Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

This really is a full service blog.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

He really is that stupid.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

No one could have predicted…

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Republicans don’t trust women.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Let there be snark.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / My Succinct Take on Trump’s “Offer”

Reader Interactions

210Comments

  2. 2.

    MobiusKlein

    All I have to say is

    Nancy Smash!

    She had a surprise visit to the woman’s march in San Francisco, and was warmly received.
    Pics to follow.

  4. 4.

    Another Scott

    I like that the news reporting I’ve heard has been parsing Donnie’s offer while ignoring most of the context of how we got here.

    Nancy and Chuck cut to the heart of the problem, as you did:

    Sensible legislators cannot bargain with hostage takers.

    Nothing can happen about coming to an agreement with Donnie and Mitch until the government re-opens. Nancy is right and I hope and expect her to stay strong. Chuck has a weaker hand, being in the minority in the Senate, but as long as 60 votes are needed for cloture then he needs to stay strong as well.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  9. 9.

    Yarrow

    @WaterGirl: You must be talking about my browser. I’m so bad about closing tabs. Days later I’ll have a marathon tab-closing session (who says my life isn’t exciting?) and most of them are Balloon-Juice tabs or something I’ve clicked through to from a B-J post.

  12. 12.

    dmsilev

    A. Lincoln:

    A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear, and mutters through his teeth, “Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!”

    To be sure, what the robber demanded of me – my money – was my own; and I had a clear right to keep it; but it was no more my own than my vote is my own; and the threat of death to me, to extort my money, and the threat of destruction to the Union, to extort my vote, can scarcely be distinguished in principle.

  14. 14.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Donnie keeps saying “I want Wall, I need Wall, I demand Wall,” and Nancy keeps saying “No,” and I finally realised that it all reminds me of this great poem I learned in elementary school:

    Overheard on a Saltmarsh

    Nymph, nymph, what are your beads?

    Green glass, goblin. Why do you stare at them?

    Give them me.

    No.

    Give them me. Give them me.

    No.

    Then I will howl all night in the reeds,
    Lie in the mud and howl for them.

    Goblin, why do you love them so?

    They are better than stars or water,
    Better than voices of winds that sing,
    Better than any man’s fair daughter,
    Your green glass beads on a silver ring.

    Hush, I stole them out of the moon.

    Give me your beads, I want them.

    No.

    I will howl in the deep lagoon
    For your green glass beads, I love them so.
    Give them me. Give them.

    No.

    – Harold Monro (1879 – 1932)

    Love that poem.

  15. 15.

    Sab

    Sigh.

    Trump is incapable of negotiating.

    Call your Republican senators. McConnell has to negotiate with Shumer and Pelosi. There’s no one else. We can’t have the government shut down for the next two years.

  19. 19.

    The Dangerman

    Seems to me to be worse than that because things like Debt Ceiling are coming up; Donnie will hold those hostage, too, because one you pay off the Robber, he always comes back for more….

  23. 23.

    Baud

    @dmsilev:

    A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear, and mutters through his teeth, “Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!”

    Both sides!

  24. 24.

    jeffreyw

    That is cool. A highwayman holds a pistol to my ear, and mutters through his teeth, “Stand and deliver, or I shall kill you, and then you will be a murderer!”

    –Some Guy

  25. 25.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Yarrow: I started mine and no one was drafting anything. Finished it, hit post, went to make dinner, checked the site and went: WTF?

  27. 27.

    WaterGirl

    Do any of you have the issue where your browser loses your place on BJ, and in order to find your place again you have to think of a key word from the comment you were on when it happened?

    If you use the find feature and the word is something like dungeon or arbitrary or elementary, you’re in pretty good shape. You might find 2 or 7 matches, which you can then quickly run through.

    But sometimes the word you remember is fuck or motherfucker or dick and Find comes back with 47 matches. It’s slightly annoying, but I always laugh when that happens. Why yes, that did just happen now, why do you ask?

  29. 29.

    SiubhanDuinne

    BTW, I know this is just incredibly petty of me, but my hackles go up every.single.time Trump (or anyone) refers to the “Democrat Party.” It irks me enough in informal, off-the-cuff remarks; but in a scripted speech, such as this afternoon’s, it is deliberate and infuriating. (I know it’s meant to be infuriating, and they are probably gleeful at this easy way to pwn the libs, but it seems to me that negotiating in good faith should at least include a show of respect for one’s opponent.)

    Stephen Miller’s contribution, I expect.

  32. 32.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @WaterGirl:

    I just make a mental note of the comment number I was reading when I left the site to follow a link or open a tweet or whatever. Then when I return to the page, I simply scroll down to the comment I was on and pick things up from there.

  33. 33.

    Jay Noble

    If Democrats give in, they essentially give Trump (and any President to follow) the Line Item Veto.

  34. 34.

    Yarrow

    @Adam L Silverman: Well, he’s better than he was. He’s out of the hospital and home. They were supposed to have home health set up when they left the hospital but of course that didn’t get done so everyone was scrambling yesterday. Meanwhile, his wife who was also in the hospital is home and not doing well, so it’s a bit of a mess.

    Last I heard she refuses to allow a caregiver in the house. That’s pretty common and doesn’t surprise me. No kids or any other family live anywhere close to them so it’s not easy for family to be there. I anticipate one of them will end up back in a hospital because that’s how this kind of thing goes.

  35. 35.

    Yarrow

    @WaterGirl: Yep. Happens to me. It’s a pain when it’s a long thread. If I use the back arrow sometimes it totally messes it up and I’m completely lost as to where I was. Part of the charm of Balloon-Juice.

  36. 36.

    Ruckus

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    That’s republican code for neener, neener, neener……
    It’s really been their stick for my entire life to find a point of contention and then harp on it continuously. Damn annoying brats.

  37. 37.

    The Dangerman

    I wonder if the TSA all decided to call in sick at a strategic location – let’s say Atlanta – and at a strategic time – let’s say, right after the Super Bowl – things would get done.

    Something “bad” has to happen to end this thing. Hopefully, it won’t be THAT bad and only lack of convenience and not loss of life.

    ETA: Although being stuck in Atlanta for an extra day or so wouldn’t be that inconvenient, especially for the lodging locales.

  39. 39.

    Steve in the ATL

    @WaterGirl:

    But sometimes the word you remember is fuck or motherfucker or dick and Find comes back with 47 matches.

    And that’s why we love this place!

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    @SiubhanDuinne: I always open links in a new tab, though. This happens sometimes when either BJ or FYWP seems to lose its mind when I refresh the page, and it doesn’t bring me back to the right place.

  44. 44.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Ruckus:

    It is very bratty, and I know full well I shouldn’t let it rile me the way it does. My reaction just plays into their hands. But I still maintain — subject, of course, to correction from @Steve Back in the Rainy, Windy ATL — that if you intend to negotiate anything in good faith, you don’t begin by insulting or annoying the other party right out of the gate.

  47. 47.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Immanentize:

    But rest easy in the fact that within their almost complete focus on “owning the libs” lies their demise.

    I do hope you’re right.

  48. 48.

    jl

    @SiubhanDuinne: There is a saying in show biz: get new material or get a new audience.

    For big elections there is only one audience. For years listening to their material has been like huffing fumes out of a nearly empty gas tank . All but the in some way or another brain damaged are ready to heave.

  49. 49.

    Adam L Silverman

    @rikyrah: As I wrote earlier:

    I went to a Jesuit high school. If I or my classmates had done that we’d have been expelled already. And the Catholic ones would’ve been turned over to their diocesan and parish leaders for months of remedial penance.

  52. 52.

    Jay

    “Unless something radical changes – and it may, precisely because of the desperate plight we are now in – then it seems highly likely that Britain will leave the EU with no deal. That will mean that in ten weeks’ time we will face severe economic and social dislocation, with the probability of food and medicine shortages, troops on the street, disruptions to travel and much else.

    It would be an outcome desired by only a tiny minority of grossly irresponsible ideologues in parliament and amongst the public. The division, crisis and extremism it would unleash make that feared were there to be another referendum, or even a revocation of Article 50 without a vote, seem like a walk in the park”

    http://chrisgreybrexitblog.blogspot.com/2019/01/a-dangerous-political-void.html?m=1

  53. 53.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    @jl:

    For big elections there is only one audience. For years listening to their material has been like huffing fumes out of a nearly empty gas tank . All but the in some way or another brain damaged are ready to heave

    It does seem like Trump’s support is on shaky ground, as evidenced by polls. I suspect, when it comes to parts of his coalition such as evangelicals and such, that they’re showing greater disapproval because they’re perceiving him as weak with these so-called compromises. Coulter and the like are hammering him about this.

  54. 54.

    JanieM

    @Immanentize: Take me wife, I’m savin’ me money for me old age.

    ETA: Sorry, I read and replied too quickly. There’s an old joke:

    “Your money or your wife…….”

    “Take me wife…..”

  55. 55.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Jay: Gove, Johnson, and company are not exactly the sharpest knives in the plastic chopstick drawer.

  58. 58.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Chef’s humor: Who was that ladle I saw you with last night? That was no ladle, that was my knife.

    That’s a prime dad joke if I ever saw one. I do like dad jokes though : )

  59. 59.

    sdhays

    @Sab: The only interesting thing out of the offer today is that McConnell has realized that he’s going to have to make this happen; the ASSet’s plan is to yell impotently at the TV box and tweet his normal crap and House Democrats are not going to cower and give in. So it turns out McConnell actually is part of the equation. Funny how that works…

  60. 60.

    Brachiator

    Is Trump that stupid, or just that stubborn?

    John Cole’s analogy is dead on. But it is nuts to think that Trump and his brain trust (Pence, Jared and whoever) came up with this empty gesture.

    Meanwhile, federal workers and contractors continue to suffer.

  61. 61.

    Jay

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Aayup, Brexiteers are morons.

    Chris Grey has been blogging the process from day one, and on day one he called Hard Brexit, because of whom the Brexiteers (even the voters) were. Kakistocracy rules.

  62. 62.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    @Jay:
    I feel so sorry for the people who voted to Remain as well as those too young to vote at all. Everyone is going to suffer because of stupidity and lies.

  63. 63.

    Steeplejack

    @WaterGirl:

    God, I spent way too much time last night pruning my open Firefox tabs down from 135! I think that was a record. And most of them were Balloon Juice posts going back to last weekend. I got it down to 30-something, and now it’s already back up to 51.

  67. 67.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    @Steeplejack:
    I have the exact same problem on my phone. I have hundreds of tabs open on my Chrome browser. I occasionally trim them down, but it’s a real chore to do and choosing what to get rid of is also difficult.

  68. 68.

    jl

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??: I mentioned some polling data on evangelical support for Trump a while back on this here very blog. The sad news is, Trump has seen very little loss of support from the oldster white evangelicals, as of last year or so. But there is substantial loss of support among younger evangelicals.

    These damn kids these days, even white evangelicals, don’t have a proper and healthy respect for vile hypocrisy anymore.
    But, among the oldsters, seems like fact that they are one of the most loyal groups to Trump is evidence that their odd sect of Christianity is really a cover for authoritarianism, patriarchy, racism, and other varieties of general bigotry.

  72. 72.

    Bill Arnold

    @Immanentize:

    But rest easy in the fact that within their almost complete focus on “owning the libs” lies their demis

    Makes ’em easily predictable. (And for that matter, manipulable.)

  76. 76.

    jl

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??: In fact, IIRC, a substantial fraction of younger Evangelicals are removing themselves from the Evangelical movement.

    Again, I say, these damned kids these days don’t have a proper respect for hypocrisy.
    I didn’t see numbers on the overlap of loss of support for Trump among younger Evangelicals and decision to leave Evangelical movement, but I imagine it must be substantial.

  77. 77.

    Yutsano

    @The Dangerman:

    ETA: Although being stuck in Atlanta for an extra day or so wouldn’t be that inconvenient, especially for the lodging locales.

    Having “been there and done that” I must respectfully disagree with you sir. However my misadventure was because of a massive computer meltdown that Delta never tested their backup system for. THAT was a pretty terrible experience.

  82. 82.

    japa21

    @Adam L Silverman: My son teaches at a Jesuit HS. After Trump was elected, incidents of harassment of female students and minorities increased. Several students were no longer around not too long after. My son was one of several teachers who made their classrooms safe zones. Although he still considers it such it has rarely needed to be one. Like your school, they don’t put up with this shit.

  83. 83.

    The Midnight Lurker

    Dad jokes? Okay…

    Did you hear about the new restaurant they’re building in outer space?

    Great food. No atmosphere.

  84. 84.

    Miss Bianca

    @Jay: I had occasion to trot this oldie-but-goodie out from Friedrich Schiller, just the other day around this joint:

    Folly, thou conquerest, and I must yield! Against stupidity the very gods/Themselves contend in vain.

  85. 85.

    Melusine

    It takes a very special combination of narcissism and stupidity to refuse to pay the people whose job it is to take a bullet for you. I wouldn’t blame any of his agents for ducking at this point. “There were cameras present. He hated it when we blocked his photo ops.”

    Every time they’re asked about Wall Dems should respond, “5.7 billion isn’t enough to build a wall across the entire border, it certainly isn’t enough to maintain it, let alone paying all the landowners whose property the administration would have to seize to build it on, and why don’t don’t you ask Berlin how well the Wall worked out for them? In the meantime, our party will be focusing on increasing the number of agents in vulnerable areas and developing advanced technological solutions to fight illegal trafficking today and in the coming decades. “

  87. 87.

    dww44

    @Sab: Now there’s the rob. The person doing the real hostage taking is McConnell himself. He’s no more a leader of half of the co-equal branch of government than I am. He’s already said that he won’t introduce any legislation until Trump and Democrats reach an agreement. Talk about undemocratic and power mad McConnell is the very definition. I hope I live to see his name and reputation appropriately sullied and disgraced.

  89. 89.

    cain

    @Dave L:
    Did you hear about one of their alumni who sexually assaulted a girl till she bled? Yeah man, great alumni you are churning out. It looks like the entire school puts out just white entitled assholes. Kinda reminds me of that video game – Gauntlet where you have small hill of skulls that generate goblins. That’s what that school is.

  90. 90.

    Adam L Silverman

    @japa21: You don’t mess with the Society! I only did freshman to junior year with them. My dad took his leave of absence from the university my senior year, so I graduated from a public high school in the Denver burbs. My senior year was basically a year long vacation. Despite it being a very good school, it wasn’t a Jesuit high school. I learned a lot of very important things as a student at Jesuit high school, and only some of them from the academics.

  93. 93.

    cain

    @jl:

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: In fact, IIRC, a substantial fraction of younger Evangelicals are removing themselves from the Evangelical movement.

    Well fuck, that means they are going to go find new recruits in other countries. Assholes.

  94. 94.

    jl

    How did dad’s get a monopoly on bad jokes? Is this not a sad remnant of an oppressive patriarchy? Why are the right thinking commenters on America’s premier almost top 10,00 lefty blog putting up with this barbaric concept?

    What about tragically unhip non-dads, like Silverman, who clearly feels left out? Can he not tell a bad joke?
    Are we accusing moms of only being able to tell good jokes? Where does this madness lead?
    (probably to the kind of time machine that only allows you kill baby Hitler, or something like that, but will never take you to a Roman orgy.)

    What does dad joke mean?
    ” The term dad joke is recorded as early as 1987 in a Pennsylvania newspaper, which noted dad jokes as making kids and wives wince. And, they have been doing so ever since. ”
    https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/dad-joke/

  97. 97.

    The Midnight Lurker

    You say you want more? Okay…

    I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.

  99. 99.

    dww44

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m absolutely with you on this one and have been for years. Truth is, saying the Democrat party and not the Democratic party is commonplace in the right wing world and was done to begin with just to ruffle our feathers. So much so that folks who are ostensibly non-partisan and knowledgeable now do it. A year or so ago that guy from the AJC who hosts The Political Rewind show on Georgia Public Radio used it and I emailed him. He was genuinely surprised and nonplussed and apologized. He had no idea anyone would be offended by that.

    One come back I’ve said to folks who do this is to say “What if I said the Republic party and not the Republican party? Makes them think, sometimes!

  102. 102.

    jl

    ‘bad joke’, ‘dad joke’

    I wonder if the whole business started with a simple typo, and it’s just a misunderstanding that has gotten out of hand.
    Much ado about nothing, which fits since it is a bad joke/dad joke kind of play.

  103. 103.

    Melusine

    @SiubhanDuinne: You don’t have a Find option in your phone browser? That does suck.

    I sometimes forget to close the Find bar at the bottom of the screen and the bump and wonder why I’m scrolling again.

  104. 104.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Brachiator: Trump doesn’t care about the 800,000 federal employees or the contractors. It’s my understanding that he never even mentioned them in his press conference.

  110. 110.

    The Dangerman

    I’ll spare you the whole joke (it’s kinda long) and just type the punch line:

    “Pardon my, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”

    Hmmm. Doesn’t work well typed. So sad.

  111. 111.

    Ruckus

    @The Dangerman:
    I’ve been stuck at ATL and found out that sleeping on the terminal floor was better than the airline arranged location. Now if you know the area there are some nice hotels downtown. Fellow employee and I found one care of the women sitting next to me on the plane on 9/11. Her cell wouldn’t work, I loaned her mine so she could contact her friends who worked in the WTC. Their luck the company was having a meeting of some sort in Atlanta and everyone was on the way there rather than at work that day. We got a room for an exorbitant price at her hotel, the airlines had used up all the crappy ones they normally send you to.

  114. 114.

    The Midnight Lurker

    Here’s one for all you dog lovers out there in BJ land…

    What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

    A Labracadabrador!

    (My granddaughter loves that one)

  117. 117.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @debbie:

    I suspect it goes back even further, at least to the Clinton administration. I would have blamed Newt for it myself, but Luntz as originator makes sense. Newt was quick to pick up on it, though!

  118. 118.

    Timurid

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I went to fucking Georgetown Prep. As we all learned on the news, there were kids there capable of such behavior. I knew a few of them (not the famous ones). But if they acted like that in public, on a school trip, they would have been punished. One big difference was that it is a Jesuit school, and their politics (aside from on abortion) were to the left of many other Catholic schools…

  119. 119.

    The Dangerman

    Oh, cool, animal jokes:

    How did the little Scottish dog react when he met Big Foot?

    He was Terrier-fied!

  120. 120.

    Gravenstone

    @debbie: It extends at least back to Newt Gingrich and his efforts to demonize Democrats in general. His breaking the norms within the House was a major step in empowering the current assholes running the Republican side of things.

  121. 121.

    The Midnight Lurker

    @Quinerly: …at a department store. A woman came in and wanted to buy a yacht. Seamen she got.

    I don’t really get that one myself.

    It’s more of an old drinking song than a joke, actually.

  122. 122.

    captnkurt

    @SiubhanDuinne: I wonder what the reaction would be if Nancy started consistently referring to the opposition as “The Republic Party”?

    Edit: I see I got beat to the punch on this upthread

  123. 123.

    John Revolta

    I…………doesn’t having all those tabs open make things run kinda slow? I seldom have more than 4 or 5 going at once and sometimes that creates problems. In fact, BJ is one of the worst offenders.
    Mind you, my computer is nearly ten years old………………..could this have anything to do with it?

  124. 124.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Steve in the ATL: Wait, now we have to worry about the weather when deciding what wine to drink? It’s not enough to sweat out the meat/fish thing?

    Personally, I prefer white wines with… nothing. I’m just not fond of them. I just find dry red wines cozy somehow, not that I have it that often. So I’ll order red with my chicken or fish dish, even if the waiter is silently judging me. I know nothing about wine anyway, so I’m sure he’s already judging me on which red I choose even if red is appropriate.

  126. 126.

    debbie

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Wikipedia says it goes back as far as 1890, but here’s my favorite bit:

    Complaints about the term “Democrat Party” can be found in the lamestream media [sic]. New Yorker Magazine commentator Hendrik Hertzberg wrote: “There’s no great mystery about the motives behind this deliberate misnaming. ‘Democrat Party’ is a slur, or intended to be – a handy way to express contempt. Aesthetic judgments are subjective, of course, but ‘Democrat Party’ is jarring verging on ugly.”[

  127. 127.

    trollhattan

    France women beat USWNT today 3-1, ending our 28-game unbeaten streak. Nicely done France, game on for this summer’s WWC. Whod’a thunk France would become a soccer powerhouse?

  128. 128.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Miss Bianca:

    It’s a wonderful poem, isn’t it? I enjoy thinking (sometimes saying out loud) the simple word “No.” in a variety of inflections. Amused, exasperated, decisive, fierce.

  130. 130.

    The Midnight Lurker

    Two racehorses are running neck-to-neck. One turns to the other and says, “Your pace is familiar but I can’t place your mane.

  133. 133.

    Ruckus

    @John Revolta:
    Could be not enough memory.
    Also I noticed that some browsers don’t handle too many tabs open well, the number for too many varies. I’ve had over 200 open on Firefox, which used to not like that at all but updated to current seems fine with it, almost the same on Safari but Chrome didn’t like that the last time I tried it.

  134. 134.

    Sally

    I read the comments of people insisting that it is inappropriate to criticise the Covington HS boys, or demand punishment or accountability for their deplorable (there’s that word again) actions. However, a black child killed for waving a toy gun, or walking home in the rain wearing a hoodie, is blamed for their own misfortune. Black children, younger than these teenagers who looked to be around 16 – 18 years of age, are, in many states, tried as adults and sent to gaol for life, because they must be held accountable. Don’t these CHS kids have similar agency? They can involve themselves in politics flaunting their misogyny, surely they have the agency to be accountable for their seething racism. The marches and the marchers are there to strip the rights of women and families of access to healthcare. Medical procedures (including terminations) and hormone therapy (encompasses contraception) is healthcare, and not just women’s healthcare. It doesn’t “only” involve women, who are daughters, sisters, mothers, wives and people who live and work in communities. The nasty school in the nasty Diocese bussed these students there as props, and is now hurt that the world points and sees them for what they are. They are truly the poster children of their movement. Cry me a river.

  135. 135.

    Melusine

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: I generally prefer whites, on the semi-sweet to dry side, served room temperature because when they’re chilled all you taste are the sweet notes. Blech. Get massive side-eye from waiters/bartenders when I ask if I can a glass not-chilled.

  136. 136.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @dww44:

    that guy from the AJC who hosts The Political Rewind show on Georgia Public Radio

    Bill Nigut?

    Denis O’Hayer, who is a very decent guy (if occasionally a little bothsidery for my taste) doesn’t use “Democrat” as an adjective himself, but his GA GOP guests on WABE do it constantly without any pushback, and sometimes I just wish a motherfucker would.

  137. 137.

    The Midnight Lurker

    This one is as old as the hills on your grandmother’s chest….

    If I wear my New Jersey, what will Delaware?

    Idaho, Alaska.

  138. 138.

    Bill Arnold

    @John Revolta:

    doesn’t having all those tabs open make things run kinda slow? I seldom have more than 4 or 5 going at once and sometimes that creates problems. In fact, BJ is one of the worst offenders.

    On a macbook pro i’ve found many open tabs/windows (>100/>20) to be a serious performance problem. Windows and Linux, no problem. (Typically >300/>50)
    For chrome, The Great Suspender is very helpful. Script blockers are also helpful. uBlock Origin, Noscript (firefox), and Scriptsafe (chrome), Privacy Badger. NoScript can cause performance problems unfortunately. (Haven’t found anything helpful for Safari but not a fan.)

  140. 140.

    Ruckus

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:
    What’s appropriate is what you like. Wine snobs shouldn’t be able to tell you what wine to drink, the one you like is always best. It may overpower some foods but you are the one drinking it. Drinking the “right” wine is like owning the current “best” car or the clothing with the current ‘best” label. Drink what you like, drive the car you like and wear whatever you like.

  143. 143.

    Ruckus

    @John Revolta:
    I’m on a 3 yr old iMac with 8gigs and when I first changed from a windows box I used Firefox. But it kept getting wonkier and wonkier so I switched to Safari and have had no issues. It may work best on Apple stuff, updated regularly.

  146. 146.

    Quinerly

    @The Midnight Lurker: It was one of my dad’s favorites. I guess it goes back to WW2. He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket but started singing it to me around age 7. I would giggle. Probably didn’t understand most of it but later it was a bonding thing for us. It always started with “a lady came in and asked for hat, I asked her what kind at the door.” I won’t finish b/c not a good song in the #metoo times. Times change. Corny Dad stuff. That lady was always asking for stuff… gloves, shoes, a drink…. Doesn’t translate well now….. I still laugh, though.

  147. 147.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Melusine:

    Also, I love your nym.

    As I do yours! Do you know Mendelssohn’s concert overture Die schöne Melusine? Although I’ve never learned to swim myself, I’ve always had a fascination with stories and legends of water-sprites — The Little Mermaid, the Lorelei, Melusine, Rusalka, Ondine, Rhinemaidens, the Oceanides, the lot.

    My nym is merely a crude translation of my maiden name into Scots Gaelic, abetted by some word-play. I’ve used it since 1953.

  148. 148.

    The Midnight Lurker

    @Quinerly: It’s a really old song. Pre-dates WWII. There are endless verses, but they all start the same.

    “I used to work in Chicago, at an old department store. A woman came in and wanted a…”

    My favorite one I can no longer remember the setup but the ending was “Mine Shaft.”

    And yeah… maybe we should leave this one to our boyhood memories.

  149. 149.

    geg6

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    I happen to know one of the nation’s most knowledgeable people on the subject of wine. His restaurant has been named the top or top three wine cellars for American wines in the nation. He taught me a lot but the most important thing he taught me was to find out what you like and drink it with whatever you wish to eat. It’s all well and good to have a sommelier or do massive research to pair your wines with your dishes for a special occasion if you wish to. But it’s best to just enjoy what you’re drinking. Wine pretensions are just bullshit. Alex Sebastian taught me that and I love him for it.

  154. 154.

    Martin

    @SiubhanDuinne: My 7th grade civics teacher (who I will note was awesome) was named Mendel S Sohn. His parents were musicians. No period after the middle initial because that is his middle name. He was quite proud of explaining why he had such an unusual first name. That same year was when I started taking French and my French teacher was a translator at the UN prior to going into teaching and would tell us stories of how events like the Cuban Missile Crisis played out inside the UN. I thought the first week of middle school was amazing – what cool fucking teachers do I have! It kind of went downhill from there as the usual Lord of the Flies middle school politics played out. Oh, and my young, unbearably pretty 8th grade french teacher took a short leave every winter to run the Iditerod. I loved 8th grade french.

  155. 155.

    The Midnight Lurker

    @JaySinWA: I live in Texas. I was drinking coffee when I heard him say that.

    And yes… I did a spit take.

    And swiping through my inbox, apparently it’s become a meme now.

  160. 160.

    Martin

    @SiubhanDuinne: I have to admit – we have a game we play in our household that if you render a value judgement on literally anything by it’s color, you’ll get someone in the house call you racist. Same if you do it with a gender – which is all kids of irritating to my son who is an electrical engineer, given the prevalence of male/female terminology for connectors. It’s always a bit of a race to be the first to call it out – or to do it in a clever way, and the offender then gets to squirm trying to complete their point without falling into the trap again. We’ve been doing it for *years* and for whatever reason it has never gotten old. It sounds like we’re mocking PC culture, but it’s actually proven to be a pretty effective way to keep us thinking about how we label people.

  161. 161.

    Jay

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??:

    Pete North was an influential Brexiteer.

    Then he had an online meltdown, modified, then deleted that 3-5 million “surplus deaths” and food rationing would restore that Dunkirk Spirit and raise Britain again.

    He was born in 1964 and as a result has only the Great British Book of Boys Stories as reference to that era.

    He worked as an Aviation Tech, which as Airbus withdrew, cost him his job, his marrage, his home. He lives in his mom’s basement now, and her EU caregivers have gone home to Poland. He has to change his Mom’s diapers himself, ( yup, She voted Brexit). He now whinges on line on how cruel the world is and begs for pennies so he can keep his Online Gaming up.

    I have no sympathy .

  162. 162.

    MisterForkbeard

    @JaySinWA: Jesus H Chrisy, that article is terrible. I’m paraphrasing, but: “Trump wanted 5.7 billion for a wall in a spending bill and Democrats said no, sending the government into a record partial shutdown”.

    Also: “Trump has now compromised on immigration, but its yet to be seen how Democrats will respond.”

    Fuck you, author. Thats exactly how you lie with facts, by omitting all context and reporting the maximally favorable version to Republicans.

  165. 165.

    Redshift

    I’m late to the party, but the description I’ve been using for Trump’s “offer” is “You pay the ransom and I’ll release three hostages, okay? Oh, and you have to give two of them back in a while. Deal?”

  167. 167.

    JaySinWA

    @MisterForkbeard: I only read the first few paragraphs to be sure it explained the wall nonsense. I haven’t read any straight news coverage that doesn’t carry the president’s nonsense as a real compromise, so yeah the reporting on this is terrible.

  168. 168.

    geg6

    OT, but has anyone here watched Surviving R. Kelly? Wow. Very well done. Harrowing, sickening, infuriating. I highly recommend it for the strong of stomach. Jesus, he’s a monster.

  169. 169.

    Redshift

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yeah, it was a Luntz creation. Supposedly people had less positive associations with it than with “democratic” and also because of the “rat” sound. However, since most of Luntz’s business was “I can conduct a focus group that will give you whatever answer you want,” I’m dubious that there was any actual research involved.

    I used to find it more annoying; now it mainly strikes me as a marker of the sad devolution of conservatives from evil people who knew their propaganda was a tool to fleece the rubes to stupid and evil people who have grown up in the bubble and believe their own bullshit.

  170. 170.

    JanieM

    From @JaySinWA‘s link:

    “You look at different places, they put up a wall, no problem,” Trump said. “You look at San Antonio, you look at so many different places, they go from one of the most unsafe cities in the country to one of the safest, immediately. Immediately. It works. We have to put them up, and we will put them up. We’ve got to.”

    Millions of people think this gibberish is something to cheer for. I can’t even.

  171. 171.

    Matt McIrvin

    If I recall correctly, “Democrat Party” as a pejorative goes back at least as far as the 1944 Wendell Willkie campaign.

  172. 172.

    Chetan Murthy

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    every.single.time Trump (or anyone) refers to the “Democrat Party.”

    You are not alone. Return the favor: use a slur for them! I use “GrOPer”.

  173. 173.

    cain

    @geg6:

    OT, but has anyone here watched Surviving R. Kelly? Wow. Very well done. Harrowing, sickening, infuriating. I highly recommend it for the strong of stomach. Jesus, he’s a monster.

    Black twitter was pissed about rKelly. That asshole continues to thrive though much to the chagrin of others.

  174. 174.

    Burnspbesq

    I may be the only person who believes this, but I can’t shake the feeling that a hard Brexit might lead to Irish unification.

  176. 176.

    StringOnAStick

    See you all in a week. We’re headed to a back country ski lodge by helicopter tomorrow and to a week of powder skiing with no internet or cell service. I might go into withdrawal but I think that would be a good thing.

  177. 177.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Martin:

    My 7th grade civics teacher (who I will note was awesome) was named Mendel S Sohn. His parents were musicians. No period after the middle initial because that is his middle name.

    I love that story! Glad Mr Sohn was as awesome as his name.

  178. 178.

    The Midnight Lurker

    Okay… one last joke. My favorite, in fact.

    A guy walks into a pet store to buy a birthday gift for his wife. He asks the owner for something special.

    “Well, for a hundred dollars, I’ve got a parrot that says, ‘Polly want a cracker!'”

    “What else you got?”

    The owner says, “Well, for five hundred dollars, I’ve got a cat that juggles.”

    “Anything else?”, the man inquires.

    “Well, for five thousand dollars, I’ve got a dog that writes mystery novels under pseudonym Samuel Clemens.”

    “What?! How can a dog write a mystery novel?”, the man asks.

    “Well…”, the owner replies, “He comes up with the ending and works his way back.”

    Goodnight, Juicers.

    And don’t forget to tip your waitress.

  181. 181.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Martin:

    Sounds like a fun game!

    This is probably apocryphal (though, if there were any justice in the world, it would be real), but some years back there was a story that the paper recycling bins at a liberal, politically-correct, East Coast university were labelled

    NEWSPAPER
    WHITE PAPER
    PAPER OF COLOR

  184. 184.

    Melusine

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    I am not familiar with that overture. Will definitely google it!

    <blockquote
    My nym is merely a crude translation of my maiden name into Scots Gaelic, abetted by some word-play. I’ve used it since 1953.

    Much lovelier than Subaru Diane, which was far too prosaic a name for your comments.

    I have a little red-gold Maine Coone I call Lorelei after Marilyn Monroe’s character in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and she turned out to be obsessed with water. Loves to watch the laundry tub fill and then sits in the sudsy dregs while it’s draining, then watches it fill again.

    I love the story of Melusine for being one of the pioneers of rocking, “Oh, I WILL have me time, and if you don’t get it you’re not worth my time!” attitude. ?

  187. 187.

    Mnemosyne

    @geg6:

    Some people tried to go after one of his estranged adult daughters on social media. Her respose was essentially, You probably should have paused to think about why a known pedophile’s daughters are estranged from him. Please respect my privacy.

  188. 188.

    Melusine

    @SiubhanDuinne: @SiubhanDuinne:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Only because reds are naturally genetically inferior. And my family arbor has produced nothing but the purest white vintages for centuries, the whitest, mustiest, bitterest, oakiest, driest oh dear god I need a bold fruity rich pinot noir in me RIGHT NOW!!!

    I mean, hurray for fragile yet overbearing American chardonnay!

  189. 189.

    The Dangerman

    I happened to have Jeanine Pirro on tonight. Oh, Good Heavens……(I’ll have to paraphrase) ..

    …”.this offer was the bestest offer ever, the Democrats would be fools not to take it, what did we ever do to have the good fortune of having Trump as President, and Trump is hung like a bull moose” (I’m not sure what that has to do with anything)…

    .How do people watch that schlock (OK, I watched, but only because I wanted to see how bad it would be.

  190. 190.

    Melusine

    @geg6: Horrifying. He’s lost his record deal as a result and investigations are being opened into some of the allegations, although statute of limitations is up on a lot. So sad women of color, and especially girls of color, have so little value in our society that they can be abused for so long so openly with no consequences to him. From what his victims described, sounds like he’s been on track to eventually leave dead girls in his wake.

  191. 191.

    Adam L Silverman

    @opiejeanne: I’m guessing the Merchant Marine Academy is the same. My former boss just rotated out as the Superintendent back in November.

  193. 193.

    AThornton

    Burnspbesq says:
    January 19, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    I may be the only person who believes this, but I can’t shake the feeling that a hard Brexit might lead to Irish unification.

    You’re not. I’ve been having a 2 year long discussion with people over there and that’s the assessment. The trick is to do it in a way that precludes the UVF or Red Hand or some other whacked out Protestant paramilitary group exploding car bombs in Dublin. I’m guessing it will take decades for the Orange Lodgers to go quietly into that sweet good night and full unification.

    The second half of this is the very real possibility of Scotland going its own way. My SNP friends are gearing up for the next referendum and this time they think they can win it.

  194. 194.

    SFAW

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I’m guessing the Merchant Marine Academy is the same.

    I imagine their neighbors in Kings Point have enough resources to help the Middies for a while, if necessary. Whether they do, of course, is another matter. [Although Great Neck is — or was — in general, pretty liberal, so I’m thinking the locals will help.]

  195. 195.

    opiejeanne

    @SFAW: the problem in New London is that the Academy is a major economic player in a town of 28,000. I suspect Kings Point has the same problem.

  196. 196.

    Bill Arnold

    @Burnspbesq:

    I may be the only person who believes this, but I can’t shake the feeling that a hard Brexit might lead to Irish unification.

    You’re not alone. It seems quite possible.
    I even saw a tease last Tue that perhaps it was intentional. No link ’cause you might go objectively insane. (Generally may have involved a deliberate political realignment of the main countries in the Anglosphere. (Specifically a leftward shift within the 5 Eyes.) And lots more.)

  198. 198.

    SFAW

    @opiejeanne:

    I suspect Kings Point has the same problem.

    Although there will be some economic impact, I imagine, Kings Point is not known for its commercial district, to put it nicely. [It’s an extremely wealthy village that is part of Great Neck, NY.] The rest of Great Neck is not too shabby, either, and its overall population is somewhere between 40,000 and 50,000. But, I have to admit, I don’t know how much the MMA contributes to GN’s overall economy, so maybe I’m completely full of shit. Again.

  200. 200.

    John Revolta

    @Burnspbesq: I agree. Trouble is, how much blood gets spilled in the process? And without reunification, how the Hell is the border gonna be managed? It’s a huge clusterfuck in the making. And yes, it’s not impossible that this could all end up with the dissolution of the United Kingdom altogether. Interesting times.

  202. 202.

    frosty

    @The Midnight Lurker:

    This one is as old as the hills on your grandmother’s chest….

    I learned that as “It’s as old as the crust on your underwear.”

    … I guess I’d better see myself out.

  203. 203.

    smike

    Hey, Donny. Coulter said jump! Start jumping, bitch.

    Coulter on one side, Pelosi on the other. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bitch-boy. Totally owned.

  206. 206.

    Quinerly

    @John Revolta: ?
    The online versions (I never even checked until tonight) are a bit different from my dad’s version. We were from the south so working in a Chicago department store seemed pretty exotic, I guess.? (“I did but I don’t anymore.”) It was one of those things that my mom couldn’t stand. Anytime “Chicago” came up on TV, conversation, etc… My dad and I would look at each other, grin, and start it up. We were pretty overbearing with it and coming up with shady lyrics. Childhood memories. My contribution to the “dad joke” portion of the thread. Unfortunately, I have an ear worm right now with vulgar lyrics. ?

  207. 207.

    Luthe

    The Fart Cloud’s negotiation strategy is seriously reminding me of the Goblin King in Labyrinth*: “Fear me, love me, do as I say, and I might give you a quarter of what you asked for will be your slave.”

    *with apologies to David Bowie, who at least did not have to live through this utter shitshow*

  209. 209.

    Miss Bianca

    @Quinerly: My dad used to sing that song, and another truly terrible one called “Roll Your Leg Over” which is also not fit for prime time post #MeToo, but which I loved as a kid even when I didn’t grok the references. Also told terrible dad jokes. Sigh…he’s been dead for almost 20 years, and I wish that just once before I go I could hear him tell me one of his terrible jokes and roar with laughter.

  210. 210.

    --bd

    I wrote a dad joke that my daughter actually liked. Setup: we live in Dearborn, so we are way more familiar with Islam than most Americans.

    Where won’t Muslims sail?

    Harambe!

    Even her Muslim friends laughed when she repeated it to them. Granted, it played better a couple of years ago…

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