Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

The willow is too close to the house.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

When we show up, we win.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“But what about the lurkers?”

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

All hail the time of the bunny!

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "Stories from the Road" / Tuesday Night Open Thread

Tuesday Night Open Thread

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Currently have a chicken pot pie in the oven. Why am I eating a chicken pot pie on the warmest day in weeks? Because when I asked Bunny what she wanted for dinner, that’s what she said. It’s one of her shittiest weeks of the year with recruiting at ASU, so if she wants a chicken pot pie and a glass of wine or margarita, that’s what she’s getting.

I didn’t fuck around and make my own pie crusts. Too last minute and that’s work. I had a roaster chicken on hand, so I roasted that with just some salt and pepper and olive oil with a lemon and onion shoved up its arse. Cut up some carrots, celery, onions, and peas, browned that for a bit while making a roux, added the roux and some stock, a shot of white wine, some half and half because I had no heavy cream but damnit as I write this I remembered I have condensed milk in the cupboard. Spices were simple- sage, thyme, some turmeric, salt and pepper. Other than the roasting of the chicken, easy half hour prep if you don’t have to make your own pie crusts.

Pulled the rest of the meat off the carcass, threw it with the contents of the Tammy bag into a pot, and am making some more stock to make chicken tortilla soup to eat, freeze some, and for Joelle to take to work for her colleagues.

***

Just got up from putting another egg wash on the pot pie before it comes out, read what I had written, and realized I needed to explain some things. I dunno if I have mentioned it before, but Bunny is Joelle. One day I came down the stairs and she was all sprawled out on the couch like it was a chaisse lounge with a remote in one hand and a martini glass in the other and I just looked at her and said- “Who the fuck do you think you are, Bunny Lebowski?” And it stuck.

Oh and the “Tammy bag” is just my stock bag in the freezer- every time I cut up veg I throw the remnants in the bag and then pull it out when I make stock. Tammy was so insistent on this and would snatch things out of my hands if I walked to the composter and yell to put it in the bag, and we just started calling it the Tammy bag and that stuck too.

***

One of the weirder things about this place that every day I get at the very least one compliment about my striped overalls. “OMG I LOVE YOUR OVERALLS WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?” I’m usually taken aback by it because well, they’re overalls. Were I a more contemplative and reflective sort, I would start to wonder why it is predominantly females in the 20-30 age range who like them not because they make me look good or attractive or even desirable in an extreme scenario in which discretion and plausible deniability are paramount, but because they want a pair for themselves. At any rate, they are always a fan favorite with Trader Joe’s employees.

I’ve started to just match their energy at this point and when they are finishing the word overall I respond “I KNOW AND LOOK AT ALL THE POCKETS!” and start gesturing towards them all. It’s just easier that way and lets me move on quicker.

***

The reason I am wearing overalls is because in the chaos of leaving I left all my shorts at home, so when my one pair is in the wash, I got nothing but overalls. And I am not buying anymore shorts I have three pairs of perfectly good cargo shorts at home that I just bought a year or two ago.

In other words, the people of Tempe are getting blessed with the full John Cole. A surly looking behemoth with a gray beard, disheveled hair, overalls, a bright purple shirt, who walks like a cop but one who is prone to run into things. Joelle has convinced herself it’s a remarkable fashion statement, ala Andre Leon Talley, and I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m not sure if that is a compliment, accurate, or if both, definitely not what I was shooting for when I woke up. Regardless, she’s an unreliable source- I’ve seen how she looks at me with those googly lovey eyes giving off all that dog energy. Her judgment can’t be trusted at the fuck all.

Little do the people of Tempe know how easy they are getting off- at least I’m remembering to wear pants.

***

People of the southwest- I want to buy a smallish, portable (but not mini) native cactus to take back for Breyana. Any suggestions?

Reader Interactions

63Comments

  1. 1.

    frosty

    I’m really enjoying these nightly posts. So glad for the people of Tempe that you remembered to wear pants!

  5. 5.

    Anoniminous

    Re catcus:  Go to the Desert Museum and tell ’em what you want and they should be able to fix you up.

  8. 8.

    Almost Retired

    I am troubled by the phrase “perfectly good cargo shorts” because there is no such thing.

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    Shorts, man. Growing up in Seattle they were very limited in use scope (pre-warming) and then parachuting into California they’re now year-round attire.

    Guessing the shock of going from West Goldarn Virninnie to fucking Arizona has a similar impact. Why, and when, wear anything else? Funerals? Fancy eatin’ joints?

    Mind the latitude with those untrained gams. That sizzling sound may be you.

  13. 13.

    Lapassionara

    @swiftfox: good idea. I remember learning about cacti when I lived in Tucson. Most of them are very particular about the environment, but barrel cacti can live a lot of places.

  17. 17.

    BlueGuitarist

    Polls closed in NY for special election to replace George Santos.

    looks good so far, but votes in so far from more D part of district.

    Dems regained majority in Pennsylvania state house special election in D district.

  19. 19.

    CaseyL

    I love these nightly reports: they’re a wonderful end to the day. Cole has acclimated much more quickly to the climate than seems possible (granted, it is winter at the moment). Not to mention the John-Joelle partnership (marriage? – has the wedding happened yet? or are you two still Living in Sin?) – is just a joy to see.

    The only problem I have with overalls, and therefore do not own any, is that going to the bathroom is a Process. And I am at the age where sometimes speed is of the essence. Which is a pity, because I did wear overalls during my teens, and liked them.

  20. 20.

    NotMax

    FYI. “Tastes like crap, less filling.”

    Popular drink brands from Japan to the U.K. are lowering the alcohol content of their beverages.

    Japan’s Asahi and Sapporo breweries said they wouldn’t launch any new shōchū highball drinks with an alcohol content of 8% or higher, while Korean liquor producer HiteJinro lowered the alcohol content of its flagship soju, according to local news reports Tuesday.

    Globally, the shift toward lighter drinks reflects changing habits among drinkers — and in some cases, economic pressure.
    [snip]
    Amid rising energy costs, mortgage rates, and goods prices, popular British beers like Old Speckled Hen, Spitfire, Bishop’s Finger, and Foster’s reduced their alcohol content last year. Consumers have labeled it “drinkflation,” a spin on the term “shrinkflation,” which refers to companies that lower the size of their products but keep prices the same.… Source

  21. 21.

    cckids

    I’m a bit late here, but as a former Las Vegan, get her one of these cacti that look like a brain; they were a bit hit with my kids, are relatively low maintenance, and will occasionally surprise you with a colorful bloom. We found them at Home Depot, or any nursery.

    Otherwise, find a firestick, they’re fun because they turn the bright coral/red when the weather gets colder.

    Both are not terribly poky, and will travel well.

  23. 23.

    Scout211

    Thanks for the update John.

    I made a yummy, healthy chicken soup in my 8 quart Revere Ware soup pot today. Why? Because we both have COVID.  😫

    It’s really true, everyone will get it eventually.  It took over 3 years but it finally done caught us.  🫠

  28. 28.

    Jackie

    @JaySinWA:

    Buy some Arizona shorts and leave them there, mark your territory.

    Great idea! And one less item to forget next year. Besides, John, had you remembered to pack them, what if you forgot to pack them when heading back to WV? One way or another, you’ll end up shorts shopping.

  29. 29.

    SmallAxe

    Bro get yourself some shorts fast. You’re going to be in them daily for months starting a month from now and you need like 20 pairs out here, gym shorts, cargos, dress etc. Costco packed with cheap ones

  31. 31.

    Joelle

    @Jackie: I agree 💯!  This is what I do for my WV visits.   I keep a Cole closet full of cheap comfortable 90% off Old Navy to dip into for my time in the East.  Never pack a bag. Fly on dirt cheap airlines with a purse and a lipstick.

  33. 33.

    Joelle

    Oh and I love “Bunny.”  Joelle is great too.  But in Cole’s presence, I really have come to embrace the Bunny Lyfe.

  36. 36.

    SpaceUnit

    @NotMax:

    Jesus met the same fate as any commenter on BJ who admits to wearing cargo shorts.

     

    But he did ascend to heaven, so there’s that.

  37. 37.

    brendancalling

    “John Cole in Love” is the most adorable thing I’ve seen on the Internet in years.

    Also, you should meet my steel player. Overalls and boots 24/7, Long scraggly hair, scary beard. Grouchy AF too.

  41. 41.

    dmsilev

    Re the NY Special, Josh Marshall:

    The best indication I’ve seen so far that Suozzi’s winning this is I’m already seeing the first arguments about how a Suozzi win is probably bad news for the Democrats.

  46. 46.

    dmsilev

    WaPo:

    Breaking: Democrats flip ousted GOP Rep. George Santos’s N.Y. House seat, AP projects, in a race that hinged on immigration.

    Former Rep. Tom Suozzi (D) beat Mazi Pilip (R) in New York’s 3rd District special election, the Associated Press reported, narrowing the GOP’s House majority. His win may indicate how Republicans will fare in several competitive New York House seats this fall in an area where more than 100,000 migrants were bused in from the southern border.Santos was ousted by Congress from the Long Island-based seat in December after a scathing House Ethics Committee report and indictments by federal prosecutors.

  49. 49.

    Jackie

    @Joelle: LOL! My ex and I lived together two years before we married – mid ‘70s. My disapproving mom called it shacking up. When we married, I have no idea how many kept looking for a tell-tell baby bump – which happened 5 years later!😂

  50. 50.

    piratedan

    @Anoniminous: The Desert Museum is down here in the Old Pueblo, so that’s a big side trip for a small thang.  They should be able to hit any local landscaping gig or even the big box stores to pick up a cute little succulent.  If you’re looking for a nifty little cacti, I would suggest the pincushion as many of them actually flower.

  56. 56.

    David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch

    @dmsilev: I also felt the they hurriedly scrambled to get the impeachment done tonight because they didn’t think they would have the votes tomorrow, plus they wanted a distraction to counter the headlines of losing a red seat.

  59. 59.

    BigJimSlade

    Excellent post and comment thread :-)
    Hats off to everybody. Unless you’re listening to Randy Newman.

  60. 60.

    Prescott Cactus

    John,

    Opuntia, commonly called the prickly pear cactus. I know they grow well in the cold of Prescott (btw, Press-kit, or they’ll know you’re a lowlander), thus my nym. You don’t have to buy it, just ask a neighbor for a couple of paddles before you leave.

    Re: Cargo pants. Check out one of 4 White Dove Thrift Shop. All proceeds support Hospice of the Valley. and they’re inexpensive.  Awesome organization I still support.

    When “the old” take dirt naps out in AZ the kids come out from the Midwest and donate everything in the house, yard and closets. White Dove is often the choice recipient if their folks were in hospice care.

  62. 62.

    Ramalama

    Fun reading everyone’s reactions to cargo shorts but this has me goofing:

    I respond “I KNOW AND LOOK AT ALL THE POCKETS!”

    Cole figured out the best response was to Girl It Up. Hilarious and brilliant.

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