• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

After roe, women are no longer free.

T R E 4 5 O N

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

People are complicated. Love is not.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Monday Afternoon Open Thread

Monday Afternoon Open Thread

by Betty Cracker|  April 18, 20223:38 pm| 199 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Republican Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

Earlier today on Twitter, “testical tanning” was a trending topic. Why? Because Tucker Carlson is projecting his personal concerns about “low T” onto the nation (or at least half of it).

THERE IS NOT "SO MUCH DATA" ON TESTICLE TANNING. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DATA ON TESTICLE TANNING.
-your friendly local board certified Urologist https://t.co/IhQb4Aqqf0

— Ashley Winter MD || Urologist (@AshleyGWinter) April 17, 2022

The good doctor’s thread thoroughly debunks this nonsense. But there’s a possibility Carlson’s audience will roast their wedding tackle under a heat lamp, thus rendering themselves unable to reproduce and providing a long-term solution to our immediate fascism problem. I thought y’all should know.

Open thread!

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Textbook case of demagoguery
Next Post: Monday Open Thread On The Road - Albatrossity - Springtime in Arizona - Week 4»

Reader Interactions

199Comments

  1. 1.

    Alison Rose ???

    April 18, 2022 at 3:40 pm

    But how can he tan something he doesn’t even have

  2. 2.

    bluegirlfromwyo

    April 18, 2022 at 3:41 pm

    Carlson’s audience will roast their wedding tackle under a heat lamp, thus rendering themselves unable to reproduce and providing a long-term solution to our immediate fascism problem.

    Could FSM possibly love us that much?

  3. 3.

    Emma from Miami

    April 18, 2022 at 3:42 pm

    I have a vision of Tucker sitting in an ice bath to cool his “fever”  *snickersnort

  4. 4.

    Elie

    April 18, 2022 at 3:43 pm

    Honestly — its like these folks got infected with the stupid virus…  Could anyone take this seriously??

  5. 5.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 3:45 pm

    OTOH, I hate tan lines.

  6. 6.

    MagdaInBlack

    April 18, 2022 at 3:46 pm

    It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the phrase “wedding tackle” used. You made me spit my tea, Betty. Thank you !

  7. 7.

    NotMax

    April 18, 2022 at 3:47 pm

    Wackity Sacks.

    //

  8. 8.

    Martin

    April 18, 2022 at 3:49 pm

    Culture war keeps getting weirder.

  9. 9.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 3:50 pm

    After months of discouraging people from getting any COVID vaccines, while simultaneously refusing to answer if he himself was vaccinated, Tucker Carlson has finally given an answer. He says he is not vaccinated, and continues to refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19.

    In December, Fox’s policy was changed, and all employees who worked in its New York City headquarters offices were required receive at least one coronavirus vaccination shot by Dec. 27.

    Fox News did not immediately respond to TheWrap’s request for comment.

    Does tucker broadcast remotely from his own mountain lair or is he an in-studio guy?  I don’t watch him so I don’t know.

  10. 10.

    Geminid

    April 18, 2022 at 3:50 pm

    “You broke my will. But what thrill.

    Goodness, gracious, Great Balls of Fire!”

  11. 11.

    trollhattan

    April 18, 2022 at 3:51 pm

    Welcome, assholes. And please enjoy our seven-buck/gallon diesel, you useless work-avoiding bags of goo. BTW I’ve phoned Antifa on the 1-800 line, and they should be reaching out presently.

    A group referred to as the “People’s Convoy” arrived in Sacramento on Monday morning, circling downtown streets and blaring horns in trucks and other vehicles. It’s the first of an apparent three-day stint of events planned at California’s state Capitol in protest of coronavirus restrictions. The first event, with a permit granted to the “Unified Americans Convoy of California” from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday on the north side of the Capitol, is permitted for 200 attendees, California Highway Patrol permit records show. The second permit, given to “The Peoples Convoy California” for a demonstration on the west side of the Capitol, is scheduled from 1:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. for 300 attendees.

    Videos on social media and livestreams from attendees, though, showed that members of the convoy had spilled over from the north side and began to crash an unrelated, permitted event scheduled for the west side at 11 a.m. The event by the Prosecutors Alliance of California intended to give resources to crime survivors, according to its permit.

    https://www.sacbee.com/news/coronavirus/article260523052.html#storylink=cpy

    Is there anything more last-year than the trucker protest?

  12. 12.

    MomSense

    April 18, 2022 at 3:53 pm

    @Baud:

    @NotMax:

    HAHAHAHA!!

  13. 13.

    Joe Falco

    April 18, 2022 at 3:53 pm

    The phrase “tanned, rested and ready” will never be the same for presidential campaigns.

  14. 14.

    MattF

    April 18, 2022 at 3:55 pm

    So, the lil’Tucker (pun intended) is poking into an area of concern. Medically. Well, he’s getting into the age group where the condition of one’s prostate is a possible cause of anxiety. Needs some Flo-Max, I’d guess.

  15. 15.

    CaseyL

    April 18, 2022 at 3:55 pm

    It’s truly weird performances like this that make me wonder if there is anything at all animating Carlson other than a desperate, unquenchable need for attention.

  16. 16.

    jl

    April 18, 2022 at 3:55 pm

    Wait… the linked twitter tweets say that men have something called a tunica VAGINAlis? Proof of rampant feminization of our menfolk right there. These libs can’t hide the awful truth.

  17. 17.

    Scout211

    April 18, 2022 at 3:56 pm

    @trollhattan:

    It’s the first of an apparent three-day stint of events planned at California’s state Capitol in protest of coronavirus restrictions.

     

    What California coronavirus restrictions? Masks for healthcare workers and facilities? That’s the only one that I see right now.

    But let’s not confuse them and their performance with facts.

  18. 18.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 3:56 pm

    But there’s a possibility Carlson’s audience will roast their wedding tackle under a heat lamp, thus rendering themselves unable to reproduce and providing a long-term solution to our immediate fascism problem.

    Naturally selecting themselves out of reproductive condition is not the worst thing.

  19. 19.

    The Moar You Know

    April 18, 2022 at 3:56 pm

    He says he is not vaccinated, and continues to refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19.

    @germy: I would bet the farm on this:  he is lying.

  20. 20.

    MomSense

    April 18, 2022 at 3:56 pm

    I learned a couple weeks ago that Fucker has a place in Maine.  He apparently constructed a large barn which he has been using for his own tv studio.  The person who told me thinks he was spending most of his time here and not at the FUX studios.

  21. 21.

    jl

    April 18, 2022 at 3:57 pm

    Anyway, I’ll wait for the demo coming soon on the Rogan show, before I believe it.

  22. 22.

    justawriter

    April 18, 2022 at 3:57 pm

    @Geminid: “Something’s Burning,

    something’s burning

    I think it’s love”

  23. 23.

    MomSense

    April 18, 2022 at 3:57 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    See my comment above.  It’s possible he isn’t lying, but he also isn’t saying that he’s been isolated at his large estate in Maine.

  24. 24.

    Roger Moore

    April 18, 2022 at 3:58 pm

    @germy: ​
     
    I wouldn’t trust as word Carlson says, including “a” and “the”.

  25. 25.

    Yutsano

    April 18, 2022 at 3:58 pm

    This is not the worst part. The worst part is he has supposedly spawned. His “children” are going to need so much therapy…

  26. 26.

    delk

    April 18, 2022 at 3:59 pm

    It’s Tucker’s ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card. He can push any conspiracy theories and bigoted lies and if he gets called on it (or sued) he will say nobody should take him seriously. Would a serious news journalist have a segment on testes tanning?

  27. 27.

    JCJ

    April 18, 2022 at 3:59 pm

    I imagine the men who will put there balls under a sunlamp are likely the same that would take hydroxychloroquine (despite not having an autoimmune disorder) or ivermectin.

  28. 28.

    jl

    April 18, 2022 at 4:00 pm

    @Scout211: How big does a trucker convoy have to be in order to be noticed in Sacramento traffic?

  29. 29.

    scav

    April 18, 2022 at 4:00 pm

    It’s certainly a new and somewhat unexpected twist to marketing oneself to one’s adoring fans: “Hey Guys!  We’re all insufficiently manly! Let’s have a spa day!”

  30. 30.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    April 18, 2022 at 4:01 pm

    You all do understand most of Tucker’s audience is older guys and  guys in the middle of a midlife crises are notorious for doing stupid shit and falling for obvious scams. God knows I went threw that with my own dad when he bought a sports truck and I had to saved him from some scammer cleaning my dad’s savings out by pretending to be my dad and just trolling that slimy huckster until the grifter got so pissed he stomped off in a huff.

  31. 31.

    MattF

    April 18, 2022 at 4:01 pm

    @JCJ: Not to mention the colloidal silver fans. Blue balls indeed.

  32. 32.

    hueyplong

    April 18, 2022 at 4:02 pm

    This story almost seems too good to be true.

    It’s like when the “tell them to drink bleach” thing actually came true.

    Surely Tucker can think of some magical home usage for mercury next.

  33. 33.

    jl

    April 18, 2022 at 4:03 pm

    @scav: IIRC, hot balls reduce sperm count. That’s the reason infections that produce fevers temporarily reduce fertility, and IIRC is not a special feature of covid.

    And of course, there is the no true Scotsman (would not wear a kilt) angle.

    Edit: Oh crap, I forgot that the kilt is a dress!! Difficult choices, hard decisions!

    Edit2: OTOH, true Scotsman can tan their balls at will, so there is that. I’ll watch the Tucker Balls show after all. Probably full of one weird tricks and secret tips like that.

  34. 34.

    Old School

    April 18, 2022 at 4:04 pm

    Who would have guessed this was possible?

    Beanstalk cryptocurrency loses $182m of reserves in flash ‘attack’

    Raider gains voting rights over digital currency and uses them to transfer contents of treasury

    The Beanstalk cryptocurrency has been stripped of reserves valued at more than $180m (£138m) in seconds, after an attacker used borrowed money to snap up enough voting rights to transfer the money away.
     

  35. 35.

    Kent

    April 18, 2022 at 4:06 pm

    “Great balls of fire!”

    Let’s see if we can get them to soak their balls in rubbing alcohol (or bourbon)  and set them on fire.  That would be even better.

  36. 36.

    Gravenstone

    April 18, 2022 at 4:06 pm

    Dare we tell Tuckems that it takes UV light, not red/infrared to cause tanning? Of course, that’d be a mighty sensitive area to inadvertently sunburn…

  37. 37.

    Mike in NC

    April 18, 2022 at 4:07 pm

    I have no doubt that Carlson likes to display his testicles to female staffers at FOX “News”. He’s going down the same path that got his predecesor Bill O fired for sexual harassment.

  38. 38.

    Roger Moore

    April 18, 2022 at 4:07 pm

    @Old School:

    I keep saying to anyone who will listen that cryptocurrency is an attempt to recreate the financial system without any regulation.  Since most of that regulation is there to control scams, you can imagine what the result looks like.

  39. 39.

    fancycwabs

    April 18, 2022 at 4:07 pm

    I have yet to find a light source for irradiating my balls that’s brighter than they light they emit themselves.

  40. 40.

    Tony Jay

    April 18, 2022 at 4:07 pm

    Ah yes, the New Conservative Man’s centrally-approved group activity. Tuckering the sin out of each others leathery golfbags three times a week while the womenfolk give quiet thanks for the conjugal hiatus brought on by too frequent ‘red-capping’.

    Silly bastards

  41. 41.

    Spanky

    April 18, 2022 at 4:08 pm

    Tanning is a response to UV light, not IR. So basically, absolutely everything remotely scientific about this shit show is wrong.

  42. 42.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 4:09 pm

    One favorite response to Tucker’s “bromeopathy” video is (paraphrasing), “I’m sitting next to my gay husband, leading my gay kife, reading a gay novel as research for my gay novel, and Tucker Carlson’s video is more gay than anything I’m doing.”  The video is more homoerotic than most gay porn.  It’s revealing of Tucker’s inner fantasy of naked young muscly men without any women getting in their fantasy.  This is why they want gays to be invisible.  We burst their life in their toxic masculinity world.

  43. 43.

    JPL

    April 18, 2022 at 4:10 pm

    @Kent: Maybe a curling iron would provide the adequate amount of heat.

  44. 44.

    Redshift

    April 18, 2022 at 4:11 pm

    @Elie:

    Honestly — its like these folks got infected with the stupid virus…  Could anyone take this seriously??

    In the days of conservative mailing lists (snail mail) back in the 70s, they discovered that people who signed up for those lists were a gold mine for commercial marketing, and hence conservative “leaders” could make a bundle selling the lists. They’ve been selecting for gullibility in the decades since.

    So yeah, the people who watch Fox or OAN or listen to InfoWars absolutely believe this stuff, because the kind of people who would believe this stuff are who they’ve sought out for their audience. (That they’re also gullible enough to swallow all the non-commercial obvious BS is just a bonus.)

  45. 45.

    JPL

    April 18, 2022 at 4:12 pm

    @MomSense: Months ago, there was an article written about his studio in Maine.

    I found this, but am blocked from reading.   Since it’s a Bangor paper, maybe you have access.

    link

  46. 46.

    Redshift

    April 18, 2022 at 4:12 pm

    @JPL: Or maybe an iron iron…

  47. 47.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 4:14 pm

    @Dan B: “Bromeopathy” is brilliant. Ranks with “Chakra Con” (Maryanne Williamson) on Twitter.

  48. 48.

    Old Man Shadow

    April 18, 2022 at 4:14 pm

    @CaseyL: 

    Self-hating homophobia would be my guess.

  49. 49.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 4:15 pm

    @jl: Prepare to have your inner homo revealed by Tucker’s sweaty fantasy.

    There should be a followip questionnaire:

    On a scale of one to six how much did your testosterone level increase after watching this?

  50. 50.

    JPL

    April 18, 2022 at 4:16 pm

    @Redshift: Perfect.

  51. 51.

    MomSense

    April 18, 2022 at 4:18 pm

    @JPL: 
    I think the studio in Bryant Pond fell through. That was an old grange hall or something near his vacation house. This is something I hadn’t heard about. He apparently has a big property/compound in a completely different place with a large house and new barn.

  52. 52.

    Scout211

    April 18, 2022 at 4:19 pm

    Interesting take on why Carlson’s “unvaccinated” status does not violate Fox’s COVID policy.

     

    [Brian] Stelter is not the first guy you would expect to defend Carlson, but it’s a cut-and-dry case. If it is true that Carlson is not vaccinated, he is not violating any policy. Fox News’ headquarters are located in New York City where employees are required to have a vaccination against Covid to work in-office. This would put the company in compliance with New York City’s mandates for inoculations. Previously to this, the company offered a test-out option for those wishing to avoid the vaccine, which at the time was in compliance with New York City law.

    Tucker Carlson, however, is not based in New York and has regularly been hosting his show remotely. He frequently broadcasts from a custom-built studio near his home in Maine.

    This would not put him in violation of any known company policy. Carlson ditched Washington D.C. for the slower pace of Maine after a group of Antifa activists showed up at his D.C. home in 2018, vandalizing it and harassing his family.

  53. 53.

    scav

    April 18, 2022 at 4:19 pm

    Imagine all the manly manly bedrock patriots anxiously sending each other dick pics late at night desperate for reassurance that they’re tanned enough.  The covert glimpses and comparisons in public urinals. Oh! I hope they’re wearing bibs as they glug their bleach so if they dribble they don!t lose more virile coloration.

  54. 54.

    Redshift

    April 18, 2022 at 4:19 pm

    @trollhattan: It’sa “People’s Convoy” in the same way that North Korea is a “People’s Republic”…

  55. 55.

    Cameron

    April 18, 2022 at 4:23 pm

    Tucker is no longer a nationalist, he’s gone glo-bal. OK, that sucked, I know.

  56. 56.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 4:23 pm

    @CaseyL: Possibly unquenchable desire for sweaty mano a mano with manly men?

    Desire for attention, but from who?

  57. 57.

    JPL

    April 18, 2022 at 4:24 pm

    @MomSense: I did search the NYTimes for the article that I saw, and it wasn’t there.   What I remember is that he and family stayed in Maine during the pandemic.   He did broadcast from home

    you could be neighbors.

  58. 58.

    Betty Cracker

    April 18, 2022 at 4:26 pm

    Speaking of sociopaths, Madison Cawthorn fired a staffer who has since filed a wrongful firing  complaint on FMLA grounds and is now spilling all kinds of tea. Story at Smoky Mountain News:

    Saying in a leaked recording that “we all want the ultimate goal of him never serving again,” Lisa Wiggins, a former caseworker and campaign aide to Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-Henderson) has filed an employment-related campaign against the embattled congressman.

    “What he’s done to me was illegal, morally wrong, you name it, it’s been done,” Wiggins said in a phone call to David Wheeler, co-founder of nonpartisan advocacy PAC American Muckrakers, more commonly known as Fire Madison Cawthorn…

    Wiggins went on to make a number of other claims against her former employer, including more liquor bottles in the Hendersonville office than water bottles, and that she hadn’t seen the congressman she worked for since October…

    “As far as the candidate himself, I mean, he’s just a bad person. He’s a habitual liar and he’s going to say and do anything he can to your face but behind your back he’s completely opposite,” she said. “There’s some good stories I have – a lot of good stories.”

    Do tell, Ms. Wiggins!

  59. 59.

    Citizen Alan

    April 18, 2022 at 4:29 pm

    @Yutsano:  Isn’t one of them named “Buckley”? The poor child.

  60. 60.

    oldster

    April 18, 2022 at 4:29 pm

    Worst. Recipe. Ever.

    for Rocky Mountain Oysters.

  61. 61.

    Citizen Alan

    April 18, 2022 at 4:32 pm

    @Old School:  The thing that pisses me off the most about  Crypto currency is that when it finally inevitably collapses, every goddamned libertarian in the country will demand a government bail out.

  62. 62.

    Old School

    April 18, 2022 at 4:34 pm

    @JPL:

    I did search the NYTimes for the article that I saw, and it wasn’t there.

    Maybe because Tucker threatened the reporter.

    Fox News host Tucker Carlson lashed out on air at Belfast freelance reporter Murray Carpenter Monday, July 20, according to an Associated Press story published Tuesday in The New York Times, claiming that Carpenter was working on a piece for The Times in which the address of Carlson’s Maine home in Bryant Pond would be published. The story was to be about Carlson’s plans to spend more time at his Maine home, where he is reportedly building a broadcast studio.

    On his show Monday night, he broadcast the names of Carpenter and photographer Tristan Spinski, along with a photo of Carpenter, and threatened to publish their addresses and pictures of their homes. Some of his estimated 4 million viewers responded by publishing what they said were addresses for the two journalists, as well as a phone number for Carpenter and a photo of Spinski’s home, The AP said.

  63. 63.

    Hoodie

    April 18, 2022 at 4:36 pm

    @jl: Not many opportunities for tanning much of anything in Scotland . . .  This thing reeks of white male panic about powerlessness, otherwise known as empowering people other than white males.  This thing is so ridiculous it’s pretty clear that Carlson is just punking these dopes and laughing all the way to the bank.  Pure cynicism.

  64. 64.

    Calouste

    April 18, 2022 at 4:40 pm

    @Dan B: Reminds me of Dan Savage commenting about some Republican (maybe Rick Santorum): “He talks more about gay sex than I do, and I’m a gay sex therapist!”

  65. 65.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 18, 2022 at 4:40 pm

    @Redshift:

    …or a waffle iron….

  66. 66.

    bluegirlfromwyo

    April 18, 2022 at 4:46 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: …for that masculine tartan

  67. 67.

    Kay

    April 18, 2022 at 4:46 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

     I mean, he’s just a bad person

    Low quality hires. Madison Cawthorne will be considered a conservative statesman compared to the next crop. The standards just get lower and lower.

  68. 68.

    Scout211

    April 18, 2022 at 4:46 pm

    @Old School:

    I did a news search as well. The local reporting started with 2019 articles  about Carlson building a broadcast studio near his house, then articles in 2020 about Carlson being furious that the fact that he was building a studio was leaked, then more articles in 2020 about his decision to “scrap” his plans to build a studio (which in fact, was a lie because he did build the studio).  Then in 2021, his studio was ready to broadcast his show, announcing only that he had a “new set.”

    The article I posted at 52 uses his broadcast studio in Maine as the reason that Carlson is not violating Fox’s vaccination policy. He is based in Maine, not New York.

    Of course Antifa made him move to Maine.
    // ?

  69. 69.

    Brachiator

    April 18, 2022 at 4:46 pm

    THERE IS NOT “SO MUCH DATA” ON TESTICLE TANNING.

    THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DATA ON TESTICLE TANNING.

    It is beyond strange to see right wing pundits and reporters go to increasingly dangerous and self-harming extremes as they try to cling desperately to insane ideological positions.

    Also, Tucker Carlson is not showing much testicular fortitude. The Democrats drove him…nuts.

  70. 70.

    Ruckus ??

    April 18, 2022 at 4:50 pm

    @Scout211:

    They likey started raising money for this over a year ago and it’s taken them this long to get the money to fuel the 6 pickups and get the permits. And damnit they are going through with it, reality be damned. I mean come on, when has reality ever been within a thousand miles of their wheelhouse?

  71. 71.

    Kay

    April 18, 2022 at 4:52 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    The Fire Madison Cawthorn PAC endorsed another Cawthorn challenger, Republican Wendy Nevarez, and has encouraged Democrats to re-register as unaffiliated in advance of the April 22 deadline to vote against Cawthorn in the Republican Primary Election.“The ultimate goal of course is to get him out,” Wiggins said. “I’m working harder here than I did for his campaign two years ago, and I mean, I worked really hard two years ago.”

    Screw that. So the people they all call pedophiles are supposed to help them elect a slightly less disgusting far Right Republican so they don’t have to live with this embarrasing evidence of their shitty judgment?

    We’re all just in service to the Republican Party. It is unimagineable to her that a Democratic voter might have a different goal.

    I’d vote to keep him. He’s amusing and he doesn’t do any work anyway. He’s a plus.

  72. 72.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 4:53 pm

    @Hoodie:

    This thing reeks of white male panic about powerlessness, otherwise known as empowering people other than white males. 

    Y’all know that I read Dreher’s batshit crazy blog to keep an eye on the crazy. (I may have to stop because the crazy is fucking terrifying, BTW.) But there have been a few interesting comments on the blog in the last couple of weeks. One commenter noted that drug use has stolen the dignity of the white working class and made them ashamed. Multiple commenters have pointed out that it’s the “elites” on the left who went to college who are kicking the asses of social conservatives at getting/staying married and having kids. On a different thread, someone noted that the left “doesn’t preach what they practice”. All in all, the sense I get is just abject terror. They’re so threatened by women, racial minorities, LGBTIQ+ because they are seeing that it’s not just that non-college-educated white men won’t have power in government, not just that they won’t make much money. It’s that they literally will not be able to take a leadership role in a family, they won’t ever have (legitimate) children to pass down a faith tradition, and they’ll probably get into drugs. And they see gay people making families and they’re jealous.

  73. 73.

    Jeffro

    April 18, 2022 at 4:57 pm

    “REPUBLICAN QUACK SCIENCE IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH”…probably too long for a bumper sticker, but maybe could be part of a t-shirt?

    DRINK BLEACH

    BRING UV LIGHT “INSIDE THE BODY”

    GUZZLE HORSE DEWORMER

    SKIP THE MASKS AND VACCINES

    TAN YOUR BALLS

    -GQP, 2022

  74. 74.

    Jeffro

    April 18, 2022 at 5:01 pm

    @Brachiator:Tucker Carlson is not showing much testicular fortitude. The Democrats drove him…nuts.

    double OUCH

  75. 75.

    CaseyL

    April 18, 2022 at 5:07 pm

    @Old Man Shadow:

    @Dan B:

    Not sure about ol’ Tuck himself, but I strongly suspect “closeted and self-hating” describes a large percentage of his fan base.

  76. 76.

    Dangerman

    April 18, 2022 at 5:09 pm

    Just nuts roasting on an open fire…

  77. 77.

    wetzel

    April 18, 2022 at 5:14 pm

    Supposedly this End of Men montage is actually real.

    What doesn’t kill you makes your dong hurt.

    I love how they had a guy drinking raw eggs like Rocky. Drinking raw eggs gives you biotin (B7) deficiency. There is a protein in egg white, avidin, where avidin:biotin Kd dissociation constant is one of lowest measured, so at very low concentrations the avidin will saturate with biotin, and you don’t absorb any biotin and you get the vitamin deficiency.  That guy will experience thinning hair with progression to loss of all hair on the body; scaly, red rash around body openings, etc. Heck yeah!!! Tango and Cash!!!!

  78. 78.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 18, 2022 at 5:15 pm

    @Dangerman:

    Just nuts roasting on an open fire…

    Some guy ripping off your clothes…

  79. 79.

    Ken

    April 18, 2022 at 5:18 pm

    @Jeffro: DRINK BLEACH

    It’s got elecrolytes.

  80. 80.

    rikyrah

    April 18, 2022 at 5:21 pm

    @germy:

     

    I don’t believe him.
    Periodt.

  81. 81.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 5:23 pm

    @CaseyL: I am sure that a lot of the crazy right wing is closeted and self-hating gay, but I also think we underestimate how many of them are fucken jealous of gay men.

    I think a lot of straight white dudes (mostly Christian, mostly without college education) saw a specific life for themselves as a birthright. That life included being a patriarch and being able to afford stuff like new pickup trucks and to have your pretty, loving, and worshipful wife stay home with the kids, and she would think you were handsome even if you gained weight and didn’t take care of yourself (because self-care is what gay men and aging women do). And people would look up to you with gratitude as a provider because you were The Man.

    And instead, all the women that you want are practicing assortative mating and they make their own money and probably make more than you and they are not into you. And the beauty ideal has shifted and everyone laughed at the idea of Blake Shelton being considered sexy (but you kinda look like Blake Shelton). And you can’t afford that pickup truck and actually lots of people don’t think it’s cool anyway.

  82. 82.

    VeniceRiley

    April 18, 2022 at 5:30 pm

    @Ken:  It’s what plants crave!

  83. 83.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 5:32 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    @Dangerman:

    Just nuts roasting on an open fire…

    Some guy ripping off your clothes…

     

    MAGA men being fooled by a liar…

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 18, 2022 at 5:34 pm

    @jl:

    Vagina is simply the Latin word for “sheath.”

  85. 85.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 5:35 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Is penis Latin for sword?

  86. 86.

    Spanky

    April 18, 2022 at 5:36 pm

    @Suzanne: I think I speak for many on this blog, present and past.

    Fuck’em.

  87. 87.

    SpaceUnit

    April 18, 2022 at 5:38 pm

    This is clearly some kind of collective, flailing cry for help.

    Carl Jung just puked in his grave.

  88. 88.

    Gin & Tonic

    April 18, 2022 at 5:40 pm

    @Baud: If Mel Torme were alive he would reach down your throat and rip out your heart with his bare hands.

  89. 89.

    japa21

    April 18, 2022 at 5:43 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: And there’s not a jury in the world that would find him guilty.

  90. 90.

    Matt McIrvin

    April 18, 2022 at 5:45 pm

    @Suzanne: It was just a few years ago that I remember conservatives gloating that they would inherit the Earth because liberals weren’t having babies (often they imagined that liberals were getting abortions all the time for kicks). Now… I suppose they imagine sinister conspiracies ruining it.

  91. 91.

    scav

    April 18, 2022 at 5:45 pm

    @Baud: While chugging bleach down through their nose. . .

  92. 92.

    RaflW

    April 18, 2022 at 5:47 pm

    Goddamit. Some asshole Federal judge in FL just voided the mask mandate on planes. This country is run (or, at least part-run) by insane people. Fuck.

  93. 93.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 5:49 pm

    @RaflW:

    She  also believes paper money is unconstitutional.

     

    Mizelle takes an extreme approach to her originalist legal philosophy. In remarks to the Federalist Society, she discussed how she prepared for her clerkship with Justice Thomas, explaining, “by night I studied the original meaning of the constitution, like whether paper money is constitutional. It is not.”

  94. 94.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 18, 2022 at 5:52 pm

    @Baud:

    Is penis Latin for sword?

    No. The penis mightier than the sword.

  95. 95.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 5:52 pm

    @Spanky: Oh, I agree. I don’t feel badly for them, really. I commented on a thread a few days ago about how I had read part of Michael Sandel’s book “The Tyranny of Merit”. And it’s a really interesting book and it has a lot of insight to offer to the current moment. But ultimately what conclusion I came to is that much of the white working class is really resentful that college-educated people, and women, and minorities, and gay people, etc…. are just doing better in life than they are, and they won’t be satisfied until they are doing better in life. And by “doing better”, I mean making more money.

    Sandel talks a lot about building a society of mutual and equal respect for one another, which I think we would all nodnodnod to. But it’s simply not going to happen that we’re all going to be economically on the same footing or that white men with less education are ever again going to make more bank than a woman with a degree. So where does that leave us? With a resentful cohort of whiny incel assholes. And ergo, I also come to the same FUCKEM conclusion.

  96. 96.

    Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)

    April 18, 2022 at 5:52 pm

    @bluegirlfromwyo:  Has the NYT asked people in Ohio diners how they feel about Tucker’s movie yet

    @Suzanne:  I have heard that plumbers and electricians are raking in the cash.

  97. 97.

    zhena gogolia

    April 18, 2022 at 5:54 pm

    @Baud: This is great!

  98. 98.

    West of the Rockies

    April 18, 2022 at 5:55 pm

    Hey, wingnuts, inject your junk with horse dewormer–it makes you super-duper manly!

  99. 99.

    Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)

    April 18, 2022 at 5:56 pm

    @Baud: OK, I laughed our load or (LOLed if you are under xx years old.)

  100. 100.

    RaflW

    April 18, 2022 at 5:57 pm

    @Suzanne: This has been my central thesis about what has so totally warped Rod Dreher. He knows other people are enjoying sex, but he’s so bad at it that while he and his wife have managed to procreate, he knows he doesn’t satisfy his wife, and is probably so tormented by some unexamined fundy guilt (and, possibly, a hair trigger) that he doesn’t find sex to be a pleasure either.

    Ergo: No one should have sexy fun time. Especially two guys together (why that in particular is such a problem, I don’t want to even speculate. He should stay in his own terrible cishet misery club of one and not say another word in print. Eww.)

  101. 101.

    Formerly disgruntled in Oregon

    April 18, 2022 at 5:58 pm

    @germy: FSM save us!

  102. 102.

    Anyway

    April 18, 2022 at 5:58 pm

    @Suzanne:

    But college degree is not a guarantor of anything. We hear about getting saddled with debt at a young age before beginning a career; degree-inflation means you don’t make much money starting out; young people live in parents basements etc etc.

    Young people don’t have it easy – what are these MAGAts so jealous of?

  103. 103.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 5:59 pm

    “Bromeopathic.” ?

  104. 104.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 5:59 pm

    @Matt McIrvin: I dated an airman for a short time before I met Mr. Suzanne. I went to a couple of functions at the AFB with him. I remember him speaking with great disdain about the “dependents”, aka some of his colleagues’ wives. Another friend of mine whose husband is in the Army talked to me about this, too, how a lot of the “military wives” are women who don’t have much education and don’t really have careers. And I guess it’s a big social divide and having a wife with an education and maybe a career is a big status symbol for some of these dudes. (Of course, having an independent career when your husband keeps getting sent all over the place is very difficult.)

    Anyway, the social conservatives still don’t think enough white babies are being born. But they are pissed AF that liberals are kicking their asses at it.

  105. 105.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 6:01 pm

    @debbie:

    O Bromeo, Bromeo, wherefore art thou Bromeo? 

  106. 106.

    trollhattan

    April 18, 2022 at 6:02 pm

    @germy:

    She’s also about nineteen and a Federalist (duh) and clerked for Clarence Thomas. Yay, Trump.

  107. 107.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 6:03 pm

    @CaseyL: I agree that Tuck may just be pandering to his base but it’s fascinating that he idolizes the hyper masculine rather than the Hemsworth, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Evans hunks who are so at ease with being thoughtful, funny, and empathetic.  Instead he goes for the Tom of Finland and gay Leather Daddy stereotype of masculinity.  They’re all going for hyper-dominant visions of manhood that are violent and often self destructive.  He seems to know he is not, and ne er has, or will be, an alpha male outside of his whining on TV.  In a crowd of hypermasculine men he would immediately be the butt of the joke.  He seems afraid of being teased as a wuss.

  108. 108.

    RaflW

    April 18, 2022 at 6:03 pm

    @germy: Oh my g-d, her lack of qualifications is stunning. Do businesses realize that by humping for Republicans, they’re helping install such utter legal morons that it’s a crapshoot how they might rule on cases they’re involved in?

    I’m sure the assumption is that, hey they’re conservative, it’s okay. But as Republicans start to threaten political retribution for biz’s that don’t toe the GOP line, these wildly reckless courts might just find whatever thinly disguised rationales they need to screw companies over. Brave new world we’re hurtling towards!

  109. 109.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 6:04 pm

    @Anyway:

    But college degree is not a guarantor of anything. 

    Well, even with shit-tons of debt, it’s still generally a better financial decision than not (for most people). That’s not to say that going to college will ensure that you make lots of money, by no means. But still there is a significant gap in earning potential over a lifetime between college grads and non-college-grads.

    It’s also a status thing, and I think this is the most important part. Increasingly, college grads marry one another and concentrate their wealth. That used to not be the case. Even things like health and life expectancy and weight appear to correlate with having a degree.

  110. 110.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:05 pm

    @Geminid:

    Letting you know the latest about JD Vance. Some people are unamused by Trump’s endorsement:

    Republican U.S. Senate candidate J.D. Vance got the announcement that most of his rivals had been seeking — an endorsement from former President Donald Trump. But some conservatives say they won’t vote for Vance and are now threatening they won’t back Trump either.

    The We the People Convention, a Tea Party group based in Portage County, had endorsed U.S. Senate candidate Mike Gibbons.

    Tom Zawistowski, the group’s president, said it appears Trump is listening to the same establishment advisors who staffed his administration with “RINOS” (Republicans In Name Only). Zawistowski said those same staffers undermined Trump’s presidency.

    Zawistowski noted nearly all of the Ohio Republican Party county chairmen signed a letter to Trump, asking him to not endorse Vance, a venture capitalist and the author of Hillbilly Elegy.

    The U.S. Senate candidate was once considered a “Never Trumper” and had said during the 2016 election that he “might have to hold his nose and vote for Hillary Clinton” instead of Trump. Zawistowski said Gibbons, an investment banker, is a true conservative.

    “Conservatives in Ohio do not accept this endorsement and will not vote for Vance,” Zawistowski said.

    Zawistowski says everyone he’s talked to in the past few days echoes that sentiment. He said Trump’s endorsement of Vance flies in the face of Ohioans who elected Trump.

    “Mr. President, you claim you won Ohio twice but let me be clear. You didn’t win Ohio. We the people worked our a—s off and elected you twice,” Zawistowski said.

    …

    Zawistowski said members of his group plan to voice their opposition at Trump’s planned rally in Delaware County Saturday.

    “President Trump needs us. We don’t need President Trump. We need conservative leadership and there are other voices out there that can provide that leadership,” Zawistowski says.

    Zawistowski suggested his group might instead back Florida Governor Ron DeSantis if he decided to take on Trump in a Republican primary for president in 2024

    (obviously, my bold)

  111. 111.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 6:08 pm

    @Baud: Greek!

    Doncha know?

     

    Penis = ticket to Greek warrior lovers club.

  112. 112.

    Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)

    April 18, 2022 at 6:09 pm

    @debbie: Yep, Drupf auditioned for the magats and won their endorsement, not the other way around. They wil absolutely turn on him if he strays from the magat line.

  113. 113.

    Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)

    April 18, 2022 at 6:10 pm

    @germy:  I want a like Button us for this!

  114. 114.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:10 pm

    Some of the replies might amuse the more juvenile among us.

    If you opened a testicle tanning salon, what would you name it?
    — Edwin (@edwinmundt) April 17, 2022

  115. 115.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:11 pm

    @Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!):

    The rally may be more interesting than I thought it would be.

  116. 116.

    Brachiator

    April 18, 2022 at 6:11 pm

    @Ken:

    RE: DRINK BLEACH

    It’s got elecrolytes.

    Tucker Carlson’s balls got electric lights.

  117. 117.

    Cameron

    April 18, 2022 at 6:13 pm

    @RaflW: Sorry, I’m going to keep mine on when I take the bus.  I’ll probably be the only one, but whatever.

  118. 118.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 6:15 pm

    @trollhattan:

    She called thomas the “greatest living american”

  119. 119.

    Ksmiami

    April 18, 2022 at 6:15 pm

    @bluegirlfromwyo: I say let them all injure themselves- I mean a Trump judge just announced that the CDC has no authority to limit the spread of disease… these people are beyond hope. Truly, may they all die painful long out deaths; our society will be much better off in the long run.

  120. 120.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:16 pm

    Google’s increased resolution over Russian military bases is already yielding hilarity.

    Just how much of the Russian Air Force is styrofoam? pic.twitter.com/E26MNKu28R
    — Expat in Kyiv (@expatua) April 18, 2022

  121. 121.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 6:18 pm

    @germy:

    I can’t believe she ignored my existence like that.

  122. 122.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 6:19 pm

    @Ksmiami: Every time I think we’re reached Peak Stupid Shit, I’m proven totally fucken wrong. I mean, injecting bleach, eating horse paste and shitting oneself in the grocery store…. and that still wasn’t the pinnacle.

    Whatever. If this is what it means to be a coastal liberal elitist, I’m all in.

  123. 123.

    Origuy

    April 18, 2022 at 6:19 pm

    I’m wondering how this mask order will affect international flights. Foreign countries might say, “no mask, no land.” Judge Kimball may not care if Americans cannot fly out of the country, but airlines and their business customers may have other ideas. She should be put on the no-fly list herself.

  124. 124.

    Brachiator

    April 18, 2022 at 6:21 pm

    @debbie:

    If you opened a testicle tanning salon, what would you name it?

    Tucker Carlson’s Great Balls of Fire?

  125. 125.

    Ksmiami

    April 18, 2022 at 6:22 pm

    @Suzanne: I just hope they do us a favor and go to Jesus so we can move forward and yes I include the inferior court 6

  126. 126.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 6:23 pm

    @Origuy:

    Airlines still can do what they want, and they will follow international requirements.

  127. 127.

    Steve in the ATL

    April 18, 2022 at 6:24 pm

    I am in Panama City, Florida on business and OMG the humanity   I can’t even describe it.  I will need my memory erased after this

  128. 128.

    Mai Naem mobile

    April 18, 2022 at 6:24 pm

    I wonder if this has anything to do with the studies of men who have had COVID being more likely to have se×ual problems – there was the study of urologists finding the COVID virus in male genitalia months after having COVID. Also not being able to get it on as one could say.

  129. 129.

    wetzel

    April 18, 2022 at 6:24 pm

    A penis in time saves nine.

     

    Too many penises spoil the broth.

     

    A penis saved is a penis earned.

  130. 130.

    KenK

    April 18, 2022 at 6:24 pm

    Oh, this is such bullshit. I’ve been undergoing weekly UVB treatment for 11 years, and no signs of improved T-levels. All I have is a scorched scrotum to show for it…

  131. 131.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 6:27 pm

    @Baud:

    I have shirts older than her.

    https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2022/04/the-takeover-of-the-federal-judiciary-by-radical-reactionaries

  132. 132.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 6:27 pm

    @wetzel:

    Tuck Everlasting

  133. 133.

    Geminid

    April 18, 2022 at 6:27 pm

    @debbie: Interesting. This Saturday’s rally at the Delaware County Fairgrounds could be quite a show. I hope Vance gets booed.

    Trump already got Pennsylvania Republicans riled up over his endorsement of Dr. Oz, and the dynamic is similar to the one described in the story you excerpted. People want to blame Trump’s advisors for that one, but this Vance endorsement smells like a commercial transaction.

    And I don’t think any endorsement can get Ohioans to like J.D. Vance. The rest of the field isn’t much, but Vance and Mandel are two of the creepiest and most repulsive politicians around.

  134. 134.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:29 pm

    @germy: Ha! Perfect!

  135. 135.

    wetzel

    April 18, 2022 at 6:29 pm

    @germy:

    When I was three I had no sense

    I stuck my dick in an electric fence!!!!!

    I moved a little over and it burned my balls

    It made me mess my overalls!!!!!

  136. 136.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 6:30 pm

    @RaflW:

    This has been my central thesis about what has so totally warped Rod Dreher. He knows other people are enjoying sex, but he’s so bad at it that while he and his wife have managed to procreate, he knows he doesn’t satisfy his wife, and is probably so tormented by some unexamined fundy guilt (and, possibly, a hair trigger) that he doesn’t find sex to be a pleasure either. 

    I also think that most of the crazy people of this type are secretly terrified that there isn’t a God. They really, really want there to be a God because they’re putting themselves through a lot of suffering and deprivation and weird guilt shit. And if there isn’t a God, then the joke is on them for inflicting that shit on themselves. They know that many of us laugh at them (because they’re stupid assholes shining lights on their balls) and the only thing that makes that bearable is the hope of a heavenly reward, or what non-Christians might call karma.

    Dreher is also one of those people who would be into Dungeons and Dragons if he wasn’t religious. There’s a type that needs that arcana, that convoluted rule structure. Things to memorize. Details and minute distinctions that they really want to matter.

    Nothing is pleasurable for these people, certainly not sex, but really not anything.

  137. 137.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:30 pm

    @Dan B: It def has a “Triumph Of The Swill On Steroids” vibe.

  138. 138.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 18, 2022 at 6:31 pm

    @debbie: Gibbons is the most conventional R in the primary, no? And didn’t he recently endorse the Kinsleyan Gaffe that is Rick Scott’s economic platform?

    COLUMBUS — Mike Gibbons, a leading Republican Senate candidate from Ohio, said at a media event last fall that middle-class Americans don’t pay “any kind of a fair share” of income taxes.
    “The top 20% of earners in the United States pay 82% of federal income tax — and, if you do the math, and 45% to 50% don’t pay any income tax, you can see the middle class is not really paying any kind of a fair share, depending on how you want to define it,” Gibbons said.

  139. 139.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 18, 2022 at 6:33 pm

    Geeze.  I never studied urology, but a female nurse friend informed me that she liked her men in briefs, not boxers, because it lowered fertility by scrunching up the scrotum and raising the heat of the testicles.  These dickweeds are just going fucking insane with this.  What is it like to walk around with sunburned balls, I wonder?  I’m not going to find out for myself, that’s for sure…

  140. 140.

    Ken

    April 18, 2022 at 6:33 pm

    @wetzel: And let us not forget the club.

  141. 141.

    cain

    April 18, 2022 at 6:33 pm

     But there’s a possibility Carlson’s audience will roast their wedding tackle under a heat lamp, thus rendering themselves unable to reproduce and providing a long-term solution to our immediate fascism problem.

    Hope springs eternal. :-)

    They’ll still manage to blame Democrats and sue Nancy SMASH in some way. While Tucker’s balls stays clean and untanned.

  142. 142.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:34 pm

    @debbie: Is DeWine still planning not to go do you know? I was a little suspicious about his latest positive CoVid test LOL.

    Do you mind sharing whom you are supporting in the primary (Whaley vs. Cranley)?

  143. 143.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:35 pm

    @Brachiator: That could come in handy the next time Greg Abbot effs with the power in Texas.

  144. 144.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 6:36 pm

    I think I found out where Tucker has been broadcasting from:

    elites are hiding a mystery state here. what is that? what could this be? the people demand answers now!! pic.twitter.com/IH6M7zthaX

    — sweetie-coded (@Bohemian_Grover) April 17, 2022

  145. 145.

    Geminid

    April 18, 2022 at 6:38 pm

    @debbie: I have this fantasy where Vance gets 18% on May 3rd, Timken gets 19%, Gibbons 20%, Mandel 21%, and Matt Dolan wins with 22%. This will never happen, and that’s probably a good thing for Tim Ryan.

  146. 146.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:40 pm

    @germy: Tuck’s Tanfastic Testes

  147. 147.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:41 pm

    @germy: Sounds like a remedy for ED that Tucker would tout.

  148. 148.

    germy

    April 18, 2022 at 6:41 pm

    @Kathleen:

    whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on.

  149. 149.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:42 pm

    @Geminid: And that’s saying something considering Ohio’s Rethugs are an especially pernicious and toxic brand of vampires and ghouls.

  150. 150.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 6:45 pm

    @Mai Naem mobile: The MSM has not reported on shrinkage of the peen and wedding gift bag (or whatever Betty C called it).

    They have dropped the ball on this story!

  151. 151.

    Suzanne

    April 18, 2022 at 6:45 pm

    Does anyone else see Vizzini as the platonic “ideal” of all Republicans?

  152. 152.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:45 pm

    @germy: Bwa ha ha.

  153. 153.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 6:45 pm

    I wonder if heat lamps would burn off  excess nutsack hair.

  154. 154.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:45 pm

    @Dan B: Well considering they’ve all lost theirs…

  155. 155.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:46 pm

    @Kathleen:

    Fran’s come down with COVID now. Like those two can’t spend one second apart!  ?

    DeWine was being very noncommittal about the rally. He has some sort of prior commitment and can’t promise he’ll be there. ??‍♀️

  156. 156.

    Geminid

    April 18, 2022 at 6:46 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: State Senator Matt Dolan would be the conventional Republican in the race by the standards of ten years ago. Now he has the moderate conservative lane to himself and still seems to be running last.

    That Ohio party has gone off the deep end. Trump won the state by 8 points twice, and Republicans seem to think Ohio is now Arkansas.

  157. 157.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:48 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Pshaw, voodoo math!

  158. 158.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 6:49 pm

    @debbie: Did it have something to do with the anniversary of Grant’s birth, or was that just a Twitter  meme, or is that an old guy’s version of “I need to stay home and wash my hair”?

  159. 159.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 6:50 pm

    @Dan B: Wedding tackle

  160. 160.

    wetzel

    April 18, 2022 at 6:51 pm

    Tuck’s Everlasting Penis Tanning Bed

     

    Tucker’s brown frankfurter

    Had flattened out to a hamburger

    He needed to tan it further

    So he built an ionic converter

    Into which to place his member

    A resonating chamber

    As brown as brown September

    In which to place his member

    The swirling radiation

    Was so damn satiating

    That now it’s brown like bacon

    And the skin has started flaking

  161. 161.

    Steeplejack

    April 18, 2022 at 6:52 pm

    I’ve been chuckling about “bromeopathic therapy” all day. I hear it in a Keanu Reeves stoner voice.

  162. 162.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:52 pm

    @Geminid:

    I still don’t believe there will be a May 3 primary or even two separate primaries. The GOP has lost its grip on reality. Everyone’s trying to out-brinkmanship everybody else.

  163. 163.

    debbie

    April 18, 2022 at 6:56 pm

    @Kathleen:

    I think you might be right. I was only half-listening.

  164. 164.

    Geminid

    April 18, 2022 at 6:58 pm

    @debbie: I bet the TV and radio stations want to see a postponement. They’re making a lot of money on this primary. Their viewers and listeners probably wish it was over already.

  165. 165.

    Brachiator

    April 18, 2022 at 6:58 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Mike Gibbons, a leading Republican Senate candidate from Ohio, said at a media event last fall that middle-class Americans don’t pay “any kind of a fair share” of income taxes.

    Interesting to see a Republican arguing out loud in favor of the rich.

  166. 166.

    Kathleen

    April 18, 2022 at 7:00 pm

    Dana Milbank just published a column about Tucker. The comments are hysterical.

  167. 167.

    Another Scott

    April 18, 2022 at 7:01 pm

    Today @runforsomething is announcing Clerk Work, our $80 million 3-year plan to save democracy from the ground up by recruiting & supporting 5,000+ candidates for local offices in charge of election administration. @ec_schneider has the details: https://t.co/EdUxEpWVdp

    — Amanda Litman (@amandalitman) April 18, 2022

    Wow.

    Good, good. Every seat matters, every time.

    (via LOLGOP)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  168. 168.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 7:03 pm

    @Another Scott:

    ?

  169. 169.

    Geminid

    April 18, 2022 at 7:03 pm

    @Brachiator: I read that Gibbons said this last fall on some Crain’s Business podcast. He probably thought he was speaking to a niche audience. But there’s no such thing now when you’re running for office.

  170. 170.

    Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony

    April 18, 2022 at 7:03 pm

    @Suzanne:

    But ultimately what conclusion I came to is that much of the white working class is really resentful that college-educated people, and women, and minorities, and gay people, etc…. are just doing better in life than they are, and they won’t be satisfied until they are doing better in life. And by “doing better”, I mean making more money.

    I agree completely. Plus, they think we make all this money without doing ‘real’ work. As in, work that requires physical strength. The thing is that if they go into the trades, they start out making a lot more. Too many of them, though, are not responsible with that money. Without a consistent saving and a sound investment strategy, they will be in for a world of hurt later when their bodies wear out. Meanwhile, the college educated marry later, are more likely to invest for retirement, etc. They start out poor and do well later, right when the white working class are seeing their economic prospects shrink.

  171. 171.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 18, 2022 at 7:04 pm

    @Another Scott:

    our $80 million 3-year plan to save democracy from the ground up

    good to see somebody focusing on ground-up rather than the top-down solutions that have too often become the default in recent years

  172. 172.

    Baud

    April 18, 2022 at 7:06 pm

    Via Hillary’s Twitter.

    With Legislative Overrides, Paid Leave and Abortion Access Bills Become Law in Maryland

  173. 173.

    Ken

    April 18, 2022 at 7:07 pm

    @debbie: I still don’t believe there will be a May 3 primary or even two separate primaries. The GOP has lost its grip on reality.

    What are they going to have instead? Pistols at dawn? A steel cage death match? A replay of that scene in “The Dark Knight” where the Joker tells three thugs “I’ve only got one opening in my crew” and tosses a broken pool cue between them? A comparison of scrotal melanin content?

  174. 174.

    Suburban Mom

    April 18, 2022 at 7:08 pm

    Okay, since this is an open thread and the prior one is old, I’m delurking to point  out that state-level public school text requirements have a history as a source of shady dealing.  When a large system changes textbook requirements there are new deals to be cut, and money to be made.  I wouldn’t be one tiny bit surprised if the latest decision about Florida math texts turned out to be a way to suck up to Fox News and reward a few friendly producers of classroom materials.  Someone in Florida should keep an eye on who gets the contracts to supply the “acceptable” texts.

  175. 175.

    KrackenJack

    April 18, 2022 at 7:09 pm

    @Gravenstone: Clearly they need full spectrum for maximum benefit: microwave to x-rays at least.

  176. 176.

    prostratedragon

    April 18, 2022 at 7:11 pm

    @scav:  Thank you, the suspense was killing me.

  177. 177.

    Kay

    April 18, 2022 at 7:15 pm

    @Suburban Mom:

    Thanks. The Indiana “ban CRT” bill went down because they were afraid of not qualifying for AP courses.

    The wrath of the AP parents – sent those Republicans scurrying away :)

  178. 178.

    Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)

    April 18, 2022 at 7:18 pm

    @Another Scott: I hope this isn’t a decade too late. Like I’m afraid the Environmental Voter Project is.

  179. 179.

    Danielx

    April 18, 2022 at 7:18 pm

    The jokes, they write themselves…

    Although I will bet that right now somebody somewhere is filing a patent application for a Tucker-endorsed tanning light.

  180. 180.

    Another Scott

    April 18, 2022 at 7:20 pm

    @Origuy:

    Might have missed it, but I don’t see a citation to a single case that’s ever used this method of statutory interpretation before. https://t.co/VuHrglkiDb

    — southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) April 18, 2022

    I’m shocked, shocked.

    Grr…,
    Scott.

  181. 181.

    Danielx

    April 18, 2022 at 7:22 pm

    @Ken:

    A biting-off-live-bat-heads competition, per Ozzy, followed by all the R candidates being thrown into a pit of rabid wolverines. First to emerge alive wins.

  182. 182.

    RepubAnon

    April 18, 2022 at 7:23 pm

    @Roger Moore:  Precisely!  I can have my pay electronically deposited into my bank account, and pay for things electronically with a credit card.  I pay fees for this, and get the protection of rules such as being able to dispute inaccurate charges.  (Debit cards don’t have this protection – which is why I use credit cards.)

    The only advantage I see to cryptocurrencies other than the speculation bubbles is that it’s easier for my money to be stolen.

  183. 183.

    RepubAnon

    April 18, 2022 at 7:24 pm

    @Brachiator: Brokeback Mountain Oyster Bar?

  184. 184.

    Quantumman

    April 18, 2022 at 7:30 pm

    ….bro nuts roasting on an open fire… (sung to a familiar Christmas song).

  185. 185.

    Suburban Mom

    April 18, 2022 at 7:38 pm

    @Kay: I’ve met those parents and they are scary.  Don’t ever get between the kid they consider to be Ivy or near Ivy bound and the last available seat in AP Physics.

  186. 186.

    laura

    April 18, 2022 at 7:43 pm

    @Dan B: my wag is that he’s a deeply closeted homosexual who’s sexual awakening in the Bay Area came at a time when Tom of Finland was errrrwhere- the actual ToF art material, the leather daddies in the Castro, the BAR, the whole scene and it’s both his imprint and deepest source of shame and uh oh feelings in the no no spot. His public facing persona is such an unfuckable square from the land of William F Buckley and his barely contained hysteria on the “rare occasions” that he turns to the subject of manliness just makes one wonder about his choices, his motivation and why, at the dimming of the day, he is such vile filth. If I’m off track, please steer me straight, constructive criticism is my jam!

  187. 187.

    TonyG

    April 18, 2022 at 7:44 pm

    There’s really nothing more MANLY than obediently doing whatever some dweeb on teevee tells you to do.  Obey your teevee!

  188. 188.

    TonyG

    April 18, 2022 at 7:45 pm

    @laura: If Tucker is not gay, I need to get my gaydar adjusted.

  189. 189.

    Spanky

    April 18, 2022 at 7:48 pm

    @Baud: Exactly! Bookmark this as another example of Hogan’s “moderate” cred being the result of the MD legislature, and absolutely not his governing philosophy.

  190. 190.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 18, 2022 at 7:55 pm

    @laura: I would be very much unsurprised if we someday learn you are right.

    Tucker once claimed to have been groped in a DC park mens room, and then said he and a friend went back and beat the guy up. I saw this in real time, and it was pretty obvious he was making the whole thing up as he went along, and the vigilanteism he thought made him sound tough and macho was a fantasy

  191. 191.

    Ruckus ??

    April 18, 2022 at 8:12 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Well they only know one direction and that’s always the most stupid, because it doesn’t help anyone. Even the rich assholes who are stealing everything not tied down and some that is.

  192. 192.

    Bupalos

    April 18, 2022 at 8:19 pm

    @Suzanne: Hate to be the bearer of this news, but fascism isn’t actually genetically determined. And it flourishes best in societies that do this Us/Them thing.

  193. 193.

    bluegirlfromwyo

    April 18, 2022 at 8:22 pm

    @Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony: In other words, I was supposed to plan poorly to avoid hurting white working class male feelings. Screw that. They can suck on their personal responsibility.

  194. 194.

    Dan B

    April 18, 2022 at 8:22 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: His story begs several questions.

    Why would anyone grope him?  It would be like squeezing Wonder Bread. (Apologies to Wonder Bread.)

    Does he believe his ‘manly allure’ would make the gehz swoon?

    Would he ever go into a public restroom?  He seems like the fussy type who would hold it until he got to a first class hotel.

    Would he go to a public park?  Private clubs at private golf courses seem his modality.

    Everything screams prissy wimp.  (Emphasis on ‘screams’.)

  195. 195.

    Bupalos

    April 18, 2022 at 8:46 pm

    @Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!): yes agreed, this is true.   I don’t really know about this whole taxonomy of the right wing male.

    Its culture folks. The wingers who can stay off drugs out in exurbia make decent money and pair up with traditionalist women just fine. Frankly some tech school kid that goes right into a trade might be (strictly and myopically speaking) be  making a better financial choice than a lot of college kids.

    There are other reason why these are less likely to he happy marriages or happy people.

  196. 196.

    Bupalos

    April 18, 2022 at 9:01 pm

    @Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!): i’m not sure there is any “line.” More like just a demand to reflect their anger and bitterness. As long as Trump calls people names, refuses to respect anything decent, and generally affirms and projects the idea that all of morality is a scam and that nothing is true… well he’s golden. For a broad majority if his “supporters” that’s what matters. And there is basically zero chance he could ever stop doing any of thoae things because those aren’t thimgs he’s faking, that’s who he is.

  197. 197.

    TonyG

    April 18, 2022 at 9:32 pm

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques: Young men are pretty damn stupid too.  Maybe it’s all downhill after age 10.

  198. 198.

    Mai Naem mobile

    April 18, 2022 at 9:37 pm

    @Suburban Mom: i wonder if Rupert Murdoch is involved in text book publishing. I only know he’s involved in regulat book publishing. I remember from years ago that Texas was a big influence in school text books chosen. I’ve never understood why California wasn’t mentioned since its a larger state. I am guessing Florida has a big influence now as well with their increase in population.

  199. 199.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 18, 2022 at 9:42 pm

    @germy: ​
     Show your work, bimbo.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Political Action

Postcard Writing Information

Recent Comments

  • Matt McIrvin on Sunday Evening Open Thread: If It Wasn’t So Catastrophic, Watching the GOP Shutdown Kabuki Would Be Mildly Entertaining (Sep 25, 2023 @ 6:42am)
  • lowtechcyclist on Sunday Evening Open Thread: If It Wasn’t So Catastrophic, Watching the GOP Shutdown Kabuki Would Be Mildly Entertaining (Sep 25, 2023 @ 6:36am)
  • Soprano2 on Greetings From the Homestead (Sep 25, 2023 @ 6:35am)
  • raven on Greetings From the Homestead (Sep 25, 2023 @ 6:30am)
  • Chris T. on Medium Cool – Ads! Ads? (Sep 25, 2023 @ 6:29am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
What Has Biden Done for You Lately?

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Talk of Meetups – Meetup Planning

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Cole & Friends Learn Español

Introductory Post
Cole & Friends Learn Español

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!