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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Happy Birthday To Me!

Happy Birthday To Me!

by John Cole|  June 22, 20236:03 pm| 84 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

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I’m 53. Whatever.

For my birthday, I asked the twittersphere for a favor:

It’s my birthday and I am 53, and for my birthday I would like you to please reply to this with pictures of your pets in costumes or party hats.

Pretty please.

— John Cole (@Johngcole) June 22, 2023

If you click on the link you are going to get hundreds of pets in hats and costumes. Their gift to me is my gift to you!

Still waiting on my fucking check from Soros, though.

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Reader Interactions

84Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    June 22, 2023 at 6:05 pm

    Happy birthday, man. Glad to see you so happy these days

  2. 2.

    eclare

    June 22, 2023 at 6:07 pm

    Happy birthday!

  3. 3.

    cain

    June 22, 2023 at 6:07 pm

    Happy Birthday, young man! (you’re a year younger than me) – You have the “Herbie” number – 53! Ocho! :)

    Also, asking for ‘pets in hats’ literally guarantees people going to a stable diffusion website and generating cats with hats ;)

  4. 4.

    Sorryforlaughing

    June 22, 2023 at 6:11 pm

    Happy birthday!

  5. 5.

    TheronWare

    June 22, 2023 at 6:14 pm

    Happy birthday 🎂!

  6. 6.

    FelonyGovt

    June 22, 2023 at 6:20 pm

    Happy birthday!

    Still waiting on my fucking check from Soros, though.

     
    Aren’t we all.

  7. 7.

    WaterGirl

    June 22, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    That is the best idea.  Ever.

  8. 8.

    Steeplejack

    June 22, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    Happy birthday, Cole! 🥳 🎈 🎉 🎊 🎂

  9. 9.

    WaterGirl

    June 22, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    @Sorryforlaughing: First rule of Balloon Juice:

    Never be sorry for laughing!

  10. 10.

    Tom Levenson

    June 22, 2023 at 6:24 pm

    Happiest of days, youngster!

  11. 11.

    mrmoshpotato

    June 22, 2023 at 6:25 pm

    Obligatory

  12. 12.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    June 22, 2023 at 6:25 pm

    Happy Birthday! 🎂 🎉🎈🎊

  13. 13.

    satby

    June 22, 2023 at 6:27 pm

    Looked and looked, but I don’t have any of my herd, past or present, in costume. So I just said Happy Birthday, and repeat the best wishes for an awesome coming year here.

  14. 14.

    J R in WV

    June 22, 2023 at 6:33 pm

    Happy birthday, J G Cole, and congratulations on everything!

  15. 15.

    JPL

    June 22, 2023 at 6:41 pm

    Little Finch says Happy Birthday, but I don’t wear hats.

  16. 16.

    trollhattan

    June 22, 2023 at 6:42 pm

    Woo-hoo, enjoy! They’re a precious commodity, these orbits.

    🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈

  17. 17.

    Jay

    June 22, 2023 at 6:44 pm

    Happy Birthday John.

    This place has been your gift to us.

  18. 18.

    SiubhanDuinne

    June 22, 2023 at 6:45 pm

    I can hardly get pictures at all, so far, of the three feral cats that come around, let alone get close enough to put hats and costumes on them, but they all (Greymalkin, Hoover, and Hoover’s Kitten) wish you the happiest of birthdays!

  19. 19.

    CaseyL

    June 22, 2023 at 6:46 pm

    🎂 ❤️🎉 Happy Birthday!  🎂 ❤️🎉

  20. 20.

    Geminid

    June 22, 2023 at 6:48 pm

    Happy birthday!

    Since 53 is a prime number, if anyone asks your age you can answer, “Let’s just say I’m in my prime.”

  21. 21.

    BeautifulPlumage

    June 22, 2023 at 6:50 pm

    Happy Birthday! So glad you’ve found Joelle and can be on vacay with her during your BD. You sound much happier. Have a great one!

  22. 22.

    chrisanthemama

    June 22, 2023 at 6:51 pm

    I’m not on the fcking Twitter-machine, and I don’t have a pet, but please enjoy these photos of snakes-with-hats.  Oh, and HBD, Cole.  SnakesWithHats – Serpentine millinery (reddit.com)

  23. 23.

    zhena gogolia

    June 22, 2023 at 6:52 pm

    Happy birthday! Can’t think of anything original to say.

  24. 24.

    Joy in FL

    June 22, 2023 at 6:53 pm

    Happy birthday, John.  My cats also wish you happy birthday : )

  25. 25.

    Noskilz

    June 22, 2023 at 6:55 pm

    Happy Birthday!

  26. 26.

    Alison Rose

    June 22, 2023 at 6:56 pm

    Happy birthday, friend. My cat won’t let me put a stitch of fabric or anything else on her, but here’s a semi-decent AI drawing of Jerry Garcia in a birthday hat.

    Still waiting on my fucking check from Soros, though.

    Convert to Judaism, it’ll come faster.

  27. 27.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 22, 2023 at 6:57 pm

    Happy birthday and thanks for providing this place.

  28. 28.

    BeautifulPlumage

    June 22, 2023 at 6:58 pm

    Sooo many cute pics on your Twitter! Is Mike in Oly really good at Photoshop or are his cats really that cool?

  29. 29.

    misterpuff

    June 22, 2023 at 6:59 pm

    Happy Birthday, Dude!

     

    This is my favorite place.

  30. 30.

    Baud

    June 22, 2023 at 7:01 pm

    @Alison Rose:

    Y’all got that space laser network.

  31. 31.

    Alison Rose

    June 22, 2023 at 7:04 pm

    @Baud: Yeah, so watch it. After centuries upon centuries of ill treatment, we ain’t afraid to use it.

  32. 32.

    OzarkHillbilly

    June 22, 2023 at 7:04 pm

    Well done, John. May you have many more.

  33. 33.

    James E Powell

    June 22, 2023 at 7:08 pm

    Happy Birthday! It’s a cliche, but true, you are 53 years young. Many happy years ahead.

  34. 34.

    Ohio Mom

    June 22, 2023 at 7:08 pm

    Happy birthday and all the best in the coming year!

  35. 35.

    Anne Laurie

    June 22, 2023 at 7:14 pm

    Many happy returns, Cole, and regards to Joelle for helping make this a happy birthday for you!

  36. 36.

    Subcommandante Yakbreath

    June 22, 2023 at 7:15 pm

    Happy Birthday! My cat gang sends their very best wishes, though no pictures.

  37. 37.

    becca

    June 22, 2023 at 7:18 pm

    Happy Birfday! I would send in a pic of my recently adopted Sadie, but she would eat anything I could manage to get on her before I could snap it. We’re going through the “everything is food or a toy” stage right now. It’s a stage, isn’t it? Please tell me it’s a stage.

  38. 38.

    Maxim

    June 22, 2023 at 7:19 pm

    Happy birthday, John! This site is also your gift to us, every day. I hope your next trip around the sun brings you many good things.

  39. 39.

    Ivan X

    June 22, 2023 at 7:19 pm

    I’m 53 too. I think Soros came through for me, but I can’t be sure because it was a black copter, pizza joint, possibly deep state operation. I did get the payoff in the end — I was hoping for cash, but it was a crypto wallet that I tried to cash out but Biden’s SEC is blocking all the fiat off-ramps. Still, I got mine. Maybe I had a leg up on Cole because I’m Jewish.

    ETA: @Alison Rose got to the Jew joke first!

  40. 40.

    delphinium

    June 22, 2023 at 7:24 pm

    Happy Birthday-may this year bring you much deserved joy!

  41. 41.

    Ruckus

    June 22, 2023 at 7:25 pm

    John, Happy Birthday! Did you call your parents and thank them?

    Still waiting on my fucking check from Soros, though.

    I wouldn’t hold my breath.

    It was lost in the mail.

    The dog ate it.

    A billionaire is going to write you a check….  His secretary cashed it at the local liquor store and laughed all the way to the bank at how few zeros it had.

  42. 42.

    zzyzx

    June 22, 2023 at 7:26 pm

    I just have cats. They never let me put anything on them.

  43. 43.

    Mike in NC

    June 22, 2023 at 7:26 pm

    Happy birthday! Mine is tomorrow. Shrimp tacos!

  44. 44.

    Sure Lurkalot

    June 22, 2023 at 7:28 pm

    No pets but I’ll tilt my evening beer in a toast with fine words and gestures! Happy birthday!

  45. 45.

    terraformer

    June 22, 2023 at 7:30 pm

    happy birthday, sir!

    and may this place you’ve created that helped keep me sane in the aughts and since, may it also reach others and help keep them sane as well, forevermore

  46. 46.

    prostratedragon

    June 22, 2023 at 7:32 pm

    Happy Birthday, kiddo! (There are people my age with 53-year-old offspring.) Since mrmoshpotato got there first with the Beatles, have a nice end-of-the-world singalong.

  47. 47.

    mvr

    June 22, 2023 at 7:33 pm

    Happy Birthday John Cole! 53 means you were a young man when you created this Den of Jackals.

  48. 48.

    Meyerman

    June 22, 2023 at 7:36 pm

    Happy Birthday, Cole! Would you just stop trying to make us happy while pretending to hate us all? The cognitive dissonance is exhausting. But seriously, many, many happy returns of the day!

  49. 49.

    JMG

    June 22, 2023 at 7:38 pm

    Happy Birthday! Mine’s next week, I’m a little older than you, if we define “little” in terms of decades.

  50. 50.

    bbleh

    June 22, 2023 at 7:40 pm

    Still waiting on my fucking check from Soros, though.

    Oh that’s just what they tell you to say.

    Happy birthday!  Don’t spend it all in one place.

  51. 51.

    Redshift

    June 22, 2023 at 7:45 pm

    Happy Birthday, John!

    I missed your request on Twitter, but it doesn’t matter because if I put a hat on Joe the Bunny, there’s no way it would stay there long enough to get a photo.

  52. 52.

    Sparkedcat

    June 22, 2023 at 7:52 pm

    Happy Birthday young man! My Soros check was sent to a Nigerian Prince by mistake. All I have to do is send $450.00 and the funds will be released immediately.

  53. 53.

    geg6

    June 22, 2023 at 7:53 pm

    Happy birthday, John.  Good wishes to you from Lovey, Koda and Cleo.  None of whom will tolerate a hat.

  54. 54.

    Jackie

    June 22, 2023 at 8:00 pm

    Happy Birthday, John! I don’t follow Twitter, but did you fulfill your birthday wish with pics of Steve, Max and Thurston bedecked?

  55. 55.

    Sebastian

    June 22, 2023 at 8:01 pm

    Happy Birthday, John! All the best wishes!

  56. 56.

    Betty

    June 22, 2023 at 8:06 pm

    Happy birthday, John. Best wishes for many happy years ahead!

  57. 57.

    Almost Retired

    June 22, 2023 at 8:10 pm

    Happy Happy Birthday!   I am temporarily petless, so I asked my oldest son to contribute a photo of the beloved Grand-dog, a quirky and loveable pit bull mix who is somewhere on the spectrum and loves wearing the many different colorful pajamas my wife buys for her (we’re a bit overdue for grandchildren).  My son refused.  “I am not giving you a photo for you to share with your creepy old imaginary internet friends.”  So offensive.  You all are not imaginary.

  58. 58.

    Alison Rose

    June 22, 2023 at 8:12 pm

    @Ivan X: I’m quick on the draw when it comes to Heeb humor.

  59. 59.

    devore

    June 22, 2023 at 8:13 pm

    Happy Birthday

    🎂

  60. 60.

    lowtechcyclist

    June 22, 2023 at 8:14 pm

    @Geminid: ​
     

    Since 53 is a prime number, if anyone asks your age you can answer, “Let’s just say I’m in my prime.”

    It is a prime, but there are lots of those. (Infinitely many, of course.) I think of it more as a full deck + a joker.

    Happy birthday, John, however you want to look at it, and I’m glad you get to celebrate it this year with someone special!

  61. 61.

    Sister Golden Bear

    June 22, 2023 at 8:17 pm

    Happy birthday!

  62. 62.

    Msilaneous

    June 22, 2023 at 8:17 pm

    Happy birthday!

  63. 63.

    Ivan X

    June 22, 2023 at 8:21 pm

    @Alison Rose: I’ve noticed. It’s one of your superior traits.

  64. 64.

    kalakal

    June 22, 2023 at 8:34 pm

    Happy birthday. No pets in hats ( the cats would kill me) but here’s a cute little doggo who believes every meal should be a party and brings some friends along*

    Lunon

    *At first I thought he must be lonely but there is another dog in the video

  65. 65.

    Ben Cisco 🇺🇸🎖️🖥️♦️

    June 22, 2023 at 8:35 pm

    @Baud: HBD, young sir.

    Wishing you all the best!

  66. 66.

    Alison Rose

    June 22, 2023 at 8:37 pm

    @Ivan X: If only it earned a paycheck!

  67. 67.

    MazeDancer

    June 22, 2023 at 8:51 pm

    Happy Birthday, John!

    My pantherinni kitty Kai is among your hat wearers. Great idea and much fun for all. Pretty sure you get a b-day wish come true for every participating pet.

  68. 68.

    grandmaBear

    June 22, 2023 at 8:55 pm

    @Almost Retired: I’m imaginary.

  69. 69.

    Denali5

    June 22, 2023 at 9:15 pm

    Happy Birthday, John! You’re the best!

  70. 70.

    whatsleft

    June 22, 2023 at 9:23 pm

    Happy Birthday JC!  Thank you for making this jackal hangout come into being 🥰.  And thanks to all those who are keeping it a top 10000 blog!

  71. 71.

    NJ Henderson

    June 22, 2023 at 9:25 pm

    Happy birthday, John. I’ve been coming here for years and years, although I rarely post. Best wishes for everything ahead!

  72. 72.

    Rileys Enabler

    June 22, 2023 at 9:38 pm

    Happy birthday! Riley won’t wear hats or outfits of any kind- ever- but she hopes you have a wonderful day all the same!

  73. 73.

    dww44

    June 22, 2023 at 9:40 pm

    Happy Birthday, John.  You are just a young thing.  Here’s to many more birthdays and wedding anniversaries to celebrate!

  74. 74.

    kindness

    June 22, 2023 at 9:53 pm

    The animal pics people tweeted back to John are awesome.

    Happy Birthday Big Boy.  Soon to be less big.

  75. 75.

    Joelle

    June 22, 2023 at 10:36 pm

    Happy Purrrrthday My Love.  I’m so happy I got to share it with you. Thank you for another purrrfect day. XXOO – Joelle

  76. 76.

    Mai Naem mobileI

    June 22, 2023 at 10:45 pm

    Happy Birthday John. Hope you’re having a wonderful day. On Soros, you have to be asking the son Alex. George has retired so maybe you’ve been sending your demands to the wrong Soros.

  77. 77.

    A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

    June 22, 2023 at 10:46 pm

    Happy Birthday John!  And thanks for Balloon Juice, blogfather :-)

  78. 78.

    Lyrebird

    June 22, 2023 at 10:55 pm

    @J R in WV: Rooting for you through this rough time healthwise!

     

    And many happy returns JC!

  79. 79.

    SFBayAreaGal

    June 22, 2023 at 11:11 pm

    Happy birthday John. I hope your day was full of love, laughter and fun.

  80. 80.

    Zelma

    June 22, 2023 at 11:18 pm

    So young!  Happy birthday.  I have pictures of Bandit in costumes but no ability to post them.  That’s what comes of being really old.  Thank you for Balloon Juice.

  81. 81.

    MMM

    June 23, 2023 at 12:20 am

    Damn.  You’re old.   Rolly says come visit me again.  We’ll always have #1.

  82. 82.

    Paul in KY

    June 23, 2023 at 8:44 am

    Most Happy Birthday, John. Have mine coming up at end of month.

  83. 83.

    Manyakitty

    June 23, 2023 at 12:10 pm

    Happiest of birthdays to you! Hope it’s the best one yet!

  84. 84.

    Gregory

    June 24, 2023 at 8:25 am

    Happy birthday!

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