Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Donald Jessica Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

This fight is for everything.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / Wednesday Morning Open Thread: Groundhog Day, GOP Death Cult Version

Wednesday Morning Open Thread: Groundhog Day, GOP Death Cult Version

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Wednesday Morning Open Thread: Groundhog Day, GOP Death Cult Version

(Jeff Danziger via GoComics.com)

Given a choice of horrors, it is currently being reported that the Repubs ended up going for the most horrible they could find. Mike Johnson is a hardcore bigot, misogynist racist — but ‘young’ and ‘personable’, and with a fairly short record in national politics. Of course, nothing in this Klown Klan Kavalcade is guaranteed until it happens, if then, and there’s absolutely nothing in Johnson’s past to convince the Democrats he’s worth voting for…

I still believe Elise ‘Lady MacBeth’ Stefanik has a trick or two stuffed down the front of her overtight jacket…

There’s even talk of bringing back Kevin McQarthy, in a ‘power sharing’ arrangement with Gym Jordan — a possibility probably heightened, per Murphy the Trickster God’s sense of humor, by the fact that they’ve finally taken Kev’s cherished Speaker plaque down…

Remember when we had real leadership, in the House?

Reader Interactions

62Comments

  2. 2.

    Jeffro

    Good morning!

    Note to House GOP: all I ask is that you keep making it VERY clear to America’s voters that trump has veto power over who you choose for Speaker.  We’ll consider it an in-kind gift to the Democratic Party.

  3. 3.

    Another Scott

    (Repost from downstairs.)

    Aaron Fritschner
    @Fritschner
    33m

    “So where’s the new speaker from?”
    “Louisiana.”
    “Nice, love New Orleans. Where’s the Majority Leader from?”
    “Also Louisiana.”
    “Oh, ok. And the whip?”
    “The guy with the title is from Minnesota, but to be honest the guy in leadership who really does the job is from, uh, Louisiana.”
    Oct 25, 2023 · 12:28 PM UTC

    :-/

    He says it looks like they might get it done this time.

    We’ll see!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  4. 4.

    Tony Jay

    At some point the Republicans are going to conclude that having a revolving Speakership where every member of their caucus gets to enjoy a few weeks hammertime should their name be drawn from the hat is a lot better than this neverending shitshow. Nothing ever has to get passed, but at least you’ll be able to tell your Media buddies you ‘democratised’ the House.

    FFS, you’re Republicans, just fiddle it so George Santos and Boom-Boom Boebert never get picked, ‘cos ‘optics’.

     

    @rikyrah:   And a very good morning to you

  6. 6.

    Ken

    Jim Jordan has been floated as … Speaker-Emeritus…. The main problem with that strategy is that none of those are real jobs.

    To get the pedantry off to an early start, I’ll also point out that you can’t be an emeritus without having had the job in the first place. Perhaps it indicates the caucus mood is “How can we miss you, Jim, when you won’t go away?”

  8. 8.

    MattF

    The MAGATs are trying very hard to get Jordan somewhere in the vicinity of the steering wheel. Trouble is, the car is already upside-down in the ditch.

    ETA: And ‘emeritus’ means ‘retired’. Honorably retired.

  10. 10.

    Tony Jay

    @MattF:

    In Mad Max: Fury Road, I seem to recall people being tied to the bonnet, which is pretty close to the steering wheel depending on what model of Klown Kar you’re talking about.

  11. 11.

    BellyCat

    Trump remotely nuking GOP candidates from schXitter is somewhere between chef’s kiss and prophetically disturbing.

    First the writer’s strike amid this madness and now Baud being permissibly MIA. The jokes (almost) write themselves—MOAR pithy pens are needed!

  12. 12.

    CaseyL

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    Or are they just trying to show that Pelosi isn’t so special?

    Betcha that’s it.  The GOP need to denigrate is never satisfied – and their audience of mouth-breathing nitwits loves it.

  13. 13.

    narya

    Nancy SMASH was on Chris Hayes last night, where she pointed out that she had a smaller margin of votes than the hapless Rs have. More like Nancy-bury-the-knife-to-the-hilt-and-TWIST, and I am here for it. She was measured and disappointed in you. Again, I am HERE for it. Plus I have to drown my sorrows at watching my Phillies circle the drain.

  14. 14.

    Tony Jay

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    It’s pretty out there, but I think we have to at least consider the possibility that they don’t actually know what ‘Emeritus’ means beyond “Like that, but better”.

  15. 15.

    Ken

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: I would lean toward ignorance, rather than any particular anti-Pelosi sentiment, for their mis-use of emeritus — though it is likely that the only reason some of them had heard of the title was its use with Pelosi.

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    Been a while since had a Maui fire aftermath update.

    Mayors from Kauaʻi, Oʻahu and Hawaiʻi Island visited Front Street, Lahaina Harbor and a re-entry zone together for the first time on Monday. The site visit comes 11 weeks after the August 2023 Lahaina wildfire that claimed the lives of at least 99 people.
    [snip}
    “It’s hard to find the words that will express what my heart is feeling being here today,” said Kauaʻi County Mayor Derek Kawakami. “All I can think about is I was 15 years old when Hurricane Iniki hit. At that time I thought that Kauaʻi was going to be destroyed forever. I guess my message is to our young people and our people of Maui that this is not the end of it—that all of us here from every island is here to support Maui and that West Maui is not in it alone. We will be here for you folks until as long as we need to be here.” Source

    Maui voters impacted by the August 2023 wildfires are urged to check and update their voter registration ahead of the 2024 Elections.

    Election officials want to remind voters that ballots are sent to their mailing address associated with their voter registration, so checking that their mailing address is current will ensure that their 2024 Primary and General Election ballots are successfully delivered.

    “We understand that this is a difficult time for the impacted communities, but we want to ensure that they can still exercise their right to vote by reminding voters to keep their voter registration up to date,” said Chief Election Officer Scott Nago.Source

    Two-year and four-year scholarships to the University of Hawaiʻi are now available to Lahainaluna High School seniors, thanks to a generous philanthropist. UH President David Lassner shared the news with LHS seniors at a Sept. 18 class assembly that UH would provide a full scholarship for one year to any of the 10 UH campuses. Those scholarships, covering tuition, fees and supplies, would be for the 2024–25 academic year, and Lassner promised that UH would work to extend the scholarship beyond one year.

    Now a donor, who wishes to remain anonymous, has agreed to fund the scholarship extensions to two years for any UH community college or four years for any UH university. Lassner provided the update at the October 19 Board of Regents (BOR) meeting. Source

  22. 22.

    MazeDancer

    Some of you may have gotten a GoFundMe update from Latime, the artist we raised money for a while back.

    Update said Larime was in ire straits. Sylv, Larime’s partner, had gone to the ER, they kept Sylv at the hospital, and, being quadriplegic, Larime had no way to survive and no money for an aide.

    Larime tweeted, in the night, that Sylv died.

    Have no idea what Larime will do. The GFM was closed. Someone nicely provided Larime’s paypal:/Zelle: [email protected]

  23. 23.

    NotMax

    Back on Prime (via Freevee), 8 seasons of The Royal.

    Gently addictive British hospital-based series set in the 1960s. The inclusion of period music a plus.

  24. 24.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    @narya: Sorry about the Phillies. Given that the World Series is Arizona versus Texas, I’m rooting for the asteroid. And yes, Nancy SMASH pretty much proved that it isn’t the size of your majority, it’s the way you handle it.

  25. 25.

    sdhays

    @Tony Jay: But this will never work, because agreeing to this would mean acknowledging others in your conference have some legitimate say in what the caucus does as a group. They have a faction which will not acknowledge that, and that’s why they are where they are.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    GOP Death Cult Version

    With due apologies to Roger Miller, it’s a contest for King of the Choad.

  29. 29.

    Dangerman

    @Bruce K in ATH-GR: … it’s the way you handle it.

    They are handling it just fine although they are all going to go blind.

  32. 32.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    @Dangerman: I dunno, from where I’m standing, it seems like the way they’re handling their majority is generating a lot of noise and pretty much no movement.

  33. 33.

    BlueGuitarist

    Looking at Mike Johnson’s record:

    We’ll see if voting to overturn the 2020 election still matters to Ken Buck.

    Anti-abortion extremist also voted

    against “protecting the right to access and use contraceptives.”

    against “Protecting pregnant employees from workplace discrimination” Democrats 216-0 Republicans 99-101

    against “Expanding workplace requirements for breastfeeding accommodations” D 217-0; R 59-149

    against “Reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act” D 215-0, R 29-172.

    against “Requiring background checks for all gun sales.”

    And so on.

    More details for votes 2021-2022 at https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/biden-congress-votes/mike-johnson/

    Also Mike Johnson doesn’t just badger people about “a woman who is just seconds away from birthing a healthy child [having] an abortion,: he asserts that “it happens”

    https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a40038979/mike-johnson-abortion-seconds-away-from-birth/

    pathetic.

  35. 35.

    matt

    Where the Republicans went wrong is they changed office assignments first without electing a Speaker, leaving nothing for the new Speaker to reward anyone with.

  36. 36.

    Scout211

    “We’re not doing any policy tonight,” Johnson said

    LOL. So it really is just a beauty pageant.  Johnson does look awfully dreamy in his glasses and oh-so-perfectly styled hair.  But can he dance or sing?

  37. 37.

    hells littlest angel

    @Ken: Republicans verified that “emeritus is a real word in the dictionary, but didn’t have time to read the definition because they’re too busy serving America.

     

    Anyway, the obvious title for Jordan is Assistant Coach, a job he has already shown himself to be grossly unqualified for.

  41. 41.

    Scout211

    Johnson has earned TFIG’s seal of approval.  That could might probably won’t change things.

    Link“My strong SUGGESTION is to go with the leading candidate, Mike Johnson, & GET IT DONE, FAST! LOVE, DJT,” Trump posted on Truth Social. 

  42. 42.

    kindness

    Too many Republicans have come to see that they only wield true power under chaos.  And I’m not just talking about Congresspersons.

  43. 43.

    Frankensteinbeck

    Sounds like they may have found someone no one in their caucus personally hates, and they’re all so sick of this that’s all they care about.  Or those 22 could have skipped because they had no plans for ever voting for Johnson under any circumstances so why waste their time?  We’ll see.

    @Scout211:

    If Johnson wins, Trump will claim it was because he said so.  If Johnson loses, Trump will memory hole it.  The man is so pathetically desperate to think he’s in charge.  It’s gotten sad.  His pet Jordan couldn’t win with no opposition.

  45. 45.

    satby

    @MazeDancer: That’s terrible. And though a fundraiser might help, what he really needs us social services stat. Most states subsidize for home health aides for the poor.

    Edit: I’m honestly surprised the hospital hasn’t already contacted social service on his behalf, knowing Sylvie’s partner is a quadraplegic living alone.

  46. 46.

    Ken

    @Frankensteinbeck: Or those 22 could have skipped because they had no plans for ever voting for Johnson under any circumstances so why waste their time?

    Maybe they’ll skip again today.

    Not that I’d really want to see Jeffries as Speaker under these circumstances.

  48. 48.

    MazeDancer

    Racist, homophobic, misogynist Election Denier, who wants to end Medicare and Social Security, who is a nice,polite white guy – How could the GOP turn him down?

    Even Mike Lawler, one of the NY reps from upstate NY, is voting for him,

  49. 49.

    oldster

    I love clips of Hakeem Jeffries. He is so good at crafting his points and delivering them: short, clear, and reasonable. Fabulous communicator.

  50. 50.

    Tony Jay

    @sdhays:

    They do have that faction, but that’s the beauty of it. No Speaker sits for longer than a month, and once you’ve been Speaker, you can’t be Speaker again. So each month the odds of one of the twisted firestarters getting their hands on the gavel increases. They’d be the ones deciding which pieces of bonkers legislation come up for votes, with the ensuing major discomfort for their less overtly extreme colleagues who have to choose between pleasing the lunatic base and risking a Primary challenge.

    Of course, there’s the argument that the MAGAts are getting what they want with the House not functioning, so why would they change that? Which is fair enough up to a point. But every day this Lolatdaloozer festival continues, and especially when it gets within sniffing distance of a funding default, the pressure on a handful of had-enough GOPshites to just NFLTG and be somewhere else while the Democrats elect a Speaker and pass rules rescuing the GOP from Qevin’s folly increases.

    At least with Swingers Rules, they’d avoid that, and their pals in the Media would love the drama.

  51. 51.

    Ha Nguyen

    @satby:

    In his update about Siv’s death, he wrote that his state considered his GoFundMe as income and as such he makes too much to qualify for aid.

  52. 52.

    MazeDancer

    @satby: Larime seems to resist gov support as outlined in the new GFM.  Says the GFM money gets treated as income, so they don’t qualify.

    Hope they investigate that avenue again. In NY, there are lots of programs. Do not know about NV.

    The dogs are not going to be able to survive, much less Larime.

    As Zhena notes, we cannot solve Larime’s situation from afar. Needs qualified, local help. And pushing can down road with GFMs is not a good solution. Needed now. But something long-term required.

  53. 53.

    Bokonon

    I love that Mike Johnson managed to take abortion restrictions and turn it into a tax cut bonanza.

    In other words … “Hey, let us do what we want on banning abortion and contraception, and look at the low, low taxes that you will get in return!!”

    Gawd damn.  The GOP is amazingly consistent on cramming the same policies through (and seeking public-facing justifications), but this is a level of crass viciousness that truly goes beyond.

  56. 56.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @narya: …I have to drown my sorrows at watching my Phillies circle the drain.

    This Orioles fan consoles you that it hurts a lot less a couple of weeks out. But it still hurts. (Especially when one’s baseball-ignorant cash-addicted “local owner” is liable at any moment to hike ticket prices, fire anyone in the front office who knows what he’s doing [sayonara, Mark Elias] and replace them with cheap underlings who’ll mostly be worth some of what they’re paid, sell off the rising young stars for a gaggle of cheap prospects so he can stretch cheap rookie contracts into the distant future, renege on the “understanding” re a long-term lease at Oriole Park, and move the team to Tennessee or NC. :^( But I gather you’re not in those dyer straights…yet… )

  57. 57.

    catclub

    @Uncle Cosmo: and replace them with cheap underlings who’ll mostly be worth some of what they’re paid, sell off the rising young stars for a gaggle of cheap prospects so he can stretch cheap rookie contracts into the distant future, renege on the “understanding” re a long-term lease at Oriole Park, and move the team to Tennessee or NC

     

    So how long and how many times will you not learn that professional sports are a business?  And the owners run them to maximize profits. NOT to maximize winning. Not to maximize a happy fan base.

  60. 60.

    Dan B

    @MazeDancer: The homophobia of Mike Johnson is absolute.  He has worked to end gay marriage, civil rights, adoption, and more.  He’d probably resurrect furing squads so he wouldn’t have to think non-stop about gays having sex.

  61. 61.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @catclub: ​So how long and how many times will you not learn that professional sports are a business?

    Teach your grandma to suck eggs. Baltimoreans have had a graduate-level course in the subject as out-of-town owners have toyed with moving the home-town teams for the last two generations – and took the storied Baltimore Colts to Indianapolis in 1984. Long story which I could recount from memory but won’t bother, since you seem to know everything.

    And the owners run them to maximize profits. NOT to maximize winning. Not to maximize a happy fan base.

    FTR a good owner will organize operations to make a very fine profit while still fielding a competitive team precisely because happy fans are profitable. That usually begins when the owner realizes that however successful s/he’s been in amassing the $$$ to buy the team, s/he doesn’t know squat about the sport, and hires people who do while backing away from the limelight. (Took Yankees’ owner George Steinbrenner years to understand that. Took Peter G. Angelos, titular owner of the Orioles now in his 95th year, a bit longer – it seemed that any O’s official who started to get too much credit for the team’s success or resurgence, i.e., more credit than the owner, would soon be gone.

    (Unlike many in town, I don’t hate PGA – I think he’s always been a solid “Baltimoron” and only wanted the best for the city – his tragic flaw was wanting the credit. I wonder about his son John, who seems to be in line to take over the team when PGA departs this mortal coil. I recognize that bazillionaires are usually motivated by trying to make the next bazillion. [FTR da Birdz are currently valued at a bit over $1Bn, which sounds obscene til you do the math – it’s about 8% yearly appreciation since Angelos bought the team, which is substantial but not especially predatory.])

    Also FTR our football Ravens have an excellent owner, local guy Steve Bisciotti, who sets the tone of the franchise and stays involved but puts competent people in place to run things. (Figures – he made his bazillions in technical staffing.) “The Biscuit” has even backed off concession prices at M&T Bank Stadium to make gameday less pricey for fans. But that’s not all that much of a concession because most of NFL teams’ revenues come from equitable division of the national TV contracts (originally negotiated by the much-maligned former Ravens owner Art Modell). MLB teams make most of their $$$ through tickets, fan stuff, and local broadcast arrangements, so there are haves and have-nots among the franchises.

    The Ravens seem to stay in the Super Bowl conversation consistently, we just would like to see the Orioles manage the same. IMO most of us in “Charm City” would be happy if the O’s sign the 30-year lease for Oriole Park that’s in the works, keep good staff (and reward them appropriately) and retain the core of this very young roster. We’re apprehensive because one way to squeeze more $$$ out of the franchise is to trade off the rising young stars for more prospects before their rookie contracts expire and not invest in the handful of marquee free-agents that would keep the team competitive.

    But as you note, it’s not our team. As the late Bob Irsay (much-despised-in-Baltimore Colts owner) said to Indianapolis when he moved his team there, “It’s not your team, it’s my team and my family’s team.” So I guess we’ll see.

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