Rather than counting sheep so everyone who wants to can fall asleep, I’ll start you off with another question, which you can absolutely ignore and instead talk about whatever you please.
What was the worst haircut you ever had? Alternatively, you could tell us the worst hairstyle you ever wore. Surely there are some mullets out there, right?
And some bonus late-night Henry. Before and after a haircut.
Before.
After.
Open thread.
War for Ukraine Day 631: What Ukrainian Air Defense Doing?
Manyakitty
Henry is so dapper 😍
How was the zoom call?
Once, in the late 1980s, I dreamed I had short, red, asymmetrical hair and went and made that happen. Twas… unfortunate.
prostratedragon
Henry!
karen marie
I’ve had a number of bad haircuts but the worst had to be the one where the stylist used blunt scissors. She yanked clumps of hair, hit them with the edge of the blunt scissors, and when my scalp was completely tortured from the yanking and ripping, she bleached and toned my hair. The bleach burned my damaged scalp, and I had scabs all over my head for a week.
Once my scalp healed, I was still left with an atrociously ugly haircut.
It cost me $100, and that was in the late ’80s. Infuriating.
Steeplejack
My brother and I have a running joke. What’s the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut? Two weeks.
Although I’ve had a few that seemed more like four weeks. I feel like my haircut needs are modest—“short but not military short”—but sometimes the barber goes a little too short on the sides in relation to the top. I don’t know if that’s the military influence here in NoVA or my possible resting Trump-voter face, but I have to watch out for it.
Hmm, I’m due for a haircut about now.
John Revolta
Henry #1 has Muppet feet. I assume Henry #2 doesn’t, which, though I suppose they had to go, I’m kinda glad I can’t see ’em.
Redshift
Henry has ears! Who knew!
Martin
Somewhere in middle school went to get a haircut – first available barber and I get in the chair and one of the other barbers comes into the shop and they start talking and the guy cutting my hair is telling this story, getting angrier and angrier – as in like physically violently angry – as he’s cutting my hair. Needless to say, he completely butchered it – way shorter than I wanted. My cowlicks looked terrible.
Lesson – don’t accept services from angry people.
Redshift
@Steeplejack: My haircut needs are very modest. Once or twice a year, “leave it long enough I can still put it in a ponytail.” 🙂
Though the two weeks time still applies sometimes – it gets cut a little too short and has annoying stray bits until it grows out
sab
Human here. Just had a great hair cut. My dog is a pitbull and she has not much hair. My late lamented german shepherd cranked out amazing amounts of hair/fur. Squirrels facing winter stood in line for her fur. Pitbull not so much. My pitbull has to wear a winter coat.
Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit
The mullet happened when I was on vacationing in Virginia Beach. A bad hair day coincided with a rainy day and I filled the time by getting one of the worst haircuts ever, done by the cockiest stylist I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. The sides were so short they stuck straight out and this was before we had product strong enough to hold them down. I actually cried. Turned out to be the highlight of that particular vacation, but that’s a whole other story.
Then there’s all the haircuts my mother gave me. Tough call.
Alison Rose
This would have to be in the running. I’m not sure what my mom told the barber for me to end up with this shape, but at least I was only 6 and it was the mid 80s when almost everyone’s hair looked awful in various ways.
Hungry Joe
At my high school — beach town, Southern California — seniors would hunt down incoming freshmen on the first day of summer and shave their heads. Usually into some hideous design, with orders to keep it that way for at least a week. I was at home, alone, when four guys armed with electric clippers burst in. I got a simple Mohawk because they were friends of my older brother. For the sake of one’s health it was advised to take it all in good spirits, which I managed to fake. Girls went after girls, rubbing peanut butter or maybe even bubble gum into their hair.
Cops did nothing, as this was considered harmless fun. The tradition stopped not long after my experience because by then guys had long hair and NO WAY were they giving it up without a fight. After my hair grew back I kept it long-to-longish for four decades, till Male Pattern Baldness took over the field and I countered by shaving my head … which turned out to be enormously liberating. Free at last!
Steeplejack
Lawrence O’Donnell is a fellow Perry Mason fan! (Watching the rerun of his show on MSNBC.) He’s discussing the fine points of “why no juries?” It was to save TV production time and money, but the excuse was always “It’s a preliminary hearing.” (There were a few episodes with juries.)
Apparently Trump is demanding some sort of Perry Mason maneuver in one of his trials.
Steeplejack
@sab:
“Squirrels facing winter stood in line for her fur.” 😹
MobiusKlein
Bowl haircut from mom in the 1970s.
But I just hated haircuts regardless, so there is that.
One time, I gave myself a haircut while backpacking in Hawaii with my pocketknife scissors. Came out better than you might expect.
JustRuss
I just don’t see Henry needing a cut. but if it makes him happy, OK. One of my worst cuts was just prior to my senior picture, 1979. Use your imagination, still haunts me.
prostratedragon
@Steeplejack: Saw that. One result is that the camera placement makes the viewer see roughly what a jury would see most of the time.
eclare
Yay! Henry has ears!
Brachiator
I had one haircut that was not too bad, but was not what I wanted. I used to get my hair cut very short at the start of tax season. But this barber, not my regular, insisted on cutting it to her preference, not as close as I wanted.
I wasn’t in the mood for confrontation, and decided it was close enough and let it go.
Had the barber again on another occasion and made it clear before we started that I wanted it cut very close.
ETA. All other things being equal, I prefer lady barbers. I am more at ease when the professional working close to my body is a woman. And it probably reminds me a bit of when I was a kid and my mother was taking care of me.
Tony Jay
Kid bowl haircuts, obviously, but I was an angelic cherub at the time so I got away with it.
In University I grew it longer and had a bit of a beard going on, but combined with he effects of the odd self-administered trim and lazy brushing there are photographs of me looking like a winsome Bee Gee who has stumbled into teaching geography.
patrick II
@Steeplejack:
Trump is probably still referring to the Michael Cohen testimony when Cohen acknowledged he had lied during his testimony to Congress (at Trump’s behest).
Trump believed that Cohen’s “Perry Mason moment” would cause the judge to dismiss the case. He pounded the table and walked out when it didn’t and has been complaining ever since. Trump’s entire world’s view is television shows, except for the one book he read — Hitler’s speeches.
FastEdD
Las Vegas Formula One practice turned into a clusterfuck. They ran less than 10 minutes and the track tore holes in the floors of the cars, causing massive damage. Good going you guys!
Steeplejack
@patrick II:
Good point. I went to get a beer when O’Donnell got to the end of his Perry Mason digression, so I didn’t see how he tied it in.
Montanareddog
When I was a wee ‘un in the late 60s, my brother and I would be sent to stay with our maternal grandparents during school holidays. My parents were really hard up at the time and my mother reminisces how it was a conscious trade off on her part: Granddad, who was a retired career NCO, would send us back with a pair of good quality new shoes, but with 1950s military haircuts.
Dog Mom
Gave myself hair cuts during the pandemic – 1st cut was okay, 2nd was a disaster – couldn’t figure out where I went wrong.
opiejeanne
I went to a salon in the 70s when my hair was long, halfway down my back, and asked for a pageboy. The barber cut off all of my hair except for about 2 inches, all over my head. I wasn’t facing a mirror but I started getting worried when I saw how much of my hair was on the floor, and about the time that he was finished, his partner came back from lunch and asked why I looked upset. I said, “this isn’t a page boy”. It was something called a Roman boy, I was an adult but I went home crying and that haircut took a couple of months to grow out.
The other bad haircut was done by a woman about 20 years ago who left me with only half an inch of hair. It was supposed to be a wedge haircut.
I need to find a place to get a haircut, since I’m not going back to the woman who knows how to cuty my hair. Not giving money to someone who voted for Trump twice and will do it again.
Geminid
@sab: Your pit bull reminds me of that “Cacti” person who got banned a few weeks ago. He always talked tough but I heard his needles were so soft, roadrunners stole them to line their nests..
Ruckus
@Hungry Joe:
I’m up in my seventh decade so the hair on my head has all fallen down to my face. Of course it started the day after I was given a reprieve from the military. I used to have it long, but the stuff on the noggin deserted a while back. Quite a while actually. Aww the fun of getting old. Which is of course better than not getting there.
JWR
Jonathan Karl with another “scoop” that might still be of use to Jack Smith. Karl is on with Stephen Colbert tonight and I hope he’s asked about any other juicy bits he’s got hidden away.
Chris T.
Not so much a hair cut per se, but when I was much younger, I rode in a convertible MGB* with the top down, and at the end of the day my hair was basically just one big knot. (I don’t think all the knots got out until several haircuts later.)
*As anyone who knows MGs would expect, we had a breakdown. Just one though. The car needed that bumper sticker, “all the parts falling off this car are of the finest British manufacture”…
Martin
@FastEdD: Plus, tickets for the race were stupid expensive. Average grandstand price for a 3 day ticket was around $5K. And I’m going to guess they won’t give refunds, since they didn’t after the rained out Spa race.
Martin
@Dog Mom: Thankfully one of my staff used to be a hairdresser and she liked the opportunity to cut hair again so she’d come to the house and give us all cuts.
Ten Bears
The Army, haven’t cut it in fifty years …
Michael Bersin
It’s a look. Not mine.
Right wingnut former local affiliate Faux News Channel morning happy talk newsreader:
What’s faith got to do with it?
A story about Harpo Marx, who dressed in a loud outfit – jacket and tie, slacks – in mismatched fabrics – on first meeting his future wife on a blind date: she opened the door and on seeing Harp Marx quipped, without missing a beat, “You can always tell a New Yorker by the cut of their clothes.”
Martin
@Martin: OMG, they didn’t cancel FP2 – they’re going to try and do it at 2:30AM. And there’s a practice/quali session for one of the support races at like 3:30AM?
What a colossally stupid idea this whole thing is.
AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team
My dalliance with mulletry was brief, but intoxicating.
Unrelated, but I defy anyone not to completely enjoy this absurd Irish artist’s video of making a literal rowboat in the shape of Jeff Bezos’s face. Warning: there is nekkid man-butt and salty language. You’re welcome.
Ms. Deranged in AZ
Henry is a cutie pie!
My worst haircut was in 1973–mom gave me a bowl cut. I didn’t care though because I was 3 years old and still thought the world was my oyster.
Chris T.
@AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team: That … was weird, hilarious, weirdly hilarious, and hilariously weird. And even educational, in a weird and hilarious way.
Rachel Bakes
About 3 years ago a different stylist convinced me to let them leave my hair longer on top, disregarding my coarse curls. The next day it looked like Ethel Merman from her later movies. Went and had that fixed 2 days later.
I am responsible for the worst haircuts my son gets regularly. With his sensory issues I have to negotiate for any time, usually shared clipper time, then 5-10 cuts/day with scissors (and no training). He can see and he’s not pulling his hair out anymore but I’d be lying if I said it looked good.
AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team
@Chris T.: I’m so glad you got to partake! It’s honestly like nothing I’ve seen before..talk about complete commitment to the artistic idea, holy cats :)
evodevo
@JWR: I can’t STAND to hear his voice…what did he say?
Rich2506
Apparently, Black people, at least in the Philadelphia region ( I have no idea how general this tradition is) , have a tradition of “Trust the Barber.” They turn you around to face the middle of the room and let you see the results when they’re finished. I had a haircut done by a Black barber and was satisfied with the cut. But a few years ago, a white barber tried the same thing and he decided to get all fancy and innovative and cut my hair into a triangle. I was about 60 at that point and while the style may have been appropriate when I was 40 or younger (and had much thicker hair), I’ve never been back to that barber since.
WaterGirl
@John Revolta: Henry’s muppet feet are definitely cuter than his regular feet.
WaterGirl
@Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit:
You definitely have to tell us that story sometime.
WaterGirl
@Tony Jay:
rotating tag!
WaterGirl
@opiejeanne: Maybe consider getting one last good haircut from the Trump lady and then walking into the salon of your choice and saying you’d like to show it to a stylist who would be good at that cut?
MelissaM
Late to the party, but as a freshman in college, I was rockin’ a perm (it was growing out and wasn’t super curly) on my short hair. I used to use tons of gel to sweep it from one side of my head to the other, and it also had that always looking wet thing going on. Enough that one of my profs came up and poked it to see if it would move and/or was wet. Good times, good times. Love to hate you, 1985!
stinger
Henry appears to have gotten a shave AND a haircut (six bits)!
Alison Rose, you look so cute in that photo, nothing wrong with the hair!
Sis
My worst was during the ’80s, when I learned the hard way not to just walk into a hairdresser’s and say, “I just want something different, but I don’t really know what. Whatever you do is fine with me.” The ensuing catastrophe was absolutely not her fault, because how could she know what I wanted? (In my defense, I was in my twenties and probably shouldn’t have been allowed out by myself.) I went from shoulder-length hair to an above-the-ears, anchorwoman-type style. On some people, it would definitely have worked – but not me. When I went to work the next day, co-workers literally had no idea what to say. It was that bad.
I had several truly terrible perms during that era, but they didn’t come close to that disaster.
Sis
I forgot to mention that Henry is stunningly handsome either way.
Mel
Henry is perfect! Every photo of him is a guaranteed joy.
Shana
@Hungry Joe: Shades of the hazing rituals from Dazed and Confused.