Political Rewind show on Georgia Public Radio used it and I emailed him. He was genuinely surprised and nonplussed and apologized. He had no idea anyone would be offended by that.

    One come back I’ve said to folks who do this is to say “What if I said the Republic party and not the Republican party? Makes them think, sometimes!

  100. 100.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

    I’ll let you know.

  101. 101.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 19, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??:
    @jl:
    That was supposed to be, “You don’t have to be a dad to tell dad jokes.”

  102. 102.

    jl

    January 19, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    ‘bad joke’, ‘dad joke’

    I wonder if the whole business started with a simple typo, and it’s just a misunderstanding that has gotten out of hand.
    Much ado about nothing, which fits since it is a bad joke/dad joke kind of play.

  103. 103.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: You don’t have a Find option in your phone browser? That does suck.

    I sometimes forget to close the Find bar at the bottom of the screen and the bump and wonder why I’m scrolling again.

  104. 104.

    Patricia Kayden

    January 19, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    @Brachiator: Trump doesn’t care about the 800,000 federal employees or the contractors. It’s my understanding that he never even mentioned them in his press conference.

  105. 105.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Also, I love your nym.

  106. 106.

    debbie

    January 19, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    @rikyrah:

    It amuses me that this week’s #RightToLife march was all all about our vaginas, but will only be remembered for their assholes. pic.twitter.com/rGJ0MqSufu— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) January 19, 2019

  107. 107.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    And the Catholic Church when Ratzinger was Pope felt it necessay to investigate nuns.

  108. 108.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    How do Canadians spell Canada?

    C, eh. N, eh. D, eh.

  109. 109.

    debbie

    January 19, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I believe it was Frank Luntz who came up with that, back during the Obama administration.

  110. 110.

    The Dangerman

    January 19, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    I’ll spare you the whole joke (it’s kinda long) and just type the punch line:

    “Pardon my, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”

    Hmmm. Doesn’t work well typed. So sad.

  111. 111.

    Ruckus

    January 19, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    @The Dangerman:
    I’ve been stuck at ATL and found out that sleeping on the terminal floor was better than the airline arranged location. Now if you know the area there are some nice hotels downtown. Fellow employee and I found one care of the women sitting next to me on the plane on 9/11. Her cell wouldn’t work, I loaned her mine so she could contact her friends who worked in the WTC. Their luck the company was having a meeting of some sort in Atlanta and everyone was on the way there rather than at work that day. We got a room for an exorbitant price at her hotel, the airlines had used up all the crappy ones they normally send you to.

  112. 112.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    @debbie: ?????

  113. 113.

    Plato

    January 19, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    @debbie: lol. Nicely done, Mrs Bowers.

  114. 114.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    Here’s one for all you dog lovers out there in BJ land…

    What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

    A Labracadabrador!

    (My granddaughter loves that one)

  115. 115.

    zhena gogolia

    January 19, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    @Plato:

    Mrs. Bowers keeps me sane.

  116. 116.

    Quinerly

    January 19, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker: perhaps right down your alley… Do you know “I Used to Work in Chicago?”

  117. 117.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    @debbie:

    I suspect it goes back even further, at least to the Clinton administration. I would have blamed Newt for it myself, but Luntz as originator makes sense. Newt was quick to pick up on it, though!

  118. 118.

    Timurid

    January 19, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I went to fucking Georgetown Prep. As we all learned on the news, there were kids there capable of such behavior. I knew a few of them (not the famous ones). But if they acted like that in public, on a school trip, they would have been punished. One big difference was that it is a Jesuit school, and their politics (aside from on abortion) were to the left of many other Catholic schools…

  119. 119.

    The Dangerman

    January 19, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    Oh, cool, animal jokes:

    How did the little Scottish dog react when he met Big Foot?

    He was Terrier-fied!

  120. 120.

    Gravenstone

    January 19, 2019 at 9:58 pm

    @debbie: It extends at least back to Newt Gingrich and his efforts to demonize Democrats in general. His breaking the norms within the House was a major step in empowering the current assholes running the Republican side of things.

  121. 121.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    @Quinerly: …at a department store. A woman came in and wanted to buy a yacht. Seamen she got.

    I don’t really get that one myself.

    It’s more of an old drinking song than a joke, actually.

  122. 122.

    captnkurt

    January 19, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I wonder what the reaction would be if Nancy started consistently referring to the opposition as “The Republic Party”?

    Edit: I see I got beat to the punch on this upthread

  123. 123.

    John Revolta

    January 19, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    I…………doesn’t having all those tabs open make things run kinda slow? I seldom have more than 4 or 5 going at once and sometimes that creates problems. In fact, BJ is one of the worst offenders.
    Mind you, my computer is nearly ten years old………………..could this have anything to do with it?

  124. 124.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    January 19, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: Wait, now we have to worry about the weather when deciding what wine to drink? It’s not enough to sweat out the meat/fish thing?

    Personally, I prefer white wines with… nothing. I’m just not fond of them. I just find dry red wines cozy somehow, not that I have it that often. So I’ll order red with my chicken or fish dish, even if the waiter is silently judging me. I know nothing about wine anyway, so I’m sure he’s already judging me on which red I choose even if red is appropriate.

  125. 125.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    @The Dangerman: What do dogs and cell phones have in common?

    They both have collar ID.

  126. 126.

    debbie

    January 19, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Wikipedia says it goes back as far as 1890, but here’s my favorite bit:

    Complaints about the term “Democrat Party” can be found in the lamestream media [sic]. New Yorker Magazine commentator Hendrik Hertzberg wrote: “There’s no great mystery about the motives behind this deliberate misnaming. ‘Democrat Party’ is a slur, or intended to be – a handy way to express contempt. Aesthetic judgments are subjective, of course, but ‘Democrat Party’ is jarring verging on ugly.”[

  127. 127.

    trollhattan

    January 19, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    France women beat USWNT today 3-1, ending our 28-game unbeaten streak. Nicely done France, game on for this summer’s WWC. Whod’a thunk France would become a soccer powerhouse?

  128. 128.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    @Miss Bianca:

    It’s a wonderful poem, isn’t it? I enjoy thinking (sometimes saying out loud) the simple word “No.” in a variety of inflections. Amused, exasperated, decisive, fierce.

  129. 129.

    Ruckus

    January 19, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker:
    Say it out loud.

  130. 130.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 10:08 pm

    Two racehorses are running neck-to-neck. One turns to the other and says, “Your pace is familiar but I can’t place your mane.

  131. 131.

    Jinchi

    January 19, 2019 at 10:08 pm

    Coming soon:

    Robber: Toss in another 5.7 billion and I’ll give back the kids I took, too.

  132. 132.

    Another Scott

    January 19, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Unfortunately, GoogleTrends only goes back to January 2004, but it says “Democrat Party” peaked in October 2004 – just in time for W’s re-election.

    Wikipedia has more.

    Everyone has their buttons, and I understand the annoyance, but…

    YMMV!

    [ I see debbie in #126 beat me to the punch. ]

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  133. 133.

    Ruckus

    January 19, 2019 at 10:12 pm

    @John Revolta:
    Could be not enough memory.
    Also I noticed that some browsers don’t handle too many tabs open well, the number for too many varies. I’ve had over 200 open on Firefox, which used to not like that at all but updated to current seems fine with it, almost the same on Safari but Chrome didn’t like that the last time I tried it.

  134. 134.

    Sally

    January 19, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    I read the comments of people insisting that it is inappropriate to criticise the Covington HS boys, or demand punishment or accountability for their deplorable (there’s that word again) actions. However, a black child killed for waving a toy gun, or walking home in the rain wearing a hoodie, is blamed for their own misfortune. Black children, younger than these teenagers who looked to be around 16 – 18 years of age, are, in many states, tried as adults and sent to gaol for life, because they must be held accountable. Don’t these CHS kids have similar agency? They can involve themselves in politics flaunting their misogyny, surely they have the agency to be accountable for their seething racism. The marches and the marchers are there to strip the rights of women and families of access to healthcare. Medical procedures (including terminations) and hormone therapy (encompasses contraception) is healthcare, and not just women’s healthcare. It doesn’t “only” involve women, who are daughters, sisters, mothers, wives and people who live and work in communities. The nasty school in the nasty Diocese bussed these students there as props, and is now hurt that the world points and sees them for what they are. They are truly the poster children of their movement. Cry me a river.

  135. 135.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: I generally prefer whites, on the semi-sweet to dry side, served room temperature because when they’re chilled all you taste are the sweet notes. Blech. Get massive side-eye from waiters/bartenders when I ask if I can a glass not-chilled.

  136. 136.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    @dww44:

    that guy from the AJC who hosts The Political Rewind show on Georgia Public Radio

    Bill Nigut?

    Denis O’Hayer, who is a very decent guy (if occasionally a little bothsidery for my taste) doesn’t use “Democrat” as an adjective himself, but his GA GOP guests on WABE do it constantly without any pushback, and sometimes I just wish a motherfucker would.

  137. 137.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    This one is as old as the hills on your grandmother’s chest….

    If I wear my New Jersey, what will Delaware?

    Idaho, Alaska.

  138. 138.

    Bill Arnold

    January 19, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    @John Revolta:

    doesn’t having all those tabs open make things run kinda slow? I seldom have more than 4 or 5 going at once and sometimes that creates problems. In fact, BJ is one of the worst offenders.

    On a macbook pro i’ve found many open tabs/windows (>100/>20) to be a serious performance problem. Windows and Linux, no problem. (Typically >300/>50)
    For chrome, The Great Suspender is very helpful. Script blockers are also helpful. uBlock Origin, Noscript (firefox), and Scriptsafe (chrome), Privacy Badger. NoScript can cause performance problems unfortunately. (Haven’t found anything helpful for Safari but not a fan.)

  139. 139.

    John Revolta

    January 19, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    @Ruckus: I oughta switch to Firefox. I use Safari mostly and I don’t know why other than I’m a creature of habit.

  140. 140.

    Ruckus

    January 19, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:
    What’s appropriate is what you like. Wine snobs shouldn’t be able to tell you what wine to drink, the one you like is always best. It may overpower some foods but you are the one drinking it. Drinking the “right” wine is like owning the current “best” car or the clothing with the current ‘best” label. Drink what you like, drive the car you like and wear whatever you like.

  141. 141.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker:

    Yeah, who were the only true Canadians to serve as Prime minister?

    Sir John, eh?

    and

    Sir Wilfrid Lauri, eh?

  142. 142.

    Elizabelle

    January 19, 2019 at 10:21 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker: I loved the Labracadabrador joke.

  143. 143.

    Ruckus

    January 19, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    @John Revolta:
    I’m on a 3 yr old iMac with 8gigs and when I first changed from a windows box I used Firefox. But it kept getting wonkier and wonkier so I switched to Safari and have had no issues. It may work best on Apple stuff, updated regularly.

  144. 144.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    @Elizabelle: Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Try the roast beef! And don’t forget to tip your waitress!

  145. 145.

    Steve in the ATL

    January 19, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: I can’t drink white at all, so it’s red for me, whether chicken, fish, chocolate, whatever.

  146. 146.

    Quinerly

    January 19, 2019 at 10:28 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker: It was one of my dad’s favorites. I guess it goes back to WW2. He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket but started singing it to me around age 7. I would giggle. Probably didn’t understand most of it but later it was a bonding thing for us. It always started with “a lady came in and asked for hat, I asked her what kind at the door.” I won’t finish b/c not a good song in the #metoo times. Times change. Corny Dad stuff. That lady was always asking for stuff… gloves, shoes, a drink…. Doesn’t translate well now….. I still laugh, though.

  147. 147.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    @Melusine:

    Also, I love your nym.

    As I do yours! Do you know Mendelssohn’s concert overture Die schöne Melusine? Although I’ve never learned to swim myself, I’ve always had a fascination with stories and legends of water-sprites — The Little Mermaid, the Lorelei, Melusine, Rusalka, Ondine, Rhinemaidens, the Oceanides, the lot.

    My nym is merely a crude translation of my maiden name into Scots Gaelic, abetted by some word-play. I’ve used it since 1953.

  148. 148.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    @Quinerly: It’s a really old song. Pre-dates WWII. There are endless verses, but they all start the same.

    “I used to work in Chicago, at an old department store. A woman came in and wanted a…”

    My favorite one I can no longer remember the setup but the ending was “Mine Shaft.”

    And yeah… maybe we should leave this one to our boyhood memories.

  149. 149.

    geg6

    January 19, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    I happen to know one of the nation’s most knowledgeable people on the subject of wine. His restaurant has been named the top or top three wine cellars for American wines in the nation. He taught me a lot but the most important thing he taught me was to find out what you like and drink it with whatever you wish to eat. It’s all well and good to have a sommelier or do massive research to pair your wines with your dishes for a special occasion if you wish to. But it’s best to just enjoy what you’re drinking. Wine pretensions are just bullshit. Alex Sebastian taught me that and I love him for it.

  150. 150.

    plato

    January 19, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    This thread has been dadrailed.

  151. 151.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    @debbie:

    “Jarring verging on ugly” perfectly expresses my inevitable reaction.

  152. 152.

    JaySinWA

    January 19, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    Mister president, tear down that San Antonio wall. https://www.newsweek.com/president-trump-touts-phantom-san-antonio-border-wall-helping-lower-its-crime-1298408

  153. 153.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    @Melusine:

    I generally prefer whites

    RACIST!!!

  154. 154.

    Martin

    January 19, 2019 at 10:42 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: My 7th grade civics teacher (who I will note was awesome) was named Mendel S Sohn. His parents were musicians. No period after the middle initial because that is his middle name. He was quite proud of explaining why he had such an unusual first name. That same year was when I started taking French and my French teacher was a translator at the UN prior to going into teaching and would tell us stories of how events like the Cuban Missile Crisis played out inside the UN. I thought the first week of middle school was amazing – what cool fucking teachers do I have! It kind of went downhill from there as the usual Lord of the Flies middle school politics played out. Oh, and my young, unbearably pretty 8th grade french teacher took a short leave every winter to run the Iditerod. I loved 8th grade french.

  155. 155.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    @JaySinWA: I live in Texas. I was drinking coffee when I heard him say that.

    And yes… I did a spit take.

    And swiping through my inbox, apparently it’s become a meme now.

  156. 156.

    Brickley Paiste

    January 19, 2019 at 10:48 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    God why would anyone care about something so trivial in times like these?

  157. 157.

    Steve in the ATL

    January 19, 2019 at 10:49 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: maybe she went to catholic school?

  158. 158.

    JaySinWA

    January 19, 2019 at 10:49 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker: My wife said that some of the Alamo is still there.

  159. 159.

    Jinchi

    January 19, 2019 at 10:49 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: My dad would always ask “What kind of a fool?…. A beauti-fool.”

    It still makes me cringe.

  160. 160.

    Martin

    January 19, 2019 at 10:50 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I have to admit – we have a game we play in our household that if you render a value judgement on literally anything by it’s color, you’ll get someone in the house call you racist. Same if you do it with a gender – which is all kids of irritating to my son who is an electrical engineer, given the prevalence of male/female terminology for connectors. It’s always a bit of a race to be the first to call it out – or to do it in a clever way, and the offender then gets to squirm trying to complete their point without falling into the trap again. We’ve been doing it for *years* and for whatever reason it has never gotten old. It sounds like we’re mocking PC culture, but it’s actually proven to be a pretty effective way to keep us thinking about how we label people.

  161. 161.

    Jay

    January 19, 2019 at 10:50 pm

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??:

    Pete North was an influential Brexiteer.

    Then he had an online meltdown, modified, then deleted that 3-5 million “surplus deaths” and food rationing would restore that Dunkirk Spirit and raise Britain again.

    He was born in 1964 and as a result has only the Great British Book of Boys Stories as reference to that era.

    He worked as an Aviation Tech, which as Airbus withdrew, cost him his job, his marrage, his home. He lives in his mom’s basement now, and her EU caregivers have gone home to Poland. He has to change his Mom’s diapers himself, ( yup, She voted Brexit). He now whinges on line on how cruel the world is and begs for pennies so he can keep his Online Gaming up.

    I have no sympathy .

  162. 162.

    MisterForkbeard

    January 19, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    @JaySinWA: Jesus H Chrisy, that article is terrible. I’m paraphrasing, but: “Trump wanted 5.7 billion for a wall in a spending bill and Democrats said no, sending the government into a record partial shutdown”.

    Also: “Trump has now compromised on immigration, but its yet to be seen how Democrats will respond.”

    Fuck you, author. Thats exactly how you lie with facts, by omitting all context and reporting the maximally favorable version to Republicans.

  163. 163.

    rikyrah

    January 19, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker:
    ???

  164. 164.

    JaySinWA

    January 19, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    @Another Scott: As I recall this was part of the Rove/Luntz focus group tested Republican newspeak. Like death tax and pro-life.

  165. 165.

    Redshift

    January 19, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    I’m late to the party, but the description I’ve been using for Trump’s “offer” is “You pay the ransom and I’ll release three hostages, okay? Oh, and you have to give two of them back in a while. Deal?”

  166. 166.

    Kdaug

    January 19, 2019 at 11:01 pm

    @Immanentize: yep

  167. 167.

    JaySinWA

    January 19, 2019 at 11:02 pm

    @MisterForkbeard: I only read the first few paragraphs to be sure it explained the wall nonsense. I haven’t read any straight news coverage that doesn’t carry the president’s nonsense as a real compromise, so yeah the reporting on this is terrible.

  168. 168.

    geg6

    January 19, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    OT, but has anyone here watched Surviving R. Kelly? Wow. Very well done. Harrowing, sickening, infuriating. I highly recommend it for the strong of stomach. Jesus, he’s a monster.

  169. 169.

    Redshift

    January 19, 2019 at 11:07 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yeah, it was a Luntz creation. Supposedly people had less positive associations with it than with “democratic” and also because of the “rat” sound. However, since most of Luntz’s business was “I can conduct a focus group that will give you whatever answer you want,” I’m dubious that there was any actual research involved.

    I used to find it more annoying; now it mainly strikes me as a marker of the sad devolution of conservatives from evil people who knew their propaganda was a tool to fleece the rubes to stupid and evil people who have grown up in the bubble and believe their own bullshit.

  170. 170.

    JanieM

    January 19, 2019 at 11:10 pm

    From @JaySinWA‘s link:

    “You look at different places, they put up a wall, no problem,” Trump said. “You look at San Antonio, you look at so many different places, they go from one of the most unsafe cities in the country to one of the safest, immediately. Immediately. It works. We have to put them up, and we will put them up. We’ve got to.”

    Millions of people think this gibberish is something to cheer for. I can’t even.

  171. 171.

    Matt McIrvin

    January 19, 2019 at 11:10 pm

    If I recall correctly, “Democrat Party” as a pejorative goes back at least as far as the 1944 Wendell Willkie campaign.

  172. 172.

    Chetan Murthy

    January 19, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    every.single.time Trump (or anyone) refers to the “Democrat Party.”

    You are not alone. Return the favor: use a slur for them! I use “GrOPer”.

  173. 173.

    cain

    January 19, 2019 at 11:13 pm

    @geg6:

    OT, but has anyone here watched Surviving R. Kelly? Wow. Very well done. Harrowing, sickening, infuriating. I highly recommend it for the strong of stomach. Jesus, he’s a monster.

    Black twitter was pissed about rKelly. That asshole continues to thrive though much to the chagrin of others.

  174. 174.

    Burnspbesq

    January 19, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    I may be the only person who believes this, but I can’t shake the feeling that a hard Brexit might lead to Irish unification.

  175. 175.

    hotshoe

    January 19, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker: never heard that one before!

  176. 176.

    StringOnAStick

    January 19, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    See you all in a week. We’re headed to a back country ski lodge by helicopter tomorrow and to a week of powder skiing with no internet or cell service. I might go into withdrawal but I think that would be a good thing.

  177. 177.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 11:23 pm

    @Martin:

    My 7th grade civics teacher (who I will note was awesome) was named Mendel S Sohn. His parents were musicians. No period after the middle initial because that is his middle name.

    I love that story! Glad Mr Sohn was as awesome as his name.

  178. 178.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 19, 2019 at 11:24 pm

    Okay… one last joke. My favorite, in fact.

    A guy walks into a pet store to buy a birthday gift for his wife. He asks the owner for something special.

    “Well, for a hundred dollars, I’ve got a parrot that says, ‘Polly want a cracker!'”

    “What else you got?”

    The owner says, “Well, for five hundred dollars, I’ve got a cat that juggles.”

    “Anything else?”, the man inquires.

    “Well, for five thousand dollars, I’ve got a dog that writes mystery novels under pseudonym Samuel Clemens.”

    “What?! How can a dog write a mystery novel?”, the man asks.

    “Well…”, the owner replies, “He comes up with the ending and works his way back.”

    Goodnight, Juicers.

    And don’t forget to tip your waitress.

  179. 179.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    @Brickley Paiste:

    Whipped cream for a chocolate pie, but definitely meringue for lemon.

  180. 180.

    Honus

    January 19, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    @Miss Bianca: first saw that in German on a bumper sticker on a bricklayer‘s pickup back in about 1980. We got to be pretty good friends.

  181. 181.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 19, 2019 at 11:35 pm

    @Martin:

    Sounds like a fun game!

    This is probably apocryphal (though, if there were any justice in the world, it would be real), but some years back there was a story that the paper recycling bins at a liberal, politically-correct, East Coast university were labelled

    NEWSPAPER
    WHITE PAPER
    PAPER OF COLOR

  182. 182.

    opiejeanne

    January 19, 2019 at 11:39 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    The Coast Guard Academy Professors are furloughed and the cadets are not receiving their stipends, but they are being fed by the Academy. Also, the Academy has opened its food pantry to supply food to unpaid Federal employees:
    Coast Guard Academy closed, New London, CT reeling

  183. 183.

    Immanentize

    January 19, 2019 at 11:41 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker:
    Two wind turbines are chatting in the field.  First one says, “What kind of music do you listen to?”
    Second turbine replies, “I’m a huge Metal fan.”

  184. 184.

    Melusine

    January 19, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    I am not familiar with that overture. Will definitely google it!

    <blockquote
    My nym is merely a crude translation of my maiden name into Scots Gaelic, abetted by some word-play. I’ve used it since 1953.

    Much lovelier than Subaru Diane, which was far too prosaic a name for your comments.

    I have a little red-gold Maine Coone I call Lorelei after Marilyn Monroe’s character in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and she turned out to be obsessed with water. Loves to watch the laundry tub fill and then sits in the sudsy dregs while it’s draining, then watches it fill again.

    I love the story of Melusine for being one of the pioneers of rocking, “Oh, I WILL have me time, and if you don’t get it you’re not worth my time!” attitude. ?

  185. 185.

    Quinerly

    January 19, 2019 at 11:49 pm

    @The Midnight Lurker: it has a wiki page. Had no idea.
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Used_to_Work_in_Chicago

  186. 186.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 19, 2019 at 11:50 pm

    @captnkurt: How about calling them The Treason Party?

  187. 187.

    Mnemosyne

    January 19, 2019 at 11:59 pm

    @geg6:

    Some people tried to go after one of his estranged adult daughters on social media. Her respose was essentially, You probably should have paused to think about why a known pedophile’s daughters are estranged from him. Please respect my privacy.

  188. 188.

    Melusine

    January 20, 2019 at 12:06 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: @SiubhanDuinne:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Only because reds are naturally genetically inferior. And my family arbor has produced nothing but the purest white vintages for centuries, the whitest, mustiest, bitterest, oakiest, driest oh dear god I need a bold fruity rich pinot noir in me RIGHT NOW!!!

    I mean, hurray for fragile yet overbearing American chardonnay!

  189. 189.

    The Dangerman

    January 20, 2019 at 12:11 am

    I happened to have Jeanine Pirro on tonight. Oh, Good Heavens……(I’ll have to paraphrase) ..

    …”.this offer was the bestest offer ever, the Democrats would be fools not to take it, what did we ever do to have the good fortune of having Trump as President, and Trump is hung like a bull moose” (I’m not sure what that has to do with anything)…

    .How do people watch that schlock (OK, I watched, but only because I wanted to see how bad it would be.

  190. 190.

    Melusine

    January 20, 2019 at 12:15 am

    @geg6: Horrifying. He’s lost his record deal as a result and investigations are being opened into some of the allegations, although statute of limitations is up on a lot. So sad women of color, and especially girls of color, have so little value in our society that they can be abused for so long so openly with no consequences to him. From what his victims described, sounds like he’s been on track to eventually leave dead girls in his wake.

  191. 191.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 20, 2019 at 12:15 am

    @opiejeanne: I’m guessing the Merchant Marine Academy is the same. My former boss just rotated out as the Superintendent back in November.

  192. 192.

    dww44

    January 20, 2019 at 12:21 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yep, Bill Nigut. Somewhat glad I’m out of the WABE listening area if there are others continually doing it.

  193. 193.

    AThornton

    January 20, 2019 at 12:25 am

    Burnspbesq says:
    January 19, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    I may be the only person who believes this, but I can’t shake the feeling that a hard Brexit might lead to Irish unification.

    You’re not. I’ve been having a 2 year long discussion with people over there and that’s the assessment. The trick is to do it in a way that precludes the UVF or Red Hand or some other whacked out Protestant paramilitary group exploding car bombs in Dublin. I’m guessing it will take decades for the Orange Lodgers to go quietly into that sweet good night and full unification.

    The second half of this is the very real possibility of Scotland going its own way. My SNP friends are gearing up for the next referendum and this time they think they can win it.

  194. 194.

    SFAW

    January 20, 2019 at 12:27 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I’m guessing the Merchant Marine Academy is the same.

    I imagine their neighbors in Kings Point have enough resources to help the Middies for a while, if necessary. Whether they do, of course, is another matter. [Although Great Neck is — or was — in general, pretty liberal, so I’m thinking the locals will help.]

  195. 195.

    opiejeanne

    January 20, 2019 at 12:32 am

    @SFAW: the problem in New London is that the Academy is a major economic player in a town of 28,000. I suspect Kings Point has the same problem.

  196. 196.

    Bill Arnold

    January 20, 2019 at 12:41 am

    @Burnspbesq:

    I may be the only person who believes this, but I can’t shake the feeling that a hard Brexit might lead to Irish unification.

    You’re not alone. It seems quite possible.
    I even saw a tease last Tue that perhaps it was intentional. No link ’cause you might go objectively insane. (Generally may have involved a deliberate political realignment of the main countries in the Anglosphere. (Specifically a leftward shift within the 5 Eyes.) And lots more.)

  197. 197.

    John Revolta

    January 20, 2019 at 12:41 am

    @The Midnight Lurker: @Quinerly: I believe this song is a spinoff from another song from the 1890s called “The Bowery (I’ll Never Go There Anymore)”. They sound similar and the idea behind them is basically the same.

  198. 198.

    SFAW

    January 20, 2019 at 12:43 am

    @opiejeanne:

    I suspect Kings Point has the same problem.

    Although there will be some economic impact, I imagine, Kings Point is not known for its commercial district, to put it nicely. [It’s an extremely wealthy village that is part of Great Neck, NY.] The rest of Great Neck is not too shabby, either, and its overall population is somewhere between 40,000 and 50,000. But, I have to admit, I don’t know how much the MMA contributes to GN’s overall economy, so maybe I’m completely full of shit. Again.

  199. 199.

    thalarctosMaritimus

    January 20, 2019 at 12:45 am

    @opiejeanne: Speaking of the Coast Guard, a little closer to home, the Seattle Coast Guard Food Bank is running out of food.

  200. 200.

    John Revolta

    January 20, 2019 at 12:48 am

    @Burnspbesq: I agree. Trouble is, how much blood gets spilled in the process? And without reunification, how the Hell is the border gonna be managed? It’s a huge clusterfuck in the making. And yes, it’s not impossible that this could all end up with the dissolution of the United Kingdom altogether. Interesting times.

  201. 201.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 20, 2019 at 12:56 am

    @Burnspbesq: speaking of Ireland, this sounds familiar, and not in a good way, though no one was hurt

    Derry: suspected car bomb explosion investigated
    Police Service of Northern Ireland warns public to stay away from city centre street

    I heard on a BBC broadcast as I was driving home earlier that a warning was phoned in, but I don’t see that in the Guardian story

  202. 202.

    frosty

    January 20, 2019 at 1:00 am

    @The Midnight Lurker:

    This one is as old as the hills on your grandmother’s chest….

    I learned that as “It’s as old as the crust on your underwear.”

    … I guess I’d better see myself out.

  203. 203.

    smike

    January 20, 2019 at 1:02 am

    Hey, Donny. Coulter said jump! Start jumping, bitch.

    Coulter on one side, Pelosi on the other. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bitch-boy. Totally owned.

  204. 204.

    Amir Khalid

    January 20, 2019 at 1:07 am

    @trollhattan:
    The men’s team are the current World Cup holders.

  205. 205.

    Kayla Rudbek

    January 20, 2019 at 1:11 am

    @Burnspbesq: you and Charles Stross

  206. 206.

    Quinerly

    January 20, 2019 at 1:15 am

    @John Revolta: ?
    The online versions (I never even checked until tonight) are a bit different from my dad’s version. We were from the south so working in a Chicago department store seemed pretty exotic, I guess.? (“I did but I don’t anymore.”) It was one of those things that my mom couldn’t stand. Anytime “Chicago” came up on TV, conversation, etc… My dad and I would look at each other, grin, and start it up. We were pretty overbearing with it and coming up with shady lyrics. Childhood memories. My contribution to the “dad joke” portion of the thread. Unfortunately, I have an ear worm right now with vulgar lyrics. ?

  207. 207.

    Luthe

    January 20, 2019 at 1:37 am

    The Fart Cloud’s negotiation strategy is seriously reminding me of the Goblin King in Labyrinth*: “Fear me, love me, do as I say, and I might give you a quarter of what you asked for will be your slave.”

    *with apologies to David Bowie, who at least did not have to live through this utter shitshow*

  208. 208.

    Groucho48

    January 20, 2019 at 3:17 am

    @JanieM:

    If only Bowling Green had had a wall, that terrible massacre might have been prevented.

  209. 209.

    Miss Bianca

    January 20, 2019 at 10:34 am

    @Quinerly: My dad used to sing that song, and another truly terrible one called “Roll Your Leg Over” which is also not fit for prime time post #MeToo, but which I loved as a kid even when I didn’t grok the references. Also told terrible dad jokes. Sigh…he’s been dead for almost 20 years, and I wish that just once before I go I could hear him tell me one of his terrible jokes and roar with laughter.

  210. 210.

    --bd

    January 20, 2019 at 11:24 am

    I wrote a dad joke that my daughter actually liked. Setup: we live in Dearborn, so we are way more familiar with Islam than most Americans.

    Where won’t Muslims sail?

    Harambe!

    Even her Muslim friends laughed when she repeated it to them. Granted, it played better a couple of years ago…

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