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You are here: Home / Absent Friends / RIP / Wish Me Luck

Wish Me Luck

by John Cole|  February 13, 20208:40 pm| 155 Comments

This post is in: RIP

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About once every two years, I screw up and forget to plan ahead for dinner. I have done so tonight. I also have no desire to go anywhere, so you know what that means- delivery pizza.

Sadly, I live in an area that is not know for its abundance of delivery food or pizza. So you know what that means.

Dominos.

I estimate I will feel sick to my stomach within 2 hours.

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Previous Post: « Valentine Eve Open Thread: War’s Over, the Bigots Lost, Get Over It
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Reader Interactions

155Comments

  1. 1.

    Urza

    February 13, 2020 at 8:43 pm

    Not sure about your local branch, but Domino’s is actually edible since they redid their recipes from cardboard a few years back.

  2. 2.

    debbie

    February 13, 2020 at 8:47 pm

    They brought in Dominos at work a couple of days ago. First time I had it and it was pretty meh.

  3. 3.

    hells littlest angel

    February 13, 2020 at 8:48 pm

    I thought they guaranteed sick to your stomach in 30 minutes or less.

  4. 4.

    TaMara (HFG)

    February 13, 2020 at 8:49 pm

    Eggs, rice, veggies and seasoning of your choice. Just saying. :-)

    But Dominoes will probably be okay. I myself like a good frozen pizza on occasion, especially if I can fire up the wood pellet grill.

  5. 5.

    Jeffro

    February 13, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    Just eat the toppings and skip the crust, JC..,it’s all that super-refined sugar-flour that makes you sick

    no wait…just eat the crust and skip the toppings…it’s all that cheap cheese and preservative-laden meat that makes you sick

     

    just eat the box?

  6. 6.

    Steeplejack

    February 13, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    @Urza:

    Yeah, I haven’t had any of the big brands in ages (Brick’s here in NoVA for the win), but I have read that Domino’s is supposed to be the best of the bunch now. (Not saying much, I know.)

    ETA: I am in no need of dinner because I had a delicious eight-ounce filet and a loaded baked potato at Longhorn Steakhouse for lunch. Yum!

  7. 7.

    phein60

    February 13, 2020 at 8:55 pm

    My twenty-something kids say Domino’s has gotten much better in recent years, just don’t go crazy with the meat toppings.

  8. 8.

    Yutsano

    February 13, 2020 at 8:55 pm

    @TaMara (HFG):  One of my major guilty pleasures is Totino’s frozen pizza doctored up with veggies and extra cheese. It’s grunge food but oh man does it hit the spot for me!

  9. 9.

    dr. bloor

    February 13, 2020 at 8:55 pm

    It won’t be as interesting or as potentially dangerous as food poisoning. You will feel sated in a bland space-occupying sense afterwards, and wake up tomorrow feeling like you traded poorly on the virtue-enjoyment spectrum.

  10. 10.

    Chris Johnson

    February 13, 2020 at 8:56 pm

    I had some last year and the crust was coated in oil with garlic specks all over it, that got all over my hands and was super strong flavored (‘flavorful’ would imply a more natural sort of thing). Still not sure if I ordered wrong somehow: I was expecting something a lot blander, and it wasn’t awesome even when I was expecting Domino’s.
    Is that garlic-flecked oil coated crust thing normal?

    I lived on the stuff in college, more than thirty years ago, but man, wasn’t expecting that.

  11. 11.

    Chris Johnson

    February 13, 2020 at 8:58 pm

    @Yutsano: Totinos pizzacrackers are awesome! They’re not food, but they’re awesome! They’re like out of the ‘pizza roll’ piece of the food pyramid. It’s the block forty feet away from the rest of the pyramid in the dumpster :)

  12. 12.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 9:00 pm

    Surprised that the fuckng old house is so unstocked that Domino’s needs to be called.

    I just finished off a beef and cheese quesadilla.

    ETA – Jinkies!

  13. 13.

    Kent

    February 13, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    Oh great.   Barr is destroying our democracy and rule of law and now I gotta worry about Cole’s health too?

  14. 14.

    debbie

    February 13, 2020 at 9:03 pm

    Donatos Pizza is pretty good, but Wiki tells me it’s only in 10 states.

  15. 15.

    dmsilev

    February 13, 2020 at 9:05 pm

    This is why a freezer filled with leftovers is A Good Idea.

  16. 16.

    Another Scott

    February 13, 2020 at 9:10 pm

    I thought you had a cellar full of canned food? Stuff you canned yourself? Did you give it all away??

    :-)

    Good luck!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  17. 17.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 9:10 pm

    @Chris Johnson: They’re not food, but they’re awesome!

    Nominate yourself.

  18. 18.

    Gravenstone

    February 13, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    @Yutsano:  Totinos, or Tonys were stolid standbys in college. Of course, at only 79 cents in those days, they were also quite within the meager financial reach of your average student.

  19. 19.

    Uncle Cosmo

    February 13, 2020 at 9:13 pm

    @dmsilev: This is why a freezer filled with leftovers is A Good Idea.

    Or for that matter just basic fixins. Premade ready-to-bake pizza shells (pack of 2 or 3) and shredded mozzarella in the freezer; can or jar of pizza sauce in the pantry; pepperoni stick or frozen meatballs in fridge or pantry; parmesan/romano grated for sprinkling; extra Eye-talian seasoning on the rack.

    This is not rocket science, Cole. It isn’t even bottle rocket science. For shame.

  20. 20.

    Dr. Ronnie James, D.O.

    February 13, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    Could be worse – could be Pizza Hut or Little Caesars…

  21. 21.

    Martin

    February 13, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    Obligatory.

    Each bite is like an angel giving birth in your mouth.

  22. 22.

    patrick II

    February 13, 2020 at 9:17 pm

    As long as it’s not Papa John’s you should be ok.

  23. 23.

    NotMax

    February 13, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    Must be at least one greasy spoon place other than that the college kids favor for deliveries to their dorm rooms.

  24. 24.

    Morzer

    February 13, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Have you considered the health benefits of intermittent fasting, Mr. Cole?

  25. 25.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    @patrick II: Papa John’s – Taste the Racism

  26. 26.

    schrodingers_cat

    February 13, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    Always keep a bag of frozen shrimp in the freezer for a quick dinner. Or omlet and toast if I am just too lazy.

  27. 27.

    Ocotillo

    February 13, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    Why do Nazis own or start the big Pizza chains?

  28. 28.

    Martin

    February 13, 2020 at 9:36 pm

    @Ocotillo: Probably because  you need to be one to pay your employees and drivers so little to make your business profitable.

  29. 29.

    zhena gogolia

    February 13, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    We get those Boboli crusts. Just with olive oil and parmesan or even some tuna (good tuna), they make a fine dinner.

    I can’t stomach fast food any more. It’s what I consider a perk of aging.

  30. 30.

    SW

    February 13, 2020 at 9:44 pm

    No, it is Bob who made the pizza after he used the can and didn’t wash his hands that makes you sick.  You never know where Bob is going to pop (poop?) up.  That is why delivery and fast food in general is a crap? shoot.

  31. 31.

    geg6

    February 13, 2020 at 9:53 pm

    @SW:

    My rule is to only get delivery from local places, never a large national corporate franchise.  If I don’t know the owner and half the employees by name, they won’t be delivering to my house.  As for fast food, the closest I come to that is Panera or, in a pinch, a salad from Wendy’s.

  32. 32.

    NotMax

    February 13, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    Really don’t have so much as a package of pasta or a can of tuna tucked away for when a blizzard strikes? Wow.

  33. 33.

    PsiFighter37

    February 13, 2020 at 9:58 pm

    Let us know how long you’ve been sitting on the toilet in your next post. Godspeed.

  34. 34.

    Raven Onthill

    February 13, 2020 at 9:58 pm

    Domino Death. (“And if you manage to survive you get the pizza for free!”)

  35. 35.

    CaseyL

    February 13, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Used to be a chain called Pizza Haven, and working there was my very first job after moving to Seattle back in the mid-70s. I honestly don’t remember if Pizza Haven was considered “good pizza,” but it was way popular in the University District, because college students aren’t known for their discriminating palates.

    They had a Smorgasbord Night, $5 all you can eat.  Working “Smorgie Night” was fun, believe it or not.  The kitchen made small pizzas faster than you’d think possible, cut ’em into five pieces, and the waitstaff would go out with two or three trays balanced on our arms to a restaurant full of hungry college students.  IIRC, the Haven brought in six employees to be waitstaff just for Smorgie night.

    Toward the end of the evening, the kitchen staff got kind of squirrely and sent us out with weird and ghastly combos.  I remember shrimp and anchovy was one.  Damned if the college kids didn’t hoover those up, too.

    Best part? After each swing-through, when we went back and had any pizza left on our trays, we could eat that while the next batch was being readied.  (Remember: we were college kids, too!)

  36. 36.

    elspi

    February 13, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Have you considered starvation.  I don’t see how it could be worse.

  37. 37.

    NotMax

    February 13, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    @zhena gogolia

    I can’t stomach fast food any more. It’s what I consider a perk of aging.

    Yesiree bob. You said a mouthful.

    So much of that crap tastes super, super salty.

  38. 38.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 13, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    I got your back Cole. I keep cans of beans and soup on hand and I’ve almost always got some chicken breasts or Italian sausage in the freezer, but there are days when even that takes too much energy.

  39. 39.

    Brachiator

    February 13, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    John Cole,

    With Uber Eats and similar services, you sometimes have more delivery options, for a small fee of course.

    But next time you’re hungry and didn’t plan ahead, this might be worth looking into.

  40. 40.

    Morzer

    February 13, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    @NotMax: I thought Steve was supposed to be in charge of the murine delicacy supply chain. Can it really be the case that Cole does not enjoy a daily diet of honey-fried dormice?

  41. 41.

    NotMax

    February 13, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    @CaseyL

    Shrimp and anchovy actually sounds darn good. Add black olives and you’ve probably got a winner.

  42. 42.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    I finally found a use for my old Foreman grill. It’s useful for “grilling” the eggplant slices for eggplant parmessan.

  43. 43.

    Kent

    February 13, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    @Brachiator:With Uber Eats and similar services, you sometimes have more delivery options, for a small fee of course.

    In rural West Virginia?

  44. 44.

    geg6

    February 13, 2020 at 10:04 pm

    Fuck.  It’s supposed to be the coldest night of the winter and the power just went out.  Probably one of the zillion Louisianans here working on the cracker plant who doesn’t have a clue how to drive on our snow/sleet/ice covered roads and took out a pole.  The influx of so many southerners here has made this place almost unlivable. Bad enough all the native hillbillies and hicks who live here, but now we have to deal with these people?  At least our white trash know how to drive in bad weather.

  45. 45.

    Morzer

    February 13, 2020 at 10:04 pm

    @Kent: Doesn’t Cole live in the metropolitan coastal elite area of West Virginia?

  46. 46.

    Mike J

    February 13, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    Just earlier today I saw somebody on twitter say that sex is like pizza: if you’re having it at Domino’s you need to rethink your life.

  47. 47.

    Morzer

    February 13, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    @Mike J: Now that’s a domino theory I could get behind.

  48. 48.

    jl

    February 13, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    This is another example of the Coleworld problems we have to hear about on this blog.

    But, even if it is a Coleworld problem, given the extreme, truly dangerous and rash, remedies Cole prefers, I wish him luck. I hope he re-appears later this evening so some BJ-er doesn’t feel obliged to do a welfare check.

  49. 49.

    geg6

    February 13, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    @geg6:

    And before any Louisianans get pissed, they aren’t the only terrible drivers from out of state making life even more miserable on the roads around here because of the damn cracker plant.  Apparently no one from Texas, Oklahoma or Georgia knows how to drive either.

  50. 50.

    opiejeanne

    February 13, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    @Dr. Ronnie James, D.O.: Hey now, Pizza Hut in Paris is great. They offer a wide selection of wine as well as several other  options besides pizza.

  51. 51.

    Morzer

    February 13, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    @jl: Surely Cole’s remedy would to mop naked while thinking godly thoughts?

  52. 52.

    opiejeanne

    February 13, 2020 at 10:15 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: Domino’s is owned by a RW religious nutcase.

  53. 53.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 10:17 pm

    @Mike J: He’s getting takeout Mike.

  54. 54.

    Mai naem mobile

    February 13, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    @Dr. Ronnie James, D.O.: the founder of Little Caesars died fairly recently. Anyhow, he was apparently known to be progressive. I’ve had Little Caesars pizza maybe twice in my life(years ago) and it was just awful. Bad toppings. The crust tasted weird bad.  But I have a single mom coworker who gets it quite a bit when she doesn’t have the energy to cook and she says its improved a lot.

  55. 55.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 13, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    just stumbled across this tweet that is a few hours older than Cole’s post

    Erin three batter minimum Ryan @morninggloria
    Sex is like pizza: if you’re having it at Domino’s, it’s time to re-examine the choices you’ve made that led you her

    ETA: @Mike J: Damn

  56. 56.

    opiejeanne

    February 13, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    @NotMax: Not just salty, sometimes it tastes like there’s a little sugar on things like French fries.

  57. 57.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    @geg6: After the last couple of winters, kids born and bred in northern Ohio don’t know how to drive in snow anymore.

    Kind of like skiing in California mountains, where you know that everyone driving on the mountain road around you with chains on their tires experience maybe four hours of snow driving a year.

  58. 58.

    Mike J

    February 13, 2020 at 10:26 pm

    @JaySinWA: I think they say “outcall”.

  59. 59.

    Mike J

    February 13, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: You got the cite, I was lazy.

  60. 60.

    opiejeanne

    February 13, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    @Mai naem mobile: He paid Rosa Parks’s rent for many years until her death.

    In 1992, while my husband was living 400 miles away and I had a job that was sometimes physically draining, and we were broke, we ate a lot of Little Caesar’s pizza on nights when I couldn’t face the kitchen. They had a coupon in the paper almost every week for a $5 pizza, and it was big enough that it fed my 3 kids and myself.  It was ok, we didn’t crave it, but it was ok

    The founder died in 2017. Seemed like years ago to me.

  61. 61.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    @Brachiator: I don’t know about Uber Eats, but Grubhub and Yelp are working on a bad reputation.

    If you want to hear another story about how @seamless @grubhub, and @yelp are defrauding us restaurants and their customers, pull up a chair. I have a story to tell.— Pim Techamuanvivit (@chezpim) January 26, 2020

  62. 62.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 13, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    @Sab:  I remember a few years ago on Car Talk, somebody called in and said, I’m embarrassed to ask this, but everybody says, ‘steer into the skid’. What does that mean?
    Both Magliozzi brothers bellowed, “NOBODY KNOWS!”

  63. 63.

    Tom Streeter

    February 13, 2020 at 10:30 pm

    Dominos isn’t awful anymore where I am (we do this thin crust white garlic chicken & onions that’s really good) . Hope your experience works out.

  64. 64.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 10:30 pm

    @opiejeanne: Never said we couldn’t have two shitty pizza chains owned by Trump trash. :)

  65. 65.

    Redshift

    February 13, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    Brick’s here in NoVA for the win 

    Indeed, and also Lost Dog. I remember eating Pizza Hut when I was a teenager/young adult. Now I can’t imagine doing it.

  66. 66.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Finally the Truth.

  67. 67.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 10:32 pm

    @Mike J: I kind of mangled the punchline, delivery not takeout. Is outcall the restaurant internal term? or is this a coastal idiom?

  68. 68.

    Martin

    February 13, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    @JaySinWA: CA has a bill in the pipeline to require delivery services give the customer information they collect to the restaurant they are delivering from, so that the delivery services don’t completely capture their customer access.

    I wonder if the bill would reveal this sort of thing.

  69. 69.

    Gvg

    February 13, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    I worked at a pizza place when I was young and was taught what good pizza should be. In the years since, I have learned shortcuts. Martha White pizza crust mix packets stored in the pantry because I hate chain made or frozen pizza. I use 2 packets and 1/2 the water it says. Ragu spaghetti sauce, I prefer the mushroom kind. Shredded mixed cheese 6 cheese or Italian mix from our grocery store. Always use the skim cheese as non skim melts to fatty. 2 packets of that plus sprinkled parmasian with a heavy hand. Toppings. I prefer double mushrooms. If you go heavy on veggies, watch out, they bake out water and can make the crust get soggy. Dehydrating them can help but it’s best just not to overdo green peppers and onions. For fancy occasions stick tomato slices on top for looks.

    my employer made their own dough and sauce but I found these substitutes quite tasty. It’s also not time consuming and of course pizza is good cold or rewarmed so I always make more than I need.

  70. 70.

    Redshift

    February 13, 2020 at 10:35 pm

    @JaySinWA: According to my millennial coworkers who order a lot more delivery than I do and are aware of the issues with the delivery services, “Uber Eats is the god damn devil.” I presume that means they’re even worse in that regard, who doesn’t surprise me because, hey, it’s Uber.

  71. 71.

    opiejeanne

    February 13, 2020 at 10:36 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Ha! We had it demonstrated to us in HS. You steer in the direction the car is skidding in. It’s terrifying, against your instincts, but it might give back control of the car if you do it as soon as the skid starts

     

    And hope you’re not too close to a cliff edge.

  72. 72.

    opiejeanne

    February 13, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: I was just saying.

  73. 73.

    Mai naem mobile

    February 13, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    Pizza Hut used to be good when they only had the sit down places. They went downhill once they started doing delivery and cutting corners because of the competition. I remember years ago when we travelled that as vegetarians Pizza Hut was the one standby that we knew we could get a satisfying meal.You could be in.some podunk town and there was good.old Pizza.Hit

  74. 74.

    Steve

    February 13, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    Come to Northern California where it’s not only beautiful but delicious

  75. 75.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    @Dr. Ronnie James, D.O.: I’ve had both Pizza Hut and Little Caesar’s. I haven’t seen a Pizza Hut in ages. But I wouldn’t put them in a lower class than a Domino’s. Kind of meh, but not outrageously bad.

  76. 76.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    TaMara’s instapot ricecooker pancake is good for an emergency. Flour, milk, eggs, a little sugar and baking powder. My ancient rice-cooker couldn’t handle it ( kept shutting off: “this isn’t rice!”) and I don’t have an instapot, so I baked it at 300 degrees in a greased cast iron fying pan and it was wonderful and fluffy

    Sometimes I serve it with maple syrup and or fruit. Sometimes I make it savory, with herbs and grated cheese thrown in.

  77. 77.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    Things never heard in Scooby Doo

    “Well, after so many of these  monsters being thieving scumbags in rubber suits, Scoob and I just decided to finally hit one in the nards and then beat them with all these suspicious wooden crates.”

  78. 78.

    Mai naem mobile

    February 13, 2020 at 10:43 pm

    @opiejeanne: everything in the Trumpov era seems like years ago. It really seemed like I read the obit last year. The Progressive Insurance founder was apparently also considered progressive and died relatively  recently. Apparently he was a big progressive cause donor.

  79. 79.

    Patricia Kayden

    February 13, 2020 at 10:48 pm

    The President says if New York will stop investigating potential crimes he committed he will restore the global entry status he denied them for reasons which are now plain for all to see.Senate Republicans protected a corrupt President who operates by shakedown and extortion. https://t.co/MunDqpLjLi— Rep. Don Beyer (@RepDonBeyer) February 13, 2020

  80. 80.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 10:50 pm

    @Mai naem mobile: Yes he was. Big on legalizing maijuana. My step-daughter worked there. They were demanding but pretty open. Willing to work with all sorts of different personality types as well as just the usual racial gender diversity. Very unusual in Cleveland.

  81. 81.

    Keith P

    February 13, 2020 at 10:52 pm

    No Marco’s in your area?  They’re the best chain IMO, particularly their super pepperoni (forgot what it’s called, but it’s got 2 kinds of pepperoni and cheese or something sprinkled on the crust)

  82. 82.

    The Pale Scot

    February 13, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    One word;

     

    Omelete

     

    Well two words actually

     

    Omelete and bacon

  83. 83.

    Robmassing

    February 13, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    Dominos is soooooo good.

  84. 84.

    Duane

    February 13, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    @opiejeanne: Try a Chicken McNugget.  All you can taste is sugar and salt.

  85. 85.

    Redshift

    February 13, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    I went to the Elizabeth Warren rally/turn hall here in Northern Virginia and it was pretty awesome. Line around the block to get in, great energy. Strong speech, great questions from the audience and she did really well with them. There wasn’t a selfie line, which was disappointing, but it was because they’d gotten a late start after visiting the overflow line of people who couldn’t fit into the overflow room, which is a good problem to have. (I remember the first time Obama really impressed me in 2008 was when I was at a multi-candidate forum, didn’t get into the main room, and then the audio went out. He was the only candidate who came to the overflow room and spoke.)

    There was a good emphasis on organizing, that if you want all the good things she’s promising, you have to make it happen. I’m signed up for canvassing Saturday.

  86. 86.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    @The Pale Scot: That’s three words, and I don’t eat pork since I met a potbellied pig years ago. Perhaps cheese instead?

  87. 87.

    khead

    February 13, 2020 at 11:00 pm

    RIP John Cole.

  88. 88.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    February 13, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    @Redshift:

    I love Lost Dog! But I don’t think they deliver, at least not to me. But they’re my choice when I go out. Okay, Pupatella sometimes.

    ETA: I think it was on your recommendation that I started up with Brick’s.

  89. 89.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    @Sab: I have an instant pot, (and a rice cooker in a storeroom), but the proportions on that recipe seemed beyond reason for two people. Now a scaled down skillet version would be much more reasonable. Thanks.

  90. 90.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:05 pm

    @Redshift: I got a call today from a Warren person newly arrived from Iowa to perk up our activities. Canvassing on Saturday! I told her I didn’t have a smart phone. She said fine, she’d print me out some sheets, so I will be canvassing on Saturday.Yay!

  91. 91.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    February 13, 2020 at 11:07 pm

    @JaySinWA:

    “Outcall” is what prostitutes call delivery.

  92. 92.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 11:08 pm

    @khead:

    Poor John is daid
    Poor John Cole is daid
    All gather round his coffin now and cry
    He had a heart of gold
    And he wasn’t very old
    Oh why did such a fella have to die

    Poor John is daid
    Poor John Cole is daid
    He’s looking oh so peaceful and serene

    And serene!

    He’s all laid down to rest
    With his hands across his chest
    His fingernails have never looked so clean

  93. 93.

    James E Powell

    February 13, 2020 at 11:08 pm

    Trader Joe’s has a variety of small frozen pizzas. I keep my freezer stocked with them for situations like Cole’s. About once every two weeks.

  94. 94.

    The Pale Scot

    February 13, 2020 at 11:09 pm

    @Sab: Cheese is wonderful. A good omelete is always satisfying. Just don’t overcook it. Slow, low heat, lotsa butter and thyme.

  95. 95.

    SectionH

    February 13, 2020 at 11:09 pm

    @The Pale Scot: That’s three…      [ducking]

  96. 96.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:12 pm

    @JaySinWA: I did her half recipe in an 8 inch pan, and two people had leftovers. Took about an hour in the oven.

  97. 97.

    Redshift

    February 13, 2020 at 11:14 pm

    @Steeplejack (phone): Glad to be of service. :-) Some Lost Dog locations do deliver. Brick’s is the one that’s closer to home, and Lost Dog is near my office, so I get the best of both worlds.

  98. 98.

    Redshift

    February 13, 2020 at 11:16 pm

    @Sab: Excellent!

  99. 99.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:16 pm

    @The Pale Scot: It took me years to realize eggs need to be cooked at low temperatures. Otherwise rubber.

  100. 100.

    laura

    February 13, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    1. I’d have urged Cole to have spaghetti with garlic and olive oil- who doesn’t have that? Or breakfast for dinner. That said, spouse made pizza dough tonight; its resting in the fridge until tomorrow night to meet up with the red sauce I made on Sunday. Spouse took a pizza class a year ago and learned a couple of really good tricks: precook the veg to reduce the moisture and increase the flavor, a really good can of crushed tomatoes spooned right out the can and onto the dough is an excellent sauce, build the pizza on a piece of parchment paper and shove the whole thing in the oven or onto the pizza stone and then yank the paper out after a few minutes – use the darkening of the paper as a guide – if it looks just about to catch fire as that gives the crust a chance to seal and keep if from sticking to the peel on the way in and the way out. Spouse is planning heart shaped pies. This heart will burn – with love!
  101. 101.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    February 13, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    @JaySinWA:

    If you “haven’t seen a Pizza Hut in ages,” how do you know what the quality is like now?

  102. 102.

    Amir Khalid

    February 13, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    @Sab:

    I have a somewhat different reason for not partaking of Schweinefleisch: If I eat pork, will be struck by lightning.

  103. 103.

    Patricia Kayden

    February 13, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    O’Reilly to Trump in November: You didn’t direct Rudy to go to Ukraine on your behalf?Trump: “No, I didn’t direct him.”Geraldo to Trump today: Are you sorry you sent Rudy to Ukraine?Trump: “No, not at all.”Story from @MarshallCohen: https://t.co/09mVQ5Xv3r— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) February 14, 2020

  104. 104.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    @laura: That sounds so romantic and delicious.

  105. 105.

    JoyceH

    February 13, 2020 at 11:24 pm

    I live out in the country where Dominos is about the only delivery option. I think it’s okay. But if you don’t want pizza, you could order pasta or a sandwich.

  106. 106.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 11:24 pm

    @Sab: Mmmmmm slow-cooked scrambled eggs.

    Link

  107. 107.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    February 13, 2020 at 11:26 pm

    @Redshift: Virginia is a good state for her.  Hillary won it with 65% of vote.    So they don’t have a problem voting for a woman.

  108. 108.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 11:31 pm

    @Steeplejack (phone): I don’t, I just know back then they were mediocre, not terrible. IMHO. OTOH I can’t remember having an entirely bad pizza, so I probably don’t have a discriminating pizza palate. I do enjoy pizza from a local place that has a good reputation from everyone who I’ve met that has eaten there, so maybe I know good from mediocre/bad. I’ve had some bad pizza service and Domino’s was one.

  109. 109.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 11:32 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Well, eating anything while standing next to a charged Tesla coil is a bad idea.

  110. 110.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    @Amir Khalid: i don’t eat dog either. Pretty much for my same reason. Same for you for your same reason?

    My guess is you cheat less than my friends do. For some reason the current culinary craze in America is bacon in everything. Bacon in salads. Bacon in every kind of entree. Bacon in potatoes. Bacon in desserts!

    My city has lots of Jews and lots of Muslims and lots of lapsed vegetarians like me. I do not understand this bacon obsession. I go out to eat and ordering is impossible. Everything has bacon. I can request hold the bacon, but then they don’t hold and the food arrives with bacon! Refuse to accept it? Accept it and don’t eat it while paying for it? Irks me.

  111. 111.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    February 13, 2020 at 11:35 pm

    @Patricia Kayden:

    Don Beyer is my rep. The fightin’ Eighth!

  112. 112.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    @laura: My heart shaped pizzas have ended up either misshapen from the beginning or distorted in trying to place them on the stone. It’s the thought that counts though, so my wife says.

  113. 113.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 11:37 pm

    @Sab: Bacon for dessert!

  114. 114.

    debbie

    February 13, 2020 at 11:38 pm

    @Patricia Kayden:

    Quid Pro Quo Number Eleventy Billion. ?

  115. 115.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:40 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: I know. Just dust it with powdered sugar and pour a little maple syrup on top.

  116. 116.

    SectionH

    February 13, 2020 at 11:41 pm

    @geg6: I truly feel your pain. Not sure if it helps to know San Diegans are just as incompetent in a bit of rain as your southerners in snow and ice… but it’s remarkable. We generally don’t take the car out on days it’s actually raining, because idiots, unless we’ve had 3 or 4 days in a row, which is when people seem to remember how to drive in rain. I have saved a couple of screen shots of traffic maps on classic days when it rained, like first time in a year… It’s unreal.

    Yes, I can handle snow, ice, whatevs. Spent college years in Minnesota. Must say that my experience in Kentucky and WV is that the first snow is always a mess. Cars everywhere. But if it’s one of those winters, most ppl kinda remember how to drive in the slick.

  117. 117.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    February 13, 2020 at 11:42 pm

    @laura:

    This heart will burn—with love!

    LOL. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  118. 118.

    Pete Mack

    February 13, 2020 at 11:43 pm

    It’s about every 5 years for me. That is how long it takes me to forget how gross it was on the previous visit.

  119. 119.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 11:43 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: That reminds me of the hot dog electrocution device that was sold when I was young, apparently a comerical version of a DIY project from years earlier. It made a resurgence a few years back I believe. I may have imagined eating one, but I remember it tasted of ozone.

  120. 120.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    @JaySinWA: Laugh out loud.

  121. 121.

    debbie

    February 13, 2020 at 11:48 pm

    @Sab:

    I suppose this might not be a good time to tell you of my fondness for raw bacon back in my adolescence (yeah, I know about the dangers). I didn’t have it often, but yum!

  122. 122.

    JaySinWA

    February 13, 2020 at 11:49 pm

    @Sab: That would work I suppose, but there’s more to the world of bacon deserts than that:

    https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/17735/meat-and-poultry/pork/bacon/desserts/

  123. 123.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:50 pm

    @debbie: My dog  would like to sit next to you.

  124. 124.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:51 pm

    @JaySinWA: Next you’ll be working in anchovies into dessert.

  125. 125.

    Patricia Kayden

    February 13, 2020 at 11:52 pm

    Lou Dobbs, Wednesday: “Bill Barr is doing the Lord’s work as well as that of this great republic.”Lou Dobbs, Thursday: “I am so disappointed in Bill Barr."— Peter Baker (@peterbakernyt) February 14, 2020

  126. 126.

    CaseyL

    February 13, 2020 at 11:52 pm

    OT, but this is an amazing piece of work:

    Founding Fathers sing anti-Trump parody of Miss American Pie

  127. 127.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:53 pm

    @JaySinWA: Just no! I do have several exceptional mincemeat cookie recipes.

  128. 128.

    Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman)

    February 13, 2020 at 11:55 pm

    Curious.

    I didn’t feel like cooking tonight and ordered Domino’s carryout, since there’s a store right across the street and some of the carryout deals aren’t bad.

    What’s interesting is that I used to order it 2-3 times a week, but after my gallbladder infection/removal last July, I started cooking at home more and my last order was in November.

  129. 129.

    Sab

    February 13, 2020 at 11:56 pm

    @Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman): How was it?

  130. 130.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 11:58 pm

    @JaySinWA: Ozone, delicious ozone.

  131. 131.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 13, 2020 at 11:59 pm

    @debbie:

    fondness for raw bacon 

    So. many. questions.

  132. 132.

    SectionH

    February 14, 2020 at 12:00 am

    @laura: Awwwww… you betcha! Sounds… lovely.

    Mr S is my chef. I mean, he cooks almost all of our meals, and does not like me in “his” kitchen. Well, the kitchen’s very small (we have plans to expand of course) but the trade-off is worth it.

    You’re the laura who throws Amazing big parties at times, right? Well, I thought your party reports are amazing anyway.

  133. 133.

    Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman)

    February 14, 2020 at 12:03 am

     

    @Sab: Not bad, actually.

    As others have said, they changed the recipes so it doesn’t taste like tomato sauce smeared on corrugated any more.

    FWIW, I prefer their “marinara” sauce over the stock tomato sauce.

    There are better local pizza shops, but none within easy walking distance and I don’t have a car.

  134. 134.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 14, 2020 at 12:04 am

    “If you love something, you shoot it in the face.”

    -Zombieland 2 and Dick Cheney

  135. 135.

    SectionH

    February 14, 2020 at 12:05 am

    @CaseyL: OMG… I’m only at 2:33, and going to post the link in places… that is fucking brilliant.

  136. 136.

    Kent

    February 14, 2020 at 12:06 am

    @SectionH:

    @geg6: I truly feel your pain. Not sure if it helps to know San Diegans are just as incompetent in a bit of rain as your southerners in snow and ice… but it’s remarkable. We generally don’t take the car out on days it’s actually raining, because idiots, unless we’ve had 3 or 4 days in a row, which is when people seem to remember how to drive in rain. I have saved a couple of screen shots of traffic maps on classic days when it rained, like first time in a year… It’s unreal.

    Yes, I can handle snow, ice, whatevs. Spent college years in Minnesota. Must say that my experience in Kentucky and WV is that the first snow is always a mess. Cars everywhere. But if it’s one of those winters, most ppl kinda remember how to drive in the slick.

    Dry areas like San Diego can have more slippery roads after rains than wet areas like here in Portland.  You get a month or two of road oil and grime accumulate on the streets and highways, then get a cloudburst and all that oil lifts up and floats on top creating slick conditions.  Here in the Portland area we get frequent enough rain that the streets are continually rinsed and the oil and grime never accumulate that much.

  137. 137.

    Sab

    February 14, 2020 at 12:06 am

    @CaseyL: That was amazing.

  138. 138.

    JaySinWA

    February 14, 2020 at 12:10 am

    @Kent: Even in wet Seattle, with enough dry days in summer the first rains are pretty treacherous.

    Of course we are notorious for sunshine backups when the sun is out. East/west routes can get blinding at the right time of day.

  139. 139.

    Amir Khalid

    February 14, 2020 at 12:19 am

    @Sab:

    Bacon’s appeal is easy enough to understand: Meat! Salt! Fat! Win! But a lifetime of anti-pork indoctrination keeps me from ever being tempted. I’ve tried beef bacon, but I guess I’m one of the few who don’t much care for salty fatty meat.

  140. 140.

    Jerzy Russian

    February 14, 2020 at 12:22 am

    @CaseyL:   Goddamn, that was amazing.   Looking for a cigarette, may have to settle for a candy cane.

  141. 141.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 14, 2020 at 12:23 am

    @CaseyL: Wow.  Awesome.

  142. 142.

    JaySinWA

    February 14, 2020 at 12:26 am

    @Amir Khalid: How about pastrami?

  143. 143.

    Uncle Jeffy

    February 14, 2020 at 12:28 am

    @Patricia Kayden: Typical Trump – lying out of both sides of his head.

  144. 144.

    Amir Khalid

    February 14, 2020 at 12:32 am

    @JaySinWA:

    I have had pastrami. I can take it or leave it.

  145. 145.

    JaySinWA

    February 14, 2020 at 12:34 am

    @JaySinWA: Caught by the edit timer.

    I know of turkey and beef bacon, but can’t remember trying them, of the two I would guess turkey would work better for flavor but not for fat.

    Turkey pastrami is passable though.

  146. 146.

    Sab

    February 14, 2020 at 12:35 am

    @Amir Khalid: Turkey bacon isn’t much better. I also have family history of high blood pressure, so salt isn’t very appealing. Tastes okay, but spend next two days with puffy fingers and thumping heart.

  147. 147.

    SectionH

    February 14, 2020 at 1:06 am

    @JaySinWA: Yeah, exactly. It’s true about the oil etc on the roads, but it’s kinda universal. Most people don’t drive very well. The miracle is enough people drive well enough that places like LA and Seattle (omg… ) work at all.

    Some of my Massachusetts friends pointed me to the Best audio EVER. It involves “because I’m caaaaauuuuutious.” Maybe AL or someone can help me out here. But “caaaaauuuuutious” is family speak, kinda like “California rude” is.

  148. 148.

    WaterGirl

    February 14, 2020 at 7:57 am

    @Mike J: When I saw the “sex is like pizza” part, I thought this was going to be the one I have heard before:

    Sex is like pizza.  Even the worst sex I have ever had was still pretty good.

  149. 149.

    WaterGirl

    February 14, 2020 at 8:27 am

    @CaseyL: That was so good.  The lyrics were amazingly well done.  I hope everyone watches it.

    The ending was a big surprise, with all 7 of them.

  150. 150.

    Chief Oshkosh

    February 14, 2020 at 8:35 am

    @Ocotillo:

     

    Why do Nazis own or start the big Pizza chains?

    Because the business model appeals to them: A pyramid of wage slaves slovenly managed by laze-abouts with just enough brains to get an sketchy loan to buy into the franchise, all ruled over by a grifting Nazi who himself was once one of the franchisees.

  151. 151.

    J R in WV

    February 14, 2020 at 9:34 am

    Did a pot roast last night, with carrots and onions and some garlic, and a combination of little purple potatoes and quartered big russets. And red wine and broth … red wine to drink too. Goood eatin. Will last a couple of days.

    We have a skiff of snow, but no plans to go out for now. Hope the innertubes stay up, else will have to do physical reading material. Scan photos, I’m behind on that project. Worked hard on it, burned out a little bit. So many people we don’t know but who obviously mattered a lot to grandparents… Kinda sad.

  152. 152.

    The Pale Scot

    February 14, 2020 at 9:51 am

    Jeeze, I don’t add conjunctions to a word count

  153. 153.

    RobNYNY

    February 14, 2020 at 2:02 pm

    @JaySinWA: In New York, “outcalls only” means that the sex worker comes to your home or hotel room.

  154. 154.

    RobNYNY

    February 14, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    @JaySinWA: In New York, “outcalls only” means that the sex worker comes to your home or hotel room.

     

    @Mai naem mobile: When I started traveling on business in the 1980’s, Pizza Hut was often the best restaurant in town, especially in the South. (Except for New Orleans, which has legendary food, and a few other places.)

  155. 155.

    RobNYNY

    February 14, 2020 at 2:19 pm

    @JaySinWA: My father’s second wife had one of those hotdog electrocutors. It looked sort of like an Etch-a-Sketch, with little prongs. at the sides of the screens. It must have been dangerous. She was the queen of one-function kitchen devices. She had an egg cooker, a bacon pan with a press,  and a butter melter. In any given kitchen, there must be at least four ways to melt butter (pot over low heat, microwave oven, Pyrex measuring cup next to a frying pan, holding it in your armpit), but she would have none of that.

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