Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Thanks for reminding me that Van Jones needs to be slapped.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Let there be snark.

We’re not going back!

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Republicans got rid McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Republicans don’t trust women.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

No one could have predicted…

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

This blog will pay for itself.

Let’s finish the job.

And so it is for the politically and morally bankrupt Kevin McCarthy.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Commentary / Asshole / Late Night Foreign Affairs Open Thread: Alexander Boris de Piffle Pfeffle Johnson

Late Night Foreign Affairs Open Thread: Alexander Boris de Piffle Pfeffle Johnson

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Statement ex cathedra:

Palliative care doctor in the UK:


(Rwanda, where Boris Johnson’s government wanted to send asylum seekers)

True — he’s an Upper East Side anchor baby:

Counter-argument:


(Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt)

Reader Interactions

59Comments

  1. 1.

    debbie

    When the cat disavows you…

    I hadn’t realized he had been a journalist and am shocked he has had as much of a career as he has even after that.

  3. 3.

    Hkedi [Kang T. Q.]

    I’m not completely convinced that he is done yet. He is completely egotistical enough to kneecap any up and coming challenger, and then go, “nobody took over yet? I guess I’m still prime minister!”

    Now it would ruin the party in the next general election, but when has Boris ever looked out for anyone else but #1 in his books.

  6. 6.

    columbusqueen

    He’s a total cad, bounder, & buffoon. I can’t believe how many women are willing to fuck him.

  9. 9.

    mrmoshpotato

    That cat is out of fucks to give for Bitchass Boris.

    BoJo should brexit himself.

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    Lovely chap, that Alexander Boris de Piffle de Pfeffle de Pfeffel Johnson. Tricky name to spell, though.

    What does it say about the circles he moved in — the elite of English society; the prestige outlets of British print media; the upper reaches of the Conservative Party, and of local and national government — that they all allowed this unprincipled, inept, morally degenerate, and shameless thing to fail upward again and again?

  15. 15.

    TS

    Watched the video on twitter – cannot believe so many would vote for such a person, especially the politicians in his party, most of whom would 100% know his history – something seriously insane about our world over the past few years.

  16. 16.

    ColoradoGuy

    Some people worship power because they admire it. In England it’s the lingering aroma of a fading aristocracy, in the USA it’s the reek of ill-gotten mobster money and Las Vegas style glitz. Why people admire this brazen corruption and shameless deceitfulness is a mystery, but the past several years have shown it is true. Maybe because it gives them permission to be their worst selves.

  17. 17.

    David ☘The Establishment☘ Koch

    A lot of people voted for Hitler.

    Human nature is over rated.

  19. 19.

    Brachiator

    @Amir Khalid:

    What does it say about the circles he moved in — the elite of English society; the prestige outlets of British print media; the upper reaches of the Conservative Party, and of local and national government — that they all allowed this unprincipled, inept, morally degenerate, and shameless thing to fail upward again and again?

    A good number of these people are just as shameless and degenerate as Johnson. Having attended Eton as children and gone on to Oxford or Cambridge, they presume that the government and the country belongs to them. During the pandemic, Johnson arranged for companies controlled by Tory donors to get contracts for medical ppe equipment even though these companies had no experience making or procuring this stuff. Hundreds of millions was spent on stuff that turned out to be useless. No one has been held to account.

    You will also find fierce defenders of Prince Andrew among this crew.

    And it is an odd joke, apparently based on truth, that Boris Johnson doesn’t know exactly how many children he has fathered. And yet many in his circle see him as charming.

  20. 20.

    Tony Jay

    He hasn’t resigned as Prime Minister, he’s stepped down as Tory Party leader.

    He hasn’t apologised or accepted responsibility, he’s told everyone how great he’s been and blamed everything on hostile media coverage and weak MPs.

    He still has the support of all the vile media magnates who control the national narrative, and since he didn’t get forced out by a vote, he’s still allowed to run in the leadership race.

    I don’t expect him to win it, I don’t expect him to stay in office past Autumn, but I do expect him to try and/or extract the highest possible price for his quiet exit  while all around him the Tory factions are tearing each other apart.

    And while this nonsense continues, we’re all just expected to understand that it’s perfectly normal and nothing that people of our low station should concern themselves with.

    Truly, this is the very best of times.

  24. 24.

    Matt McIrvin

    Hmm. Is a natural-born citizen who renounces citizenship, then is re-naturalized, eligible to be President? I guess maybe.

  25. 25.

    Mai Naem mobile

    I don’t follow UK politics closely. I always thought of BoJo as a joke. I didn’t realize what a total a-hole he was. What a racist misogynistic bigoted POS. The incompetence is just the cherry on top.

  27. 27.

    Amir Khalid

    @Tony Jay:

    I understand that BoJo is for some reason eligible to stand for party leader in the summer election. Is there no one willing to tell him how destructive that could be for the party?

  28. 28.

    Tony Jay

    @mrmoshpotato:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Honda DR-V, baybee. We’re driving to Scotland in a few weeks to pick up arms, drugs and curried chicken pies for the coming revolution and the arse just finally fell out of ‘Apophis’, our enormous Mazda 5, so we need something that’s almost, but not quite, as big.

  30. 30.

    Tony Jay

    @Amir Khalid:

    You think he can be made to care? After the terrible, undeserved calumny they’ve heaped upon him? /s

    There are currently 19 lunatics saying they want his crown. That’s a recipe for chaos that would suit the World King’s comeback plans just fine.

  32. 32.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Tony Jay:

    Honda DR-V, baybee. We’re driving to Scotland in a few weeks to pick up arms, drugs and curried chicken pies for the coming revolution and the arse just finally fell out of ‘Apophis’, our enormous Mazda 5, so we need something that’s almost, but not quite, as big.

    Gotta have room for all the pies!  And a little left over for the arms and drugs.

  33. 33.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Tony Jay:

    There are currently 19 lunatics saying they want his crown. That’s a recipe for chaos that would suit the World King’s comeback plans just fine. 

    Gotta move some money into British popcorn futures.

  34. 34.

    Amir Khalid

    Incidentally, I’ve spent the past couple of days playing with my birthday present that arrived a week early. I’ve noticed that the neck on an SG-type guitar sticks out farther from the body than on other guitars; when I reach for a chord, my hand ends up one or two frets higher than it should be and the chord is wrong.

    Other than that, it’s a made-in-China Gibson SG copy at a tiny fraction of the real thing’s price, it’s a ridiculously good instrument that’s well made, gorgeous in all black, comfortable to hold, and sounds really good.

  36. 36.

    Soprano2

    @TS: Well, 74 million people voted for TFG, and he’s the same kind of person. They all knew that, yet they voted for him anyway. In fact, that’s why a lot of them voted for him!

  37. 37.

    Soprano2

    @Brachiator: And it is an odd joke, apparently based on truth, that Boris Johnson doesn’t know exactly how many children he has fathered. And yet many in his circle see him as charming.

    It’s amazing to think how this fact would be covered if he weren’t a white man.

  38. 38.

    Geminid

    @Amir Khalid: Congratulations on your new guitar! Sounds like you will play a lot of good music with it. I hope your birthday is a happy one.

  39. 39.

    Mai Naem mobile

    @Tony Jay: I’ve always thought of the Tories as further to the right of Rockefeller Republicans but not as crazy as the current GOP. Routine  government corruption/crony capitalism   with some casual but not ‘say it out loud’ racism. This  is clearly not your daddy’s Conservative Party.

  40. 40.

    catclub

    @Tony Jay: ​
      In Scotland 200 miles is a long way to drive but a 200 year old house is normal. In the US it is the reverse. Also in The UK a Mazda 5 is an enormous vehicle.

  41. 41.

    kalakal

    That Led by Donkeys video is great, I’ve loved their posters for years.

    One thing it doesn’t bring out is how much Johnson was responsible for the British press’ BS stories about the EU. He spent about 5 years in the 90s writing lying clickbait.

    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jul/14/boris-johnson-brussels-bashing-stories-shaped-politics?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

    No senior member of the Tory Party and the British establishment that wasn’t condemning the swine years ago has any excuse. They’ve always known what he is.

    As for the public , well a lot of experts have been selling him and monstering his opponents for a very long time. He’s a lot smoother than TFG but it’s been obvious in both cases what they are. Supporters are either very, very stupid, actually approve of his behaviour and (in) competence , evil or any combination

  42. 42.

    Gvg

    @catclub: yes. I have a Mazda 5. It is a mid size at best here. I love it but have no idea what to replace it with as there is no real equivalent I can find. Trying to take good care of it.

  43. 43.

    Tony Jay

    @Mai Naem mobile:

    A large chunk of the modern Tory Party gets its ideological and financial machinery from the same billiotarian swamps as the GOP, they’ve just got different accents and a smaller market to sell their shoddy goods in.

  45. 45.

    Tony Jay

    @catclub:

    To be fair, in Scotland 200 miles will get you up and down a couple of hills or around the curving, swirling coastal road to end up five miles across the loch from where you started.

    And sadly the Big Car syndrome has been seeping in over here for a while, now. From the ubiquitous ‘Chelsea Tractor’ 4x4s clogging up the school run to the obviously penile-compensatory ‘family sized car with a pick-up bed hanging off the back’ beloved by so many things of the bald and tattooed fraternity.

    We just need room for camping equipment! We’re legit.

  47. 47.

    kalakal

    @Tony Jay: Heh, what never ceases to amaze me is how cheap it is to buy an MP. Remember ‘Cash for Questions’? Hamilton and Co. were selling out for a 1,000 quid in used fivers and tickets to Disney. For our American viewers here is a link to the story of Neil ‘Sleazey’ Hamilton and a pre BoJo saga of Tory corruption and fascism from the ’90s. Boris Johnson without the charm, he’s quite the character and considered as a whole should be filled in

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Hamilton_(politician)

  48. 48.

    Mike in NC

    So he really was the British version of Trump. Fascinating, as Mr. Spock would say.

  49. 49.

    sab

    @Tony Jay: 200 miles in Scotland…made me chuckle a lot. Been there done that.

    In Ohio it would just get you halfway down (or up) the state on smooth multilane highways between Cincinnati to Columbus to Cleveland. 200 miles gets you to or from Columbus and not much farther.

    Not saying we are better. Rather saying it’s why we are such a mess. Too far to communicate. We have gerrymandered Congressional districts where it takes all day to traverse the district on good fast roads.

  50. 50.

    Bill Arnold

    @Tony Jay:

    That’s a recipe for chaos that would suit the World King’s comeback plans just fine.

    People other than Tories can work that chaos.

  51. 51.

    sab

    @kalakal: @sab: Also too, domething bad has happened in American electoral politics. Our system is not parliamentary. Our guys have a party loyalty, but at House of Representative level they were very local. We sent who we liked and they voted for us. In UK backbenchers are nobodies. In US every congresscritter can propose legislation and try to push it. In the olden days they often succeeded.

    What we have with the current Republicans on lockstep is not normal in our non-parliamentary system.

  54. 54.

    VOR

    @Tony Jay: IIRC his former advisor Dominic Cumming gave the opinion Boris was buying time. As you point out, he is still PM and maybe this all blows over. No, I don’t know how either. As the old story goes, maybe the horse will learn to sing.

  55. 55.

    Quaker in a Basement

    @Soprano2: Well, 74 million people voted for TFG, and he’s the same kind of person.

    And yet, somehow even less likeable.

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