Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

“Alexa, change the president.”

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Cancel the cowardly Times and Post and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

All hail the time of the bunny!

Petty moves from a petty man.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

When we show up, we win.

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91Comments

  5. 5.

    Barbara

    Truly funny.  Seriously, right, these guys have been crowing about going into tactical survival mode since, well, AT LEAST since 2009 IYKWIMAITYD.

  6. 6.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Tom Nichols sparked a lively discussion on how odd it is that the cultists consider trump– whiny, needy, flabby, lazy, draft-dodging, be-daddy-issued septuagenarian trust-fund-baby trump– to be a paragon of manliness. Just today in skimming twitter pictures of the protests, I’ve seen two different trump-as-Rambo cartoons.

    Then they tell reporters that trump has been duped by kindly old Doc Fauci and the nice lady with the scarves (aides have leaked that trump trusts Birx because she’s “elegant”)

  7. 7.

    Jerry

    North Carolina and the other hurricane alley states need to A) get their Covid 19 outbreaks under control and 2) institute a strict testing/tracing regimen because we are looking at an active hurricane season coming up in 2020.

    If points A and 2 above are not met, we’re going to be looking at a worsened situation with people from beach communities evacuating to other parts of the state and then housing folks that lose their home due to the hurricane itself or from the resultant flooding.

  8. 8.

    henrythefifth

    I also love how preppers thought their assault weapons would be necessary, and they’d get to shoot a bunch of their fellow human beings.  But the pandemic has sorely disappointed them there, too.  All they have to do is sit at home safe and there’s plenty of food and no vast, marauding horde they get to kill.  What a bummer.

  10. 10.

    logjam

    The revolution is being fueled by barbers and hairdressers. Life is very different than just two months ago.

  11. 11.

    Yutsano

    @henrythefifth:

    and they’d get to shoot a bunch of their fellow black and brownhuman beings

    Adjusted for accuracy. You didn’t think they were going to be plugging white folks did you?

  17. 17.

    Llelldorin

    To be fair, a civil society reacting calmly and sensibly to a pandemic really is an existential threat to their worldview. You can see why they like Trump so much—he’s the one leader that’s actually driving things in the Max-Maxian direction that they expected from a pandemic.

  18. 18.

    West of the Rockies

    Right-wingers are more fragile than gossamer.  I think given a choice between sex and martyrdom, there’d be a stampede to the cross.

  20. 20.

    Adam L Silverman

    I’m thinking the counter-counter revolution is not going to be particularly difficult. All we’re going to need is to seize control of the convenience stores and anywhere else with a soda machine and we’ll have the high ground.

  23. 23.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Adam L Silverman:

    “I hate having to get two iced teas in the drive thru,” he says.

    When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to buy two sweet teas at Hardy’s….

  25. 25.

    Brachiator

    Meanwhile, as has been noted, the rich are different from you and me. They have more money. From Business Insider:

    Some of the elite are asking their household staff to quarantine with them indefinitely.

    Peter Mahler, head of Mahler Private Staffing, told Katherine Clarke for The Wall Street Journal that about 40% of his clients have quarantined with their staff.

    Consider Martha Stewart, who said her driver, housekeeper, and gardener at her Bedford estate are staying at separate residences on her property during the pandemic. “We have three detainees, I call them,” she said in a video chat on Seth Meyers’ talk show. “We make a nice dinner every night. We have a cocktail. We play cards after dinner.”

    In a time when unemployment claims have reached a record high, staff are facing enticing offers to quarantine: as much as 30% raises, Mahler said. But even if staff decide not to quarantine with their bosses, many wealthy families are still paying staff, David Youdovin, owner of Hire Society in Manhattan, told Clarke.

    Also, in February, there was a news story about a spike in inquiries about private planes. And so, this tidbit, about the rich ignoring calls to avoid non-essential travel:

    However, a new report by the Sunday Times has revealed the world’s wealthiest are still flying to and from the UK on private jets during the COVID-19 lockdown, with 1,312 flights having taken place since stay at home measures were introduced.

    The government has called for people to rule out “non-essential travel”, which according to its travel guidelines includes “visits to second homes, camp sites, caravan parks or similar – whether for isolation purposes or holidays.”…

    In the case of the 1,312 flights, 545 of them were flights arriving in the UK from coronavirus hotspots such as Spain, France and the United States.

    A source told the Times, “These are some of the wealthiest people who count the UK as their home, who are fleeing to second homes since the lockdown was imposed.”…

    According to aviation consultancy WingX, the most private flights landing in the UK were from Germany (32), with France (27) and Spain (25) trailing behind. 15 had also come from the US.

    As for the 767 flights leaving the UK, the majority were headed to France and Germany (34 planes each), 30 to Spain, 23 to Russia and 10 to the UAE – a flight which is estimated to cost as much as £100,000.

  26. 26.

    Aleta

    Coffee-exporting nations could have the US  shut down and praying to them after two days without.

  27. 27.

    Seanly

    Heard a sociologist who’s studied the prepper movement talking with someone about this. The sociologist knew most of the preppers were full of shit as he said each preppers’ vision of the end times is specific to them and not about survival as much as confirming fears. So someone who has a deep-seated fear of an EMP will prep around electrical generation while a civil engineer may concentrate more on water supply. I wish I could remember the short podcast where they discussed this.
    Anyway, the sociologist contended that most preppers were caught short by this because the issue didn’t fit with the individual & narrow scenarios most of the preppers told themselves
    Of course, they didn’t discuss the very evident racist components of the prepper movement (especially where it mixes with the Posse Comitatus & 80’s survivalist movements).
    And how the media is once again lapping up this astroturf bullshit about the lockdown protests is making me sick.

  30. 30.

    Zzyzx

    First they came for the free soda refills and I did not speak out because I wasn’t all that thirsty right now…

  32. 32.

    schrodingers_cat

    WTF is going on with T and the Federal government commandeering PPEs and other medical equipment Why hasn’t any on in those stupid briefing asking the Long Red Tie these questions?

  40. 40.

    Brachiator

    Today’s reopen rally organizer Steve Hasty of Murfreesboro says what he misses most is sitting in restaurants and getting free drink refills.

    “I hate having to get two iced teas in the drive thru,” he says.

    Yeah, this stuff is trivial and easy to mock, but the hard economic decisions related to this stuff are more serious.

    Where these dopes miss the point is in their assumption that the economy will simply re-open like things were in the past. However, restaurants are trying to anticipate adjusting to a post pandemic economy. Starbucks, for example, is considering making some of their sites drive-thru only, or eliminating dine-in service at other locations, making them takeout only.

    I’ve already seen this happen at some fast food eateries in the Los Angeles area. They closed their dine-in areas completely and depend solely on drive-thru business.

    But aside from making a stray asswipe unhappy, these decisions will cut into revenues and also perhaps lead to permanent staff layoffs. And it may drive some restaurants out of business. The city of Pasadena has already released budget estimates predicting a long term slow down in business and decreased tax revenues. The mayor of Los Angeles is scheduled to release a budget outline later today.

  42. 42.

    hueyplong

    So would that one gun-toter stand down if the Hardee’s told him he could circle back for a free refill just by producing his drained gulpee cup bearing the Hardee’s logo?

    Normally I’m not in favor of negotiating with terrorists, but this one seems easy.

    Of course, his posse might have separate fast food-related demands.

  43. 43.

    Yutsano

    @cain: @West of the Rockies: To be fair, most of us queer folks have to self-identify. And we’re certainly capable of hiding when necessary.

    I feel bad I have to type that in fucking 2020. And yet, here we all are anyway.

    @Leto: I know he probably can’t conceive of it, but sweet tea is actually dastardly easy to make. And tastes much better than the drive-thru swill. You’re a southern boy, you know what I’m talking about.

  47. 47.

    J R in WV

    @Yutsano:

    @henrythefifth:

    and they’d get to shoot a bunch of their fellow black and brownhuman beings

    Adjusted for accuracy. You didn’t think they were going to be plugging white folks did you?

    They will be anxious to shoot any white folks who might be DemonRats, like most of the Jackals. So, yes, I’m sure they want to be shooting white folks!

  48. 48.

    Capri

    The main thing about preppers is that they are doing just that – “prepping.”  They are not doers or livers. Just always getting ready.

  49. 49.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @Brachiator: Garcetti’s State of the City address was not optimistic.

    You’re right, what these folk don’t understand is that even if everything opened up tomorrow just as it had before, people’s trust in going out just isn’t there.

  53. 53.

    Chyron HR

    @Brachiator:

    Yeah, this stuff is trivial and easy to mock, but the hard economic decisions related to this stuff are more serious.

    Won’t somebody please, please think of the children Confederacy economically anxious?!

  55. 55.

    Elizabelle

    Talk about living through interesting times.  Emphasis on “living.”  And “interesting” as in what can be a Chinese curse.

    Thinking Trump’s presser today is going to be lit, although I agree it’s better for the networks not to air him.  There’s always online, and that’s enough.

  56. 56.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @henrythefifth: I also love how preppers thought their assault weapons would be necessary, and they’d get to shoot a bunch of their fellow human beings.

    Remember that the “preppers” are the kids/grandkids of the good folx whut dug fallout shelters in their backyards in the 50s & early 60s. Their whole concept was “I need the arsenal to kill all you slackers who didn’t bother to build one of your own when you come to try & take mine.”

  57. 57.

    trollhattan

    The running of the morans. Suppose it was inevitable they’d find their way down I-5 and I-80.

    Gov. Gavin Newsom has issued an order banning large gatherings because of the coronavirus crisis, and Sacramento-area law enforcement officials warned last week that they will start citing people who violate the ban.

    So why would state Capitol officials approve a Monday protest against shelter-in-place orders that is advertised as attracting as many as 500 people?

    It’s not entirely clear. The Capitol’s protest permit website shows the planned demonstration is permitted for noon on the west steps of the Capitol building, which is currently fenced off as part of a renovation project.

    The California Highway Patrol’s capitol protection section, which issues such permits, referred questions Monday to the Senate Rules Committee. An official with that committee referred questions to the sergeant at arms, who said the Senate president pro tem’s office would have to answer. The pro tem’s office was looking into whether the permit was valid.

    Officials appear to be expecting a protest. Shortly after 9 a.m., two trailers that carry CHP patrol horses were parked on the east side of the Capitol, where more than half a dozen officers were gathered. Officers on bicycles were also cruising the grounds, despite the fact that the Capitol is closed to the public. Seven porta potties, two hand washing stations and a speaker system were being set up.

    The planned protest is one of many that have cropped up in recent days nationwide – some at the urging of President Trump through his Twitter feed – and one of several planned nationwide today and later in the week. Protesters elsewhere have complained about orders to stay home, arguing that such bans on movements and gatherings are illegal and pointless, despite warnings from federal health officials that such groups pose a danger because of COVID-19.

    The Sacramento rally was organized by a group of activists who last year protested a new state law that restricts medical exemptions for vaccines that are mandatory for schoolchildren.

    sacbee.com/news/california/article242129761.html#storylink=cpy

    Breathe deep, gather all the freedom you can. Jerks.

  58. 58.

    trollhattan

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    TBF those cold war backyard bunkers convert to really nice wine cellars. IDK what anybody does with a thousand out-of-date MREs. How do Mormons do it–continually eat food at the expiration date? It’s more mysterious to me than even the underwear.

  59. 59.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Since people have been blaming boomers, churchgoers, and shit, I think I’ll take this opportunity to do my venting.  Everyone who voted GOP in the past 40 years, everyone who split tickets because Bill or Barack was likely to do some crazy lefty shit if not held in check, everyone who voted for Nader, Stein, or wrote in some fantasy moderate/liberal/leftist because they were too pure-minded to vote for a person who actually got his/her hands dirty, and all of the “they’re all same” fuckwits who couldn’t be bothered to vote can kiss my ass.  Trump and the current GOP didn’t spring fully formed from Zeus’s brow.

  65. 65.

    Brachiator

    @Chyron HR:

    Won’t somebody please, please think of the children Confederacy economically anxious.

    I don’t care about these idiots at all. Sadly, a couple of these fools are being interviewed on the local CBS radio station. They have nothing remotely coherent to say.

    But I am interested in how we deal with a post pandemic world. I definitely have skin in that game. As always, your mileage may vary.

  66. 66.

    Leto

    @Yutsano: aye, I do; places that make good sweet tea: Waffle House, Popeye’s, Bojangles. They all have something in common. ;)

  69. 69.

    Leto

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: yes, but just as important is the ratio of sugar to everything else. Essentially if you can’t tell the difference between it and molasses, you’re doing it right :P

    Honestly I can’t do full on Southern sweet tea anymore. It’s sickly. I’m not a northern “sweet” tea person either (that’s just dirty water), but yeah…

  71. 71.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Leto: A fair point.  Athena could sue.

    @HinTN: A blue blazer and Topsiders are a common combo in some milieus.  Speaking of, does anyone know where Steve in the WTF is?

  80. 80.

    leeleeFL

    @Adam L Silverman: This reminds me of the post-9/11 period here on the FL Space Coast.  They shutdown 6 miles of A1A because AFTAC was at Patrick Air Force Base.  While I felt very bad for the businesses that were impacted, I got tired of the whiney-ass titty-babies bitching about the extra 45 minute ride to get to work!  Told more than one at a 7 Eleven or wherever I was when one of em would start whining:  Just because no one is destroying your house or shooting you or your family does not mean we are not at war!  SUCK IT UP and thank a Serviceman!  Very popular, I was

  82. 82.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I’ve seen two different trump-as-Rambo cartoons.

    Then they tell reporters that trump has been duped by kindly old Doc Fauci and the nice lady with the scarves (aides have leaked that trump trusts Birx because she’s “elegant”)

    This is rhetorical, how do their brains handle this contradiction? One can not be the alpha chimp and be haplessly lead around by the wedding tackle by the nearest woman at the same time.  No wonder they are angry all the time, it must be horribly painful inside their skulls.

  87. 87.

    J R in WV

    @Ksmiami:

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: No you have to make an infused simple syrup then add it to the tea along with fruit…

    That sounds like great sweet tea, but it isn’t how they do it down south, where they put the sugar into the tea while it’s really hot, because it won’t dissolve in cold water or tea.

    My wife hated iced tea until she had dinner with us at my grandma’s. My dad doesn’t like his tea very sweet, so grandma made a smaller batch without sugar. Wife loves tea, just without sugar. Lemon works, I like it with a tiny bit of sugar and a big squeeze of lemon.

    But that isn’t southern sweet tea, which is made of tea with more sugar than will dissolve in cool water.

  88. 88.

    Another Scott

    @James E Powell: Yup.

    A rich guy from New York City is all kinds of horrible, unless he says a bunch of stupid racist stuff and punches down against the same people you don’t like.

    A guy who got his degree from Harvard is an effete snob, unless he has a show on Fox and doesn’t  know how the tides work.

    Etc.

    It’s all tribalism, and anyone can claim to be part of the tribe.

    The mouth noises and actions don’t have to make sense or be consistent, but the mouth noises have to be emphatic recitations consistent with Cleek’s Law.  Then you’re golden.

    Grr…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  89. 89.

    Matt

    @John Revolta: Totally false – there’s a simple firearms-based cure that works 100% of the time to stop the patient getting or transmitting COVID-19.

    Just bring the barrel of the firearm as close as possible to where COVID-19 hides at the back of the throat and apply the trigger.

    Here’s hoping lots of GOP pols decide to demonstrate this technique, R. Budd Dwyer-style.

  90. 90.

    Alex

    @trollhattan: I hear the Mormons have a pretty good food pantry setup to rotate the emergency supplies. The Mormons I’ve known took the whole “Whatever you do for the least of these” thing a lot more seriously than evangelical Christians tend to.

  91. 91.

    SWMBO

    @J R in WV: You need an old glass pickle jar.   Wash out thoroughly.  Fill with water.  Put 3 family size tea bags or 6 small tea bags inside.  Add 1/2 cup to 1cup brown sugar.  Put lid on jar and place in sun.  Takes most of an afternoon to make it.  Take off lid, stir and serve. Throw away the tea bags.

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