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You are here: Home / Humorous / Saturday Morning Open Thread: Hypothetically…

Saturday Morning Open Thread: Hypothetically…

by Anne Laurie|  May 13, 20235:28 am| 103 Comments

This post is in: Humorous, Military

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Without comment. pic.twitter.com/JDmCZDowP0

— Tony Stark (@Iron_Man_Actual) May 10, 2023

… We may have discovered another Thing Skippy Can’t Do.

(And gems like this are why Twitter isn’t dead, yet.)

There is a reason why Murphy the Trickster God manifests as a coyote, folks!

The (I am not a lawyer) correct answers are as follows:
Article 15, BDE level for endangering fellow soldiers and various property violations
No, do not feed it. Do not give it alcohol. Do not put a coyote in your car to take it to the vet. It will kill you.

Do not blackmail.

— Tony Stark (@Iron_Man_Actual) May 10, 2023

Asking for a friend

— Henry Simpson (@_Henry_Simpson_) May 11, 2023

Promote trooper WAY ahead of peers

Promote the murder puppy to company mascot

— Medium Zee, Ursine of Armored Cavalry (@WiednerZach) May 11, 2023

So you guys get coyotes, but when ONE alligator follows me in the SCIF…

— Syntaxin Bach (@Synntaxxin) May 11, 2023

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Previous Post: « Friday Night Open Thread: Who’d Be A Woman (CEO) On Twitter?…
Next Post: Creating chaff to separate »

Reader Interactions

103Comments

  1. 1.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 5:47 am

    Blech.

  2. 2.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 5:49 am

    10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on Government time.

  3. 3.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 5:59 am

    I guess everybody is still hung over from last night.

    33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
    34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

  4. 4.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 6:04 am

    72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
    80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
    81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.

  5. 5.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 6:11 am

    104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a ‘Cool Mint’ Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
    124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
    125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
    126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.

  6. 6.

    japa21

    May 13, 2023 at 6:30 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: ​
      Keep it going. You’re on a roll.

  7. 7.

    satby

    May 13, 2023 at 6:33 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: nope, been up since 5 baking cookies for a memorial service at the UU church before I go open my booth at the market. Someone will pick them up there, so I have to be ready!

    Happy Saturday all.

  8. 8.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 6:38 am

    @japa21:
    145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
    146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

    I wish I’d thought of this (just pints tho) when I was doing urine drops.

  9. 9.

    satby

    May 13, 2023 at 6:38 am

    In other news, the young men renting the upstairs apartment in the house across from me brought me the young cat the downstairs people turned loose to fend for itself after it wasn’t a cute little kitten any longer. I had asked them if the former owners at least left food or water out for it, they told me they never saw any. So I gave them some, and an hour later they had captured the poor hungry thing.

  10. 10.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 6:46 am

    @satby: ​People suck. I once found a tiny furball of kitten in my chicken run. I have no idea what caught my eye but thank dawg it did because the rooster I had then would have torn it to pieces.

    156. I will no longer perform ‘lap-dances’ while in uniform.
    157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.

    159. When detained by MP’s, I do not have a right to a strip search.

  11. 11.

    JPL

    May 13, 2023 at 6:46 am

    @satby: People can be so cruel.

  12. 12.

    BenCisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️

    May 13, 2023 at 6:54 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: You triggered a memory:

    152: During exercises, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, replace the water in your canteen with any clear alcohol when subject to no-notice first aid drills.

    Note: I was only an observer for that one, the offender caught an Article 15 for injuring another airman.

  13. 13.

    satby

    May 13, 2023 at 7:00 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: @JPL: yes, they do and can. But another thing we fight as rescuers is the idea that cats can be self-sufficient and hunt for the food they need (paracites and toxins gratis) so people think it’s preferable to dump them outside rather than take them to a shelter. This was a “free to a good home” kitten, and if they couldn’t be bothered to feed it I can safely bet they never took it to a vet for immunizations. So, it was destined to have a short, hungry, brutish life; but now he’ll have a chance at a better one. 

  14. 14.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 7:02 am

    @BenCisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️: I love the ones where he fucks with officers.

    187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
    194. Shouldn’t take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
    195. Shouldn’t use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.

  15. 15.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 7:06 am

    Lastly,
    204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an “Easter Desecration.”

  16. 16.

    Baud

    May 13, 2023 at 7:27 am

    @satby:

    👋

  17. 17.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 7:33 am

    Polling places in Turkiye will open in under 18 hours,* at 8am Sunday Turkish time. They’ll close at 5pm. Voters will receive two ballots: one for President and one for the 600 seat Grand National Assembly. I read that Turkish voter participation typically runs 80% or better.

    According to Politico,** media can start reporting on the election at 9pm and unofficial results are expected to start trickling in around midnight.

    *If my math is right, Turkiye is 7 hours ahead of Eastern Daylight Savings Time.

    ** Politico, “How to watch the Turkish election like a pro,” May 12, 2023. A short “7 minute read” reviewing candidates, parties and election mechanics.

  18. 18.

    Baud

    May 13, 2023 at 7:34 am

    @Geminid:

    This is the first round, right?

  19. 19.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 7:37 am

    Manhood review: Josh Hawley, moraliser, neo-Confederate and Tucker Carlson of the US Senate

    I read the review so you don’t have to. What follows are all the things that bear repeating:

  20. 20.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 7:41 am

    @Baud: It’s possible that Erdogan or Kilicdaroglu will exceed 50% in the first round. If not, a runoff will be held May 24.

    One of the four presidential candidates, Mr. Ince, dropped out a few days ago but his name will still be on the ballot. He was polling ~2%. Mr. Ogan remains in the race and was polling ~4.5%.

  21. 21.

    prostratedragon

    May 13, 2023 at 7:43 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:  I think one can add empty lines in the visual mode comment box.

     

     

     

     

    Just to  you know, make it clear.

  22. 22.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 7:45 am

    @prostratedragon: I didn’t feel any need to, my statement summed it up.

  23. 23.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 7:49 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: Hawley’s a crypro-Nazi creep. I hope Lucas Kunce can give Hawley a run for his money.

  24. 24.

    prostratedragon

    May 13, 2023 at 8:01 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:  Long as it’s clear it’s no accident8P  Was pretty sure I got your drift.

  25. 25.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:06 am

    @prostratedragon: I know you did, you were just trying to be helpful and I am appreciative of that.

    @Geminid: I’d like it if he could. I’ll send him some money but Misery Republicans are shameless. They should be embarrassed to have such an empty suit representing us in the Senate, but they aren’t.

  26. 26.

    JPL

    May 13, 2023 at 8:08 am

    The Washington Post has an article about the person who leaked classifed information.   It’s lucky that’s all he did because the article reads like a profile of a killer.   His parents had to know if racial views and tendency towards hate.   WParticle

  27. 27.

    lowtechcyclist

    May 13, 2023 at 8:10 am

    Thought this had to be The Onion when I first saw it, but apparently it’s real (or is going to be, at least):

    Russian authorities will launch construction of a village outside Moscow for conservative-minded Americans and Canadians next year, the state-run RIA Novosti news agency reported Thursday.

    https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2023/05/11/russia-to-build-migrant-village-for-conservative-american-expats-a81101

    Would love to see some of those dipshits take the Russians up on this.

  28. 28.

    prostratedragon

    May 13, 2023 at 8:12 am

    I doubt it was originally intended as a “political” gesture, but it is one now:

    ‘Everything is changed forever’: For Oxford, a never-ending nightmare follows a mass shooting As students try to heal, school district rejects request for orange gun violence survivor cords at graduationhttps://t.co/fS1kiz38Bc via @michiganadvance— Michigan Advance (@MichiganAdvance) May 13, 2023

  29. 29.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 8:14 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: Kunce has to be rated a long shot. He’s the type of candidate who might have strong appeal for Independents, though. With President Biden on the ballot (and probably Trump too) seems like Democrats will turn out for Kunce, so I don’t count him out.

    But I’m looking at this 800 miles away from St. Louis.

  30. 30.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:14 am

    This Weird-Ass St. Louis House Gets Weirder the Deeper You Go [PHOTOS]

    Mostly, I like it. I would definitely repaint that dining room, way too dark. The pink rooms bother me not at all. They did some pretty cool stuff with it. That attic says. “We love our kitty cats.” I am not sure what they find so weird about the basement and the wine cellar is actually pretty cool, definitely a different take.

    The one big drawback is it’s location: Right next to I-44. The highway noise would drive me crazy.

  31. 31.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:16 am

    @lowtechcyclist: ​ I applaud their attempts to lure the worst Americans to their land of ice, snow, and gulags.

  32. 32.

    mali muso

    May 13, 2023 at 8:19 am

    Good morning jackals. I’m taking the morning shift getting up with the kiddo today (spouse and I take turns on the weekend letting the other get a weekend sleep-in), and she is firmly ensconced in the My Little Pony movie. So I’ll have the earworm songs stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

    My corner of Virginia is cool and rainy today, so my tentative plans to set up our one pathetic little raised bed may still be on hold.  I have the opposite of a green thumb, but kiddo is interested in the novelty of planting seeds and watching things grow, so we’ll give it a try!

  33. 33.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:19 am

    @Geminid: ​And I’m looking at it 80 miles from STL. Most of my neighbors would vote for Jack the Ripper before voting for a DEM. Still, I have to hope, hence I will send him a little campaign cash.

  34. 34.

    Amir Khalid

    May 13, 2023 at 8:21 am

    @lowtechcyclist:

    A strange, strange place to put Galt’s Gulch.

  35. 35.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 8:23 am

    @mali muso:

    Seed suggestions: sunflowers, and radishes because they come up quickly.

    Calendula seeds look neat, like little caterpillars, and make a nice flower.

  36. 36.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 8:27 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    Rating: 🌟☆☆☆☆

    “Worst Home Owners Association ever!”

  37. 37.

    mali muso

    May 13, 2023 at 8:27 am

    @Geminid: Thanks!  Duly noted, will put them on the list.  The more edible items, the better. Helps with the ongoing project to encourage her to eat fresh fruits and veg!

  38. 38.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 8:30 am

    @mali muso: That multicolor chard might be good too.

    Sunflowers attract pollinators including honeybees, and gold finches like to eat the seeds.

  39. 39.

    Michael Bersin

    May 13, 2023 at 8:30 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    The third senator from Virginia does indeed continue to receive significant benefits via wingnut welfare, though sometimes it’s penny ante. It’s all about the grift.

    Money and Virginia and Abortion, oh my…

  40. 40.

    MagdaInBlack

    May 13, 2023 at 8:34 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: I like it a whole lot more than the ones that look like a museum of the era. Wonder if this place was a daycare? It has that feel.

  41. 41.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:35 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Lafayette Square. I knew this house before the crazy paint colors. As I recall it had  unpainted (or stripped) woodwork.

  42. 42.

    Soprano2

    May 13, 2023 at 8:35 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: Same thing down here, although it’s slowly changing. We have 3 Democrats in the state House, 4 years ago we only had one. I think it’s a combination of Springfield slowly getting more liberal and R’s getting crazier. Mike Moon (R-unbeliveably insane) is from a district north of me.

  43. 43.

    Soprano2

    May 13, 2023 at 8:42 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: It reminds me of Monticello, several of the rooms there have wild paint combinations. Evidently that was the style at that time among wealthy people. It’s just paint, that’s relatively easy to change.

    I’m up early on Saturday because the cat is going to the vet. He’s not happy that I won’t let him out. Wait until I put him in the cat carrier!

  44. 44.

    Michael Bersin

    May 13, 2023 at 8:43 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    “…And I’m looking at it 80 miles from STL…”

    Looking at it from west central Missouri (50 miles from Kansas City). It’s the same. Overwhelmingly right wingnut with significant numbers of untapped not crazy people who don’t bother to vote. If everybody votes, there’s a chance. If everybody votes. I’m not holding my breath.

    Lucas Kunce (d) does actually know real Kansas City barbecue, too.

    Lucas Kunce (D) – Kansas City, Missouri – February 9, 2023

  45. 45.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:48 am

    @Michael Bersin: ​Unlike Hotfoot Hawley who thinks the best Missouri barbecue is in Kansas.

  46. 46.

    Michael Bersin

    May 13, 2023 at 8:50 am

    @Soprano2:

    Mike Moon (r). Child brides:

    You might want to stop digging, Mike (r)

    Demonstrating his nuanced understanding of mythology:

    Maybe if we all think of Ceres as a dwarf planet Rep. Mike Moon (r) will be okay with it

  47. 47.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 8:50 am

    @Michael Bersin: Politico Magazine published a long article on Lucas Kunce in November, 2020. At the time he had started campaigning for Roy Blunt’s seat. The writer was a Missouri-based political reporter, and she included a review of Missouri politics since the 1970s that I found informative.

  48. 48.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:50 am

    @Geminid:

    My attempt at sunflowers here in New Mexico has been an absolute failure. Started them inside. So healthy, sturdy. Transplanted in the newly revamped side yard…along the latilla fence, in a raised bed. I’m talking a lot of transplants that I had babied for 6 weeks inside. Within 2 days eaten by bunnies, mice, pack rates. Not to be deterred, I tried again. New seeds, with mulch, chicken wire. Within 2 days, most all the seeds dug up and eaten. During all of this, I look out the window late one afternoon after hearing a near hysterical JoJo. He had been playing with his herding/soccer ball on his fake turf. He is literally hopping straight, up and down…all 4s leaving the ground. Out I go to check….he has a huge bull snake cornered by this damn failed sunflower bed and his little baby pool.  Snake coiled, hissing…doing that rattlesnake imitation that bull snakes do. I grabbed the water hose and sprayed JoJo to get him away. Grabbed him and got him in the house.

    Bull snakes are beneficial. They eat mice, etc. My friend said my failed sunflowers brought the mice, the mice brought the snake.

    First one of the season. JoJo’s first direct encounter in the year plus of being here. Now he won’t go near his pool.

  49. 49.

    Betty

    May 13, 2023 at 8:52 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: It’s kind of a refreshing change from the HGTV standard decor.

  50. 50.

    Josie

    May 13, 2023 at 8:52 am

    @Soprano2: ​
     Bless you, my child. Do you have oven mitts for this dangerous operation?

  51. 51.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:53 am

    @Quinerly: Ever since Billie Jean got bit by the copperhead she is very leery of tall grass.

  52. 52.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 8:54 am

    @Quinerly: Maybe you could try another round of seeds, and tell those mice there’s a new sheriff in town.

  53. 53.

    Warblewarble

    May 13, 2023 at 8:54 am

    HOTFOOT HAWLEY ,YES,YES,YES.

  54. 54.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 8:54 am

    @Betty: I really like things that are different. They give me ideas.

  55. 55.

    Another Scott

    May 13, 2023 at 8:59 am

    @Quinerly: Our Ellie apparently was stung by a bee once – she won’t go near anything buzzing, and will try to back out of her collar if she sees or hears a bumblebee.  :⁠-⁠(

    Here’s hoping that Jojo realizes that it was temporary and gets to enjoy his pool again!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  56. 56.

    rikyrah

    May 13, 2023 at 9:00 am

    Good Morning Everyone 😊😊😊

  57. 57.

    Michael Bersin

    May 13, 2023 at 9:02 am

    @Geminid:

    I followed Trudy Busch Valentine’s (D) campaign in over a dozen events (urban and rural) across the western part of the state after that August primary. She is a smart, good, empathetic human being. She connected with voters one-on-one as well as, if not, better than, any other candidates I’ve observed in observing 30 years of Missouri politics.

    Instead, we got Eric Schmitt (r).

  58. 58.

    kalakal

    May 13, 2023 at 9:03 am

    @lowtechcyclist:

    My only complaint is it’s too small, the more the merrier

    And it needs a UK subdivision – could call it Brexit-Litovsk

  59. 59.

    Baud

    May 13, 2023 at 9:04 am

    @rikyrah:

    Good morning.

  60. 60.

    kalakal

    May 13, 2023 at 9:04 am

    @rikyrah: Good Morning 😄

  61. 61.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:05 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    I grew up with copperheads in yards in NC. Know of several people who lost their dogs to bites.

    I’m not a snake person. And I am still learning the difference in the “Beneficial Bully” and a rattlesnake. They look very similar and I still don’t trust my identification skills. Honestly, I am not 100% sure this wasn’t a rattler. We missed the “Rattlesnake Avoidance” dog classes held out here in April. I’m still not sure about it for JoJo. They “shock” the dogs to train them to avoid the snakes.

    My second encounter with a bull snake last year was when I was putting in the first cactus garden out front. Had been digging for about an hour. Took a break to make a call. Had just left the shovel where I was working. Sitting on my porch on my call and look across the area to the shovel in the sun. Huge bull snake had appeared from nowhere and wound himself around the shovel, laying on the warm metal. I had barely put the shovel down.

  62. 62.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:09 am

    @Quinerly: The easiest way to differentiate a pit viper from other snakes is that the pit vipers all have a triangular shaped head. Non venomous snakes do not.​
    eta: with the exception of the coral snake which are also venomous, but they are easily identified by their red, black and yellow colors. There is mnemonic on the order of the colors but I have forgotten it. The google is my friend: Red touches yellow, kills a fellow. Red touches black, venom lack.​

  63. 63.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:15 am

    @Geminid:

    I’m done. Out of the mood for it now. Went to Plants of the SW Thurs. Bought a nice selection of ornamental grasses…the ones that stay in a tight bunch. Going to put them in. Should eventually grow 5-7ft. Low maintenance, little water needed.

    I have a large section of those perennial New Mexico sunflowers that were here. They are along a wall where we put down that first pallet of flagstones. They are up and hearty. Were beautiful last year but late bloomers. What I should have done was transplant a few to the new area. I’m afraid now since the blazing afternoon heat has set in. I actually thought about it before I started these seeds. That perennial variety wasn’t up yet. I decided to go with good, old fashioned sunflower seeds instead. Normally they grow anywhere. I’m learning as I go along.

  64. 64.

    BlueGuitarist

    May 13, 2023 at 9:17 am

    @mali muso:

    I have the opposite of a green thumb, but kiddo is interested in the novelty of planting seeds and watching things grow, so we’ll give it a try!

    Exemplary parenting!

  65. 65.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:17 am

    @Another Scott:

    My Poco used to catch bees and eat them. Snap them in the air.

    I’ll probably move his pool. It kinda spooked me too.

  66. 66.

    Scout211

    May 13, 2023 at 9:21 am

    @Quinerly: We have rattlesnakes and gopher snakes here and people keep telling me that they look different from each other. But I can’t tell the difference. The gopher snake has a very good disguise.  They look exactly like rattle snakes to me, but without the rattle. They even move their tails back in forth in dry grass to sound like rattles.

    We purchased snake tongs years ago and they are very helpful. A long pole (they usually come in different lengths) with tongs to capture the snake and either move it somewhere outside of your property or somewhere to use your shovel more easily. We just move them to a nearby bare land property.  But most of our neighbors kill them.  Everyone keeps the gopher snakes, though. They are very beneficial.  If you know how to tell them from rattlesnakes, that is. 

    Here’s an Amazon page full of snake tong choices.

    Snake tongs.

  67. 67.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:21 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    I get it. I have pictures up, watched videos. I’m still not comfortable with all of this. I have 2 gal pals who stop in the middle of country roads, to pick up bullys to move them out of the road. One gal brings them home so she can have them in her yard to eat the mice. She was riding one around the other day wrapped around her steering wheel with her new manicure.

  68. 68.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:25 am

    @Scout211:

    Snake tongs! Boy when my life changed it really changed. In my St. Louis years my annoyance was the highway noise from I 55.

    (Yes, Ozark…read your earlier comment)

    Looking into snake tongs shortly. Thanks!

  69. 69.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:26 am

    @Scout211: But most of our neighbors kill them.

    That pains me. I never kill the snakes I find on our property, not even the venomous ones. I catch them, put them in a 5 gal bucket and transfer them to one of the many conservation areas or state parks near by. I love my black snakes, rat snakes, garter snakes, king snakes etc. They keep the vermin #s in check.

  70. 70.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:28 am

    @Quinerly: ​She was riding one around the other day wrapped around her steering wheel with her new manicure.

    I don’t go so far as to adopt them, :-), just live and let live.

  71. 71.

    laura

    May 13, 2023 at 9:29 am

    @Quinerly: My Poco used to catch bees and eat them. Snap them in the air

    We call that a sky raisin.

  72. 72.

    mali muso

    May 13, 2023 at 9:40 am

    It’s commencement season and seeing a blurb about Sasha Obama graduating made me all nostalgic.  Kids, they grow up too fast!

  73. 73.

    HinTN

    May 13, 2023 at 9:40 am

    Hotfoot Hawley, he’s our man

    Runs as fast as any man can

    Encourages rioters, gives them the fist

    They break in and his pants get pissed

  74. 74.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:48 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    I’m in such a snake friendly area, I think someone would be run out of the neighborhood if they said they killed ANY snake. Eldorado has a rattlesnake relocation hotline that you are to call if you have a rattlesnake in your yard. Honestly, though, I don’t know how you keep track of the rattlesnake while the “team” is enroute. If my encounters with these Beneficial Bullys are indicators, snakes move pretty fast.

  75. 75.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:53 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    She was bringing it back to her little ranch to relocate it in a barn to eat mice.

    Another interesting thing about this friend is she is partially deaf. She has a service dog that has been trained to alert her to rattlesnakes.

    (Sometimes I miss my old life and just want a Black and Tan at McGurk’s and music at the Venice…reality of “here” hits me from time to time….like when I can’t decide which is the best set of SNAKE TONGS for me and just put 4 in my cart to decide on later)

  76. 76.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 9:53 am

    @laura:

    💜

  77. 77.

    zhena gogolia

    May 13, 2023 at 10:09 am

    @Michael Bersin: Gates! Now we’re talking!

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 13, 2023 at 10:23 am

    Coyote?  Damn it, back in my day, we tried to keep packs of wolves.  That’s the problem with young people today….

  79. 79.

    Geminid

    May 13, 2023 at 10:30 am

    @Michael Bersin: This is a frustrating aspect of politics: candidate quality counts a lot less than demographics. Lauren Boebert almost lost the CO 3rd CD last November because she was such a low quality candidate, but she would have been an exception that proved the rule.

    People used to say, “I vote for the person, not the party,” and some probably meant it. I hardly ever hear of someone saying it now.

  80. 80.

    Parfigliano

    May 13, 2023 at 10:34 am

    @Quinerly: In NM I’ve had no problem growing sun flowers from seed in 2 ft tall pots on south side of house.

  81. 81.

    WaterGirl

    May 13, 2023 at 10:37 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: I love that!  thank you.

  82. 82.

    WaterGirl

    May 13, 2023 at 10:41 am

    @HinTN: Excellent!

  83. 83.

    schrodingers_cat

    May 13, 2023 at 10:51 am

    OT good news

    BJP suffers a resounding defeat in Karnataka (home of  India’s IT hub, Bengaluru.

    I like this illustration!

  84. 84.

    There go two miscreants

    May 13, 2023 at 10:52 am

    @HinTN: ​Very good! A slight suggested revision:

    Hotfoot Hawley! See him scram!
    etc.

  85. 85.

    Miss Bianca

    May 13, 2023 at 11:06 am

    I loved one of the comments on that Twitter thread: “If not friend, why friend-shaped?”

    I am *so* stealing that one!

  86. 86.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 11:08 am

    @Parfigliano:

    Where were you? I see them all over town in Santa Fe and Albuquerque. My spot was perfect, I thought. Southwest corner on the fence. I’m outside of SF. Rural surrounds, 3 acres, lots of wind and critters. Pretty much anything in pots has to be low plantings. Wind would keep me moving pots around or turning back up if something was remotely top heavy.

  87. 87.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 11:08 am

    Deleted

    Duplicate

  88. 88.

    Miss Bianca

    May 13, 2023 at 11:23 am

    @OzarkHillbilly: I kinda like it as is. But then I’m sort of into the Pink Goth aesthetic. Does that make me weird?

  89. 89.

    Miss Bianca

    May 13, 2023 at 11:27 am

    @Quinerly: I would strongly encourage the rattlesnake avoidance workshops. Yes, they use shock collars, but it’s not even set to “stun” – just enough to associate the smell of the rattler with an unpleasant sensation.

    But if you do go, make sure they’re using actual (de-venomed) rattlers, NOT bull snakes! (Which some of them do.) They smell completely different, according to those who know about these things.

  90. 90.

    different-church-lady

    May 13, 2023 at 11:36 am

    “Hypothetically, you shouldn’t be putting any of this on social media…”

  91. 91.

    Miss Bianca

    May 13, 2023 at 11:41 am

    @different-church-lady: I am now reading the list of Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed to Do, and I am dying, I tells ya, *dying*!

  92. 92.

    Origuy

    May 13, 2023 at 11:48 am

    Does anyone remember the movie about a village in Russia where people trained to be sleeper agents by living like Americans? They had American appliances, watched American TV, spoke English, etc.? It was a comedy. I just found it:

    The Experts is a 1989 American comedy film starring John Travolta, Arye Gross and Kelly Preston.

  93. 93.

    Percysowner

    May 13, 2023 at 11:54 am

    @satby: ​
     Years ago a tiny little butterscotch kitten ran into my house and decided to stay, somewhat to the annoyance of the resident cats, but they were used to getting new “buddies”. The next door neighbor told me her husband had brought it home after some (insert expletive here) had THROWN him out of a car window while driving. The couple couldn’t keep him, they had a baby and the cat was too much for them, and were pretty sure I’d take him in, so they let him loose and watched us fall in love. He was a great boy, who got kidney disease and died at a young age, but boy, do I hate anyone who throws and animal out of a car and lets them cope.

  94. 94.

    Miss Bianca

    May 13, 2023 at 12:06 pm

    @Percysowner:

    boy, do I hate anyone who throws and animal out of a car and lets them cope.

    I’m pretty sure that’s what happened to my Watson, who showed up on my neighbor’s porch as a literal Sad Puppy, full of bite marks. (I just saw again that first photo my neighbors took of him, and he had a little black collar on, no tags – I had forgotten that pathetic detail.) To this day, Watson hates, hates, HATES going anywhere in a car or truck – he will literally vibrate with fear, and he makes the weirdest whiny screechy burbling noises, which would be funny as hell except for the hella level of anxiety I know that produces them.

    (chewy things help. Must remember to stock up on chewy things for him when I take him to the vet on Monday.)

  95. 95.

    Michael Bersin

    May 13, 2023 at 12:29 pm

    @Geminid:

    People used to say, “I vote for the person, not the party,” and some probably meant it. I hardly ever hear of someone saying it now.

    Low information voters. They’ve always been low information voters and will continue to be low information voters.

    Conventional wisdom always has Missouri statewide candidates campaign outstate to ostensibly convert “persuadables.” There are no persuadables. However, there are Democratic voters all over the state – in considerable numbers.

    If you turn out the vote in St. Louis, Kansas City, Columbia (and now) Springfield comparable to the percentages that turn out statewide in rural counties you just might have a chance. Even the most regressive counties in the state have a population that is approximately 30% sympathetic to the Democratic Party.

    In Missouri voters don’t register by party. Identifying the party ID of voters and maintaining that information is a massive chore. Every campaign has to deal with this reality.

    Voter suppression is also a reality in Missouri. Yet, at the same time, I cringe when I hear a statewide Democratic Party candidate mumble something about the need to appeal to rural/outstate voters (or hear them pandering to someone’s perception of what a mythical “persuadable” wants to hear). Just identify your votes – then turn them out – urban and rural. The Democratic Party has never abandoned the real concerns of rural voters, it’s just consistently chased the wrong ones.

  96. 96.

    satby

    May 13, 2023 at 12:44 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: I love it (says the lady with burnt orange paint in her dining room). It’s too bad the woodwork is painted, but if it already was and they updated it from white then the colors are an improvement. And, I used to have a sponge-painted pink bedroom that was delightful.

  97. 97.

    Quinerly

    May 13, 2023 at 1:18 pm

    @Miss Bianca:

    Thanks for the information. I will look for a class and ask questions upfront.

  98. 98.

    A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

    May 13, 2023 at 1:24 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: when I first moved to the country here in N CA, I would sometimes not be sure if a snake I saw was a rattlesnake or a gopher snake. Gophers are non poisonous but act like rattlers to get respect. Eventually learned that if I stood there and said “hmm, I wonder if it is a rattler” it was a gopher snake. If I saw it, screamed and jumped 5 feet into the air, it was a rattler. My unconscious/monkey brain had no trouble telling them apart! Probably picked up on the triangular pit viper head. Snakes are very cool. Also learned the true meaning of “snake in the grass”. Almost Invisible.

  99. 99.

    Boris Rasputin (the evil twin)

    May 13, 2023 at 1:37 pm

    @lowtechcyclist: Did you say “Potemkin Village”? It seems to be Putin’s speed.

  100. 100.

    Boris Rasputin (the evil twin)

    May 13, 2023 at 1:42 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: The poor house is a rather grand Victorian that fell into the hands of a color-blind painter with strange tastes in cast-off furniture. I really feel sorry for the place.

  101. 101.

    Kayla Rudbek

    May 13, 2023 at 4:05 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: and now I want to find the Hogwarts Skippy’s List, and it’s not on Archive of Our Own.  The one item I distinctly remember is “No longer allowed to call Professor Flitwick Admiral Naismith.”

  102. 102.

    PBK

    May 13, 2023 at 8:07 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek: https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Things_I_Am_No_Longer_Allowed_To_Do_At_Hogwarts#:~:text=I%20am%20no%20longer%20allowed%20to%20use%20the%20words%20%22pimp,he%20takes%20himself%20too%20seriously.

  103. 103.

    Miss Bianca

    May 13, 2023 at 9:53 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek: WHOO-HA-HA, that one’s funny!

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