ZOMG YOU GUYZ!! TEH GOOGLE IS AL KAYDA!!!
I don’t know if you heard, but despite whatever those uppity people who have studied the Constitution say, know this: SHARIA LAW HAS SHOVED ITS DIRTY SAND-LADEN FINGERS INTO THE PATRIOTIC SOIL OF THESE UNITED STATES!!
You know Google, right? It’s like this internet search engine or something. They are fairly whimsical with their holiday celebrations. Usually they celebrate the day within the standards that have been set for internet search engines since time immemorial. But they’ve run into some trouble lately. Last year, I wrote about Google’s hatred of our veterans. (Google decided to celebrate the twenty-fifth anniversary of Tetris on D-Day instead of celebrating D-Day on D-Day.)
You know D-Day, right? It has something to do with the World War.
Which one? I don’t know. There were only two. Take your pick.
All you need to know is that it’s a very patriotic affair, and you best be wearing your flag pin on D-Day or you’ll be castigated for being a freedom-hater. Also, too, if you dare celebrate the anniversary of one of the most kick ass games of our time on this “D-Day,” then you hate America and should move to France.
I wasn’t bothered by Google’s Tetris shenanigans. I was willing to forgive Google’s America-hating ass because I love Tetris more than I love America.
But this? This is just too much for my red-blooded American patriotic heart to bear:
What the fuck?! Does it look like those socialist Muslim-loving American-hating googling bastards celebrated Veteran’s Day by changing their logo to a burning flag with a crescent moon sticking out of it? Because that’s what it looks like to me! Google hates us for our freedom! This is an outrage!
WE HAVE BEEN INFILTRATED, PEOPLE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
RL from Product-Reviews.net sums up the outrage perfectly, “An American flag covering a partial showing Islamic crescent moon…good job GOOGLE…way to do your part to further fan the flames of tension between the western world and the Islamic community. Lets see how you play dumb and spin this.”
Exactly. Way to go, Google. Give crazies such as Pamela Geller, Terry Jones and Tea Party patriots the fuel they need to wage an all-out slugfest of vitriol against Islam for ruining an American tradition. The Google doodle is distasteful at best, hateful at worst, for this Veterans Day.
Your Google doodle is supposed to enlighten and educate those who click on it, not cause a rift between two world powers.
In a civilized society we need to show respect. We show respect by opening the door for the elderly. We show respect by thanking a soldier for fighting for us. We show respect by saluting the flag when in uniform. We show respect by not desecrating someone’s sacred symbol.
Google’s Veterans Day doodle needs to show the flag, and any possible representations of it, respectfully. In times of peace, flags of all countries fly at the same level. The same should be true of American and Islamic ideals. There is no reason why they two can peacefully coexist. We don’t live in Salem, Massachusettts in the 1650s. No more witch hunts.
I’m disappointed in Google’s doodle for this Veterans Day. Our president just left the world’s largest Islamic country when he visited Indonesia. He treated Islam with respect. Is this doodle the way we show the world we are civilized and respectful? No wonder Islamic extremists hate us.
Wait, what?! I’m confused. What’s the point of the article?
Frankly, I don’t know what the article means. Is it satire? It’s not over-the-top enough to be satire. Is it serious? The arguments in the article are contradictory. Is it saying that Islamofascists are going to see Google’s logo and think, “DEATH TO AMERICA! EVEN THEIR SEARCH ENGINES HATE US FOR OUR HUMMUS!!”
Or is the article saying that the American flag has been desecrated because there’s a Allahdamn crescent moon sticking out of its ass?
I DON’T KNOW. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! HOW DO MAGNETS WORK?
Well, I may not know what that particular article was trying to say, but this tripe from World Fuckery News Daily (it’s where all the idiots get their news!) confirms my suspicion that teh Google really hates America:
Has Google established a proud, patriotic Veterans Day tradition?
For the fourth straight year, the liberal Internet search giant is honoring Veterans Day with a patriotic “doodle” on its home page.
This year the Veterans Day Google logo, or “doodle,” replaces the “l” in “Google” with a flagpole sporting Old Glory rippling in a brisk breeze. The flag is illumined by the sun shining through a cloud in the background.
Since its founding in 1999, Google has made a practice of using special “doodles” to celebrate noteworthy days such as Halloween, Valentine’s Day, Mozart’s birthday, the Chinese New Year and National Teachers Day. The company has also come under fire for its apparent aversion to recognizing Christian religious and American patriotic holidays such as Christmas, Memorial Day and Veterans Day.
Ironically, while ignoring America’s Veterans Day in 2006, Google chose to recognize Remembrance Day, the commemoration of war dead in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Canada and Australia. Google adorned its doodle with poppies inspired by the famous 1915 poem by Canadian Lt. Col. John McCrae, “In Flanders Fields.”
In 2007, Google doodles celebrated the birthdays of French inventor Louis Braille and Norwegian painter Edvard Munch, but the company ignored the 275th birthday of the single most important figure in the establishment of the United States, America’s greatest Revolutionary War hero and first president, George Washington.
Last year, Google was criticized for using its doodle to celebrate the birthday of the video game Tetris on June 6, the 65th anniversary of D-Day.
Google has a well-earned reputation for liberal bias. WND reported that 98 percent of political donations by Google employees went to Democrats between 2000 and 2004.
During the 2008 elections, Google’s Blogspot.com was condemned for shutting down blogs critical of Democratic candidate Barack Obama.
Also in 2008, Google issued a public statement opposing Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that defined marriage as between one man and one woman.
In 2009, Google’s Blogger.com blocked access to the blog of a Massachusetts political group, Massresistance, for criticizing a transgender rights bill under consideration by the state legislature.
Also in 2009, Google was criticized for revising its rankings for stories about President Obama’s eligibility, so that Web searchers would find stories by Obama supporters ranked above stories by Obama skeptics.
Google has also been criticized over the years for rejecting political ads and ads for books critical of Democrats, while accepting ads critical of Republicans.
The company was forced in court to change its policy restricting Christian ads critical of abortion. The U.K.-based Christian Institute sued Google Ireland Ltd. for refusing to allow advertising of sites that combined “abortion and religion-related content.”
Oh for fuck’s sake. Really, WND? Really? Google has a liberal bias! Oh noes!! Somebody call Fox News! (By the way, Google was “condemned” and “criticized” for all the shit mentioned in World News Daily’s article by… WORLD FUCKING NEWS DAILY!) Jesus H. Christ with pita chips.
Ugh. Why are we debating this crap? Don’t people have anything better to do? Can’t we all just get along?
I just want to get back to the time in our history where every man, woman, and child could eat a falafel without worrying that doing so was some kind of political statement.
[via Wonkette]
[I noticed that DougJ covered this earlier today, but I had already written this post for ABLC before I saw his post; so… that happened. I didn’t mean to step on anyone’s toes, especially DougJ’s; His toes are divine. Then again, I’m known as a habitual toe-stepper, so there’s that, too. -ABL]
freelancer
Today’s Jihad is brought to you by the letter “E”.
Sly
You joke, but I just looked out my window and saw an incredibly bright version of the symbol of Islamofascism suspended in the night sky. They truly are insidious and resourceful.
Just Some Fuckhead
Funny post.
Mnemosyne
Fix’d. If you think about it for a minute, you’ll remember why.
Face
Looks like the horn of a red rhino. Or else the flag has a cedilla. Or a half-claw.
S. cerevisiae
@Sly: And it comes around Every MONTH! – surely this must be a signal to terrorists!
Keith G
Do you read this blog?
Nick L
Literally LOLed at this. Nicely done!
But seriously, did nobody say “psst…it’s the ‘e'” to any one of these people? Or was the response “that’s just what they want you to think?”
I’m glad the internet will stay around for a while. Shit like this must have happened constantly in Rome, but there’s insufficient historical record. American collapse, by contrast, is preserved in hilariously silly detail.
TheOtherWA
When I first read about the Google logo, I was sure it was a joke. Because even in America, conservatives aren’t that stupid.
After reading some more, it was clear that yes, they really are that stupid.
It’s that or they can’t see the giant American eagle flying behind that flag. The red curve is the mighty talon of that eagle, so don’t mess with it!!
Just Some Fuckhead
@Nick L:
Right, and the flag is an ‘l’. Sheesh.
The Moar You Know
I am not at all certain how it is possible to swallow this much bullshit and live.
gnomedad
Someone’s been spiking the tea with some sort of designer hallucinogen. You cannot achieve this much crazy without chemical assistance.
Cat Lady
@Nick L:
Pastry Jihad. Conservatives are very serious.
Nick L
@Cat Lady:
I know, I know. I guess I figured that with the anti-Islamic nutjobs swelling in rank that the oddball intelligent one might find her way in there.
…is this more evidence that conservatives simply don’t use Google? Maybe they’re only dimly aware of what the Google logo looks like, and are easily deluded by a mischievous pot-stirrer.
soonergrunt
Ummm, firstly, what kind of loser uses the default Google homepage and not iGoogle?
Secondly, what kind of crack-addled, visually challenged walking ragegasm sees anything remotely controversial in that Google doodle?
Somebody needs an ass-whuppin.
RinaX
Wait, those articles aren’t snark? I read the first one about three times before giving up.
I’m sure the New Black Panthers are involved somehow, though.
eemom
know what the best part is? The Google folks are bazillionaires…….so, even though they hate America and love the mooslims, they STILL should get tax cuts!
And teh Google itself is a corporation, so it’s a people, and therefore has the inalienable right to pay lots of secret $$ to elect more obamafascist mooslims to public office! yeeehaw!
Michael D.
Yeah. Uhmmm. Wasn’t this post written earlier today?
asiangrrlMN
Bwahahahaha. You bring the funny as well as the angry, ABL. Love. It.
Angry Black Lady
@Mnemosyne: nice edit. i was too focused on america’s love of freedom and freedom fries.
@Michael D.: i wrote the post this evening, set it up to post over here too, saw dougj had covered it earlier, but threw caution to the wind and posted anyway since it didn’t seem like i was stepping all over dougj’s take on an issue.
what do i know. i’m just the nkotb.
+2
Origuy
Google just announced that they are giving 10% raises and a tax-paid $1000 bonus to all employees. Clearly they are socia-list un-Americans; that money should have gone to the stockholders!
http://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_16575302?nclick_check=1
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
I think that if one were to ban BJ posters from posting on the same topics, BJ posts would drop by a good third.
And how, precisely, do you know that DougJ’s toes are divine…?
Yutsano
@Angry Black Lady: Hon, the regular FP’ers here run over each other with cross posts all the time. It tends to happen with a passionate group of folks like we have here. In other words, you’re fitting right in. :)
@asiangrrlMN: Hi hon. I’ve managed to have both a busy day and a lazy day today at the same time. Don’t ask me how I did it, cause I’m not sure myself. Now about to eat pizza way too late than is good for me. And not caring. How you?
Jrod the Cookie Thief
@Origuy: Willingly paying employees more than the absolute minimum they can get away with?
The commies truly have won.
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
@Michael D.: BUT NO ONE WRITES LIKE ABL!
Also no one writes like DougJ.
I for one enjoyed reading about the same thing from two differently demented minds!
Brian S (formerly Incertus)
@soonergrunt:
Probably people still using Internet Explorer. I haven’t been to the google home page in years, I bet. Until I switched to Chrome, I used the handy little box in the upper right corner Firefox put there just for the purpose of search.
West of the Cascades
Spectacular post, ABL. When all our other freedoms are gone, they’re going to have to pry Balloon Juice out of my cold, dead fingers.
WotC + 4
cthulhu
In a rational world, this one-day graphic couldn’t possibly engender any serious attention and debate at all. My head hurts.
Larry Signor
It’s the bottom of the fucking E at the end of Google.
Angry Black Lady
@Yutsano: @asiangrrlMN: GET A ROOM!
(oh wait, that was last night’s crazy.)
:D
asiangrrlMN
@Angry Black Lady: As the nkotb, you’re hangin’ tough.
And, Yutsy, hon. ABL ordered us to get a room. Open up your wallet!
@Yutsano: That’s funny. I’m craving pizza. Huh.
By the way, someone predicted that the right would freak out over this stupid issue. Someone on BJ, last night. So damn predictable.
Yutsano
@Angry Black Lady: Dredging up old grudges and dirt is also a long-standing BJ tradition. Are you sure you’re new here?
fucen tarmal
conservatards can kiss bing hole if they don’t like it.
Resident Firebagger
Actually it looks like a chili pepper extending from the American flag. Chili’s should sue…
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Ah – once again, an American kerfuffle about the correct way to worship the graven image of the flag. Whoever claimed the US was a Christian country?
Cermet
Amerika is a christian country but there aren’t any christians that Christ would recognize. Also, looks like these fake christian do worship the flag but can’t spell – Google ends in an ‘e’ not a crescent moon: stupid = repug-a-thug
BottyGuy
The moon hates America a couple days each month.
inconsiderate moon.
worn
ABL, hon, that article was on Associated Content…might as well be railing about the lack of nutrition in a skein of cotton candy.
Maody
@Sly: late to the party, but your post is so full of win.
Schneider
I really didn’t notice what they had as a design on Google, Thursday. I was too busy duct taping C4 to my eight year old so I could detonate her in the market. Didn’t XHTML take the pro-wrestling champ title from the The Undertaker last year?