Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

Second rate reporter says what?

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

People are weird.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

This fight is for everything.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

We will not go back.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / All Hail Tulip! First of Her Name!

All Hail Tulip! First of Her Name!

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Busy day today- had a doctor’s appt., got my car inspected and street legal for another year, and got the dog’s their licenses and proof that they are immunized or vaccinated or whatever. As I noted elsewhere, Steve is still off grid. I keep forgetting you need to license dogs and not cats, which seems ass backwards, like licensing ice cream cones and allowing free range tactical nukes. Tomorrow I have my annual eye checkup and dental checkup. I guess when I scheduled this shit my thinking was “just get it all over with in as short a time as possible.”

Also, the paperwork has been received regarding the godson’s dog, so allow me to present Tulip, Scourge of the North:

I have to confess she is a touch scourgey.

Reader Interactions

53Comments

  4. 4.

    SiubhanDuinne

    With total respect, the bulldogs have never been my favourite breed (not that I know anything; I’m a cat person) — but between Betty Cracker’s Badger and now your godson’s Tulip, I am rapidly changing my mind. The name suits her. She is adorable and gorgeous. May your namesake enjoy many happy years with Tulip.

  11. 11.

    Joy in FL

    I assume “off grid” means Steve is exploring the world beyond Cole’s property. I hope he returns safely and soon.

  12. 12.

    jl

    Congrats on the cute pup. And also congrats that, surprisingly, Tulip apparently has not already executed a path of personal destruction though John G. Cole yet. But she’s young and will up her game soon.

    Edit: though if Tulip has created a Cole disaster that I missed, I’m sure other commenters will kindly inform me.

  13. 13.

    laura

    That sassy-face dog. I’d scritch her good if I had half a chance. That name matches her confident look.

  14. 14.

    raven

    Anyone use “Rover” pet services? I’m thinking about becoming a dog walker when I retire.

  17. 17.

    Gin & Tonic

    @raven: ¿Hablas español? I’ve been amazed every time I was in Buenos Aires by the number of dog walkers, with truly large numbers of dogs. They seem to specialize by size, so you’ll see either a big bunch of big dogs or a big bunch of small dogs, but usually not a mixed crowd. Seems like lots of Porteños have dogs, but everybody lives in a high-rise apartment building, so the dog walkers know all the doormen, have access to all the buildings. Seems like a pretty cool thing to do.

  19. 19.

    Ken

    @debbie: All the names – including “Fawn, Black Mask” – sound like superheroes. Well, maybe not “Brad Nash”, but that’s clearly a secret identity.

  21. 21.

    mad citizen

    @Joy in FL: I took it to mean just that W.V. (or county) doesn’t require cats to be licensed. In Indiana, we are supposed to have the cat’s rabies vacc. up to date every year, but that’s it. We are usually in compliance with our one indoor/outdoor cat, but when we had 2/3/4 cats, some years we were not. For one thing, the internet told me the rabies shots are usually effective for 2/3/4 years, so I thought, why get it annually for the indoor cats?

  22. 22.

    Spanky

    @raven: Talk to your vet. S/he is a good conduit to other customers in need of a walker. Plus, they can be an ironclad reference.

  24. 24.

    david

    So, BoycottHomeDepot is trending on twitter, because Liberals are just as utterly stupid as Conservatives.

    Literally, only a few days after that BoycottNike silliness, and they mimic the same thing they mock.

  28. 28.

    Patricia Kayden

    @david: boycott Home Depot for what now? I’m not able to keep up with all the (failed) boycotts.

  29. 29.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    @debbie: Ours had call names that were different. My dad had a litter of English setters he named (Bondhu) Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod for the AKC. “Nod” was Molly, while was “Blinkin” was Lemon, and “Winkin” was Harvey. Molly was my favorite.

  30. 30.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Patricia Kayden: billionaire founder has vowed to open the cash spigots for trump 2020
    ETA: Lowe’s is also owned/controlled by major trump donors, I believe

  31. 31.

    Steeplejack

    @raven:

    Hey, consider a sideline in cat wrangling when their owners are away. You come over once a day, feed the cat(s), clean the litter box and hang out with them for a little while, make sure everything’s okay. Bonus if you send the owners a “proof of life” photo. People are really antsy about that and love it when they find someone who is reliable and cat-friendly (not just going through the motions).

    My cat wrangler is great and gets $20 a visit. Used to be $15, but, hey, D.C. She’s worth it anyway.

  32. 32.

    TaMara (HFG)

    @raven: Rover and Wag both have bad reps. I found my current pet sitter through NextDoor, so post your services there, or as someone said, let your vet know, they’re happy to have someone good to recommend.

  35. 35.

    Geeno

    OMG She’s beautiful! I hate to say it, but I put up with a lot issues for such a cute pup.
    We;d do obedience school together multiple times, I’m sure.
    BTW: Don’t take Balsama (the ad I couldn’t silence) if – well, basically, if you’re human and flawed.

  38. 38.

    MoxieM

    That’s one adorable pocket pup! I had a friend with named Ivan. She fondly called him Ivan the Smellable. (Make of that what you will).

  39. 39.

    Steeplejack

    I think Steve is “off grid” in the sense that he has thwarted the Man’s dastardly scheme to pin him down with paperwork, “identification” and bureaucratic red tape.

  41. 41.

    trollhattan

    Year is only half done but here’s my nominee for lede of the year.

    A Swiss aerial display team has performed a fly-by over the wrong town, surprising people at a yodelling festival taking place nearby.

  47. 47.

    trollhattan

    @NotMax:
    Swiss are precisely Swiss much of the time. “Who starts a war at night? It is not logical.”

    Regardless, Surprised Yodelers ranks high on my next band name list.

  51. 51.

    Death Panel Truck

    The name of our older cocker on his pedigree is preceded by the name of the breeder. We got him at a place called Liberty Cockers, so his AKC name is Liberty’s El Duque.

    I would have been happy calling him Goddamn Dog. I told a friend of mine this, and she said, “You can’t call him that.” I said, “Why not? You wouldn’t have to remember a name. You could just yell, ‘C’mere, you goddamn dog!’ and he’d come running. And everybody would know his name. If he tries to poop on the yard of the lady down the block, she’ll come out and say, ‘Get that goddamn dog off my property!’ If I try to take him into a restaurant, the manager will yell, ‘Get that goddamn dog outta here!’ She didn’t think much of my idea.

  52. 52.

    kindness

    I’ve never been much for a dog with papers. AKC is OK if you are breeding dogs but I don’t. Consequently I’m more a pound dog guy. They need love too.

  53. 53.

    Michael Cain

    @Death Panel Truck: My great-grandfather bred wire-haired terriers, all simply called “Dog” so that buyers could name them. My father used to say that it was hilarious when the old man would say “Dog! Stop that!” in a particular tone of voice and every dog in the kennels would freeze while they figured out whether they were the one in trouble.

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