Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

I don’t recall signing up for living in a dystopian sci-fi novel.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

A fool as well as an oath-breaker.

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

In my day, never was longer.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The world has changed, and neither one recognizes it.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Reality always gets a vote in the end.

Let there be snark.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2020 / Late Night Horrorshow Open Thread: Florida (Thanksgiving) Man

Late Night Horrorshow Open Thread: Florida (Thanksgiving) Man

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Cranky grandpa, like others of his ilk, gets hauled away from his comfort zone for the big media-friendly “family” holiday. (Hey, it’s not like anyone in his biological family was gonna miss him.) Kudos to his handlers, who seem to have succeeded in readjusting his meds to the point where he can, however briefly, perform well enough to excite the Media Village Idiots. Such as Politico, back to d/b/a Mr. Pierce’s Tiger Beat on the Potomac:

… It was a journey shrouded in more secrecy than usual even for a presidential trip into a war zone. And it merged the made-for-TV drama Trump savors with a military display he loves: the U.S. commander-in-chief on Thanksgiving, less than a year from the next election, surrounded by cheering troops in Afghanistan.

For a president who at times seems to be at war with his own military leaders, it was a celebration of America’s troops that a small circle of White House aides planned carefully for weeks to prevent leaks that could scuttle the trip…

This time, 12 of the 13 journalists who traveled with Trump — representing news wires, print and broadcast outlets — were picked up on the roof of a public parking garage near Joint Base Andrews just outside Washington and not even told where they were traveling until just before they arrived in Afghanistan. Cell phones, hotspots and any other devices emitting a signal were confiscated from everyone traveling on Air Force One — yes, even the president himself…

The president moved through the sprawling base in a 15-vehicle motorcade that included tan Toyotas with soldiers standing in the truck beds holding combat rifles. Trump was followed into each location by teams of heavily armed combat troops in fatigues, helmets and night-vision goggles.

[Just like a Tom Clancy movie, if Tom Clancy’s hero was a fat old man who can barely strut from his motorcade to his golf cart.]

Journalists were barred from reporting on the trip until just before their departure from Afghanistan, after briefly getting internet access on the base to file. For three hours, they watched the president — in a blue suit with a red striped tie — serve turkey in a cafeteria, pose for photos and deliver remarks in a hangar to 1,500 military personnel.

[And if The Reality-Show Star had completely lost it — stripped down & proclaimed himself Emperor of Everywhere, started babbling about his Deep State enemies poisoning his Diet Cokes — no evidence except those untrustworthy flacks’ unsupported testimony. Prep work is vital!]

For once, Trump made no mention of the troubles he’s facing at home. He didn’t discuss House Democrats pushing to impeach him in the coming weeks for pressuring Ukraine to opening politically advantageous investigations against a potential 2020 opponent. He also didn’t mention his rift with military leaders, including a new one just days before this trip.

[Space Farce, though. Space Farce, we’re doing more and more… ]

He entered to the song that greets Trump at every rally — “God Bless the USA” — and was greeted with loud cheers and chants of, “USA! USA!” About 50 troops in fatigues stood behind him on a makeshift stage with a helicopter parked stage left.

Trump heaped praise on the troops and bragged about his accomplishments, specifically praising the work to destroy the Islamic State and al-Qaeda…

After a 13-hour journey, and a brief period on the ground, Trump also wistfully told the troops that his Thanksgiving meal had been cut short. “I sat down, I had a gorgeous piece of turkey and I was all set to go. And I had some mashed potatoes and I had a bite of mashed potatoes, and I never got to the turkey, because Gen. [Mark] Milley said come on over, sir, let’s take some pictures. I never got to my turkey. It’s the first time at Thanksgiving that I’ve never had anything called turkey.“

Soon after, Trump hopped back onto his plane for another long flight back to Mar-a-Lago…

Expect more of these resume-padding reach-arounds, where the horse-race media touts lavish praise on the dedicated worker bees gentling Trump between MAGA rallies and no-detail-left-to-chance media ops… right up to the point in the impeachment inquiry when ‘I had NO IDEA such horrors were being unleashed!’ becomes a more opportune defense than ‘How can we swap leaders NOW, when everybody LOVES the big guy so?’

Reader Interactions

67Comments

  2. 2.

    WaterGirl

    Boghan is in John’s twitter in the sidebar.  If John loved us, we would have a Boghan thread.  All hail Anne Laurie for looking out for us.

  3. 3.

    ThresherK

    Per Politico

    Cell phones, hotspots and any other devices emitting a signal were confiscated from everyone traveling on Air Force One — yes, even the president himself…

    Yeah, I’m gonna need a couple of other sources on that.

  13. 13.

    Jay

    @Amir Khalid:

     

    Fighting about Dressing vs. Stuffing Day,

     

    Thankful forvthe Weed Gummies and Not Your Family Day,

     

    turkey’s have always called it “The Reckoning”.

  17. 17.

    JaySinWA

    @Jay:  The Turkey’s reckoning comes before Thanksgiving. This is the rendering day.

    ETA a form of communion, sharing the body that was given for you, but no blood – probably a Catholic form.

  19. 19.

    mrmoshpotato

    Reading that Politico excerpt hurt.  It hurts to see this “rich” manchild who fell on his face into the presidency treated like he an actual serious, capable President of the United States.

     

    a gorgeous piece of turkey and I was all set to go

    And, seriously, who talks like this?  I’ve heard steaks called “a good-looking piece of meat” but to call a piece of meat “gorgeous” is just *shivers*

     

    And “all set to go”?  Dammit Milley!  This piece of poultry and I were just about to set off on a series of whimsical and zany adventures!

  23. 23.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Jay: Only the best people!  (Twenty years for a 70-year-old.  I think the sex trafficker of children will be dying in prison.)

  26. 26.

    Jay

    Today at Walmart I told the cashier Happy Thanksgiving. She said, "Happy Turkey Day." I smiled and said, "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Thanksgiving back." She started crying tears of joy & said "Happy Thanksgiving" and everyone in the store clapped— AltHomelandSecurity?? (@AltHomelandSec) November 27, 2019

  32. 32.

    Ruckus

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    I’ll take the heat.

    It was me. I was trying to post and whatever I did, someone/something did not like it. However it did the same thing last night, very late in continental US time zones.

    I think there might be something amiss.

  36. 36.

    Sab

    @Amir Khalid: My dad is now in a “memory unit” ( i. e. he has no short or medium term memory) in a nursing home. He used to be a liberal Republican, which meant that he registered as a Republican and voted as a Democrat. He adored Bill Clinton, and admired Hillary. He voted for Obama, twice.

    Now he likes Trump. Dementia speaks to dementia.

  38. 38.

    Sab

    @Sab: Also, I didn’t put him in a nursing home because I dislike his politics. I put him in a nursing home because he fell down a lot and I wasn’t big enough to pick him up, and also I was afraid he would get loose in traffic and get hit by a car. Also, he used to twist his favorite cat’s tail. Not maliciously, just ignorant. Cat didn’t care until it hurt, but then it did care. The usual downhill slide with dementia.

  39. 39.

    Amir Khalid

    @Sab:

    I defer to your experience on that. It’s been my assumption all along that Trump is merely a boor whose education didn’t sink in very well.

  40. 40.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Amir Khalid: I’m not sure how much his education needed to sink in.  (Where are his college transcripts btw?) He was going to inherit at least part of Daddy money.

     

    I can’t believe millions of people voted for this imbecile.  And are happy about it.

  41. 41.

    Sab

    @Amir Khalid: I agree with you that he used to be just a normal boor. But now he is a boor with increasingly severe dementia.

    The problem for Americans is that the VP isn’t a good alternative. He doesn’t have dementia. He was just born stupid and has stayed that way his whole life. A brighter VP could engineer a 25th amendment coup. Watching Pence is like watching a brain damaged Labrador retriever hoping for a promotion.

  42. 42.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Sab: 1. Pence is a Christo-fascist who’d love to bring about the Biblical end of the world.

     

    2. The 25th amendment is part of the Constitution.  It’s not a “coup.”. Please don’t call it that.

  43. 43.

    Sab

    @mrmoshpotato: Either way he is an idiot and he cannot do it. So we still have Trump. Who is doing amazing damage to our country, both internally and internationally.

    Anyone who thought the presidency has no power hasn’t been watching.

    Presidents are severely hamstrung for doing positive things. I had no idea that they could be so free to damage the fundamentals of our government.

  44. 44.

    Sab

    @mrmoshpotato: 25th amendment has never been applied and probably never will be, so we cannot say if, in whatever circumstances, it was a coup. That depends.

    If the VP replaces a president who is braindead from a stroke in Walter Reed, then yes, it is not a coup.

    If the VP replaces a president who is in severe cognitive decline but still wandering around the White House issuing dangerous orders (he has the nuke codes), and still wanting to be president, then yes it is a coup.

  45. 45.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @Sab: Remember a few things about the 25th Amendment, it takes a vote of the VP and Cabinet, then the President can say “I’m OK” and it would require a 2/3 vote by both houses of Congress to say, “No you’re not”.  And the President could come back again and again.  It was really intended for a President who is completely incapacitated.  It was passed in the aftermath of the Kennedy assassination where there had been a possibility of the President(Kennedy) being technically alive, but being a vegetable, being unable to perform the duties of President.

  46. 46.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @Sab:

    25th amendment has never been applied and probably never will be

    Actually it’s been invoked pretty often, when ever a President goes under general anesthesia they usually invoke it.  I know George W. Bush invoked it a couple of times.

  47. 47.

    Sab

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: I agree with you. It will never happen with a cognizant president. But if it did, in an extremely weird political climate, it would be a coup. But it never would happen. Hence impeachment is our only alternative.

    I personally would be very concerned if a sitting president’s cabinet revolted like that. And Trump has proved that would never happen. Once you get to cabinet level in government, you sell your soul unless your president is a saint.

  49. 49.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @Sab: The other thing about the 25th Amendment is that if the Cabinet did vote to say that Trump was unable to perform his duties as President, Pence wouldn’t actually become President, he would be the “Acting President”.

  54. 54.

    lumpkin

    Still blathering about the space thing. Dumb fuck doesn’t even realize that his own people are just shinin’ him on. And he’s too incompetent to actually organize any effort to make it happen. Wouldn’t even know where to start.

  55. 55.

    lumpkin

    @Sab: You are wrong. A coup is an illegal overthrow of the government. The 25th amendment is a legal process for replacing the president. Two very different things.

  58. 58.

    Zinsky

    I think every Democratic presidential candidate should henceforth refer to Trump only as “the fat, lazy criminal in the White House”.  Don’t even mention the word “Trump” since that just enhances his brand.  Every ad should point out how little this pile of garbage works in a typical week – spending most of his time in the White House residence, watching FoxNews and almost every weekend (from Friday morning until Sunday night) on the golf course.  Americans, by and large, don’t like lazy leaders.  Have Trumps many crimes (bribery, extortion, sexual assault) scrolling in text over the images.  To paraphrase Dean Wurmer, “fat, lazy and criminal is no way to go through a presidential election “!

  59. 59.

    Anya

    Still mystified by Trump’s popularity with the military. It’s scary if you think about it — a greater number of military folks than the general public support a crass, xenophobic, racist POTUS who’s without honor.

  61. 61.

    Marklar

    Was this finally the pivot we’ve been promised?

    Tune in next week for Crime-Boss Apprentice to find out!

  62. 62.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    So Trump is so desperate he’s been reduced to acting like an adult. Unbelievable.

  63. 63.

    Citizen Alan

    @Sab:

    I finally came around to supporting impeachment a month ago. Not because of any new evidence; Shitgibbon has deserved impeachment since the day he took office. And not because of any change in the political dynamics; I still say there’s no possibility that MoscowMitch will allow a conviction in the Senate. It’s simply that Shitgibbon’s dementia and insanity has worsened to the point to where I now finally believe he’s more likely to start a nuclear holocaust than Pence who, despite his own insanity, could still have a moment of clarity and realize he might not be Raptured before the bombs hit!” Shitgibbon wouldn’t care about dying in WW3* if he could be sure in taking his enemies with him.

     

    *Actually WW4. WW3 was fought in the summer and fall of 2016. The bad guys won.

  64. 64.

    Citizen Alan

    @Anya: I blame Dubya. His administration deliberately lowered the admission standards drastically to get warm bodies for his splendid little wars. We went from 94% of inductees having high school diplomas down to 71%. It’s unsurprising that by increasing the number of soldiers who joined the military because they were otherwise unemployable wretches, we would increase the number of Trump supporters.

  65. 65.

    Ruckus

    @Anya:

    They support him because he says what they think.

    They support him because he’s as logical as they are.

    They support him because he’s that and they believe rich so that makes him smart. He believes what they believe and he is their president.

    They’ve never had, in their minds a true leader, one who hates the same people they do, who thinks that money is everything and the the masters of the bank will save them.

    They are as logical as he is. Not at all. They are the sheep that will run right over the edge of the cliff following him in his golf cart.

  66. 66.

    Bill Arnold

    A thing called space. You know about that right? Space. We’re going to have space covered very well.

    Savoring this. (Money could be better spent, but at least it is not spent on overt evil.)

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