Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The willow is too close to the house.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

Not all heroes wear capes.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Nothing worth doing is easy.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Nikki Haley, who can’t acknowledge ‘slavery’, is a pathetic shill.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

No Justins, No Peace

Shut up, hissy kitty!

The revolution will be supervised.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Now THIS Is A Headline

Now THIS Is A Headline

by | 95 Comments

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I know John’s post below covers the actual news about George Santos, but I think it’s important that we all savor the fine details of this story as made to shine in this instant classic from the Financial Times:

Now THIS Is A Headline

Tell me again about how the GOP is the party of authenticity and family values.

Let this be a late afternoon open thread. Because I am a kind person (narrator: assumption not in evidence) I will leave you not with any of the brain-bleachable moments induced by that magnificent hed, but with a cat picture or two:

Now THIS Is A Headline 1

Now THIS Is A Headline 3

With that, this thread is as open as Tikka’s yawping gob.

Image: Jean Siméon Chardin, Still life with cat and rayfish, c. 1728

Reader Interactions

95Comments

  3. 3.

    Baud

    For those who care about such things, Apple, under pressure from the EU, is making iMessage compatible with RCS, which should make messaging with Android phones more seamless, especially for photos and video.

  4. 4.

    Ruckus

    @Baud:

    Are you sure he actually wasted it?

    I mean sure if all he did was to put it in a sock under his pillow or some such place…. Because he seems like the type to believe every last cent that crossed his palm or darkened his account was his to do with as he damn well pleased, no matter how he “earned it”.

    Should have known – I’m never first.

  8. 8.

    SiubhanDuinne

     

    Open thread? I am feeling mightily relieved, as I’ve found someone who will foster my three formerly-feral-but-increasingly-domesticated cats* while my living situation is in transition. I’ve been worried sick about what to do with them, but they will be safe and comfortable as barn cats keeping a 39-year-old (!) horse company, and I can visit them whenever I wish until they come home with me.

    *They were a surprise to me, some months after I moved in. They live under the deck, and they were incredibly shy and skittish at first, but I feed them every day so now they 💕LOVE💕 me! There’s a raggedy old chewed-up guy with a sweet personality called Greymalkin (Boopy for short); a sleek black kitty whose appetite knows no bounds, named Hoover; and the summer’s biggest surprise, Hoover’s Kitten (until the day I saw her nursing the kitten, I thought Hoover was a tom), a little b/w comedian who dashes around all the time in a crazed fashion and whose name is Roomba.

  9. 9.

    Joe Falco

    Alternate Headline: “Congressman supported American Entrepreneurs”*

    * assuming the OnlyFans performers are within the US

  11. 11.

    Scout211

    When the ethics report was released, the committee declined to make a recommendation for any kind of punishment.  They said that the members could decide for themselves. I thought that was odd.  I posted that yesterday with a question of what a GOP House member has to be guilty of to get any kind of punishment.  Decide for themselves? WTF?

    The reporting today though, is about a “growing number” of members who want another vote to expel. We’ll see how that goes.

  14. 14.

    trollhattan

    Sensing a pattern here.

    The prison inmate who attacked Paul Flores, convicted killer of Kristin Smart, was serving a life term for murdering another notorious inmate in 2021, the serial killer known as the “I-5 Strangler,” the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation told The Tribune. The attack left Flores with a neck injury that sent him to the hospital for two days. On Aug. 23 at around 10 a.m. in the Pleasant Valley State Prison yard, agency said, staff saw Flores fall to the ground between the recreational yard and the medical clinic. Staff immediately ordered everyone “to get down,” and medical staff immediately responded. At the time, Harold Mesick, Flores’ lawyer, told The Tribune that Flores had been stabbed in the side of the neck.

    Jason Budrow, 43, was found nearby with a “manufactured weapon,” the corrections department said. He is suspected of the attempted murder of Flores. Budrow is serving two life sentences without the possibility of parole for two separate murders, the first that sent him to prison 12 years ago and the second once he was already behind bars.

    The first murder conviction was in 2011, and was his second strike under California’s Three Strikes law. He was convicted of strangling and murdering his girlfriend at the time in Riverside County. About a decade later in March 2021, CDCR said, Budrow strangled and killed Roger Reece Kibbe, a fellow inmate at Mule Creek State Prison. Kibbe was known as the serial rapist and killer who was dubbed the “I-5 Strangler.”

    He was serving six consecutive life-without-parole sentences for six counts of first-degree murder, on top of an earlier life-with-parole murder sentence.

    https://www.sacbee.com/news/california/article281009418.html#storylink=cpy

    Am waiting for the PIC (prison industrial complex) to propose a for-profit prison for prisoners who need extra prisoning.

    “But, it will not hold George Santos!”

  18. 18.

    The Kropenhagen Interpretation

    @Baud: Botox and porn is a much more justifiable use for money than electing Republicans, this despite the fact that porn is free.

  19. 19.

    Wave Function Collapse

    Thank you for this post, and especially the pictures. Not having ever gone to Onlyfans myself, I was unsure what people were talking about when they referred to “pussy pictures on Onlyfans.”

    I now know that this simply means wholesome images of felines. Whew!

  22. 22.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @eclare:

    I have to be out of here by the end of the month, and so far I haven’t found an apartment I can afford, so I’m moving back to the Extended Stay where I lived throughout the worst of the pandemic. They know me, I know them, and it puts me back in the part of town I prefer to live in.

  23. 23.

    bbleh

    Tell me again about how the GOP is the party of authenticity and family values.

    Well, see, now this is exactly the kind of ee-leetist attitude that upsets so many Real Americans™!  And who believes all this stuff anyway?  It’s all a political witch-hunt just like the Demo-rats have been trying all these years against the Real President!  Mr. Santos has proclaimed his faith to the world, so he is Saved, and something something Redemption something Heavenly Justice something (which btw also applies to ME) so I don’t see why we can’t just move past all these so-called stories!  And if he’s so bad, what about Hunter BIDEN?!?!?!

  25. 25.

    Miss Bianca

    @SiubhanDuinne: Aww, I love their names. I wasn’t aware your living situation was “in transition” – nothing awful, I hope?

    ETA: Never mind, just saw your explanation.

  26. 26.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @WaterGirl:

    Well, I hadn’t originally planned to, but I hated to think of them having nobody here to feed them and put love on them.

    Yeah, I haven’t said anything much about the move because there’s a lot about the situation that still pisses me off and I’d just end up whining. But I’m more inclined now to dust off my inner Pangloss, so in the days to come I expect I’ll mention it more frequently.

  28. 28.

    Matt McIrvin

    Is that a skate hanging next to the kitty? Why is it not devoured?

    (Admittedly skate isn’t the greatest, we got it from Walden Local Meats once and it was mediocre

    (I guess the kitty is just beginning its thievery in this scene)

  29. 29.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Miss Bianca:

    Greymalkin is a big, gorgeous cat with lovely thick grey fur. His formal name, of course, is from the Scottish Play. His nickname comes from the fact that when he first started coming around here, he would hiss and snarl and give me the evil eye whenever I made the slightest move to pet him, but he adores booping his head against my fist, so that’s how we always greet each other. So he is Boopy, Boopers, Mister Boops, the Boopmeister, etc. Every cat person understands the naming conventions.

  33. 33.

    CarolPW

    The Office of Personnel Management has issued a rule to de-fang Trump’s Schedule F order that would increase politically-appointed positions in the Civil Service by 10-fold. It’s how the next Republican president could get more than 50,000 all Republican, nearly all white and Christian, and majority male idiots placed into civil service positions that need people in them that know what they are doing. Commenting on rules is like calling your Senator or Representative. The number who are on each side is more important than the elegance of the argument.

    A substack about the issue

    Doing something is always better than worrying, so here is an opportunity to do something with very little effort that could buffer the impact of the any future GOP president. The substack guy sent in a dissertation because it is in his area of expertise. We have people here who deal or have dealt with Civil Servants and can comment on the need for expertise in a couple of sentences. We have others here who could put in a few paragraphs, but what is most important is the number.

    The rule wouldn’t prevent Republicans from getting rid of it when they take power, but it would open up the job actions to litigation. It would at least slow the whole thing down and may minimize the impacts.

  36. 36.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Thanks for asking about the injury. Nobody would notice it now. There’s still a cut/small lump on the right eyebrow, but behind my HUGE GLASSES it’s not at all obvious, and it has healed, and doesn’t hurt, and didn’t affect my vision. I’m quite lucky — another half inch to the right and you might know me as Subaru Diane, the Monocular.

    Yes, moving again. Sigh (but also kind of exciting).

  37. 37.

    CaseyL

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m sorry your living situation is still in flux!  Extended Stays are odd sorts of places, designed as hybrid hotel room-apartment thingies.  I stayed at one briefly – the last night I was in Maine a few years ago – because it had an airport shuttle.

    It was disconcerting, because the place certainly looked like a hotel, but had no restaurant, cafe, or coffee shop (as nearly all hotels do) just some vending machines selling heat-and-eat instant meals… but my room had a full kitchen and roomy living area.

    Hope you don’t need to be there too long, and an acceptable/affordable place manifests soon!

  38. 38.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @eclare:

    No, I’m leaving SM. I never really learned my way around or felt especially at home here. My preferred hood is Alpharetta/John’s Creek/Duluth area. But I’m trying to keep an open mind in case something wonderful elsewhere turns up.

  43. 43.

    Alison Rose

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Subaru Diane, the Monocular

    That sounds like it came from one of those name creation memes. “Your comic book name is the make of your first car + the first name of a news anchor + a word to describe a food company mascot.”

  44. 44.

    Betty Cracker

    Yesterday it was rainy, and I read a weather forecast that predicted flooding rains in South Florida and dry conditions in my area as a system pulled offshore to the east. Well, it started raining this morning and hasn’t stopped! Our little boat is full of water (but pulled onto shore enough that it won’t sink).

    I’m not complaining; we desperately needed the rain. While South FL has had a 100-year flood this year (better rename those), we’ve been in a drought.

    Days-long rain events are tough on the dogs though. I hope nobody decides to crap in the house!

  47. 47.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Old School:

    There are three: Greymalkin (Boops), Hoover, and Roomba. Sorry for the confusion; in common with most cats, they all have several names.

    :-)

  48. 48.

    Josie

    @SiubhanDuinne: ​
     Well, really, if you can’t whine to us, who can you whine to? As one who is attempting to live on teacher retirement, I can completely sympathize.

  50. 50.

    Mr. Bemused Senior

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
    The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
    His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
    Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
    His ineffable effable
    Effanineffable
    Deep and inscrutable singular
    Name.

  52. 52.

    TriassicSands

    Two cats? I don’t see any “cats.” I see two superior beings from outer space hanging out plotting to take control of the planet. We’re lucky if they have to wait to evolve opposable thumbs, otherwise the coup could come in a couple of decades.

    Yesterday, a friend who is the executive director at the no-kill cat shelter that I’ve been volunteering at for some years, sent me a cat video (Gee, who knew such a thing existed.) to cheer me up. The one she sent — an ET (alias “cat”) was in the throes of “cat madness.” But the better and funnier video was of a cat and a fox on opposite sides of a tree, which was large enough in diameter that if both sat up straight they couldn’t see each other. The fox was really curious about the ET and kept circling the tree (not aggressively) first in one direction, then the other. When its face got close enough, the ET, who was sitting calmly in place, would lift the left or right paw (depending on which way the fox circled) and smack the fox in the face. The fox would jump back. Turn around and circle  around the other side of the tree — smack. In happened quite a few times and despite the ET being cruel to the fox (they’re known for that), i found it really funny. I felt sorry for the fox, who might have just been looking for a friend.

    That video followed the one I was sent, but now I can’t find it again — searching has turned up nothing. I assume the ETs have erased the video from the Internet, since it might slow their path to domination.

  60. 60.

    Mr. Bemused Senior

    This one is too good not to share: From TPM
    “We Talked To George Santos’ ‘Botox’ Doctor And Got Skincare Advice For The Scandal Spotlight”

  65. 65.

    Hoodie

    @Baud: Yeah, kind of hard to believe that the Bay Area can’t support two teams, no doubt the owner disinvested in the team  to enhance the probability of getting approval for the move to Vegas, where I’m sure he’s getting all sorts of freebies from the city, county and/or state.  Climate sucks for baseball in Vegas, they’ll just be inside like everything else there.

  66. 66.

    MomSense

    Well I drove by one possible house.  It’s walking distance to new office and has a terrific yard.  There appears to be a trumper two houses down.  There are a lot more of them north and west of 95.

  73. 73.

    Shalimar

    Are we sure there isn’t a male prostitute who goes by the name “Botox” and has an OnlyFans account?  It is possible both of these are the same kink.

  74. 74.

    trollhattan

    @Baud: Baseball and Vegas go together like dancing and howitzers.

    OTOH thought we were finally rid of the Raiders but still get them as our regional broadcast game. WTAF?

  78. 78.

    Scout211

    Another conviction in the J6 insurrection today.  Link

    WASHINGTON — A man who claimed to be a journalist and supporter of the Black Lives Matter movement was convicted Thursday on all charges against him in connection with the Jan. 6,2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol.

    John Earle Sullivan, a 29-year-old from Utah also known as “Jayden X,” was convicted of seven counts after just a few hours of deliberation by the jury. Federal prosecutors requested that Sullivan be taken into custody until his sentencing, and U.S. District Judge Royce C. Lamberth ordered him remanded, according to court records.

    The charges included felony obstruction of an official proceeding and civil disorder.

    Sullivan shot one of the most infamous videos of Jan. 6, showing the shooting death of Ashli Babbitt, and sold the rights to several media outlets, including NBC News.

    “I was only observing,” Sullivan said in his trial testimony. “I followed the crowd. I’m there to document.”

    But the government said that shooting video was just a “ploy” for Sullivan, and played video after video of him urging on the mob on Jan. 6.

     

  80. 80.

    Kay

    podsaveamerica
    The Heritage Foundation is urging all Republican candidates for president to unilaterally ban mailing abortion medication. Trump has been vague about this, but congressional Republicans seem to be fans.

    Good. This is a great issue for us. The medication abortion folks are have not been that politically active but if conservatives intrude into this too, they’ll get in. The appeal of medication abortion to women is privacy and agency – control. They’re the absolute worst people to piss off – they really, really just want to be left alone.

  83. 83.

    prostratedragon

    @Scout211:
    From earlier in that trial:

    A jury will now decide whether John Earle Sullivan was a journalist or a chaos agent when he entered the U.S. Capitol as part of a riotous mob.

    He took the stand today to explain why, for example, he shouted, “We’re about to burn this s*** down!”

    We seem to be entering the desert-dry wit phase of things.😑

  84. 84.

    There go two miscreants

    @Kay: …unilaterally ban mailing abortion medication.

    I would like to see the Dems, assuming we gain enough control, make a concerted effort to repeal antiquated laws like the Comstock Act (which likely would be the basis for such a ban). It has become damned clear, if it wasn’t before, that even though court rulings have overturned such laws, we can no longer depend on the older rulings remaining in force. Those absurd older laws need to be rooted out and explicitly repealed.

  86. 86.

    MomSense

    @schrodingers_cat:

    The best cat I ever had, my soulmate kitty, was a feral.  She was incredible.  I named her Agrippina after the founder of Russian Ballet.  She could do things that defied gravity.

  87. 87.

    wjca

    @Baud: Sorry, Oakland. You deserve better.

    To be fair, so does Las Vegas.  They are going to end up laying out a whole lot of taxpayer money so that an already rich assh*le can get richer.

  89. 89.

    wjca

    @Alison Rose: We used to do great at supporting both teams. Alas, things have taken a dive for the As. It makes me kind of sad to see the crowds (“crowds”) at games now.

    Well, by now it’s a AAA team masquerading as a major league franchise.  Thanks to the owner trading away the best players every year.  (And at fire sale prices.)  We’ll see who he trades away this off season.

  93. 93.

    wjca

    @StringOnAStick: I added my comment. It will help the crazy R’s find me quicker for the detention camps.

    On the other hand, it’s not like my contempt for them is a secret. And anything that will help offset the RWNJs’ comments extolling the (non-existent) merits of TIFG’s Schedule F is worth doing.

  94. 94.

    tommyspoon

    Look, it’s only two out of the seven deadly sins: lust and vanity.

    Doesn’t seem that bad, if you think about it.

    (Stagehand whispers in tommyspoon’s ear.)

    Oh, and greed. I guess that makes three.

    Still not even half! What’s the problem?

    #sarcasm

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