The trip to Dallas and back went off without a hitch. No accidents, no tickets (1 warning), and no missed flights on the way home. All is well.
A few quick notes-
– ATTENTION ALL SOUTHERN FOLK- Ford, Chrysler, and Chevrolet all sell something other than monster trucks and SUV’s. They are called cars. You might think they are kinda interesting- they even fit 4 whole people- they have this thing called a back seat- sorta like a bigger version of an extended cab, if you will. I know some of your women were a touch on the hefty size- but other than your dates, I didn’t see you hauling anything to justify the 9 million Dodge Power Ram 950000 monster trucks I saw on the road.
– The life expectancy of a Tennessee State Trooper has to be shorter than that of a D-Day infantryman at Omaha beach. All of I-40 west is named in memory of a trooper- which could explain why there were none on the road issuing tickets. I drove 85 miles an hour the whole way from Nashville to Memphis, and people were passing me like I was going 40. Amazing- so much for the ‘law and order’ South.
– I learned that in the south, the four food groups are barbecued, deep-fried, breaded, and dessert.
– I stopped in Hope, Arkansas, birthplace of the Big Me, aka Billy Jeff. If Arkansas is their vision for the whole country, the Clintons must be defeated at all costs. There was a spectacular hole in the wall BBQ joint there (The Smokehouse?), and I had the best pulled pork sandwich I have ever had.
– Dallas leads the nation in middle-aged bottle blondes with boob jobs.
– If everyone in the South would drive slower and talk FASTER, they would find their life to be much more fulfilling (one theory of mine was that they drive like hell to make up for all the lost time spent speaking at such a slow rate of speed).
– The South is hot. Damned hot.