Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

This really is a full service blog.

Everybody saw this coming.

People are complicated. Love is not.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

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Dear Virginia, A Reply from Schlemazel from 2012: Is There a War on Christmas?

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A belated guest post from our beloved Schlemazel, written in 2012.

NOVEMBER 23, 2012 AT 2:38 PM

DEAR EDITOR:

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no war on Christmas. Papa says, ‘If you see it on FAUX News it’s so.’ Please tell me the truth; is there a War on Christmas?

VIRGINIA O’HANLON,

115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET

Schlemaze’s Reply:

No war on Christmas?

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by rationality in an irrational age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not provable by rational observation. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, can be little. The reaction to this great universe of ours can be for man to be a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a war on Christmas. It exists as certainly as hate and stinginess and demagoguery exist, and you know that they abound and give to their life its highest ugly and lowest meaning. Alas! How merry might be the world if there were a war on Christmas. It might be as merry as if there were no teabagers. There would be no inchoate hate then, no petty sniping, no panic to make less tolerable this existence. We should have enjoyment, except in insensate cruelty and slights. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be increased.

Not believe in the war on Christmas! You might as well not believe in T-bone eating Bucks! You might get your papa to hire men to watch all of FAUX News to catch the war dispatches, but even if they did not witness BillO frothing at the mouth, what would that prove? Nobody sees the war on Christmas, but that is a sign that there is a real war on Christmas. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see (according to FAUX News). Did you ever see welfare queens driving Cadillacs on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the evils there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

No war on Christmas!? Thank God! it lives, and it lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, it will continue to make mad the ‘brains’ of morans.

Merry Christmas, everyone!  Much love to all those who have gone before us, and can longer be with us.

 

Dear Virginia, A Reply from Schlemazel from 2012: Is There a War on Christmas?Post + Comments (22)

Site Issues Update: Major Change – Starting with a Clean Slate on Issues

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I am writing this morning with a quick update on the site issues we have been experiencing.  There are more details to share, but the site has been a source of frustration these past few days, so it’s important to get this information in your hands right away.

The Balloon Juice crashes over the past few weeks have mostly been the result of space issues on the server.   At 9:45 ET this morning, the Balloon Juice website was successfully moved from a 20 GB space to a 100 GB space.

So regardless of how the site behaved yesterday or last week, as of this moment we need to start with a clean slate in terms of how the site behaves.

Now is when we will truly get to see which issues were caused by the space issue – or were exacerbated by the space issue – and which are bugs or cache issues that still need to be resolved.  So if you experience a problem, please let us know ASAP, even if it is something you have brought to my attention before.

To clarify, if a single comment is eaten, or disappears for no reason, we want to know about it. Every time. If you post a comment and sometimes the edit box isn’t there, please tell us about that only once.

Feel free to note any issues in the comments of this thread – issues that are new, or issues that you were experiencing before but aren’t anymore.  That may go a long way to giving us a quick sense of where things stand.  As always, it will be a big help if you use the Site Feedback form or follow up with an email to WaterGirl.

If you caught the “error establishing database connection” error this morning, that was because the database was in the process of being moved from one location to another, which happened at 9:35 ET. The move should have happened within the scheduled midnight to 6 am window as planned, but it did not.

One final editorial note: John cares, I care, the developers care.  We are going to get this right.

Edit at 2:00 pm

The developers have added a new line in the Leave a Comment area. It’s a short-term workaround to the remaining cache issue, but it should work like a charm in the meantime.

If you don’t see both the Visual and the Text tab on the editor, click here to refresh.

If you look carefully, you’ll see that line in the image below.

Site Issues Update: Major Change – Starting with a Clean Slate on Issues

Site Issues Update: Major Change – Starting with a Clean Slate on IssuesPost + Comments (181)

One Month Out: Last Call on Site Rollout Issues

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The new site rolled out a month ago, and I’d like to get a feel for where things stand in terms of any remaining problems with the way the site functions.  Please keep in mind that no site will ever be perfect, and please also note that we are not asking for design suggestions at this stage of the game.

The goal is to get the remaining rollout issues resolved soon.

This is your opportunity to make sure your site problems are represented on the “Remaining Issues from Rollout” List.  I want to be sure that all ssues related to function are on the list, so please speak up now.  Feel free to also pepper the comments with things you like, lest it start to feel that everyone hates everything!

I am not certain whether some of these might the same issue, just being described in different ways.  Or perhaps they are different behaviors but they only happen when one of these other things happen?  

I am hoping to get clarity on that from all of you in this thread:  The more details and patterns that I can describe for any problem, the easier it is to resolve the problem.  So things like “yes, this happens to me, but maybe only once or twice a week”, or “it only happens when I use this browser and not the browser” will be especially useful.

If just one or two people are having a problem, that may be related to particular device/browser combinations, or even browser settings, so part of what I hope to accomplish with this post is to get a sense of the scope of any remaining issues.

Commenting

A.  Posted comments don’t always show up as soon as you post them, until a manual refresh.

B.  Bounce to the top of the thread after submitting a comment.

E.  Edit Comment is not always available after posting comment.

Are A, B, and E all different ways of describing the same issue?  Are they related in some way?

Do B and C only happen when your comment does appear immediately after posting?

Edit Comments

TV.  Text / Visual tabs aren’t consistently and reliably there.

Is this related to creating a comment?  Editing a comment?  Or both?

When do they go missing?  Do they stay missing?  Is it a now you see them, now you don’t kind of thing?

Navigation

N.  Back Arrow doesn’t take you back through a series of steps, as it should

If you have noticed any patterns, please share what you have noticed.

Scrambled Comments Just after Multiples of Ten

aka Comments Overwritten
aka Comment Sandwich
aka Overlapping Comments

Is anyone still seeing this behavior now that the ads have started?

Recent Comments

RC.  One person is reporting problems with Recent Comments

Is anyone else having this issue?  If so, please describe it in the comments.

Replies

R.   Only one person is reporting that they sometimes don’t get @nym when they hit the reply button.

Is anyone else having this issue?  If so, please describe it in the comments.

RSS Feed

RSS.   Only one person is reporting issues with the RSS feed.

Is anyone else having an issue with the RSS feed?

Wings for Previous Post / Next Post

Sometimes we have Post titles with special formatting: italics, strikethrough, etc.
This causes “interesting” formatting issues in the wings.
As long as there is special formatting in the titles, the wings are going to do that.
To do otherwise would involve non-trivial programming that we’re not prepared to ask for.

Have I missed anything?  It will be super helpful if you refer to an item with its initial/s as you speak about it in the comments.

It’s also useful if you note if you do not have the problems listed.

Update 5:30 pm Saturday: I’m going to keep checking back on this thread throughout the weekend, so input will be included from everyone who posts by 7am on Monday morning.

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General Stuck: Comments in No Particular Order

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Mary G. found a lot of good General Stuck comments, and I have been looking as well.  There are way more than we can possibly use for the calendar, so if anyone is interested, you can find a bunch of them here, posted in the comments.

Also, since comments are no longer being indexed for searching (at least for the time being, longer story for another time), I thought I would share some of the links with the highest match to “stuck” from my search last week while comments were still indexed.

And John mocks me for leaving tabs open!

chrlie2 004 before our walk

Open Thread

Because I can

View from Your La-Z-Boy

Institutional Interests

Manning Case–Judge Reduces PFC Manning’s Potential Maximum Sentence

Par:AnoIA Strikes

Stuck Update

“Generation Squeeze”

Open Thread

Open thread

The View From Your Couch

Open Thread: Thursday Garden Chat Edition

A Heady Mix of Incompetence and Self-Hatred

Have a Happy New Year, or the Hairless Monkey and His Little Rat Dog Get It

Oh Rosie, Oh, Girl

 

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Pet Calendar Pics: Deadline Midnight tonight (Friday)

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Just a reminder for anyone who hasn’t already sent in their pet photos for the calendar:

Please send your photos by midnight on Friday.  You can find all the details in the upper right hand corner under the button that’s called PET PHOTOS BY 12/13.  On phones and on tablets, you will find the same information with the same title under the three bars at the upper right (aka the hamburger).

Fine print: If it’s past midnight and you’re still getting your pictures together, I’m pretty sure that Beth will do everything to fit yours photos in.  But if you send your photos after 6am on Saturday, there’s no guarantee that your pictures will make it into the calendar. After that, you can send your pictures and ask Beth if there’s a chance, but if the design is completely done, the answer might be ‘no’.

We would still love to have you guys share favorite comments from efgoldman, Schlemazel, greennotGreen, General Stuck and Scotian, so if you have any stories or comments to share, please share them on this thread or send email to WaterGirl at balloon-juice.com by end of day Saturday.

 

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Dear WaterGirl: Did You Know…

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Dear WaterGirl,

I just travelled around the world in my hot air balloon, and now that I am back, I’m wondering if you guys made any changes to the new site while I was gone.

Dear Wow, That’s Amazing!

And here I thought we had accomplished a lot this week!  Let’s see… We switched from the lovely blue-green-gray background on block quotes to a possibly-more lovely blue outline with a shadow.  People seem to like that a lot; hopefully you will, too.

We increased the size of the space you get when you press RETURN, so we think people won’t feel the need to press RETURN twice between their paragraphs.  That should go a long way toward decreasing extra white space we’ve been seeing.

We also made a change to the comment numbers; they are a bit smaller and should size better on all devices.  (Bye-bye tiny little numbers on phones!)  Oh, and we changed the pie filter font that you see when you select quotes instead of images.

Dear WaterGirl,

What about the loyal On the Road people?  What have you done for us lately??  Writing not just for myself, you understand, but for all of us.

Dear On the Road Peeps,

Well, let’s see.  We moved On the Road from Featuring in the sidebar to the category bar at the top.  We hope that was a nice surprise! But we took away something, too; we hope you won’t mind.  You won’t see duplicate images anymore when the most recent post on Balloon Juice happens to be an On the Road post.  Going forward, you’ll just have to be satisfied with a single copy of all those gorgeous images.

Dear WaterGirl,

Have there been any changes that would specifically affect front pagers?  We love change!

Dear Front Pagers,

At long last, we added a plugin for filtering Categories and Snark to the Classic Editor, so those of you who don’t typically use the Block Editor won’t have to go to the Dark Side for ease of adding categories and snark to posts.

Dear WaterGirl,

Are there any little things we might want to know, that we may not know already?

Dear Inquiring Minds…

Yes!  That’s an excellent question!

Did you know you can make the comment box longer, so you can see your entire comment, even if it’s long?  Just drag the little thingie (technical term) that’s at the bottom of the comment box until it’s the size you want.  The little thingie is to the right of the little P that people ask about, and it works in the Reply box as well as in the comment box at the bottom.

Speaking of the little P, what does it do?  P stands for Paragraph, so it’s saying you are in Paragraph mode.  If you put your cursor inside a blockquote, it will say P and Blockquote.  If something is in color, it will say P and Span (which indicates color).

Speaking of white space… the block quote feature automatically adds space around the outline of the quote, so now if you add an extra line manually, either above the quote or after it, you get a boatload of extra white space.

The RSS feed now includes the name of the BJ author, but that won’t show up in your old feed; in order to see it, you have to subscribe again.

Sometimes we refer to a location for something on the site as if that location is true for everybody.  (I am definitely guilty of this!)  For instance, the Pet Calendar Info is located at top right on the site, but only for computers and for tablets that are in landscape mode.  Tablets in portrait mode, and phones, will show that under the hamburger. (aka the 3 lines located top right on a phone)  The same is true when we talk about the sidebar – that’s only true on computers and tablets in landscape – on a phone, or a tablet in portrait mode, that’s all located after the comment window at the bottom.

THAT’S ALL THE LETTERS FOR TODAY.  I’LL CONTINUE TO DO THIS FOR A BIT UNTIL EVERYBODY IS UP TO SPEED.

 

Dear WaterGirl: Did You Know…Post + Comments (66)

Pet Calendar: General Stuck, greennotGreen, efgoldman, Schlemazel… We Need Your Stories, Memories, Quotes

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Speaking of the pet calendar, please get your entries in!  The first deadline was yesterday.

Look for Pet Calendar Info in the upper right, just under the balloon man; that’s where you’ll find the info if you’re on a computer or a tablet in landscape mode. If you’re on a phone, or on a tablet in portrait mode, look for it in the hamburger; that’s what some people call the 3 horizontal lines (top right) on a mobile device.

John is planning a couple of In Memoriam pages at the front of the 2020 BJ Pet Calendar, and we need your help.

Do you have a favorite comment by General Stuck or Schlemazel?  Stories from a meetup with efgoldman?  Something you learned from greennotGreen or Scotian?

Was there an epic fight between the General and Cornerstone?  You know, more than the usual.  A favorite Charlie story?  Words of wisdom from Schlemazel?  Something that greennotGreen shared that particularly touched you?

Do you know some charming thing about one of our beloved commenters that we would all love to hear about?  Something that would make us laugh, or wipe our eyes?

I searched for each person, and there are 461 pages of threads that match with efgoldman, 67 for greennotGreen, 217 for Schlemazel, 1302 for General Stuck, and 12 pages for Scotian.

There may be more for pages for General Stuck, but he changed his nym fairly frequently and I don’t remember all the nyms he used.  Searching for “stuck” gave the best results and found a couple of his nyms.  Do you guys remember any nyms for Stuck besides General Stuck and General Winfield Stuck? (edit: Stuck in the Funhouse, supplied by Librarian.)

Do you remember the spelling of the other nym was that was close to Schlemazel, but not exactly that? Or what his original nym was before he switched it to one of those? Satby did some sleuthing, and it was Schlemizel in 2012. That gives us a few more years of his comments.

I know he and I had a long conversation about why he changed his nym, but to find that one I need to know the original spelling before it became Schlemazel.  If I could find that conversation, I think we could find what his first nym had been.

Reminder: all of efgoldman’s original comments were somehow corrupted on the old site and were no longer there in the old database when we checked about year ago.  Any comments that efgoldman REPLIED to are in there.  So if EF wrote a comment about the awesome watermelon he found at the farmer’s market, that comment is not in the wordpress database.  But if YOU wrote a comment about the awesome watermelon you found, and efgoldman replied to your comment, his reply will be in there.

We have at least a couple of folks with great Google Fu – Steeplejack and Another Scott.   They did some efgoldman sleuthing last year, and I believe Steep is making a last ditch effort with a 2-year old backup to see if any of efgoldman’s comments can be found. If there’s something that was important  that you haven’t been able to find, maybe they can help us out?  Subaru Diane, I hope you see this, too!

In the meantime, if you have stories, memories, or quotes to share, jump right in!

Let’s take this great idea of John’s and turn it into something special.  Are you guys up for that?

Update:  We want everyone to have the opportunity to contribute ideas for the In Memoriam section, if you so desire.  Since the deadline is so short, if you think you might be proposing something over the next few days, please pipe up in the comments IN THIS THREAD to let us know that so we can plan for more input.  Or not.  Thank You!

Update 12/10: If you would like to contribute further to the In Memoriam portion of the calendar, please send email to WaterGirl at the balloon-juice address.  

Pet Calendar: General Stuck, greennotGreen, efgoldman, Schlemazel… We Need Your Stories, Memories, QuotesPost + Comments (72)