• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The willow is too close to the house.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Pelosi: “He either is stupid, or he thinks the rest of us are.” Why not both?

It’s easier to kill a dangerous animal than a man who just happens to have different thoughts/values than one’s own.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Second rate reporter says what?

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Mobile Menu

  • Four Directions Montana
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2024 Elections
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / All Hail Tulip! First of Her Name!

All Hail Tulip! First of Her Name!

by John Cole|  July 8, 20199:09 pm| 53 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

FacebookTweetEmail

Busy day today- had a doctor’s appt., got my car inspected and street legal for another year, and got the dog’s their licenses and proof that they are immunized or vaccinated or whatever. As I noted elsewhere, Steve is still off grid. I keep forgetting you need to license dogs and not cats, which seems ass backwards, like licensing ice cream cones and allowing free range tactical nukes. Tomorrow I have my annual eye checkup and dental checkup. I guess when I scheduled this shit my thinking was “just get it all over with in as short a time as possible.”

Also, the paperwork has been received regarding the godson’s dog, so allow me to present Tulip, Scourge of the North:

I have to confess she is a touch scourgey.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Open Thread: Oh, Look, Another GOP (Alleged) Felon!
Next Post: Urgent: Pet Sitter Needed in Denver Area »

Reader Interactions

53Comments

  1. 1.

    zhena gogolia

    July 8, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    Very cute. She’ll be a handful.

  2. 2.

    debbie

    July 8, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    How would one call Always Winkin to dinner?

  3. 3.

    Mary G

    July 8, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    That face!

  4. 4.

    SiubhanDuinne

    July 8, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    With total respect, the bulldogs have never been my favourite breed (not that I know anything; I’m a cat person) — but between Betty Cracker’s Badger and now your godson’s Tulip, I am rapidly changing my mind. The name suits her. She is adorable and gorgeous. May your namesake enjoy many happy years with Tulip.

  5. 5.

    Suzanne

    July 8, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    Those ears are….substantial.

  6. 6.

    Original Lee

    July 8, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    Loving the Preacher reference. What a cute puppy!

  7. 7.

    rikyrah

    July 8, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    Tulip is adorable ??

  8. 8.

    Betty

    July 8, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    Precious little girl.

  9. 9.

    NotMax

    July 8, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    @debbie

    Easy. “Food!”

    ;)

  10. 10.

    Ruviana

    July 8, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    She’s been fully inflated!

  11. 11.

    Joy in FL

    July 8, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    I assume “off grid” means Steve is exploring the world beyond Cole’s property. I hope he returns safely and soon.

  12. 12.

    jl

    July 8, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Congrats on the cute pup. And also congrats that, surprisingly, Tulip apparently has not already executed a path of personal destruction though John G. Cole yet. But she’s young and will up her game soon.

    Edit: though if Tulip has created a Cole disaster that I missed, I’m sure other commenters will kindly inform me.

  13. 13.

    laura

    July 8, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    That sassy-face dog. I’d scritch her good if I had half a chance. That name matches her confident look.

  14. 14.

    raven

    July 8, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    Anyone use “Rover” pet services? I’m thinking about becoming a dog walker when I retire.

  15. 15.

    raven

    July 8, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    Hmm, not so great reviews. I think I’ll be better off in my just making contacts in my neighborhood.

  16. 16.

    raven

    July 8, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    @laura: Those frenchies!

  17. 17.

    Gin & Tonic

    July 8, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    @raven: ¿Hablas español? I’ve been amazed every time I was in Buenos Aires by the number of dog walkers, with truly large numbers of dogs. They seem to specialize by size, so you’ll see either a big bunch of big dogs or a big bunch of small dogs, but usually not a mixed crowd. Seems like lots of Porteños have dogs, but everybody lives in a high-rise apartment building, so the dog walkers know all the doormen, have access to all the buildings. Seems like a pretty cool thing to do.

  18. 18.

    Elizabelle

    July 8, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    Darling dog. I love her name. Right down to “Scourge.”

  19. 19.

    Ken

    July 8, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    @debbie: All the names – including “Fawn, Black Mask” – sound like superheroes. Well, maybe not “Brad Nash”, but that’s clearly a secret identity.

  20. 20.

    debbie

    July 8, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    There’s a guy around here who walks five or six retriever-sized dogs at once. Impressive pack skills.

  21. 21.

    mad citizen

    July 8, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    @Joy in FL: I took it to mean just that W.V. (or county) doesn’t require cats to be licensed. In Indiana, we are supposed to have the cat’s rabies vacc. up to date every year, but that’s it. We are usually in compliance with our one indoor/outdoor cat, but when we had 2/3/4 cats, some years we were not. For one thing, the internet told me the rabies shots are usually effective for 2/3/4 years, so I thought, why get it annually for the indoor cats?

  22. 22.

    Spanky

    July 8, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    @raven: Talk to your vet. S/he is a good conduit to other customers in need of a walker. Plus, they can be an ironclad reference.

  23. 23.

    Gin & Tonic

    July 8, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    @debbie: Five or six ain’t nothing. Do a Google image search for “Buenos Aires dog walkers.”

  24. 24.

    david

    July 8, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    So, BoycottHomeDepot is trending on twitter, because Liberals are just as utterly stupid as Conservatives.

    Literally, only a few days after that BoycottNike silliness, and they mimic the same thing they mock.

  25. 25.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    July 8, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    @david: david: thanks

  26. 26.

    Patricia Kayden

    July 8, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    Tulip is a cutie pie!! Looks like a miniature Boxer (just like Badger).

  27. 27.

    TomatoQueen

    July 8, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    Hello Tulip you little honey you, and BOOP.

  28. 28.

    Patricia Kayden

    July 8, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    @david: boycott Home Depot for what now? I’m not able to keep up with all the (failed) boycotts.

  29. 29.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    July 8, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    @debbie: Ours had call names that were different. My dad had a litter of English setters he named (Bondhu) Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod for the AKC. “Nod” was Molly, while was “Blinkin” was Lemon, and “Winkin” was Harvey. Molly was my favorite.

  30. 30.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    July 8, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: billionaire founder has vowed to open the cash spigots for trump 2020
    ETA: Lowe’s is also owned/controlled by major trump donors, I believe

  31. 31.

    Steeplejack

    July 8, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    @raven:

    Hey, consider a sideline in cat wrangling when their owners are away. You come over once a day, feed the cat(s), clean the litter box and hang out with them for a little while, make sure everything’s okay. Bonus if you send the owners a “proof of life” photo. People are really antsy about that and love it when they find someone who is reliable and cat-friendly (not just going through the motions).

    My cat wrangler is great and gets $20 a visit. Used to be $15, but, hey, D.C. She’s worth it anyway.

  32. 32.

    TaMara (HFG)

    July 8, 2019 at 10:40 pm

    @raven: Rover and Wag both have bad reps. I found my current pet sitter through NextDoor, so post your services there, or as someone said, let your vet know, they’re happy to have someone good to recommend.

  33. 33.

    TaMara (HFG)

    July 8, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    @Steeplejack:
    @raven

    Duck sitters are worth their weight in gold, too. hint, hint

  34. 34.

    Steeplejack

    July 8, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    ETA: If you have a neighborhood website (e.g., Nextdoor.com), that’s also a good way to put the word out.

  35. 35.

    Geeno

    July 8, 2019 at 10:48 pm

    OMG She’s beautiful! I hate to say it, but I put up with a lot issues for such a cute pup.
    We;d do obedience school together multiple times, I’m sure.
    BTW: Don’t take Balsama (the ad I couldn’t silence) if – well, basically, if you’re human and flawed.

  36. 36.

    FelonyGovt

    July 8, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    Tulip is adorable! Steve, go home.

  37. 37.

    plato

    July 8, 2019 at 11:14 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Apparently the billionaire founder has been an ardent trumpturd even in 2016. What changed now?

  38. 38.

    MoxieM

    July 8, 2019 at 11:38 pm

    That’s one adorable pocket pup! I had a friend with named Ivan. She fondly called him Ivan the Smellable. (Make of that what you will).

  39. 39.

    Steeplejack

    July 8, 2019 at 11:51 pm

    I think Steve is “off grid” in the sense that he has thwarted the Man’s dastardly scheme to pin him down with paperwork, “identification” and bureaucratic red tape.

  40. 40.

    Aleta

    July 8, 2019 at 11:55 pm

    Steve generates his own power.

  41. 41.

    trollhattan

    July 9, 2019 at 12:06 am

    Year is only half done but here’s my nominee for lede of the year.

    A Swiss aerial display team has performed a fly-by over the wrong town, surprising people at a yodelling festival taking place nearby.

  42. 42.

    NotMax

    July 9, 2019 at 12:18 am

    @trollhattan

    Reminded of another Swiss sky story from a few years ago.

    No Swiss jets scrambled after hijacking… as airforce only works office hours

  43. 43.

    Miss Bianca

    July 9, 2019 at 12:20 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: I hear you, but Frenchies are just so damn adorable. Look at that face! Those bat ears! SCREAMING CUTENESS.

  44. 44.

    Grover Gardner

    July 9, 2019 at 12:33 am

    OMG. My wife and daughter are howling. ;-)

  45. 45.

    Luciamia

    July 9, 2019 at 12:38 am

    What a face. Eyebrows!

  46. 46.

    Steeplejack

    July 9, 2019 at 12:42 am

    @trollhattan:

    That is excellent.

  47. 47.

    trollhattan

    July 9, 2019 at 12:42 am

    @NotMax:
    Swiss are precisely Swiss much of the time. “Who starts a war at night? It is not logical.”

    Regardless, Surprised Yodelers ranks high on my next band name list.

  48. 48.

    wasabi gasp

    July 9, 2019 at 12:55 am

    So adorable. But she looks like a Bernice.

  49. 49.

    Omnes Omnibus

    July 9, 2019 at 1:07 am

    @trollhattan: That’s why they let the English invent things like the Cresta Run.

  50. 50.

    ronno2018

    July 9, 2019 at 1:50 am

    that is one awesome doggie!

  51. 51.

    Death Panel Truck

    July 9, 2019 at 2:23 am

    The name of our older cocker on his pedigree is preceded by the name of the breeder. We got him at a place called Liberty Cockers, so his AKC name is Liberty’s El Duque.

    I would have been happy calling him Goddamn Dog. I told a friend of mine this, and she said, “You can’t call him that.” I said, “Why not? You wouldn’t have to remember a name. You could just yell, ‘C’mere, you goddamn dog!’ and he’d come running. And everybody would know his name. If he tries to poop on the yard of the lady down the block, she’ll come out and say, ‘Get that goddamn dog off my property!’ If I try to take him into a restaurant, the manager will yell, ‘Get that goddamn dog outta here!’ She didn’t think much of my idea.

  52. 52.

    kindness

    July 9, 2019 at 8:51 am

    I’ve never been much for a dog with papers. AKC is OK if you are breeding dogs but I don’t. Consequently I’m more a pound dog guy. They need love too.

  53. 53.

    Michael Cain

    July 9, 2019 at 2:29 pm

    @Death Panel Truck: My great-grandfather bred wire-haired terriers, all simply called “Dog” so that buyers could name them. My father used to say that it was hilarious when the old man would say “Dog! Stop that!” in a particular tone of voice and every dog in the kennels would freeze while they figured out whether they were the one in trouble.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • Aussie Sheila on Late Night Weekend Wrap-Up Open Thread: Journamalism, Not A Dependable Profit Center (Apr 15, 2024 @ 5:49am)
  • KSinMA on On The Road – Albatrossity – Spring migration begins (Apr 15, 2024 @ 5:43am)
  • bjacques on Late Night Weekend Wrap-Up Open Thread: Journamalism, Not A Dependable Profit Center (Apr 15, 2024 @ 5:35am)
  • eclare on On The Road – Albatrossity – Spring migration begins (Apr 15, 2024 @ 5:35am)
  • eclare on Late Night Weekend Wrap-Up Open Thread: Journamalism, Not A Dependable Profit Center (Apr 15, 2024 @ 5:24am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Talk of Meetups – Meetup Planning
Proposed BJ meetups list from frosty

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8
Virginia House Races
Four Directions – Montana
Worker Power AZ
Four Directions – Arizona
Four Directions – Nevada

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
Positive Climate News
War in Ukraine
Cole’s “Stories from the Road”
Classified Documents Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Political Action 2024

Postcard Writing Information

Balloon Juice for Four Directions AZ

Donate

Balloon Juice for Four Directions NV

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2024 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!