Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

So many bastards, so little time.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The arc of the moral universe doesn’t bend itself. it’s up to us.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

I’m just a talker, trying to find a channel!

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

“Let’s not pretend [Trump] wants to engage in high-minded discourse.”

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

You are here: Home / Elections 2024 / Late Night Open Thread: Republican Outreaching

Late Night Open Thread: Republican Outreaching

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57Comments

  4. 4.

    Jay

    Not just dunking, but hanging on the rim and putting up a show.

    And yet, AI is coming our jobs,…….

    I can see how a 3 armed guy might be  35% more effective, if they wern’t just virtual.

    Try picking that up Felon Musk.

    Sorry if it’s not clear, my neural link interface is still an alpha test.

  5. 5.

    Yutsano

    This is the best part: RUFFINI STILL WON’T TAKE IT DOWN!!! He just whined things were getting “out of hand” (no I’m not crediting the pun) and just lets his remaining credibility disappear. It’s both funny and sad but I’m all for it.

  7. 7.

    JWR

    Wow! Never mind politics, but can you imagine what you could do with three arms? Like, you could be flipping through the pages of your favorite “literary” periodical while your third arm could be, um, “busy” elsewhere. I’ll take one!

    And yes, I’ll probably regret this comment. ;(

  10. 10.

    Jay

    aaaaand nobody’s has riffed on “Republican Outreach”,

    You get a Bobert, you get a Bobert, everybody get’s a Bobert.

    Well, at least three of you,……………………..

  13. 13.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    It puts a different spin on the Republicans needing an extra hand in getting out the minority vote. Why bother actually doing anything to really get them to vote for you when you think they are stupid enough to fall for that picture. I think it’s like the typos in Nigerian scam letters and the like; only the rubes will fall for that picture.

    Smart people are voting Biden because his two hands get the job done.

  16. 16.

    Geoduck

    I read a sci-fi/horror story decades ago that always stuck with me, The Third Arm by (evidently) one Seven Otfinoski: A male high school student has an encounter with a UFO(?) which zaps him through  the chest with a strange beam. It doesn’t seem to do anything to him at first, but then he starts sprouting a third arm from where the beam hit him. It turns him into a gawked-at pariah, but the new appendage is fully functional, and makes him very good at fisticuffs when the inevitable bullying/mob mentality sets in. He considers having the arm surgically removed, but as the story ends, there are more and more reports of other people getting zapped, and he decides he doesn’t want to end up being the only two-armed freak around…

  21. 21.

    Ian R

    @JWR: As someone who walks with a cane, I really do wish for a functional third arm. Just dealing with doors whenever I’m carrying something pretty much requires that or juggling.

  23. 23.

    Mick McDick

    Once again, Democrats completely miss the point: why aren’t we going after the key demographic of three-armed voters? DAMNIT MAN!

  24. 24.

    OzarkHillbilly

    The 3 armed man is a human/motie hybrid. For those who are ScFi ignorant:

    Moties are described as bipeds, about 1.3 meters (4 ft 3 in) tall, covered with fur whose color depends on the subspecies. Their most obvious feature is the asymmetric arrangement of arms, with two dexterous right arms and one heavily muscled left arm whose musculature attaches to the head, so that Moties have no left ear to match the large, membrane-like right ear. The backbone is jointed rather than flexible and the entire upper body swivels to turn the head. The face is simple and incapable of expression. Gestures replace facial expression.

    From

  27. 27.

    Geminid

    Out of the hills of Habersham

    Down the valleys of Hall.

    I hurry amain to reach the plain….

    It’s Sidney Lanier’s birthday y’all.

  28. 28.

    Dangerman

    Seems to me 3 arms would be a safety improvement; one could express one’s feelings to other LA Drivers yet always keep two hands on the wheel.

  29. 29.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Baud: They have been  secretly breeding with humans for over a century. I had my 3rd arm removed when I was born. I didn’t know about it until I had an accident in ’85. The x-rays showed the double shoulder on the right. I think that’s why I have so much trouble with that shoulder… I mean shoulders.

    These days my gripping hand just ain’t what it used to be. Opening jars is damned near impossible now.

  31. 31.

    Evap

    @OzarkHillbilly: I have a nifty gadget for jar opening installed under a cabinet.  You slide the jar in with one hand and turn.  One of my hands cannot grip and I am able to open any jar that I could open when I had two good hands.

    Also, I have an electric can opener that I can use one-handed

  34. 34.

    Another Scott

    @OzarkHillbilly: For single use jars that are tight (like spaghetti sauce), I stab the lid to create a small hole to release the vacuum.  It make it much, much easier to open.

    Don’t use a good knife though, and be careful!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  35. 35.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @Baud: Sometimes I wish we had a prehensile tail.

    I would imagine having a tail would be like having a big dick – everyone constantly complaining about “Hey, you hit me with it!” or “will your get that out of my soup?”. Just not fun.

  36. 36.

    kalakal

    What’s most laughable about this is that it’s so obviously bad. I do quite a lot of AI generated imagery ( just for relaxation really) but the stuff I do sell on Redbubble gets examined very closely and  has several appointments with Photolab before being put up. Pathetic

  37. 37.

    Kristine

    @Another Scott: I insert the pointy end of a can/bottle opener under the rim of the lid and pry until I hear the pop and in-rush of air. Makes opening much easier and doesn’t wreck the lid. ( I know it’s not always possible because lid design).

    My undergrad research advisor showed me how to open balky jars by inserting them between the hinge side of the door and the jamb and carefully pulling the door closed until the lid was securely held. You had to be careful because it didn’t take much effort to crack the glass jar. But it worked in a pinch.

  40. 40.

    TerryC

    @Geoduck: In the science fiction stories about Gil the Arm, Gil has an invisible arm in the middle of his chest that he can do amazing things with like reach into someone’s chest with and squeeze their heart, etc.

  44. 44.

    TBone

    Thanks to last night’s OT I’m still stuck down a rabbit hole with Matty.  This dish reminds me of mole (molay! not tiny rodent) chicken which used to be breakfast food in Galveston in a little Mexican diner next to law office. Coming up for air soon.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QyCxOqsXgh4

    If you haven’t seen Matty in action, you’re missing out IMO.

  46. 46.

    different-church-lady

    Well, he’s not wrong: Republican victory in ’24 depends on ratfucking and deepfakes, so yeah, “doing this.”

  47. 47.

    different-church-lady

    @JWR:

    can you imagine what you could do with three arms?

    What am I going to do with my third thumb while I twiddle my other two thumbs?

  48. 48.

    Paul in KY

    @Yutsano: You’d think he or the AI that created it could photoshop the irregularities out when they are pointed out. Sad. Low energy AI stuff…

  52. 52.

    gene108

    Some people are born with multiple limbs beyond just two arms and two legs. Assuming a three armed man is AI generated is a bit presumptuous. Very ableist of the X bots checking if the picture is real or not.

    The give away though is the sweatshirt. Off the rack clothing doesn’t come with a third arm sleeve.

  53. 53.

    Ruckus

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    Had a neighbor who had an, shall we say, extra large appendage. His wife once told me that it would have been a lot better if he actually knew how to use it properly. That was shortly before she left him. The lesson? Proper usage of your appendages is far more appreciated than that they are oversized. It’s like the 50s-70s American cars. Big for the sake of being big, which of course made them worse in so many ways.

  56. 56.

    Another Scott

    @Ruckus: I vaguely remember a Shel Silverstein comic, called “The Weapon”, I think, that involved an Adam like character throwing his, er, appendage like a javelin to catch the Eve like character and the hijinks that ensued.

    It never shows up in a Google search.  (I saw it in a college bookstore in a collection of his work around 1980.)  Maybe my memory has jumbled the details…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

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