Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Ah, the different things are different argument.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

Republicans don’t trust women.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Republicans in disarray!

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Commentary / Asshole / Late Night Open Thread: Making A Name

Late Night Open Thread: Making A Name

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A vocabulary revival for our modern media:

Also, deserved credit to DougJ:

Reader Interactions

102Comments

  1. 1.

    Amir Khalid

    I remember them picking on Obama for saying “I” a lot. It revealed his narcissism, they said.

  3. 3.

    topclimber

    Thankfully this guy  provides his own jokes. With a straight face yet, he delivers pure punditiocy.

  5. 5.

    El Cruzado

    Glenn Greenwald is going to keep carrying water for fascists all the way to the reeducation camp.

  6. 6.

    Montanareddog

    @El Cruzado: The Ernst Röhm of Roy Cohns, without the charm, he is despised by all of the Left and the Right, but for a few Stans, and they tend to be more Cleek’s Law trolls than genuine fans. I fear it will not end well for him.

  8. 8.

    Tony Jay

    Also, too, here’s a piece from the FTF Guardian that I fully support, though the paragraphs lambasting the Labour Right and the newspaper it’s printed in are noticeable by their absence.

  9. 9.

    Ruckus

    @eddie blake:

    It is their kryptonite. They have code words they don’t understand, that they repeat over and over and try and sound like they know jack or shit. Problem is they don’t know jack shit, they have no substance.

    It is their kryptonite.

  10. 10.

    Amir Khalid

    In other news, the birthday present I ordered for myself has arrived. Should I unbox it today, or wait until the 17th?

  13. 13.

    Ruckus

    @Tony Jay:

    I like this quote from the article.

    “the sinking ship fleeing the rat”

    They don’t seem to be concerned that not all that long ago they patted him (figuratively of course) on the back for his many talents. I like that they are deserting him only after he’s proven beyond any concept of acceptability that he’s moldy cheese that’s been out in the sun for about a month too long.

  14. 14.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Amir Khalid:

    In other news, the birthday present I ordered for myself has arrived. Should I unbox it today, or wait until the 17th?

    Wait. You don’t want to ruin the surprise.

  15. 15.

    NotMax

    ‘@Tony Jay

    Wonder if it’s a product of institutional memory of a past roc-sized egg on the face occurrence (emphasis mine).

    At the conclusion of the debate the government’s law officers and Chief Whip met, and decided that Profumo should assert his innocence in a personal statement to the House. Such statements are, by long-standing tradition, made on the particular honour of the member and are accepted by the House without question. In the early hours of 22 March Profumo and his lawyers met with ministers and together agreed an appropriate wording. Later that morning Profumo made his statement to a crowded House. He acknowledged friendships with Keeler and Ward, the former of whom, he said, he had last seen in December 1961. He had met “a Mr Ivanov” twice, also in 1961. He stated: “There was no impropriety whatsoever in my acquaintanceship with Miss Keeler”, and added: “I shall not hesitate to issue writs for libel and slander if scandalous allegations are made or repeated outside the House.” That afternoon, Profumo was photographed at Sandown Park Racecourse in the company of the Queen Mother.

    While officially the matter was considered closed, many individual MPs had doubts, although none openly expressed disbelief at this stage. Wigg later said that he left the House that morning “with black rage in my heart because I knew what the facts were. I knew the truth.” Most newspapers were editorially non-committal; only The Guardian, under the headline “Mr Profumo clears the air”, stated openly that the statement should be taken at its face value.… Source

  16. 16.

    Cameron

    So the President said “not a joke” a few times? Maybe he wasn’t joking. Who cares?

  17. 17.

    Tony Jay

    @Ruckus:

    I know. This is like 90% of the Gotham City Underworld suddenly re-evaluating their choices realising that they abhor the criminal life, nothing at all to do with the fact that Batman is punching them repeatedly in the face.

    Fucks sake, two of the greasy no-marks he appointed to senior ministerial posts just yesterday have resigned. It’s not the hokey-cokey you fuckers.

  18. 18.

    Tony Jay

    @NotMax:

    Oh, not likely. I’m pretty sure that the only institutional memory remaining within the walls of the FTF Guardian centres on how to get back to the office when blind drunk after a ‘working lunch’ at some high-end Mayfair eatery with their favourite ‘senior Labour Party sources’.

  19. 19.

    NotMax

    ‘@NotMax

    For those who may not be fully conversant with the history, the upshot was that in short order Profumo stepped aside (absent very limited and specific circumstances quitting a seat in the Commons is an illegal act, so there are a couple of phonus bolonus “official” positions to which a member may be “appointed” and thus vacate the seat) and the government of Prime Minister Macmillan was forced to resign.

  20. 20.

    Tony Jay

    Oh, hang on. The BBC’s resident Tory mouthpiece Chris Mason is reporting that Flobalob has agreed to resign as long as he can stay on until the Party Conference.

    I guess someone agreed to pay for a helicopter full of unmarked bills and copies of Razzle to pick him up off the roof.

    Good riddance. Now the depths can truly be plumbed.

  23. 23.

    David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch

    I wouldn’t mind this idiocy if they also did it to republicans, but they don’t – its always a double standard against Dems.

  24. 24.

    David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch

     

     

    @Amir Khalid: The invisible hand has spoken (ie UK currency plummets to 35 year low).

    Things were so bad they were going to dig up Mountbatten to engineer another coup.

  25. 25.

    David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch

    I’ve been watching BBC and in the last half hour they’ve had two Tori ass holes on to say the biggest issue facing England is “cancel culture”.

    Looks like Murdochs have taken over their entire apparatus

  28. 28.

    piratedan

    idly wonders how many times Viser reported said same observations on Trumps verbal idiosyncrasies regarding perfect calls, rigged elections and wall building….

    I mean you got a platform, you’re a reporter, what was more significant, the points that Biden was making about policy in protecting union retirement plans or the verbal tick that Biden uses to control his stutter?  not a joke…..

  30. 30.

    Brachiator

    @Tony Jay:

    Oh, hang on. The BBC’s resident Tory mouthpiece Chris Mason is reporting that Flobalob has agreed to resign as long as he can stay on until the Party Conference.

    Theresa May must be laughing her ass off. “They dumped me for that loser?”

    Dominic Cummings must also feel sad. All that material he assembled to make BoJo look bad is irrelevant.

    So, who has the best shot at becoming the next Conservative leader? I figure that Dominic Raab and Liz Truss will put themselves forward, but they are idiots.

    I can’t see Rishi Sunak being chosen, not even if he promises to work harder than Priti Patel to keep people who look like him from becoming immigrants.

    Prince of Darkness Michael Gove? Might he be an acceptable compromise candidate?

    Anyway. A crazy end to a crazy week.

  33. 33.

    Tony Jay

    @Brachiator:

    It’s going to be a proper, pissed-up, yob-off outside a 3am Essex nightclub. There’ll be wide-eyed bald guys wielding broken bottles as weapons and screaming blonde hags gouging at eyeballs. The Police may turn up at some point but they’ll just hang back watching to see who emerges naked but triumphant from the scrum.

    The drama! Bleaugh.

  34. 34.

    raven

    We had a huge boom @ 11pm and the power went out. I heard beeping all night but not the chainsaws! I got up in the dark, stumbled to the kitchen, found my phone and turned it on. It was exactly 5am and just when I turned it on the power came back on!  A huge tree fell and took down a pole and it all blew!!

  38. 38.

    Brachiator

    @prostratedragon:

    He is out as Tory leader. He will remain as caretaker PM until autumn. Unless he changes his mind and throws everything into chaos.

    Which is not impossible.

  39. 39.

    TS

    @Tony Jay:

    So he’s resigning as leader of the conservative party but not as PM?? This morning’s press seems to think he will just have to leave No10 – no-one likes the idea of him staying

    …. All those renovations at No 10 and someone else will live there

  40. 40.

    TS

    @Brachiator:

    Which is not impossible.

    He will have trouble forming a government. Few in the party want to be part of his team. Likely he will be out well before Autumn.

  41. 41.

    raven

    Johnson should be forced out now because letting him stay until autumn risky


    Two ex-ministers have told the Guardian they think it not possible for Johnson to stay till the autumn.
    One said: “He needs to be gone by tonight, Raab should take over.” Another said: “He needs to hand in the seals of office today and go. So we can have a caretaker PM.”
    Another highly senior Tory source who has been with Johnson over the past 48 hours said his behaviour meant it was dangerous for the country for him to stay. The source said:

    His behaviour in the last 48 hrs and been reckless and erratic. He cannot be trusted to lead the country until the autumn. God knows what he will do.

    One former government adviser said it was “dangerous” for Johnson to stay in post. Another ex-minister called him “a disgrace”.

  42. 42.

    David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch

    AP reporter on MSNBC says repubs fear Dump announcing a WH run will drag them down at the ballot box and they’re begging him to hold off.

    Rooting for injuries

  45. 45.

    Brachiator

    @David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch:

    Wont be Rishi, his wife was claiming foreign residence to avoid paying taxes.

    I think she did something to amend her residency status.

    This won’t matter much. Apart from the toxic nativism infecting the UK, some people don’t like him because he is too wealthy. He and his wife are number 222 on the list of richest Britons, with a fortune of 730 million pounds. This makes Sunak the richest Chancellor in the history of the country.

    ETA. In the House of Commons, MPs are asking lots of questions about what Johnson is going to do, but he is not there yet to even pretend to provide answers.

  46. 46.

    Geminid

    @raven: Israel now has a caretaker Prime Minister. Yair Lapid of the Yesh Atid party took over from PM Bennett of the Yamina party last week after the government succeeded in dissolving itself in a Knesset vote. Lapid will head the government until elections in late October. He’ll remain PM for a while after, until someone puts together a governing coalition.

    These will be the fifth Israeli elections since 2019, so caretaker governments are fairly normal for that nation these days.

  47. 47.

    TS

    @Brachiator:

    Media are packed outside the door of No 10, waiting to hear him come out and say he is going to continue to be PM until October.

    As just noted on the BBC – if the conservatives do not force him to resign as PM, Labour (UK spelling) will force a vote of no confidence in the government in the house – reality – a government without cabinet secretaries/ministers cannot hold the confidence of the house.

    This is what the republicans should be doing to trump – but none of them seem capable of doing what needs to be done.

  48. 48.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Amir Khalid: Yes, and the Language Log bunch kept dropping statistical evidence that it was not even true–Obama did not say “I” unusually often compared to other Presidents of any party–and this made no difference.

  51. 51.

    Geminid

    @TS: Parties in the UK have much more control over their politicians than parties here. British parties decide who can appear on the party’s ballot line, while here that is up to voters in primaries for the most part.

    Republicans desparately want to retake the House and Senate, and they really have their hopes up about the House. The last thing they need is for trump to launch his presidential campaign. But they have no leverage over him. Rather, he has the power, in this case the negative power of an ability to sandbag the party’s candidates. He would, too. Trump has no loyalty to the GOP as an institution except insofar as it furthers his own interests.

  52. 52.

    Baud

    @Geminid:

    Parties in the UK have much more control over their politicians than parties here.

     
    I wish people here would recognize that.

  53. 53.

    kalakal

     

    @raven: It’s going to be complete chaos. There’s no way he gets to stay on. to be PM you need to ‘command the confidence of the majority of the house of commons’ which he transparently does not.  The Tories are going to descend into civil war for a few weeks. Then the annointed one will arise with the msm singing their praise. Big question is can they avoid a general election

  54. 54.

    piratedan

    @David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch: was watching Ms. Ruehl last night and she was talking to her guests bemoning why Joe Biden and Democrats have such trouble touting their accomplishments… after finishing my spit-take I offered the suggestion to the TV that perhaps it was because pundits like her don;t bother talking about them and instead wax emphatically about what issues are problematic about dems, aka their messaging.

    I know that we have a LOT of stupid people out there with the attention span of gnats while they’re busy just trying to live their lives, but if all of the GOP propaganda outlets can faithfully be in lockstep each day with the framing du jour, at least the other networks could actually mention what the Dems have actually done a few times a week. Especially so, when their networks are so busy giving the GOP the slots on the Sunday shows.

  55. 55.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Tony Jay: ​
     

    It’s not the hokey-cokey you fuckers.

    That sounds like an interesting variation on an old dance.

    You do the Hokey-Cokey and you snort another line, that’s what it’s all about!

  59. 59.

    David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch

    Polysci prof on BBC explains Boris was able to con voters on Brexit by promising it would lead to more domestic programs (which didn’t occur) and now the Tories now want to eliminate programs to …. (checks notes) … to fund a tax cut.

    Oh.

  61. 61.

    Brachiator

    @TS: 

    As just noted on the BBC – if the conservatives do not force him to resign as PM, Labour (UK spelling) will force a vote of no confidence in the government in the house – reality – a government without cabinet secretaries/ministers cannot hold the confidence of the house.

    I don’t think this is quite right. From the BBC.

    Mr Johnson intends to continue as prime minister until the autumn.

    That means he would stay in office until the Conservatives choose a new leader, as his predecessors Theresa May and David Cameron did when they resigned.

    In theory, if he were to go immediately , the Queen could appoint an acting leader, probably a member of the Cabinet, to take over until a new leader is found.

    That would be a very unusual situation.

    Very unusual since almost all the Cabinet has resigned.

    It’s a mess.

  62. 62.

    Aussie Sheila

    @Geminid: The best thing going for democracy and the Democrats is for tRump’s ego to overwhelm would normally be prudential rethuglican management. I trust the many mischief makers around to push him into doing just what he wants while drowning the thugs and creeps that enabled him. I really hope that his narcissistic personality comes around to sink his party this time. For FS, how much more can normal people take of this A hole and his enablers?

  65. 65.

    lowtechcyclist

    @David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch: ​
     

    I wouldn’t mind this idiocy if they also did it to republicans, but they don’t – its always a double standard against Dems.

    I would be pissed off by it even then. The notion that our politics is about meaningless trivialities works against the party that’s trying to actually accomplish meaningful shit, which of course is the Democratic Party.

    I’ve long thought that if I ran a newspaper, I’d devote the second page to a summary of the major issues of the day, what they really mean, and where each party stands on them.

    Page two wouldn’t change much from day to day, but it would always be there as a reminder of why our politics really mattered, even when more ephemeral issues occupied the front page, and about the huge substantive gulf between the two parties.

  66. 66.

    Roger Moore

    @TS:

    So he’s resigning as leader of the conservative party but not as PM??

    This just means the chaos is still ongoing.  He’s just flailing around trying to hang on for a little while longer.  It seems hard to believe he won’t be forced out somehow or other.

  67. 67.

    TS

    @Geminid:

    Parties in the UK have much more control over their politicians than parties here.

    Living in Australia I understand that – I just have trouble believing that Liz Chaney (& one other perhaps) is the only republican willing to speak truth about trump. He has ruined the party & at some stage they are going to have to repent in the wilderness before rebuilding – if not democracy in the US looks doubtful.

  68. 68.

    TS

    @Brachiator:

    I don’t think this is quite right. From the BBC.

    The labour leader was just on the BBC stating there would be a vote of no confidence in the house if Johnson doesn’t resign. There are probably enough Tories wanting to get rid of him for such a vote to succeed. The Conservatives against Johnson, would prefer, however to settle it within the party, not the parliament.

    But I agree – it is a mess. Johnson about to speak at No 10

  69. 69.

    David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch

    Oh Gaad – he just said cutting taxes leads to greater government revenue

  71. 71.

    Geminid

    @Baud: No, that parties’ control over politicians in the U.S. is subordinated to that of voters. That may seem messier but it’s better I think.

  78. 78.

    Liminal Owl

    Good morning, all.

    Thin Black Duke update: He is still inpatient, but we are hoping he will come home today.  Although I was unable to post yesterday, I am SO grateful for all the supportive comments and inquiries.

    Here’s the background, briefly: We have had a lot going on (which is one of the reasons he hasn’t been writing: too busy packing, because we have to move at the end of the month—another huge stress).  Tuesday as I was making lunch, I heard a scream from another room, and ran in to find the Duke lying down and having what I was able to identify as a grand mal seizure. He could not respond to anything verbally; I called 911, and an ambulance took him to the hospital where he has been undergoing various tests and evaluations.

    The docs don’t think he had a heart attack or a stroke. No conclusive answers yet, not really even any inconclusive answers, as to what it was.

    @Immanentize: Once he’s home, I’m sure a visit would be welcome.  Ask WaterGirl for my contact info if you want.

    Thanks again to everybody.

  79. 79.

    kalakal

    @David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch:

    Looks like Murdochs have taken over their entire apparatus

    Many years ago. Keep your eyes on Michael Gove, he may be a pustule, he may be a moron, he may have a coke habit, but he’s Uncle Rupe’s moronic, coked up little pustule

  81. 81.

    SFAW

    @Liminal Owl: ​
     
    Thanks so much for that update. I’m glad he’ll be home soon, although the docs being not yet able to identify the problem is worrisome. I’ll be keeping him (and you) in my thoughts.

  82. 82.

    HinTN

    @Liminal Owl: Having missed all this, please accept best wishes for speedy diagnosis and recovery for the Duke and an easy move when it must happen.

  86. 86.

    debbie

    @Liminal Owl:

    Oh, God, I missed this yesterday. How frightening for you (and the Duke, of course)! I hope his recovery is as easy and speedy as can be, and I know if he digs deep down and finds his reservoir of patience, he’ll be fine. All thoughts are with the two of you.

  89. 89.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Liminal Owl: ​
     

    Holy shit! I missed your earlier post about this – it’s been a busy several days for me, so I’ve been lucky to even read all the front-page stuff. I hope Thin Black Duke fully recovers, and I hope they find out just what the heck caused this. He’ll be in my prayers.

  91. 91.

    debbie

    @Gin & Tonic:

    That support was dawdling in its arrival, and what support there was, was superficial (ie, walking through the streets of Kyiv with Zelenskyy).

  92. 92.

    Another Scott

    @Liminal Owl: Thanks for letting us know.

    Seizures are scary things.  :-(  Our dog Sophie had them occasionally.  Gabapentin seemed to help reduce the frequency  (less than once a year) and intensity for her.

    Hoping for the best, and good luck with the release.  And the move!

    Keep us updated when you can.

    Best wishes,
    Scott.

  93. 93.

    Gvg

    @Amir Khalid: open. You need to check that it’s what you ordered and undamaged and there may be return windows etc. sorry to be so practical but I was burned once.

  96. 96.

    evodevo

    @Tony Jay: ​
      Which recent comment thread is that original long Boris rant in, just before he resigned? I have been hunting for it and can’t locate it…asking for a friend lol

  98. 98.

    J R in WV

    @Amir Khalid: ​
     

    In other news, the birthday present I ordered for myself has arrived. Should I unbox it today, or wait until the 17th?

    I vote for open it right now, that way if it’s damaged in shipping you can file a loss report immediately. Plus new guitar to play. Right?

  99. 99.

    Ruckus

    @TS:

    The only way the right in this country has gotten as far as it has is sticking together in their hideousness. And if enough people find out that their only rational is money, rather than leading or having in any way a competent idea about governing. (For example, see the recent SC rulings) And that same hideousness/rational is at work in the UK. The right has always been about money and restriction. It’s no different here or in any other country. They are not about the greater good, the people, a better life for all, and they never have been. People like Ted Cruz would never be able to do have any kind of reasonable life if they actually had to do anything except whine about rethuglican policies, which boil down to give the wealthy all the money and shut the fuck up, as it’s always been.

  101. 101.

    J R in WV

    Wife had a scary event back in February — we and a small roomful of Drs thought it was a stroke at first, later on a subsequent MRI disclosed a spinal stenosis [ a disc protuding into and against her spinal cord ] in her neck, which was repaired surgically by a very well-regarded neurosurgeon. She is recovering nicely, and the surgeon seems very pleased with her work. Yes, female doc with 20 years experience.

    We hope Thin Black Duke gets out asap, gets a diagnosis that’s helpful, and safe and effective care for whatever caused this scare.

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